The First 30 Days Sober

We break down what the first 30 days without alcohol actually feel like, from your body recalibrating to your emotions coming back online. We share why the early month can feel like a roller coaster and how patience, support, and simple tools help you keep moving forward.
• how sleep, stress hormones, and energy shift after you stop drinking
• why early sobriety can bring fatigue, headaches, and mood swings
• how alcohol numbs feelings and why emotions can surge when you quit
• using meetings or a support system when feelings feel overwhelming
• how routines and triggers drive cravings and why cravings pass
• practical ways to pause and change your environment
• what clarity looks like in relationships, stress, and boundaries
• unexpected gifts like time, money, pride, and better sleep
• rebuilding self-trust through daily sober choices
• why persistence matters more than perfection and how to respond to slips
If this episode helped you today, share it with someone who might need to hear it.

email: marcybackhusmedia@gmail.com 

website: marcybackhusmedia.com

Transcript

Sleep And Body Recalibration

Emotions Coming Back Online

Cravings And Rewiring Routines

Clarity, Boundaries, And Discomfort

Unexpected Gifts And Self-Trust

Slips, Persistence, And Support

Next Steps And How To Connect

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Hello friends and welcome back to Unbottled, the podcast where we talk about sobriety, emotional growth, and what it really looks like to live sober and alcohol-free in the real world. I am Marcy. I've been sober for 38 years. And if there's one thing I wish more people understood about sobriety, it's this. The beginning can feel messy. And it's not because you're doing it wrong, but because your body, your brain, and your emotions are adjusting to something completely new. In our last episode, we talked about the fear. Oh, that fear of giving up alcohol. One of the most profound things in that episode for me was fear always shows up when we're going to make a change, and it's usually a change for the better. That's when fear shows up. All those questions and worries that show up when you start thinking about change. So today we're going to talk about what happens after you actually stop when you make that decision. We're going to talk about those first 30 days. And for me, those first 30 days were a long time ago. And I do remember parts of them, and I'm sure there's parts I don't remember. But I think we're going to go through some good information today. Because the truth is, the first month can feel like a roller coaster. And if you're not expecting that, it can make you think something is wrong. But what really happens is that your mind and body are beginning to heal. And gosh, everybody, give it time. All right. So the first the first thing you've decided to stop drinking and you have put the alcohol away. Holy cow, your body is adjusting. The first thing to understand is that alcohol affects the body in so many ways. First off is sleep, brain chemistry, stress hormones, and energy levels. So when alcohol suddenly disappears, your body has to recalibrate. I want you to think about that. I want you to think about how long you've been putting alcohol in your body that's been adjusting all the things I just mentioned. And now you've stopped, your body has to recalibrate. And that's not a bad thing. But it takes a bit. It takes a hot second, people. This is why people often experience things like restless sleep. Well, I didn't know how to go to sleep without passing out. So I had to learn to go to sleep. I do remember that distinctly. Thinking, how do you go to sleep if you haven't been drinking? I like, I could not calculate that in my brain. So restless sleep, waking up in the middle of the night. Actually, my sleep, I did not wake up in the middle of the night. I was able to get through the nights. I woke up more in the middle of the nights when I was drinking. But that is a common thing. Feeling unusually tired, headaches, and mood swings. Good Lord, your body is recalibrating. Give it a chance. Take a beat. If you are sharing your journey with your close friends or family, let them know. Mood swings could be a part of this, and I'm sorry ahead of time. But as everything recalibrates, they'll go away. And sometimes people think maybe I felt better when I was drinking. That could be a total real feeling. The answer is no. But what was really happening is your body learning how to regulate itself again. Alcohol disrupts natural sleep cycles. So even though you may have fallen asleep quickly while drinking or passed out, the sleep quality was usually poor. During early sobriety, your brain begins repairing those patterns. And it can take a little time. So please be patient with yourself. Eventually, a real restful sleep returns. And when it does, it's one of the greatest gifts of sobriety. I can't tell you. Well, there's so many reasons because, first of all, you don't pass out when you go to sleep. You don't wake up with regrets. Those are some of the good things. And don't tell me you don't wake up, you wake up with no regrets. I don't believe it. I just don't. So that's kind of the first, the first little dealy bobber you're going to have to deal with. The next thing is your emotions. Because guess what? As much as your body was recalibrating, now your brain has to come back online. Because trust me, when your brain was doused with alcohol, think about that magic brain that we have. It's so fascinating. It can heal itself. It takes care of us. It protects us. And we we drown it in alcohol. So this is the part people are often most surprised by. When alcohol is removed, emotions can feel much stronger. You've been stuffing feelings, dousing it with alcohol. Now you may notice irritability. I can't even say that word today. Irritability, sadness, anxiety. If you didn't have anxiety before, you might have it now. Unexpected tears and moments of intense relief are joy. This happens because alcohol numbs emotional responses. Now, if all of that happens at once, which it can, it can flood you, it can be overwhelming. This is where having some sort of program or system in place for yourself is really important. Because when that would happen to me, I'd go straight to a meeting. Because trust me, everybody in that room understands that. Alcohol doesn't remove feelings, it numbs them. It numbs that emotional response, it postpones them. So I want you to think about when you stop drinking, those feelings come back online. And I kind of liken it to my husband does this. He's not very technically inclined. And he'll send something to the printer, it doesn't print. He sends it again, he sends it again, he sends it again, still not printing. I'll come through the room, I'll fix it, and all of a sudden all 20 of them print at once. That's kind of how your feelings are with drinking. You've been numbing them so long, you may get overwhelmed. And trust me, this is no reason to not stop drinking. You'll get through it. We all do. It can feel overwhelming, but over time, emotional balance returns. And something else happens too. You start trusting your emotions again. They become signals instead of storms, which is what emotions are supposed to be. They're supposed to be signals. But during drinking and during the first 30 days, they can be overwhelming. And remember, I'm talking about the first 30 days. All of these things come back online, some sooner, some a little longer. It all starts working out. The next thing is your brain is rewiring habits. Okay. This one is so important because alcohol is deeply connected to routines. Friday night, dinner out, celebration, stressful days. Remember a few episodes back, we talked about that thought of do I want to stop drinking and examining your relationship with alcohol? And you start thinking, well, what am I going to do when I eat pizza? What am I going to do when I go to somebody's birthday party? That's part of that habitual things, habitual drinking. So alcohol is deeply connected to routines. We talked about, I just mentioned a couple Friday night, dinner out, celebrations, stressful days. Even certain chairs in the house or things in the house, or if you're a smoker, it could be that, or talking on the phone. My mother back in the day would sit on the phone and smoke. And that was a huge trigger for my mom in the beginning when she quit smoking. Should have quit drinking at some point. She never did. But we'll take the smoking. So when those routines suddenly change, the brain notices. And it may send a strong signal that says, something is missing. Beep, beep, beep, something is missing. This is where cravings often show up. A craving is not a command. I'm going to say that again. A craving is not a command. It's simply your brain remembering an old habit. We need to change those old habits. Craving usually passes within minutes, but in the moment they can feel very intense. And here is the key. When you get a command like that, the key is learning to pause instead of react. Do something else. Drink some water, grab a Diet Coke, go for a walk, call someone, change your environment. If you sat down in that chair and all of a sudden that's where you had your scotch and soda every night, don't sit in that chair. Give your brain a chance. Alrighty. How are you doing on these first 30 days? Are you kind of getting the idea that everything's coming back online, everything's starting to percolate and do what it's supposed to do, and you're just not used to that? Because that's pretty much what I'm saying. Here's a good thing. Well, I guess it could be, I think it's a good thing. You start seeing things clearly. One of the most powerful shifts in early sobriety is clarity. AA talks about the clarity a lot. Without alcohol clouding things, numbing our emotions, doing all the things we just talked about, we start noticing patterns. We have more energy. You see your relationships for good or bad. You may look at a relationship you're in and think, ah, this is not good. Or you may look at a relationship you're in and think, dang, I am lucky this person stuck with me. Why on earth would they have stayed? Stress levels, places where you were stressed, you won't be stressed anymore. Things that stressed you out will not stress you out anymore. Am I saying you will never be stressed? Absolutely not. But things that shouldn't have stressed you that did while you were drinking will be gone. Boundaries. You will understand boundaries a lot more. Your friends will be grateful that you understand boundaries a lot more. Mostly it's invading other people's boundaries that we did when we were drinking. And now we will understand what a boundary is. This clarity, this clarity that comes, can feel all-empowering. But it can also feel really uncomfortable. It can be really, you know, I think about when I was a kid and I got my first pair of glasses and I put them on, and we were driving home in the car, and I remember looking at trees, and I said to my mom, you can see individual leaves. Like I just saw a blob of a tree. I all of the sudden, all the things I could see clearly with my new pair of glasses, guess what? It made me feel uncomfortable too, in a lot of ways. And that's just normal. You're gonna feel that, it's gonna be normal. Growth often comes with awareness, growth comes with being uncomfortable. You do not grow without feeling uncomfortable. I'm just getting in any way, shape, or form, whether you drink or you don't drink. Growth always comes with uncomfortability, uncomfortable ability. I can't say that. But yeah, it does. So that's kind of the nitty-gritty of the first 30 days. But you know what? I'm not gonna leave you there. There's some unexpected gifts. Even in that very first month, many people begin noticing surprising benefits. Better sleep, clearer skin, moods beginning more stable. You have more time because you're not wasting it drinking, you'll have more money, and perhaps most importantly, a sense of pride, a very, very quiet sense of pride. Because every day you choose sobriety, you're building trust with yourself. Now, there's going to be a lot of people in your life that probably don't trust you anymore for a lot of a multitude of reasons, and we've given them all to them. But the person that trusted you the least was yourself. So every day that you choose sobriety, you are rebuilding that trust with yourself. And if you're listening to this and you still haven't quit drinking or you're not sure, I want you to understand how important trusting yourself is. Losing trust in yourself is horrible. And getting it back is everything. A self-trust is powerful. Self-trust is the foundation for lasting change. Now, I've talked to you a lot the last few weeks. If you haven't listened to my other episodes, please go back and catch up. I say a lot of really good things. You don't have to do this perfectly. If you are in your first 30 days, I want you to hear this really clearly. You don't have to do this perfectly. You just have to keep moving forward. Sobriety is not built through perfection, it's built through persistence. One day, one decision, and one honest moment at a time. And I'm going to say this, and there's a lot of people that say if I say this, it gives you permission. I'm not giving you permission to drink if you've been sober, but I'm going to tell you something. If in those first 33 days you do what's called a slip or you drink or you smoke or whatever it is you're trying to quit, don't give up. Start all over again. Start with day one. It's not a big deal. What is a big deal is if you don't go back and you don't try again. To me, that's a big deal. If you're an AA and you slip, come back to the rooms. We're there. We're not going to judge you. This isn't about being judged. This is about trying to get someone to change their life for the better. We won't give up on you. I won't give up on you. I will always be here. I will be here every week. I will be here every week. So if you're in that first month, if you're listening and you're somewhere in that first 30 days, be gentle with yourself. Your body is healing, your brain is adjusting, and your life is beginning to realign. And that process takes time. But the rewards are real and they're worth it. Next episode, we're going to talk about something rarely prepare you for in sobriety. What people don't tell you about in early sobriety, the unexpected changes and the emotional shifts. And the way life starts to look different when alcohol is no longer running the show. Again, my name is Marcy. I have two other podcasts. One is called Inside Marcy's Mind. That is Life Hacks and Life Looking at Life in the Way I Look at Life. And I have another one called Aging Eight for Sissies. And if you're of a certain age, I would say 40 or above, I give great, great information about what aging is like and all the different things: retiring, saving, living life, finding deals, all the things. It's all there. If you want to get in touch with me, if you are trying to get sober and you need someone in your corner, please, or if you have a story to share and you want to share that story, please email me at marcybacchusmedia at gmail.com. You can find all my podcasts wherever you get your podcasts. You can also find them at my website, Marcybacchusmedia.com. I have a link to AA on that website. Also, anything I talk about on my podcast, I have linked there. So if this episode helped you today, share it with someone who might need to hear it. And remember this you don't have to hit bottom to choose better. You don't have to implode to evolve. And you don't have to do this alone. This is Unbottled. And around here we tell the truth so we can live free. I'll see you next time.