I'm 41 And What $100K Debt Taught Me About Discipline

In this raw segment, I get vulnerable, sharing personal stories that highlight overcoming life challenges, specifically tackling significant credit card debt. This discussion touches on self improvement and how to get out of debt, leading to personal growth. It's about building resilience and finding financial advice to navigate life's complexities. 💪

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Transcript

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I'm an example of hardship of being at the point where I was so far in debt,$100,000 in debt with my credit cards maxed and no money in the bank. And I've done that a couple of times because I won't give up. I always come back.

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The Tony Bova show, built by pain, designed for freedom.

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I told you that I was gonna be super raw and authentic on here, where I get to share my experience of where I came from, like the darkest parts of my life, and how I was able to shift those into an experience where I'm so grateful to have experienced the hardest parts of my life where I'm in one right now. I'm in one of the most difficult times of my life where I'm transitioning into another level of personal growth, development, skill. And one of the two things I want to talk about very specifically is when you're on the brink of breakthrough. When you're in the brink of being able to step into your dreams in a way that they actually start to show up in the reality of your life. And the second thing is I want to talk about that concept of proximity as power. You know, when I was going through my divorce, you know, about eight years ago, when I was$100,000 in debt from that divorce, when I was struggling to be able to see my kids, not being able to hold boundaries, not really sure how I was going to relate to the women that were in my life that had kids with two different women, and having to figure out how do I relate in a way where I still get to show up fully as their father, keep them safe, and also not completely lose myself in the process. And I did uh many times actually over the last seven, eight years. My journey has been decisions I've made when I was in my adult life that drew me into really dark spaces. And although I could talk about my childhood and the things that did show up, it is also really reflective of how these decisions unconsciously showed up in my life and how I started to change that, how I flipped it, and how I changed the story on how I saw it. And, you know, it was when I spent several thousand dollars at that this Tony Robbins event that everything really shifted my perspective atom victim mindset. But every time you're reaching to the point of your goals, every time you're reaching to the point of breaking through to the next level of feeling the experience of whether it's money, whether it's a relationship, whether it's physical fitness or health or whatever it is, there is always a test that shows up. And this test feels as though God, universe, creator, whoever it is you feel you feel connected to as a higher source, is testing to see if you're actually ready for it. And if you can go through the uncomfortability of what it takes to shed the layers of becoming the next great version of yourself. So when you're so close to actually hitting it there, that's where you get to hear these beautiful understog underdog stories. Where they show up and you're like, man, I wish I want to be like that because I know what's possible because this person did it. You're closer than you think. You're closer to being able to fully experience that because the only thing that's different about what's happening for you in that particular situation is you're not holding out long enough. You know, one of my core values is never concede. The reason that that value exists is because I know I can't fail if I continue forward. I might be messy, I might screw it up, I might fall flat on my face. As I've said in many other episodes, I'm really enjoying this raw piece, by the way. I'm really excited to be able to show the imperfections of my conversation or my stories, and then also how I'm getting better in the process. And some of the episodes will be edited, and some of them will be more raw content, and we'll have guests that come on. But one of the things is when I shifted my story and I started to hear these timeless truths around proximity is power, where focus goes, energy flows. It's all about the story. Change your story, change your life. And how true those have become in my life as I've been patient, waiting, planning, executing, and then failing and not seeing failure as this thing of ending, but rather failure being a lesson of what do I get to learn differently? Because when we when we see failure as the fear of doing it again wrong, then we lose out on the opportunity to be able to learn the lesson that God gave us in that process. And as I get myself around other people, you know, proximity is power, as I get myself around people that are at a higher level than I am. It humbles me so greatly because I appreciate not only how humble they are and how difficult it was that for them to actually get to where they are, but people that you idol, like I've been coming in contact, the people that I've been able to receive from Danny Morel, Bed Rose Killian, Sidney Gordon, uh I'm meeting high-level guys like Tyler Gray, uh Cody Alford, um Ray Cash, uh Jason Redmond, these incredible human beings, and all being very successful in their lives, all very driven men, all very capable men. And the humility I get to experience from them and how incredible it is to see how everyone is so human, and that is possible for everybody. And then as we show up and as we reflect the story, the energy, the frequency of where we've grown into, that they start to show up differently for us than they would for normal for anyone else. Someone that's maybe average, somebody that complains, somebody that uh gossips or wants to complain about the fact that that didn't work out. Like I don't believe in luck. I believe in your ability to overcome challenge and that you can't fail and you can create luck, like create your own luck, create your life that is powerful and meaningful and has impact, and that you're so close to a brink. That if you're in that space right now, maybe you're struggling with divorce, maybe you're struggling with a toxic relationship, maybe you feel completely disrespected, frustrated, maybe she criticizes you, and you show up a hundred percent where you give, give, give, and you want to serve and you want her to be happy, and you want to you want to be able to foster this deep connection with her of intimacy and sexuality and a life that you're building together. And it feels like every little thing that you're doing feels as though you're not doing enough. You're on the brink. Maybe you don't know what you don't know. Maybe you need a different perspective. Maybe the story behind it is teaching you a lesson. And these are the guys that I work with, growth-minded guys, the risk takers, ones that have large capacities. These are the guys that show up and they want to know where it is they can adjust, pivot, change so that they can get to the next level, where they can feel more connected to their women, where they feel that they can be more connected to the team that they've built and show up for their team and serve them and elevate them in their lives so that they can continue on a mission that is more meaningful and packful than just living an ordinary life. I feel incredibly grateful to be surrounded by such high-level people. Where, if you had asked me 10 years ago in the darkest parts of my divorce, uh, where I wanted to unalive myself or kill myself or not be here any longer, however you want to frame it, I was I was there. I was hurting, and I'm hurting right now, but the difference that I'm using today versus 10 years ago is it's fueling me. Like I we need to normalize guys being able to cry. I forced myself to cry last night because it was so important for me to experience the pain that I was going through and the challenges that I'm facing building and scaling a business where I have to meet the uncomfortable situations and lead and find and fix problems that I meet that differently. And I know that there's energy that's stuck inside of me, and I I went and I cried. And it was an incredible experience. I feel so much better today because of it. And it doesn't have to be a judgment, it doesn't have to be looked upon as something negative that a man should never do that. There's just safe ways to do these things. There's ways to frame these things so that you're not exposing your relationship in a way that feels as though you're causing disconnection, where it feels as though you're feeling you're disconnected from yourself, where you're unable to continue to improve with consistency and getting better in your life. The saddest thing that you can experience is the belief that you can't overcome it, that there's no hope, and that this is just how life is. That is a perspective, that is a subconscious belief, and it is limiting you from the access of abundance and freedom, respect, and discipline that I know you so deeply want. I'm an example of hardship, of being at the point where I was so far in debt, hundreds, a hundred thousand dollars in debt with my credit cards maxed and no money in the bank. And I've done that a couple of times because I won't give up. I always come back. And every time I come back, I realize okay, I have the ability to overcome this. I'm building out my capacity, I'm getting stronger, I can handle more, I can actually have more difficult and comfortable conversations in a way that actually makes it feel safe for people to experience me. Lead them, teach them, share with them, help them experience healing, repair, connection. This is my message for you. You're on the brink of breakthrough, and proximity is definitely power. I get to experience that firsthand for myself because I'm so utterly grateful for what has come into my life and what I've been allowed to be open to and receive. And I wish that for you. I wish that you get to experience this as well. If you're finding this super valuable, please hit that subscribe button. I'm gonna continue to unravel my darkest moments. And I have great stories that are gonna come uh as time goes on that I love to utilize as lessons. And I promise you you will get tremendous amounts of value out of it. Thank you very much.