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The Tony Bova Show
The Tony Bova Show is where ambitious men come to get honest about discipline, meaning, purpose, and what it takes to build a life that actually matters. These are real, unfiltered conversations about leveling up, cutting through the noise, and becoming the strongest, most impactful version of yourself. If you’re a high-performer who’s tired of feeling stuck, distracted, or under-built, this is the place you come to reconnect with who you are and who the hell you’re meant to become.
The Tony Bova Show
You're Not Selfish, You're Just Protecting Yourself
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In this powerful episode of The Tony Bova Show, we dive deep into the concept of personal development and the importance of self care. Discover why being selfish can be a crucial step in setting healthy emotional boundaries. Learn practical strategies on how to say no, fostering better mental health and preventing feelings of being betrayed.
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It's okay to be selfish. It's okay for you to be, you know what? I don't need to give to this person. And I don't know if you've ever been permission given permission like that before, but you have full permission to not have to give to every single person. You do not have to say yes to everyone.
SPEAKER_00The Tony Bova show, built by pain, designed for freedom.
SPEAKER_01Do you feel like people are constantly betraying you, that people kind of come and go, and all of a sudden it feels like you're abandoned, you're at a loss, and you're not sure why that's happening. Well, then this episode is going to be for you. I'm going to share with you a personal story of mine where I went through a a season where friends were leaving and they were betraying me and what I did in that process to be able to overcome that. But the first thing I want to start out with is that people come and go. And that you have to be okay with that. And the faster that you're okay with that, the faster the people that are meant for you in your life are going to come into your life. Now, when I go back about six years, and this was when I was uh in the middle of my divorce, I had just become a trooper, and I had left my wife, and I was leaning on a couple different friends that I thought were trustworthy at the time. I would talk to them on a daily basis, I would share what was going on for me. I was actually extremely vulnerable with them, and I thought they were safe until about six to 10 months later, I started to find out that I was pushing these people away and that they were actually talking behind my back and sharing information with people I did not want them to share information with. And it wasn't the safe container that I thought it was in that process. And what I did was interesting, I tested one of them is I I decided not to text him any longer to see if he was going to actually call me or text me back. And I'll I'll let you know this right now. I still have not heard from that friend. The moment I decided to let go of make wanting to make sure that he was in my life was the moment that everything changed because I started to let go of everybody that wasn't actually for me. Now, if you're new to this channel, please hit that subscribe button. And I'm going to be dropping tremendous valuable information about relationships, about self-mastery, about personal development, and also business and uh becoming the greatest version of yourself. Now, there's three things I want to talk to you about in terms of how you do this and when how you end betrayal and how you end people from uh feeling like they're abandoning you all the time. The first thing that you need to do is you need to recognize the resistance. And it's not a bad thing, it's just uncomfortable. Being able to choose the fact that that person might not be for you in that process and leaning into the resistance and the uncomfortability is going to be the thing that helps you get past it. Because when you start to recognize it's not going to kill you, then it starts to feel safer and then you start to regulate again. You don't need a lot of people in your life. This is the second one, to be close to you. You only need a few people. Honestly, if you have too many people in your life, it actually is concerning because you might be scattering your energy everywhere. I actually only have a few very close friends that I'm willing to share what's actually happening in my life to the fullest capacity because not everybody's earned that place. So if they haven't earned it, that doesn't necessarily mean that you trust them. And now the third thing, and probably the most important piece for you, is that the more you trust yourself, the less you will be betrayed. So as you begin to trust yourself more and more over time, you will not need as many people in your life to feel fulfilled. There are actually probably only a few very key relationships that are going to help you get to that great version of yourself or make you feel fulfilled or actually be able to uh live a life that feels fully connected and full of joy. So you don't need a lot of people, and eliminating people is probably going to be one of the most difficult things for you, but it's actually going to be one of the most beneficial things for you. Because as you eliminate people and as you hold your ground and start to examine and observe others or how they're showing up and adding value into your life, the way that you add into theirs, you'll find that they probably aren't showing that way and then probably actually taking more from you than you realize. It's okay to be selfish. It's okay for you to be, you know what, I don't need to give to this person. And I don't know if you've ever been permission given permission like that before, but you have full permission to not have to give to every single person. You do not have to say yes to everyone. Actually, if you start to say no more, you're gonna start to see your life change in a very drastically different way. So you no longer need permission and you need to continue to lean into the resistance. And you also just don't need that many people. If you continue to do that, I can almost guarantee that your life is gonna completely change. You're gonna be able to have a relationship that's actually really fulfilling. You're actually going to be able to call in more money into your life and elevate your vibrational frequency so that you can start to live a life that you know is possible. But the only way to do that is to step into the discomfort and resistance of it. So if this was helpful for you by any means whatsoever, please hit that subscribe button. And I want to remind you that greatness requires defiance. Thank you so much for listening. Peace.