Ep. 10: Postpartum mental health & our mom group journey (with special guest Julia Ott, MS, LPC)

To commemorate our 10th episode, we sat down with Julia Ott, MS, LPC, facilitator of the Warrior Moms postpartum support group that sparked our friendship as well as the idea for this podcast. Julia is an EMDR trained therapist and perinatal mental health specialist, passionate about supporting the mental health of mothers and eliminating the stigma and silence of their struggles. We talked about our journeys around postpartum depression and anxiety, the importance of finding a support group in the early days of motherhood, what moms in 2026 are facing, and more. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:04

Welcome to Mom Group, the podcast for anxious moms, busy moms, and all the moms trying to hold it all together.

SPEAKER_02 0:10

We're your friends, Kate and Emily, two months who know what it feels like to juggle kids, schedules, and that never-ending mental load, all while trying not to lose ourselves in the process.

SPEAKER_03 0:20

We'll talk about the messy moments, the funny ones, and the things that keep us up at night. Because we all know motherhood isn't always a perfect.

SPEAKER_02 0:28

Whether you're listening in the carbo line, hiding in the pantry for a little peace and quiet, or just needing to hear from someone who gets it, you're in the right place.

SPEAKER_03 0:36

So grab your coffee or reheat it for the third time. And let's dive into Mom Group. Welcome back, everybody. This is episode 10 with Kate and Emily and Mom Group Pod. Thank you so much for joining us. Episode 10! I know. This one's exciting for us. Um, and we'll get into that in a little bit. But uh before we get started, Kate, like let's check in. How are you doing this week?

SPEAKER_02 1:03

I'm good. Um, I think, yeah, we were just chatting before we started recording about just it's May Semburing, right? I like to call it Mayhem. Oh, see what you did there. No, it's just been a really like busy time, a lot of fun things. Clayton made his first Holy Communion. It was Mother's Day, um, the activities and everything like that, just like the boys' sports and things, but um, yeah, just like so much at school, so much everywhere as we're kind of winding down and heading into summer. So it's been a bit chaotic, but again, all fun things, just kind of a lot going on. I think I'm in the same boat.

SPEAKER_03 1:39

It's like right, winding down the end of the school year for myself and my kids. Um, we also had Hazel's birthday, she just turned five. Um, my husband's birthday is this week, Noah's birthday is on Saturday. The birthday gone, right? Both of my in-laws' birthdays are coming up. Um, and then on top of it, like Noah has his ABC countdown to the end of the year. Do you guys do that? No. So it's like 26 days of like every day is a different letter. Yeah, interesting. Which is like again, so fun.

SPEAKER_01 2:10

A lot to manage. Um What do they have to do? Like bring something with that little bit.

SPEAKER_03 2:15

A lot of stuff doesn't even have to do with us. Like the first day for A was um oh my god, I'm not even gonna be able to remember. Oh, it was just like I know. It was art day. So I think they just did like extra art at school. So a lot of it, like I don't have to remember, but there are a couple of them in like spread out in there. But you know, again, it's all fun stuff. It's just like the end of everything, like wrapping everything up. And Mother's Day was great. How was your mother's day? It was really nice.

SPEAKER_02 2:44

Um yeah, my sister, um she has a baby now. He's just turned one in March, but so it's her second mother's day, but the first where he's like you know, fun and doing things and whatever. So we all went my mom and dad, Kevin's mom and dad, my sister's in-law, like everybody got together at a winery for like a picnic. So it was just very, very fun. And I'm happy everybody gets along and you know, all that stuff. Yeah, so it was it was a nice day.

SPEAKER_03 3:09

Yeah, yeah. We hosted at our house, um mostly because it is the kids' birth like everybody's birthday. So Saturday we did um like a birthday party, like a family party for the both kids, so we can sing to them and they could open presents from family and stuff. Um, and then we just had everybody back over to our house on Sunday for breakfast and it was good. Um, I mean, my only gripe with it is like anytime that there are these holidays where I feel like it's like so much pressure to like have the kids like be good, like, oh, the only thing I want for Mother's Day is for you to listen. Like they go the opposite direction. So I need to like let go of that, but that's a me thing, and that's not on them.

SPEAKER_02 3:53

I always say the only thing I want for Mother's Day is a nice picture. And this year, I think I got a selfie where they're both like making a crazy face and like climbing on me, but like it was sweet. But yeah, I'm always just like, can we please take one good picture?

SPEAKER_03 4:05

It was a fight to get one good picture for us as well. Um, I think there were bribes and maybe some some yelling, but what are you gonna do? Yeah, so let's get into episode 10. I'm so excited. Um, we have probably talked about this person. We're gonna have a special guest on tonight. Um, we've talked about her numerous times. She's the reason why Kate and I met each other. We are so excited to welcome her on our show and to talk to her tonight. Um, so we have her name is Julia Ott, um, and she's coming on. She was the leader of our mom support group that we did when our kids were younger. Um, Kate's gonna read you a little bit of her bio, which is super exciting, and I hope you guys love her as much as we do. Yes, we're super pumped for this episode. So let's get into it.

SPEAKER_02 4:57

All right, so without further ado, I'm gonna share a little bit um about Julia. So Julia Ott is an EMDR trained therapist and perinatal mental health specialist. She specializes in maternal wellness, birth trauma, infertility issues, and parents of neurodivergent children. She spent her early career working in individual, family, and group counseling, focused on a wide variety of mental health concerns, including substance abuse, anxiety, depression, grief, and trauma, and now brings her expertise and guidance to her work with pregnant and postpartum women, women braving infertility, and mom is managing the ups and downs of life with young children. Most importantly to us, she hosted the Warrior Mom's Postpartum Support Group. And Emily and I have her to thank for helping us navigate some very difficult days and also inadvertently connecting us with one another and other lifelong friends. Um, so again, we're so happy that you're here and um looking forward to a good conversation. Julia, is there anything else you would like to add that I didn't hit on in your bio?

SPEAKER_04 5:57

I think you got it all in there.

SPEAKER_02 5:59

It was very thorough. Um so yeah, we're super excited. Um, Emily, do you want to start us off? Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_03 6:09

So, Julia, uh, I guess just catch us up because it's been a while. Like, what does your life look like now? Um, how is your son doing? And yeah, give us a little update.

SPEAKER_04 6:23

Well, life doesn't look too different. I'm still doing my you know therapy. I work basically, you know, like split days in the morning and at night throughout the course of the week. Um, you know, just a full day of momming and working, right? Yeah. And uh Jude is my my son, as you guys know, and you saw him when he was real little.

SPEAKER_02 6:47

But uh yeah, he's now in middle school, which is really hard to believe. But I feel like I remember his fifth birthday. I I think I have that right. I remember when he turned five, which is pretty wild.

SPEAKER_04 6:58

Yeah, it is wild. But he's doing awesome. Yeah, we're doing really good. It's I got no complaints.

SPEAKER_02 7:05

That's great. Glad to hear that. Um what I guess we'll we'll start with um about Warrior Mom's support group, um, because that's the part that we, you know, how we met you and um the part that we know the best about you. What prompted you to to sort of get involved with that or create that? Um, or you know, how did that come to be?

SPEAKER_04 7:31

Well, I decided to go into maternal mental health after having my own child. Um and I was openly open and I shared with the group um about my postpartum experiences with postpartum OCD. And so it was a population that I was really excited to work with. And because I had the history in groups, um, when I got hired at Mindful Soul, they wanted me to run the postpartum group, which I was excited to do. So it was something I was hired to do. Um and so it was uh got it. You know, something I tried to, you know, get off the ground um just like as soon as I started working there.

SPEAKER_02 8:13

That's awesome. I think yeah, it was interesting because we started going, I guess it was 2019, because Noah was 18 months or so, I guess.

SPEAKER_03 8:23

Yeah, Noah was about 18 months when I started going. So it was 2019 when it yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:29

I think was that around when it we were pretty like were we like kind of the OGs, OGs to this group.

SPEAKER_04 8:36

You were, you were. You know, I would have like a couple people here and there, kind of stragglers that would come. Um, but it really wasn't until you guys started regularly that the group started to grow.

SPEAKER_02 8:49

So that's awesome.

SPEAKER_04 8:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:51

Um and I think um what was I gonna say? Oh, well, the interesting part for me looking back is that then COVID happened and we loved it so much and we loved each other that we were like, we don't want to stop doing this. Like, what's gonna happen? But it went virtual. And I feel like at that time it was hard to like, I don't know, make something last through, especially because we didn't know how long COVID was gonna go on for, but we were able to keep the virtual group going for quite some time and then it went back in person, I guess. Um what are your what are your memories of that time and it just like transitioning to virtual and back in person?

SPEAKER_04 9:24

Um yeah, I mean, honestly, I think that is one of my you know favorite things about the group, right? That it nothing stopped it, that we were able to really kind of go through that pandemic together, which was one of the most difficult times that moms had been through, right? So the fact that we were able to keep that group going and that all of the moms were able to support each other through that time was I think really special.

SPEAKER_03 9:51

Yeah. Um, so what do you think your favorite part about the group was that um, you know, in those years that we did it, like what is one of your biggest takeaways?

SPEAKER_04 10:03

Um, I think the biggest thing for me was the way that the women showed up for one another. Right. I think that it was really special for me and it really impressed on me the importance of mom support, right? Is women um supporting other women. Um and I was um just really excited to see the growth of the group and all of the women that were able to just show up consistently and you guys really just outreach so much, and it you know, we brought people in that you know, by the end of I think we had like 15 people at one point, um that room got very full. We built up the big gym over at the village where we first started, so yes. It was exciting. Um, I think that was something I was really proud of.

SPEAKER_03 10:54

Yeah, it was awesome. We really did come together for each other. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:59

And like I said, the yeah, friendships. We we still speak to most of the, you know, there's a core of us that get together a lot, but then I still, you know, via social media connect with a lot of those ladies. It's been very special. I haven't really found anything else like that in life where you like meet in a certain place and then like continue a friendship onward. Very special.

SPEAKER_03 11:17

And I feel like if anyone reached out like and needed support, like we would all jump and like be there for them, which is just like the coolest thing that we got out of all of this.

SPEAKER_04 11:27

Yeah, and that was another thing that I was thinking is that like the group discussions were so vulnerable, right? And that everybody was able to be almost just raw with what was going on. There was nothing that was being shared that was like not allowed to be shared, like nothing was taboo.

SPEAKER_02 11:46

Yeah, I think I or anything like that. It was like anything was welcome.

SPEAKER_04 11:51

And so um, you know, it was also really fun. So I feel like we were really able to capture a a really good combination of making it meaningful, but also having a good time.

SPEAKER_02 12:05

Definitely. You kind of never knew what direction it would go in. Like I think you definitely had like some things prepared sometimes, but sometimes it would just start with like somebody going through something, and then I don't know, certain nights I remember it would be like we'd be crying, or like other nights it would be silly, like you just never kind of knew, and that's what I think made it very special.

SPEAKER_04 12:24

Yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_02 12:26

Um is is it still ongoing, or has it changed um, you know, the the look of the group, or is it still happening?

SPEAKER_04 12:36

Unfortunately, it isn't. Um my time ended with you guys. We ended the group together, and then um another therapist took over the group and she was running it for a little bit, but then it kind of fizzled out. I think I honestly think our group was pretty special. I it's very hard to get a group off the ground, right? And a lot of times, especially with moms, everyone is so busy, it's hard to coordinate schedules. So the fact that we were able to be so successful for so long is actually not typical. Um, and I would love for it to be more typical because such an It is hard to know like how to I don't know, cultivate that.

SPEAKER_02 13:15

Like I remember the one I did one at the hospital where it was definitely like it had a similar vibe of like everyone kept coming back and we would stay in touch, like beyond, but it was very much like newborn focused. And I think those struggles were very real, but it was like I was just glad to find something for like when my kids were bigger and I don't know, the problems got different. I feel like there's less literature or like advice out there for like kind of like those two plus years versus like a new baby, like you can kind of find a lot of um advice on feeding or you know that kind of sleeping. But this was I just felt like it was interesting that it was like a little bit older kids, people with a little bit older kids.

SPEAKER_03 13:54

Well, that's because we stayed and didn't leave.

SPEAKER_02 13:57

Maybe it was supposed to be that, and she's like, I can't get you guys to leave.

SPEAKER_03 13:59

She was like, You guys won't leave, so I guess it's about older kids now.

SPEAKER_04 14:03

Yes. I need to have multiple babies, right?

SPEAKER_03 14:06

Well, yes, and then right, we did go through this, and like most of us ended up having a baby while we were d doing this group and being able to like welcome these new kids into the group, which is also really cool.

SPEAKER_04 14:18

Yeah, yeah, it was fun for me to be able to watch you guys having yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:23

Where we talked about it at group about like, are we gonna have a second baby? We don't know if we want to have a second baby, and that was always like a vulnerable topic for everyone during the group, and then for most of us to then go on and have a second baby, and then like, yeah, like all of these things that we talked about kind of just like coming to life. It was definitely a really cool thing.

SPEAKER_02 14:42

I remember, Emily, I feel like the night that you were talking about. Well, you know, I did picture us as a family of four, but now it's really hard and we're not sure. And you like came to the conclusion like in real time that night that you were gonna have a second baby. Like, I remember that pretty vividly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:59

I'm still not sure that I want to be a family, but here we are. Too late now.

SPEAKER_04 15:06

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 15:07

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_04 15:09

It was a nice transition, and I think the first person that started that was encouraging for the rest of the rest of you.

SPEAKER_02 15:17

For sure.

SPEAKER_04 15:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:19

If you are comfortable sharing a little more about your your postpartum, Julia, you don't have to, or you can share as much as you're comfortable. But what you mentioned that's kind of what drove you or led you into this path. Um, what was that like for you?

SPEAKER_04 15:33

I think it was really interesting because I had been in the field for quite some time. I was doing all different kinds of populations and I was doing private practice at the time. Um, but doing therapy before your mom is just a very different experience, right? So when I had my child, you would think that being a therapist, I would know what to expect.

SPEAKER_02 15:53

You probably would have heard so much of it, but yeah, it's not it's not the same, I guess.

SPEAKER_04 15:57

I don't know what to expect. And I actually remember going to a woman that I worked with at my previous um practice and telling her about these vivid um images that I would get of like bad things happening to my my baby, and she was like, Oh, that's this. And I was just like, Oh wow, I've never heard of that before. But I remember being so relieved that it was a real thing, and I think that experience of like being so relieved that this is a normal thing was what I really wanted to convey to other women. Like these things happen, and you're not the only one they happen to, and even somebody who is, you know, trained in this in this therapy thing doesn't even know what to expect.

SPEAKER_02 16:46

Yeah, that's really validating, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_04 16:49

Um I mean, it was really scary. You you know, you you just think about like depression or anxiety a lot of the times, and that's what we really learn about the most. Um but the the scarier thoughts are the stuff we don't talk about the most.

unknown 17:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:04

That is really what I look back on and think about with just, you know, therapy and group and everything is like feeling so relieved that it's yeah, not you're not the only one having those thoughts, or like hearing just other people going through things that you're going through, or even something different, and just knowing that we're all kind of in it together. And um, because when my first son was little, with like being up all night feeding, I remember like the first few days thinking, um, it feels like you're the only one awake. Like I remember that feeling of being like lonely, and I was like, everyone else in the whole world is sleeping, but then just like hearing like slowly, little by little, and making new friends that I could like text when I was up, knowing that they were also up, one of you being you. Just um, that's the best part, I think, when I look back on like finding that community is just like whether or not it's the exact same problem. It's like we all have things, and you're not alone and you're not lonely, and everything has been Googled before, every thought has already been thought, you know, you're not like the first to do any of this, which is a very good feeling when you're a new mom. Definitely. So you mentioned you know, balancing mom and work and all of that stuff. Um, what does like a typical day look like? You have patience, patience all day, and then what time what time are you typically you know ending and going home?

SPEAKER_04 18:20

So I mean, I get up at like 7:15 on a good day, 7:30 on a bad day. You've got about a half an hour to get to school because I do everything last minute. So I'm basically getting up and getting my son to work. I'm getting my son to school, and then I come home. I have about it, like I like my coffee time, about an hour to just sit and relax because I need that time in the morning. Um, and then I start my clients around nine. And I usually go around nine to two most mornings. And then when my son comes home from school, we do the homework and the dinner and all that stuff. And then sometimes I'll start back up at like six. Okay, like six to nine. I'm in the office two days a week. I do a night, the Monday night that I used always used to do, and then Wednesday during the day. Um, so I guess it's like probably about four, four and a half days a week, four to four and a half days a week. Nice.

SPEAKER_03 19:16

It's good to have that flexible schedule. That's what Kate. Yeah, Kate and I have talked about that before, just like needing that as a mom. Like that has to be so nice to be able to be f a little bit more flexible and have that fluid schedule because for like normal nine to fives, and then like also being a parent makes it so difficult to like get to doctor's appointments or dentist appointments or sporting events, like yeah, so I'm envious of your I bet.

SPEAKER_02 19:43

I I always that's so I can't imagine. I know.

SPEAKER_04 19:47

Like Wednesday mornings is the one morning I have to be in the office, and so I have to get ready, drop him off at school, and then go right in. And I'm a disaster every single Wednesday, and I always I always say, like, how do moms do this every single day?

SPEAKER_02 20:02

Yeah, it's exhausting. I really can't imagine it. No, I walk my older son around to his school. It's like, I mean, it's like a two-minute walk. It's awesome. But I like can't I don't put regular clothes on for that. Like, I'm not wearing a bra. Like, I'm always like, Hope I don't see anyone. Like, I won't have to talk to anyone up close. Like, I'm just throwing my sweats on. Like, I can't imagine having to be up and out.

SPEAKER_03 20:24

I don't even get the opportunity to take my kids to school because I'm gonna be there. I have to be at work like well before they even have to be at school. So luckily Zach is able to do that for me. But um, yeah, I mean it's hard to like get up and get out the door. Like we're like a tight run ship in the morning because if we weren't, it would be a hot mess.

SPEAKER_04 20:49

Um, my son even rides his bike now. I can't even say I drop him anymore.

SPEAKER_03 20:53

That's awesome you just like make sure he leaves, he's exits the premises.

SPEAKER_04 20:58

Yeah, that's the benefit of them getting older. They all of a sudden do things on their own, like just ride their bike off to the sunset.

SPEAKER_03 21:04

So that's amazing. Yeah, I look forward to it. It's like I don't want to wish these younger years away, but also like a little bit of the independence, um which is like something that we've talked about a lot at group, right? Like I remember so vividly you always saying, like, it's okay to not like something that sucks, right? And like we used to say that all the time at group, and um like I still feel that way all the time because Hazel, even though she's mostly potty trained, like again today pooped in her pants and like I I hate this. Yeah. And it's like it's okay to not like things that suck.

SPEAKER_02 21:44

I think of that once a week at least. And if there's one thing like when I look back, like that is like the crystallizing moment or thing you said, um, that has really stuck with me. It's just like and you know, we all can talk about social media comparison and all these things. I think it's so true, but like What you see on social media is not real and like motherhood is hard and like dirty and messy and all these things and like you do not have to pretend that it's perfect and um that is like what I think back on from group is just like it sucks and it's okay to like say that and not like it when it's hard. Yeah so yeah thank you for that line because I literally come back to that all the time.

SPEAKER_04 22:24

I mean it means a lot to me, right? Every every mom is filled with all of these, I don't even know, stories, right, about motherhood, right? And the expectations that they have in their minds of what it's supposed to be like and what they're supposed to act like and how they're supposed to feel. It's just all yes, it's just a story when it comes down to it, right? So I never really understood the the concept of being a mother as being somehow different from being a human. That was the one thing that I thought was just so important.

SPEAKER_02 22:57

It starts from like the first day, too, because you think like everyone says, you know, you're gonna be changed and it's gonna be love at first sight, and like for so many people up. Yeah, like that moment they put them on your chest, like you're gonna be, and I just like then you think something's wrong with you if you're like, oh my god, like I'm tired and everything hurts, and like this baby's gross. Like I did not have that moment. You think something's wrong with you? It starts from like the first minute they come out, like comparing to what you've heard you're supposed to think or feel. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:25

I feel like I was just recently triggered too, um, over Mother's Day. Like my kids were just, you know, the excitement of the holiday and like people being around, like we had family in town and all this stuff, and this like pressure for them to like behave the right way, and they just like went the total opposite and were just like nuts, and like they're just kids, but like then I have all these people like posting on social media and stuff, like we say, and that's always fake, but like I mean, and sometimes it's not, I don't want to like judge everyone, but um you know, all these people like I love being a mom, so grateful, so thankful. And I was like, I literally cannot post those words today about Mother's Day because I was so like over them and like they were just being kids, we ended up having a good day. But I was like, I've already yelled at you three times, and you know, like you're jumping off the couch, you're doing this. I was like, I can't post on social media and tell everyone how honored I am to be doing this, you know. I so I think I did post a picture of just the three, like me and the kids, with just like a heart emoji. This day happened, this day happened, and then like I went to work and it was so funny because my coworker was talking about the same thing and her kids were going wild, and Mother's Day was crazy, and next year she just wants a hotel room to herself and blah blah blah. And and then she's like talking about her social media post, and it was the same thing, like posted this whole long like quote about how amazing it is, and I was like, Well, why did you why do you say that when that's not yeah how it felt?

SPEAKER_01 25:04

But yeah, that's a weird one. That's just my rant. No, it's it's so true.

SPEAKER_02 25:09

Yeah, it's valid. Yeah. Um something that I thought of um in thinking ahead for this show, Julia, is just it's been a bit since we um attended Warrior Mom's group and then since I did therapy with you. Is there anything that you're noticing in I want to say it's been like five years since that time that you're noticing with like younger moms or like moms in 2026? That's I don't know if it's like just more social media, more information, like whatever it might be. Is there anything you're noticing just like more like as a trend nowadays with the women you're speaking with?

SPEAKER_04 25:50

Yeah, I think that's a lot of what my my newer workshop is about. Like the trend of cycle breaking is really big right now, right? There's a lot of um moms that are just trying to do it differently, right? And they're um they're trying to do this certain type of a parenting, and they're looking it up and they're watching the videos and the podcasts, and um, we're talking so much more about mental health and and all of these things that we didn't know about previously, that I think like the pendulum swung pretty hard in one direction, where we started kind of going from trying to parent differently to trying to parent like perfectly and you know, to do everything the right way and to never make a mistake. And that that's definitely a trend that I've seen because it's like this big focus on cycle breaking and trauma. And yeah, we're we want to cycle break, right? But we don't want to beat ourselves up in the process of breaking those cycles because that's not really breaking cycles, then, right?

SPEAKER_02 26:57

It's just a new a new issue, a new problem. That's so interesting. It's like I think there's been talk about like gentle parenting, but then like a new conversation about like maybe we misinterpreted what that was like supposed to be, or like we went too, like you said, we went too hard into it, and now we're worrying that we're not doing it right. And so I feel like that, yeah, that's a complicated one.

SPEAKER_04 27:20

Right. And I've always said any mom that is concerned about whether they're a good mom is a good mom. That's there's your evidence. The fact that you're looking things up, the fact that you're worried about it, the fact that you're trying so hard, um, you're already like light, light years ahead of where we were before. So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:39

I think for any mom out there that's listening though, like it's okay to be a combination of like all of these things, right? Like every idea and every like type of parenting, I think is all supposed to be like borrowed from and like take little bits of here that work for you and work for your kids.

SPEAKER_04 28:01

So yeah, whatever works is the right answer.

SPEAKER_03 28:05

A hundred percent. Right. And I feel like I used to like before I had kids, like I would judge people, um, you know, on like co-sleeping or like uh a million things, but like now, like you do you. Like if your baby's gonna sleep, do it. As long as it's safe and you guys are okay, then like you you do you. I would never judge another mom about anything anymore.

SPEAKER_02 28:32

I was very like, we're not gonna watch screens and they're gonna eat really healthy. My kids are gonna be good eaters, and it's like we are now like they're very picky and they do watch screens. Like, what do they say? Like the best mom is the mom without kids because they you don't know 100% coming for you. Yes, that's so true.

SPEAKER_03 28:50

Uh Julia, is there anything that you learned from our group as the person who like ran it? Where, like, you know, I think most of us were supposed to take stuff away from it, but is there anything that you learned from us?

SPEAKER_04 29:02

Doing the group, I was only a couple years ahead of you guys.

SPEAKER_01 29:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 29:06

So I wasn't too far ahead, right? And so you know, I have never gotten that group, right? I was never in that group, I never had that uh support. And so a lot of the times when you guys were sharing your stories, and it I felt like it was healing for me as well. I learned a lot from just listening to you guys, right? And really just, you know, the the sheer magnitude of what that vulnerability did and the way that it touched so many people was yeah, I just learned a lot from being an observer, but also, you know, sharing some of my story as well, and in the hopes that my story was helpful. Um, but you guys and your stories were also really helpful for me too.

SPEAKER_02 29:51

I love that. Yeah. Yeah, I know there's probably, you know, thing you're not supposed to like give your whole life story as the therapist, and I'm sure therapists have different like schools of thought on it. But I did appreciate when you shared, you know, let letting us get to know your story and you as well. It was very helpful.

SPEAKER_04 30:08

Just humans.

SPEAKER_02 30:09

Yep. Um and then I guess similarly, um, the fact that so many of us still talk, still friends, still connected. Um, I mean, it is a testament to you for sure and to the group. But how how does that uh make you feel?

SPEAKER_04 30:25

I love it. I love it a lot. I mean, the point of the group was to have that support go out into the community, right? So the fact that you guys were able to build those relationships and that those relationships are still lasting is just amazing to me. It's like the goal of the whole group, right? For you guys to, and not only that, but now you guys are here doing this and you've taken all of those experiences and you're paying it forward, which yeah, I mean, I couldn't have asked for anything better than that. It's really exciting to see.

SPEAKER_02 30:57

Gives me chills.

SPEAKER_03 31:00

And this is something that Kate and I talked about for like ever. We had just always joked like, let's do a podcast, let's talk about this, let's talk about that. And then, like, when we finally started doing it, it was like, what better way than to talk about right all of our experiences, share that, and hopefully build that village for like other people. Hopefully, there are people listening and you know, they're having those same thoughts and just knowing that maybe we could help them in the same way that we were helped by you and our group and just having that safe space.

SPEAKER_02 31:29

And we noodled on the name for so long. We had the idea, I think we sh we filmed, taped, whatever, recorded two or three episodes before we settled on a name, but we came we kept coming back to mom group because it was like, what else should it be called? Like this was like where it was born from and um how we met each other and well and in every episode I think we said and in our mom group. In our mom group, yes. So this is very much like I mean, I view this as like a tribute and just like a collection of things that we brought with us from group. So it's been fun for sure.

SPEAKER_03 32:01

And we're so happy you're here. What were some things that you liked to share with moms in the group and maybe carry that on to into some of the moms that are listening to this show? Like, what is something that you would want them to know that maybe we touched on in group, and now they can get a little taste of that in the real life or listening.

SPEAKER_04 32:22

For the, you know, for the women that were in the group, kind of just what I had said before, just how proud I am of you guys and um how rewarding it was for me to be able to watch you guys grow and the go on your journeys together. Um and the fact that you're doing what you're doing, um just it's just amazing to me. And even some of the other moms that I know are doing all these other things too. It's just yeah, I I love being able to see that journey from start to finish. Um, for moms listening, I mean, the most important thing I've ever spoken about is compassion, right? I think that's like my number one thing. Um, you know, and I talked about like the moms nowadays that are just trying to be the best moms that they possibly can be. And, you know, it's it's just stop being so hard on yourself, right? The best thing that you can do for your child is to love yourself, right? And to be kind to yourself and to be a model of that to your children. Um, you're just doing a good job. And I think just knowing that your best is good enough is where to start, right? There are gonna be hard days, are gonna be hard, moments are gonna be hard years. But you know, every single time you go through it, you learn and you grow. And you know, mothering doesn't necessarily get easier, it just gets different, right? So it's this long journey that we're on, um, trying to do it the best that we can. But like going back to what I said before, the more that you beat yourself up about it and the more critical you are, and the less compassion that you have, the you know, the worse that you feel and the more untrue it really is, right? Because if you were really doing a bad job, you would not be concerned about it.

SPEAKER_02 34:09

That is so true.

SPEAKER_03 34:10

Yeah, that's awesome. And I know people can take something away from this episode as well.

SPEAKER_02 34:17

Um something you said just made me think that as they as your child gets older, it gets different, I guess, is what you what you said. What is it like having a middle schooler? What do we have to uh look forward to or be afraid of?

SPEAKER_04 34:32

Oh man. Um, I mean, I think the letting go thing has been really tough for me. Um, obviously with with my son, it's a little bit different because he's a little, you know, a little less mature than some of the other kids. Um and so I've gotten to hold on to him a little bit longer, I think, than some others. But letting him go out into the world without me has been the really hardest part, right? Like just trusting that he's gonna be okay. Um, I just remember the first time I like dropped him off at a party and like just like you know, going to school on his own and um dealing with the social stuff. The social stuff gets a lot more difficult, right? And it gets a lot more complicated. And you're dealing with things that are just a lot deeper and that you have to explain and you have to just hope that they're learning, and like the biggest thing I have to do is trust that I've instilled the values in him that he's going to now take with him, right? So that yeah, I'm always gonna worry, but I trust that he's he's a good person, right? And he can make good choices.

SPEAKER_01 35:42

Totally. Yeah, I'm not ready for all the social stuff. You know, I feel like it's nowadays.

SPEAKER_03 35:50

I feel like it's already starting like now with like, you know, yeah, the social, like, right, friends inviting friends to birthday parties and who's not invited and who doesn't want to hang out to. Like, yeah, but like even with my son, I'm like, oh god, I'm not ready for all of this craziness.

SPEAKER_02 36:09

Even just like when I'm we I volunteer once a week at like his little running club at recess, and then we did like the fun fair um yesterday at the school, and even just like watching him interact, it's like I'm so like, are they talking to him? Like, is he being annoying? Like, I don't say anything, I'm standing back, but it's like so hard not to just worry, like, yeah, I know he's a good person, but like is everyone being nice, like just all these things, it's so hard.

SPEAKER_04 36:34

And it is yeah, that's definitely the hardest part, just like letting them kind of go do it on their own.

SPEAKER_01 36:41

Yeah, and trust that you've done done your part so far, and yeah. Ugh.

SPEAKER_03 36:47

And also just knowing that like they're gonna make mistakes and they're gonna find out things the hard way, and like we can't always protect them. Like sometimes they just have to find out the things the hard way, you know, they have to, you know, get shut down or that kind of thing. Learn the lessons. I know, and it's like you just want to protect their little hearts, and yeah, but like we're not gonna be able to forever.

SPEAKER_04 37:10

And also they do better than you'd think they would, you know what I mean? It's part of development. They every time they learn the hard way, they grow, right? And so they learn to trust themselves, they learn to have you know, the belief in themselves, they learn to accomplish things, they learn all these things like that. They sometimes just have to go through it to get there.

SPEAKER_02 37:29

Yeah. Um takeaway. One final question. What do you do um to take care of yourself or um to like to fill your your cup?

SPEAKER_04 37:42

Well, I am lucky with my schedule that I try to plan time into my schedule to just be. I know I've always said my definition of self-care is literally just being in a moment and figuring out what myself needs, right? Um, not having to take care of another person in that time frame. Um, but I love to, you know, I I do art, I um I hike, uh, I do a lot of things with friends. Um not really into the I oh I I started doing my nails.

SPEAKER_02 38:13

Oh, that's fun. And a money saver, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_04 38:17

I've got a whole gel nail kit I do. I'm in my I'm in my dopamine phase where I'm like buying things that make me happy. So I buy like little mugs that I like and earrings with cat on them.

SPEAKER_01 38:32

I love it. I love this for you.

SPEAKER_04 38:35

Like I got all these little cats on my candle.

SPEAKER_03 38:39

Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh, it's so cute. That's amazing.

SPEAKER_04 38:43

It makes me happy, so yeah. You gotta do it. I love that.

SPEAKER_03 38:46

That's honestly the thing, though, right? Like at this point in life, if it does not bring me joy, I don't want it anymore. Like, totally, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:55

There's not a few time in the day for anything else.

SPEAKER_04 38:59

I'll tell you something from a woman that is closer to 50 than 40 at this point. When you get into your 40s, a lot of things change, and the freedom that comes with it is really incredible. Um, you just stop caring as much, right? And you kind of just do what you want to do and just care less, and it's really fun.

SPEAKER_02 39:19

So yes, I'm I'm approaching 40. I'm I'm coming up. I'm in we weeks away now, so I feel like I'm already sort of starting to notice that a bit, just like caring a bit less about things that I definitely used to care a lot about, and I'm excited for the decade. Everyone says it's a good decade, so bring it.

SPEAKER_04 39:39

I mean, you have paramenopause, but yeah, there's that.

SPEAKER_01 39:43

I I think I'm in it. I know sometimes I'm like googling, like, is this paramenopause? I think I'm there. Could be, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 39:51

Well, the good news is that there's so much research being done now that whereas like a couple years ago it was probably impossible to get HRT. Now there are these things, there's a lot of studies coming out, so that women are now being prescribed with what they need, which is really great for your guys' generation. Sure.

SPEAKER_02 40:09

I feel like I didn't even hear that term frequently, and now maybe it's like, you know, where I'm looking or what my algorithm is showing me as I'm approaching 40. But like I do think that's just kind of like a new thing that we're all figuring out, which is great, of course. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:23

Because we're gonna need it. We are gonna need it.

SPEAKER_03 40:26

Oh boy. Oh, well, thank you so much for joining us. And this is awesome. Is there anything that you want to add that maybe we didn't ask you and you just want to share?

SPEAKER_04 40:38

I think we covered it all. I'm just really proud of you ladies. I mean, this is so fun for me. I miss you guys all so much, and I love seeing your little updates and what you're doing. And I just hope you know you go on to keep doing this and inspiring women.

SPEAKER_02 40:54

Yeah, it's been really, really awesome. And we yeah, we have you to plan for sure.

SPEAKER_03 40:58

Thank you for everything. Thank you so much, and thanks for coming on. And hopefully, we get to talk again soon. We'll have you back on. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 41:06

Love to come back.

SPEAKER_02 41:07

We needed you to be our number 10 episode guest. It was like feels like a big one. We made it to 10, and it has to be Julie. Honor. Well, thank you.

SPEAKER_03 41:17

Thank you. That was amazing having her on. I was so happy to see her face. Um, I know not everybody else will, but you know, we could see her on camera and um just get to chat. It felt like old times, and um, I was just so happy that we got to do this. So um I hope she knows that we were, you know, so grateful, and I think she does.

SPEAKER_02 41:43

Yes, and I think um this is just a plug for anybody listening who feels like they need extra support or a community and it hasn't been easy to find one, is really look on Facebook, look on Google, wherever. There are groups out there, and I can't express enough how life-changing it was to just find a community of moms to meet with once a week. Um it was started out in person, became virtual, went back to in person. But I th you know, in e in both scenarios, it it was so helpful just to feel again like you're not alone in in your things that you're thinking and the problems that you're dealing with, and um it's just so so helpful. So seek out a group in your area or online um if you feel like you need that support.

SPEAKER_03 42:27

Or just find a therapist like Julia who specializes in maternal mental health and all of those struggles because um if there isn't a group that you can find, like there is support out there and there are people that can help you and um yeah, it's that's so true.

SPEAKER_02 42:46

But using every therapist doesn't have sorry to cut you off. No, using every therapist doesn't have that exact training. And I think that might that's probably something I didn't even realize when we first started group, and I I was seeing Julia as a therapist kind of concurrently, and then after group too. Um, just that sh there's a specialty that's a whole like sub-field. Um people just trained in postpartum support and all that kind of stuff. So you can be a little picky too and interview and find the right person for you and for what you're going through.

SPEAKER_03 43:17

Yeah. But I can't believe it. That's the end of episode 10. Yes. Thanks for everybody that's made it, made it this far. And I feel like we should update anyone who's listening and been listening. Um, Kate and I did decide that we are going to take a break for the summer.

SPEAKER_01 43:35

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 43:36

Um, just because we have a lot going on, vacations and camps and full time, full time, and all the things. So um I don't know, do we have maybe two more episodes coming out? Um, two or three. We'll see where the wind takes us. Um, but so look forward to some more content coming out, a little brief break. For the summer, and um we'll start back up again in September.

SPEAKER_01 44:04

So yeah, season two. Season two. We made it. Yeah. But um for this night, we're out. We're out. Thank you all for listening. Talk soon.