Welcome to Midlife: Where AI Is Your Therapist & Readers Live in Every Room

Welcome to Midlife... Where AI Is Your Therapist and Readers Live in Every Room

When did readers end up in every room... and why does ChatGPT suddenly know more about your life than your best friend?

If you've found yourself collecting magnesium, heating pads, wellness gadgets, and reading glasses you still can't find... welcome to midlife.

Hilary and Sada share the hilarious, relatable realities of getting older—from AI and beauty routines to all the things we swore we'd never do after 40.

🎧 Press play if you've ever looked around and thought, "How did this become my life?"

Keywords: midlife, women over 40, ChatGPT, AI, readers, magnesium, wellness, menopause, aging, midlife humor

🔗 Connect With Us

🎙 Podcast: @wtf.lifeismessy
💛 Hilary: @its.hilarybrophy
💛 Sada: @simplysadajames

If you’re moving through grief, a midlife shift, healing, or simply feeling stuck in the in-between, Sada offers RISE — an intimate 8-week mentorship experience designed to help women feel supported, understood, connected, and less alone. It’s a space for anyone craving real community, honest conversation, clarity, and a softer landing place through life’s harder seasons. 

We love you for being here. Subscribe, share, and stay messy with us. 💛

⚠️ Disclaimer

This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views shared are based on personal experience and do not constitute medical, legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional regarding your individual situation. Guest opinions are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or this podcast. Any products mentioned are not sponsored unless explicitly stated.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

This is What the F Just Happened.

SPEAKER_01 0:06

The podcast that proves life is messy, midlife is so wild, and laughter is definitely non-negotiable.

SPEAKER_00 0:13

So grab a cocktail or a mocktail or your favorite emotionally supportive snack and let's get into it.

SPEAKER_01 0:26

Hi you guys, welcome back.

SPEAKER_02 0:30

Hello!

SPEAKER_01 0:31

Um, okay, so welcome back to um uh WTF, our amazing podcast.

SPEAKER_02 0:37

Today we are talking about um well, I guess we're gonna just talk about midlife. So we're we're really saying like, welcome to midlife. Um It's wild. It's wild. We say it's not it's weird. It's so weird. Midlife is weird. We're gonna talk about all things like mouth tape, heating pads, readers, how we have a million everywhere, uh compression socks. Well, you have a million everywhere because we can never remember where they are. Yeah, but like these private life, I like love. These I don't have everywhere. Those are beautiful. Yeah, but I do have cheapies everywhere.

SPEAKER_00 1:15

But it's because we can't remember anything.

SPEAKER_02 1:17

It's because you walk into a room or you walk out of a room and you're like, what the fuck? Or like on your head, and then why am I? Yes, like why? Okay, so that's what we're talking about today.

SPEAKER_01 1:26

We're talking about some of the funny things that we're doing in midlife, the things we're buying in midlife, the things that are trendy, that are kind of funny.

SPEAKER_02 1:35

Um things we never thought we would use in midlife, things we never thought we'd use in midlife, and everything in between. So we just thought we'd because we were having this conversation the other day, it was we were just talking about some things, and I was like, we need to talk about these funny things that we're doing in midlife.

SPEAKER_01 1:53

The things, like I said, we're buying and all of that.

SPEAKER_02 1:55

So I just literally moved and I think I just popped my knee off. Do you need to take a break? No, I'm just like again, stretch. No, I'm good. But it was like I just literally was bending my knee, and it's like I don't even want to have knee problems. Oh my gosh. But at 56, obviously now I do because that totally just hurt. Oh my gosh. But before we actually start, because I always like to like go somewhere else before we dive into the conversation. Two things. One, Cabo Verde is in the World Cup. Very small nation. Like I never even I don't even know what that is. They go by Cape Verde and also Cabo Verde. Where is Cabo Verde? I want to say it's um it's off, I want to say the like west, it's West Africa. Okay. And I want to say it's off, like it's close, it's like 300 or 400 miles away from maybe Senegal. Okay. So African tiny nation in the World Cup. Total underdogs, totally cheering for them. I only bring this up because we have a listener. One of our like 43 countries is a listener from Cabo Verde. So if you are listening from Cabo Verde, I am so excited for you. I am rooting for Cabo Verde to go all the way. I mean it's this little tiny nation that has just like encaptured all the hearts of people who are watching the World Cup. Okay, so yeah, if you're listening like down the road and World Cup is over, yes, we are flashed back. 2026 and it is World Cup freaking frenzy. Which in America, because soccer is not our most, I think it will be after this. Yeah. I'll definitely. Because we're hosting, right. They're in and I think it's also hosted in Canada and Mexico. Yeah. But we're the main host. It's a fever. It is super fun. It's so much fun to watch. And Chris was a huge, his family, like they are huge soccer fans. Were they? So are they totally watching? Oh my gosh. I'm sure that they like would wake up at whatever, two in the morning to watch whatever game. Well, I mean, it's here, it's mostly in the US. Right. But um, but yes, they are. They would wake up at four o'clock in the morning to watch whatever. And the fans are so much fun to watch.

SPEAKER_01 4:09

Well, and players who are experiencing like the USA for the first time.

SPEAKER_02 4:14

All of all the people all the fans who have come to the US And going to like Texas and eating barbecue and going to Bucky. Oh god, Walmart and Walmart. They can't believe, which is broke.

SPEAKER_01 4:24

I mean, it's just America in general because we have an overload of food and things, but like they show the players like going in and they can't believe that there's like a gallon of Hidden Valley Ranch. Right. And they're like they're laughing.

SPEAKER_02 4:38

They're like, this is I think one player took like three things home of Hidden Valley. Because they don't have ranch. Because they don't have ranch. So yeah, youngest, like when my youngest daughter said she can actually never go live like in Europe because they don't have ranch.

unknown 4:52

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 4:54

They actually just had a thing, and we were dying, is because ranch um Hidden Valley was paying someone.

SPEAKER_00 5:01

I don't have the specifics, but there was an actual job to basically take Hidden Valley abroad. That's hysteria. And we were dying.

SPEAKER_02 5:09

We're like, this job. This should be her job. She should apply for this. That's hysterical. Yes, it was so funny. Because I'm like, how can you not live without I mean Hidden Valley? So important. Ranch on everything is. I don't know. Okay, so that that's the first thing I want to talk about before we get into this. The second thing, all you fans, and I've heard from a few of you who are my bravos and know about the housewives, reach out. We will dish. There is one in particular, Jessica. Wait, you're a fan. You're a fan of the housewives. We can talk. No, uh Summerhouse. Oh Jessie, my sister, she's some she wanted you to be her mom because housewives people. I just started watching around Housewives of Rhode Island, which I know is now at reunion time. Yeah. Dead. I know. Literally dead. Why didn't I say to you day when you walked up? Um, the what was her line? Something summer. Bitches love summer. Bitches love summer. Bitches love summer. So if you're watching from Housewives, Rhode Island, obsessed with you. Literally obsessed. So you want to know what I'm watching? I am on season four of Hoteland, which ended like five years ago.

SPEAKER_01 6:23

I'm re-watching it. My sister and I are rewatching it. I don't know if I've ever watched Home. Oh, it's so good. I mean, it's yeah, with Claire Danes. I mean, it's not reality television. Well, I mean, no, it's not reality, but that's good.

SPEAKER_02 6:34

I'm I'm yeah. Anyone wants to talk to me about so house Jessica Summerhouse? Go on me. I got you. That's sister. DM. Anyone wants to talk about housewives? The only one I don't watch is your Hill is your gal. I like Below Deck. Oh, I love Below Deck. We can totally talk about Below Deck. I love Below Deck. The L Sharting Captain. Oh, the doll. He's so cute. So and yeah, and by the way, my Salt Lake City Housewives, Heather, also obsessed with you. Love you so much. Heather Gay, they were on. That was the season. They were on. Oh, they were on. Yeah, they did the crossover. Oh, okay. Yeah. Because they're friends, I guess. Her and the captain. Friends. And is that different from the family that we saw in La Quinta who were on the boat? That is different from the family. The family we saw in La Quinta just happened to be on an episode. Okay, right, you're right. And I don't know if that was the same captain or that was a different captain. They were just a low-key family who came on. I don't think they were. I mean, they were like they were just a rich family. They're just rich family. And I love Captain Sandy. And they were super nice. Captain Sandy. Captain Sandy's the best. I love her. Okay, sorry. So going back to today's episode of being weird in midlife. So, yes. It's having conversations like that that are critically important. Yeah. And before we even started, we also had like an hour-long conversation about our lives before we even started. Well, we've catch up. Yeah. Yeah. But we see what we talk about today. We still have to catch up. Okay, here's just another sidebar. We were I was talking to Hillary the other day about um, and I've talked to my girlfriend Kristen about this too.

SPEAKER_01 8:07

It I think when you're in midlife, and maybe other people who aren't in their 40s and 50s also do this. But do you guys have conversations that are completely separate conversations? So I have a conversation like a thread going with Hillary, like on our Instagram conversations, because we'll send memes to each other. So there's a conversation actually happening having to do with things maybe more meme related that we pick up and continue that conversation. And then we also have our normal conversations plus our text messages on our iPhones that are completely separate conversations and we don't talk about the conversations that we're having on Instagram because those are for Instagram, but we have our conversations totally separate on our phones.

SPEAKER_02 8:53

Do you want to do that? They can be happening at the same time. Yeah, so literally like if we have a pause or she's like, I don't know, making dinner. Well, you don't make dinner, but like I've made dinner. If you're like whatever in the kitchen, doing something, meeting, probably. You can do investigating too. Yeah. I'll be actually eating.

SPEAKER_01 9:09

She's like, if there was a lull in our conversation and I'm back on Instagram, I'll still continue that conversation, but then we'll still be text messages.

SPEAKER_02 9:17

But we don't cross my um we don't cross the conversations. No, and I think that's how we keep it very linear. Yeah. It is very right. We don't want to mix them up. It's just Kristen and I do the same things.

SPEAKER_01 9:27

Although Kristen and I might send each other memes that are have to do with our conversations that are happening on our phones. But that's funny. But we know it does, but we don't cross the conversations anyway. Yes. I was just wondering if anyone else is doing that because that's funny. It's a lot to like keep up with conversations, but they've separated from it.

SPEAKER_02 9:45

Especially when we have them on multiple threads. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah. Okay. So the first thing we're going to talk about, I'm going to ask Hillary and she'll ask me is what is one thing that you use now that your 30-year-old self would absolutely make fun of? AI. A hundred percent. And yeah, we talked a little bit about this before because one, we didn't necessarily know it was going to evolve this fast. And we didn't really even know that it would exist when we were in our 20s or 30s. No. I mean, I remember artificial intelligence was like watching E.T. the World Wide Web. Yeah. As we used to call it, ALBW. Right. The dialogue. Yeah. I mean, that was, I was married.

SPEAKER_00 10:32

Um, this is probably when I was 24, 25. I remember being in the marina with in San Francisco, connecting to my computer, waiting for those dial-up, but right, the dial-up, then you're I mean, just getting information was crazy. Now, flesh forward at 56.

SPEAKER_02 10:50

My emotional support animal. Wait, take a really quick pause. I just want to know if your sister, when you guys did have, we all had dial-up at home, because my sister did this to me and I also did it to her. Um, if she was like ever mad at you, would she like walk by and like press the phone thing down so it would like hang up your internet?

SPEAKER_01 11:08

Yeah, you know, stop.

SPEAKER_02 11:09

No, we didn't we didn't live together by that point. Oh, okay. This was we were both in the marina. Okay, Jen was in law school, she's a lawyer, and no, she would Jennifer also, my sister, is lovely. So we said my sister is the nice Well, I hung up on my sister's internet conversation many times on Show. Jennifer would never do that. However, I would do that to Jennifer probably because I was a pain in the ass. But my sister is like, she's fantastic. So no, she wouldn't never do that. But yeah, I mean, AI. I would never have envisioned. Very bizarre. Now I've got like two AI besties because I know Chippy from chat, and I've just started talking to Claude, and I like to sort of see does one versus the other have different information?

SPEAKER_00 11:54

What's interesting is they sometimes like pull some stuff from Chippy.

SPEAKER_02 11:58

They won't pat upon each other though. But I don't know. And Claude will say, That's fantastic. Like, where did you design that? No, chat did, or whatever it is I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_00 12:09

No, but I have to say, I don't I don't think I've actually pitted them against each other.

SPEAKER_02 12:13

Well, I think I can I kind of I sent I sent Claude something the other day that I had created in Chat GPT and I said, just so you know, this is coming from ChatGPT, your and I put your your nemesis. Oh and then it responded with um ha ha ha, Seta, that's funny, but we don't pit each other against you. We're oh for different things. And I was like, oh, that's so human like that I love it. Yeah. So I would say that's my biggest is I I would not have thought that my entire life cycle revolves around artificial intelligence. I there is nothing in my do in my day. I can't think of anything that I do that I don't cross-check over. So for all of you people who are all like the AI and the water, and I I hear you like we hate it. Like, yeah, they hate it. It's just not for like so many other reasons. I I get it. I don't care. No, I mean I get it. It's a game changer for me. It's been a huge help at my work, but it's also been a hindrance because there's been layoffs. Oh. Because of AI. Yeah, and that's that's the flip side. Yeah, absolutely. That's true. I use it of I mean, I can, I mean, who can tell you like the right underwear to buy and also be your therapist? I mean, that is a well-heared level-rounded Well, and do you tell it to not be an echo chamber cheese when you're using it? Because you know, it is an echo chamber. Absolutely. And I'll sort of say I need and I'll actually when I'm especially when I'm researching like articles. Wait, and then when it does give you the answer that you maybe don't want to hear, does it get like you get a little pissed off? Oh, we have gotten I I told you we've gone down to blows. You guys have had arguments. Yes, we have. I've actually almost gone to blows with my computer. Like, what am I gonna do? Fight the screen. Uh-huh. But I will. I'm like, I will, I will fight you. Well, and you'll never win because they're smarter. Oh, well, I mean well, anyone's smarter. No, but I mean I heard the graduated in high school. Is no, we definitely have gone to where we've definitely had disagreements, and then I realized, okay, I'm fighting with myself basically, which is stupid. But I will say, Jewitt, I need you to answer this question from a point of neutrality, yeah, and just give me the basics. I don't want any type of I don't want any type of opinion on this. I'm just looking for facts, and it will absolutely do that. Or I'll say, I'm not looking for you to agree with me. I need to push me, I need, you know, be brutally honest. I need pushback on this. Show me the other side of this, and it will. So, and then it's like, you're not right in that conversation with Sean. You're like, we'll switch. I'm like, what do you mean? I'm always right. What are you what are you talking about? Sean is wrong. Sean is wrong all the time. I am right. No, I have to say, is it there have been some very valid points of where I say, okay, that's actually correct. And I'm sorry, Sean. Those are new words for me. I'm sorry. I've been growing and growing as a person. But no, I would say that is the nice one. So what's yours? I was yeah, I was trying to think, like I when I had originally thought about this, I was thinking, oh, it has to be that I take screenshots of the bot back of pill bottles, like or a like an Advil or a menu, like a menu if like the like if I forget my readers. I don't know that my 30-year-old self would think.

SPEAKER_01 15:36

Yeah, why is it so small? Well, because I I don't know. I I'm like, I don't even know how to take this medication. I can't even read how I'm supposed to take it. So I literally have to take a screenshot of like the back of I don't know, even if it's like Advil PM. I'm you know, I mean, I know how many I could take anything like the shinyest little freaking like a pepsit or whatever. I don't know how many I'm supposed to take. So I yeah, so tiny. Take a screenshot, zoom it in. Um, you know, I I guess because I've always had like 2020 vision, my sister and I never worn glasses.

SPEAKER_02 16:09

Yes, that it's uh it's a hard pill to swallow that my eyes aren't how they used to be at all, which is so crazy. And I mean, most of my friends are older than me, so I watched the evolvement of everybody having readers and all and all of that. And now here I am. So I don't know. I don't know if that really pertains to my 30-year-old self. AI is a good one. Um, what about really quick before we switch? I never at 30 thought I'd be walking around with a blanky. So you so my Minky, Minky, you want to sponsor us? We both have that. But I think I have all three own. How many do we own amongst our friend groups? Oh, I mean, and only gift we give people filled into my California friend groups, and then they all give that out. So it's like at least a hundred minkeys have been purchased, sent, um, used. We have multiple we're minky influencers. Right. We really should be. Minky, reach out. So I will drag my Minky, not this one, this one's specific for the podcast room. I never envisioned as a child I had my blanky, which I loved. My girls had barefoot dreams, which they loved. I never thought as a 56-year-old, I would be A, taking them on vacation. We do. Oh, so my girlfriend is all in California.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

Both my girlfriend, I I I'll just say that, I mean, they don't care, but Kat and Kristen had separate suitcases for their minkeys and brought them as carry-ons because nothing they're big.

SPEAKER_02 17:37

They're huge and they're heavy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I drag it around. I take it, and my dog, one of our dogs, loves it to the point where we have crazy storms in Idaho. Other places in the country also have crazy storms. I actually used it the other night to wrap him as a thunder blanket because he was scared of all. And he loves my minky so much that if I'm anywhere on the bed and he I have to like make space for him, or I'll say, Come up on the couch. And so I I like wrapped him and then he would calm down because it's like soft and snugly. But I mean, as a 56-year-old, I actually think my world would revolve around going from my bedroom to the couch. Well, yeah. Or if I'm old, my minky goes with me everywhere. Oh, that's why I got an extra one. So I can have one in my bedroom. Yeah. Well, I have three, but I have one in my bedroom, one like is in Layla's room, and then the other one is downstairs on the couch. Yeah, there's so there's that one. I want them everywhere soft. Okay, so anyway, that's the other thing. Yeah, yeah. So I I suppose uh taking photos of labels or menus or things I can't read because I've never had to wear glasses.

SPEAKER_01 18:42

Never like ever had an eyesight problem is it's that's like a hard pill for me to swallow.

SPEAKER_00 18:47

I was thinking the other day, do I need to probably get Well, I need to go to the eye doctor now?

SPEAKER_02 18:50

Like, yes, but maybe it's time because I also I don't I never had eye problems either. I always had really great vision. And now the other night I was driving, I think I admitted this to the kids and you. I was like, I probably shouldn't be, I'd forgotten my glasses because mine is distance. Yeah. So at night things are just a little bit blurry. And I was like, everything's blurry for me. With driving, it's so dark in Idaho. I did not have my glasses in the car. I need to have a pair now in the car or both cars. And I was like, I maybe need to come get contacts. Like it actually just has in. Yeah. Because I don't need it for something close. Or maybe I did get a prescription and then you get two and you keep one in your car, so you always have them. Exactly. Yeah. I don't need it. That's the thing is yes, pillbotto, absolutely. I need to blow up. Yeah. But like I it's just distance for me. It's it's very fancy. And it never that never was. I was almost postal click. Yeah, it's a little bit of a length. Yeah. Um uh okay, so and we're just kind of chatting a little bit more about um okay, midlife purchases we never saw coming. So Well, magnesium. I mean, when did I ever talk about magnesium? It's talked about a lot, not just in midlife now. But uh whoever had a comrade, did you I never heard my parents talking about magnesium. Or the amount of protein we're supposed to eat. Yes. Protein, right. And hydration. And hi well, no, I had we never are you kidding, we're like we're like raisins when we were little.

SPEAKER_01 20:16

We never had any water. We drank from the hose. Our kids take these massive Stanley's or Awala's or uh what's that, you know?

SPEAKER_02 20:24

They have them full of water or hydroflasks everywhere we go since my kids were in school. Yes. And we I never had a I never I mean who you're right, you have like a cup on your hand. I always I never leave from a drinking count. Yes, but now it's like I guess I Oh you're saying now you have a count. No, I have, right? I to think I'm like going to the gym this morning. I'm like, I can't figure out my water. I can't possibly not go to the gym without my water bottle. Yeah. And I'm sure there's water everywhere at the time. And I'm also not even, I mean, what I'm doing is I wasn't even gonna sweat it. I didn't leave my water bottle. But I was like, oh, I can't possibly leave without my water bottle. I mean, that is the water bottle. Uh I do think it's so funny, like all over, and I'm totally right. They're making sure my kids' little, you know, water bottles were filled up and had them full every single day. They went to school, elementary, junior high, even in high school. Yes. Maddie's still like, or to this day, she still has her hydro flask and fills it up and will not go anywhere without it, which is great. Oh, yeah. When when the uh They're very hydrated children. Do you know Love Shock Fancy? Yeah, okay. The one the Stanley ones. Oh, yes. Okay, so when those were coming out, this was what, two, maybe Love Shock Fancy was doing that collection with Stanley. And they were doing that whatever it's all, the co-branding, and they were having their collaboration drop. Yeah. Literally, I mean, the stress level to get Ashley one was And then to get my kids. Oh my gosh. Yeah. So I think I bought like six of them because I needed to make sure that she had one because she was she is so obsessed with love checking. Yeah. And so to the point where we were laughing. Target's coming out with a cross collection. Oh, 26-year-old for kids, and she's with Love Shack Nancy? Yes, for like back to school. Oh my god. And ah, she's literally we're dying because she's like, I want to go back to school now because I want all this stuff for Love Shack Nancy. I'm running back and I want the Because we can't afford the um the actual like Layla, where she lives. Oh, it's yours, right? It's crazy. And it's you've got one and it's insane. But they're doing a cult, they're doing a collaboration with Target. It's amazing. Smart totally off in midlife, but it's funny. I was dying. I was like, you need to get a locker, 10-little locker for your desk at home. Uh-huh. And you can pretend and like that. Yeah, I need to take yourself back with all your love check fancy stuff. You only live once. Do whatever the hell you want. Understand. You know what I mean? Like we got magnesium. I mean, I never talked about supplements. Grow like magnesium. All the supplements. All the peptides. D2 and K3. Yeah. Or your iron. You can't take your iron without the vitamin C because it doesn't absorb. I've learned a lot. I've learned a lot. I know. I mean, what are those convers? These are conversations we have at restaurants with our friends. Yeah. Over dinner. Yeah. We're talking about vitamins and supplements and who's on what. That's because our brains work best at when we go to dinner at five. Well, because that's the best time to eat. And then we want to be in bed by 8 30, swallowing on our phones. That's another thing in midlife, is you want to be in bed by no later than not. I mean, I still, yeah, I want to have a good martini and a good meal out at a restaurant at five. Or maybe 4 50. Yeah. If they open like if they transition to dinner.

SPEAKER_01 23:37

I think my mom and the for sure my dad and and his wife go are they for sure and rally and go out later. I'm like, I want to go at five.

SPEAKER_02 23:46

Can they really? Yeah, they're like, they whoop it up. Whoop it up as in what time? They're just like they just like to go. They see bands play. They love to like go, you know, they hit the town. They hit the town. So that's the like uh they like to hit the channel. Don't you like hit the lull then? And we're like gonna come like swing back up again when we're like in our 70s? I think so. I think I think so. I thought it was only gonna okay. You why? Because well, we were very tired from first from raising kids. And now it's happened little, right? And now we're just getting our energy back. We're resting. Ah. Falling to dinner at five. We're like in the cocooning phase. We're cocoon like the old people. Yes, like oh, I love that movie. Okay, so we're cocooning. So then what you're saying is yeah, right, we're gonna crack open into butterflies. And we're gonna pin the town. We're gonna be bop in the town on our seven. Well, I mean, you better freaking catch up to me on age then because I'm gonna get there faster than you. Well, all right. Well, which does this happen around? Well, my dad's 74, I think. And they're totally going out and like listening to bands? Yeah, they just, yeah, they they have like a great friend group and they're young at heart and they just go for it. Damn. Mm-hmm. I mean, even my mom, she can like definitely like whoop it up. Like, she can maybe not like late. She's not like a late owl, but she's she goes a lot. I mean, I'm I told my car is only a year old and it only has 4,000 miles on it. I don't do much. I well, I mean, I'm with you. You're the same. I think so. Yeah, I think we need to look forward to our party era coming up here soon. Okay, so the good news is we don't have to feel guilty that we're in bed by 830. 830 because we're cocooning. Okay, I'm not in bed by 830. I am a little bit of a night owl. Nine. Maybe I go to bed, like go to sleep at 11. But I want to get into bed and get cozy. Well, I want to get into bed and get cozy, then I want to like see what's going on at Instagram. Yeah. And like see all the things that I don't need, that I just need. Like the the joys of midlife. Because if we were still raising kids, we wouldn't be able to do that. We'd be doing bathtime and putting kids to bed and reading and homework and all of that. Oh my god. God love you, people who are in that phase. That is if freaking exhausting. So I guess they can look forward to getting into their 40s, 50s, and going into the cocooning phase. And I can look forward to I guess going back to the whoop-a-up phase. I mean, yeah, I don't know if it but like so there's a chance I'm gonna be more fun. Well, you're already fun, but maybe you're gonna get more fun. I'm not really sure. I'm not enough fun, like we do wild things. I just we do wild things, but then I like to stop at 8 30. Well, yeah, that's why when we have Forgoulia Fridays, we are home, you know, by a a time at night where you go to bed. Yeah. But we do a lot of fun things while we're at your house at her. Yeah, like I try to do a cartwheel. Oh, you uh okay, people there's another part of midlife that's weird. And that you should really pay attention to the things that you're doing when you're having what were we drinking that day? I was drinking water. Oh, so you were sober. So that's I mean I was sober. I don't need to be drinking to do stupid things. I can just do stupid things on my electrolytes. So this is the part that's frustrating for me. Is in my mind I can envision doing a cartwheel. Because you were a gymnast. Yes. I could used to do them on the balance beam without falling off. I could on that little tiny, like very narrow, like 35 high off the ground. Well, probably more than 30. It's like 35 years ago. Like when I was like 10, no, I think I was a gymnast from let's say six to let's call it 15.

SPEAKER_00 27:22

So if I'm 56, we're talking a long fucking dynamic. But in my mind, I can still do a perfectly balanced cartwheel on grass.

SPEAKER_02 27:32

So we gave it a whirl. We gave it a whirl. And my shoulders. Were my legs straight? Your legs were anything straight-ish. Uh but you actually got over. My shoulders, because I need to have surgery because I'm ancient. I actually forgot about that. And I sort of forget about it, but they bug me all the time. Totally gave up and I fell on my head.

SPEAKER_00 27:53

And in my mind, I'm like, this is insane. I should be able to like, I should go run a marathon tomorrow. I should be able to climb a mountain.

SPEAKER_02 28:02

I should be able to do a cartwheel. But I can't. I'm like, how old am I? It's so frustrating. We're not old. It's not. But then I could. Yes, my shoulder was like, You should not be doing that. You like it is not strong enough. You and I don't even know after surgery. I mean, well, and we did multiple cartwheels. We did, but I mean, like, it was it was fun. It was not fun. I laid it on my head. I could have killed myself. I am glad nobody actually got that video. Thank God. But I mean, that's where I think in midlife, you're like, oh, I can totally still do this. So for all of you people who can still do that, very proud of you. I just, I am my shoulders are like, no, you can no longer do that stuff. And in my and that's frustrating. Like if I'm being honest, it's really frustrating. Well, yeah, because I think that like if you talk to any person in in midlife beyond even women in their 70s or 80s or even 90s, they will tell you they still think in their mind that they can't believe they're that age and that they still feel 30, 40, or 50. Like maybe not physically, but your mind is still the same if you have if you're with it. Sure. You know, that's gonna be frustrating. Yeah. Yeah, where your body like doesn't let you. I know I go to the gym and I'm like, I shall do all that stuff when I can't do it. Well, so it's just annoying. Yeah, and that goes to like our, you know, when things start to hurt for no reason. When you were talking about going to the gym, you you were talking about wanting to, you know, I'm not I used to do CrossFit. I feel like it jacked my shoulder up. So it's and that's not my jam like at all. But I think that when you were talking about like you look at somebody at the gym doing a box jump, right? Right. And your mind is saying, I can do that.

SPEAKER_01 29:47

I can do that.

SPEAKER_02 29:48

Because your mind truly thinks you can do that. But yes, when our bodies and you go to the gym, like you are there every single day. And if I box jump, I will fall into the machine. Well, I'll pee my pants. Crack my head up and I'll pee my pants. What I can do really well at the gym is go on the massage chairs. I do love or go into the whirlpool or out to the pool. Yeah, any of those things at the gym, I can execute perfectly. We do have a really new like bougie gym here that we just got that is across the US called Lifetime. So we all joined. I I'm taking a pause, but we we all joined and we have been enjoying that. Oh, the amenities are amazing. But you walk in there and you're like, these people are really fit and they're doing amazing things. This one woman today was pushing, she was doing that, whatever you call like the football players do where they push the plates. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't know what that's like machine. I never had sons. Like the sled thing. Yes, thank you. Yeah. They were doing sho and she was killing it, and the weight was heavy. Yeah. I was like, you go, girl. I mean, that's yeah, I'm gonna walk to you and go to the like you don't go for the classes and you do your weight, your weightlifting, and all of that. I'm so proud of you.

SPEAKER_00 30:56

I do weightlifting as in my heavy weights are eight pounds.

SPEAKER_02 31:00

Well, no, what about the class that you guys all take? Yes, I do. It's like my little bar is uh 15 pounds total. It's seven and a half on each side because of my shoulder like hit go above my shoulders. And so I'm literally like, it's sad. Okay, I got a uh I purchased a mini trampoline because there's a lot of research about like lymphatic drainage and jumping and doing like all this like Chinese type waking up your body by swinging your arms and jumping, which leads me into vibration plates. But I got the mini trampoline, and you know, I've been having like my whatever some issues in the pelvic region. And so I can't even use my mini trampoline because of like a pee or something. Yes, I like pee my pants. And so I need to figure so I think I need pelvic floor therapy. Don't we? But that was a whole new buzzword. It is, and I that yeah, so we'll talk about that because I don't know much about that. But don't we still have like the diapers from within our colonoscopies? So just wear one of those. Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:00

So uh Hill and I we wore diapers when we were doing our colonoscopy prep because I was nervous that it was we were going to just like have an accident when we were being dropped off.

SPEAKER_02 32:12

But you're right, I do have this, but I don't want to put a diaper on to jump on the trampoline to make my to do the midlife loop that a greenage that I'm supposed to be doing. I don't know, so I don't use it. Here's the thing about those diapers. I'm gonna tell you guys, like one of my shining light moments. I think I texted my kids with a picture. I was like, I was in medium. I was like, I don't even care. I'm a medium. Like I've never been in a medium in my life. The fact that I was a medium in diapers, I'm like, I will wear this every single day. This was a win. I think I even told me were they a medium or a small? They were a size, I they were maybe a small. I have never been in my entire life, and I was like, this is honestly. Oh, I'm a grande, whether I'm too many pounds light or not, I'm a grande through and through. I was like best, one of my highlighted my moments was like, I'm a small diaper first. So I'm just saying there's always that to look forward to. Oh my gosh. So you should just you should wiggle yourself into those small diapers and be like, just jump away. Oh my gosh. You can jump. Well, I think I I do need, yeah. So pelvic floor. Pelvic floor, what is that? Like just doing kegels? No, because it's supposed to like we're not supposed to apparently do kegels anymore. What? I guess there's a whole thing. There's a whole thing. It's supposed to like we're not supposed to do a bunch of them anymore. Pelvic floor therapy is like a different type of therapy to improve your pelvic floor muscles, which are not the kegels. Like okay. If anyone is out there is an expert on pelvic floor therapy and the exercises we're supposed to be doing, can you just try and set our core and I mean I'm gonna have to go see a professional, but I do know there's a lot on YouTube as well that my doctor told me I could, you know, she's rec How do you know if, for example, you're doing it properly and if you've achieved it? How do you know? Well, I think it would be like you stop teaurself. Yeah, or um your core is stronger, or you know, yeah, I definitely like I think that if you have lower back issues too, that's like could totally, and I do. That would be like that'd be like I need to work on my pelvic floral therapy, which also strengthens your core. Okay. So there's like a whole it's like a buzzword, but I I do believe in it, but kegles are supposed to like not be good for us anymore. I don't Oh my god, it's too much to remember. I know, it's too much to remember, which leads me back to vibration plates. I thought you were gonna say small adult diapers. Small adult, I mean I I have a security diapers and I'm in. Okay, so vibration plates are you using. We own one and I never use it. Yeah, okay, so I don't own one because uh do my mini trampoline is also supposed to like replicate a vibration plate. Oh, if you're just so like jumping, okay, hypolymphatic dry edge, and all of that in your body. You're supposed to get on that. But I do know it's a buzzword in midlife, and every it's all over my Instagram. Are and you know, there's women like testing out five of them on the Instagram and like saying which ones are best. How do they know? I don't I don't know. I just wondered if any of you out there have a vibration plate. Apparently they've been around for like 30 years, but now they're just I just can't imagine you stand on this board that vibrates. Like, what is it doing for you? I don't know. I mean, I can do we have one. And I've done it maybe twice for like two minutes. Well, and they have them at the gym too. Oh, yeah, they have a big one. Yeah, yeah. That's by the massage chair. So I just walk straight by the massage chair. Yeah, because I'm like, what do I don't care about? So I do it, yeah, I lay down. I think it's a buzz. It's another thing, it's another kind of like the red light mask. Oh, yeah. Or red light therapy in general, which I do know is very important for us. Right, which I for actually someone just said a person, an instructor used to be for blodies, is at lifetime, and she said to me, We're talking about my shoulder, because I we were in that class, and she was seeing I was obviously using like lightweights, and I said, Yeah, my shoulders, I need depth surgery, they're jacked up. And she's like, Oh, get a red light for your shoulder, which I did. I need to start actually using it. And she said, just put it on for like 10 minutes a day on both of your shoulders. But I've got the red light for my face.

SPEAKER_00 36:19

The challenge is with all my Instagram purchases or Amazon purchases or influencer purchases, yeah, is it's the reminding yourself, first of all, where they are in my house because I can remember absolutely nothing. So where did I put it? Yeah, where's the cord that goes to it? And did I charge it?

SPEAKER_02 36:41

And then at the very end of the day, it like takes me, it's like 40 steps to get ready for bed. Yes. Yeah. Sean brushes teeth in bed. Yeah. Three minutes. Yeah. Maybe two. Me, 25 minutes later, do my checklist of all the things. Are these midlife things or is things that you have always done for like a beauty a beauty regimen? No, because now there's like extra creams that have to go on, and there's my lash serum that has to go on. Okay. And then I got my oh, your lip scrub, your the lip thing. And then by the way, everyone, if you're in your 20s and 30s or you're raising children, be very aware you will have ortho later on. Oh yeah, we were talking about this. I we both each had, well, braces when I was little, and those were brutal because I had jacked teeth. And then Visaline later. And then as things kind of crumble apart, you know, you're or you don't either, well, one, I think like Maddie's retainer, her permanent retainer broke. Okay. So then, yep. You m your teeth move and you know you need to get something else. Yep. So that's what we're talking about. You're I'm on my third retainer of teeth straightening. It's insane. You walk in, you're like, oh, you look at all the 12-year-olds who are in there with their moms and like, hmm, joke's on you. You're gonna be back here in 30 years. So I did Invisalign. Yeah. We did permanent retainer. But you have to raise for a little. Had four teeth removed and then did bruises. Yes. So they don't remove teeth as much anymore in here. I know. They took four of mine out, which is why I have my wisdom teeth. Oh. Which is crazy. I do, because they keep straight and they've never caused problems. Oh, interesting. But then I had Invisalign during COVID. That was great. And then my permanent retainers caused like they shifted. And so now I'm just doing my top retainer again to get this little tiny tooth is moving out. The bottom, I've given up. I'm like, I don't care. They've shifted. I'm not going to use a lot. I'm just asking this as a general question to for people out there that um have, you know, things to say about whether we get Botox or we want a facelift or we want you are doing that for yourself because your front tooth bothered you, correct? It is, yeah, it's this one, it's right here. Yeah. And it's I would look at you and go, I'd like to see it. You have a beautiful smile popping out like the littlest tiny smidge. It's like, what in the hell?

SPEAKER_00 39:13

And right a third round of freaking it's like, why can't we just not? I get it. Teeth constantly shift. Yeah. Things continue to grow, things continue to fall, like my face, my chest. And my ass. Yeah, right. Like, okay, can we just like get to a point where we like advance in technology enough in medical just to be like, cool, you're good?

SPEAKER_02 39:35

We're gonna freeze you. Yeah, we're gonna freeze it all. Everything's gonna stay. Everything stays exactly where it is. Yeah. Boobs up, done, ass up, done. Stomach flat, done. Well, I never had that, so I'm not sure. Well, you should pick that for that. I need to pin for that. No. Yeah. That was maybe flat before children. But like tea, salt. Like, can we not make these advances? I don't know. I have my my girlfriend, Lindsay, and and her family. We all went to the same ortho when we were little in our hometown. And she has well, I know to this day, she still wears her retainer, and so do her kids, and so does her husband. And they all have there, they should be like on a billboard perfect with her, I mean, absolutely perfect teeth. They've never had any like movement done. And I think it was because she was a huge advocate for and I did this too with my kids. Like they were never not allowed to wear their retainer. It's only recently that either the retainer broke, yep, and they weren't or like moved, they weren't quick enough. And I think their teeth are like fine, but yeah, they're not, they've all moved. She made them wear their stuff, and they still, I think it's such a habit that they probably still do to this day, and they have beautiful, straight, white, gorgeous teeth. So maybe that's his. I was not consistent with either moving forward. Yeah, no, it's an either. Okay, so if you're in if you're in ortho now, don't stop. Just wear it there for an earlier. Yeah, get in permanent. Yeah. If it breaks, go get it.

SPEAKER_00 41:00

The challenges on my permanent was it actually twisted behind, and I wouldn't have known that. I can't see up into the roof of the tooth. But that's why he says it twisted.

SPEAKER_02 41:11

I must have eaten something and it twisted. Oh, interesting. And it started to push this tooth out. That's why I'm having the little pink in it or something. It pinked. I was like, oh, how am I gonna know that? Yeah. So I guess that means you have to go back probably like once a year or something and get looked at, which I didn't do. I thought it's cool, it's permanent, I'm just done. It's just gonna hold my teeth there. Uh anyway, so good luck to all you people because you're gonna be. Yeah, because it's uh it's a wild ride with with anybody's teeth. Lifetime thing. Yeah, like my sister. I mean, her my nephew, she has three teenage boys and they're all getting their ortho done. That's I paid for three girls. I was single. Yes. I had three kids because I had no financial help from my ex. Yeah. I had three kids like to put through ortho.

SPEAKER_01 41:52

I know.

SPEAKER_02 41:53

And now that's not they aid to probably go back and get their like teeth again, their bottom teeth have moved. Yeah. Or retainers broke, or one of them said the dog ate it. Like, I supposedly or they'd move and come back. Like it's yeah, it's just one of those like craziness things of life that you get so busy and you kind of just like let it fall by the wayside. Yeah, and I'm like, guess what? I paid for it. You're on your own.

SPEAKER_01 42:15

And in all of life, we're absolutely blessed to be able to have races one time and visaline the next time, and you know, do whatever. There's plenty of people that the parents didn't even ever do ortho for their kids.

SPEAKER_02 42:28

Yeah, I can kind of go back and think about people to this day that I knew never could get races or never had orthodonta. It's expensive. Yeah, it's wild. Yeah, it's like a freaking carbon. It's wild. So thanks, parents, for putting me through and put myself through a couple more times. And mine, sorry, kids, I put you through once, you're on your own. Exactly. Well, yeah, exactly. You are on your own. Exactly. Yeah. Although we have two of them are still, of course, on our medical, and we have really good medical. I told them you like for dental, you need to get back in there and do it ASAP because you're gonna age out or you're gonna be on your own. Oh my gosh. And we have really good stuff right now. Yeah, where they cover almost all of it. Right. Or they can get dollars. Yes. Or invisible, right? Well, I think invisible's like five, but yeah, I was like, get in there. So I know okay, so uh midlife beauty confessions. Um, what are some of the things that you swore maybe when you were younger that you were like, I am never gonna do that? Okay, I have this one. Magnifying mirror by grandma, uh-huh, who I did not like. Toule side note. Doesn't really matter. Hope she's doing really well wherever she is. Is she dead? Thankfully, yes. Yes, not Charlie. She is dead, and I'm super happy about it because loath. I'm happy my she was just like she wasn't a whole. My mom's parents were dead. Right? I'm like, I didn't know my grandfathers. They died when I was little. Yeah, my mom's dad was like, sounds terrible. She was half horrible. She was horrible. My grandparents were terrible. My mom's parents terrible, terrible. They were like not good human mates. Yeah. But she used to a do a We don't just wish people are dead, just so you know on the show.

SPEAKER_01 44:13

I mean.

SPEAKER_02 44:14

But when you have like Chris Dyed her in front of me, you kind of just talk about death as it's not that big, not a big thing. It's all gonna happen. Unfortunately, no one's getting out of here alive. Piece of cheese. Um yeah, but no, she is she is the person, and this is gonna sound absolutely horrible, but I've already said this to everybody. If I get up there and I am greeted by her, and that bitch is waiting for me, God and I are going to blows. Like, I actually my my email bestie, text bestie on the other side of the country. Yeah, I actually, we were joking about this. I was like, if I see her, like there better be a list of people that you check off and say, yes, yes, fuck no.

SPEAKER_00 44:58

Uh-huh. Like, I'm not kidding. I get up there and she is anywhere in my spiritual realm and I have to do forever with her, I am going to blow it.

SPEAKER_02 45:07

You're gonna kick her off a cloud. I I'll just go, I guess I'll go down. Kick her off a cloud. I'm like, you won't, I am not spending eternity with you. You were absolutely horrific in this life, and I am not going there again.

SPEAKER_00 45:19

She used to do awful. She was awful. I mean, I'm talking like she was just a mean, mean person.

SPEAKER_02 45:27

Yeah. So I have, yeah. Like nothing. To your mom and dad? To my to your mom and a hundred percent. Well, my mom only has her and her brother. Okay. And um, my she was awful to my mom. She was she was someone and she was raised maybe that time. She was really nice to my sister because my sister was always thin. Her whole thing was you could never be too rich or you never be too thin. Oh, that's just exactly like my grandma. Yeah. Like so insane. So I, because I've always struggled with my weight, like since I was little, probably normal weight when I was younger, but then like hit, let's say, you know, probably like seventh, eighth grade. And I just remember weight has always been a struggle for me. And coming from a grandmother who like was so solely weight focused, it's all shadow talked about. Yeah. Diets and then the latest diet, I mean ever like every diet fatty I've ever been on. But she used to get ready in the morning with her magnifying mirror. The fact that I'm actually even saying this out loud makes me want to throw my mirror away. Well, then maybe this is therapy for us as well when I need it. So she would, and I was like, I'm never using that.

SPEAKER_00 46:39

Who like needs to see your face blown up that much? Well, now, because of being in your 50s and you're like, why hair needs to grow on my head?

SPEAKER_02 46:48

Oh, not on my chin.

SPEAKER_01 46:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:51

So I recently, after looking, so said to Sean, you have got to go to Costco and get that amazing mirror that your sister has. Oh, yeah. I never look at there. Oh my god, I want to fight with it. Oh, never. But the other side of it is I'm like, oh, thank God, because it like makes things work. Yes, you can see our the goat hairs up. But I never thought I would be ever using a magnifying mirror. I don't put my makeup on with it. Yeah. I'm just constantly and it's a like plucking doing your brows and chin hairs and all the things. Yeah, my brow is not so it's funny, my brows don't really grow anymore. They grow really infrequently. I probably over-tweeze them. So I'm hoping that will now translate to my face. But how about the fact that it grows overnight and then it's just long? And it's spiky. And spiky. Oh, it's because it's white. It's like a nine like now. I mean, I can't ever get them with my these nails that I have, but I try. And it's so satisfying, right? To get hair. Oh my gosh. And it's frustrated when you can't get it. Oh, especially if you're in the star trying to pull it without tweezing. Oh, because you know I can't. It's so wide. It's so in there. Sean's always like, what are you doing? He's like, Are you like, are you tweezing again? Like, yes, I am. But yeah, the magnifying mirror is mine. What's yours? Um things that I never thought I would do. Um or even use. I would, I mean, I didn't ever honestly think that I would maybe get Botox as much as I like. I always just thought my skin was gonna stay the same. Oh, right. My twin. Your face was always gonna Yeah, like a smooth. I look at Layla and Maddie and I'm like, oh gosh, that's skin is so little chicken nuggets out there.

SPEAKER_00 48:34

Yeah, the good skin. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 48:37

So everything like falls where it's supposed to. Like soak it up. Well, I mean, I kind of dabbled in Botox even in my twenties, I would say. Did you? I did a little bit because I remember hearing that it's like more preventative. So if you bought it early, it would prevent like Oh, like getting wrinkled, so you wouldn't then have the pipe. Yeah, so your forehead, you know, everything would kind of so I did kind of dabble in it.

SPEAKER_01 49:02

I I do look back on some pictures now, like in my late 20s when I had the girls, and I had a very like at least now I think I can move a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 49:10

Yeah, but my forehead was very frozen. So back in the day, and Chris could always tell when I started to wear off because I would like have the lemons, like the angry, you know, those would kind of pop back in. And even though when stayed, because I didn't have heavy wrinkles then, yeah. He was like, Why are you scowling? What you're so angry. And then I was like, Oh, time to get more Botox. So I like no to self, get on the calendar. Yeah. I mean, I I guess I'd been doing, yeah, I mean, I've been doing Botox now, I would honestly say for exactly 20 years, because I probably started when I was 28 here and there. Okay. And then just kind of always kept it up, um, like a little bit here, like once a year.

SPEAKER_00 49:49

But I'll say right, you're not on two years. No, right, it's very infrequent.

SPEAKER_02 49:53

Well, I mean, now that I feel like we're older, it's a little bit more frequent. But um, yeah, I didn't I always thought yeah, I guess I just yeah, going to tanning beds and all the things like when we were younger, you never really thought that you'd get to the point where you actually had wrinkles and tanning beds. Oh college, the best. Do you know? Well, now they have red eye therapy in them. I'm not so high on another subject. Yeah, but I think I mean I'm a big fan of tanning drops. You love your tanning drops. I do. Anyone that doesn't use tanning drops, there is number 12. It's a product, you get it on Amazon, you put it in your book. And oh, with a little degree, and it says 12. Yeah, I'll actually I'll link it after this. It is the best. You do love yours. It just gives you a little, like if you're having a sad day. That's what I say. And it doesn't make you tan tan. It's like I'm so dark. Yeah. It just gives you a little pick-me-up. I don't care that I look like the Tin Man.

unknown 50:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 50:49

Because I like bronzer and I want to feel like I look tan, and I feel prettier and healthier when and we live in Idaho, so there's many, many months that we're all very pasty white. Absolutely. And you just feel so much better when you have a little bit of tan, but a little bit of mascara, some extra bronzer, and a gloss. Agree. I'm even I laugh because I will fully be pasty white from the brand near town. I don't care. Right? I literally like albino. I'm just I am so like light and no color, and then my face has just a little like my face went somebody somewhere, but my body did not. My body did not go on the same trip. But it's covered, like if you're like look at my arm, you'll be like, what's going on? Oh like your face color, your rest of your body cute for pictures. But cute for pictures. And you always yeah, you're always bronzed. And I love yellow bronze. I do too. Yeah. I think my girls did say I look like the Tent Man at one point. That there was two. Well, I use Laura Geller. Shout out to Frank. Laura Geller. Laura Geller's got a good one. If you're in midlife, yes, using that palette because I like absolutely love it. Yeah, because it's got like so much like blended in there already. Yeah, it has like a blended bronzer, it has a blended blush as a highlighter, and then you know, it has it. I just the coverage is amazing. Yeah, Laura Gillary Rock. Love your palette. Yeah, I feel like it's overhead light for you. Yeah, self-tanner is the best. Um oh, self-tanner is like although I just oh, yeah. I mean, I I hate to have to like use the mitt and put it on, but I just feel better when I'm tan. Yeah, I agree. And fat tan is better than oh, if you can't tone it, tan it. That is my line. Okay, I'm always like every event we go to, I'm like, I need to drop 20 pounds.

SPEAKER_00 52:38

And then five days before, I'm like, oh fuck. Okay, I dropped, I probably gained two pounds.

SPEAKER_02 52:43

I can drop zero pounds. So then if you can't tone it, tan it's tan it. I love it. That is my um that needs to be uh at an episode title at some point. If you can't tone it, tan it when we're talking about yeah, all the weight loss, GLP, whatever we're gonna talk about. That'd be funny. That would be weight loss. God, why that could just be like my I always say this. I must have been really like fit in another life because this struggle of weight is like uh well it's just like sets you back. My grandma was this she was like, I think she was maybe 90 pounds. She's so tiny, she has small like bone structure.

SPEAKER_01 53:23

My sister Megan has like the same, like very tiny bone structure. So she's a little person regardless, right?

SPEAKER_02 53:30

But just obsessed about and I think it trickles down, obviously, the generations of you know, yeah, being overly obsessive, yeah, with your weight or like not feeling good enough. But yeah. No, and it didn't like the bottom line is yeah, it made me like want to it made me sneak food. That's what I'm saying. Like it just, yeah, I mean, it gave me all these weird, like I didn't have eating issues per se. I do.

SPEAKER_00 53:51

I still probably do, but like it like I was never like it didn't turn into like a compulsion of let's say being anorexic or being bulimic.

SPEAKER_02 54:00

It was just more feeling badly about food and like always. Well, because we didn't wear the right way to eat food or what we were looking for. We weren't talking protein. We weren't talking about protein. We weren't talking macros. No, we were not talking macros. Car what is that? Car freaking carbs, protein. Yes. What's the other one for macros? Uh fats. Oh, yeah. Fats, carbs, protein. Right. Like the balance. Oh, no, it was just it taught yeah, she just like oh she's then she'd make comments. To you? She didn't make comments. She would do this thing that's even worse. She would sit across from you, pretend like you're eating something. Like just pretend. Like here, grab like a little crack. Oh, here, let me have a whole cracker down here. Love a cracker. Alicia from Rhode Island. Okay. Okay. She would look you up and down like that. She would look you up and down. Hell. And if you walked in the room, she would look you up and down. So let's say you're not. Like disgusted that you have eaten too much. Or you're like, or that the weight say you're like 20 pounds overweight. Right? It's like I was, you know, I mean, whatever the weight was, it I mean, it just I mean so obsessed and so her for a young girl, like he's already too like involved about people's weight and what they look like. But her, yeah, if you were skinny, totally different treatment. That's why so if I was rail thin all my life, she would have been totally kind to me. But because I wasn't, it was constant talking about what diet she was on. That's it was all about food and dieting. And you know, like somehow that was gonna be so crazy. I do think our generation, meaning like you and I and this this, you know, Gen X. Are you Gen X? I'm old. What's I don't know? No, no, no. What are you okay? Well, Gen X, yeah, do you say I don't say you're not a millennial, but I think definitely cuss. But I'm yeah, I'm Gen X fan. That's funny. The point you wanted I'm trying to make is that I think our age bracket has learned that you do absolutely do not comment on people's bodies. No, their weight, their facial features.

SPEAKER_01 56:16

You just do like you are not allowed to comment on someone else's body.

SPEAKER_02 56:19

Like you're just not allowed to do that. Never. How about just like a person for who they are and see their character? And no, like them or just like the people. You don't think I know that I'm 20 pounds overweight? You don't yes, of course I know that. I don't need somebody else to tell me that I, you know, yeah, I just think it's I've always done pretty well. I feel like pretty well. It's so non-commenting on my daughter, my girls, like talking about anything, like talking about weight, talking about facial stuff, like nothing like that. Yeah. No, I mean, like that has nothing to do with that. But that's like a generational thing, too. I think with your grandparents' era and my grandparents' era, it's yeah, it's like very much I know it grosses me out if I'm being honest. She's the worst. I um okay. I am a Gen X. Oh, yeah, we're the same then. See, Sissy, we're the same. Would I act like a Gen Z? Sometimes we act like boomers. Those are our parents. You know what's interesting is we do. We in one day can go. I mean, maturity level is a Gen Z. You're right. Yeah, very neat. Yeah. I will probably never.

SPEAKER_01 57:23

That's why my sister Jessica wants you to be her mom because you love how old is she?

SPEAKER_02 57:28

She's 30. Um, oh gosh, I put things. Is she 38? I could be her mom. I think she's 38. Jessica? I could be your mom. Okay, so maturity level Gen Z. Actual Gen X. Yeah. And then 100% a boomer. I'm actually I in the evening at like post-war. Post-war is wait, those are the wait, what are they called? Okay, post-war is 81 to 89. Wait, and then there's another one. There's World War II. Okay. Wait, that's a generation? The World War II generation. It says generation. Okay. So World War II. Okay. Then there's post-war. Okay. Then there's Boomers, I guess, one. Boomers one is like 72 to 80. Okay. Then there is Boomers 2, aka Generation Jones. Yeah, Generation Jones. So there's a generation. I think it's called something else, too. Okay. So Generation Jones. And then there's Gen X's. Yeah. Millennials and Gen Z. Yeah. So really honestly, I could fit any of these categories at any point of the day. But I don't think we would survive the what is it? Cold War? What'd you say? Uh World Cold Cold War. The post-war. I don't think we would want to be living in the post-war era.

SPEAKER_01 58:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 58:46

So it says they break up the generations. They break that up um boomers into two because it was so large. Oh. So it looks like Generation Jones. I love that. Generation Jones. Boomers too are just young enough to have missed being drafted into the war. Interesting. Okay, so now totally nothing to do with other things except for midlife. Yeah. Um, okay, so next little segment is which we actually kind of already touched on, is like, what do we do now in our midlife with texting and technology? Oh, okay. Passwords. Can we talk about freaking passwords? Oh, I know people use so much anxiety. Why? I just why all the same and if someone's gonna steal my identity at this point. Steal it. Take my ten dollars. You you can have I will write You can have my identity. If you want to be a widow and you want my ten dollars, you are welcome to it. That's what I will say. Tragic. Yeah. If you want to give me back my passwords and you want my ten dollars, I'm totally fine with that. Like if you can be the person, right? You are my gatekeeper of my passwords. I mean, there are feed them back to me, I will put you on a monthly stipend. I mean, there are why are so many like apps that those also don't help? But it's like there's everything needs a freaking password. Some have to get updated, like my work. And you can't use the last two that you've already used. I'm like, I don't have enough brain cells to come up with new freaking passwords that I can actually remember. Mine's a sand. I don't even know. Mine even says that it's been on the dark web and has been compromised. And I still hear the same thing. I literally don't care. I don't care. I have my okay, so I don't know how you do this. My credit is frozen. So this is my okay. Dark web, have at it. My credit is frozen. Yeah. So you want to try, you can't do anything anyway. Yeah. So correct me if I'm wrong. And I'm totally willing for you people, all listeners, if I'm wrong on this, reach out. Yeah. Give me guidance. But I'm thinking all my shit is locked down. Right. So you can't. Which most of it, mine is not. I know I need to do that. Okay, well, now we're gonna lock it down. Now that you've actually locked it down. Okay. But all of our family has their stuff locked down. So what are you gonna do? Yeah. But how many times a week, honestly, do you have to do forget password? Um, I mean, I didn't know I would spend as much time as I do on my authenticator app as I do, like from work. Okay. I mean, I'm always on Google Authenticator because at work everything explains like every couple of weeks. Yes. Yes. So you have to go in. I mean, I do I everything I have is on two-factor authentication. Mine too. So that's good. Um but I probably have to reset my password at least five times a week. So what?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:33

On just all these different I mean, it's a freaking password.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:37

No, I think so. Or like Google like logs this out or Instagram logs us out to reset, and then you have to get a code, and then you can't remember where you set the code. No, even. I cleared my computer last week because I needed to, because it was acting funky. Wipe me out of all my logins. Yeah. So I had to log back in. And then I'm like, you know, I'd have a pretty consistent password with variations because things expire. Yeah, yeah. And it's like, I literally, uh, I was like, I swear to God, just tie for the colour. Yeah, and try to keep three like three basics that I can rotate with adding on characters or whatever. But then you have to remember the characters. I know, and then I don't. Yes. And then I have to reset it again. I had to go back and do something with one of ours, and I'm like, what in the hell would I just like what'd you yeah? And then I was like, magically, I don't know. I had like a must have had like a Gen Z moment where I was like, oh, I totally remember this. Pulled it out from absolutely nowhere. Nowhere. But I'm like, oh, is that right? I don't know why I remember that because my memory is absolutely horrible. But yeah, passwords. I just Okay, I do have a confession on like texting and technology. I so I have like a ro a Roku TV or whatever that is, and um, I don't watch a lot of television, but I end up watching because I feel like my brain is so ADD or ADHD, like in my set 49. I feel like I I have lots of thoughts running through my head. I keep the subtitles on on like my movies.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:11

Because I have to like that's the only way I can actually concentrate on a show is but I mean, is by reading the subtitle.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:18

So I keep it on so I can like concentrate. Because it makes you tune in. It makes me tune in. I totally get that. I mean that I need that with a book. That's why I can't do audio books. Oh yeah. Because I just it like little it's like watching golf. It puts me to sleep. Do you are you do you read books? No. But I'm saying if I pulled up a book. If yeah, if I got my Kindle out or something else that bought me. I feel like if we if I did an audio book, I would need like after every like maybe four pages, I would need like a okay, we're gonna quiz you. Are you listening? Say that, are you listening? I would need that too. Uh-huh. Because it'll be like a repeat. That's actually not a bad idea. Should we should we um I don't think anyone would actually do that though? I mean, I I couldn't download that app. No, but okay, but what about for studying for people in college who are reading like books and stuff for college? I know. Well, there's I know we have Maddie's point to be a doctor, she better study because I don't she needs to be operating on people without using AI. Although AI is amazing in the medical world, but uh uh oh we talked about a robot doing her facelifts. We talked about taking screenshots of a ton of stuff. Um kind of remember things we talked about. Um yeah, I I I still do that. Yes, no, I do too. Yeah, I have to go back and look and be like, what right? What did I all the steps of you know? Yeah. And that's where AI comes in because I'm like, oh hey, yeah. If I can't figure anything out, which is pretty much my entire existence, is I send it to Chippy. Yeah. Chippy's like, and I say, talk to me like I'm a three-year-old. Yeah. And he's like, okay. I mean, I'll talk to you in my normal voice because you are three years old. Yeah. And I will explain it because you your brain is very you've never, yeah, it's mine. It is. And he was like, let me take this one micro step at a time. I'm I agree. I am dumb. It's like, whatever. I also put we have a family calendar. So everything that I do and my kids do, they know it has to go on the family calendar. And actually, that's good. This is a good tip for marriages because it did work really well with Chris and I. Um, he was also part of the family calendar. And so it there was a lot less arguments when maybe he would plan something, but I already had something that we were doing as a family. Maybe it was a a dinner, a party, a vacation, you know, whatever, an appointment for the girls. I put everything on the calendar. Okay. And he finally got added to it because he was like doing things that maybe would overlap with what I was. Already had on the calendar. Sure. So he learned to like check the calendar before he needed to like go, maybe one to golf, maybe one to fish. Right. He would see on a Saturday of like, oh, we have a um a birthday dinner to go to. So I can't do that. So that is my marriage tip. That's actually a really good tip. So that if your husband wants to have a tea time on a Saturday and you have a kid's birthday party that's already on the calendar, then there's no argument about who's taking who to the birthday party or who that we didn't have a yeah plan. I still to this day, my girls know all of their appointments are on our family family calendar. Still to this day. Still even like that. She doesn't even live in the vicinity. I love that. So then I say, how about your doctor's appointment? Or how is you know whatever she or she if she's going on a trip, you know, I'll be in whatever Austin for these four days. Maddie does her dental, she does some of her exams. Like it's it's helps me. I love that you're like, I can follow up and know which it's brilliant. I just yeah, we have to. Okay, so for my girls, we will start a family calendar. It's just it's like helpful so that's you know, even if you I'll put like whatever Mother's Day brunch at whatever to blow honey. And it's like, where are we going? Well, you can just look on the calendar. If you look on the calendar, you already know. I already have a reservation. It's already I track them on Life 360 and they're full-fledged adults, so I might as well. Well, I I do have that. I think I got rid of Life 360, but only because we have I have their location on like my phones, you know. Yeah, I like to just check. You do? Yeah. Oh yeah. I'm always like, where are you? Oh, I wonder if my kids are listening. I don't know. No, kids. Say as kids listening, send us a message. H Hillary checks the girls' location. I do. And I have my girl's location. And they know I just don't want like, yeah, I just I want my like I yeah, there's been some conversations, is what I'll say about uh me saying, Hey, looks like you're you're here. I I I'm wondering what you're doing. And no, I think it just I don't want you to be like yeah, like privacy intrusion, but I think really this is on full since Chris died. Yeah, I was gonna say, I don't feel like it's privacy, and granted, I don't care where they're at. No, I got divorced when my kids were little, eight, ten, eleven, but there's something about when it's just you, and I'm gonna just say this from everyone. It's the same thing. You might okay. You just need to know where your kids are in the world. Yeah. Because all of a sudden, like my spouse didn't pass, but he bailed. Yeah, you didn't know. And so it was just it was just me, it was the girls. I'm a hundred percent responsible. And they never went to his house on the week. They never did any weekends with him or anything like that, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:33

Oh, so ours was weird, is we did the pretend nesting thing where he would I would leave and then he would come, but he quickly got specifically reviewed.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:43

We're gonna have to talk about that on. Yeah, we'll just talk about it's a totally different, but and I'll just kind of go high level of this. Because we're gonna stuff and snow is uh a divorce. Is I think when you were like the sole parent, even though my girls were young at that time, I've never like I just there was times where let's say Morga was at surf, like she was at the down at like soccer. Yeah, it's called whatever, like surf something, surf whatever it was, whatever the soccer was. Um so she's in San Diego with the family.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:12

I'm with Ashley up in like Sacramento, Kenzie somewhere else, where I just always needed to kind of know where they were. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:20

And that's I mean, granted, this is going back 15 plus years. Yeah, I still feel that way is I just kind of need to know, and I'm not checking on them all the time, but you know, if I just pop on and I'm like, oh, it's Friday night, you guys are both at your house. Okay, cool. Yeah, I feel settled. Yeah. And not that I'm about that. I can I feel I get a better night's sleep. Yes, agree. And I they I don't honestly, they can go out and to oh god, LA, they can go. I know I didn't, you know, we were wild. But yeah, I like I'm the only parent right now that's left on the planet. Yes, I I feel like it's this. I feel like it's a soul when you have a hundred percent responsibility for everything, it's not even a privacy thing. It's my I go, I don't care. Sleep over at a boy's house, whatever. Go, go do whatever you want. I just kind of need to know where you are. Yeah. So yeah, I don't know. Well, it's yeah, Maddie went out and I encouraged, like, go out. I want my girls to go do all the things.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:16

Um, travel, go to Europe, do all the things. Yeah. Even when Layla was in Italy, I just would like wake up in the middle of the night and just kind of, just kind of see if she was at a restaurant. Or I don't, I mean, I never called her and said, like, what are you doing at that restaurant?

SPEAKER_02 1:10:29

I just wanted to know like that I could see where she was. 100%. That's really that's all it is. I feel like that's exactly and like Maddie was at a pizza place the other night after she went to see like a beyond play or whatever she did, and it was kind of late. All I did was say, like, it was, you know, pretty late, early morning. And she's responsible. And she said, Hey, checking in, are you good? Right. She said, Yeah, mom, totally good. We're eating pizza, heading home soon. Great. You know what I did? I trim, I put my phone down and I'll cover it. I went to bed and I had a great night's sleep, even though I hard hardly sleep at all. But but you because you knew yeah, you knew where she was. Yeah. That's it. I just want my kids to, yeah, that's just part of the reason we're saying that is like that's part of our I'm my gratitude towards technology midlife. When you can absolutely know where Yeah, when you have adult kids or I mean high school, yeah, that's hard too. When they're starting to drive and they're going to parties and when you're dabbling in drinking. Totally. I yeah. I mean, uh, that's a whole nother episode of you know, what do you do when you know your kids are at a party and they're drinking? That's a whole nother thing. They call you. That's what they do. They have my kids call you because we you just have the open door we see of like you can't safety is the utmost importance, you're not gonna get in trouble. You just have to call. That's what we that's how we raised our kids. Yeah. Now granted, I didn't call my parents, I called my sister. Oh, well then yeah. Then that's right. We were she always was my savior, and yeah, she was a very good girl. Yeah. She was always available and she had a car. What's your age difference? Are you three years? Uh 18 months. Oh, me and 18 years old. Yeah. I don't think I knew that you weren't gen Maria. Oh, yeah. 18 months. She was like, she was fantastic. And she was also the reason when I walked into high school, people would be like, oh, you're Jen X's sister. Like thinking I'm easy and smart and easy. Well, easy as a good student.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:15

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:16

Like, oh, you're gonna be an easy student. You're gonna sit down, you're gonna listen. Well, no, that was no, I actually wasn't easy either. Um, but I also I was focused on social. Yes. She was focused on school. Yes, I was focused on why she went to UC Davis. Why I went to Questa College. Why I didn't go to But they were like, oh, you're gonna you're Jen's sister. Yeah. Like, oh that's how it was for Megan and you're a mystery day student. And like I'm like, fuck that. I'm there for the boys, right? I'm here for the parties. And parties after the vlog. I'm gonna be fun. I'm not here for right. So anyway. Where are we on time? Um, I do love um uh yeah, we will wrap it up. We're houred. Just we're just chit-chatting. Um we're gonna break this into a few segments. No, we're good. Um okay, what are the things that we uh secretly love in midlife? I think we've already touched on some of those, which is being home. Oh um, bed Jason hour, so dinner at five, in home by it, in home and bed, scrolling by 8:30. A good mattress, secretly love. Do love that. Or a topper, good sheets. I call them a sucker for canceled plans sometimes. Oh, canceled plans are the best. And I never fault anybody, especially if you are a griever. You should never ever fault anybody for give them a hard time for canceling plans. And I don't have, I don't, I don't have that. But I just say I made the plans and I felt like I needed to keep them and I was in a really bad headspace with Chris.

unknown 1:13:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:47

I literally like will jump up and down if someone cancels plans. I love it. I'm like so excited.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:52

I'm always like, and the best part is like if let's say that people are coming to my house, because I'm like, oh, my house is probably now cleaner than it probably was, and um they're not coming over, like double wind.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:05

Double wind. I can be in bed by 8 30. Okay, we also really love uh I do, and I know you do too. White noise is our main at midlife. The best. But I mean, I always use white noise on my kids, even when they were little in their in their rooms. Did you?

SPEAKER_00 1:14:19

I never did. Oh, it just means okay. No, I never did.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:22

And they and now, well, I don't know, Layla doesn't use it, but I know Maddie does. Um a good, well, we love grocery delivery. That's thank Lord for that. Oh god. The So it do you use Amazon? Well, now I've switched everything to Amazon. It's incre I mean we Jack has a bunch of though. He does not need any more of our money. He doesn't. So if like anyone could come back to the body. But I do buy Amazon gravity. So here's my question is why do they all come in completely separate? That's wild. With like what I mean, four water bottles, and you get one and you have a bag of limes. Right. I'm like, put it all together. I know they yeah, the system is well, it's still I feel like it is fairly new, but it's amazing. One blueberry, one mushroom, yeah, one cucumber. I'm like, throw it all together. Yeah, yeah. Pack it like I pack it at the grocery store. I think they do need to because people are using that more and more. I totally switch most of my stuff to groceries now. It's so great. But they come and you're like, one bag comes, and then an hour later, three bags come, and then another hour. Yeah. Like, just wait until it's all ready. But they do give you that text that says delivery, please put your groceries away. I like that. I get the text that says your groceries have been delivered on the front porch, so please put your group. That means I have to walk to my front porch. Oh my god. Well, this is just more of us not leaving the house. Yeah, I'm like, I have to open the door. Can can I just leave it open for you and then you come in and put it away? Like our dog will probably bite you, but you know, I'm just saying, if you can get past the one that bites you, I'll give you an extra tip. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Um I was just looking over like our chapstick. I have chapstick literally in every purse. Every purse. Every purse. Every car. That might not be midlife because I feel like I've always liked lip glosses. But yeah. I have to be so dry now. Well, we live in Idaho. I know, but we're like lizards here. I yeah, I know. That's not lizards. I was looking at my hands and I was like And then when we go back to California, like I'm you know everything's dewy because it's more humid there. California's Oh, well, in Orange County. I feel like I'm my hair. I don't know my weather is like big and frizzy. I'm yeah, it's wild. Yeah, NorCal and Soapal are like totally different states. Although, yeah, I just really break it into two. They're very different. Oh, yeah. I mean, I grew up in Santa Cruz too. So they're just very dewy. People are different, the vibe is different, just very different. I don't remember ever being dewy. Yeah, no, I mean back east, like yeah. I mean, it's not like um humid, humid, but compared to how we live here, no, this is so dry. Like I love laquinta for that reason. Oh, exactly. My hair is so dry. So good in La Quinta. Um what weird thing have you started doing in midlife that you're oh yeah, we already oh, we are just saying if there's anything in that you're doing now in midlife that your younger self would be like, who are you? We want you, we're gonna put some some social media stuff up, but we want you to tell us. Tell us. We want to know what weird, funny things that we haven't covered that you and your friend group do. And I will say the messages that we get, you guys, are awesome. Thank you for reaching out. And it's such nice, fun messages, and we read them, we respond to them. She totally wanna hear from you. So yeah, see if this resonates, um, share it with a friend. Yes, right? Share it with a friend, tag us, right? Definitely, but reach out, love hearing from everybody. Oh, wait, I want to say one more thing. Yeah. I want to I want to just touch on the uh who like else uses heating pads as much as I do. It's the best. Okay, I thought heating pads were only for people that were like 85 years old. But or like if you had a like I never used a heating pad my whole life until like the last couple years. So I told Hillary earlier before we started, I have two heating pads at home. Like I'm 90 years old, and one is in my bed. So when I'm when Aunt Flo is visiting, I love that on my stomach. Like, or if it's really cold because it's super freaking freezing ass fold in Idaho in the winter, I'll turn it on, I'll put my blanket, my comforter over, I'll go brush my teeth and do all my 20 minutes worth of things. Right. And then I get in bed and it's warm in my bed. And I'm like, because I don't like a heated blanket. That's like too hot for me. Oh, really? It's like a heated square. Yeah. Just a small square. A heated square is good. Okay, so then downstairs on my couch, which Chris would always be annoyed with me on because I would I leap it on. It's a 24-hour or an auto. Yeah, I turn itself off. No, it doesn't turn itself off. So you can keep it on all the time, okay, which is probably not very safe, which is probably why I have dreams about fires. Okay. Anyway, that's a whole nother segment. Um, so I have the heating pad on the back of the couch with a my Minky over it. The best. And then I come down or minky. I let the dog out. Still my I make my cup of coffee. Okay. I sit where the heating pad is, I pull the blanket onto me because it's warm from the heating pad. And like the 90-year-old lady that I am, I put my back against the heating pad that's already on on the couch. And I just love my old lady morning routine. Oh my god. Well, so if you don't have heating pads, I don't know, use them. I never used them before. Heating pads are the best, but you're also in your post-war era, so it's like I get it.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:38

Because well, the I did see a medium once, and remember, I told you she told me I was actually in World War War II.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:45

Well, okay, that's so I am in my post. That's different. That's a 99 to 104. So in your post-war, you can only be up to 98. So maybe you kind of go between two. Yes, maybe I go between the two. Maybe you were like right, maybe you were a cusp. I was a cusp. Yeah, yeah. Oh my gosh. Okay, so midlife is wild. We don't just freaking. It's so bizarre. Our bodies are bizarre. Our, you know, all the things are just so, you know, progesterone and estrogen, all the things that we have touched on in other episodes.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:17

Um, but thank you for listening. We are so happy that you guys are here. Go pop into some other episodes. We would love for you guys to send us messages. But thanks for being here, and we will see you on the next episode.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:30

Bye. Bye.