Mas allá de la Tradición

What does it mean to choose love — and family — at the same time?

In this powerful episode, Dina and Monica share their journey as a Mexican American lesbian couple who have been together for nearly 14 years. Their story is layered with culture, resilience, motherhood, caregiving, and deep commitment.

Monica is a proud mother of four and grandmother of four. Dina is the devoted caretaker to her aging mother. Together, they open up about what it was like coming out in Latino households where tradition, religion, and expectations run deep — and how they navigated those dynamics while building a life rooted in love.

This conversation goes beyond a coming-out story. It’s about redefining family, honoring elders while staying true to yourself, healing through community, and proving that queer Latino love not only exists — it thrives.

If you’ve ever felt caught between authenticity and belonging, this episode will remind you that you don’t have to choose. You can hold both.

Con orgullo y con amor, this is a story about staying, growing, and building a legacy of love.

Transcript

SPEAKER_05 0:04

Grab your compacito, your comadre energy, and maybe a little patience for your inner child, because today we're getting into it.

SPEAKER_03 0:16

Hola, welcome back. It's your comadrevero with your compadre Hugo holding it down today. Today's episode is about love that lasts, love that grows up, love that chooses family again and again. We're here sitting down with Dina and Monica, a Mexican-American couple that have been together for nearly 14 years. And when I say family is at the center of their world, I mean it. Monica is a mother of four and a proud grandma of four as well. Dina is a primary caregiver along with her brother and sister for her aging mother. So this isn't just a love story. It's a story about responsibility, loyalty, culture, and showing up. Because being queer in a Latino household doesn't just mean coming out, it means navigating tradition, it means honoring your elders. It means loving loudly in spaces that weren't always built for you. And what I love about their story is that it's not just about surviving family dynamics, it's about building one, blending one and protecting one. Today we're talking about their journey, their coming-out journey as Mexican-American women, what it was like to introduce each other to their families, how motherhood and caregiving shaped their relationship, and what 14 years of commitment really looks like. This episode is about orgullo, it's about sacrifice, it's about choosing love when it's complicated. So let's get into it.

SPEAKER_01 2:05

Thank you guys for being here. You guys ready? We're gonna start off deep and fast with some icebreakers. Alright, so first and foremost, is this cafecito with chaos? So, what's your coffee preference or your go-to order?

SPEAKER_02 2:17

Coffee would be probably, I like it, um dark, strong, and with a lot of um what's that, what's that alcohol called? Uh Kahlua? Kahlua. Yes, yes. That's my go-to.

SPEAKER_05 2:38

White chocolate mocha.

SPEAKER_01 2:40

Oh, you got fancy with it. Yeah, that's uh Starbucks. You need to try doing uh make your coffee like what you like and then put some um what is it? It's Irish whiskey. Uh Jameson. Oh. Try that. Okay. It it doesn't taste like anything. It's like a little kick to your coffee, but it doesn't taste like alcohol unless you pour a bunch. Oh, that's that's my go. That's one of my favorites when I so hold on.

SPEAKER_03 3:02

Is that a weekend coffee or is that uh I'm gonna go, I'm gonna get it.

SPEAKER_01 3:07

That's definitely a hey, hey, that's a weekend coffee on my days off, vacation coffee, but it is a good one in the morning if you want a little kick. Or if you had a long night the night before, it works out. Oh yeah, we had some of that at Isabel's house. That was a good one. That's the first time I had it, it was a peppermint one, that was good. Alright, then we'll we'll go into some deeper questions. Alright, so now we're just answering kind of a spitball. So would you rather have cafe or a margarita? Margarita coffee. Oh you'll you'll see who's the drinker in the relationship. Alright, are we choosing Selena or do you need a better?

SPEAKER_02 3:41

Selena.

SPEAKER_01 3:42

Selena. I knew y'all was gonna say Selena. Alright, who cooks? Well, who's the better cook? How about that?

SPEAKER_02 3:49

I think both of us. Yeah, we like to cook um together just because um we like to listen to music depending on what we're cooking. Like if we're put cooking Italian food, I like to play Italian music. Okay, you know, get in the mood, Mexican, of course, we always have our Tejano, uh Salina, uh stuff like that. So yeah, we pretty much we both but I'm gonna put you on the spot who cooks better.

SPEAKER_05 4:16

It depends on the mail.

SPEAKER_01 4:18

Okay, fair enough. Fair enough. And then I think we talked about this before we started uh shooting or like recording, but who's more likely to cry during a movie? Oh me. Oh yeah, I think we established it.

SPEAKER_05 4:31

But I cry as well in movies, yeah. Not in real life, not punk. Yeah, not real line, not punch media.

SPEAKER_01 4:38

Hey, not on the punch, everybody get that little monkey to support the monkey. Who what's the movie that gets you go that crying just like instantly? As soon as you see it, you know you're gonna start crying.

SPEAKER_05 4:53

I like to watch movies over and over and over. Just the other day I saw La Bomba is on Netflix. I watch it and I cry.

SPEAKER_01 4:59

It's checking on Netflix? Yeah. Alright, I'm about to check it out again a minute. That one is a sad movie.

unknown 5:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:04

The notebook gets me. Oh, that's good. No, look, I remember watching that the first time with with Priscilla and Maddie, and they looked at me like dad's gonna cry at the end. And yeah. Yeah, it's super sad. Yes, it is. Okay, so thank you guys for again. Thanks for being here, and then we'll kind of just get into it. Just feel comfortable. We're just gonna have a conversation. Really just uh glad to have you on so that everyone can get perspective on different upbringings and different um you know facets of our lives, being Hispanics, Latinos, Mexicans growing up in um an ever-changing country, things that change vastly, not always in our favor, but you know, things happen. So, um, would you like to tell us just a little bit about your how your household growing up, kind of just a little bit about yourselves, your dynamics, yeah, how big your household is, things like that?

SPEAKER_02 5:54

So my name is Dina. I am the youngest of five siblings. Um, the age difference between the oldest, which my sister Gloria, um, which is Veronica's mom. Uh we're 10 years apart. So right now I'm 52 years old, I'm maybe 53. Uh, and so she was the oldest. Um she's no longer with us, she's our guardian angel right now. But um I guess growing up, of course, I was the youngest, so by the time it came to me, I think there was like no punishment, no rules. I think my elders got all that.

SPEAKER_01 6:35

Um the typical baby of the family. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:38

So that happened. So I got away with a lot of stuff. Um what else can I tell you about me? Um, I think I was the only one in my family that uh played sports. So I remember growing up all my siblings coming to watch me play soccer, including my parents. Um and that was something that's something that uh I can never forget. I still to this day play soccer at 52 years old. And uh yeah, now I'm coaching my great niece. Um, so it's just something that's really in my roots as far as um sports like. Um let's see. So I think I am more like my dad in a way, as far as um just kind of outgoing, funny. Uh I'm not shy. I can I can pretty much um pick up a conversation with a stranger. I say hi to whoever wants to say hi back to me. Um I'm a hugger, I love to hug people, even strangers. Um, you know, my mom is more of a serious type of person. Um so I would say I'm more I'm I'm more like my dad than than anything. But um, as far as my mom, what I take my character characteristics about my mom. Um I think just uh very big in religion, you know. So she was she's I don't think I've ever heard her cuss growing up. Like she wasn't a drinker, she never cussed, stuff like that. So um, but I'm more like my dad as far as drinking and you know, throwing greetals here and there.

SPEAKER_01 8:23

On that religious side, I have a question because I think this is what my mom told me, if I'm if I'm not mistaken. But I think my mom said that I think it was your mom that one that started getting Spanish masses at Good Shepherd. Yes, right? Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_02 8:35

They're one of the first families. One of the first families, Hispanic families in Garland.

SPEAKER_01 8:38

My mom remembers your mom from that. So it's a very small garland. I don't know what everybody migrated to Garland. Yeah. But like my mom remembers Priscilla's parents because they lived down the street from my grandparents' house. Uh, and so her dad knows my grandparents. But then when uh I think my mom saw pictures of Veto's mom uh when we were like growing up, like she's like, Oh, I know I know her. And I said, her her family is the one that started the Spanish matches and Good Shepherd, yeah. Look at that, small one. Yeah, everybody everybody in Garland knows each other.

SPEAKER_02 9:07

Yeah, true. So um again, and we're very, very tight family. Like I just remember um my parents, you know, they came from Mexico, and I think we our house was kind of like the the home that all of our um family from Mexico came and migrated to our house. And I just remember having a small house in Garland, two-bedroom, but we had it full, like anywhere from 15 family members that lived there. Um, and just it was just never an empty home. So that's what uh I loved about growing up is never an empty home. It's different now because everybody's grown up, gone different ways, but at the same sense, when it comes to it, we always get together when possible.

SPEAKER_01 9:55

Yeah, y'all are them parties are never dull. They're fun to be a part of.

SPEAKER_05 10:01

When you go um growing up, uh I guess what Dean and I have in common, I'm the baby of the family as well. Uh family of four, three older brothers. Um my parents divorced when I was the first time, five, and then the second time seven. But yeah, my mom remarried my dad. So um, so my mom at probably the age of seven, she was a single mom to all of us. So she was strict, um, more on me because I was a girl, so you know, she was stricter on me than my brothers, but um we were close too, I guess, because my mom had my oldest brother at 15. So they were like siblings. Like my mom always said that my brother was like her old my mom was his oldest sister, yeah. So, and like my brother was more of my father figure because my father wasn't in the picture, and um and yeah, she was um religious. We went to St. Pius, you know. I did first communion and confirmation, and all of us did, and but I think once I got to maybe junior high, she just didn't have control. I was a little wild, you know, after that. Like snuck her car out, and she never knew because my mom was a big drinker, and I think that's why I'm not a drinker now. Like, I like it, don't get me wrong, but my whole life I was like, I don't want to be like that. I don't because you know, I wanted to raise my kids. Not that she wasn't a good mom, she was a good mom. She always had a roof over her head and clothed and food and everything, but that part of the motherhood, you know, I wanted to have a better relationship with my kids and not ever see me like that. So that's why it I love to, you know, have a nice good margarita every now and then, but also I, you know, know my limits just because of what I growing up. So, but I mean, um, it was a great, a great uh, you know, home, even though it was broken, like all my friends had, you know, parents, you know, my you know, and I never had that, you know, because my mother never remarried. She never, you know, found her while I was young, while I was still living in the house. So, but I mean, you know, I look back and I think I'm you know, all the sacrifices she made, you don't realize that until you get older. But it was a great home. It was the same like Dina said, we were close. We are very, very tight family, especially like cousins and Theas and Theals. I mean, just like now, like I do a cousin weekend with my cousins because I'm trying to keep together like my parents and her siblings did on my Thea.

SPEAKER_01 13:00

So someone's gonna have to.

SPEAKER_05 13:01

Someone has to exactly, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 13:04

I try, but we all have that one cousin. She ain't listening. I'm kidding. I still love her. I still love her. We had it's that's a work in progress. But um, you can kind of mention uh, you know, you guys growing up and being a little bit of different of age and different generation. Uh, did you guys ever grow up hearing any LGBTQ terms or anything in the household? Or is it something that y'all ever discussed or something that ever came up?

SPEAKER_02 13:29

Um no, not at all. Like um, you know, everyone asked, like, so how did you know? How did you know that you were gay? And I didn't. Actually, I I you know I didn't even, it wasn't something like I woke up and I'm like, oh, I'm gay. No, it's like I knew there were some feelings that I had, for example, like I don't know why I thought that my third grade teacher was hot, you know. Me too. And I was like, Ms. Gordon, oh shit up, you know, I was like, this is weird, like why do I feel this way, you know? But then again, you know, I had crushes on guys, like I was like, ooh, he's cute, you know. You know, had like boyfriends or whatever, you know, but but it was just something that it was this feeling that I couldn't explain. And I I myself couldn't explain to myself, like, why do I have these feelings? So I never really acted upon it. Um, you know, growing up, and like I said, I I did have, you know, boyfriends um throughout my high school year and even in my 20s. Um, but it was just nothing that was talked about in in the family. It wasn't it isn't like it is now back then, you know, in the 80s, 90s. It wasn't something that you see on TV. There's on social media, so you definitely, you know, but I'm sure it was known, you know, to people that I guess were really out and knew where to go to be around those kind of, not those kind of people, but to be around that kind of society, you know. That like inner circle that circle. Yeah, like, you know, everybody knows about the neighborhood, which is Cedar Springs. Hey, you know, yeah, you know always popping. Yeah. So I didn't I didn't know about that area until my, you know, probably mid-20s, late twenties when I finally um, you know, came out to my best friend. Um, I was just scared. Um, my thing was being afraid that I was gonna be disowned by my family, like they were gonna shun me and I didn't know where to go. So I never never wanted to come out until I think I was ready. So as far as your question, um it being something known within our family, no. I that wasn't something that we talked about. Oh, sorry. No, that's really good.

SPEAKER_01 15:56

No, that's it makes it easier for for me to ask because I don't want to, you know, it's we're not treading lightly, but it is some of these questions get personal. So yeah. That was a really good, that was a really good like perspective on it.

SPEAKER_02 16:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 16:08

So yes, it was. My mom's youngest sibling was gay, or is gay still to this day. I mean he's alive. Um, so but they didn't like we didn't call him gay or they didn't use that term, like, because he had a partner, man, for 20. I was, man, when I started realizing, I guess I was in elementary, so I'm gonna say, let's say eight or nine when I figured out, like, okay, he has this guy with him all the time, you know. And then, you know, I asked my mom questions, and she's like, Yeah, that's his boyfriend. And so, I mean, it was open. He would bring him to our family and everything. So, you know, that was um, it was open, so nobody shunned him or nobody, you know, said anything negative about it.

SPEAKER_03 16:55

So which is great because I mean it was a different uh you know, like it's not like my aunt said it is now. It is so different. I mean, you know, right then, you know, you had to hide it, yeah. You know, and that's cool that he wasn't open about it, and your family accepted it.

SPEAKER_05 17:12

Everybody, and he would like they would never like hold hands or anything like that. They were they were respectful, you know, yeah to the family, but we knew like growing up, we were like, we knew it, we knew it, you know, but you just didn't talk about it.

SPEAKER_03 17:24

I don't think was there anyone that you recall um that was kind of thinking like ooh, you might know so not that I can think of, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:38

So uh Monica, so you growing up with that being something that you it was comfortable when you guys talking about, or you guys knew about it in your family. When was it that you that you realized, like, all right, like I'm she's hot.

SPEAKER_05 17:52

I'm gonna say in high school, because I had I knew of a girl that she was gay. I knew it, everybody knew it, everybody talked about it because I mean she was good at every sport, every sport.

unknown 18:05

I'm gonna go.

SPEAKER_01 18:05

The cliche. She's good at every everything.

SPEAKER_05 18:08

She is at everything, and so that's what I knew, but I just felt like for the girls in my family, I felt like we were supposed to get married, have babies, and the nor the social norm, quote unquote. Yeah, right. So I mean, yeah, I I still I knew, I knew. So so you had like relationship with men and yes, and that was more, that was because my mom was an alcoholic, and I told you I got a little wild and in junior high it started, so I was you know, boycrazy. I'm like, you know, so I got pregnant at 15. So, and my mom was I mean, I didn't even want to get married, and he didn't want to get married, but she was like, No, I'm not gonna have a daughter pregnant and not wet, you know, out of wedlock. You're gonna get married. So it was forced because I mean he didn't even want to.

SPEAKER_01 19:06

We were you were like it happened, it happened, but so um and if you want to share, uh you're more than welcome to. Uh was there someone that you guys felt confident in telling first before anybody else?

SPEAKER_02 19:25

Um, yeah. So for me, I think when I finally needed to tell someone, it was my best friend, her name is Valerie Klein. I remember um I was probably maybe about 25, 26 years old. We we played soccer. Um, and I don't know what it was. I was just like, you know, I needed to let somebody know, and I was like, you know, just kind of I remember we had just finished playing our soccer game indoor at Spectrum, and we would always everybody would hang out afterwards because they had a bar there, of course. And so um I just tell her, I said, Val, I need I need it, I need to let you know something. And she's like, Yeah, what? I said, uh I said, I'm gay. And she's like, girl, I mean you, you know, that's she's like, we knew you were like, Why, what do you mean? Why I can't tell. I'm all like trying to keep it secret, and everybody thinks that I'm gay. Like, why? What what is it? Do I have a rainbow on my forehead? What's going on?

SPEAKER_01 20:30

Did they did they tell you anything?

SPEAKER_02 20:31

Like, no, so she was like, it's okay. She's like, it's okay, you know. I mean, you're you're you, you know, we know you for who you are. I mean, if if that's your preference, it's alright, you know. It's not gonna change the way we feel about you. And um, so I just remember crying, and I was just like, I just don't know, you know. I I still don't I don't understand this, you know, like, but it's just that's just my feelings, like I feel more attracted to women than I do to men, and um I just needed to let somebody know. And she was like, it's okay, you know, we love you for who you are, and and so I kept it from from you know, so once I told her, then of course our circle of friends, they all, you know, knew about it and accepted it. And it was it was you know like nothing.

SPEAKER_03 21:17

Um so I I remember when you told me, I I to this day I still remember because we used to I used to we used to work at the school, so we were off on like summer. And we you know, we went to the pool, my other aunt's pool, Adela, we were there and we were drinking, and you know, he alcohol, pool, and everything, and true series it's a true serum. Yeah, and my aunt's like, hey, I gotta tell you something, and I'm like, Okay. And she she told me, and I was like, and I told her the same, yeah, I think I already knew, you know. And she was like, But how? And you know, it's just kind of like when my brother came out to me, too, you know. He you know, I remember I was I was pregnant at home and he was at school and he told me the same thing. He's like, Sister, I gotta tell you something. And he told me and I was like, I already knew. You know, and it's like you you know these things and and it feels I I I wanted it to for her to tell me so that you know that she so she can get it out, right? So she I remember her telling me and I'm like yeah I love you. I love you for who you are. I mean that's that to me I mean you know it's whatever you know you love who you love and that's it and we're gonna love that person and I can honestly say I I love Monica you know I was like you know she's a great person you know she watches out for my aunt and you know she cares for her and you know they care for each other.

SPEAKER_06 22:43

Right.

SPEAKER_03 22:44

And you know and and I love that and I know my mom would love that too you know so but yeah I remember when when you told me and Dang I must have been uh really drunk I was like I'm like what yeah I remember when you told me and we were like in the little tubes and and you were like holding my hand and you know it's like and I was like we know like it's okay the I you know you cry I always cry it was hard it was hard it was sweat it was sweat it was sweat but I mean I mean it's true I mean you you know you love who you love at the end of the day you know as cliche as it sounds it's true though love is love like what does it matter like I don't know that's just my like my take is it's always been like growing up it you know uh like that it wasn't something that we talked about either no about we like there's shows where they show like you know like hints like okay this is this character is supposed to be gay or or something like that and um but it was never really talked about and it in nowadays like we were talking about this before the show started like we can drop my daughter off at school and and they're talking about it freely and openly and like I know some of her friends have relationships with just whoever they they love.

SPEAKER_01 23:48

Like it's not an issue anymore. Like well no it's still an issue. I mean I I won't we won't sugarcoat there's still issues people still have oh yeah reservations over it but like the younger generation is more open and accepting of it. Like it's definitely not the way you like people get mad because they're shirts at Target. Like why what do you care? Exactly don't like it, don't buy it like it's exactly but yeah so but uh what you like just me personally to ask and like do you felt like do you feel like there was more pressure to try to not say anything or try to oh yeah yeah definitely I think my for me the pressure was more like um like I said I didn't want my family to be like you know push me away my parents not accept it and be like you know we don't love you you know how can you you know what what's the family gonna say that's what that's one of the main things within Mexican families is always always worried about what someone and it's in and I just remember um when I finally told myself like when I when I meet the person that I know that I'm gonna be with for the rest of my life and that's when I'm really gonna come out to my family.

SPEAKER_02 25:04

So if they do not accept me and they shun me away at least I know that I'm gonna have my life partner. You know I'm gonna have my my life partner whether uh you know if I don't have the rest of my family but I think that was my main thing is not being accepted by my family. I didn't I could care less about what everyone else thought it was more so just my family you know um so that was the the pressure of me not wanting to come out and I also I just remember like my mom always saying you know no you know you better not get pregnant at an early age so that was another thing I never had sex with like I you know because I was always scared that I was gonna get pregnant and disappoint my mom in doing that so maybe it was my mom that made me gay you know she's like don't have sex okay I guess I'll have sex with a girl she can't get me pregnant you know not these days but in the future we all seen that movie Mr.

SPEAKER_03 26:13

Mom so what about you Monica?

SPEAKER_05 26:17

I mean how well I was older because it was uh let's see I was what 42 yeah and I had lost my husband a year before that or a little a little over a year and I had I didn't like I felt like a teenager again because I started getting a wild air at my butt like going you know I got pregnant and married at the age of 15 years old. I never really had a childhood I never I never did because my husband my first husband was eight years older than me so from 16 until 21 he went clubbing. I stayed at home and then when I became 21 you know he was like oh no we're not going out of going out yeah you know so so anyways that marriage lasted like eight years but I had two wonderful children from it and then so my second husband um I had two children with him and then when he passed away that's when honestly with myself I started thinking I mean okay I started going out with some high school friends and started getting really attracted to women so I came out to my best friend from seventh grade and she thought it was crazy.

SPEAKER_02 27:46

She goes you're it's a face it's a face then that's what she said she goes you're just being a teenager and so I'm like no I'm serious I you just don't know so within that year or it was after the year Dina sent um put a thing on Facebook um about some dear diaries and she's like if you would like if you would like to read my dear diaries send me your email and I'll email them to you and then she started doing these happy hours so and I knew her I knew of Dina since my 20s and so I had I had a little you know secret crush that no one knew about I'm like dang she's good at soccer she you know and so I knew soccer didn't do it yeah so I started you know we started reading those emails and stuff and then I went to one of her happy hours and then your birthday one because it was your birthday month April and then the next month is when we went to Ebba's party as friends and so after that party I went back to Britton and I said I like this girl this is and I showed her I was like this is her this is this is who I have had a crush for so long so deep inside me because I remember I'm like I'm not supposed to do that that's not you know and here I have kids now and I'm like okay how's this gonna work so she was the first one I came out to and it's the thing about us you know soccer you got that soccer world everybody knows each other you know so we actually played against each other and I knew back then that I knew that you know she was married and she was she was actually a really good soccer player she had this left kick that was like oh man she's you know she's awesome so I knew I knew of her as well but I knew that she was married and she had kids you know and I wasn't that type of person where you know I'll wrecker yeah like I'm not gonna you know just and that and that wasn't my thing and I don't know why people thought that I was like this you know person that that I was just like I don't know uh just messing around with all kinds of people that wasn't me I don't know why why people would always thought that about me but I was just I was just outgoing you know I like she said like I I would have happy hours and when it was my birthday you know I I would have these big being social people I was a social yeah I was a social butterfly you know I was always because I was single you know I was like you know and if I didn't meet somebody you know I was single I could I could do whatever I wanted right so people had that thing oh Dina you're with Dina why you know she's but it I I was like yeah but anyway so the player cut yeah I'm like I'm like what really I'm like okay if people thought that about me wow she got game so so like she mentioned um this friend of ours Eva um or Flo it was Flo right Flo's birthday yes yeah so I didn't want to we her party was in Eulis and I just remember we got the same email and I asked her I was like hey you want to drive together like I said not even that wasn't even my thought at all it was more just like a friendship you know it's like so yeah so um so we talked from I went to her house in Mesquite we drove all the way to Eulis and we just hit the conversation and it never stopped and from that day and like I said I never even thought the thought never came across my head that this would be the person that I would be with 14 years later and from you we're you're in confidence with people that we love you so well let me finish until the next day uh do you want to tell that story?

SPEAKER_05 31:45

Well I'm not gonna tell it all but I'm gonna tell a little bit so okay at that party Dee was with another group drinking and drinking so I was with another group because there was a bunch of girls there a bunch of soccer friends I mean it was a huge party it was at this party it was at Flo's house and so this one girl Flo was a chef or is a chef rather and so she invited one of her little helpers in the kitchen this girl and I'm sorry I I like all people all colors I'm not trying to discriminate but she was a white girl I'm sorry and she could say you're on the you're on the Hispanic podcast we say she can't say no she's very bright um all these guys at work want me I mean look at my boobs and all and I'm like like I was like and I'd already come out to my friends so they were in there they they already knew that I was just you know um that I'd come out and I'm like I tell my friend Eva I said if this girl don't shut up I said I am so sick of her she's getting on my nerves so finally I said look B and I had a bathing suit on and of course I was a light 60 pounds lighter so don't judge and I said B look at this I said this is four kids and I'm 40 years old and the lesbians were like oh my gosh but she was on the other side so she didn't see it I was in the ball I was in a party I was in the so then the next day she said so the next week in the night because it was yeah we already drank too much and it flows like nobody's going home. Yeah you listen to Mesquite that was far as a longer it was gonna be especially after drinking so everybody just slept or whatever. So the next morning we get up and they tell Dina that story she's like what so we're driving home and I said all right I'm gonna let you go because I'm gonna go pick up my kid and then we had brunch at did you go to brunch with us? Yeah yeah yeah yeah oh yeah at the little Mexican place on the lake oh god Primos primos primos so we go there and we have brunch and we're bloody Marys because we're sobered up then uh I get home and I get this text and said hey I didn't get to see your boobs I got the story boobs that's a good line I don't need it anymore that's a good line I could have used it ago hey I'm gonna put that's all she wrote and you're the last person that's seen my boobs my doctors oh my god yeah I'm blushing my knees is here it's all good it's all good so did your did your kids say have anything to say over like what what transpired over so after that she was just my friend so she would come over she'd have dinner and um I think the Mavs were in the playoffs with San Antonio the Spurs boo spurs I know so but I like the spurs I know it's let us slide she came over and she was sitting with my oldest who right now this week turned 33 and then me and Christina were on the other couch thank you because we were spurs on spurs and mavericks and I would have kicked her out they were cheer we cheered and everything so after that they went home and that was probably like the second time she'd been over and I'm like I gotta tell them because I'm not no she'd come over a few nights I'm like you gotta go before my kids wake up I don't want to out the window yeah she um but then I finally said I can't do this I can't do this to them so I sat them all down and this is four kids at the time so at the time oh my gosh so if Josh is 33 I'm just gonna say Zach was probably eight Christina she was a sophomore so 1516 Josh 18 and then Alyssa was already on her own like 22 so I but everybody was there except Alyssa because Alyssa was already married and lived on her own. So I told the kids I said sit down because I want to tell y'all something and I said um I like somebody and then I said and I really want to know how y'all feel about this I said it's the girl that's been over here Dina and they're like mom we knew you liked her and I said so did you know that I was gonna tell you I was gay they're like no but we know she's gay again Dina over here turning people and like they were like I'm gonna love you no matter what and whoever you love we love.

SPEAKER_01 36:42

Oh that's beautiful that is we established that Dina got game Dina got game so with with all that being said do you think there was any like different expectations like of the family like after you guys have now come out and they know it was like did anything change you think um so for me you know it was really it was a little bit harder for me to kind of finally come out to my parents like I said before like I said when I'm gonna come out to my family it's gonna be when the person that's gonna be with you.

SPEAKER_02 37:15

You're not just gonna bring someone yeah I just that just wasn't me so I think I was what 32 I think 32 well I was in my 30s so um I guess you know Monica had been coming around and um I just remember I was um my mom and I were in the car. I don't know where we were going but I just remember being in the car and I remember my mom asking a lot of questions. Yes a senora yes talking about Monica like can I say yeah you know and I said finally I just like I just need to say yeah I just need to say it I said um I must it's alguien and then she's like she had already asked questions about her and I kind of said you know she was married but her husband passed away and blah blah blah you know so then she was like I said see um then she was just like I said so it was more like she asked she just couldn't understand it but then after that like she didn't question it but she knew you know but even though I came out to them they they we didn't talk about it she Monica would come over to family functions and at that time I think I had already moved in with you right we were living together I think it was also more that they really didn't they weren't rude to her they or my mom wasn't you know mean my like that anything like that it was more I think that if you're not married why are you leaving us like it was more like I left them alone you know that since I'm not married I should still be living under their household I should still be with taking care of them but I told her that no that this is who I'm with you know so like I said it was never talked about again but they knew that Monica and I were together you know um and it just it was kind of just that you know but as far as her family oh my god it was one of the most loving accepting like I remember when Monica you know told her mom about me and her siblings the just the way they just came and just gave me a hug and and told me you know as long as you make my daughter happy you know it doesn't matter and and it was never I could I I could just go I mean I would call Mama Mary and and it was just one of these feelings like you know I wish that I wish that my family was like that towards Monica and you know as far as you know Veto and and my nephew John all them they they accepted Monica and lover but the way that her siblings and her mom accepted me it was it was just amazing and I just you know Mama Mary's in heaven now and you know I we were both there and I remember you know when we knew that she was almost uh gonna leave us one night we were when we were in the room with her I remember Mama Mary grabbing my hand and Monica's hand and and she even said she was like you know y'all love one another you know she wanted us to hug you know and show her love to each other you know just you know you give Monica a hug and you know take care of her and it was just something that I will never forget remember babe what did she say always love each other and take care of each other yeah and but they they they never even to this day her still her brothers you know her older brother always gives me this hug that just is this very meaningful very one of those hugs that just takes your breath away you know but it was it was it was a good feeling it was it was something really nice that we both were able to come out to each other's family and you know um the acceptance you know whether my family's acceptance wasn't like her family but I know that my family loves Monica you know I mean no matter what they know you know I mean 14 years and lesbian years that's like the hundred you know but yeah yeah like I said I I love Monica.

SPEAKER_03 42:45

I mean she was you know like I said takes care of my aunt you know watches out for her and you know and and we we shared moments together we worked together you know for a little bit and you know she would watch Cam pick him up and you know somebody we needed at the time too because you know around that time it was when you know my mom had just passed away. So it was kind of like honestly like a like an angel like kind of in a way because you know she she helped out a lot you know and she um I can truly say I I really love Monica and I love being around her.

SPEAKER_01 43:22

I love being around her family her kids you know like our our my my daughters growing up with you know her grandkids they you know they call each other cousin and it's it's it's beautiful um I know since I've since we've hanging out like at like your family functions I I would have figured y'all had been together forever like 14 just seems like a lot longer than like I don't know it's just natural like you see it like it's like they've been together like they're an old married couple they've been together forever. Forever it doesn't it I honestly thought it was longer than that to be honest.

unknown 43:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:55

So um we've we've answered a lot of these questions So um, I guess I want to ask like you know, who said I love you first?

SPEAKER_01 44:10

Yeah, what was my response every time? Yeah, let's hear this one. I want to hear it.

SPEAKER_05 44:16

What was your response?

SPEAKER_01 44:18

Ditto.

SPEAKER_02 44:22

Well, okay, so let's go back within our dating time. So I remember I told her, I said, okay, so if we're you know gonna make this happen or we're gonna, you know, come out and let everybody know that we're a couple, I'm like, to be honest with you, like if it's gonna work out, I'm like, it's if it's not working out by six months, then that's my time.

SPEAKER_05 44:46

Like I was on the six-month label. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:50

I think like I could pay the evening of a year.

SPEAKER_02 44:56

Six months with food. But uh, of course, here we go, you know, 14 years later. But I mean, I mean, you gotta be honest, you know. But um, another thing that, you know, it it was it wasn't it wasn't, you know, all peaches and cream, you know, it was it was really hard at the beginning of our relationship, just because, you know, um, you know, I was single, you know. I I didn't don't have kids, you know. I come and go, play soccer, and go hang out with my friends and do what I want one day. Yeah, you know. Yeah. And um so that was very hard at the beginning, you know, just because you know she did have four kids, which to me that wasn't even that wasn't even a question in in in my head. Like, you know, they're like, but she's got four kids, and I'm like, okay, yeah, you know, what's what's the I mean, what's the big deal? Like I it doesn't bother me. That never that was never a a question in my head, like I said, her having four kids, and especially the youngest one was at that time. Seven or eight. Yeah, seven or eight, you know. So um, I think it was more of for me, is that I'm now with someone. So I don't have that that liberty, that that, you know, just get up and go when my friends call, hey, we're gonna do this, hey, we're gonna do that. So for the first year, that was that was a big game changer, you know. And like I said, I think it took a good three years, maybe. And um, even within those three years, you know, there's still there were still things that were going on with us, not so far with our relationship, but also her younger son um was getting in a lot of trouble, and I wasn't used to, I didn't know how to handle something like that, you know. But I knew that I loved her, and I knew that I wasn't just gonna get up and go just because you know she's having trouble with her child, which which it was like a five-year it was five years that from sixth grade, so 12 all the way until 18, more than that. Yeah, more. Yeah, so so like I said, I mean, just because um, I mean, if you if you don't love this person, then you know, even she said she's like, you don't have to stay with me, you know. I know that I have a uh my child is going through a lot of stuff, and she I remember her telling me one time, like, you don't, you know, if you want to get up and and go, I understand. And you know, you do think about it, you know, you you kind of think like, you know, well, is this is it time, you know, is it time for us to call it quits? But then I think I'm like, but but I love her, you know? Yeah, I'm like, what what I'm not gonna find another person like her, you know. So I you know, I remember we both cried and I said, no, I'm I'm I'm gonna we're gonna make it work. We're I'm here. I'm here to we're gonna figure it out, you know. And we did, you know, it we it was it was rough. It was, I'm gonna guess, I mean, it was really rough, but we got through it, and and I remember um we took my mom to uh Mexico because she wanted to go to the um the basilica because she she had to uh what is it when you have una manda. So I remember my siblings and I taking my mom at the time because she wanted to to do that, and I remember I took a picture of Zach with me and we went to the basilica. I remember there's uh I think you could put your um whatever you need help with. There's uh they're at the altar, and I remember putting yeah and I remember dropping Zach's picture in there and praying and and saying, please, you know, bring them back home, you know. And I remember coming back and I told Monica and I said, This is what it did, and it's gonna work, and yeah. He's finally, finally, you know, it it I think our prayers were answered, and he's so much better, you know. He's got two kids and you know, doing great. So um I think you know, the moral of the story is like I mean, it's you know being married, you know, it's it's rough, you know. You can't just give up just because of one bump in the road, you know. Um, you gotta figure it out. And and it's still, you know, we still, you know, it's right now it's really hard just because also I care for my mom, and you know, she and I, we only see each other maybe.

SPEAKER_05 50:11

Maybe like three three nights out of the week, and the other she's caring for her mom, and that's kind of like like she just said, you hit bumps and you get through them, you keep going, kind of like with Zach, and that's where I am. I told her, you know, you gotta do what you gotta do for your mom. I don't have my mom anymore, so I'm not gonna tell you, hey, our relationship comes first. No, your mom comes first. And to me, she taught me how to love my mom when she was here because my mom, our relationship wasn't that good until I think I met Dina, and she would tell me, call your mom, call your mom, you gotta call your mom. And so I got to to the point where every day after work I would call my mom every single day, and I admire her for that.

SPEAKER_04 51:16

She taught me that, even though they say you can't teach old dogs new tricks, you can because she taught me to love my mom more than I think I ever did, because I had a lot of resentment to her drinking and missing so much of my life.

SPEAKER_05 51:32

Like she said, she did sports, and I did too, but all my friends, their parents were my cheerleaders, not my mom, because my mom was more her job was to be at home, to cook and clean, and have a great perfect house. Like my mom's house was not a mansion, it was a little video house, but it was immaculate. Like my aunts would tease her and say, Mary, we can eat out of your toilet because it was immaculate, she kept a clean house. But so that's why I, as a mother, made sure I went to every sporting event, every school event, every anything. I never missed anything until I got with Dina and I started working nights for Kaufman County, and she stepped in, and I did miss some of Christina's soccer games, but I really didn't because my partner was there, and it made up.

SPEAKER_01 52:28

So do you think some of that t tends from from being like a growing up Mexican? Like family's really important. But it sounds like you both understand, like, like you we we know there's people that hey, it doesn't work because I have to be with my family. Well, well, so do I, but it seems like you guys understand, like it has it goes both ways. Like we it's important to both of you, and you guys respect that.

SPEAKER_02 52:50

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Just yeah, I mean, it's it's just like any any marriage with you know, you got your your own family, you know, you got your set of parents, you have your set of parents, and you know, it can sometimes get, you know, like especially holidays, I think, you know, whose family gonna we're gonna spin with and you know fun topic every year. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so but you know, you just make it work.

SPEAKER_01 53:18

Yeah. I think the key to in like we can have a whole episode on on that, but it is work. Everyone thinks like, oh, you guys are in love and it's so easy, you guys y'all nah it it it you gotta work to get there. Um, but I think I don't know, do you guys think you had like a different set of challenges, also like additional steps, like you're or you know, you didn't you're you're Latinos already one thing, and then now you're y'all are a couple, it's another thing. Is was there anything else you think that was challenging to add to to y'all's relationship?

SPEAKER_05 53:50

I think Dina hit it just kind of the biggest challenge was because you know, I had already been married, had kids, so I knew more responsibility. Not that she wasn't responsible, but she just didn't understand that part of being like you know, um it was just like she said, she was single for so long. It was it was hard. That's an adjustment to share. And it was, and she didn't want to say no to her friends, right? But the thing is, what was hard too is because her best friend to this day, after 14 years, is still single, and she didn't understand that Dina had somebody now, you know, and they didn't want to share her, like her little friend, it's a little like a little posse, and I mean me trying to come into that little scene. Yeah, they were like you were talking about mean girls, yeah. Yeah, this is Art Dina. This even just the other day, where did we go? And oh, to her her best friend, lost her father, so she had a little memorial and um had some barbecue and all you can drink. And it's funny because she even said it, she's or the other guy that spoke said it. Well, you know, my friends, they like to drink, so we gotta open barbecue. And so here's Dina's friends bringing her by the dozen. And so this one guy, poor guy, he just wanted to go get one more drink and they cut him off. And I said, golly. So I said, Let me give him your beer. And then her friend's like, did you pay for that? I said, no, because they're free. It's gonna give it away.

SPEAKER_01 55:30

You know what? I'm gonna take that beer bag that I gave you, you're gonna get in trouble.

SPEAKER_05 55:36

Like, they're still like, you know, overprotect. I'm like, we've been married 14 years, get back.

SPEAKER_01 55:41

Maybe no, they know they're just testing you.

SPEAKER_06 55:45

Yeah, still, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 55:47

I just want to say this too about like our relationship. I did I wanted to say this earlier and I forgot, and then we went on to something else about who you told in your family. Yeah, and you know, like she kind of said that part about my siblings and my mom, but and that's where I lost it. But another that was very important after I told my kids, it was actually before my mom and before my siblings, it was my grandmother. And God, let me think 14 years ago, she was nine, no, she was 88, and I called her because I couldn't tell her in person because I didn't want her if she I was just afraid. So I told her that I fell in love with someone and that she was a woman, and she said, and she was 100% Catholic. My grandmother was a very strong Catholic Christian woman. She said, I don't care who you love as long as they're good to you. And after that, then I was like, Okay, if grandma said that, then I can tell my mom that grandma's okay with it. So, and my grandparents were married 73 years. Oh wow, and I just lost her last October, and she was 102 with her mind, and she still asked Dina the last visit that we went to see her because my brother called and said, This is it, and we actually were my oldest brother and myself, and my two daughters were the last ones to speak to her before she went to sleep and went to heaven, and she said the same thing tell Dina I said hi and take care of her, and she loved Dina today.

SPEAKER_02 57:31

Yeah, that was another person that really when I was introduced to her. It was it was it's a feeling that I can't I can't even explain, you know, to have an acceptance like that of uh somebody that doesn't even know you, but just it it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Love is like you say, love is love, and it was a very welcoming um moment. And I yeah, every time I'd go visit Grandma Rosie, it was it was it was just very heartfelt. Yeah, and her home was just very, it just felt very nice to walk in there and and the feeling that you get and the love, the comfort, the comfort, even um even my grandpa, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 58:18

And my grandpa was a quiet man, he he didn't honestly didn't like too many people. He didn't, he wasn't a people person, he wasn't and I remember one day we were going over with the kids. Remember, we said, let's go, let's surprise them and go have lunch. So we're on Northwest Highway, probably 10 minutes from her house. And I said, Grandma, we're gonna come over, we're gonna visit you, and grandpa, and we're gonna stop at Chick-fil-A and get something to eat. And she's like, Me, I'm so glad you called. Grandpa just fell. And I mean, we were there faster than 10 minutes, and I remember my daughters were panicking, well, mainly one, and panicking, and and my mom was even with us, and um Dina just went in there and like you would think she was a nurse, she knew exactly what to do. She's like, just get away. And then she told us how to pick them up, and we picked them up, and we got him in the wheelchair, and we took them to the emergency room.

SPEAKER_02 59:13

Yeah, and she like nothing like well, because at that time, you know, my dad too, um I you know, I was caring for my dad when he was still there, and and I just it's just I think it's just in you, you know, it's just uh that that caretaking, you know, it doesn't matter who it is, you know. I can see it's stranger. They needed a a helping hand. I'm I'm gonna help them, you know. I have it it does that doesn't bother me, you know. And so even, you know, when grandpa was laying there, I just went and just picked them up. I don't even know how I had the strength, you know, and it's just yeah, she did it. Just something that that comes within you, and um, I mean that's just the kind of person I am, you know.

SPEAKER_05 59:58

I just and after that, every time, like when Dina wouldn't go visit, it was just me. He would always say, How's Dina? How's Dinah?

SPEAKER_02 1:00:05

Like he knew, yeah, because I saw him in his you know boxers, yeah. Grandpa, pick up your boxers, they're a little too low for me.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:18

One thing that keeps coming up, and and like like like we mentioned, you you guys are answering questions that did like I y'all read the script and just went in different orders, like but one thing that keeps coming up is like the religion and being Catholic and happy Lent season, everybody that's celebrating. Um is there s anything that affected maybe religion? Like, is there religion playing any part of anything? Like the you know, your experience that is I know as for me, um you know, I haven't um been to confession and I can't even remember the last time that I went to confession.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:57

So I really don't know how that falls as far as me being gay, you know. I know that I just don't I guess my thing is I don't understand how some people can um commit certain, you know, break certain commandments in a way, but still feel like they are able to go to communion and be accepted. But I'm just I don't know, I just for me, I mean, I still I go to church, you know, I'll I'll take my mom to church and stuff, but as far as me uh going to confession and confessing, I mean, I don't know, is this a sin? You know? No. Exactly. So uh but I'm I mean I'm still strong. I'm still strong in my faith. You know, and it's always gonna be in in me, you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:58

Yeah, yeah, we we have recently like rejuvenated our like religion experience and like we we take take take it a little more seriously now that we're a little older. And I don't I I I don't think it's it should be an issue. I know that the Pope is very our Pope is you know, it's uh I don't know, there's people we live in the Bible belt, so there's a lot of Bible thumpers and they they use um I don't know, they use the the Bible to their to their to what they want to put it as, but then I can just turn around and read something that like I can question, you know, I don't I'm not super religious, and I can question them like, well, where do they say it's not accepted? Right. Like tell me that. But right. Um I know being you know being Latino and Mexican, like and most of us are super Catholic, like it's it's I think I think even like when the Pope acknowledges like love is love, like I don't think it's it's you shouldn't feel guilty. Like don't you should definitely I too have not been to confession for a long time, so it ain't just you, it's a lot of us who are yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:03

I grew up super Catholic and I have I only go when it's my mom's anniversary, you know, mass. You know, and I grew up in the Catholic Church. I even wanted to become a nun at one point. I can even so but yeah, um she's like they have cool dresses, I wanted so um thank you all for sharing that.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:28

Um is there there's the one thing on here that I did I kind of I'm interested in asking, was there anything that you guys uh to the like maybe Monica? Your family's kind of been uh uh was more op you know more uh aware of like the lifestyle. Was there anything that you had to maybe Dina introduced to the family, like language and terms or anything? I know nowadays is so much has changed. Like uh growing up we knew like gay, right? Um lesbian, uh homosexual, like just the the but now it's like LGBT coupe plus. Like, is there anything like that you had to teach people or anything that that helped them out, you know, just to learn? Um how do you feel about that?

SPEAKER_02 1:04:16

Like what's what's your take on I think I mean I don't know that that is not like um an easy subject, I guess, within within our family. It's not but it but it's it's so out there, you know. And I I know I remember, especially I guess sometimes when I would have a a few of these dose in me. I know I would sometimes tell my brothers, you know, um one of my siblings, my brother, my brother Pete was amazing. Like, you know, he he's like, Sister, you know, I love you for who you are, you know. I don't that doesn't bother me when you met Monica and her kids, it's like, you know, they're like, oh brother Pete, you know, they just loved him, you know. But then my other sibling, my other brother, he's he's more quiet, you know, just doesn't really show any expressions, no, no, just he's just kind of just just flat line type. And I remember sometimes when you know we'd be drinking, you know, and just like you know, you know, Monica's you know, very important to me, you know. You know I'm gay, right? You accept that, you know, I would always, you know, he's like, he's like, no, sister, yeah, I'm I'm fine, you know, that doesn't, you know that doesn't bother me, you know. But I guess because I didn't get the same reaction that I got from my brother Pete that I wasn't really a hundred percent with him, but I know that every time that I would have a few in me, I would always, you know, you know I'm gay, right? You know, you know, he's like, no, I know, I know. I'm I'm fine, I'm good, you know. But but as far as just yeah, it's just a subject that doesn't really get talked about. Even even now, you know, with my mom. But then again, my mom just, you know, she just she's at a different um stage in her life where she's got dementia, so she really, you know, I could tell her, I I could tell her, you know, this is my wife, and she'll at that moment be like, yeah, it is hot, like, yeah, and in a few minutes, I goodness, you know. But you know, it's like, you know, so we don't really talk about it around like that with my mom, you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:41

But was there anything that maybe like helped your family out, or was it like more is it did it change through time, like knowing like you said you had an uncle and then it now like it's more readily like even now.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:58

I mean when we have cookouts and stuff, anything they're always like, let's be honest, and I think everything is about gay, and you know, I mean, just now everybody's so open, and what are your kids saying to me? Oh well, they are Dina is Papa D.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:17

Papa D. We gotta be big big.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:21

So my son Josh, the same one, um, his birthday last year or two years ago? No, is this last year, last year? So we're he's opening his gifts, and then he's like, Oh, this card's from Papa D.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:36

And T says so then he's gotten all the kids, the grandkids calling her Papa D.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:52

Papa D. Like, we put that on a shirt.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:55

Yeah, Papa D. So then whenever you know, we first started, Josh was even younger. Um, his friends would come over and he's like, This is my mom, and this is my dad.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:12

Or he'll like, you know, just introduce his friends like, these are my mom's now and then, or he'll, you know, he'll say mom and dad and whatever, whatever mood he's in, and then my mom's gay, okay. Okay, maybe my mom's gay, all right? You know, so that's how open it is, you know, in our household. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:32

Alright, so now we're gonna get to a deep question. Okay. Uh not too deep, but what does pride mean to you as a Latina lesbian?

SPEAKER_05 1:08:42

Um it means being proud of who I am. You know, proud that, you know, I'm a Latina, I'm gay, I have kids, they accept it, and it's okay. It's hard though for me to be proud at work. I kinda, I'm kind of like Dina now. Like I'm open with my family and my friends, but at work, I live in a I mean, I work in a man's world for one, and then it's a bunch of old white, you know.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:22

Good old boys. Yes.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:24

Yeah. And not only, I mean, if they even knew I was gay, oh my gosh, it would be worse. Because like one customer came in one day, and I I and my co-workers that are white don't get it. You know, they think I'm being um it's me. But when you come in and I'm sitting at the counter, like waiting, like, hey, how can I help you? Where's the tacos?

SPEAKER_06 1:09:49

Where's the hot dogs and hamburgers?

SPEAKER_05 1:09:51

I mean, why's it gotta be tacos? And they don't get it, they just don't get it. So at work, my close friends, because everybody else, y'all don't mean nothing to me. So my close friends, because when I first started, there was a girl that got uh she quit. She quit because they bullied her for being gay, yeah. And so after that, I was like, what would I do in my personal life? No, and I don't friend nobody on Facebook. I what I leave at five.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:22

Work is work.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:23

That's right. Y'all don't sign my paycheck.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:27

But and I I suppose I do have a problem with it because it's not fair, it's not right, but I think um, as far as your question and being Latina, and I think our age generation compared to maybe the ones that are out now or maybe out or don't know, or maybe just following a trend, um we take it more uh more to heart, you know, but we don't, we don't, we're not we're not out there just spreading it like, you know, hey, I'm gay, you know?

SPEAKER_03 1:11:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:14

Don't, you know, it I don't know. I just for me, like, same at work, you know, just certain people know, but I'm more like the same way, like I don't I don't need to be loud and proud, you know. I am who I am, and once people get to know me, they'll probably be like, I knew you were gay, without me even saying anything to them, you know. But it doesn't it doesn't matter, you know. So yeah, we enjoy pride, you know, celebrating pride when it comes to it, but um, you know, we have our rainbow flags and all that at home, but um we just you know, we just know there's a lot of people that still don't accept it, so we just you know we stay in our lane.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:12

So we live in a crazy world.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:13

We do. What would you tell you the younger generation? Like as far as uh whoever's out there listening to maybe have doubts or questions, or you know, what advice would you give them?

SPEAKER_02 1:12:28

For me, I would just be um just come out when you're ready. Don't be don't feel like you have to come out because you're being forced. You you do it when you're ready and come out to to the people that love you the most. Regardless if you're scared, like I was coming out to my family, whether they're gonna accept it or not, you know, I think it's it's best to just be free, come out, because if you keep it within you, you know, hiding who you are, that's not a way to live, I don't, I don't think, you know. So find that one person, you know, like like I found my best friend, and then I found my niece when I was drunk, and I don't remember that, but you know, so it's a hot summer. Yeah, when you're ready, come out, no matter the age. I was in my 30s, so you'll you're gonna be loved.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:36

Yeah. I agree. I agree. Be who you are, and you know, like Dina said, find that one person and everybody else will follow.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:58

So um the closer is kind of like what you guys just answered. It's you know, if let's say, you know, you're sitting at a kitchen table with your younger self, you know, what would you what would you say?

SPEAKER_05 1:14:14

I would just have dogs. Live by myself, traveled the world.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:22

You're describing what I fantasize about sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:26

Man, not the dog park, but we had we had this conversation earlier. I was giving uh my wife some questions, some scenarios, like this or that. We can get into that later, but that's funny you said that.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:39

No, I love my kids. I love I love my life, but yes, as an adult, you know, you start thinking back and go, wow. I mean, do you ask me this all the time? Honestly, now that she's caring for her mom, she's like, How'd you do it? How'd you raise four kids? Like, you just do it. You do, yeah, you just do it, you go with the flow. I mean, people that say, I'm only had one, I can't afford two. I couldn't afford four and I had them. Look, I'm here for traveling. But no, I would just say, you know, go for your gut, go with your gut because for real, life is short. Yeah, and honestly, even to this day, we don't know. We live in a crazy world. I mean, you gotta be with your people, be happy, and I mean that's what Dina and I say, one day at a time. Yeah. One day at a time.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:39

Yeah. Ditto.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:44

So is that your question for your younger self? What would that you would say?

SPEAKER_01 1:15:49

You wouldn't say ditto to your go back in time, sit you at that table. What would you say?

SPEAKER_02 1:15:55

Oh, I think definitely don't be scared. I think for me, I was scared to live leave home. I was scared to leave um to go away to college, you know. Uh, I did have the opportunity, you know, to go and and and play soccer. But within me, I was like, I don't know if I can leave. I don't know if I can leave my parents, you know. Just is I don't know what it was. It was just something within me that I was like, I I I don't know if I can go out of state, you know, and be with strangers. So the inner child of me, don't be afraid. Spread those wings because you'll regret it. You'll regret some things that you should have chosen back as a younger meme. But I'm living one of the best lives right now. You know, God puts you in a path, you can either follow that straight path, there's gonna be a bunch of different roads to take, and yeah, we're all gonna take the different roads, different paths. There's gonna be a bunch of uh dips, a bunch of road, closed roads, and all kinds of things, but I mean, as long as you have faith, as long as you have family, as long as you have a circle of friends, you know, uh, you're gonna get through it. And I think that's what's helped me with who I am now and with my partner of 14 years. We've been through a lot. And we still got a lot more to go.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:57

A lot of traveling. A lot of traveling. We're not going. We're dragging along.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:02

Well, thank you, Dina and Monica, for being on today. Um, thank you for tuning in today as well, familia. We're so grateful you spent this time with us with Dina and Monica and with their story. Nearly 14 years of love, four kids, four grandkids, caring, caregiving, culture, resilience. This is what queer Latino love looks like in real life. If this episode touched you, if it reminded you of your own journey, if it made you feel a little less alone, we hope you were seen. We hope that you felt validated, and we hope you felt proud of who you are and where you come from. These conversations matter, representation matters, and your story matters. If you love this episode, don't forget to share it with someone who needs to hear it, text it to your comadre, send it to your cousin, post it on your stories, and make sure you're following us on all social media so that you don't miss what's coming up next. From your comadre and compadre Hugo, thank you for being a part of this community. Until next time, con orgullo y con con amor. Do you want to sign us out?

SPEAKER_02 1:19:16

Keep your cafecito closer, your boundaries closer.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:20

And remember, surviving your childhood doesn't make you crazy. It makes you a legend. Woo!

SPEAKER_02 1:19:27

Hashtag Modina. Modina.