The Courage to Be Yourself: Burnout, Healing & Coming Home to You

In this powerful and deeply honest conversation, I sit down with Sasha, a therapist whose work centers around healing, alignment, and the courage to be yourself.

We explore what it really means to return to who you are: beyond the roles, the expectations, and the version of you that learned how to perform, achieve, and please. Because for many of us, somewhere along the way, being ourselves stopped feeling safe… so we adapted.

Together, we talk about:

•  Why becoming your true self requires courage and effort 
•  How patterns like people-pleasing, perfectionism, and control are formed 
•  What’s really happening during burnout and why it can be a turning point 
•  The role of breath, stillness, and slowing down in reconnecting to yourself 
•  Why self-love is not just a feeling but a daily practice and a choice 
•  The “two wolves” story and how your life reflects what you feed most 
•  How to take your first steps back to yourself when you feel disconnected 

This episode is a reminder that burnout, fear, and discomfort are not the end of your story. They can be the beginning of your return.

If you’ve been feeling disconnected, exhausted, or like you’ve lost yourself somewhere along the way… this conversation is for you.

🎙️ Listen now and start reconnecting to who you truly are.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:02

Hi, and welcome back to the Dima podcast. Today's conversation is about something that sounds simple, but is actually one of the most difficult things we can do in our lives. Becoming ourselves. Not the version of us that performs well, not the version that meets everyone's expectations, not the version that learned how to be successful, productive, or agreeable, but the version of us that feels true. Because somewhere along the way, many of us learned that being ourselves wasn't always safe. So we adapted. We became the responsible one, the achiever, the one who holds everything together. But at some point in life, often in the middle, something begins to shift. There's a quiet pull to slow down, to question things, to reconnect with who we really are. My guest today is Sasha, a certified therapist whose work focuses on well-being, healing, and helping people reconnect with themselves. Sasha and I first met during a time when I needed support during my own burnout. Since then, our paths have continued to cross in beautiful ways, including through the space where I now host my retreats. One of the ideas Sasha speaks about often is that healing begins with the courage to be yourself. And today we're going to talk about what that actually means. Sasha, I am so happy to have you here. Welcome to the Dima Podcast.

SPEAKER_01 1:38

Thank you so much for the beautiful invite. Happy to be here today.

SPEAKER_02 1:44

Happy to have you, and I'm really looking forward to this conversation. So let's start. And I'd love to start at the beginning. Before you became a therapist and started doing this work around well-being and healing, what led you to this path? Was there a specific moment in your own life where you realized that something needed to change?

SPEAKER_01 2:09

Um that's an excellent place to start. Um, I'm gonna bring you back in 2004. So I'm not, I wonder if you know this story, Dima. Uh, back in 2004, I um experienced what we call a really profound awakening. And through this awakening, um, it's something that I've shared in some of my conferences. I basically saw this light that appeared in the middle of the body of two people that was presented in front of me at the Ottawa hospital where I worked at the time. And it was at a time in my life where I was going through really, really not just like dark nights of the soul times one night, two nights, like it it was dark nights of the soul for many years for me. Uh, it was very, very, very uh painful to a point that um I didn't really understand the point of being here on this earth. And at that time, I actually thought I had thoughts of saying, like questioning um if there was ways for me to release myself from this deep pain. Uh because I was born uh Catholic, because I was raised Catholic, I prayed. So back in 2004, I prayed and I uh I took God by the collar, my perception of God at that time, which is already 22 years ago. Um and three days after that deep, deep, deep like help me, like really like I want I'm commanding for change to happen in my life. That's when I actually saw at the Ottawa Hospital two people show up. And one of the men what struck to me is that when I connected to this man who came out of the elevator, he was physically challenged, he had a hard time walking. But when I saw him, I saw a light appear in the middle of his body, and I, for the first time in my life, actually was filled with joy and peace and harmony, and I had never ever ever experienced that before. And in contrast, it's it's an important story because thank you for bringing me back there. In contrast, imagine this there's a woman coming out of the elevator at the same time as him, but she's walking really fast with a briefcase. And when I looked at her, her light was very dim, and I was invaded with feelings of despair, stress, worry. So, in that moment that appears like it was a long time, but was actually happening in a blink of a second, this awakening made me understand for me why we were here, and it also gave me an opportunity to realize my God, I want to feel what this man feels. If it's accessible for him, then it's accessible for all of us to attain this deeper peace, joy, uh, and I would say alignment, an alignment with with oneself. And interesting how so many of us work so hard. We work hard, we don't slow down, we go fast, fast, fast, thinking that that's the way to get to this expansion or this what we call happiness or connection, when it's actually quite the opposite.

SPEAKER_02 6:10

It is in stillness, really, and in not in the busyness and not in the performing and not in doing more that we find what we all uh want really joy and we want to love and be loved. Um, and we're all programmed and in the fact that it's only by proving ourselves to other, by uh getting these external validations, by pushing through, and the hustle is this it's the way to get validated, but really it's by and you brought you mentioned two words by alignment, that you can get to expansion. Uh, and for me, alignment is having your life and everything that you do and pursue uh in your life aligned with your who you are at your core, your values, and the purpose that you know you're here to deliver on in this life. And this doesn't happen in the chaos and busyness of life. You have to really be still for some time. And it sounds for you, it's only when you got very serious about seeking that help, and at that time you were seeking it from God and you were praying that you start seeing literally the light. Uh, because if you're not open to receiving, you you're not you will not receive. Uh, and if I understand correctly from your story and that awakening, is that you were ready to receive.

SPEAKER_01 7:57

Yeah, I was really ready, absolutely. And when you want it and you want it bad enough, then yeah, you you must ask. And I asked in a way that I had never asked anything in my life, and doors opened. Opened, it showed me the way, and you know, I want to say this because when I did my my thesis at university, I did it on suffering because it's so important. So many of us uh we suffer, but we haven't learned how to suffer, and sometimes, like with that version that I was back then, Dima, I thought that was me. You know how many people struggle and suffer and are going through difficult times, but they've identified themselves to a version that's actually not the true them.

SPEAKER_02 8:55

So yeah, that you're mentioning that like they have identified to something to a version of themselves that it's not their true self. So um, and you often say that healing begins with the courage to be yourself. So, so why does why do you think it takes courage to be truly yourself?

SPEAKER_01 9:19

Um I I want to start by defining what courage is because sometimes we're not clear what that is. So uh courage for for me is defined as um recognizing that that it that you might be scared of affronting darker parts of you, it might be challenging. So courage requires you to recognize some vulnerabilities that are there and that you're willing to go through it, you're willing to step into a zone that is not comfortable. Um when we've identified to part of who we are and we're used to that on France, on the porter ses vieilles chaussette, say we get comfortable and um yeah, courage, courage, and and then I would add effort, effort to get to that, right? Um, so stepping out of your comfort zone is is uncomfortable, so courage, and then defining what is courage of being myself, right? Like, isn't that what we're searching for most of our lives? So for me, the self is uh defined by the self from Carl Jung, right? So the self le grand soi, uh, which is uh embodying light, embodying source, embodying love, um, one of the highest vibrations. So even um Dr. David Hawkins supports this. I believe in his chart, right? That the lower chart uh is survival. So so many people are um on a radio station where they feel guilty many times, and then other people are on a radio station where they're angry or live in regret. So they leave it, they live in these survival modes. So having the courage of finding yourself in a way again, you know, it's it takes courage because we don't necessarily know what we're looking for and what that looks like, but it will require to stand in the unknown.

SPEAKER_02 11:57

So two things are coming up to me when you say that is that uh why is it so difficult for people to simply be who they are? First of all, there's the fear of the unknown because and you have to face certain things that uh make you extremely vulnerable and get you outside of your comfort zone, and that on its own is very scary because you don't know what to expect. And the other things also that's coming out to me is the work that it requires to um face your fear and also do the work that needs to be done to remember who you are and get outside of the pattern that you've been in for so long, whether your pattern is anger, or whether your pattern is a people pleaser, or whether your pattern is the doer, the perfectionist, the performer, it requires effort. Um and because many of many people grow up learning that love, approval, safety comes from performing well, from doing the right thing, from achieving, from taking care of others, and all these patterns shape the adults that we become. Can you give me an example in your work with clients? How does that look like exactly? Like when I don't because I don't believe when people come to see you, they expect that they're going to talk about these patterns or talk about uh uh what they've what they're scared of, or the fact that they forgot who they are. They probably come as I first came to see you is feeling that I'm maxed out, um I'm so tired, I can't stop crying. Please help. And so what I want to know, how do you what do you see in people when they first come to see you seeking help?

SPEAKER_01 14:09

Um well, the way I'm I'm I'm hearing two parts to your to your question. I'll I'll answer like this. I like to help people identify their different parts. So when you talk about the performer, the pleaser, there's the controller. Um, one approach that is I find really powerful is um playing out the role in their lives. And uh some are perhaps familiar with guest out therapy. So guest out therapy offers this opportunity where let's say you get one chair and the person sits in it and that's their authentic self is I don't really feel like working today, or I don't want, or I would like to, or I don't feel like so. It's a no, right? So whatever position they're at, so I'm we're showing what the authentic self is, right? I'm either that person feels sad, or that person feels like they're tired, but they would never allow themselves to be tired because if not, it would mean that they're lazy, or they would like a day off, but they can't do that because then they feel that their boss might depend on them, and then people at work will be will be um disappointed. So, all this the mind shatter that kind of makes it hard to see what the authentic true self is. So, what I do, Dima, an example would be I put on the other chair the program, and you said it so well. So we have programs because this is a computer before the age of seven, we are programmed to say thank you, to get an when you get good marks, maybe you you get rewarded. So the we have so many programs, and these programs act into our unconscious mind as beliefs. But when you put it on the chair, when someone comes and is experiencing, and then you realize the program, let's say, or the vulnerability, or the program is don't be weak or don't be lazy or don't let go, but when you have a conversation between both parts, the authentic asking, leave me alone, let me when you do that, what you do is you come to almost like a negotiation, and it's really profound because let's say the controller is telling you why they've been there since the age of two years old, or why you know the pleasers have been there, they wanted to make sure that you would always be liked, you know, because if not, you'd be hurt. So when you understand the intent behind the role, the mask, some be some other people could say saboteurs, different names to represent these parts, then at the end you can you gain it, takes courage because then you at one point the person will say, let's say the controlling part, or let's say the part that says you're weak, say, you know what? I got it from now. I no longer need you, but I thank you, you've given me, but I no longer need you. And when we do this, I will literally show how that part was in the driver's seat, and then they go behind, so then the person takes back their the the driver's seat and the other the other parts behind, but it it takes a while because this part the chair will not of the chair, the other part doesn't really want to let go. It's almost like you need me, you know. I can't, you can't, and this is the the fear that you know that part does not want to die, it's a part of your ego. I would call it the egoic mind, but it's it's it's part of us, but it's very beautiful. Then we start to recognize I'm not weak or strong, I'm not useless or useful, I'm not incompetent or competent because we live in a world where our mind acts, we need to act a certain way to identify, but then when we take care of all these different parts and we realize and we bring balance, then we are just us without the identification of, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:07

And do you feel people resist letting go? Because if if I understood correctly, the way it works is that um people come to you and then slowly they start realizing the people pleaser in me has been driving all this time, has been driving how I interact with the world and how also I let others come first, how I don't respect my own boundaries, how I give more importance to everybody's needs but mine. But that's how I made it, that's how I survived. That's that's why I've accomplished so many things that I've come accomplished. So now you're telling me um you you don't need to be that anymore? Of course I'm scared because but then what happens to people are not gonna like me, uh my my friends, my family are going to um are going to maybe reject me because I'm I'm not as available as it used to be. Um so how do you deal with the resistance of I'm not getting letting go of this pattern because it has kept me safe for so long?

SPEAKER_01 20:21

I I think that's also a really great question. I feel that the hardest part for most people is to actually show up to a session. I find by the time people, because most people sometimes wait a year before calling or months, but the moment someone calls me and makes an appointment with me and gets to know me and we've established a beautiful therapeutic relationship, they are ready. Because by the time I'm doing this exercise, I've walked them, I've created a good relationship with them, they trust me, they know this is so supportive, and I give a lot of psychoeducks. So by the time we're doing this, you know, this uh trying out, actually it's through the conversation. If if let's say someone resists, it will be in doing this part, but they'll see that the part that resists is the mind, and then and then they will respond back to the mind. I'll get them to do the chat. Okay, what do you say to this part that says you need me? Because if you don't listen to me, you'll never be recognized by anyone. So then the person will answer their bones. So there's not much resistance with this exercise that's done because then they go back and then they reply. They understand both parts. Is that do you understand how I'm yes.

SPEAKER_02 22:00

Okay. Yes, I think when once they get to that point, they've already named what is it that they're dealing with and they're ready to do the work.

SPEAKER_01 22:11

Yes, and I I can add this part. If let's say in a conversation, it might resistance might come up differently. If in a conversation someone realizes that they they have a harder time uh honoring themselves, so they'll all often be there for everyone, but not honoring themselves. And let's say you introduce, you know, um a little bit of the pleasing. Let's say I think education is so important. Then you say, you know, the idea is when we when we decrease the volume of one of your programs, it's not that you'll never please anyone ever again. No, no, no, no. The difference is you'll be there for the person, and sometimes you don't, you know, but you're still there. But what you're doing is you don't you're not guided by guilt. It's so different and so empowering when you're giving to someone out of a place of open heart, and it's not your guilt that guides.

SPEAKER_02 23:15

Yeah, that's so true, and that really resonates with me. Um personally, I used to be the typical people pleaser, and I would say yes to everything, and sometimes I would say yes before understanding what am I saying yes to and what am I committing to, and over time I found myself becoming resentful towards people I just said yes to. And then what is the point of saying yes, I can help you, and then feeling resentful uh and not wanting to help, but you do it out of guilt, it kind of defeats the purpose of helping someone. But like you said, when you're helping out of open heart, open mind, and you have a clear boundary when it comes to your capacity to help. When I say yes, I fullheartedly say yes because I'm available to you and I want to help you, and I have the bandwidth to help you. I'm not saying it out of guilt. Um, it's it makes a huge difference on how you how you show up for others.

SPEAKER_01 24:31

100%. Thank you for sharing that. Because then it's almost like you know, you're you're going to help someone often we because we don't want to disappoint, but then we per but then we delay because by our reaction afterwards, we end up disappointing because or being unkind. So we wanted to please, but then our attitude afterwards shows that we're so so then it becomes confusing. Relationships can become like people don't understand afterwards, like you were thought you wanted to help, but then then you seem unhappy, and then like this. Sometimes it can create a little bit of passive aggressiveness inside for some people.

SPEAKER_02 25:17

Yeah, yeah, I can see that.

SPEAKER_01 25:20

Um being aligned, right? I like the term when we use uh so the importance of being really lining up with what what feels right for you. What what can you give?

SPEAKER_02 25:34

Yeah. Um and also like we always also always say the common saying of you can't uh pour from an empty cup. Um that's that's also honoring yourself first before you can be uh helpful to others. Um I want to switch gears a little bit and talk a little bit about burnout and disconnection. And I want to talk about it because uh I've experienced it myself, and I want to hear your perspective when someone reaches uh burnout or emotional exhaustion, what do you think is actually happening internally?

SPEAKER_01 26:25

Inside of us, you've you know, there's this this doing, this like to answer that quickly, I feel too much doing over the being. So um, yeah, that's what I would say. Just it's a lot of in Chinese medicine, it's wood energy, and we're pushing and we're pushing through and we're pushing through and we're doing, and in that we lose sight of our breath. And uh it's amazing the number of people that come to see me and they're not breathing. It's amazing how people, when I'm talking to them, I could feel they just stop listening, they stop breathing, so they're listening to me like this. So just that, you know, if if you it's almost like the metaphor of like burnout is that you've been going at 180, you've been driving at 180 for way too long, and then your system is shaking, and then the only way to bring back yourself to alignment is to stop completely. And for myself and for many of my clients, it's been a gift. Burning out. I wonder what what your thoughts are around it because you mentioned you had a burnout. For me, burnout was my first burnout was in 2009, and I was so hard, so so so so hard, but then I realized how far I was from being connected to me.

SPEAKER_02 28:17

I totally relate to that, and and there's so much things that I want to unpack uh in what you just shared now. But to speak a little bit about my own experience, uh, and you said that a lot of your clients, it has been a gift for for them, their experience with burnout. My take on my own experience with burnout is that although I never want to go through that again, I truly believe it needed to happen. I needed to reach that point where I couldn't take it another day doing what I was doing in order for me to be where I am today. If it did not get to the point, I would have still been in that autopilot mode where I'm going at 180, I'm pushing through, I'm burning the candles on both ends, and uh all this without truly being who I am. I was in the doing a hundred percent, one thing after the other, one thing after the other, and always seeking who's going to give me the reward, who's going to tell tell me good job, Dima, who's going to give me that external validation. I was constantly chasing that through doing my burnout, forced me to stop and start asking myself those difficult questions. It's like, who are you? Because I stopped being myself. I took on a persona that I thought it was the right persona to be to succeed in the environment that I was in back then, and I totally forgot who I am. It's through the burnout and through so much work on myself and through a lot of reflection that I came back to who I truly am. And my podcast would not have been here today. My Excel retreat that I host at your beautiful space would not have existed if I did not experience my burnout. So definitely it has been a gift to me. And I want to share that. I love to share that with the world because it can be an excellent opportunity if you pay attention. If you don't pay attention, you could take a break from whatever got you to that point and then start the cycle again. That that's the last the last thing I want to do. And I believe anybody who has experienced burnout, that's the last thing that you want to do. You don't want to repeat the cycle. So it's very important to pay pay attention to what got you here and what's going to prevent you from getting there again. So thank you for asking me to share my experience. The other thing is breathing. And you you said how many of the clients that come see you that stop breathing. Breathing has been instrumental to me uh through that journey of reflection on who uh I forgot who I was and how I remembered myself again, because I also realized that for years I wasn't breathing properly because I was too busy, which sounds ridiculous. That like who is too busy to breathe uh like you should breathe, like taking deep breaths. And my pra my yoga practice has helped me a lot with breathing, and now I use it so much to in stressful moments in moments where I feel like I'm going to these old patterns again, um, where I feel like I'm losing myself again and I have to catch myself back. I really rely on my breathing, and it's such a it's it's available to everybody and it's free. Uh, I also invite my clients to always use their breathing to bring them back to the moment and to ground themselves. So uh when you say that a lot of your clients they stop breathing, I I totally understand that, and I have experienced it with my own clients.

SPEAKER_01 32:53

Yeah, yeah. When I hear you, I hear um, well, your your story is very inspiring, it's touching. Um and when you talk about breathing, for me it's I'm going to add like a the breath of life. They call it the breath of life, you know, it's it it's it's the center, and I I some people would say, you know, the quality of your life is the mirror of the quality of your thoughts, and at the same time, I would add the quality of your life is really um um linked to the quality of your breath, you know why? Because in order to access joy, peace, harmony, uh, gratitude that comes from within, not gratitude from the mind, even uh you know, kids, they go around in the wood and you leave the lever the lemerve ma being in awe. These are frequencies that are very high. So when we're in burnout, we're usually in survival mode. And I would say most of the population, if they're not doing any inner work or doing yoga, breathing technique, walking in nature, slowing down, you're automatically in survival. Therefore, you can't access the highest uh vibrations to then connect to a deeper and more aligned part of who you are. So some people die never having a chance to discover their full potential because they stayed stuck in emotions instead of connecting to a vibration, it's not the same. Some people say stuck in lower emotions instead of vibration. When you vibrate, you're walking, and you're there's you're there's nothing, not it's not coming from outside, it exudes from the inside. So yeah, burnout helps us remember, or at least maybe not remember, but discover who we are because you have no choice but to learn to be.

SPEAKER_02 35:14

Yeah, you have no choice but to learn to be for sure. And what a waste if you spend your life in your doing in survival mode. What a waste! What a waste, yeah. Um it brings me to uh self-love, and it is a phrase that we hear everywhere today, uh, and many people I feel struggle with it. From your perspective, what does real self-love actually look like in someone's life?

SPEAKER_01 35:50

Um so because self-love probably has a different definition for people, I'm going to say an ingredient that I think everybody practicing self-love would have to have to realize if they're really uh doing self-love gestures. So I was actually I actually did um so today we're talking about the courage of being ourselves, but I also did uh a talk recently on the courage to love oneself, and it requires action. So to love, so it could be basic, right? To to to self-love for some people might require physical. I'm going to the gym. I right I recommend for self-love, you must move every day. You know, we have emotional intelligence, we have intellectual, we need the physical, we need the spiritual, right? So, but you must go to the gym or you must go walk outside in nature, right? So doing things that feel good, drinking your water requires action. Also, harder things can be I'm in a job that is so hard, and I know I should leave. So an act of self-love, and this requires jumping into the unknown, not to say you can verify finances, and but if you stay in a relationship, either with your work or with your lover, uh, with your girlfriend, your partner, and it's been rolling in the same, and then all of a sudden you're kind of becoming more of a victim. A victim means you share what's going on, but you're not in action. So then you're sharing your dislikes, but then so to self-love, you must be in action. The semi en français is a verb, it's a verb to love oneself. So you must every day, and I'm gonna say this because this goes with courage uh and effort. Um, I don't know if you've heard this one before, but I love it. And when I share it with clients that have never heard it, it really hits home for many of them. Uh, it's this beautiful elder that talks to her little grandchild and tells her the story with the two wolves, and she says that one wolf, the white wolf, is a good wolf, and then the black wolf is as uh is um um she I think she says different depending on what you listen to, they'll say different words, but basically she says good and bad, right? Or good and opposite of. Um, but then he really quickly says which one wins, and this is the important part, it's the one you feed. Most of us have a harder time loving oneself because we fed security over freedom. I love that, or we fed pleasing and we fed never to disappoint anyone, we fed this lower frequency, which is fear. I'm so scared of disappointing, I'm so scared of losing my job, I'm so scared of so scared. So then we're in no action. So we want to start feeding the other wolf, and more we feed the other wolf, it will become conscious incompetence. No, it's unconscious competence, right? It will become an automatic. So when you help clients, and you know, in your beautiful retreats, you're giving amazing tools, and then your participant must practice, must practice and repeat, must practice until it becomes unconscious competence that you just know how to love yourself, you know. You just you're just used to it. It's it's not an it's non-negotiable.

SPEAKER_02 40:37

I absolutely love this for many reasons. Uh you break down self-love to as simple as drink your water, go for your walk, and and we can add to it, uh, have good sleep, uh, eat, eat well, uh read uh more than you stay on your phone. It's so simple, but also there are the acts of realizing where you are feeding the bad wolf and where you are feeding the good wolf, and who do you want to win? Because by not acting, whether you like it or not, you are feeding the bad wolf. So there's a price to act, but there's a price to an action. So choose. And like we say, choose your heart, it's very hard to do the work, it's very hard to um to create that self-awareness and the courage, like you said, to say no when you need to say no, to show up for yourself, to do the hard work, but also it is very hard to stay in the status quo and in in just to live in fear and to live in the like you said, the lower vibration where you're just going through the days with no self-awareness and with lack of purpose and meaning. I think that it's pretty easy when you put it that way to say that the price of inaction is a lot higher than the price uh of action for sure.

SPEAKER_01 42:17

Yeah, yeah. And and I hope that people can see it because when you're in inaction, let's say you look at it like a term or a thermometer, and let's say it goes from dark to bright, bright, bright, bright light. Let's say you're in action, and you're in action, let's say that's all you do. You go for a walk every day. You go for a walk every day. You go, you just started, you do your bed, you know, teaching, making. I think adults should teach their children to make their bed every day. You can teach your children to be in action very, very early on. Go brush your teeth, right? You do that with your children, but what happens is the cost is let's say I stop going to the gym and I stop doing things that are good for me. It happens in the cycle of life. Then sometimes what happens is inside it kind of vibrates a little lower, and then when it starts vibrating a little lower, it's like you're on another radio station, and then sometimes conflict appears more insecurities, uh, self-doubt. So if you can work on bringing just being in action, in action, in action with intention, and this includes action of changing your mindset every day. If you can say things every day like I feel so lucky, or I'm so blessed, I'm so blessed. And if you lose something, you always say, better is coming. Better is coming. Ah, better is coming. So these are practice habits of nourishing the white, the white wolf. Right? So, right, when you do that, then you start vibrating high, and whatever disturbed you a month ago, that you like you were triggered, when you're here, the triggers aren't the same. Yeah, you're not you don't give them vibrating at a different frequency.

SPEAKER_02 44:30

They don't have the same power over you.

SPEAKER_01 44:33

You got it.

SPEAKER_02 44:35

Got it. Yeah, it it you could you kind of answered my next question, uh, but maybe if you want to add to it, if someone's listening is feeling disconnected from themselves, but they don't know where to begin, what would be the first step? And I just heard you now talking about better is coming. So, like having that attitude that there's something better out there for you, and also you did not name it the gratitude, but you gave an example of how can you be grateful. Any other way can that can help someone who's feeling disconnected reconnect to themselves?

SPEAKER_01 45:17

Yeah, um, so two things. Yes, the mind is important, so I have I have just a present client, you know, when everything goes wrong, the house, the partner, everything at the same time, it's like you're invaded by a big wave. So when you're invaded by a big wave and you've lost your north, uh you've lost your compass, then two things for sure. Knowing that this is temporary is so important. This is temporary, this is temporary, this is temporary. I add that one really clear. This is temporary, and then repeating this is temporary. Something, something really important is gonna come out of this, okay? So uh working with two core beliefs that give strength. Um, and then this might be harder because when you have a wave coming in, usually your body is very heavy, but I would say find a way to move, dance, sing, go for a walk. And I know you won't feel like it, but I tell you clients that just move or just jog it, just release some of this. Um, you see, I don't recommend, not to say it's I recommend or not recommend, but because it's so intense, I don't say sit and meditate. I don't do that because that the energy is just so much. We want to actually move some of the energy. So moving, going for a walk in nature and consistent. Okay, and then if you get out of the house and you can just walk to the stop, go walk to the stop or walk to the end of your laneway, decide to come back, then that's already great. But then at the laneway, you can go a little bit further. So, yeah, and saying, Oh, here's another one. I got this becoming your own cheerleader. It feels like I'm gonna become emotional when I say this, but like I got this, so you've got this, babe. You got this, baby girl, you got this, I got this, and just like I got this is temporary and I got this, you know. It's depending on what you're experiencing. If you were a woman that her whole life she's got this, then I won't recommend that phrase. But with other people, I got this, I got this, I know I got this, and and some other people really appreciate it when I said, No, I'm not alone, I'm not alone and I'm supported. So I have many clients that are very open to spirituality and source, and when I bring that in, you know, asking, you know, there's a way of asking and a way of praying without saying just prayer is asking, uh, that can be very empowering, but sometimes people forget our own tools. So asking and asking and commanding, commanding with strength.

SPEAKER_02 48:31

That's I love that. So many takeaways from it. First of all, is movement and just move your body, let the energy release it from your body. It's uh it works every time, specifically when you don't feel like it, and this is when you need it the worst. So don't wait till you feel like it. Do it, even if you don't feel like it. I love that also when you said it's temporary, everything passes through, nothing stays forever. So when things are going well, enjoy them because they're not gonna last forever. But the same thing when things are not going so well, remind remember, remind yourself this is not gonna last forever. And the one big thing, too, that you are not alone, and so many women specifically, the ability to do things on their own is has been their way always of doing things and to show their worth. I can get it done on my own, that they don't ask for help, and we forget only by being open to receiving help how much support we do have available to us. We just have to ask, and a lot of people are waiting to support us, are waiting for a chance to be there for us, and we by being so what's the word I'm looking for, by letting our ego lead, and by telling ourselves I should be able to do this on my own, we're not offering the chance to those who love us to be there for us when we need it the most. I think as I experience more life, I'm realizing that letting somebody help us is also an act of love because we're telling them we count on you and we value you as a person, as a friend, and we trust that you can help us. So I think it's a win-win. Asking somebody for help is absolutely a win-win, and we should not uh take that away from ourselves and from the people that we love for sure.

SPEAKER_01 51:02

Oh, that's can I add to that? I just want to say that's so bang on, it's so important because so many women are hard on themselves, and often they've learned to be hard on themselves because either they were the oldest of the family of many children, they've learned to maybe take care of mom, maybe take care of dad, and then they've become adults that sometimes they're the director of a group of employees, so they're still there for everyone, and their program is actually not to ask help. Yeah, so it's great that you said that. Yeah, thank you, Sasha.

SPEAKER_02 51:48

I want to end with a question that I often ask my guests. If someone listening right now feels that quiet pull to live more authentically, but is afraid of what that might change in their life, what would you want them to know?

SPEAKER_01 52:18

It would be very normal to feel that way because it goes back to the beginning of our conversation. We step into the unknown. So if I've only known to be a certain way, and then this part of me or can is introduced, like it's scary. So I would I would just really validate that person and say a hundred percent.

SPEAKER_02 52:51

So true. Sometimes just naming the fear, it lessens its impact on us, and feeling validate, validated in in our feelings. It's a confirmation that we're normal, we're human, and we're gonna feel it, just just accept it, and also accept it and expect it also, uh, and and then you'll be better prepared to what comes next. Yeah, I think that's a very good advice.

SPEAKER_01 53:25

I want to add something important. We are born with the freedom of choice, of the freedom of le libre bit. Come on, libre arbitr.

SPEAKER_02 53:40

Like, I don't know exactly.

SPEAKER_01 53:42

So it means we're sovereign, right? We are born with um agency, yeah. So it means when someone presents their fear, it's it's so beautiful, right? So we want their own consent, it's like normal, and they nothing is forced, nothing is forced. The person can decide to stay like this for another little period of time, but usually when they want to change, it's because they realize that this program right now brought them to exhaustion or brought them in a relationship with someone where they're not happy. They realize now that the program has served its purpose, but going forward, it's no longer serving its purpose, it's actually bringing more pain.

SPEAKER_02 54:33

Yeah, yeah. So they're they're ready for the change. Yeah, it's not forced.

SPEAKER_01 54:38

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 54:39

What I take away from today's conversation is that becoming yourself or returning to yourself is not something really that happens overnight. It's a process, it's a process of unlearning certain programs, of listening, and of slowly getting go of the version of ourselves that we're created to survive or to serve a certain purpose, and having the courage to choose what feels true is really the starting point. So if this conversation resonated with you, I invite you to share it with someone who might need to hear it today. And as always, thank you for being here, for listening, and for continuing to write your life from the inside out. I'll see you in the next episode.