Is It Wrong to Want Money? | EP24

Is it wrong to want money?

In this episode, I explore the quiet tension between faith and financial desire — the part of us that wants to build, grow, and create… and the part of us that feels uncomfortable about it.

Through personal reflection and a powerful family story, I begin to uncover how our beliefs about money are often shaped long before we realize it — through history, fear, and what we’ve inherited.

Sometimes we don’t just inherit resources. We inherit fear. Maybe the question is not whether money is right or wrong, but what we’ve been taught to believe about it.

Email: elenaswy@gmail.com

IG: @elenaswenyu

Transcript

How I Met Jesus — Episode 24

Is It Wrong to Want Money?

Hi, this is Elena.

Welcome back to How I Met Jesus.

In the past few episodes, I’ve been talking about my relationship with money.

The anxiety. The fear. Where it comes from.

As I kept reflecting, I found myself facing a different kind of question.

Is it wrong to want money?

Because on one hand, we live in a world where money is necessary.

We need it to live. To support ourselves. To create a stable life.

But on the other hand… especially in faith, there’s often a different message.

Don’t be too attached to money. Don’t chase wealth. Be content.

And somewhere in between those two messages, I began to feel confusion.

Because part of me wants to build something.

Wants to grow. Wants to create financial freedom.

But another part of me feels uncomfortable about it.

Almost like… wanting money might mean something is wrong with me.

And when I sat with that feeling, I realized this is not just a personal struggle. It’s something much deeper. Because in my family, money has never been a neutral topic.

I remember my dad once told me a story. His grandfather — my great-grandfather — used to be very wealthy. They owned a lot of houses. They had land. Other people rented from them. But during the Cultural Revolution in China, everything changed. The family was stripped of everything. Their properties were taken away. And because of that time, being wealthy was no longer something respected. It became something dangerous. People who were labeled as “landlords” were publicly shamed. Paraded in the streets. Humiliated. Even attacked. And my great-grandpa… couldn’t bear that kind of humiliation. He passed away when he was only around fifty. My dad once told me a memory he still carries. He said when he was very very young, he woke up in the middle of the night. And he saw his grandpa sitting alone on a broken bed frame, wearing a torn cotton coat, coughing quietly in the dark. That image stayed with him. And now… it stays with me too. Because when I hear that story, there’s a heaviness that settles in my chest. A sense of helplessness. A quiet kind of sorrow. And somewhere underneath… a subtle anger I didn’t expect. Not just for what happened… but for how powerless they must have felt. 

And without anyone saying it directly, a message is passed down.

Money is not just something you want.

Money is something that can expose you.

Something that can make you a target.

Something that can disappear overnight.

Sometimes we don’t just inherit resources.

We inherit fear.

And maybe that’s why part of me feels conflicted. Because I don’t just associate money with success. I also associate it with risk. With pressure. With something that can be taken away.

So when I ask myself: “Do I want money?”

Another voice quietly asks: “Is it safe to have it?”

And that’s a very different question. Maybe this is where the struggle really is.

Not just in wanting money. But in what we believe money means.

Because maybe money itself is not the problem. But the meaning we attach to it is.

And maybe that’s what I’m starting to explore. Not just: “How do I make more money?” But: “What do I believe about money… deep inside?” And is that belief actually true? Or is it something I inherited without ever questioning it? I’m realizing it slowly.

Prayer

Let’s pray.

Dear Lord,

You see the thoughts and beliefs we carry about money. Some of them come from our own experiences. And some of them have been passed down through generations. Help us see clearly what we have inherited. Not just externally, but internally.

The fears. The assumptions. The meanings we’ve attached to money.

And gently guide us to see what is true.

Teach us how to desire without fear. To build without guilt.

And to trust You in the process.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

Maybe the question is not: “Is it wrong to want money?” Maybe the real question is: What have I been taught or inherited to believe about money… that I’ve never questioned?

Thank you for being here and listening. If this episode resonated with you, feel free to share it with someone who might need it. And if you have your own story, testimony, or questions, I would love to hear from you. Until next time, take a deep breath… and remember — you are already loved.