Midlife Choices

Ever feel that sudden pull to make a big move just to prove you’ve still got it? We’ve been there. Today, we get honest about midlife urges, the kind that show up as a shiny truck on the lot or a tattoo design that feels brave in the moment and complicated forever. We dig into how to tell the difference between a meaningful change and an impulse driven by confidence, and why a quick call to a trusted friend can save your back, your bank account, and your pride.

We start with the funny-but-true stories: the bungee jump fantasy that met a 40-plus spine, and the dealership test-drive ritual designed to make a car feel like it’s already yours. Then we slow down the psychology behind it all. You’ll hear about commitment bias, the endowment effect, and the tricks that nudge us from window-shopping to signing on the dotted line. From there, we shift to permanent choices, like tattoos. Style is personal, but placement, skin tone, visibility at work, and partner buy-in matter. We talk through a real intervention: a friend aiming for a lower-back floral piece with his spouse’s name, and how a calm conversation redirected that energy into a smarter, still-meaningful plan.

By the end, you’ll have a simple midlife decision toolkit: name the feeling under the urge, define the result you actually want, explore three routes to get there, set a cooling-off period, and phone a friend who will tell you the truth. You don’t have to dampen your spark to make better choices; you just need better guardrails. If you’re standing at the crossroads between bold and reckless, this one will help you pick the road you’ll still love next year.

If this resonated, tap follow, share it with a friend who’s eyeing a big leap, and drop a comment with the wild idea you talked yourself out of or into. Your story might be the nudge someone else needs.

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Transcript

Sanity Checks Before Big Moves

The Bungee Jump Reality Check

Naming Midlife Crisis Decisions

The Truck That Called My Name

Dealer Tactics And Self-Awareness

Being A Sounding Board For Friends

Tattoos, Skin Tone, And Visibility

The Tramp Stamp Intervention

Get Partner Buy-In Before Ink

Normalize Midlife Crisis And Reach Out

Closing Thanks And Community Call

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Welcome back to another episode of Unstripped After for You the podcast. Now, today's topic where we're going to talk about is kind of important. And I want to make sure that people understand that in the end, you always have someone to talk to. Okay. So before you do or make a decision that you know that's going to be is a life-changing decision, um, especially at an older age in life, that you kind of think that now that you're older, you understand and know everything, run that decision by some of your friends, you know, and make sure that it is something logical that you're not making a decision off of emotions or misguided information, or, you know, you just at the time, you know, had this bright idea and like, bam, want to do it. Because I I tell people, like, you know, I remember one time I made this decision, I wanted to go bungee jumping. Yeah, I say that bungee jumping. And when I would think about it, I like, shh, I don't even like jumping out of planes like that. So why do I want to jump off a bridge with a rubber band holding my life in his hand? Yeah, that wasn't a good idea. And luckily, I talked to some friends and they say, hey, look here, cat, you you need your 20s no more. That rubber band, first of all, your back can't handle it. So I only know what you're thinking about when you want to go bungee jumping. Like, first of all, you gotta think about your back and your neck. So um, if the rubber band don't snap and make you smack, what about the your neck and your back? You you might even walk after that. And I thought about that, you know. My back is, it does hurt now that I'm over 40 a little bit. Like when I was in the 20s, you know, get hurt and like snap back, like we talked about earlier in the up other episodes. But I'm talking about now, you think about it. So we're gonna talk about midlife crisis decisions, okay? And when you get over 40, sometimes you have those midlife crisis decisions. Men and women. Like I say, uh none of us is uh uh what you call a zip from this midlife decision thing, and some of us have it early in life. So um some of the things that we do with midlife situations, you know, for myself, um, I bought a truck. Um, so I went out there and bought me a brand new truck because that that was my midlife decision. Now I wanted a new truck. I had the money, and I like, you know what, I'm gonna get me a truck. I did I need a truck? No, no, I I did not need the truck. Um I I got vehicles in my yard now that I'm not driving on a daily basis, you know, but um this truck was it it called out to me. It called my name. That's what it was. You know how it is, you know, when you ride past a dealership and you know, you can hear it saying, Do you see me? Do you see me? See me? Oh now I looked, I'm like, oh, I I see it. Because it was calling my name. That's what it was. And then as I whipped around, got in the parking lot, you know, the the one I wanted, the one I I have now in my possession, it it's it's like a big light went across it, and it was an aura, and it called my name. So that's my story. I'm sticking to it, even if it didn't happen. But that was my mid-like crisis. But like I said earlier, talk to somebody. That was my first mistake. I ain't talking about it. I just went to the dealership by myself. That was the first mistake. And then I let as this man, you know, let me sit in the car. You know, once you sit in the car and and drive it, and you already want it anyway, it's a different story. It's like he let me take it home. That that the car dealerships know what they're doing. They, you know, when they sell you a car and let you take it home, they know damn well you're gonna come out the next day and purchase that car. They they know it. They already got the paperwork ready for you. What he did to me. I shouldn't know what was set up when I got in there. When he let me drive it home and then I came back and they didn't even have my car up front for me to, you know, switch out. They just had that, they say, Yeah, so how you like it? I said, I actually do like it. He said, you know what? Here's the papers. You can go ahead and sign on the dot, and we can get you out of that, get you in this car and take it home for good today. I like that bastard. Yeah, I signed him, I signed the papers and took the car home. Yeah, I'm blaming him, but it's it's half my fault too. I should have never gone back in the parking lot, but it called my name. Like I said, that was my midlife crisis. But uh a couple weeks ago, you know, I had one of my buddies call me, and I'm glad he called me, you know, because first of all, I'm glad he thought of me to be a trusted sounding board to help him through his midlife crisis. Um, and again that I was honored for that. And second of all, I'm glad he called me because I I'm I helped him through a situation that I'm glad I didn't let him do. So I'm a fan of tattoos, okay? I I love tattoos, okay? So I got a sleeve on my left arm, I got my um birthmark on this arm right here. I I even um like tattoos so much that I thought about getting tattoos other part of my body, but unfortunately, I'm dark. And I know people keep saying that, you know, dark-skinned people can get tattoos, but you know, tattoos on dark-skinned people in my spirits don't show up that well unless you get colors. And then even the colors it fade after a while. I remember one time I was out in the um the motor pool working with my soldiers, and I was working with my left hand, come left-handed, and the soldier asked me, they were saying, Hey, Chief, your um veins are funny. And I like, what are you talking about, right? And then I looked down to that cat, I say, Fuck you, that's my goddamn tattoo. He thought that my tattoo marks or my dragon claws was my veins. So that I like, you know what? That he hurt my feelings, but he was a little right. It did blend in nice. So the downfall about being dark skin, you know. Now I don't know about downfall, cause I'm hot, but anyway, let me rambling, let me get back on the story. Like I said, my friend called me, and I'm glad that he called me to help him through his issue, okay? So he wanted to get a new tattoo. And like I said, I'm family tattoos. So I said, you know what? What kind of tattoo you want to get? Let's talk about it, you know? And he started talking about tattoos he wanna get. And as he was talking, I was kind of like confused. Because, you know, most times people like the tattoos he was talking about getting weren't the normal tattoos that most people would get on their arm or leg, or even a tattoo on your chest, you know, or you can get one on your belly right here, like like on your side, you know, you know, traditional man tattoos. That's what I'm gonna got. Cause you know, the tattoos that you know you would see on most men, that normal, you know, normal tattoos, like I say, and we we over 40. Like I said, I know the cat for a while. Like I said, I don't think you never too old to get a tattoo, but you know, I knew at the time he was going through this midlife crisis that he called me, his friend, to help him through. So I guess he was trying to talk his way into it or out of it. I I don't know at the time what he was talking to me about. But like I said, we need to talk him out of this decision. Because once you hear what I'm talking about and tell you where he wants to get this tattoo for, you would thank me and you would say yourself, he glad he called me too. And no, and no, I know what you're thinking. No, I'm not gonna tell you who it is. And my friends out there, he know who he is, he's just gonna have to guess that I'm talking about him. The rest of y'all just got to guess. Okay, but I was thinking he's gonna get a tattoo of a lion or a dragon or you know, a tribal symbol or something like that. Um he wants some flowers, so I was like, okay, you know what? What's wrong with flowers? You know, I I like I like the rose tattoos and stuff like that. You know, it'd probably be one of those little thorny roses you can get on your arm, you know, like black rose, um, you know, something like that. You can get a little thing. Nah, he he wanted like a a a band of rose. A band, a band of roses, uh like, like, like three or four, five rows. Like you say, he won. He would tell me, he said, yeah, I want a big rose in the middle. I want two rows, two little smaller roses on the end, and then two more little smaller roses on the end. And I want to be like five roses period. Then I want to get some vines and stuff put. I was like, huh. Okay. Like, is you gonna get down your neck? Like, you know, like, like right here, your neck, something like that, and get the roses right there or something like that. He like, nah, man, your neck tattoo suck. And I was thinking myself, I'm like, yeah, cause like that sounds horrible getting a tattoo in your neck. I mean, I seen people tattoo the neck. The brave people, brave people, uh-uh, brave people. I just couldn't be one of those brave people. I remember I got a tattoo right here on my um freaking collarbone, and that hurt me. You can't see the tattoo, but that's something right here. But anyway, um, tattoo collarbone. You know, get tattoos close to those bones, they they they stain. I can imagine getting one of your neck right here where you're talking that, just getting a tattoo right there in that soft skin. That hurts thing about it. But anyway, he said, no, Jay, I I want to get it on the small of my back. I like what? Like uh huh. I said, no, tell me again, we we we we wouldn't get this tattoo at it. He said, I want to get it on the small of my back. I like what you mean, like a tramp stamp? You know, nothing wrong with a tramp stand on a girl. But wrong men don't get tramp stains. That that was the confusing part. And so I had to repeat it a third time. He said, Yeah, in a small back, like a tramp stamp. I like okay, I'm a progressive person. I like maybe he crossed to the other side. Um so I asked, I said, is it something you want to tell me? You know, I mean, I'm okay the way it goes. We still gonna be friends. Uh he said no, you say no, me, me and my wife still together. I said, okay, did you tell her about this? Like, he said no, it was gonna be a surprise. I'm gonna get a tramp stamp, the rose, just like I was saying, and I'm gonna get her name on top of it. I like no, no. Um, I I'm okay if you love your significant other and you wanna get your name, get their name tattooed on your body. But for a grown man to do that with a tramp stack on his back, no, get I say, why don't we do this? Why don't we get it on your chest with her name right there over your heart? No, let's let's say he said, no, I I I I really got my mind set on the tramp stamp. And he even said it with me, tramp stamp. I said, so you do know the history behind the tramp stamp, right? And look here, I'm not gonna say the history, but I'm gonna let you look it up for yourself and then come back and talk. Like I said, it's okay that that girls that got trapped. I think it's sexy, the most beautiful thing ever, on a female, not a male. That's just my opinion, okay? I might be progressive or whatever you want to call me in the comments, okay? I'm just saying. Um that that's a midlife crisis we had to let go. Okay. I had to talk him out of this because I'm pretty sure once he got that, and his wife would have seen that, she probably left him. I I mean, I I would have left him. I'm just putting, I if I was a man with that man, I would have left him for that crap. I'm just saying. So um I understand, but uh-uh. I'm glad he called me. And then I told him, I said, you know what, I get the best advice a friend could give. I said, talk to your significant other about this and see if that's something that she would approve of since you're doing it in the honor of her. And he came back a couple days later and said, um, um, I hate to admit it, but you're right. Thank you for the advice. And I like, thank God. Oh my God. I don't even know we can hang out together again. Cause what's next? He he probably gonna show the tattoo off, you know. And what grown man, you know, walk around with a belly shirt or a crop top, you know. I don't know grown men doing that no more, you know. So that midlife crisis, baby. If you are having one, it's okay. It's okay to have a midlife crisis. Just talk somebody before you make a decision on certain things that you're gonna do. The normal stuff is okay. In society, public eye. But even that, like I say, still talk somebody. Don't suffer out here in your midlife crisis by yourself. Your friends are here for you. I am here for you. So, um don't regret the stuff you're doing. Like I said, ain't nothing wrong with a tattoo. Just the way he was trying to get it at. That's that was the problem I had. Like I said, I'm open-minded. If he was, you know, swinging for the other side, and that's what he wanted to get, I'm with it. But you know he wasn't. So I couldn't even explain why he wanted to get it. So that's that's my rant for this week right here. Um going through a midlife crisis, talk somebody. Make sure it's a good decision before you do it. Don't don't don't just do it. Don't just do it. Talk somebody. Okay. So that that's it for me. I'm I'm out here, okay? Um, thank you for rocking with me and listening to me again. Um, please leave the comments, the shares, topic suggestions. They're always welcome. Y'all are wilding out in these comments, so I appreciate it. Thank you for keep commenting on the comments, and we're gonna keep rolling with it, okay? Unstrip the After Ford the podcast, unedited, unrehearsed, real talk from real people. Until next time, control the midlife crisis and reach out to some of your friends. Don't go through it by yourself, baby.