Cómo identificar un espacio seguro

A veces la seguridad no se siente como felicidad, se siente como poder respirar hondo sin pedir permiso. 

En esta conversación abrimos la caja negra de los “espacios seguros”: qué son en la práctica, por qué tu cuerpo los reconoce antes que tu mente y cómo se construyen con acciones pequeñas que sostienen la confianza. 

No prometemos burbujas perfectas; apostamos por relaciones donde el conflicto no humilla y los límites no castigan.

Partimos de una verdad incómoda: puedes estar triste o en desacuerdo y aun así habitar un lugar seguro. 

Desde ahí, ponemos sobre la mesa los green flags que de verdad importan en pareja, familia y trabajo: escucha activa sin prisas por arreglarte, curiosidad genuina por tus gustos (aunque no los compartamos), coherencia entre palabras y acciones, y capacidad de reparar tras un roce. 

También contrastamos criterios de exclusión (los famosos red flags) con criterios de inclusión que elevan el estándar emocional. Entre anécdotas de crianza, K‑Pop en el carro y cenas ruidosas que aprendimos a evitar, modelamos cómo validar emociones reales con cuidados concretos.

Dedicamos un tramo al “termómetro interno”: la interocepción que te dice cuándo tu hombros bajan o cuándo la mandíbula aprieta. Hablamos de señales en contextos laborales cargados, de preparar el cuerpo para eventos familiares y de decidir cuándo poner distancia sana. 

Si buscas estrategias prácticas, te llevas microhábitos claros: acordar pausas antes del pleito, nombrar la emoción con pocas palabras, ofrecer opciones más silenciosas cuando alguien está cargado y celebrar diferencias sin ridiculizar. La regla de oro: si el cuerpo puede soltar aire aquí, estás cerca de casa.

Si esta conversación te dio pistas útiles, suscríbete, compártela con alguien que esté buscando sus green flags y déjanos tu reseña con la señal que más te ayudó a reconocer seguridad. Queremos leerte.

💚 Este es nuestro espacio seguro. Y queremos compartirlo contigo.

Recursos mencionados: 

• Campaña Green Flags con Casa Julia-> ahiespr.com

Síguenos: 

📧 Newsletter: Autocuidado Sin Culpa 

📱 Instagram: @drairmatorres / @desdeunespacioseguro  

Para ayuda de salud mental 24 horas/7días - Linea PAS 1-800-981-0023 Servicios de Psicoterapia con la Dra. Irma Torres 

Transcript

Qué Es Un Espacio Seguro

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Un espacio seguro no es lo mismo que felicidad absoluta.

SPEAKER_02 0:03

Exacto. Hay a veces que espacios seguros se pueden sentir tristes.

SPEAKER_01 0:07

Hoy vamos a desmenuzar cómo se ve, cómo se siente, cuáles son esas banderas verdes dentro de un espacio seguro.

SPEAKER_02 0:13

Acompáñanos.

SPEAKER_01 0:14

A veces lo que necesitamos es un espacio seguro.

SPEAKER_02 0:18

Un espacio para pausar, para pensar in voz alta y para mirarnos con más honestidad.

SPEAKER_01 0:23

Somos la doctora Irma Torres y el Dr.

SPEAKER_02 0:25

Héctor Rojas, profesionales de psicología, pareja, cómplices de aventures and of muchas conversations.

SPEAKER_01 0:32

Aquí vamos a hablar de la vida como es, del cansancio, de las relaciones, de lo que duele y también de lo que sostiene.

SPEAKER_02 0:43

Desde un espacio seguro.

SPEAKER_01 0:49

In this episode we're going to talk about a thing super important that I atviered like a professional, desde my sombrero as psychologist, but I atravies like person because I'm when I have spaces. But you say that not everyone does this.

SPEAKER_02 1:09

Totally.

SPEAKER_01 1:19

And this is one of the principles of trauma, and I think of the life in general. And in many occasions, we're appreciated to silenciate much of the world, and the information. And when we look at segue, you can say to a person that the space is seguro, all the mediums of segue, but not necessarily because there are certain signals, dynamics, or things that create this incommunity.

SPEAKER_02 2:10

Y yo, eso es un alago.

SPEAKER_01 2:12

And cierto when JJ me said this, but I'm personal. But I think that he sented, because it's particularly a high dormant, and I think that the system nervous of papa has more clicks for suavizar to him, right? And I have my personal segue, Javi is one of them, I have amist that I sort of. In my case, I try to say much for my formation in trauma, right? Because the promoter, and in this space, I try to relate to me. In the relationship, I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_02 2:59

Claro, and you're saying that I'm going to talk a little bit about aspects clinical. In many occasions, I bring this. In many occasions, we use the verbalization. And in many occasions, I'm done that constructing this space, you have a travel humor.

SPEAKER_01 4:07

And when I saw it in the reading social, I enjoyed a message rapidly and I think that it's at incomodity, but we started and say that it's ethical, it's good. And so I connect with you that a lot of things so sencilly like me gonna be, or something that represents the person, that the person, but then when you see and we know that they're attributed to, I think that would be a gestion to create this space, I don't know, I'm curious, and I'm seeing the esfuerce that they're making for that common.

Gustos, Identidad Y Adolescencia

SPEAKER_02 5:23

Or when in any way or another my gusts, my interests not. Normally, and I know that we suggest that in another man or another, because we are creating and we're in our adolescence, we enter in our adult temporary adult, one comes to identificate some gusts, intereses, entre others, and when encontramos who, wow, que interesante, como que conectan con lo que tú estás trayendo, aunque no estén de acuerdo, pues eso se siente como un espacio seguro, y me acuerdo de JJ. Nuestro hijo está pasando por una etapa que se llama K-pop.

SPEAKER_01 6:08

Me imagino que muchas personas han podido escuchar K-Pop Demon Hunters, Golden, y todo eso.

SPEAKER_02 6:16

Sí, pues, gracias a K-Pop Demon Hunters, eso has provocado que nuestro hijo está explorando otra artists.

SPEAKER_01 6:23

Claro, porque los algoritmos are así. Son así andas a las que les prestamos atención.

SPEAKER_02 6:28

Correcto. And for example, now we are in BTS, ahora we are with Blackpink, and the music, and when we're in the car, he escuched and escuched, and it's difficult.

SPEAKER_01 6:42

There are many cancel that are dubas to the biggest thing.

SPEAKER_02 6:47

And in an occasion, when he regained that Papa, you say, Ay, JJ, for sure. Papa, Mamma, this me molests. Because when you escuch these cancelations, you don't criticize, you don't say nothing, and I mean this type of cancer, and you say well, and you say, Wow, what's that? And one man or other, like in this moment, you hung consciente, and I assume that you también, that wow, okay, we're at the spirit, and this is a reflection.

SPEAKER_01 7:26

Claro, because it is constructed in this moment. And if you matern, paternist, amistads who are in this adolescence, it's an episode where we empezamos to construct the identity and encajar, sentir, and I feel that we empiezan a creature of this sort of internal, because when you don't sentir, and it affects the infancies, right? But in the adolescence, it's like a second chance that we have to identific, sentirnos visible, and in much occasional essence of not having been vista, that not having been sustained, sustained in space with personas that significant for us, there are an impact in how you can feel or not confiar in other people. And so, in the case of JJ, I didn't know that, whether it's reclaming that we accept, talk about other areas, right? Other characteristics that he has, but then we're entering in an episode of adolescence.

SPEAKER_02 9:02

Compramos para Reyes, le regalamos un MP3.

SPEAKER_01 9:06

Sí, un MP3.

SPEAKER_02 9:07

Un MP3 que ahora antes existía el iPod, antes existía el Zoom.

SPEAKER_01 9:11

Antes existían los CD Players.

SPEAKER_02 9:14

CD Players, ¿verdad? Que era algo un poquito más portátil, y encontramos una cosa, parece un celular, no es un celular, pero que tiene todas las applications of streaming, the música. And aparece Spotify, qué sé yo. Él tiene una cuenta de Spotify donde él tiene su música, que es la que le ponemos in the carro, and others, left suspicions, and you want to segue that. Are there your apparatus of music, pues escuchar the cancel, logic passing by our filter, part of the supervision? But aunque this music is of my grade, no is a music that I escuch, disfruta and I am disfruta. And a lot of choreography in the car when we're coming.

SPEAKER_01 10:09

I don't know, and at the principal introduction of this episode, one of the things that we mentioned is that the siempre is a felicity absolute, and de igual maneira not that no we're going to have conflict, no we're going to have disagrees. But I want to add an example punctual with an amiga, and I will because I say I will talk about this story, and it is Gisette, Gisette Sibred, who had a relation very good. And the year Gisette language, and the second time that she was languaging, I had another person who was lancing her life. And for one of the events of language, Gisette was invited. But when she was invited, my other amount who was lancing the library was invited, and I said that I was.

SPEAKER_02 12:31

Correct. Possibly spaces realmente pueden existir la familia. And there are spaces that not, dental of the family.

SPEAKER_01 13:11

Totally, totally.

SPEAKER_02 13:19

It's simply sensibly preparing us that okay, I'm quite a space that not necessarily is completely sick for me.

SPEAKER_01 13:34

Recognize that not to go to space for compromises, so it's a space that not sends a lot in this moment.

SPEAKER_02 13:52

Sorry, sorry, sorry. Estamos bien, estamos bien. Okay. Siglo, sigue, siglo.

Interocepción Y Termómetro Interno

SPEAKER_01 13:56

Sí, yo no sé, yo creo que vamos a tener que hacer otra cosa con el micrófono. Bueno, es el termómetro interno. And the principal del episodio estamos hablando de cómo sentimos o no sentimos nuestras señales. In terms of the neurociencia, esto se llama interocepción. And the interocepción es la capacidad que tenemos de notar nuestras señales internas. Andemos que en el mundo que vivimos, estamos constantemente estimulados, hay mucho ruido, and it hace bien difícil poder realmente notar nuestro cuerpo, because we can prestar attention and esas señales. Is that o me siento relajada? Cómo está my respira. And this is entrenchment, because a lot of you see it, and I think you don't want to say that, but the corner is at the end, siempre está haciendo. Claro. Andar what they send or not. Because the life guards the signal. And in spaces where you have been violent, in spaces where you've been humbled, in which you don't have this, instintively not a process logical. Instinctively, your life is in defense. And all this defense that we're in, so I create this termómetro interno is like an invitation to experiment and prestarle attention. Javi, ¿cómo es tu termómetro interno?

SPEAKER_02 15:46

Pues mira, cuando puedo pensar in spaces laborales.

SPEAKER_01 15:53

Eso es un super example.

SPEAKER_02 15:58

Inspirating in this, and pensando in other spaces that you were anterior, de certain many, these mañana se sentences. There are moments in which you are placent and okay, I think it's incommodo. It is super cargado. And how often or another identification and get responsible from it, in one way or another, ayuddle to reduce it. It's an experience in which lamentably, right? Where would you have a lot of reflection of okay, this is provocation in my life, what I do after this?

Estrés Laboral Y Señales Del Cuerpo

SPEAKER_01 17:30

Claro, claro. Just with intense, compulsada, insomnia, the life before you get. And the years have passed, the conscience has passed, and really much in this part. And I think that I have a super bad name of interoception. It's what I do. And it's like it's a generalization, it's not in the room. But obviously, what I'm saying yoga, meditating, practicing the connection in the corner. If you live 12 and you have this concerning, 14 to 15 years, which are tantas for notar esas señales of my cup, which obviamente me hace fácil, but I'm not sure that my privileges, ya lo siento. Sino invitar a las personas with curiosidad cómo se siente en el cuerpo, andar when aparezcan esas emotions oras, mejor dicho, incómodas because van aparecer and it significa que tú estás dañada ni ni dañada, significa que tu cuerpo te está hablando cómo lo vamos a escuchar.

SPEAKER_02 19:09

Claro. Ando una campaña que tú hiciste, creo que fue con un hogar que era de los green flags.

SPEAKER_01 19:19

Sí, esa fue la colaboración del año pasado con Casa Julia de AES. AIESTAMISCONEL y no la encontraba.

SPEAKER_02 19:30

Esa campaña fue bien bonita y muy pertinente porque constantemente estamos hablando de los red flags.

SPEAKER_01 19:37

Claro.

SPEAKER_02 19:41

Andiza ahora no es la intention, but quizás podamos hablar un poco más de relations de pareja.

SPEAKER_00 19:47

Me gusta.

SPEAKER_02 19:48

And in occasion, a veces utilizamos criterios de exclusión como criterios, ¿verdad?

SPEAKER_01 19:57

Ay Javi, tú no sabes cuánto me frustra eso.

SPEAKER_02 19:59

A mí también.

SPEAKER_01 20:00

Me frustra tanto cuando yo veo a personas who merece. O sea, porque todas las personas merecen una relación bonita, una relación that we are vista, donde nos amen, donde nos cuidamos, todo el mundo merece esas relaciones. Y ver a una persona who in búsqueda de la relación está dispuesta a aceptar lo que sea solamente porque por estar con alguien anda descartar los red flags or the criteria de exclusiones. Pero no buscar esos criterios de inclusion.

SPEAKER_02 20:38

Ay, es que esos criterios de inclusion. Porque normalmente, por ejemplo, vamos a poner un ejemplo. Yo no consumo alcohol and no me gusta ir a fiesta, pues a criterio de exclusiones sería una persona who va a fiesta. Or who consume mucho alcohol, ¿verdad? Eso sería un criterio de exclusiones, ando trayendo un ejemplo. Yo soy vegetarian, for an ejemplo, and this criteria of exclusion sería a persona who comes carne. Oh, cigarillo, you don't fumo, no me gustan personas who fumen, pues a criterio de exclusion sería que no fumes.

SPEAKER_01 21:17

Ese es un criterio de exclusiones para mí, because yo no puedo compartir mi vida con alguien que fume.

SPEAKER_00 21:22

Claro.

SPEAKER_01 21:23

No hay manera, no estoy juzgando a quien lo hace. Cada persona hace con su salud what quiera. But para mí, and if you eras, ten por certeza that if you vas a sacar un cierrillo, yo me voy a alejar. Eso es un criterio de exclusión, pero no cualquier persona que no fume me voy a emparejar con esa persona.

SPEAKER_02 21:43

Correcto, correcto. Andon, ¿qué es lo que suele suceder? No consume alcohol, no fuma, buena persona, esto es lo otro.

SPEAKER_01 21:52

Cumple.

SPEAKER_02 21:52

Cumple. Pues de alguna manera cumple. Y ahí es que tú traíste en esa campaña los green flags.

SPEAKER_01 21:58

Los green flags.

SPEAKER_02 21:59

Hablamos un poquito de.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

Esa campaña estuvo bien buena. Si el link está todavía activo, lo voy a poner en las notas del episodio porque te ayuda a hacer un quiz de cuáles son esos no negociables y esos green flags. Y la idea de los green flags es que tú puedas identificar cuáles son esas señales buenas, que hay algunas generales que se las vamos a compartir, pero también esas cosas que significan para ti. And you creo que esa parte es importante. Vamos con las generales, Javi. La primera es la escucha activa. ¿Cómo se ve eso?

SPEAKER_02 22:28

Simple y sencillamente escuchando sin juzgar and prestándole atención a lo que está diciendo and no pasando orientable juicio tan pronto the person ni siquiera terminated verbalizing or verbalizing, dejar, mano, tú estás mal por estar pensando así. Sin pasar por un process of validation of what is the person.

SPEAKER_01 22:50

Validation podemos have 15 episodios because this is complex, no sale natural. I explicitly in my taller, in my character, that the validation is in the código genético puertorriqueño. O sea, nuestra society is the society that you have in Jebao or adolescent. And what's the one that you say? Adelante vive. It's a tema that we saw. But this escucha active is how to recognise escuch a person since they contest, simply escuchar a person, no juzgar, and have this validation where aunque this no resuene contigo, aunque you no te sient default, pues entender that for this person hace lógica que se sienta así.

SPEAKER_02 23:43

Correcto. Y eso me acuerda, hay una página en Instagram. Reels, Reels, ¿verdad? Reels. Es que tú lo subes. Ajá, lo que es la vida. Después me imagino que Mita va a utilizar eso para.

SPEAKER_01 23:58

Sí, tengan paciencia con Javi. Él no entiende bien Instagram y piensa que las historias y los reels son lo mismo.

SPEAKER_02 24:04

Pienso que son iguales. Continúa, Javi, por favor. Pues mira, hay una página de este muchacho que es súper cómica. Cómica por como él lo presenta, pero muy pertinente. ¿Por qué? Porque él está en un campo abierto y él tiene dos banderas. Entonces tiene una bandera roja bien grande. Una bandera azul bien grande. Entonces, pues, como que, y me acuerdo, uno de sus reels era de esta persona escuchando activamente a su esposa, or a su pareja, asumo, and the person y sencillamente, y simplemente era escuchando, and they pasaba la mano por la cabeza because this other person.

SPEAKER_01 24:53

Oh, God!

unknown 24:54

Oh, God!

SPEAKER_01 24:54

Sí, bandera verde, definitiva.

Escucha Activa Y Validación

SPEAKER_02 24:59

Dios mío, se me olvida.

SPEAKER_01 25:00

Si la encontramos, la ponemos en la visa para incluir el humor like del aprendizaje.

SPEAKER_02 25:06

Zumba.

SPEAKER_01 25:07

Entonces, another elemento, and that we discuti with the ejemplo de Gisette is the part of no or establishing limites since representative.

unknown 25:16

Correct.

SPEAKER_01 25:17

Una relation, you no tienes. But internally there's this segue that you have with this person.

SPEAKER_02 25:31

Correct. Correct. And in many occasions, because I succeeded, I heard in different parts, we're going to get parents, we're going to talk about crimes. And when you communicate exploration, and how do you ensear respect from my younger?

unknown 26:04

I enseigned.

SPEAKER_02 26:05

And so dental of a relation, the money doesn't have.

SPEAKER_01 26:43

And I function a little bit like okay, it responds to those experiences of my life, and it's logical that I'm, but if you have connection with the moment present, it's sort of different. So there are occasions like Irma, I'm saying I connect with the world, you see. But record that the pensions would activate sensations in the life. It's like it seems construyendo a little to a little bit with the actions, con la consistency, and not signify that the person is perfecta ni mucho menos, but I mentioned el no.

Límites Claros Sin Castigo

SPEAKER_02 27:53

Particularly for the homes. Totally, totally. But there was no type of representative, there was no type of difficulty, there was no type of incomodity. I had a day intense, very difficult. See, super, but no quieres and we're in a restaurant. Javi, I'm very cargada. I can't get me in there. And you tiens the reason why all the restaurants vont estar llenos, it's ruido.

SPEAKER_01 29:02

Aunque you pudieras in that moment the capacity to manage it, I was sending empático and you know.

SPEAKER_02 29:10

Totally.

Nombrar Emociones Y Pausar

SPEAKER_01 30:27

Dentro of my door. And in occasion, it would be a little bit more evitative. But dentro of our relationship, we're creating a connection where you will have a space. But I molesta that he said that I'm not. Okay, it's like evidently there's a conversation pending. But it's good. So I'm this example because a lot of people say it will be a good one, and you can recognize in which he said that, right? But in fact, I think I'm saying, or I send in that manner, I'm listening to this aspect of reconocer the emotion that you can say of that manner, right? Because in many occasions we put a limit and pretend that the person is like cool. I'm going to put an example of the nene that the predecibility and we're going to ba, they did in 15, in 10, in 5, yeah, yeah, we're going to bait, and he is molesto because he didn't bail. Well, it would be molesto, and this is odd. It has patients who mean of his hijo adolescents and me, no, yes, you molestó because you le dije that, uh, and how many corages? Nada, sure, and después normal, but mine se molestó, but okay, you se molestó and no. O sea, la molestia is an emotion completely normal. And so I create, right? And you mean me corregirás because your experience you are traduciendo, that in those moments when you measured estoy, quiz of this apprentice of relations not seguras, totally, don't you say I'm versus okay, I send incommodo, frustrated, molesto, and precisely utilizing this, and part of the crack the code is okay, you described that you, if you have an incomodity with you, you need to accost me to dorm.

SPEAKER_02 32:58

Molesto.

SPEAKER_01 33:02

Vamos a una hora, soy a la novia.

SPEAKER_02 33:05

Sí, o sea, because I'm a generation and there are verbalisations that I escuched a rato in the radio, and you said, Dios mío, but you're mad. Okay, fine, there are people who can function, but nothing to the world. Not to the world gonna be the mantecado of vainilla, and not for this significant that the mantecado of vainilla is bad. So, how you have a reset, across me, and the other day I'm sure that we're gonna have this conversation.

SPEAKER_01 33:39

So, in this manner, I put this example of how function takes this way, express the emotion, that I'm gonna say that I'm a physically I'm telling you, and what this provocate in me, versus saying I'm incommodo, I'm frustrated, necesit a space, and you think, okay, okay, okay. But it's the emotion, no? It's the emotion. Esa part of accepting the emotion, aunque va de la mano con la part of validation, creo que it's important.

SPEAKER_02 34:20

Alright, and rapidito, rapidito, rapidito, es que me acuerdo, ¿te acuerdas del Titanic with Jay? ¿Te acuerdas del Titanic? My hijo is very curious. No sé si esto lo habíamos comentado, and when he had a curiosity and interesting, we used a documentary about it. She used information. But he was very interested in the Titanic. We were to get a documental, not a pelican, a documental. And he started to have a documentary, no me acuerdo what was the documental. Mamá sale and commented to say, Amore, like you said. Okay, no matter what. But no quería dormir solo because he had the temor that Titanic iba a entration.

SPEAKER_01 35:24

But else era real.

SPEAKER_02 35:25

But the miedo era real. Lógicamente, hacerle entrar a él in raison in this moment when he had an emotion more intense, no function and no function, because the miedo se siente en el cuerpo, él lo sentía en el cuerpo. Él lo que necesitaba era sentirse seguro. Papa, acuérdate con me. But you acosté con él, and the frisita pesada.

SPEAKER_01 35:55

Porque le da ansiedad en la espalda.

SPEAKER_02 35:56

Le da ansiedad en la espalda. Le puse la frisita pesada and weight blankets, which are an exit maravilloso. I accosté con él y nos quedamos dormindo todavía. He sort of seguro, not all that you validated this emotion. And I was debating this pension that demonious entertainment is a Titanic at this point.

Cierre, Valores Y Retroalimentación

SPEAKER_01 36:18

Totally. Well, you know that more than I've covered the things that we have another in terms of pre-production. We're haciendo un esfuerzo bien genuino because queremos que este podcast sea un espacio donde reinen las conversaciones, but también ser intencionales ands no nos escuchen blabling, ¿verdad? Donde estamos blah blah blah blah solamente, sino como que tener esta structura. Así que también nos gustaría recibir su feedback, que nos dejen saber cómo se sienten, qué les ha gustado. Hay muchos temas que a lo mejor depende de lo que ustedes nos envían, quizás podamos abundar en otros episodios. Javi, algo sobre el tema de identificar espacios seguros que tú creas que se nos queda?

SPEAKER_02 37:00

Yo creo que nos dejan saber las personas que nos escuchan.

SPEAKER_01 37:04

This voy a mencionar fora episodio, but that's connected for each, and it's the conciencia of the values.

SPEAKER_02 37:13

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 37:26

And in all momentum, we're going to have intersectionality. But no, we don't have time. We have to have a boda. But we're going to say we have a camisa of bottoms, observe it, because this probably because we are a boda, but not comparing with you this project that we encourage, which is so illusion, that we live with compromises with our community.

SPEAKER_02 37:56

Claro, and others for starting, escuching. Quality commentary, commentary, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 38:06

Now you can segue in the page of Instagram from.