From Hangovers To Clarity: Launching Pure Kaos

A clear head on January 1 after three decades of hangovers changes everything. We open the door on Pure Kaos with zero polish and total honesty: what it’s like to wake up sober, remember the night, and decide to tell the whole story of addiction, relapse, and real recovery. The conversation moves from raw confession to practical tools, tracing the “just one drink” lie that became week-long benders and the hard-won acceptance that being an alcoholic means never negotiating with that first sip.

We get personal about triggers, especially travel. Mexico used to be an all-inclusive blur; now it’s a test of intention and planning. You’ll hear how non-alcoholic rum recreated an old ritual without the fallout, why substitutions matter for cravings, and how to build routines that make sober choices easier in the moments that count. We also talk about turning 50, celebrating ten months on the way to a one-year milestone, and the relief of starting a new year without shame or guesswork.

Pure Kaos aims to be a weekly home for people who are sober, sober-curious, or simply tired of pretending that drinking is harmless. Expect straight talk about the relapse loop, the thoughts that lead to “I’m fine now,” and the everyday structures that keep recovery intact. We’ll bring on guests with lived experience, share tools that actually help, and keep the tone compassionate for anyone who slipped last night and still wants tomorrow. If you’ve ever asked yourself whether clarity could feel better than a buzz, this is your place to find out.

If the story resonates, subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review so others can find the show. Your feedback will shape future episodes—what do you want us to tackle next?

We can choose to give in to the KAOS, or we can forge a new path forward!

Transcript

New Year, New Podcast

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Hello everyone and welcome to the very first Pure Chaos podcast. Full disclosure, I have no fucking idea what I'm doing. This is all new to me, and I just am gonna put it out there, and I felt what a day to begin than New Year's 2026. So happy New Year's, everybody! What makes this New Year's really fucking special for me is this is the very first New Year's day that I have ever woken up without a hangover in as long as I can remember. Um 30 30 plus years, I think. And uh I guess uh

Why Tell This Story

SPEAKER_01 0:50

a little bit about me. My name's Chris, Chris Chaos. Uh you've tuned in to the Pure Chaos podcast, which is something I want to start doing and releasing probably one episode a week. Uh day to be determined. Not quite sure what day. I've never in my life done a podcast. Uh, this is all new to me. Right now I'm using Audacity. Uh again, no idea what I'm doing, but if you're listening to this, thank you. And happy fucking New Year's 2026. So, what did you guys get up to for New Year's? You know, did you drink? Did you do some drugs? What did you all get up to? Uh, like I said, this is my first New Year's being sober. Uh fucking strange. It's fucking strange waking up and not being hung over and remembering everything. Like, what is up with that? You know, is that what I've been missing all these fucking times? Now, uh, because this is my first podcast, like I said, full disclosure, it's probably gonna fucking suck. I mean, I don't know what the hell I'm doing. Um, I know what I want to talk about throughout the course of this podcast, and that's basically, you know, it's pure chaos, the life and death of an alcoholic.

Defining The Show’s Focus

SPEAKER_01 2:07

Uh, I'm 10 months sober. Uh coming up tomorrow will be 10 months sober. Um, so I mean, you know, for me, it's it's not a huge milestone, but to me, it fucking is, right? I mean, anything that we do um when it comes to trying to get sober and just trying to, you know, take control of our life from addiction, I think is great, whether it's a day, a week, a month, a year, you know, da-da-da. Uh, but yeah, uh, how did I get here? Uh well, I have had probably one of the most crazy fucking lives. Um, at least out of anyone I've ever met, uh, they have just been amazed at for one, I'm alive. And just that I'm uh, you know, the the type of person that I am in in terms of, you know, I'm gamefully employed. Thank, you know, thank God. Luckily, uh, you know, I've got an amazing wife, two, you know, three, four kids. I'm like, how many kids do I have again? Fuck. But yeah, uh, it's just, you know, I don't know what I'm doing, but I just know that I want to get my story out there. You know, I want to tell my story, I want to help people. I want to, you know, I don't know how many times people have told me, you know, you should write a book, you should, you know, make a blog. I mean, I don't know how to make a fucking blog. So here I am doing a podcast, you know. Um, so one thing I will promise you is that if you guys stick around, it will get better, right? I'm gonna be looking for some feedback. I'm gonna be getting someone to help me out who kind of maybe knows the world of podcasts better. You know, eventually I'd love to have video as well as the audio side of this. So, you know, that's something that we'll get going to. But uh for now, I mean, thank you for tuning in. Like I said, this is pure chaos. Uh, the life and death of an alcoholic. What we're gonna be touching on is, you know, the struggles, the stories of uh, you know, addiction, you know, what it makes us do, what it makes us become, right? Like just the shame, the the shit that we've done, right? Whether we're plastered on liquor or, you know, maybe your drug of choice is cocaine or you know, meth or whatever the fuck it may be. Addiction's addiction. Uh for me personally, I was an alcoholic. I was a professional fucking alcoholic. Um for the most part, functioning alcoholic, but uh definitely a fucking alcoholic. Um, you know, going on benders, fucking a week-long, you know, drinking spree, you know, that would rack up, you know, thousands of dollars that I would just fucking spend. And then all the stupid shit that comes with that, right?

Turning Fifty Without The Bottle

SPEAKER_01 4:42

Uh, you know, I'll be 50 officially next month. Now, I guess it is January 1st, 2026. Once again, happy fucking new year. Um, but yeah, I uh turn 50 next month. So my wife and I will be going to Mexico, which, you know, back in the day, Mexico was my fucking playground. That was like my party house, right? That's where I just, oh man. Fuck. It was beautiful. It was fucking beautiful, right? Drink from sunup to sundown, fucking free unlimited liquor. Like, ha, what alcoholic wouldn't fucking love that, right? But, anyways, my wife and I will be going to celebrate my 50th in Mexico at one of my favorite resorts in Mexico in the Riviera Maya. As well as we are going, uh, I'm gonna be celebrating my one-year uh sobriety. I guess is that what you call it? One year sobriety date, uh, which is technically, you know, March 2nd. So I'm gonna be, you know, celebrating that. Now, I did go to Mexico uh with my wife back in October 31st for Halloween. I've pretty much gone to Mexico uh every year for the last five years. Um, but last October, so October 2025 for Halloween was the first time I went and didn't drink. And of course, for me, that is fucking huge because I mean Mexico was my party playground. So a part of me was really, you know, just worried, what the fuck is, you know, is it gonna be like am I gonna be able to not drink in fucking Mexico where fucking alcohol flows like water? You know, it's fucking easier to find fucking alcohol in Mexico than than it is to find water.

First Sober Trip To Mexico

SPEAKER_01 6:27

Also, I feel like I should put out there, uh, you know, obviously this podcast is a mature subject. So if you are under the age of 18, you probably shouldn't be fucking listening to it. But hey, you know what? I put that disclaimer out. Um, I do curse a lot. I'm like a fucking trucker. Also, I'm nervous as fuck, so I'm just you know drinking my coffee and doing what I can. Uh, but anyway, so yeah, Mexico. I go there with my wife. I thought it would be uh, I thought it would be just rough, and I don't know how I was gonna get through it. So what I did is I packed about six two sixes of this brand of rum, non-rum, it's non-alcohol rum that I love called Undone. Uh Undone, let me actually reach back here and grab a bottle of this. Oh yeah, so the brand is called Undone, it's non-alcoholic Jamaican Dark Cane, and then it says, This is not rum. Anyways, if you are a recovering alcoholic, and if you are not drinking, because obviously you are a recovering alcoholic, well, for one, congratulations, and you know, the struggle is real. But two, this fucking rum tastes amazing, like absolutely amazing. Um, for any of you who have ever tried

Non‑Alcohol Rum That Helped

SPEAKER_01 7:47

uh Ron Barcello, uh Grand Añejo, it is a beautiful, delicious fucking rum. Rum and Cokes were my go-to uh back in the day. But this non-rum from Undone, wow! Like honestly, give it a try. Uh, I find it at my local wine and beyond store. They have a nice huge section of non-alcohol drinks. But you can literally uh you know go right to their website, Upside Drinks. Oh, I don't even know the website. Like I said, this first podcast is gonna be a bit of a clusterfuck. But uh yeah, it's um ah fuck, I can't believe my first fucking New Year's Eve. Sober. First New Year's Day, sober. Waking up at, you know. Slept in, of course, because I stayed up with our one daughter, you know. We stayed up till 12 to ring into New Year. My wife and her other daughter had already gone to sleep, but but uh yeah, we stayed up, rang into New Year, and then by 12:30 I was fucking comatosed. But yeah, it's nice to wake up at, you know, 8 o'clock in the morning and just have that clarity, right? You're not wondering what the fuck happened, right? Waking up in God knows where with God knows who, and you know, a fucking drained bank account. Um, so you know, for any of you who are struggling with uh addiction, whether it's you know drugs or alcohol, you know, you're not alone. I I definitely understand the struggle. And uh, you know, no matter what you got up to on New Year's, if you had a sober New Year's, congratulations. Good for you. You know, and if you uh, you know, partied your ass off and drank, you know what? There is no fucking judgment.

Waking Up Clear On New Year’s

SPEAKER_01 9:30

Because believe me, uh, you know, one New Year's out of the last fucking 30-something New Year's, being sober for one out of 30 something, you know, it's a very small little task for me, anyways, but you know, it's the first. So yeah, fuck, here's, you know, cheers to me. And uh, for any of you who manage to stay sober, for New Year's, fucking cheers to you as well, you guys. You know, it's it's rough. It's rough. We live in a world where you know just drinking is everywhere, right? It's fuck, you can get a drink. I think they're putting fucking beer at 7-Elevens now here in Canada. Like it's it's insane. So with this podcast, you know, we're gonna be talking about stuff of my life. We're gonna be talking about, you know, just addiction in general, talking about stories. As this podcast, you know, develops and kind of grows. My goal, um, what I'd like is you know, is to have guest people on, you know, who are recovering from alcoholics or you know, who are just trying to get help and don't know where the fuck to go. Just to have people on, because I think in a world of literally pure fucking chaos that we live in right now, it's nice to just have a little

Plans, Guests, And Posting Schedule

SPEAKER_01 10:49

clarity, right? Turn down the fucking yelling, turn down the noise for a little bit. Uh, so that that's about it. I know this first one for me, I'm I'm probably just rambling away like a fucking idiot, but uh thanks for putting up with it. Hey, um yeah, and I'm gonna obviously try to post this on Spotify, which again I've never done, so hopefully I even get this posted. Who knows? And I think Apple, Apple Podcasts. So yeah, if you're hearing this later on, thank you. Thank you. Because honestly, I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing. So um probably be doing one podcast a week. Not sure what day I'd be dropping them. I'm thinking Sundays for some reason, just because you know, we're so busy with work and stuff during the week, like a Monday to Friday, right? We're go, go, go, especially if you got a family and kids. It's fucking busy, right? There's so much to do. But you know, the weekends are typically the times when we get to kind of catch our breath. So I'm thinking for me, Sundays. I'm thinking Sundays. I don't know why Sunday, but but anyways, I'll post this first one, because it's New Year's. And then yeah, probably the next one, you know, will be like Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, January 11th, Sunday, January 18th, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. Fuck, it sounds like a goddamn monster truck guy. Um, but yeah, we'll we'll see. But yeah, um, I guess all I can say for now is that, you know, this definitely will not be a boring podcast.

The Relapse Loop And Acceptance

SPEAKER_01 12:23

It is going to dive into a lot of stuff, a lot of issues, and just a lot of stories and struggles that I've personally had um from my drinking, right? I've I've obviously tried to stop drinking before. Unsuccessful as fuck. You know, I'll get six months or eight months in and be like, woo-hoo. And then I'm like, I'm cured, I'm better. I didn't drink for six months, I don't have a fucking problem. And then uh then I decide, you know what? I'm just gonna have one because I've I've licked this addiction. I've I'm better. And I have that one fucking drink, and it's like a fucking light switch, and that's it, man. Like, next thing you know, I'm fucking on a seven-day bender, right? And hating my fucking self, and so drinking more to fucking forget that I'm hating myself. And you know, when you have a like when I was single, right? Because I I just got like uh you know, kind of eloped like a year ago, actually on Halloween. On uh Halloween uh 2024 is when I uh eloped with my beautiful, beautiful wife. And uh, you know, I I was drinking on that trip, you know, and I've of course you always think, okay, I can have one and I'll be good, but I can't, man. I think one thing that I really have to learn about myself and just accept a cold hard, you know, fucking truth is that I'm an alcoholic and I will always be an alcoholic. Um, you know, it's not easy to say. I mean, it took me a while to want to admit that because I just thought, you know, maybe I maybe I just, you know, was only drinking that much because, you know, my my life was stressful or you know, job stress or whatever the case may be. Then I realized, no, I'm I'm fucking drinking because I'm an alcoholic and I need it. And so, you know, for for me, um, as soon as I have one drink, it's like a fucking switch goes off in my head, and I I can't stop it, man. Like I'm a fucking train and I'm just gonna barrel through uh, you know, until I literally

Owning The Label And The Past

SPEAKER_01 14:40

black out. And then, you know, typical, you know, you wake up in the morning, you're feeling like shit because you're fucking, you know, uh, two bottles of rum in and however many fucking wine. Uh and then yeah, you reach over in the morning, fucking hair of the dog, right? Sure a lot of you have had that hair of the dog. Ugh, that glorious, beautiful hair of the fucking dog.

SPEAKER_00 15:03

Um, yeah, it's uh beast, man.

SPEAKER_01 15:08

It's a fucking demon. And for me, I just yeah, kept thinking that, okay, well, you know, I'm not an addict. I'm I'm not. I don't have a problem. I mean, I can stop anytime I want. I just need it right now to get through whatever the fuck is going on in my life. And that was uh, yeah, that's kind of how I lived my life for, let's say, with drinking for 30 years, right? I mean, we'll get into you know a little bit more about me and you know, I'm I'm Canadian. You probably don't know if you could tell from the accent, but uh, oh yeah, I'm uh definitely Canadian there, bye. Um but yeah, it's you know, I grew up in Canada, uh you know, I'm 49 years old, you know, grew up in the on the prairies, you know, little house on a prairie. But I don't fuck, yeah, it's I don't know. I think a lot of things in our lives, or maybe our what's happened in our past, can really be attributed to you know certain things, addiction and whatnot, but we'll get all into that. I

Gratitude, Next Steps, And Support

SPEAKER_01 16:12

mean, I wanted to really, really, really get this first podcast out today on January 1st, 2026, because it's my first sober New Year's in over 30 years. And I woke up this morning and I don't know, it just took a moment to really let that sink in that I have been fucking drunk every New Year's, except for this one, for the last 30 something years, right? I'll get into I could probably figure out exactly how many years it's been, but fuck me, right? Like, yeah, and so to be able to wake up, you know, have that clarity and you know, my head not pounding and my fucking arms not shaking or hands not shaking because I'm fucking like needing that drink. And to be able to actually do a podcast is actually pretty fucking impressive for myself, anyways. It's uh so yeah, thank you for being here. I don't know how long a podcast is usually supposed to be. I feel like I've rambled on um long long enough, but yeah, I just want to say thank you, guys. Uh, whoever, guys, girls, you know, whoever's here, whoever's listening to this, thank you. You know, please, um, I guess, you know, subscribe if you can. I don't even know. But uh yeah, definitely, definitely keep your eye out for more pure chaos. And that's chaos with a K-A-O-S. Because yeah, it's gonna be it's gonna be fun, it's gonna be entertaining, it's gonna be uh, you know, sad, it's gonna be a little bit of fucking everything.

SPEAKER_00 17:44

So it's a it's yeah, thank you for being here, guys.

SPEAKER_01 17:51

Happy New Year again. Sorry if this first podcast is just cringe. Um, yeah. I guess we'll stop right here at 18 minutes. Happy New Year's, everyone, and thank you for tuning in to Pure Chaos. Please tune in next week for more episodes of Pure Chaos. And if you're sober, congratulations. If you're struggling, I feel your pain. And just remember, you're not alone, man. In a world of chaos, we have each other.