Parenting is Hard (And No One Really Warns You))

Parenting is hard—and not just in the way people warn you about.

In this honest, relatable episode of Explorer Enthusiast, we’re talking about the real side of motherhood: the mental load, the daily decision fatigue, and the constant negotiations that come with raising kids. From toddler tantrums and bedtime battles to school schedules, sick days, and juggling work, life, and parenting—this is what modern mom life actually looks like.

If you’ve ever:

• Negotiated with a toddler like a hostage mediator
• Debated whether to enforce rules or just survive bedtime
• Felt overwhelmed by the invisible mental load of parenting
• Tried to balance motherhood, work, and your own sanity
• Questioned if you’re doing it “right”

You’re in the right place.

This episode dives into:

• The reality of parenting vs. social media expectations
• Why kids are natural negotiators (and how it drains you)
• Mom guilt, burnout, and emotional exhaustion
• The shift from physical exhaustion (little kids) to mental overwhelm (big kids)
• Finding humor in the chaos of raising children

Whether you’re in the toddler stage, navigating school-aged kids, or just feeling overwhelmed by parenting in general, this episode will make you feel seen—and remind you that you’re not alone.

Because parenting isn’t about perfection—it’s about showing up, figuring it out, and sometimes just getting everyone to bed.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Hi, I'm Jen, and this is my therapist says I talk too much. A little mindful, a little mapless, and talking my way through life. This isn't a polished roadmap. It's honest conversations about growth, rebuilding, motherhood, business, travel, and all the in-between moments that are sometimes hard and sometimes fantastic, where we can have the real conversations together. Today, I'm here about talking about parenting. It's been on my mind lately, and it's one of those things that happen daily. Parenting is hard. It is harder than anyone lets on. And I don't think we do a good job talking about it. I think it's amazing. I love being a parent, I love being a mom, but rarely ever do we have really good conversations about how hard it is. So here I am today. Parenting is beautiful and it's wonderful, but it's also really hard. And so we are going to talk about the unhinged moments and the things that can make you laugh and make you cry and all of the things in between because I don't think there's enough healthy conversations around it. That's what I'm here for. I want to talk about how a few people tell you how many negotiations you're gonna have daily. Small children are professionals, they're born with a skill set to negotiate. I'll be telling a few stories about why you're constantly negotiating, but one that always comes to mind is my daughter was like 18 months old, and she had like a fashion sense from the beginning, and she loved these little black shoes that were like a bow where on the top, like Mary Jane's with like a little pink bow, and she loved them. She wanted to wear them every day. She's pretty much non-verbal, she doesn't even have words, and it was pouring rain outside, and if they had a hole at the toe, like these cute little almost like slippers. And I remember she wouldn't put on other shoes, she only wanted to wear the black, pink bow shoes, and I said no because it's pouring rain. And she was kicking and screaming, like literally hand, fist, pam, ta-da-da-da-da-da. She said to wear my shoes. And I just remember sitting there staring at her, negotiating with an irrational toddler. There's no way I'm gonna win this. She ended up wearing the shoe. She won. But I'm sitting there asking myself, how is an 18-month-old so passionate about shoes? And why am I spending my time doing this? It's a funny thing to think about. Here's another negotiation: sleep, right? You have a two and a half year old and they love to have a pacifier. But what you're realizing is that you keep the pacifier only at bedtime. At some point, you're like, we need to eliminate the pacifier. How do we do that about bedtime? You have to make a decision. Do you let the kid cry with no pacifier? Or because you're tired, do you give them the pacifier? Eventually, you're gonna have to cut the pacifier out of the nightly routine. But what do you do? You're exhausted. You've been doing things all day. You're feeding the kids, you're cleaning the house, you're doing your work a thousand miles an hour for 12, 14 hours already. And it's eight o'clock. What do you do? Do you give the pacifier? Do you let them cry for 30 minutes? What do you do? You have to negotiate, right? Are we gonna build the habit tonight? Or are we just surviving? Because once you commit, you gotta commit. It's never easy though. Some nights you're not building lifelong habits, you're just trying to get everyone to sleep, right? And then the pacifier debate seems very logical, right? You're like, oh, that's easy. Obviously, we can get the kid ready. When you're physically exhausted and can't stand overwhelmed with how tired you are, you just want to go to bed. At that point, all rationale has been thrown out the door. It's really hard. Another negotiation I deal with constantly is showers and how often is appropriate to shower. I think daily is reasonable. My kids disagree completely. My kids refuse, it becomes a fight. I'm like, you just played flag football for two hours and you are so sweaty and you smell you need to go shower. And the kids just don't always want to. 20 years ago, I was like, why would no kid want to shower? But at 8 42, when you've already had your second dinner made and the kids fed you you picked them up, you got them to practice, you fed them twice, you're now fighting shower, and it's almost nine o'clock, you are tired, and it becomes this whole conversation of just get in the shower. With kids, it's a negotiation. There's a version of parenting online that looks effortless. Real parenting looks like negotiations about showers at 9:42 p.m. Here's another one when your kids roast you. My fashionista daughter is very into clothes, it's like defines her. She may be a fashion designer when she grows up, but she is the first one to call me out on an outfit. If she does not like it, she will tell me. But the other day I came down and she's like, Mom, your jeans are not cool anymore. And I looked at her and I'm like, I have birthed you, I have changed your diapers, I've done so much for you, and you are gonna come down here and tell me about what jeans I should be wearing. It just didn't feel appropriate. It's all in good fun, but it's pretty funny. One thing that I actually do feel really hard is the sick days when kids call in sick and all they want to do is sit and cuddle on the couch while your kids are little. You can't really do anything because they don't feel good. Rearranging your plan, you have six free hours to get things done, report, record a podcast, run a business, whatever you're doing. You now have to sit on a couch and watch a terrible TV show for the next six hours. I love my children, but I do get in a little bit of a bad mood about sick days. Tried really hard to have perfect attendance as a kid, and I didn't realize it at the time. But my parents were both working full-time, and there was no way they're gonna be able to sit on the couch with me. I have a lot more flexibility in my life. I'm very fortunate, but my son did call me out the other day. He said he wasn't feeling good as he's going to bed, and he's my head's hurting a little bit. And I'm like, Okay, let me know. I need to cancel some things if you're not feeling good tomorrow. And he's fine, but you don't need to make me feel bad about it. And I like had a self-check moment where I reminded myself that they are sick and they're little, and it's cute that they want me, and I can't just give up on that. You know what I mean? Like a little self-reminder. So I'm glad he was able to say something, but I do think one sick kid can cancel an entire day and remind you that what actually matters, right? In addition to all of this, there's quite a mental load with the kids. When they were little, it was hard because it was more physical hard, right? Like you had to keep them from sticking something in an outlet or running into the street, and you had to get them dressed, you had to help them learn how to use the bathroom. But even as they've gotten older, I've been feeling that my kids are in this lovely middle-age, that sweet spot. They're not quite teenagers and they're not quite toddlers. But at this point in my life, I'm realizing that there's so much juggle around who they are and what they want to do. The foods they like, they're very opinionated, the activities they want to do, which is awesome. We're in two houses. The mental load of do we have plates? Do we have our flax? Do we have our chair stuff? Do we have our water bottles filled? Is there a snack in between the theater school camp and before flag football practice? There's a lot of juggle, which is exhausting and it's tiring and it can be challenging. Obviously, being patient and getting through it, right? I think all parents struggle with that in some capacity. Doing your daytime work and then creating a life for them, which is the fun part, but it's also tiring, right? You're running, right? It's to practice, it's to make sure they're fed before practice, getting the dishes done before bedtime so you can have your lunchbox ready for the next morning. It's a constant juggle, and I don't think we talk about it enough how hard it is, how much coordination it takes to keep the machine running. I'm just being reflective on the moments, right? Some of these things are really hard, and I wouldn't change it for a second. I love that my kids are doing things. I think it's really fun, and I love seeing them do their thing on their own with the smile that they've earned. It's priceless, right? And obviously, we're fortunate enough that we can do all these things, and I feel lucky to be able to share it with them. It's not all bad, it's just sometimes hard. Parenting isn't about winning every moment, it's about staying in the room when it gets hard. Some days I'm guiding them, some days we're surviving together. Some days there's hugs, and some days it's snuggles. We've been watching Survivor, the new era, which has been fun because the kids are old enough and we are all in. It's a high fives. It's the hey mom, do you want to play a board game moment? The dinner I made that they liked. Those are wins. The inside jokes, finding out who they are, right? I look at my kids and I'm like, man, you're so cool. This is so fun to be a part of your life and watch it from a distance. I'm just so proud of them. And I don't think we have to pretend it's easy. I don't think we have to say it's easy, but it's also beautiful, right? It's such a process. As a kid, when my parents were grinding and I had no idea how hard they were working and all the things they were providing for me, but now I'm watching it from the other side and I adore my children. But man, it is hard, and I don't think people talk about it enough. There are moments where you're just like, what? I am tired too. I want to go to bed, and it's not always that easy. And to be honest, like, I know I'm not perfect, but I'm just doing my best to show up and be present. Wishing you guys all the best. It can be hard and it can be wonderful. Just keep trying, just keep showing up. If anyone feels like this resonated with them, feel free to share. Find my comments, let me know your thoughts. I'd love to hear from you. If something in this episode resonated, share it with someone who might need it too. And wherever you are in your journey, remember you don't have to have everything figured out to keep moving forward. I'll see you in the next episode.