Why I Don’t Trust Myself | EP32

Have you ever felt like you know what to do… but still hesitate?

In this episode, I explore why we struggle to trust our own voice — and how that’s connected to fear, past experiences, and faith. Through personal experiences, I explore how that pattern was formed — and how it quietly keeps us stuck in cycles of hesitation, doubt, and overthinking.

It’s hard to trust yourself when you’ve been trained to doubt yourself.

But what if learning to trust yourself is not about relying on yourself alone…What if it’s about learning to trust what God has already placed within you? You don’t need to be certain. You just need to trust enough to begin.

Transcript

How I Met Jesus — Episode 32

Why I Don’t Trust Myself

Hi, this is Elena.

Welcome back to How I Met Jesus.

In the last episode, I talked about fear—how it quietly keeps us from stepping into our gifts. But I also realized that underneath fear…there’s something else. Something more subtle. Something I didn’t always recognize.

It’s this: I don’t fully trust myself.

Honestly, this realization felt uncomfortable. Because on the surface, I’ve always thought of myself as someone capable. I can think. I can learn. I can figure things out. But when it really matters—when it’s time to make a decision, to take a step, to move forward—I hesitate. I second-guess. I look outside for confirmation. For validation. For reassurance. As if I can’t fully rely on what I already know inside.

And that’s when I realized—it’s not just fear. It’s a lack of trust in myself.

And when I look back, it makes sense. Because growing up, I didn’t always learn to trust my own voice. When I asked questions, I was told to stop. When I noticed things, I was told I was overthinking. When I felt something strongly, I learned to doubt it. 

So slowly, I stopped relying on myself. I learned to look outside. To wait for someone else to tell me what’s right. To confirm what I already felt. And over time, that became a pattern.

Even now…When I have a clear idea, I still question it. When I feel a strong direction,  I still hesitate. Not because it’s unclear. But because I don’t fully trust that it’s okay to follow it. And sometimes… it feels like a loop, a cycle I can’t seem to break. The less I trust myself, the more I hesitate. The more I hesitate, the less I move forward. And without movement…there are no results. And that only confirms the fear:“See? I was right not to trust myself.” And then the cycle continues.

And maybe this is something many of us carry. We don’t trust ourselves—Not because we are incapable. But because we were never taught that our inner voice is safe to follow.

It’s hard to trust yourself when you’ve been trained to doubt yourself.

And this is where something began to shift for me. Because I started to realize: Trusting myself was never meant to mean relying on myself alone. It was meant to be connected to something deeper. 

To God.

Because if God is the one who created me… If He is the one who placed these gifts in me…Then what I feel inside is not random. It’s not something I have to fight against.  It’s something I’m learning to understand.

And maybe learning to trust myself is actually learning to trust what God has placed in me. And more than that—it’s learning to bring it back to Him. To lay it before Him. My thoughts. My ideas. My desires to move forward. Not holding onto them tightly… but surrendering them. Saying:“God, if this is from You, lead me.” “And if it’s not… redirect me.”

Because I don’t have to figure everything out on my own. I don’t have to carry the full weight of every decision. God is not just watching from a distance. He is guiding.  He is shaping. He is walking with me in it. Even when I don’t feel certain. Even when I don’t feel ready. 

And that changes something. Because now, moving forward is not about relying on myself alone. It’s about trusting that God is with me as I take the next step.

Not perfectly. Not with complete certainty. But step by step. Learning to listen  instead of immediately doubting. Learning to move instead of always waiting. Learning to believe that I don’t need constant permission to begin.

Right. You don’t need to be 100% sure to take the next step. You just need to trust enough to begin. And sometimes…that trust is not even in yourself. It’s in God— who is already at work within you.

Let’s pray.

Dear Lord,

You know the places in our hearts where we struggle to trust ourselves. The places where we hesitate, where we second-guess, where we feel uncertain.

Lord, help us to see clearly where those patterns come from. And gently begin to heal them. Teach us how to trust what You have placed within us. Not in a way that separates us from You—But in a way that brings us closer to You.

Remind us that we are not alone in our decisions. That You are guiding us, even when we don’t feel certain. And give us the courage to take small steps forward—Not because we are completely sure…But because we trust You.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen.

Maybe you’ve always known. You just didn’t trust yourself enough to follow it. But what if…that voice inside you is not something to silence—but something to bring to God? To sit with Him. To pray through it. To ask:“God, is this from You?”

And instead of trying to figure everything out on your own…you begin to walk with Him in it. Step by step. Not because you are completely sure. But because you are no longer walking alone. And maybe that’s what trust looks like. Not having all the answers. But being willing to take the next step…with God.

Please remember, you don’t need to trust yourself perfectly to begin. You just need to trust that God is already at work within you.

Thank you for being here and listening. If this episode resonated with you, feel free to share it with someone who might need it. And if you have your own story, testimony, or questions, I would truly love to hear from you.

Until next time,
take a deep breath…
and remember —
you are already loved.