What Your Body Is Trying to Tell You About Stress, People-Pleasing, and Self-Abandonment

What if your pain, fatigue, or tension isn't purely a physical problem — but a signal your nervous system has been sending you for a while? In this week's Weekly Recharge Newsletter audio, Renae unpacks the pattern she finally couldn't ignore: every time she leaves Massachusetts, her chronic back pain disappears. Every time she lands at Logan, it comes back.

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What started as a coincidence turned into a question — and that question leads somewhere most people aren't ready to look.

We're getting into the real cost of people-pleasing (it's not just exhausting — it lives in your body), why so many women lose touch with what they actually want and why that's a survival adaptation not a personality flaw, and what your nervous system has been trying to tell you through tension, pain, and fatigue.

Plus — a mental rehearsal practice to help your system start rehearsing the version of you who doesn't abandon herself.

→ Follow along to the Mental Rehearsal Video HERE

If you've been doing all the "right" things and still feel off, stuck, or like your body is working against you — this one's for you.

→ Watch the interview with Christopher Chamberlin - Why High Performers Stay Burned Out | Survival Mode & Nervous System Reset w/ Christopher Chamberlin

→ Click here to learn more about the Sovereign Man Experience

→ Watch the episode mentioning The opposite of Ease is Dis-Ease: Finding Freedom From Ego & Subconscious Limiting Beliefs | Peter Crone

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the audio version of the weekly recharge newsletter. My name is Rene, the founder of Wayward Wellness Coaching. And if you stumbled over here from the Hustle Rebels podcast, welcome. If you want to stick around, you can also subscribe to the weekly recharge newsletter by clicking the link in the show notes. Otherwise, we're just gonna go right into the newsletter. The opposite of ease is disease. And your body has been trying to tell you that for a while now. Some of the things that we'll cover this week is why your pain or fatigue or tension might not be purely structural, the hidden cost of people pleasing and where it lives in your body, why so many women lose touch with what they actually want and why that's not a flaw, it's a pattern, what your nervous system is trying to say when it's been ignored long enough, and a mental rehearsal practice to start reclaiming yourself this week. A few weeks ago, I told you I was getting on a plane to Austin. I talked about how just deciding to go had already started shifting something in me, how environment plays a bigger role than most people actually realize, and how your brain literally becomes more open to change when you pull it out of autopilot. I promised I'd let you know what came out of it, and well, I got something I didn't quite expect. A pattern I finally couldn't ignore. You know, I've been dealing with some back pain since my surgery. It's been a roller coaster. Some days manageable, and some days just walking a couple of flat miles with the dogs is genuinely hard. Here's what I've slowly started to piece together. Every single time I leave Massachusetts, it goes away. It doesn't matter where, it doesn't matter how long. Out of state, pain quiets down. Sometimes it disappears entirely. Last August, I was wearing heels in Orlando. In November, I was in Colorado and hiked four miles. Mountain miles. During a stretch when flat ground at home was a struggle. Then I landed back at Logan and there it is, waiting at baggage claim like it never left. I've chalked it up to coincidence more times than I'd like to admit, but at some point, coincidence runs out of runway. One trip could be a fluke, but every trip, that data becomes a slap in the face. And then I heard something that made it all click. I was watching an interview with mindset coach Peter Crohn on the Know Thyself podcast, and he said, the opposite of ease is dis-ease. You cannot be healthy until you free your mind. You can watch the full interview by clicking the link that's in the newsletter. I can also put it in the show notes as well in case you're listening to this. It's a little long, you can just listen to it on one and a half X. It's totally worth it though. But sit with that for a second. The opposite of ease is dis-ease. You cannot be healthy until you free your mind. A few weeks ago, I gave you the science that novelty increases neuroplasticity, travel pulls your brain out of autopilot, and environment shapes your identity. All of that is real. But this is pointing at something underneath that, something less clinical and a lot more uncomfortable. What if some of what your body is carrying isn't purely structural? What if it's the physical cost of staying in situations, patterns, dynamics, roles that are slowly squeezing the ease right out of you? That's not all in your head. That's your nervous system being brutally honest when the rest of you won't be. So what's actually happening in Massachusetts? I'll spare you the full details, but at the root of a lot of my stress is a pattern I'd bet money that some of you recognize. Not putting myself first, not communicating my needs, and honestly, not even fully knowing what I want because I've spent so long tuned into everyone else's frequency that my own signal has gone pretty quiet. Recovering people pleaser, party of one, probably party of many, but my body doesn't feel better out of state because of Orlando, Colorado, or Austin have magic air. It feels better out there because I'm not abandoning myself the same way I do at home. The environment isn't just geography. It's the roles that you play, the needs that you swallow, and the version of yourself you keep defaulting to out of habit or guilt, or simply not knowing that there's another option. The hidden cost of people pleasing isn't just burnout. It's physical. Chronic people pleasing keeps your nervous system in a low grade state of threat. You're constantly scanning. Am I okay? Are they okay? Did I do something wrong? Did I say something wrong? Did I take up too much space? That vigilance has a body. It shows up as tension, inflammation, fatigue, and yes, even pain. It's not weakness, it's what happens when your system has been running someone else's emergency protocol for too long. And a lot of us don't even know what we want anymore. I've been hearing it from a lot of women around me constantly lately, tired of not feeling seen or heard at work or at home, carrying the invisible labor, always putting everyone else first. And then when there's finally space to focus on themselves, one of two things happens. They either don't know what they want anymore, or the people that they spent years taking care of suddenly become offended that they're trying. That's not a personality flaw. That's a survival adaptation that was learned early and reinforced forever. That has genuinely outlived its usefulness. And I've actually got a podcast guest coming up soon who goes deep on exactly this. So I highly recommend that you subscribe to the Hustle Rebels and stay tuned. Your nervous system has been trying to tell you something. Stress doesn't just live in your head, it lives in your shoulders, your jaw, your gut, your lower back. When your needs go unspoken long enough, when you shrink yourself small enough, long enough, your body starts keeping the score whether you're ready to look at it or not. The pain, the fatigue, the tension that won't quit, it's not always a structural problem. Sometimes it's a signal. And signals are worth listening to. So this week's nervous system tool is the mental rehearsal. Here's the thing about the desire check-in. Knowing what you want is only half of it. The other half is actually believing you're allowed to have it. And that's where this comes in. This mental rehearsal practice is something I've been using with clients and honestly, myself as well, to help your nervous system rehearse the version of you who doesn't abandon yourself. Not the fantasy version, the rebuilding version, the one who speaks clearly, holds the boundary without apologizing for it, and walks away from the hard moments with I didn't abandon myself this time, instead of the usual spiral. Your nervous system doesn't know the difference between something you vividly rehearse and something you've actually lived, which means every time you run through this, you're making that grounded, clear, self-honoring response feel a little more familiar. And your nervous system is wired to gravitate toward what feels familiar. And you can access the mental rehearsal in the link within the weekly recharge newsletter. And I can also post it in the show notes of this podcast as well. Come back to this as many times as you need to this week. I even recommend daily, if you can. The more that you rehearse it, the more that your nervous system starts to build the trust to it. And this week on Hustle Rebels Podcast, if you missed this week's episode, it was the first inaugural tool for the Hustle Rebels Toolbox. The tools and resources for the listeners of the podcast, which is going to be designated as Toolbox Tuesday. I sat down with Christopher Chamberlain, founder of Lionheart Transformative Coaching, and creator of the Sovereign Identity Recode Method. And we got into why so many high performers still feel exhausted, restless, and stuck, even when they're doing all of the right things. We're talking survival modes, subconscious beliefs, nervous system dysregulation, and why more discipline is rarely the answer. It's truly a good one. And if you know a man in your life who's been grinding through the same cycles and can't figure out why nothing is actually shifting, Christopher works with men specifically on exactly this. His Sovereign Man Experience is coming up May 8th through the 10th, 2026, and you can check it out through the link of the Sovereign Man Experience in the show notes. And you can also watch my interview with Christopher on YouTube and listen to it on any of your favorite podcast platforms. And if you're new here or feeling nostalgic, feel free to go through any of the previous newsletters by following the link. As always, I appreciate you guys and I'm always here to chat, or even if you have any questions, share the weekly recharge with a friend so that they can be regulated just like you. See you guys next week.