Endings and Beginnings

A short reflection meditation (plus a fable) about letting go in order to receive. 

Transcript

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I used to love stories and movies of kids discovering secret books and hidden libraries. The cozy yet mysterious feeling of being surrounded by ancient wisdom that wants to be discovered. So right now, I imagine finding a leather-bound book, pulling it off the shelf, and opening it to a fable strangely relevant to this week. But before I read it, I start with a deep breath in and out. Once upon a time there was a young boy who was well known in his village for having a fire in his belly and a unique spark in his eye. He wanted to be the first person to tame the untamable horse and ride it to the Great Mountain. The elders patiently listened to his certainty, but did little more than nod along with his grand plans, until one day they watched him venture off into the forest. Day after day out there he tried to mount the wild horse, and every time it threw him off. His body was battered, his pride bruised, but he refused to quit. One gray misty morning, the boy managed to slip a rope around the horse's neck. It bolted, dragging him through the thickets and brambles deeper and deeper into the forest until he finally had to let go. Alone in the dark, he sat in silence, trying to summon the courage to walk back and face the village's laughter. But mostly, he mourned the dream he'd been so sure of the road to the great mountain. As the sun began to set, he stood. And just then, a giant hawk descended from the sky, landing at his feet facing away from the village. The boy froze. The enormous bird didn't move, but something about it, strange and unexplainable, felt like an invitation. So the boy, uncertain and scared, climbed onto its back. They lifted off, soaring over the forest canopy, and they flew straight to the great mountain. Unlike the horse he tried to control and actually never could have made it to his destination, the hawk only needed a subtle tilt of its wings to catch the currents and carry him forward. The boy with the fire in his belly and spark in his eye got his adventure after all, just not in the way that he ever planned. Deep breath in. Starting and finishing are inseparable. So the feelings of failure and shame the boy had in the forest after letting go are real. I felt them. I've started things and not finished, and that triggers a lot of unhelpful storytelling. But I love in the midst of all of that, unexpected intervention arrives. A gift from elsewhere. A place operating under different rules. A generative realm that rewards endings with new beginnings. Deep breath in. Next. What opportunity will land with a strange invitation? I don't need to know the specifics, I just need to know it's possible. I believe it's possible. Every experience I've had holding on to something I thought was it, the path to whatever great mountain I had in mind led to this moment of receiving. I let go of any shame or unhelpful thoughts about dead ends, because there's no such thing. Everything has pushed and pulled me to right now, and I'm done hanging my head. I find the courage that's always been in me to keep my eyes up, hope filled, and ready for help from elsewhere.