Maintaining Your Individuality as You Move Through Life

Who are you beneath the roles you play, the titles you carry, and the expectations placed on you? Life has a way of changing us, but it shouldn’t cause us to lose ourselves. In this episode, we’re talking about the importance of maintaining your individuality through every stage of life. From friendships and relationships to work and personal growth, we’ll explore how to honor your values, trust your own voice, and continue evolving without compromising the person you were created to be.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:15

Welcome to Rude Thoughts Podcast. I'm your host, Tierra, and on today's episode, we are going to be discussing individuality. Now do not laugh if I mess this word up because I will mess up a word. So let's get right into it. Have you ever stopped and asked yourself, who am I? Or how much of my life actually is my own life? There are some people who would respond to this question of who am I by saying, Oh, I'm a business owner, I'm a wife, I'm a husband, I'm a mom, a friend, a sister. But that's not really telling me who you are. Today's conversation isn't about standing out just for the sake of being different. It's about having the courage to become fully yourself. So y'all know I like to give you a definition. So let's start off by talking about what is individuality. A lot of people mistakenly think that individuality is rebelling against everything or being unique just to get attention or thinking that you are better than everyone else or rejecting community. But individuality is actually knowing who you are, living according to your values, making decisions that align with your conscience, and allowing yourself to evolve. So now that you know what individuality is, let's talk about losing your individuality. Losing your individuality can be so subtle, especially as you go through your day-to-day routine, that you may not even notice or realize it until you are dead set in the middle of it. This is something that actually happened to me, and I became aware of this about six years ago. I would say it was around 2020. I realized that my day-to-day only consisted of me working, doing wife duties, mother duties, and that was pretty much just it. I'm not sure if the whole pandemic also played a part in the whole discovery of me realizing how I was living my day-to-day or not. But I just realized that I wasn't spending any uninterrupted time with myself or actually discovering who I was without these roles of mother, wife, coworker, sister, or whatever else roles that I had at that time. I really realized that I wasn't really doing anything that brought me personal joy outside of parenting. Of course, that that brings me joy. Some people beg to differ, but I like being a parent. But your whole entire life can't revolve around that, if you know what I mean. So once I realized this, I started exploring who I was as an individual. I learned what feels good to my soul. I joined an adult kickball team. I started journaling. I joined a few meetup groups. I'm talking about, I did a whole bunch of random stuff. And I loved every bit of it. And ever since then, I have vowed to myself to not lose my individuality again. And for some people, it's quite simple to keep their individuality. They don't go through that phase of forgetting who they are without those roles. But for some other people, it can be difficult. And a part of me can understand why being your true and authentic self can feel scary. Because we are human, we are wired for belonging and connection. So I understand how that fear of rejection, that fear of disappointing family, that fear of failing publicly, or that fear of being misunderstood can make you want to conform to whatever expectations that others have for you. I like to tell people to ask yourself, what is my purpose for filling the blank? For example, what is my purpose for wanting to achieve this goal? Or what is my purpose for wanting this particular career? This is sort of a way to double check with yourself to make sure that you are doing things for the right purpose and not for someone else. So let's talk about how individuality is not isolation. Being yourself doesn't mean never asking for advice or never compromising or doing everything alone. Healthy individuality also values community, collaboration, accountability, and learning. But just in case you have already gotten to that place of losing your individuality, that is okay as long as we do something about it. Here are some ways in which you can rediscover yourself. You can start by asking yourself, what actually brings me alive? What do I believe? What would I pursue if nobody judged me? Then try new hobbies. Give yourself permission to change your mind and to evolve. Throughout the span of your life, you will see that you will discover and rediscover yourself on several different occasions. And hopefully each time is a better version of yourself. Just in case you aren't sure if you are becoming more of yourself or not, some signs that may show up are you stop explaining every decision, you compare yourself less, you bounce back more quickly from criticism, you become less interested in proving yourself. You feel peaceful saying no. You begin choosing alignment over approval. And that's always, I never want to make it seem like everything is just easy peasy. Like once you start doing something, you won't have any problems. Because that wouldn't be honest of me to say that. Because I know that it can be tough navigating your individuality in a world that seems to reward oneness or sameness, I would say. Especially with social media and getting caught up in your algorithms. I understand. It seems that so many people are dealing with comparison culture and the pressure to monetize every talent. But remember that just because something is popular doesn't mean that it has to be your path. The world doesn't need another copy of someone else, it needs more genuine people showing up as their authentic selves and who they were created to be. I'm your host, Tierra, and this is Rit Dots Podcast.