Surrendering My Life to God | EP13

For most of my life, I believed a simple formula:

Work hard → prove your value.
Become strong → then you will be safe.
Succeed → then you will be respected.

But recently, while reading Ephesians 2, I realized the gospel reveals a completely different order.

Not effort first, then value.
But being loved first, then identity.

In this episode, I share how that realization challenged the way I’ve lived for many years. Letting go of control sounds beautiful in theory, but in practice it can feel frightening. If we stop relying only on our own strength, will we become weak? Will we lose motivation?

Through conversations with trusted pastors and my own spiritual journey, I’m beginning to understand that trusting God doesn’t mean abandoning effort. Grace doesn’t cancel growth — it changes the foundation of growth.

Instead of striving to prove our worth, we begin growing from a place of being loved.

If you’ve ever struggled with control, pressure, or the feeling that you must constantly prove yourself, this episode may resonate with you.

Because surrender is not giving up responsibility.
It’s releasing the illusion that everything depends on us.

And learning to walk forward in faith — one step at a time.

Email: elenaswy@gmail.com

IG: @elenaswenyu

Transcript

How I Met Jesus — Episode 13

Surrendering My Life to God 

Hi, this is Elena.

Welcome back to How I Met Jesus.

As I look back on the past few years of my life, I realize that for a long time, the inner logic I lived by was very simple.

I believed:

I must prove my value.

I must become strong in order to be safe.

I must succeed in order to be respected.

I must stay in control in order not to lose.

Those beliefs shaped how I understood life. They shaped how I approached work, relationships, achievement, and security.

If I worked hard enough…

If I tried hard enough…

Maybe I could build a life that was stable and safe.

Recently, while preparing for a Bible reading, I read Ephesians chapter 2. And something in that passage deeply moved me. It says:

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.”

That verse challenged the way I had been thinking about life. Because the order it describes is completely different. For most of my life, I believed the order was this:

First effort, then value.

First proving myself, then acceptance.

First becoming strong enough, then feeling safe.

But the gospel reveals something very different.

Not effort first → then value.

But being loved first → then identity.

Not proving first → then acceptance.

But acceptance first → then growth.

Not earning life first → then deserving to live.

But being given life first → then learning how to live it out.

And to be honest, this realization brought not only comfort… but also fear.

Because deep inside, I realized that part of me was still holding tightly to control. I wasn’t sure if I truly knew how to entrust everything to God. At the deepest level of my heart, I don’t think I had reached a place of complete trust yet. And that created new questions inside me.

If I stop relying on my own control…

Will I become weak?

Will I lose my motivation?

Will I stop growing?

Would trusting God mean becoming passive? Or dependent?

These questions stayed with me for quite some time. I shared these struggles with two pastors I trust and respect. I brought them my doubts honestly and asked for their guidance. And their responses helped me realize something important:

Trusting God does not mean abandoning effort.

Grace does not cancel growth.

Instead, it changes the foundation of growth.

Instead of striving to prove our worth… we grow from a place of being loved.

Instead of fighting to secure our identity… we live from the identity that God has already given us.

And that’s when I began to understand something about surrender.

Surrender is not giving up responsibility. It is releasing the illusion that everything depends on me. It is trusting that God is working with me, not asking me to carry life alone.

In the past of my life, fear was driving so many of my decisions.

Then I began learning how to set boundaries and protect my own voice.

Later, I started learning how to trust again, even in uncertainty.

And now, grace is teaching me something even deeper.

That I was never meant to carry life by myself.

I don’t have to build my life alone.

I don’t have to prove my worth through constant effort or control.

Instead, I’m learning to walk forward with faith — one step at a time — trusting that God is guiding my path. And that realization has slowly brought a different kind of peace into my life. Not because everything is certain now, but because I know I’m not walking this journey alone.

Ending Prayer

Father Lord,

Thank You for reminding me that my life is not something I must carry alone.

When I feel the urge to control everything, help me remember that Your grace is enough.

Teach me to grow with responsibility, but without fear.

Teach me to trust Your guidance, even when I cannot see the whole path.

And help me live from the truth that I am already loved.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

Thank you being here and listening. If you feel this episode might help someone in your life, you’re welcome to share this podcast with them. And if you have your own story, testimony, struggles, or questions, I would truly love to hear from you.

You can find my email and contact information in the description of each episode.

My hope is that by sharing our stories, we can remind each other that we’re not alone on this journey.

Until next time, take care of your heart.