Can I Change the Way I See Myself? | EP19

If I already understand where my unworthiness comes from…
why is it still so hard to change?

In this episode, I explore the tension between awareness and transformation — why old beliefs can still feel real, even when we know they’re not true.

Through personal reflection, I share what it looks like to slowly unlearn what was never true, and begin to trust a different truth.

Just because something feels true doesn’t mean it is true.

Email: elenaswy@gmail.com

IG: @elenaswenyu

Transcript

How I Met Jesus — Episode 19

Can I Change the Way I See Myself?

Hi, this is Elena.

Welcome back to How I Met Jesus.

In the last episode, I talked about where this feeling of unworthiness comes from.

How many of our beliefs about ourselves were formed in childhood…

In moments we didn’t choose, in environments we couldn’t control.

And for me, that realization was both… relieving and uncomfortable.

Because on one hand, it helped me see that 

Maybe I wasn’t “broken.”

Maybe I was just shaped.

But on the other hand, it led me to a deeper question.

If these beliefs were learned…

Can they actually be changed?

Because knowing something is one thing.

Changing it is another.

I started noticing this in my own life.

Even after I became aware of my patterns, even after I could clearly see where they came from…

I still felt the same fears.

I still had moments of self-doubt.

I still questioned my worth.

I still found myself reacting in old ways.

And that confused me.

Because I thought:

“If I understand it now… why hasn’t it changed?”

And I think this is something many of us experience.

Awareness feels like a breakthrough.

But then reality hits.

Because awareness doesn’t automatically undo years of conditioning.

Just because something is not true doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel real.

Those old beliefs… they may not be true anymore.

But they still feel true. Because they’ve been repeated over and over again in our lives.

I noticed something similar recently in a completely different area of my life.

I’ve been practicing tennis, and my coach has been helping me adjust my forehand technique. But when I tried to follow the correct form he showed me, I actually started missing the ball more. And without even thinking, I would go back to my old way of hitting. Not because it was better or correct, just because it felt more familiar. It felt more comfortable. It gave me quicker results.

And that made me realize something. Sometimes we don’t go back to old patterns because they are right. We go back to them because they feel safe. Familiar doesn’t always mean healthy. It just means practiced.

And in the same way, learning a new way of seeing ourselves can feel just as uncomfortable at first. Because for a long time, our identity has been built on what felt familiar.

Even if it was limiting.

Even if it was painful.

It was known.

And anything new… even something healthier, can feel uncertain. 

So when I started trying to see myself differently, to believe that I am already worthy, that I don’t have to prove myself… Part of me resisted it. Not because I didn’t want it. But because it felt unfamiliar.

And that’s when I realized something important.

Changing how I see myself is not just about understanding something new.

It’s about learning to trust something new.

Because if I only follow what feels natural, I will always go back to what I’ve practiced the most. And what I’ve practiced the most is not always the truth.

So I began asking a different question.

Not: “What feels true to me?”

But: “What is actually true?”

And for me, that question led me back to God.

Because if I rely only on my own thoughts, my past will keep shaping my present.

But when I look at how God sees me, I begin to see a different foundation.

God doesn’t say: “You are only worthy when you succeed.”

He doesn’t say: “You have to earn love.”

He doesn’t say: “You are too much, or not enough.”

He says:

You are already loved.

You are already seen.

You are already enough.

And at first… I didn’t fully believe it. It felt too different. Too simple. 

Too far from what I had believed for so long. 

But slowly, I began to practice something new.

Not perfection. But small choices.

Moments where I pause instead of immediately believing the old voice.

Moments where I notice the thought but don’t follow it.

Moments where I remind myself: “This is what I used to believe. But it’s not the truth anymore.”

And I think that’s what change really looks like.

Not a sudden transformation.

But a quiet, repeated decision to return to truth.

Change doesn’t happen when everything feels different.

It happens when we choose something different.

There are still days when the old thoughts come back.

But now, I recognize them.

And instead of letting them define me,

I can choose where I stand.

Because just because something feels true doesn’t mean it is true.

And maybe healing is not about erasing the past.

But about learning to stand in a new truth… even when the old one still feels familiar.

Prayer

Let’s pray.

Dear Lord,

You know the thoughts we carry, the beliefs that have been with us for so long.

Some of them feel so real that we don’t even question them.

But today, we bring them to You.

Help us recognize what is true, and what is only familiar.

Give us the courage to let go of the beliefs that no longer serve us.

And teach us how to trust Your truth even when it feels new, even when it feels uncomfortable.

Walk with us through this process of change.

One step at a time.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

Just because something feels true doesn’t mean it is true.

And healing begins when we choose to believe something different.

And for me, that means returning to God’s truth — to what I see in the Bible — and allowing it to reshape the way we think and live. Again and again. Through practice. Through patience. Until truth feels more natural than fear.

Thank you for being here and listening. If this episode resonated with you, feel free to share it with someone who might need to hear it. And if you have your own story, testimony, struggles, or questions, I would truly love to hear from you. 

Until next time, take a deep breath… and remember — you are already loved.