Learning to listen to my own heart | EP14

For a long time, I believed I knew exactly where my life was supposed to be.

California represented opportunity, energy, and possibility. After moving to the United States from China, I spent several years there and assumed that it would eventually become my permanent home.

But life took an unexpected turn and brought me to Kansas.

At first, Kansas felt temporary — quieter, slower, and very different from the life I imagined for myself. I kept telling myself that one day I would return to California.

And eventually, I did.

But after spending two months in Los Angeles again, something surprising happened. Instead of feeling inspired by the city’s energy, I felt overwhelmed by the noise and constant motion. And in the middle of that experience, I realized something I hadn’t expected:

My heart felt more at peace in Kansas.

In this episode, I share the story of returning to Kansas City and the deeper questions that came with that decision — questions about success, identity, cultural expectations, and what it truly means to listen to our own hearts.

Sometimes peace doesn’t come from chasing a bigger life.
Sometimes it comes from learning to listen to the quiet voice inside us — the place where God may be gently guiding us.

If you’ve ever struggled with where you belong, what success really means, or how to discern God’s direction in your life, I hope this conversation resonates with you.

Email: elenaswy@gmail.com

IG: @elenaswenyu

Transcript

How I Met Jesus — Episode 14

Learning to listen to my own heart 

Hi, this is Elena.

Welcome back to How I Met Jesus.

A few years ago, if you had asked me where I wanted to live, my answer would have been immediate: California. 

Sunshine. Ocean. Energy. Opportunity.

After moving to the United States from China, I lived there for three years. For a long time, I truly believed that California was where my life would stay. And then… life brought me to Kansas. 

At first, I didn’t see Kansas as home. Compared to California, it even felt a little boring. I saw it as just a temporary stop. I kept telling myself, “One day, I’ll go back to California.”

So after everything that happened, I returned to Los Angeles again. Part of me believed that this was where I was supposed to be.

But after living there for about two months, I noticed something unexpected.

Instead of feeling inspired, I felt overwhelmed by the noise, the pace, the constant motion of the city.

LA felt loud.

Restless.

Always moving.

And in the middle of that noise, I realized something surprising.

My heart felt more at peace in Kansas. I missed Kansas.

So l began questioning myself.

Was I running away?

Was I making this decision because of past pain?

Was I choosing comfort instead of growth?

I kept checking my own heart again and again.

I wanted to be honest with myself.

And after a lot of reflection and prayer, something became clear.

This decision wasn’t about escaping something.

It wasn’t about avoiding challenges.

And it wasn’t about another person.

It was about something much simpler.

I genuinely wanted that inner peace.

So eventually, I made a decision.

I ended everything in Los Angeles and returned to Kansas City.

And I realized something about myself.

For many years, I had been chasing what I thought life was supposed to look like.

But faith has been teaching me something different.

Sometimes the most important thing is not chasing a bigger life.

It’s learning to listen to your heart.

And trusting that God can guide you through that quiet voice.

And when I returned… something interesting happened.

New opportunities appeared. I met many kind and supportive new friends. I found new communities. And for the first time in a long time, I had space to reflect on my life.

For most of my life, I was always chasing results. I wanted everything to happen quickly. Success. Achievement. Progress. In many ways, I was trying to prove my value through success.

But when life slowed down in Kansas, I began asking myself different questions.

What is real value?

What does success actually mean?

And what does happiness really look like?

And I also found myself wanting to know Jesus more deeply.

Living between China and the United States also exposed me to very different ways of thinking. In China, I grew up in a culture that emphasizes discipline, achievement, and meeting expectations. In the United States, I encountered ideas like individuality, self-expression, and faith. Some of these ideas challenged what I had always believed.

And through these cultural and personal experiences, I realized that life had given me many stories. 

Stories of moving across cultures.

Stories of rebuilding identity.

Stories of questioning what success really means. 

And I began to feel that maybe these stories shouldn’t stay only inside my head. Maybe they could help someone else who is also navigating change. So I started recording this podcast.

At the end of this episode, I want to share one thought.

Peace doesn’t always come from changing the world around us.

Sometimes it comes from finally listening to the truth inside us.

And sometimes that quiet voice is where God is gently guiding us.

Before we close today, I want to take a moment to pray.

Father Lord,

Thank You for guiding us even when we feel uncertain. When our minds are full of noise and doubt, help us slow down and listen to the quiet voice within our hearts.

Give us wisdom to recognize where You are leading us, and the courage to follow that path with trust. Remind us that peace does not come from chasing the world’s expectations, but from walking with You. And help us live with clarity, humility, and faith.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

Thank you for being here and listening. If you feel this episode might help someone in your life, you’re welcome to share this podcast with them. And if you have your own story, testimony, struggles, or questions, I would truly love to hear from you.

You can find my email and contact information in the description of each episode.

My hope is that by sharing our stories, we can remind each other that we’re not alone on this journey.

Until next time, take care of your heart.