Part 2 And Now a Word from Our Spouses: The Middle Child Finally Speaks

They told us about their childhood… now it’s time to talk about marriage.

In Part 2, our spouses open up about what it’s really like being married to two first-gen eldest children. From responsibility and control to communication and family expectations — we’re unpacking how our upbringing shows up in our relationships today.

Let’s just say… eldest child energy is real.

If you’ve ever wondered how sibling roles impact your relationship, this episode is for you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:07

And maybe a little patience for your underchild because today we're getting into it. Holys, it's me, Isa, your favorite chaotic daughter, and welcome to part two of and now word from our spouses. I hope you enjoyed part one. And part two is such a special treat. I can't wait for y'all to listen. Um, I hope you enjoy. So now we're gonna get into the what is it? Nitty gritty nitty-gritty. Whatever, that was like my first gen thing. So yeah.

SPEAKER_05 0:40

I have to learn English and Spanish. At the same time. At the same time.

SPEAKER_04 0:45

Um, so what is we want to know what it's like being married to the eldest children.

SPEAKER_03 0:51

Oh, this is fine.

SPEAKER_04 0:52

So we have a few questions. Um are we controlling?

SPEAKER_00 0:57

No. Heck yeah. None whatsoever. None whatsoever. As you're telling me to say no. Uh no, maybe a little bit. We'll say a little bit. But then again, they get you're yelling at me the other day telling me what to do. So yeah, just a little bit. Just a little bit. But uh, you know, obviously it's because you care and you want me to do what is right for you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:23

Yeah. Yes, that's what it is. I think that's just any wife. Yeah. Yeah, you're capable of more. You said you see uh controlling tendons. Well, I mean, I'm when I say controlling, I don't mean it in a bad way, but like that we like to take control of like certain situations and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_05 1:41

Um I'd say we collide a lot. Um we do want to do things our way. So I think that's where like our heavy debates come into play. Like there is a uh it's on video. Um yes, Daisy, I'm calling calling you out. Um on our wedding video, she you guys have to say some words, um, and then she's like, and now more fighting. Because me and Ugal debate it. I like to call it debate. I don't think we're fighting.

SPEAKER_00 2:12

It's not a debate if I keep winning. Uh it's still a debate, you just win. That's not possible.

SPEAKER_05 2:18

No, because you come back around and be like, yeah, well, you are right.

SPEAKER_00 2:21

I do say that a lot.

SPEAKER_05 2:22

So my mom has had to come um a couple of times, like when we were dating, and she's like, Mia, why are you yelling? What's going on? I know my daughters. It's like, Mom, we're just like having a disagreement, we'll be fine. But no, I think it was just like as a middle child, you want to be heard. Yeah. And then Ugo, as a first child, he's like, You're gonna hear me. You're gonna hear what I gotta say. You're gonna hear what I have to say because I got a lot to say. So I think that's where we kind of collide. Um, where do we do want to do things our own way? Just like the other day, we're trying to wrap a gift box, guys. A gift box.

SPEAKER_02 2:59

That was yesterday, sweetie.

SPEAKER_05 3:01

Yesterday, the other day. Hey, don't fight. Don't fight. Don't fight up.

SPEAKER_02 3:04

Correction. That was yes, correct. And you just lost that one.

unknown 3:08

Thank you. Thank you, Jack.

SPEAKER_05 3:09

Um, so we, you know, he had his mindset of doing it one way, and I was like, well, it'd be easier if you did it this way. And then I was like, all right, you know what? And I will like kind of just back off and let him learn. And he learned and said, you know when you were right.

SPEAKER_03 3:24

There you go.

SPEAKER_05 3:26

I know I think that's where the middle child comes in, is like, you know what? You want to force your way, I'm gonna just back off. Yeah. Let you try to figure it out on your own. And then let you come to me and say, you know why you're right.

SPEAKER_04 3:37

Josh writes down every time I say you're right. Okay, that's a win for all the guys.

SPEAKER_00 3:42

I say, we got another one, guys, and we put it down on the board. It's not just for that's a that's a crazy thing that you say that as far as um you said that he wants to, he wants to, you want to be heard, but he wants to tell you. So I don't feel like my voice matters. And I've always felt like my voice doesn't matter. But it's not because of her, but that's just how I've always felt. That's why I never voted. That's why I never voted because in the end, I don't feel like my voice matters. So I did want to vote this year when she when she actually uh registered for me to vote, and I was kind of excited about it just because like, okay, I guess I'm gonna vote. We were all excited about it. But it was kind of cool, yeah. Everybody else was everybody else was because I've always said my voice that does not matter when it becomes to that.

SPEAKER_05 4:28

I never thought about it that way. Where people probably think like you do, like, well, my voice never really mattered. Well why would it matter now?

SPEAKER_00 4:35

I'm I I guess I could say I'm also a conspiracy theorist type person. Yeah because I'll say that's a whole because I always feel like it it doesn't matter because in the end I can't prove that my vote went to where it was supposed to go. So that's why I feel like it never matters.

SPEAKER_05 4:51

And that's where hope comes in. You have the hope for a better, yeah, better future. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:57

But again, it's and hope only matters if you got money.

SPEAKER_04 5:00

So him being a realist again.

SPEAKER_00 5:02

Yes. So, but yes, that's what that's when you said that, I was like, okay, that's something that I've never thought of. But yes, that's how that actually works.

SPEAKER_04 5:10

Look at y'all getting down.

SPEAKER_00 5:12

I'm glad you have glad you have all these stories because it's jogging stuff in my brain, in my brain to to work. Because in the end, I was like, okay, what am I gonna say here? I'm gonna be kind of.

SPEAKER_05 5:23

I shoved a lot of things down, and that's why I was like You shoved a lot of things down, you got a lot of stuff to do.

SPEAKER_00 5:28

No, I had to.

SPEAKER_05 5:30

You think I just did this today? I've been thinking ever since you told me about this episode. I was like, let me jog my memory. What are some things that I want to share that maybe someone can relate to? Help them.

SPEAKER_00 5:42

Just when you when we got the questions, or you got the questions, your response was those are great questions. I didn't even look at it for like the next two or three days. So I started what a few days ago, I started kind of writing stuff down. That's like, I need to do this, I need to do this. Yeah. And today I finished it. So but see, I'm type C.

SPEAKER_05 5:59

I don't know if you ever heard of type C.

SPEAKER_00 6:00

I don't know what type of one. I don't even know.

SPEAKER_05 6:02

I'm a little bit of a type A where everything is like in order, organized, but then type B, I'm very chaotic in a sense that you know what, that's my organized mess. So there's a type C, which I just learned that you get both worlds. I'm a type C. So don't give an F. I'm a type of type.

SPEAKER_02 6:22

Hey, but I I think also too when you when you when you finally get behind the mic and you start talking, you start realizing, oh, yeah, it is. Like I say, this is therapy for me.

SPEAKER_04 6:32

Like people are like, and it's like it's it really truly is, I can say, is therapy for me, like getting behind the mic.

SPEAKER_02 6:37

Like even when we've before we started, we talked about how we uh the the y'all taking notes. Like we mean it's like we got top five. Y'all we just go on the fly.

SPEAKER_05 6:47

But then y'all don't get to dig into your core memories.

SPEAKER_00 6:49

But I think talking like it's already we do. They're already there. And then and then we're the oldest, and they're always we're all doing this. That's why that's why I have notes all over my desk because I forget things. I was like, oh, I gotta do this, I gotta do that, and I'm just like, I forgot about it either way because I forgot where I put that post-it note. It's over here. No, it's over here.

SPEAKER_02 7:07

You put a post-it note for the post-it note. Yeah, a vento.

SPEAKER_05 7:10

No, I write my notes and then I type my notes, and then that's how it sticks. Oh, that's you gotta have one note on your desktop. Oh, I love mine.

SPEAKER_00 7:18

I'm just gonna put everything on my monitors now.

SPEAKER_04 7:23

I have a bunch of sticky notes on my hands, so that's how um so do y'all feel like we take on too much responsibility sometimes?

SPEAKER_00 7:30

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 7:31

By choice.

SPEAKER_00 7:32

That is definite. Okay, by choice. I just said yes. You didn't fight for them.

SPEAKER_02 7:38

That is a better answer. Yeah, yesterday I was, I was, I didn't see yesterday where I noticed that I was like, I got we have to, I gotta get this gift, we're gonna wrap it, but I gotta put this brisket in for tomorrow because we're gonna film, we're gonna record, and da da. And Bristol's like, hey, and I told myself, you know what? I just need to stop. It's just a party, just a brisket, or like but I don't know how.

SPEAKER_00 7:59

I don't know how. Yeah, I I think I do the same thing to you sometimes. I'm like, just it's not that big a deal.

SPEAKER_04 8:04

Yeah, like when I'm in like party mode or like an event mode in hosting mode, and Josh is just like it tells the kids just get out of her way. Yeah, just get out of her way.

SPEAKER_05 8:16

Yeah, I think it's just in y'all's nature as firstborns that y'all like I've always felt you had to take charge and take responsibility, so then you kind of bring that into the marriage, like you know. I would say, like, with me and Uogle in the beginning, it wasn't always like that. I think for me, like I said, I was very much, this is my next chapter, and this is what I'm gonna do. This I'm a wife now, and this is what I'm gonna take on. And Ugo wasn't there yet 100%.

SPEAKER_02 8:43

Um she's 100% right. I even as she's pinching him, as I told her as I told her on the way to church.

SPEAKER_05 8:53

Pinch it for me. It's like no, but um, I I just think that it took him a little bit more time. Um, but now that he's like, I literally I sent him a video the other day and about um the potential that I saw in him that I knew that he had. He was like gonna be great in his future. I just had to kind of like guide him on the jum a little bit. Um, and then the responsibilities in recent years I've seen more of him shifting into like I'm gonna take this on.

SPEAKER_04 9:23

Yeah, take charge of it.

SPEAKER_05 9:24

But then I'm like, you gotta find the healthy balance because we're a team, it's not just you. I'm here too.

SPEAKER_04 9:30

With I think with Josh and I too, that's where we clash because I was always like really um, you know, like I did everything. I did our bills, I did everything in the household. I went to all the school, the kids' uh meetings and stuff like that. And then I would say like four years ago or five years ago, I kind of was like, look, if I die one day, you're not gonna know how to pay these bills. You're still you're gonna have to talk to these teachers. And so since then, like I say we had our little financial divorce, uh, which is the best thing for us.

SPEAKER_05 10:02

I brought that up to Ugo and he's like, nope, no ma'am.

SPEAKER_04 10:05

No, for us it was the best thing ever. Uh because I am work. Yeah, it works because like I love to spend money and I love gifting.

SPEAKER_05 10:12

His parents do it, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 10:13

Yeah, and so it just works for us, and then we're pretty equal. And you see how that goes.

SPEAKER_02 10:19

No, Miko, tu paga. No, to pa nah.

SPEAKER_04 10:22

It doesn't work for me. I mean, and then uh so where was I going with that? I'll go off on a tangent. Um the responsibility of it, yeah. The responsibility of it. And so I was like, okay, and we did that, and so he pays for certain bills, I pay for certain bills, and then like we'll, you know, take turns doing whatever. But I and then now I'm like, okay, well, I can't go to this meeting with the kids, you're gonna have to do it. He takes all the notes because he's like, I'm gonna have to take notes. Oh, when he's so that way he doesn't forget it.

SPEAKER_00 10:50

I was like, You like the you like the notes?

SPEAKER_04 10:52

She was like, yeah, or he'll ask me, he's like, okay, what are certain things you need me to ask when I'm in the meeting? And so, like, we do it that way, but I tell him, like, you know, you need to step up a little bit.

SPEAKER_05 11:02

I'll ask you's a different approach, but you still come out and you like give me like high-level summary. I'm like, oh, I like that.

SPEAKER_03 11:09

And then I'll dig for more.

SPEAKER_04 11:11

Oh, well, because I because I'm not like because I'm always like, Well, what did they say? Why didn't you ask this? What did I do? And that that's how he's like, So, what do you want me to ask? And then he takes notes.

SPEAKER_00 11:19

Because I'm not gonna ask all the questions you're gonna ask. I'm gonna ask the the main things, and then if there's not enough information there for her, yeah. I don't know. That's what they try.

SPEAKER_05 11:29

Or like, or me, I I'm like more of the alcohol, and then I'll let you know what they say.

SPEAKER_02 11:34

But if he ever has to do it, yeah, but if you're gonna ask me a follow-up, like, hey, well, what do they say? I don't know. That's not what I didn't ask that.

SPEAKER_05 11:40

Give yourself a little credit. You actually kind of like, you know what, they did say this. So you'll give me something.

SPEAKER_00 11:45

But those are things that that I wouldn't necessarily take in information-wise, that she's gonna ask. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 11:51

I don't think I go into those things now thinking to what is Priscilla gonna ask so that I can really follow up.

SPEAKER_00 12:00

I go I go into those things now, yeah, ready to record because I'm gonna miss something and I'm gonna give it back to her just to record it.

SPEAKER_04 12:08

It's like, what did they say?

SPEAKER_00 12:11

Did they say this?

SPEAKER_02 12:12

Was it on the recording level? That's why we got the big memory on the phone. I need 250.

SPEAKER_05 12:17

Well, that's when you asked during QA.

SPEAKER_02 12:20

My wife actually asked.

SPEAKER_05 12:22

Let me uh conference in my wife.

SPEAKER_02 12:24

I text her, like, hey, what'd you do? I think I did that one time.

SPEAKER_05 12:27

Oh, yeah, I think so.

SPEAKER_02 12:29

I tell her, I don't want look, I'm gonna ask you this because I don't know. Hold it.

SPEAKER_04 12:34

911. Do you think uh we struggle to ask for help sometimes?

SPEAKER_00 12:40

Yes, definitely.

SPEAKER_05 12:41

A hundred percent.

SPEAKER_00 12:42

It could be as simple as I can't open this jar, but you are going to try it 100 times until you've exhausted all options, and then you will give up and give it to me. I'm standing there waiting the whole time. Let me just do it real quick. But no, that's just how you were then. Yeah. And I don't I mean it is what it is.

SPEAKER_04 13:01

And then he now he's just learned and he's like, I'm just gonna let her do whatever.

SPEAKER_00 13:04

No, yeah, and then she can help me, and I'll just sit there and wait until she's finally done, and then I'll get up and go do it.

SPEAKER_05 13:09

I see U will like he doesn't want to be a bother. Like, like the other thing. I think that's what it is for me too. Yesterday when you were were juggling the brisket to go take it outside, and I was sitting in the sitting area, and I was like, We're about to leave, and um, he's like, Can you, you know what? Never I'm never mind, I got it. So he's like struggling to open the door. I was like, dude, I can go help you and open the door. I got it, and he opens the door. I'm like, okay. So it's just like little things like that. He'll he wants to just take he just doesn't want to bother me. Take control.

SPEAKER_02 13:40

Yeah, we never had anybody to ask for help. Like, yeah, yeah. It was it's it's like we weren't like, can you help me with my cancel? If you guys have heard episode one through seven, that's all we talk about. We give my little violin. It's but it's just instilled. Like, I don't think I could that's ever gonna change. Like, I don't know. I I can try.

SPEAKER_05 14:00

I can try, but I'm like, why am I gonna probably that you feel like you know you don't want to say the words help me? But there's other ways you can be like, hey, you know, I'll do this if you do that.

SPEAKER_00 14:09

All you gotta say is share the words.

SPEAKER_05 14:11

We don't uh but when it comes to the the house chores can you help? But I will be the one to say, can you help? So he did help with the kitchen today. So I'm pretty sure.

SPEAKER_02 14:27

Yeah, I I told you I was gonna clean so that we can eat some brisket, nice nice table. That's why we had two kids, so they could do home.

SPEAKER_05 14:36

Mine's like, Mom, I got homework.

SPEAKER_00 14:38

No, I can't. The second one decided she's gonna do something like we're doing some of it.

SPEAKER_04 14:44

So, what's the uh most eldest thing that that we do?

SPEAKER_05 14:49

It's mine. Oh don't think it. It's mine.

SPEAKER_02 14:54

It is mine.

SPEAKER_05 14:56

Yeah, that's his most thing.

SPEAKER_02 14:58

We we talked about this yesterday. It was more like, hey, I I told Priscilla when I was even when I was younger as a kid, and sometimes to this day, if someone borrows like something of mine, I get this tingly sensation like on the back of my head, through my like all through my spine, like someone's borrowing my stuff, and I'm like, Can I borrow your pen? No. And so, and so I it's weird. I don't know if that happens to anybody else, but to me, someone's borrowing like my pencil or or someone took my notebook to write something. I'm like in my mind, like I feel it. I physically feel willing. I physically feel something someone borrowing something, and I'm like, that's mine, and they're borrowing it, just give it back. Or someone, I let someone borrow my. I understand that. Someone borrowed my pen.

SPEAKER_04 15:33

You're like that, I make sure I get my pen back.

SPEAKER_02 15:35

Like, yeah, it's like it's I never had to share things. I just want to make it.

SPEAKER_04 15:39

I had to share everything, so I'm kind of like I'm a I'm a big giver. Like, I get a lot out of giving, but then like it's just like nothing really belonged, I felt like belonged to me, so it's always sharing.

unknown 15:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:52

No, even with food. I tell my daughter and Priscilla, if you wanted something, why don't you tell me? I would have got you another order of it.

SPEAKER_05 15:57

That's Josh. Dude, share your fries. There are my fries there is a tax fry. So if you're my fries.

SPEAKER_02 16:02

We go, we'll all take the fries. They're my fries. And if you wanted an extra order. I would have got you an extra order fries and I would have ate the rest of them. It's okay.

SPEAKER_00 16:13

On my list, I just put down that you tell me what to do. Yeah, maybe that's it. Honey do list.

SPEAKER_05 16:21

Honey do list.

SPEAKER_00 16:22

It's not a honeydo, it's just you tell me what to do. Just tell me. That's all it is. How to navigate it.

SPEAKER_04 16:26

I'm driving the bus, tell me where to go. I I made him write down all those notes.

SPEAKER_03 16:32

Take your notes, Johnny. Okay. Alright.

SPEAKER_04 16:36

Um, so what do you uh how do you feel like our childhood comes out or your childhood comes out in our marriage?

SPEAKER_00 16:42

Like how your dynamic is, how my dynamic goes. And to everybody. So at that point, I'm just I'll let you do what you're gonna do, and I'm just like, oh yeah, she said what she said. Yeah, and then I'm out.

SPEAKER_04 17:00

That's a problem for me too at work. I'm very direct, and some people don't know how to take it. But that's just I mean, I don't think I do it in a rude way. I just I'm very direct about how I feel and stuff like that. And a lot of people just don't know how to how to take that. Yeah, it's the BD energy.

SPEAKER_05 17:20

I was like, did I hear that?

SPEAKER_00 17:23

Uh what kind of energy do I have if I don't have that then? Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:31

Hey, no, no, no. You have the perfect amount of energy.

SPEAKER_00 17:39

I really gotta think about that question.

SPEAKER_05 17:42

I had to think about this question because I'm like, I know in your childhood, like you you went through a lot. You had to like navigate the world on your own. And um, like I mentioned earlier, it took you it took you time to adjust that we are a team.

SPEAKER_03 17:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 17:58

And I don't know if it's that you felt like you didn't have a team or that you felt like you can rely on someone and always wanted to like tell you you are not alone, like I am here. Like, you know, I trust all, I got you.

SPEAKER_02 18:13

Who's cutting onions right now?

SPEAKER_05 18:14

Oh, I love it. So I think it's just more so like um just making sure that you know that you you can count on me.

SPEAKER_04 18:22

Like you're not alone. You have an older sibling.

SPEAKER_02 18:26

Right? I guess I do have an older sibling. Yay.

SPEAKER_04 18:31

Well, I'm gonna ask you about like what what are uh Priscilla's middle child tendencies that she has?

SPEAKER_02 18:38

Uh what are you doing? Eating slow. Yeah, eating hello. I think she's more like like I I like I do see like me as a firstborn, like I like there's like I don't I don't want to say I'm greedy on some stuff, but like I don't like to share things. Yeah, it's like mind, mind, mind. And Priscilla's like completely opposite, like, yeah, here take this, or here have the last bite, or here do this, and here do that. I was like, and I'm I'm not.

SPEAKER_05 19:07

And then you know Maddie calls me out on that. Like sometimes she's like, oh, can I have some of that? And I'll be like, yeah, sure, sure. She's like, Mom, why don't you ever just tell me no? Yeah, it's okay.

SPEAKER_02 19:15

I told Maddie straight up, this is my burger, like you want to hell no, and it's it's it's weird.

SPEAKER_05 19:20

And I never really thought about it. I'm just like, yeah, here you go.

SPEAKER_02 19:23

Yeah, very, very like just pacific with that.

SPEAKER_05 19:26

But it's only with people who I like love and trust. Like, you know, if you are like in my village, like, yeah. But if you're not in my village, I will definitely hesitate. There's I will definitely think about it.

SPEAKER_02 19:37

There's there's definitely times where I feel like okay, that was like a firstborn thing to a middle child. Like, no, step aside, like, I'm gonna play the game. Like, I'm gonna turn, I'm gonna use a TV. Like, it's it's my turn.

SPEAKER_03 19:45

Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:46

Instead of like, hey, do you want to watch something every once in a while? It's like, or little thing, little, it's little things, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 19:52

But um we talked about it too. Um, the self-awareness. Yeah, like I'm very self-aware. And I've got to be a good idea. Yeah, I think too.

SPEAKER_04 19:59

I think it is a middle child.

SPEAKER_02 20:02

Yeah, we talked about that on the way home from church, like being very self-aware. And I and I told her I I I not it's not that I get mad, I get mad at myself for not thinking that way. Like, why couldn't I think of it? Like when I apologized for the gift wrapping yesterday, I was like, you know what, Priscilla? I hate it to admit, but you're right. Every time I say something, I just gotta go back. You're right. Like, why did I? It's a it's just a it's a damn gift.

SPEAKER_04 20:26

It takes me forever to say I'm I'm wrong.

SPEAKER_02 20:28

Yeah, but I saw that question here. Oh, yeah, that's coming up. Yeah, but I I think there's a lot of like Priscilla's more like give she's very giving um just by nature, but I think that also stems from having to share with older and younger like different aspects of it, like being available to babysit for the older siblings, their kids, and and being available to the younger ones when they needed advice. And like there's some things that I don't know how to add, like I can't ask for help because I don't know how to. I never had anyone. It's like ask my mom, and well, you're going to school, why don't you know? Oh, I can't go to like, hey, how would I go do this? Or I'll ask her now for advice. Like, how should I handle this at work, or what do you think about this? This is what I said. I how would you have said it different? So, but I think just kind of you being in the middle of like seeing the olders and the youngest, it's like I I it's a different perspective that I don't really see.

SPEAKER_04 21:20

Oh, yeah, definitely. I think Josh to me uh it's like you said, it's like he really laid back and kind of like he's there. Like he he doesn't and then he sits back and thinks. That's what I love about him is that he sits back and thinks before he says things or does things like when I am at a hundred, like he can calm me down, like in his own way, but he he's just very like you said, real fussy people, like just that's what y'all know.

SPEAKER_05 21:49

That's the danger side of me that I've noticed um as an adult is when I am not my self aware person that I know that I am. Um and Someone or something happens and I will act out of character and it will shock people because I say the first thing on my mind, and the first thing on my mind is like, I'm gonna cut you before you cut me. Yeah. And I think that comes from my dad, my dad's side.

SPEAKER_00 22:15

I don't think I've ever gotten to that point. No. In our marriage.

SPEAKER_05 22:18

I think you Oh no, no, not towards each other. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_00 22:20

Well, no, no, yeah, that even that, just that.

SPEAKER_04 22:22

Yeah, he's always been very only when he gets like really drunk, he gets not even that. He gets like funny, crazy, and I'm like, hey, calm down. Like, and I'm a crier too. And he cries.

SPEAKER_01 22:35

Sometimes I don't. Oh, I'm a crier.

unknown 22:37

No.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

We cry together. We do, man.

SPEAKER_05 22:39

But I've worked on myself a lot. I've done a lot of self-reflecting during Lens. I love it. God knows me. He knows how I am. He knows how I talk. And it's just like, alright. I know, I know I need to do that.

SPEAKER_00 22:52

I've asked for a lot of forgiveness. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 22:55

And it's a good thing we're Catholic, there's forgiveness.

SPEAKER_02 22:57

Forgiveness is more laid back for sure. Yeah, very much. You guys analyze and think before you say that.

SPEAKER_04 23:03

Yeah, because Josh is the quietest one too in the group of his friends. Like he's always and he'll say something that's hilarious, but he sits back and just watches everything, looks at everything, and then when he feels comfortable, that's when you're that's when he's when he comes. Yeah, and people give him bad rap, like definitely. Like uh, you know, that he's this or that, but he really isn't. He's like the sweetest person you'll ever meet when you know him. Like when you he's he he's like you, when you're in the world. I tell people he's the sweetest.

SPEAKER_02 23:35

I tell people at the time it's like Josh, like Josh is is not gonna be in your face out loud like everyone else is, but in the back of like in the background, that fool's laying down some gold. Like you just don't know, and then he's always there for you, like always there for you, no matter what. And I always tell myself, like, man, I don't I don't think I do enough for Josh as much as he does for everybody else. And she's like, and I was like, you know what? That's why the other day I was like, You're gonna help me with the the my golden throne down there. It's like I'm gonna make a brisket, just or I'm gonna cook so that you know it's uh sort of a thank you. But I I I think uh and I was telling Priscilla today, like right before we come here, and I was like, hey, I just want to thank you just like for what? I was like, I don't know, just I'm just thankful for everything. Like I at church, I was just thinking, like, man, like our little group dynamic our chat is stupid sometimes, but it's also real positive. Like it's always like now that we're older.

SPEAKER_04 24:20

We're each other's biggest cheerleaders.

SPEAKER_02 24:22

We and that's what I told Priscilla. We don't I don't think everyone, I don't know if everyone has that. We do like we're truly genuinely happy for each other. Like, hey, I'm proud of you. Like, and it's always like a finally Friday, like, hey, we made it to the week and this and that.

SPEAKER_00 24:34

I still struggle with that, yeah, with that text when you guys do that. I just I'm I'm like it's me in the background just watching. But you're but we know that. Oh, I know that, but I still instead of just being like, hey man, great, it's it's Friday, happy for you guys, yada yada yada. I used to do that with my sister-in-laws and Isabel and and another group that we had, I used to do that, and it was about more just about women, about empowering men to do that.

SPEAKER_04 24:55

He's such a girl, dad.

SPEAKER_00 24:57

Um but I I just don't do that with you guys. I don't know why.

SPEAKER_04 24:59

I know, but you're more your love language is service. So you do it like working on people's houses, cooking, or whatever, being there. Yeah, you supportive.

SPEAKER_05 25:11

Your brothers, you know, you guys didn't really share emotions or oh his whole family.

SPEAKER_00 25:16

Maybe, maybe. I mean, uh my mom, my mom was never very um emotional to show emotion or stuff like that. Yeah, expressive, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 25:24

Nothing just I think that's what me and him struggled in our marriage. That was a big struggle with uh Josh and I because my love language is affirmations, and so again, so I've had to learn like when he cleans a house, or there's one thing that I tell him that he's like, Really? That means a lot to you when I'm in the shower, he grabs the towel and puts it over the little railing for me. And to me, I don't know, that's just like okay, that's him showing me he cares, and so when he doesn't do it, I'm like, Hey, you didn't put the towel for you, but it's those little things that he does, like his acts of service is huge, and so I've learned that, so it's like awesome. You don't see it, Josh, we do, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 26:05

Okay, and I do take the time to to reconcile any kind of like um things with like friendships or relationships, and um, I tend to scale back if I felt like I was wronged in any way, um, but I will be the first to say this is how I feel, and this is how you made me feel. And if that person um comes at me in a, you know what, well, this is what you did, and then you know, and then it's like, okay, now this is like a song and dance, or this is a back and forth, we're not really getting anywhere. Um, and I'm like the first to say, you know what, let's just kind of like just move forward. And um I'm I'm always the one on the I've got to be. I can't do the hang girl hanging after we've had like a little thing and didn't get a chance to talk it after then. I feel fake.

SPEAKER_04 27:11

Yeah, and anytime something comes up, it's like I mean uh, like I felt this way. At first, I was like, it made me feel like oh this is awkward, but I love like I tell her I love that now because we know there's nothing there, no agenda. Right, it is what it is with us because like that open communication, and like I mean, it was what even last year we had a conversation, so it's it's always you know ongoing, and I love that that I always know where I stand, and she's very good, like a diplomatic diplomatic spicy nappy nah.

SPEAKER_05 27:46

No, but I will go that extra mile if I see that that person really cares for me. But if they if I can see that they don't care for me or they have other intentions that you know don't really include me, then I will back off a hundred percent, and then they'll wonder why. Yeah, because I I gave them an opportunity, right? Um, or maybe I I didn't express the opportunity, but once I'm done, I'm like uh I'm gonna ask a question for you Isabel.

SPEAKER_02 28:14

I'm gonna see maybe it's maybe it's a middle child thing. Does Josh have a really good intuition about people?

SPEAKER_04 28:18

Like yes, okay, a hundred percent. And I never listened to observer, and I never listen.

SPEAKER_02 28:23

Because Priscilla, because I noticed she does that too, and then like we'll go back months later. You were right, like this person was Oh, she really does.

SPEAKER_05 28:33

Um it wasn't until your the ceremony that we did at your house that it clicked for me.

SPEAKER_04 28:38

Uh uh, what was the oh we yeah, we did a cacao ceremony and I talked to some bubbles.

SPEAKER_05 28:44

Is she like a spirit? She's a shaman. Okay, and I talked to her about my experiences and like you said, the intuition that I had, and like some of the things that I can foresee, not like really like I can tell the future type of thing, but I can like feel like oh my gosh, I think that this might happen. And then it turns out that it's true, and then I kind of like spook myself. Um, but when I talked to the shaman, she was like, Um, you definitely have a gift. It's uh don't uh um and she was like, if you you know get into that, then you can really see like how how powerful that can be. And I that scared me. I was like, no way, because it already scares me when some of the things come into the city. Oh yeah, there's been times been right, and they're like, and and I think that's where I get very like um like you said, Uh, like very complex when with my thoughts and what I share. And sometimes to the person I'm sharing it with, they're not there where I'm at. And it happens a lot in in my line of work. I can see an issue and I can solve it, but the way I explain it is already at the end of it, yeah, where I need to get them there. So I I think it's just all kind of you know, encompassing or whatever, but um I don't even know where I was going with this.

SPEAKER_04 30:08

About how you can see Josh can see someone on my own.

SPEAKER_00 30:10

Yeah, I see it because I can see it a mile away. I think it I see it because of my realistic view of usually it's because of men.

SPEAKER_04 30:22

But I mean with everyone. I mean you I think you can like but you And I see it mostly with women.

SPEAKER_05 30:28

And then maybe because we know ourselves and you know how men think. So maybe that's yeah. But no, you're you're right. I I think mostly with women.

SPEAKER_04 30:39

So um I guess this is more of a question for like Josh, like with Ugand Priscilla, do you think they balance each other out?

SPEAKER_00 30:46

I think so. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_05 30:50

Now I feel balance 100%.

SPEAKER_00 30:53

Yeah, I don't I don't get involved in anybody's marriage or relationships or anything. I just I mean from what I see is what I see, and that's pretty much all I don't say. Oh, how's your marriage doing and how you're married at all?

SPEAKER_05 31:03

And we're like pretty like what you see is what goes on at home. Um of course we have intense like conversations, um, but never to a point where we're like belittling each other or getting like um like we just tell our truth.

SPEAKER_04 31:21

Yeah. One thing Josh has never he's never called me a bitch, none of that. Like he's never called me out, like we've gotten mad at each other, but he's never called me out my name or cursed towards me, like F this, F that. Like he's he's never that's one thing that I love that I will. I'm like, you're such an asshole, or I hate you, or but he's sorry babe, I said that word too.

SPEAKER_02 31:44

We say it, we say it like we kind of, but it's not like a serious like but you can't even finish the sentence.

SPEAKER_05 31:49

Yeah, acting like a and then he'll stop yeah, but Josh. But then he'll say it with like a funny tone, and I'm like, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_04 31:57

But I'll let that one slide.

SPEAKER_05 31:59

But I back then, early in the marriage, it was definitely the balance was off because obviously you're both trying to figure each other out.

SPEAKER_04 32:06

And it's true, the seventh seventh year itch is a ours was a five-year itch, like it was the first five years were like scratching like crazy. But after that, after that hub, at like because it was like five and then six seven, you're right. After that, it was just like this is my ride or die. He has my back no matter what.

SPEAKER_05 32:26

And any newlyweds, like I promise you, if it's worth if you feel like it's worth the fight, it is worth the fight. And if he is your soulmate, it's it's always gonna be worth it for the world.

SPEAKER_04 32:37

Yeah, but it's good work, but then now we're like over that hump and it's just great. And I I feel like and I know it sounds cliche, but I I feel like I fall more and more in love with Josh like every year. It's like you know, the years that we forget our anniversaries, but we both forget it.

SPEAKER_05 32:55

We're the same way, like we won't forget the anniversaries, but we're not like a big like yeah, us either. Yeah, we'll just stick to our little tradition.

SPEAKER_02 33:02

And I think you guys balance each other out too, yeah, really well. I think it's I think that's the key thing of why like it works.

SPEAKER_04 33:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:10

Because there, yeah, yeah, if you were to look at y'all, y'all are complete opposites. Oh, we are, for sure. We are, but in a good way, like I think that's a good balance. I know, I'm good looking. She knows her.

SPEAKER_04 33:20

Like, even when we go out, like me and Josh aren't like the love. We're not like the lovey dovey um, we're like friends. Like when we go to a bar, I'm on one end, like chit-chatting with everybody, and he's over there. That's how it's at the wedding that it works, you know what I mean? It's like it's because we're so secure with each other.

SPEAKER_02 33:38

But then you'll also you'll also take turns. Yeah. Like if like uh like you sometimes it'll be Josh that's like out there and you're kind of like. And I'm laid back.

SPEAKER_00 33:46

Well that is that's a legal thing that happened.

SPEAKER_02 33:50

Because before that, it was both of us. No, but I think I'll do balance each other out because there's there's times when you're very talkative and yeah, and I'm more laid back, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 34:02

No, like in high school, like Josh, like to me, it was like, oh my god, he is an a-hole, like, oh my god, you know, like what everybody's saying is true because you were never expressive. So we can only know you by what we heard.

SPEAKER_04 34:14

Yeah, and then once you're in his circle, yeah, we know exactly who he's like.

SPEAKER_05 34:18

And then, you know, as we got closer and closer over the years, like you both compliment each other. Um, Josh, I've seen you more expressive um than you've ever been before. Like, like he's voting now. Like you you're there for U a lot. Like I see that. I see how you're there for U, and you're there for the other guys, but I can see it through my own husband, how you guys get you're there. Like you can be someone that's like.

SPEAKER_00 34:44

And I think I think I even asked Ugo one time if if because I felt like I wasn't a good enough friend. Um, just I don't know what it is. It's that I just felt like I wasn't good enough, whether a friend or not, or what it was. But and he expressed to me, he said, Yeah, man, you're you're a great person, you're a great friend to me, and stuff like that. So that's like okay.

SPEAKER_02 35:02

I take a bullet for this guy.

SPEAKER_04 35:04

I love Ugo and I'm gonna go.

SPEAKER_02 35:06

When I do it, no, you can get your ass.

SPEAKER_04 35:08

I love Uogle and Priscilla's uh dynamic because they're fun, like they're like truly best friends, and like you know, they cut up, and it's always funny. Like when they did their podcast, that was hilarious.

SPEAKER_05 35:20

Our one and only I still can't find it. Somewhere on SoundCloud, I think.

SPEAKER_04 35:24

But they can you can truly say they're like best friends.

SPEAKER_02 35:26

It's yeah, that's good and bad though.

SPEAKER_05 35:28

What did I tell you the other day? Like, because I'd be having some random thoughts. Like, I'd be thinking like way out there. We were, I think we were on our way to tavern last night. Or was it on the way to no, we were on the way to Gun Barrel.

SPEAKER_02 35:40

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_05 35:41

And I said, well, what's the gun bar?

SPEAKER_02 35:42

And those are the same, those listening outside of Texas. There is a city in Texas called the Gun Barrel City. Sure is.

SPEAKER_00 35:54

I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 35:54

I just know we go to uh being a beef and burger.

SPEAKER_00 35:58

Yeah. It's pretty good though.

SPEAKER_05 36:01

But I had said, like, so like we have to find ourselves in our next chapter because uh our daughter's going off to university. And I said, What if when we um start to like get closer again and rekindle and we find out we just don't like each other as much as we thought. Oh, that much.

SPEAKER_02 36:22

I took a few like, what the hell are you saying?

SPEAKER_05 36:24

But like you said, I'm very like truthful with my thoughts and what I say.

SPEAKER_02 36:27

We're on the way, we're on the way back. On the way back, we're on the way back, and I say, well, you know what? I better just go do this because you're not gonna not gonna love it when Maddie goes graduating. I better get ready.

SPEAKER_05 36:37

But I don't see that happening. Yeah, I don't think so.

SPEAKER_02 36:39

Yeah, but the to me the thought isn't even came.

SPEAKER_05 36:42

No, because I think we have to be more mindful of what we do because like it was always on the go, Maddie's next activity, on the go. Now it's just me and you. What are we gonna do? Have fun. What are we like?

SPEAKER_02 36:56

But I mean, I think I can a lot of things we're gonna be doing. This is a family podcast, man.

SPEAKER_05 37:02

Family podcast. Like, are you gonna take me on audience? Yes, because he's not a romantic doll.

SPEAKER_00 37:08

He's not a romantic.

SPEAKER_04 37:09

Josh isn't either.

SPEAKER_00 37:10

Well, he's he's not a romantic in that sense, but he's verbally romantic to you. Verbally romantic. I guess I can write a something. I will write a money on that.

SPEAKER_02 37:18

I will write a mean ass love bomb text or letter before I can say I can express myself. Yeah, I can express myself. He could probably do a little dance for me.

SPEAKER_04 37:30

But if you need that, he didn't sell like noogle. He's selling noogle to Priscilla. Don't give up on that. He did that the first time.

SPEAKER_03 37:37

Joshua got it for the first one.

SPEAKER_05 37:38

Oh, he makes all up. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:40

We got it, bro.

SPEAKER_05 37:40

The guys all did their doing, and Joshua's one of them, and he's got it.

SPEAKER_02 37:44

It's been 17 years. We're good. I got it. So but yeah, no, it's it's uh, I think, I think in our and I think we're blessed, and I'll say this, and I say this to all the time, as our little group dynamic. It's very unique because we all knew each other in high school and kind of also in the same circle, so it's a little bit easier to like if we have to hash things out or if things like we gotta talk some stuff. It's not like just some random person that just randomly we met like five years. No, we've known each other for a long time. Yeah, almost 30. 30 years crazy. And I and I and I and I like this younger generation, or like you and our kids, like, do they have those friends that are like that? I know Maddie has one or two, three, like the fab five. She has a good group. And I and I tell her, like, hey, these people are gonna be our lives for the rest of our lives. Like, these aren't they're not going anywhere. I said, You need to find your your friends. And it takes work and friendships. It does, it does.

SPEAKER_05 38:37

It takes a lot of work, and I think a lot of them will be split up into different, yeah, you know, and we're talking about that today.

SPEAKER_02 38:42

Like, we're talking about like we have our group chats, and then we have like our other friend who's like focusing on starting his family and then going back to school, and then like, and then we were talking like we all have our own different dynamic, but in the in the sense we I talk to these guys more than I probably text you sometimes. Like, there's days like we're talking about it.

SPEAKER_05 38:57

Dude, you've got all day long.

SPEAKER_02 39:00

I do, but there's but there's days that there's days like hey babe, what you do? There's days that we're you the one that sent me that group that that they say, oh I just want to bother my husband. I randomly just tell him that I'm yeah, I'm bored.

SPEAKER_05 39:12

Let me let me know. But I gotta go, I gotta meeting too.

SPEAKER_00 39:15

We get those we get those TikTok videos sometimes, and I I want to send to Isabel, but I want her to feel bad. Because sometimes the TikTok video is a plumber or a contract or whatever, and he's under a house working really, really hard, sweating, strained, and everything, and then he gets a phone call, a text from the wife, and it's like, hey, I'm thinking about doing this today. I'm thinking about making this for dinner. I'm just like, fine, whatever. That's good, that's that's cool. Yeah, I had to get used to that.

SPEAKER_04 39:37

Working my ass off when uh we first got together because he was very like abrupt. But I mean, now I get it, or he wouldn't answer my phone call on the first way. Uh oh would wait three days before calling me.

SPEAKER_05 39:49

Oh wow. What is that?

SPEAKER_00 39:50

Three-day rule.

SPEAKER_05 39:51

The three-day rule, right?

SPEAKER_00 39:53

I didn't put that in the in the application for the Where did he learn that from? Not that any secret book that we have.

SPEAKER_05 40:00

No, but I do credit Isa and her patience, and I think she's um brought a lot of that out of you, Josh. Oh, yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_00 40:08

100%. She's she is the reason why I am what I am, who I am. Because otherwise, if I think I don't know who I would have be, how I would be without her. If I was with somebody else, I thought have you ever thought about it? I don't even know if I'd be with hanging out there, like where you would be. We joke around. You missed that part. Like I'm just saying in general, I don't know where I would be.

SPEAKER_04 40:27

Josh too helped like lets me be me. Like I go out, not like a lot, but I have a group of friends, like on my friends, I'm sorry. My uh um, I call them my gay friends. They so we have a like a dinner club and we go once um once a month. We hang out. I'm always the only girl. And they're always like, Your husband's okay with it. And I was like, My husband lets me be me because he knows like if I if he restricted me, I would die. Like, this is my outlet, and he just lets me be me. Like, he lets me be crazy, he lets me.

SPEAKER_00 40:58

I mean, plus they're they're gay.

SPEAKER_04 41:02

No, but also like girls' nights, or if I have like a girl's night and stuff like that. Yeah, he just he's lets me because he's like he honestly just lets me be me, and that's what I think.

SPEAKER_05 41:13

I think that's key in a marriage. Like when Ugo goes out or when I go out, we try not to like bother each other. Like I want you to have a good time, just don't end up at the casinos at two in the morning. Or in jail, or in jail.

SPEAKER_00 41:25

I just I just need to know or pulled over by a helicopter. You're okay, old done, you know, just stuff like that.

SPEAKER_05 41:31

Yeah, they'll just track you on the tracker.

SPEAKER_02 41:33

Hey, that that's you know, funny you say that. Like, we I talk to a younger generation, like at work, or the younger ones that we know, like your wife's okay with you going there. It's like I'll let her know.

SPEAKER_05 41:42

Yeah, like there's nothing we don't hide anything, like open communication distrust, as long as you don't break that trust.

SPEAKER_02 41:48

Yeah, exactly. And and so they don't think they like I think that's important. It's like just and like you said, letting you be you. We talked about that, I think it was yesterday too. Like we uh like remember that one time I told you, like I always write, you know, like yeah, and like you were wearing those stupid shorts with those leggings underneath, and I told you that trend is not a hit.

SPEAKER_05 42:04

I wasn't gonna say your story.

SPEAKER_02 42:06

I said it, and I was like, damn it.

SPEAKER_05 42:12

You were trying to be a transfer. There's a picture with the California. There's a picture of the gym.

SPEAKER_02 42:20

And every time when you said that, I was like, I remember the picture that we took on them period and a high. Like, yes, I was wearing those stupid shorts with a stupid leggings. But I'm gonna let you be you. No regards. I I will do it again. That's what I chose to wear, but like it's it always goes back to like just let you be you, you'll figure it out.

SPEAKER_04 42:37

Yeah, you'll figure it out. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:39

All right. We'll circle back to our to our uh so we're gonna do some rapid fire questions, and um I don't know how to ask this first one with that.

SPEAKER_05 42:48

I don't know how rapid fire me.

SPEAKER_02 42:51

Just ask it, I know, but I want to I want to word it. I want to order it.

SPEAKER_05 42:57

Well, I wrote it down fast.

SPEAKER_02 42:58

So maybe I should I knew the answer quickly.

SPEAKER_05 43:01

Exactly. For sure.

SPEAKER_02 43:02

I'm gonna ask I'm gonna ask it different for sure.

SPEAKER_05 43:04

No, it's a different set of questions.

SPEAKER_02 43:06

No, uh so who who do apologize who apologizes second in arguments? Second.

SPEAKER_00 43:11

I mean, at all? Yeah, well. So the question is who apologizes first? The question is it's me.

SPEAKER_04 43:17

Yes, Josh. Josh, definitely.

SPEAKER_02 43:19

Is that a husband? Yeah, I think it's husband thing. We know.

SPEAKER_00 43:22

Yeah, because we we know we're we're we're wrong. Whether we're wrong or right, we're wrong.

SPEAKER_02 43:26

Sometimes the same of a headache, it's just like, yeah, all right. Yeah, it's just but in my back of my mind, it's like I got my control of this.

SPEAKER_00 43:32

That's why that's why when we get those wins, I say, hey, it's a win for all of us because it's a win, period. You know what? I'm gonna start. I'm gonna start texting everybody, like, we got one, guys.

SPEAKER_02 43:41

Yeah, put another notch.

SPEAKER_04 43:42

Yeah. No, I think I apologize like before we go to bed. Like, I'll say something or do something, and then before we go to bed, I'm like, uh yeah, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_00 43:50

Except for you or for me then, because you can sleep. I don't wanna go to bed angry. I'm just like, okay.

SPEAKER_05 43:57

Yeah. I'm like, okay. I think that's where my Spanish colonizer blood comes in with the pride, and I can't be wrong. Um, but there are moments where, like, you know what? I did F up. Let me just say, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:11

When are those, baby? I don't know. I remember you remember December of 7th, 2007. The last time I had uh you arrived was back in April 3rd, 2007. 7:54 p.m. I told you that the order that I ordered was right. I shut down kidding.

SPEAKER_05 44:31

And and we don't go to bed um angry as much anymore. There's been moments where we have let it fester, and then in the We gave each other space. Yeah, and then um in the morning, he'll be the first one to text me a whole long thing like I am so sorry, and I you know the more butaras, but a overthinks more?

SPEAKER_04 44:57

Me. Me.

SPEAKER_02 44:58

I was gonna say me. I was gonna say me. Everyone thinks it's each other. I was gonna say me, me, me, me. Spider-Man, me. Spider-Man. I will say it depends on the situation. I think you overthink more on like planning things. But I think if I'm gonna do action, I'm like, uh Vacation pee is a whole. Oh my god, I love vacation, Priscilla.

SPEAKER_04 45:22

I love Josh. Vacation Josh.

SPEAKER_00 45:26

I know we can have a we have a sticker. That's crazy. You guys are bringing this up as like good things. And when I read that question, I read it as who overthinks it more. Nothing like an argument. That's what I thought.

SPEAKER_04 45:38

Well, I mean it could be overthinking. Now you're overthinking. Now you're overthinking it.

SPEAKER_02 45:42

That's why I said me. No, I think I think we I think we overthink, each of us take a turn overthinking depending on what it is. Yeah. Because sometimes that like, and not to just no disrespect, Priscilla, but if we're trying to make a decision on like what soap to buy, we're there for 10 minutes.

SPEAKER_04 45:59

Oh yeah, Josh researches everything. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_05 46:01

Let's talk about your soap research.

SPEAKER_02 46:03

Hey, first of all.

SPEAKER_05 46:04

Can you never use it ever again? How did that backfire the music?

SPEAKER_00 46:11

He tried it though.

SPEAKER_02 46:12

It was not good.

unknown 46:14

Not good.

SPEAKER_05 46:14

But I'm not gonna say it was it was made in.

SPEAKER_02 46:17

But do you know what? Whatever. Do you know what? But I bought that thing so quick, it didn't take me but five minutes to understand what's up I wanted.

SPEAKER_04 46:24

Yeah. Josh is a researcher, he's a researcher too. Like he researches everything before we get.

SPEAKER_05 46:29

I think for you, you can't get it first person my mom calls if she needs someone to like give her an answer like right away. I'm like, oh, look it up online. This is this is what I found.

SPEAKER_02 46:39

Oh, you do look up things online then. Oh yeah. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_05 46:42

I do look.

SPEAKER_02 46:43

I would say you got a phone on, you gotta phone a computer on your phone. Look it up. What's the thing?

SPEAKER_04 46:48

That's when we're like on the road and I'm just like chilling. Her mind's on something else.

SPEAKER_02 46:52

My mind is just my passenger princess.

SPEAKER_04 46:55

Yes, very much.

SPEAKER_05 46:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:56

I want to be a passenger princess every once in a while. Anyways.

SPEAKER_04 47:00

You are when going back to the vacation. Like they Josh likes, he's the funnest. Like, I love vacation, Josh. He's so fun and willing to do anything and everything. Like, no, I mean, he's always like, let's go do this, let's go do that, da da da. And I'm like, why aren't you like this all the time? But he is very fun.

SPEAKER_02 47:18

Vacation beak. You can ask Chris as a blad. We were, I think, I don't know, we were in Austin and I think Y'all had like a draft or something.

SPEAKER_05 47:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:29

And then we uh I think that the breakfast was at that little donut. I don't know, this is a breakfast place that everyone was at. And then we didn't have a well, we got there late. So we went.

SPEAKER_05 47:38

No, no. We got there early.

SPEAKER_02 47:40

No, but it was packed and went to Fuzzy's and you wanted to like And we're waiting on everyone. You're like, let's go to Fuzzy's, they have a bar. I was like, what? Eight in the morning and on vacation. I'm drinking when I'm on the city.

SPEAKER_04 47:51

See, Josh isn't a dancer or anything like that, but on vacation, it's like he's he dances.

SPEAKER_02 47:57

I know we had that as a sticker. I saved that video.

SPEAKER_04 48:02

Oh yeah. See what I told me every time our vacation, y'all.

SPEAKER_02 48:07

I think so. This one I'm gonna ask it. I know Priscilla's gonna be completely wrong, but who's more stubborn? Both.

SPEAKER_04 48:14

Uh, you're right. Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 48:15

I think it's a bit like I apologize.

SPEAKER_00 48:18

Both of the question marks.

SPEAKER_04 48:19

Yeah. I think in our own ways again, we're both we take turns.

SPEAKER_05 48:22

Yeah, we take turns because I wrote down Oogle is a smidge more.

SPEAKER_00 48:26

But it's why we say that we wrote down things.

SPEAKER_02 48:31

This is all off the fly. I I am. That's the oldest child syndrome. Like, I I like no, this is what we're doing. No, no, no. And then like, alright, you were right.

SPEAKER_04 48:42

Yeah. You have to wear us down, and we're like, bye.

SPEAKER_02 48:47

Who is more likely to try to fix everything? And this is when we try to like we were trying to debate.

SPEAKER_04 48:52

Literally, and me. Like me. Because Josh, like, we we had a fridge. Like, literally, too, because like for four, like uh, we had our fridge for 20 years and Josh kept fixing it. Our oven's from the 1960s, and it still works perfectly.

SPEAKER_00 49:08

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_04 49:09

I guess like emotionally he tries no, you try to be a fixer for me too, until I'm like, you know what? Sometimes I just want to be heard. I don't want you to try to fix it. I just want to be heard invent. And so he's doing a really good job about that. Like, and then sometimes I'm like, okay, you're not gonna say anything. And he's like, Well, you told me not to.

SPEAKER_00 49:27

I'm just doing what you say. I fixed our washing machine multiple times. Yes. Then I'm finally done, I got thrown away. But yeah.

SPEAKER_05 49:36

I guess um for me, I wrote down both. Like, I really felt like it's like both of us trying to fix things. Like you said, emotionally, I'm always like quick to try to like okay, I got a plan A, but here's plan B. Um, and then kind of start going back into the topic of being a middle child. Like I found myself as an adult trying to be like that um fixer within the family and keeping the family together. Um, I know you know my older siblings did the same thing, and then I felt like that baton kind of got passed down to me. Um without you know, it's it's not it's not it's not anything that you feel like you you had to take it on, but it felt like all right, let me try to fix what's happening, but it was exhausting. Yeah, and like you said, it's not so much of fixing, it's more of a it's just really listening to to let them bend. And I think it was just it it just got to be too much, yeah. And then I saw it kind of pour into my own family, um, where it kind of disrupted a lot of our um just trying to like have a more positive culture in our family, yeah. Um, and so I I I said I really did, and I was better for it. And I I just think that um as as a whole we're healing in our own ways. Um again, like I told you, like you know, it's it's very emotional being in a big family, and I think we're just all taking the time for all of us to heal from fixing.

SPEAKER_04 51:11

Yeah, it takes a lot of healing, like with my sisters. Like I tell you, like with my sisters, it it took a while, but now I think we're in a really good spot, and I think it takes both when both of y'all are open to have the communication, like sit down and really talk about boundaries again. Um, you know what I mean? But really set those boundaries and really be like, what is bothering you? Like, be honest, be transparent. And I think once you have that conversation, and but the other person has to be open, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 51:38

But in a bigger family, it's a little bit more than that.

SPEAKER_04 51:40

Yeah, it is because it's a lot of different things.

SPEAKER_05 51:42

So there's a lot of different feelings involved, and you have to really be open to hear it and then be open to accept it of what you're gonna hear, yeah. And that's what I'm still working on, yeah. Like being acceptive of what I'm about to hear and not like you know, blow up because a lot of us have that mentality of being very strong-minded, and I'm gonna say what I'm gonna say, and if it hurts you, then that's your problem. Yeah, but I think um, in a way, we're just all healing in our own. And my parents don't see it that way, they want us to be like the old like be together. You know, and and when we talk about boundaries, I don't think with their generation they understand the boundaries. Yeah, um, but I think just creating healthy boundaries is I think that's very important. Yeah, I think that we're all trying to figure that out and navigate it.

SPEAKER_04 52:30

And you're so right, like being able to accept the criticism, the feedback, and be okay with it.

SPEAKER_05 52:37

Because the truth hurts.

SPEAKER_04 52:38

Yeah, truth hurts. Because that's how it was with me, and I had to sit there and like, okay, I'm not gonna say anything. And like that's a promise I made to my sisters too. Like, if y'all come to me and say something, I am going to keep my mouth shut and listen and take it in. And I'm not gonna like try to defend myself or scream at y'all, like, I'm gonna truly try to listen, and it it does take a lot of work, and I admire that.

SPEAKER_05 53:01

Um in my mom, that she's like, I'm not gonna give up on my family. I'm going to be the one, like, you're gonna talk to your sister, you're gonna talk to your sister, and y'all are gonna and uh you know at the end of the day, it's like you're right, mom. We're gonna try. And I think it's just yeah, I think it's just you know, you know, again, we're all just navigating through different courses in our lives and just you know, healing on our own, and then I really feel like you know, we'll get back to how we were.

SPEAKER_01 53:29

Yeah, um, but yeah, no one and as we wind down, as the brisket downstairs is ready to be sliced up. Now these three beers are kind of like what beers, man?

SPEAKER_02 53:40

It's kind of like a lot of beers about the modellos that from coffee. And and we want to first, you know, thank thank our guests for being here and being so open and um willing to share. I know it's and you guys hear us on the radio on well on the podcast all the time, and it's it's really I was really excited to have you both on. Yeah, it was really it's a really good idea to have you there and kind of put you in our Josh.

SPEAKER_05 54:04

Maybe we'll get invited more. We're not perhaps. Perhaps.

SPEAKER_02 54:11

But uh I do want to I I do want to just ask each of you, what if you can sit down with your younger self, what would you tell each other? What would you tell your younger self?

SPEAKER_00 54:21

So for me, I'm gonna for me, I think I told I will tell myself, for one, to learn uh more fluent Spanish. Because I didn't grow up speaking Spanish. So I am embarrassed when I do speak Spanish, especially when somebody hears me the first time. Um, but yeah, I gotta get over that. Uh the other thing is learn to dance. You know, multiple different types of well, learn, learn, not just move. Actually, learn how to dance because, you know, growing up, I didn't dance.

SPEAKER_04 55:02

And his mom's a dance.

SPEAKER_00 55:03

My mom loves to dance, and she still dances when she can, but as she gets older, it gets less and less. Um, the other thing is when you're about 17, 18, and you're at that party, and you're looking at that magazine, and you meet a girl named Isabel.

SPEAKER_03 55:21

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 55:22

Be nice to her from that point on, and don't waste those two or three years without her.

SPEAKER_01 55:30

Aww.

SPEAKER_00 55:33

Well, magazine was she's the just kidding, she's the best thing that's gonna happen to you.

SPEAKER_01 55:37

So look at you.

SPEAKER_00 55:40

Oh, you gotta find that here. But yes, that's work. That's beautiful. That's romance.

SPEAKER_04 55:47

See, guys, that's the that josh that I have every day.

SPEAKER_00 55:50

Not every day.

SPEAKER_05 55:53

For the majority. Tuesdays winds are the dark. Right? There's a realist. It goes back to back to the real world. Back to the real world. Well, actually. Well, actually.

SPEAKER_00 56:06

That's sweet, Josh. But yes, definitely um just be better.

SPEAKER_05 56:11

Oh, that'd be. Oh, that is such a cute photo.

SPEAKER_02 56:20

It's my favorite photo.

SPEAKER_05 56:21

My mom loved to dress us up.

SPEAKER_01 56:23

I have a photo in a blue sweater like that.

SPEAKER_04 56:25

We'll have to add that to our um zeme.

SPEAKER_00 56:29

But maybe and then you probably have like zoom. So y'all are gonna see my baby picture then.

SPEAKER_04 56:33

Oh, yeah. Oh, the Gerber picture.

SPEAKER_00 56:37

I think we're just gonna do a whole page of meme. We'll take a full page. I'm the middle child.

SPEAKER_05 56:46

No, I'm the middle child. Well, you're technically the middle child, and I'm middle-ish.

SPEAKER_00 56:51

Well, I feel the same way. I'm technically the middle child, but I was my old my siblings are older, so I'm kind of an older child too. So it's kind of the same thing.

unknown 56:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 57:00

Um, little Priscilla. Um God. I'll wait for this one.

SPEAKER_04 57:08

That always gets everyone. I know this question. Um it's okay to say no.

SPEAKER_05 57:12

It's okay. You don't have to carry the weight. Um it's really it's a balance, you know. You'll learn that in life. Um it's okay not to always have to be that protector because they are badass women and men in their lives, and they're gonna figure it out. So you don't always have to be there to catch anyone when they call it. Um and chase your dreams. Girl, you had big dreams. Yes, you had big dreams. Um so I think just like keep chasing those dreams and family-oriented um background of you know, you can do what puts you know, what you have on your mind, you can do it. Um I just didn't apply that in life like I should have early on in like in my high school years. So chase your dreams, fulfill your dreams, you're gonna be great. Um and I I also want to tell my younger self, speak up more. Um, as a middle child, and I I didn't get a chance to say it earlier, but as a middle child, because you have older siblings and you have younger siblings, um, I felt like I couldn't always say what I wanted to say. Um, I was either being too much or I was being like, because I was a very happy-go-lucky person. You still are. Like, yeah, it comes and goes. Very and uh very happy go-lucky, you know, and I was just like always just very free-spirited, and then you know, life happenings and things like that. It's like, hey, it's not always like you know, rainbows and butterflies. So I I kept, you know, I kept to myself a lot. Um and I just want to, you know, tell my younger self like just speak up more. Yeah, it's okay to speak to it. Your voice matters. Your voice matters your family can always be there. So I love my family dearly. I know that just you know, again, as a my younger self, we're we love each other hard. And I think because we love each other hard, um when we do, you know, when we don't see eye to eye, it's just like we each other we want to show each other our potential. Yeah, and we just need to, you know, listen to each other and and speak with you know kind words. Um and um you love hard and you fight hard. Love hard and fight hard, yeah, and keep that spirit. Um, my dad will will always tell us you're a fighter. I I raised you to be fighters. I love that. And he would tell me right now, miha, don't cry. Get it together, get it together. Um, and I just love that about my parents is that my dad is so strong and wants us to be strong in this crazy world. And my mom is so soft and tender, and it's just like, don't forget that that you can also be soft and tender um to the people that you love. So um, yeah, family is everything and keep keep going.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:46

All right. Well, thank you so much, guys, for being here, being saying yes to us. We really appreciate y'all. Um, before we close, do y'all have any last words that y'all want to say?

SPEAKER_05 1:00:59

Um, just thank you guys for inviting us. I mean, this, like you said, it's healing, like it's very therapeutic. Yeah. You know, you have a lot to do with that. This mic does something about the you gave us an outlet, you know, for me.

unknown 1:01:13

Therapy.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:14

I'm gonna we're gonna get y'all a P-word. I know.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:16

Uh if you heard Dina and Monica's um, if you haven't already, guys, it's amazing. Their love story is amazing. But Monica said she said it felt like a therapy session. I'm like, I'm telling you, it's like you get behind this mic and it's amazing.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:31

Word vomit.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:32

And and I don't know. I I hope I made my family proud. I'm sure you did.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:37

You're gonna be fine.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:39

I'm like, uh you know, you can't help but think it might be, you know, gonna say the wrong things or whatever, but I think I felt like I've I've kept to my authentic self. Oh, yeah, definitely. I love my husband and my daughter, and they're everything to me. And um, but no, I'm I really love the sessions.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:59

Yeah, um, I didn't I didn't know if I was ever gonna be on the show, honestly.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:06

Is he a bad spouse? Sounds like it.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:10

No, I just meant for the fact that I I you know I don't speak my mind enough for anything, and that was one of my main things of the notes here is when you know what I want to tell myself is that's one thing I forgot to say, and I wrote it here, but I forgot to say it because I got on this other part. But it's one thing is to speak up and and and you know, to my younger self is tell myself to speak up because my voice does matter. Um but that's just one thing I have never done. But no, I just never know I didn't know if I was gonna be on the show or not because I'm I don't speak up, so I don't know if I'm interesting in any way.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:44

You are very interesting. Very I learned a lot about you.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:47

Just do what I do, just do what I do.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:50

Do what I do, don't I do?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:52

But no, thank you for having me on here and for asking me questions that I would probably never have answers to. That I would never I would never answer to, actually. But yeah, thanks. I'm good.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:07

Well, I think one of the biggest takeaways from today's conversation is how much our childhood roles actually follow us into adulthood and into our relationships. Being first generation comes with its own experiences, but then when you add the sibling dynamics on top of that, whether you're the oldest, middle, or youngest, it really shapes how you navigate responsibility, family, and even marriage. And honestly, I think today prove that sometimes those differences are what balance each other out for sure. So, shout out to the middle children for surviving between the overachieving oldest kids and the spoiled youngest.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:43

Oh, for sure.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:44

And shout out to our spouses for being good sports um and just letting letting us put them on the podcast. Um, we really appreciate y'all. And letting us follow our dream for sure.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:57

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:58

Um and all of you, thank you for listening. And if you've enjoyed this episode, make sure you share it with someone who understands middle child energy or eldest child pressure. Don't forget to add us on TikTok and Instagram to stay up to date on all things cafecito and chaos. And we'll see you in the next episode. Do you want to sign us out?

SPEAKER_05 1:04:16

So, y'all be sure to leave some reviews if you want to hear more from the middle kids here. Um, leave a review and Issa will bring us back. We want to get back on. That's what I have more to say. All right, signing us out. Um, so until then, keep your coffee seat so close.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:34

And your boundaries closer.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:36

And remember, surviving your childhood doesn't make you crazy, it makes you a legend.