Becoming Aware of My Gifts | EP29

Have you ever felt like you have something inside you… but you’re not fully using it?

In this episode, I reflect on the story of Peter the Apostle — someone far from perfect, yet chosen and used in a powerful way.

Through his story, I began to ask a deeper question: What if the issue is not that we lack gifts, but that we’ve been waiting too long to use them?

I share my own experience of holding back — waiting to feel ready, confident, or “good enough” — and how that waiting quietly kept me from stepping into what I already have.

You don’t need to become someone else to use your gifts. You just need to stop hiding them. Maybe the question is not “Am I ready?” but “Am I willing?”

Transcript

How I Met Jesus — Episode 29

Becoming Aware of My Gifts

Hi, this is Elena.

Welcome to How I Met Jesus.

Recently, in our Sunday worship, we’ve been learning about Peter the Apostle in the Bible.. And what stood out to me is this: Peter wasn’t perfect at all. He was a fisherman, with no formal education.

He was impulsive. Sometimes afraid. Sometimes unsure. He was the one who stepped out of the boat… and then started sinking. He was also the one who said he would never deny Jesus… and then did. However…he was still chosen. And later, he became one of Jesus’ twelve disciples, playing such an important role in Christian history.

That made me wonder…why him?

And slowly, I began to see something. Peter didn’t become useful after he became perfect. He became useful because he was willing to follow. When Jesus called him, he left his nets behind and followed Him. He didn’t figure everything out, but he was willing to say yes. And that realization suddenly felt very personal. 

Because I started to look at myself. What about me? Could I also be used by God?

Have you ever felt like you have something inside you…but you’re not fully using it?

Have you ever felt like you’re meant to do something—and you actually have the ability to do it—but something is holding you back?

We always have reasons.

“I’m not ready yet.”
“I’m not confident enough.”
“I’m not good enough.”

“I need more time.”

“I’ll start when I become a better version of myself.”

And honestly…that has been my story.

But recently, as I’ve been learning about Peter, I felt something very strong. Almost like a calling. God created each of us with something unique. A way of thinking. A way of expressing. A way of seeing the world. And those things…are not accidents. They are gifts.

But so often, we don’t treat them that way. We ignore them. We doubt them. We question them. And sometimes…we just wait. Waiting for the “right time.” Waiting to feel ready. Without realizing that the waiting itself is what keeps us from using them.

And I also begin to notice something in myself. It’s not that I don’t have anything to offer. It’s that I’ve been holding it back.

Sometimes, it’s fear.

Fear of being seen.
Fear of being judged.
Fear of not doing it well enough.

And sometimes…it’s a habit. A habit of shrinking myself. Of not fully stepping into what I know I could do.

Maybe this is where everything begins to change. Not when we suddenly feel confident. Not when we finally feel ready. But when we become aware. Aware that there is something in us that we’ve been hiding. It’s not that we weren’t given gifts, or that we lack ability. It’s that we didn’t know how to trust them. We didn’t feel safe using them.

Because somewhere along the way, we learned to question ourselves. To doubt what comes naturally. To believe that what we have is not enough. And that belief keeps us small, makes us feel stuck.

But our gifts were never meant to prove our worth. They were meant to express it.

God didn’t choose Peter because he was ready. He chose him because he was willing.

And that changes the question. Not: “Am I ready?” But: “Am I willing?”

And I think that’s where I am right now. Not fully confident. Not fully certain. But willing to begin. Willing to stop waiting. Willing to trust…that what God has placed in me… is not a mistake. And instead of pushing it away…I’m learning to face it. With honesty. With curiosity. And even… with courage. Because maybe the real step forward is not becoming ready—but starting anyway.

Let’s pray.

Dear Lord,

Thank You for creating each of us with intention. Thank You that nothing about us is random. Even the parts of ourselves that we don’t fully understand yet. Help us recognize the gifts You have already placed within us. Not through comparison. Not through fear. But through truth.

Give us the courage to stop hiding what You’ve given us. Even when we feel uncertain. Even when we feel unready. Teach us to trust not just in our abilities, but in You — the One who gave them. And guide us to use our gifts in a way that reflects You.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen.

In the next few episodes, I’ll be exploring this idea of gifts more deeply. What has been holding us back. Why we don't trust ourselves. And what it really means to step into what we’ve been given. And if any parts of this resonate with you, I hope you’ll stay with me on this journey. I’m still right in the middle of it.
Please remember, your gifts were never missing. They were just waiting for you to stop hiding them.

Thank you so much for listening. See you next time!