Stop Asking When — Start Becoming Who It Requires

In this episode, we unpack a pattern I’ve been seeing more and more in sessions: the desire for certainty without participation. We talk about why readings are meant to be mirrors, not instructions, and how constantly asking “when” can actually keep you stuck. This is a conversation about nervous system familiarity, capacity, identity, and why the universe gives you breadcrumbs instead of the full picture. And how to start working with that in a way that is grounded, empowering, and rooted in self-trust rather than outsourcing your next move.

In this episode:
The shift from asking for guidance to asking for guarantees
The desire for outcomes without discomfort, identity shift, or behaviour change
Free will and why the universe requires your participation
Breadcrumbs vs. big answers — how guidance actually shows up
Why you won’t be given the “one thing” if you haven’t used what you’ve already received
Patterning in the body, behaviour, and perception
When you stop needing readings — walking the path vs asking for it
Introduction to thought + emotion pairing (inspired by Joe Dispenza)
A step-by-step example: creating alignment for a new job

Summit takeaway:
“Stop asking when it’s coming — start becoming someone who’s ready to hold it when it does.”

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Continue the conversation on Instagram: @alannacrawford_

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome to the Summit of Death, where science meets goal and you don't have to pick one or the other. Hi, I'm your host, Elena Crockett, osteopathic manual practitioner and wiki master teacher. On the pod, we're talking about body wisdom, energy, intuition, and becoming an expert of your own life. Whether you're looking to find yourself again, create a new version, or see, just here for the results, you're in the right place. I'm here to demystify spiritual curiosities while adding a layer of humanness to the healthcare experience. No gatekeeping, no pedestals. This podcast is for the woman who is ready to take her power back. Let's do it. Hello everybody, happy Wednesday. I hope everyone is having a great day ahead of me about to be a little bit spicy up in here, okay? I'm jumping right to it. I'm gonna say something that might piss a lot of you off, but you really need to stop asking for certainty in readings. A reading of any kind energetic, tarot, mediumship, all the intuitive things. We need to stop, okay? What we need to do is the work you already know how to do, but you're avoiding it. Because lately, guys, in session, people aren't asking for guidance, they're asking for guarantees on things. Specifics, like right in their face, right now, they want them. And I'm just like, guys, we're missing the entire point here, okay? Please understand I am saying this from a place of deep, deep love. I love my job more than anything in this entire world. But at the end of the day, I am a teacher and I am a tool. No one can do your healing for you. You have to do that shit on your own. So try stop trying to skip to the guarantee, to the answer, the timeline, the thing. When you're doing that, you're saying to me, I'm not ready to heal. Not even that you don't want to heal, it's that your frequency is not ready to heal. People want the relationship, the job, the healing, the outcome. But what they don't want to do is sit in the discomfort or have the identity shift or the nervous system regulation or just like an actual change in behavior. And a tarot reading, mediumship, Reiki, intuitive tools are being used as shortcuts instead of mirrors as they are intended to be. And I'm not saying everyone, so please, if you see me and you listen to this and you're like, I did my homework, love you, see you, girl. But I am seeing more and more of this, and this is why I feel like I need to address it. I also don't think, guys, that um this is coincidence. Like this kind of guarantee and certainty is really revving up at this time where like the world is really going to hell in a handbasket. And I get it. It's hard to go in and do the work. We are functioning on autopilot because everything in our day takes effort these days, and everything is extremely heightened emotion. It's very polarizing, it's very difficult. But I would argue it's even more important now than ever to show up and do the work. Because healing and life just isn't going to happen to you. You have to participate in it. This is what I built this business on. Just like the state of the world isn't going to magically get better. We have to participate in that as well. So let's all put our big girl pants on and let's get to work, shall we? I think to get the point across, I'm going to throw out some scenarios of sessions. I may kind of like meld it into one kind of common one. So this is no one specific, this is just like a common theme. Um, but I get a lot of people who want to make a career change. Um, either a full-blown career switch or like setting up their life to serve them better in a career. And I think this is a really common one I've been seeing lately. It's probably because like we're shedding winter, we're moving into spring, or we're going from stillness, we're going, we're we're headed from stillness into movement. And sometimes if we haven't worked out the kinks, the energy, the emotion there, it's it feels like a turbulent transition or like you can't get off the ground. So that could be also part of why this career one um is really coming through right now. So in a session like that, their first session, like we identify that they want to do this switch. Their crown chakra feels off, their solar and their sacral are low, and they're needing like a more soul-led or soul-aligned change. So in session, we work through clearing stagnant energy, cutting cords or tethers that might be holding them back, maybe things from the Akashic Records that they need to know about in order to understand their purpose. So, homework for a session like that typically looks like a nervous system or a chakra homework pertaining to what area we want to keep open and moving. Could be both too. Um, and then it could be more than one or two things there, but that's typical. As well as following hints or nudges towards things that they are pulled to or using signs to dig deeper towards their goal. And they would have been given a sign indicator in this session. So they go away all jazzed up, got this like breadcrumb plan. We're gonna follow everything with nudges, we're gonna work on the chakras, yada yada yada. They come back, their energy feels different and never feels back to the first session. Some of the same spots feel familiar, but the guidance they get in this next session is really get moving. Like you need to make moves. Also, here's another sign to help you because you weren't really working with your sign. But it's kind of like I get boxed out a bit, and the guides are like, they know they're not making moves, it's stagnant, it's almost sometimes like an excess of energy in the solar or the sacral because it's just not being like pushed out and put into motion. Then in the debrief, all I hear is okay, but just tell me exactly what the thing is, and then I'll do it. Like I have no issue making moves, just tell me exactly what the move is and like when it's coming. Ay, ay, ay, ay, aye. You can't handle the thing. Okay. You got served up some gold and you didn't do anything with it. So you certainly are not going to be told the one thing to do that's going to change your life. You have to participate. You have to do the work. You have free will, you need to exercise it. Here are the cold, hard facts. You asked the universe and it delivered. In the original reading, we talked about what Claire you would feel pulling you towards certain things. So remember, are we seeing? Are we feeling? Are we hearing? Are we knowing? So, to break that down even further, let's use an example. I have a Clair Sentient client. So she is a feeler. Her main Claire is feeling. Let's say a course or a coffee with someone comes up, and she will literally feel the pull inside of her body, it'll be a physical feeling of a pulling towards the thing. That is the breadcrumb. That is going to start her on her new path or plan. But participating like that, it requires work. You need to be present, you need to be regulated. I'm not saying you need to walk around 24-7 zend out, but you do need to use regulation tools to get your mind and your body right to opening and receiving. And I will double down and say I would have given the tool in the first session because the dysregulation would have come up. The next fact: you have free will. The universe isn't going to take the reins until you have made a choice. You have made motion. You have to jump first into the unknown. And it doesn't need to be scary like just quitting your job with no job lined up, but it could be taking a course or going to a networking event. Once you make the choice, the jump, the forward motion, then you will get the specifics. The universe is like, hey girl, look, look at you. You did the damn thing. You went to that networking event to the topic of thing you want to move into. Let's keep going on this path. And I'm going to throw you some more cool stuff, and we're going to use our sign or a clair, and you're going to keep going and going. Initiatives, initiatives, intuitives will often say the universe is going to challenge you before it rewards you. And I think we need to change this phrase. Let's okay, let's say the universe is going to invite you to begin, you have to accept. And what I mean by that is you have to do the actual work. Then the universe sees you're on board and you get more. That's how it works, guys. The reason you don't get the big bold thing right off the bat is because you cannot handle it. If you are looking to make a change and it means you would be functioning day to day at a different frequency. Like if you were going to make this big bold change, you would be operating at a different frequency day to day. It's what it's why you don't have it right now because you're not operating there. You would be operating as a different version of you, and you need to be able to hold that. So if we look at what a reading is, a reading doesn't tell you what's going to happen. It shows you what you're currently aligned with. So it reflects back to you current patterns, nervous system states, and choices. It shows potential timelines, not fixed outcomes, because it highlights what needs to shift, what you're avoiding, and where you're out of alignment. If you were on the path that leads you to the thing you want, you would not need to keep asking where is the thing. The universe doesn't hand you outcomes, it presents you opportunities to become the person who can hold them. So, for example, if you want a relationship, you cannot avoid vulnerability or boundaries. You have to set them, you have to be vulnerable if you want that relationship. If you want a business, you need to show up consistently. You need to be okay with being visible, with putting yourself out there. If you want healing, you have to make lifestyle changes and you have to do emotional work. You can't just look for a tool or a quick fix that's just gonna magically change things for you because that's how you got ill or in need of healing in the first place because you weren't doing the things. The universe isn't gonna hand you the end goal if you're avoiding participating in the behaviors and patterns that get you to said end goal. They're gonna give you the insight into what you need to be done in order to get the aha moment. And I'm gonna slow this down for another second because I'm thinking like it's not that you are doing something wrong. It's just, I want to explain how your system works. I'm sorry I'm so jazzed up, guys. I'm gonna bring it home through love. Just really jazzed up. Okay. The really good spot to be in. Sometimes comfort zones or familiar familiarity are not good places. We're self-sabotaging. So we're always choosing what's familiar. Even if you consciously want something new, a relationship, a different job, a healthier version of yourself, your body's still going to default to what it knows how to handle. Because to your system, familiar equals safe, right? We know this. Over time, your body builds patterns. It could be in your thoughts, it can be in your behaviors. Heck, it even goes down to your physiology. And the patterns aren't random, they're built from what you have experienced and then also what you've adapted to and what you've had to do to feel okay. So sometimes they're they're they're built out of survival and we needed them at the time, but they're no longer serving us. So when something new starts to come in, something bigger, healthier, more aligned, your system doesn't always recognize that as safe right away, right? Because it's new, it's unfamiliar. And that sometimes can feel like a threat. And this is where we get tripped up. And this part might be a little hard to hear, but it's also really empowering. You can't fully receive something your system doesn't yet feel resourced to hold. And it's not because you're not worthy of it, but it's because your body is trying to protect you from overwhelm. So it's not blocking you, your body's not blocking you to hold you back, to be like, oh, they're unworthy, they're undeserving. It's in no way like that. And I think sometimes we get in our head that it is like that. It's just it's slowing things down until you feel safe enough to actually sustain what you're asking for. And why it feels unsafe, that is completely different to everyone. There's like no one size fits all for that. But you internalize, you internalize this as like the universe is withholding from me. It's like just give me the damn thing. But that's why it's withholding. You wouldn't be able to handle it or you wouldn't know what to do with it, and you might actually self-sabotage it or pass it over altogether because it's uncomfortable. So the more you collect our little breadcrumbs, the more you collect them, the more you lean in, the more you trust, your capacity grows and grows. And then it's like a snowball effect and it builds to the really big thing. And that's often when we get those intuitive, aha, big events. The snowball has been made as big as it can, and then boom, we got it. And I have a million of those stories with clients clies. It's like slow burns, they did the work, it worked out better than ever expected. But that ain't sexy. No one wants to hear that. So that's why we only hear about these big life-changing intuitive stories. You hear them on podcasts, you hear them on from friends or from so-and-so, almost like urban legends. And in that instance, I would ask you to be like, okay, what happened leading up to that? Because I'm telling you, it is a universal law. There are breadcrumbs. And typically, when you do the homework, you don't need me, or like any reader for that matter, because once you start walking the path, it gets laid before you. Those are my favorite emails. Like, hey, Alana, I did that meditation and I did the letter exercise, then ended up getting your promotion. Or I worked on leaning into the creative energy of the sacral chakra, and uh alone came through. And now I can start thinking about what is the business or how I'm gonna build this new business. That is how it works. And here is more great truth, guys. You don't need a reading or energy work to start getting the breadcrumbs. You can do this for yourself, and I'm going to tell you right now how to do it. Firstly, if you want to change your life, I talk about him a lot, but Dr. Joe Dispenza is your man. Literally anything he's written, go absorb it. Especially if you like the style of my podcast because he's deeply grounded in science and spirituality. He is my unofficial mentor. Like he has no idea I exist, but his work has completely changed my life and my clinical practice. But over time, my friends, not magically overnight. And I think that's what we all want it to be like. Oh, I'm gonna do this thing and then poof, magically it's gonna happen. But we know that it doesn't work like that. So, firstly, if you like this, go get yourself a copy of Becoming Supernatural by Dr. Joe Dispensa. This is how this is his work. This is not mine at all. But Dr. Joe teaches us that in order to manifest correctly, we have to pair a thought with an emotion. And this goes hand in hand to what I'm saying about your ability to be able to hold a new frequency of the thing, situation, or outcome you desire. So let's look at the example of the new job. I actually think he uses this one at some point in that book, but again, it's what I'm seeing a lot of with clients over the past couple of weeks, so we're gonna use it. You are stuck on the fact that you don't know what the job is. So, what you're coming to me is like you want the universe to be like the job title is you're gonna go be a consultant, bada bing, bada boom. But that that's not how it works. First, we have to start figuring out what we want from a job. So I'm gonna use me as an example for this thought and emotion exercise, Dr. Joe's. So the thought, let's use mine. I want flexible hours so I can spend time with my daughter in the morning and also get a workout in before work. I want to be able to do manual work on patience, but I also want to teach. I want to make six figures. I want to be able to travel whenever I want and have the means to do so. I want to be able to give back to my community, help charitable organizations and participate or create community events. I want the flexibility to be able to create and be creative in a way that fulfills me. So now to the flip side, we have to look at the emotions that would pair with those or the frequencies. So if I had those things, again, don't know what that job title is, but if I had those things, I it would make me feel purposeful and passion filled. So two frequencies. I would have the honor, honor of providing for my family. That's another frequency. I would be grateful, gratitude, high frequency, guys. I would be grateful that I get to do something I love every day. I would be grateful to lead by example for my daughter that she could do or be whatever she wants in this world. So you get the point. We need to list the emotions that are tied to this job so we can start feeling in that frequency. So you're gonna write out your two lists, your thoughts and your emotions. Then you're gonna meditate on it. And when you meditate on it, think about the thoughts. So go through that thought list. And then you got to get your body to feel that emotion. That's the tricky part. Sometimes it's really hard in the beginning to feel those emotions. It's hard to get ourselves there. A lot of like imposter syndrome or unworthiness, all that stuff is gonna come up and it's gonna try to talk you out of or not let you feel those heightened emotions. And that, guys, that's why you're not getting the big, big bold thing. It's why you're only getting breadcrumbs because we have to begin to rev up your frequency to get you to those higher frequencies, to get you to the big bold thing. So you do this every damn day and you start to live in those frequencies as much as you can. If you can't get to gratitude, get to peace. Like start at just even one up level of frequency or emotion, because then you attract it and you pull that reality towards you. And if you really want a little extra something, something, I will add my own spin on this to help you get out even just a little bit more. So ask the universe for a sign. At the end of that meditation, before you close out, say, guys, guys, I am so grateful for you. I want to be able to take the steps on this path to becoming the next version of myself. Please give me a sign when you leave me a breadcrumb. So when you get that thing, however small or big, placed before you, you will get a sign. Firstly, trust it. Secondly, accept it. And you have to do the damn thing that was placed there, even if it's really small. You can't be like, no, I want something bigger. If it's small, it's because that's what you can handle in the moment. And that's it. That is it, guys. I'm sorry I was spicy. That's literally all I want to leave you with today. You don't need more clarity. You don't need another freaking reading. You do not need me or anyone to tell you exactly what to do. You already have way more information than you think you do. I want this for you. I really freaking do. And it's why I'm spicy about the topic. Because everyone who walks through my doors, I want it so freaking damn bad for them, but I want it the right way, the long game. So you literally don't ever need me or another reader or another intuitive because you got this and you know how to how to use this in your favor to build the life that you want. And listen, this isn't about doing it perfectly. You're gonna mess it up. Okay, at some point you're gonna mess it up a little. You're you're gonna ignore a nudge sometimes, and that's part of being human. But every time you choose to lean in instead of wait, you're building that trust with yourself and you build the capacity for what you're asking for. So stop asking when it's coming. You have to start becoming somebody who's ready to hold it when it does. And I promise you, the moment you start doing that, you won't need to ask me anymore. Okay. I love you all. I don't love spicy Alana being out here, but she's out here. She's out here because she loves you. I hope you enjoyed today. I want you to get out there and start practicing that. And as always, you can find me over on Instagram, Alana Crawford underscore, and we can continue the conversation, or I'll see you next Wednesday. Have a wonderful day.