Love That Lasts a Lifetime: Real Advice from a 70-Year Marriage

What does it really take to stay in love for 70 years?

In this heartfelt episode, The Weslohs share timeless wisdom on marriage, family, and building a life together through every season. 

Simple, real, and powerful. This is the kind of advice you won’t hear anywhere else.

Hit play and discover what lasting love actually looks like.

Learn more, explore Soul Care resources, and connect with Dr. Sujay at DrSujayGlobal.com

Submit questions and topics at AskDrSujay.com 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Do you ever wonder how faith fits into leadership or how to lead with both power and purpose? If you're looking for wisdom that bridges culture, confidence, and calling, then this podcast is for you. Here's Global Diplomat, Business Strategist, and Women's Empowerment icon, your host, Ambassador Susan Johnson Cook.

SPEAKER_02 0:30

Hello again. Welcome to Ask Dr. Sujay. I am in the home of Velma and Marlon Wislow, and we are in Bemidji, Minnesota. I have met them through my daughter-in-law to be, Peaches Griffin. And it's just such a joy, first of all, to be in Bemidji, but it's such a joy to be in your home. Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_03 0:50

Thank you. You're very welcome.

SPEAKER_02 0:52

So you are the longest running married couple I've ever met. Tell us the total number of years.

SPEAKER_03 0:59

70 last September. Well, first of all, congratulations.

SPEAKER_02 1:03

You're welcome. You met in 1955 and married in 1955, but met in high school.

SPEAKER_03 1:08

Well, I always tell Velma I went to her baptism.

SPEAKER_02 1:11

So I was a baby.

SPEAKER_03 1:17

I knew who she was. Our parents were good friends, and we went to the same church at that time. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 1:23

The four of them grew up together. Is that amazing? And they married and had kids, and we were the product of that. And so you were really kind of meant to be.

SPEAKER_02 1:33

And we're on the Sabbath. We're doing this on the Sabbath day. So it's a great day to remind us who we are that you were in the church together. And I was a church leader. I was a pastor for 30 years, a Baptist pastor in New York City for 30 years. Yes, I was. So it was my honor to be here on the Sabbath day. What was it about each other that said we want to be together for the rest of our lives?

SPEAKER_03 1:56

Well, I think the one thing was that we like to do a lot of the same things. Yeah. And the one was a round dancing, square dancing.

SPEAKER_01 2:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 2:05

Yeah, just enjoying the out of the doors, too. And that's it.

SPEAKER_01 2:09

And we enjoyed the family aspect of things. Our families would get together for dinners. Many times before we ever dated, we would be at gatherings together. But the personal approach really is the best. And when I went to a country school, Merlin happened to go to a town school. And so when I started at that town school, I was a freshman. Yes. He was a senior. Oh my goodness. And so he was more interested in the older girl. Yes. Of course, you know. But what was the gleam in your eye about her?

SPEAKER_03 2:42

Well, I think that as she got older, why I suddenly realized that she was a very nice-looking lady, and all the stuff.

SPEAKER_01 2:49

Probably the dancing, I think, is because he called and asked me to go square dance. I love it.

SPEAKER_02 2:53

So I'm from the Boogie Down Bronx in New York. So we came out dancing. When they popped us and said it's a girl, I did the boogaloo. So, you know, it's wonderful. But you have exciting careers. You are a microbiologist?

SPEAKER_03 3:07

I'm an aquatic biologist.

SPEAKER_02 3:09

Aquatic biologist. Please tell us what that is.

SPEAKER_03 3:11

Well, aquatic biologist is a person who is trained to work with fish and other aquatic animals. And I spent well several years as an aquatic biologist right out of college. Okay. And but I transferred it later on to our wildlife section, working with private landowners, forage clubs, uh, future farmers' groups. Wow. And uh did a lot of traveling around the state.

SPEAKER_02 3:37

So, what do you major in to be an aquatic biologist?

SPEAKER_03 3:41

Biology. I had a major in biology, a broad science minor, and also a business administration planner.

SPEAKER_02 3:49

And you worked and you traveled alongside them many times. Well, what was your first profession and what did you retire from?

SPEAKER_01 3:55

Uh I retired from Potlatch Corporation. I worked in the human resources department there. I worked 10 years at Potlatch. That was my only full-time job after I married. I really wanted to take care of the children. Yes. And you had how many? Three. Three boys. Oh, okay. I love it. I'm a boy mom. I love we moved a lot too. When we married, we lived in St. Cloud, where he finished college. Okay. Then we moved to Detroit Lakes, which is another resort town like Bemidji, okay, a couple hours from here. Yes. We lived there 10 years. Then we moved to St. Paul, the suburb of Roseville. Yeah in St. Paul. And he was what did you do?

SPEAKER_03 4:41

I was at the wildlife section with the Department of National Districtism here in St. Paul. Seven or eight years we lived there.

SPEAKER_01 4:48

And then he got this promotion to be the regional director in Bemidji for Northern Minnesota for 22 counties. So it was a big promotion.

SPEAKER_02 4:58

Oh, that's a huge commo. Oh my goodness. Not promotion. That was a promotion. So how did you keep a marriage, motherhood, and moving? All the three M's, how did you keep things together? What was the glue?

SPEAKER_03 5:12

Well, I think liking to do some of the things I did travel a lot. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:18

I had to like being home with the kids a lot. Okay. Did you ever travel with him? Or as the kids got older? No, I really didn't. The state of Minnesota that wasn't looked upon as uh as proper at that time. Okay. End of the seasons. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. So no, I didn't travel a lot, but we took our vacations. We come from a large family. He has seven siblings. I have four. Oh my goodness. And we were about the oldest in each case, second oldest. And we attended many weddings and birthday parties and baptisms all over the country. Wow.

SPEAKER_02 5:58

And what was Christmas and Thanksgiving like when you all got together?

SPEAKER_01 6:02

Were there many times? It was a huge oh yes. Okay. It was huge. Sometimes our families in Princeton would be together, or we would celebrate at one place and then go to the other. They lived not too far apart, our parents.

SPEAKER_02 6:17

Okay, I love it. Yeah. So what's the highlight of your life, and what's the highlight of your marriage?

SPEAKER_03 6:24

Well, I think of our lives. We were able to travel to all 50 states in the US.

SPEAKER_02 6:29

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 6:30

That's been to seven provinces in Canada, along with Mexico. And we've been in Austria, uh, Germany, Switzerland, Belgium, and the Netherlands. So we got to be overseas.

SPEAKER_02 6:44

Okay. And what's a highlight for you of either marriage or life?

SPEAKER_01 6:48

Well, I think the traveling was great, but I think having our three children was a big highlight for me. Yes. It was so much fun to see them grow up and see how they have developed in their lives. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 7:02

And our grandchildren.

SPEAKER_01 7:03

And now we've got five grandchildren that have all graduated from college. Yes, that's amazing. Congratulations on that, too. The uh granddaughter, we have only one. She got a prepaid seven-year master doctor program at the University of Pittsburgh. Really? I need to meet her. That's amazing. What's going to be her field? Um the science of medicine. Sounds like is what it's. She's writing her thesis. Yeah. She's almost done. Okay. They told her now just take all the time you need. And I think she had 150 pages done the last we heard. Congratulations to you.

SPEAKER_02 7:43

One of the reasons I'm here in Bemidji is to the to your point about your sons, you know, I love them. I would speak to each one of them at least once a week. And once in Washington, DC, stayed on the Northeast, and once here in Bemidji. But just being a mother and just being able to, people like, you go to see, yeah, I'm going to see my sons. And with no pressure, we enjoy each other. And I think that's a highlight. So the times we're in now, some call it turbulent. You've seen many errors. What would you say? If you look in the camera, what would be your message to young people who are about to get married now? And what's your message to America as we celebrate our 250th? So what's your message to young people who are interested in marrying one another?

SPEAKER_03 8:28

Well, I guess get to know each other well before you're married. So you know their likes and their dislikes and their um idiosyncrasies in my poem.

SPEAKER_02 8:39

And uh they're good days and there's some women days, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:44

And the same thing in this country. We've seen it go from bad to I I call it terrible right now. I'm very uh concerned about what's going to happen to our country. And you know, I'm just really um sad to see what's happened in our later years here. I mean, I saw you know several wars. I was alive during World War II and the Korean War and the Vietnam War and uh Saudi Arabia and the thing we're in now, which is totally unnecessary.

SPEAKER_02 9:14

Unnecessary. Yeah. What's your message to young people about to marry?

SPEAKER_01 9:20

Well, I agree that it's it's good to get to know. I guess you generally know the person when you fall in love, you feel that that's the perfect person.

SPEAKER_02 9:30

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 9:30

And of course, for us, we knew each other. We grew up in the same environment, both of us. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 9:36

So you really knew each other. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 9:38

Right. And our parents were so much alike. And I don't know if the kids that get married now don't have that same advantage. You know, the they meet somebody and it's love at first sight. Yeah. And they've really gotta make sure it's the person. But there's a lot of divorce now.

SPEAKER_02 9:58

Yeah, there's a lot. A lot more than a lot more than our day. Yeah, exactly. A lot more. But to your point, I worked for two presidents. I worked for President Clinton and President Obama. I wear this because I was an ambassador for international religious freedom with President Obama. So I got to see the whole globe. And it is the toughest, most turbulent time in my life. Never thought we'd be here. But we always have to have a word of hope. So part of my subtitle of the show is Headliners of Hope. So, what's a word of hope that you have?

SPEAKER_03 10:32

Well, that's a real tough question. I'll have to say, if we could just see the uh countries all get back together again somehow, uh, without thinking you've got to go over and uh kick them out of their own country or kill people or whatever. I mean, this is just uh far it it shouldn't happen. And that and people just have to realize that they have to get along and just uh uh not put up with something like this.

SPEAKER_02 11:03

I guess. What do you say to your grandchildren? What's a message for them who have to it they have to receive what we're leaving them? What is your message to your aunts?

SPEAKER_01 11:16

I think they they remember what their grandpa did as his job, which preservation of our natural resources, and they all feel that very definitely. And I think that's a little hope for those kids, but I don't know if that will reach it won't reach everybody. But I just think people have got to they've got to study what's happening and they've got to try to dig into it and see is this what we want for our country?

SPEAKER_02 11:49

Right. Well, we have been talking to a major couple, 70 years of marriage. That's a major thing right there, the Weslaws. And thank you for having us in your home. And thank you for sharing with us on Ask Dr. Sujet. We can't cover everything today, but certainly if you have other questions, write to me at askdrsujay.com and we'll certainly get back to you. But it's been my pleasure to be in your home. We're gonna eat some pie and drink some. So I am ready for some homemade, this is sweet potato pie and some tea uh made by Peaches. And so we thank you so much for sharing with us. Until next time, this has been Ask Dr. Suj. Thank you again. Oh, yeah. All right, it's my pleasure to be with you. Take care and God bless.

SPEAKER_00 12:33

God bless you.com and pick up a free copy of Dr. Sujay's gift and join us on the next episode.