Hot Dad Problems

A rumor at the PTA turns into a mirror we didn’t ask for: being labeled the “hot dad” after 40. It’s flattering for a second, then awkward, then frustrating when smart ideas get waved off with a smile. So we decided to flip the script. We talk candidly about how attention can mute agency, how soft bias hides behind compliments, and how to earn respect in rooms that prefer the joke over the plan.
 
 We share real moments from volunteering with our daughter, where service meets social dynamics, and even a good cause can get twisted into leverage. Instead of shrinking, we try experiments that blend presence with proof glasses that cue focus, real books that spark richer chats, and simple one-pagers that anchor PTA pitches in outcomes, owners, and timelines. We lean on light humor to defuse, boundaries to protect energy, and a consistent stance: self-care is discipline, not vanity. The goal isn’t to be less seen; it’s to be seen clearly.
 
 If you’ve ever felt reduced to one trait, your look, your role, your tone, this conversation offers a path: accept the label without letting it lead, bring data with your charm, and let steady work rewire the room’s memory. We’re also inviting more dads and guests to widen the circle, trade tactics, and turn attention into action. Hit play, then tell us: what’s one small move that helped you get heard? Subscribe, share with a friend who needs the boost, and drop a review with your best boundary-setting tip.

Family, friends, frenemies, pull up. This is your invitation to laugh, reflect, and speak your truth. No edits. No filters. Just grown-folk conversation. New episodes every week. Your comments shape the show. #unscriptedafter40 

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Transcript

Loose Start And Studio Mishaps

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Welcome back to another episode of Unstrifted After 40, the podcast. Unedit, unrehearsed, real talk, real people. I should know this by now. I've been saying it for at least at least two months, but I still mess that guy during free stand up. Okay, but before we get started, um, let's talk about what we're gonna talk about today. Um, hold up, hold up. Let me go out the frame for a second, come back in. So for those of that watching on YouTube, y'all can see this now. Um, as you look over my right shoulder, yeah, it is my right shoulder. My little um sign fell out. So I got a new one though, but it's huge, see, it is so huge, and I love it. It is it is huge. The problem is it's huge, and it keeps falling off my wall. So I'm gonna have to find something to actually put up, but it is huge, it is lovely, and I'm so happy that it finally came in. Um, because I don't have a printer that could print that big, so it's literally um four, four, yeah, four crawls and I think five going down, so it's it's huge, it's tall as me, it's big as me. So yeah, I'm about no, I feel six feet. That's what I'm that's a lot of tell today, but I'm I'm probably about five something, but we're gonna leave it. I feel six feet, but but that leads into my conversation where we're gonna talk about today, okay? Now, I just recently realized I made it, okay. Um, as you get in a certain age, you know, like I say, I'm over 40. I still want to validate that I'm still hot, okay? And the reason I say that I know that I made it is rumors around the PTA meetings now that I started attending to kind of, you know, be more active in my community that I'm the hot dad now. You know, uh-uh. I got hot dad problems, you know. And I realize that I got hot dad problems that, you know, because the the way the ladies be looking at me, and you know, the men be a little jealous. It's not my fault that I don't have a beer gut yet. Maybe never. I don't even like beer, so like I said, I don't even drink, so I might taste a little beer, but beer, beers. For those who like beer, it's a required taste. I gotta say it for them because I don't know how they require it. But anyway, like I say, I got hot dad problems, but but that's not the kicker about my hot dad problems that I want to talk about. You know, I'm starting to realize that I don't want no hot dad problems. You know, I like um not being harassed. Um, because now I understand what females feel now when people are gawking at you, like I can't even wear um form-fitting pants. Or not even foreign-fitting pants. This is just they're just not baggy, you know. I uh I wear a belt. So it's show my little Batootti Pudie back there, and people are taking pictures of my Batuda pootie and sharing it among the mom's group here. So, I mean, I don't I'm flattered, but should I be a little scared? I am flattered, but should I be a little scared? Uh that's the why I'm trying to think through my head, think about it, but but that's not the problem. But I made it. I'm I'm a hot dad now, and I'm I'm okay with that somewhat. But this is the problem I have with the hot dad problem, okay? Like I said earlier, that I start doing more community service things with my daughter and stuff like that. You know, um, she always been going to the homeless shelters and feeding the homeless and stuff like that. She's been volunteering a time, you know, she needs that stuff for college that she's trying to do. But she actually enjoys it too. So that that's a good thing, you know. She's doing it for college, but she actually enjoys it. So that that's a win-win for me in the in the hype thing. But I'm starting to realize that only means she brings me is so people give her what she wants because they think her dad is hot. So uh I think that first of all, that is wrong. She she uses me because of my hotness. And I don't think that should be, you know, validation for her to hang out with me because she can get what she wants because her dad is hot, because he goes to the gym more, not and trying to look good. So that that's I feel like I'm being crushed, but I'm rambling. Okay, let me start rambling. But like I say, this is the problem I have with. So I'm going to PTA meetings, right? And I have some big ideals, some good ideals. And when I pitch my ideals to these ladies that, because unfortunately, it's mostly old ladies that's there, moms, you know, maybe one or two other dads, but we we're severely outnumbered by the women. Um, I don't think they take me serious. They just take me as a a guy with a, you know, nice chest, nice butt, and a cute face. Um, and when I push my ideals, they like, oh, you know what, he's being so cute. You know, the fine ones always think they're smart. What what what does that mean? I'm like, I'm I'm actually smart. I can spell a couple words. I can speak one or two languages, maybe not Herman fluently no more because I'm getting old. My brain is is is slowly progressing to the stuff I need to remember, but I I think that as, you know, in the hot dad community now that I finally made that, I should be able to, you know, like pitch ideal and people take my ideal seriously. That's all I'm saying, you know. But I guess that that's a problem. So when I pitched my idea at the PTA, meaning it's not going well for me no more. Because when they I I guess if I wasn't a hot dad, they'll take me seriously. Like, you know, when he talked, he actually got something to talk about. But they think just because I got this beautiful face, and I can say these nice chestnuts, but they don't take me serious no more. I don't think that's right. Just because, you know, it's hard being beautiful these days. I just, you know, beautiful people have serious ideals to put out there into the world that people should be taking seriously. So, and then I looked up, where's my phone at? I was looking up some hot dad stuff. Like, let me see. Cause I was going through my phone and I was like, you know what? Let me talk to Chat GPT about this. Because I'm gonna get some chat GPT answers about hot dad problems, right? So, like I said, being that I am a hot dad, I got some hot dad problems, I need to realize that some of the stuff can be wrong about these hot dad stuff, you know. So let me get to it. I did write some notes, okay? Yeah, let me see. We're exploring the moment that you realize that you're a hot dad, okay? That that was the thing I put in there. What is some of the things I should, you know, think about or do to kind of contra, not I'm saying contradict. That's probably why they don't think I'm smart using the wrong words. But anyway, um what can I do to kind of counteract my hotness with my smartness so that they'll think that I'm hot and smart, okay? First thing they said, the chat GPT told me to do, um, wear my glasses more. Yeah. People with glasses are considered intelligent, you know, like put your glasses on, see, hold up, glasses on, glasses off. See, when I got glasses on, I'm still I'm hot. But when I put the glasses on, I'm hot smart. That that's what it is. I put the glass on hot smart. Even though you just readers, they don't know that. Now y'all know that. And y'all better not tell nobody, but you know, if I take the glasses off, I'm just hot. But when I put the glasses on, I am hot smart. And that's what it is, okay? So what else I need to do? I need to make sure that I read a book. So I got a book over here somewhere, and it said read a real book. So I got a real book. Okay. I got a travel book. Okay, I might need to get my book collection, read a real book. That would say so. I can't read no book about I like the Jason Boyne series. Oh, they're so awesome. So I need to get a book to talk about, you know, world history. I like history, so that's fine. I can get some books about history and stuff like that. And you go thing like the history of the school or something like that, and just, you know, sit there and you know, put my glasses in my mouth, and then put it out like that and put it back on, say something intelligent about the book and the town and put it back up. And you know, I still can be smart, heart, hot dad. Smart, hot dad. Because that's some of the problems, like I said, I got right now. But okay, so let me see. Wear glasses more, read a book, engage in current events conversations. Engage in current event conversations. Like, okay, they're failing me now. What what are they talking about? Like, what engagement conversation I need to have with them? Do I need to talk about university? Like the Europeans say, college. Um, talk about what college class something. Oh, I'm not talking about no college class, I ain't gonna even lie like that, cuz I do need to go back to school for something else, but I I don't want to do it. Because like I say, after a certain time, you get old, you just like, why am I still torturing myself? But okay, like I say, I need to get so many things, hot dad problems or thing. Okay, let me let me let me let me go to let me go to co-pilot. Let me see what co-pilot said. How can I combat hot dad problems? Okay, I put it, how can I combat hot dad problems? Okay, classic hot dad problems, the struggle of being magnetic while trying to live your life. The burdens of truthly unfortunately, okay. Let me see. The first one says accept your fate. I'm trying to be smart and not just accept my fate. They say step into the hero's journey. I guess I need to just step into that hero's journey, okay? So I went to another search engine and they gave me something that's out there, landers out there. So I need to accept my fate and step into one of a hero's journey, okay? Okay, we uh we didn't talk about dress, okay? So dress like you are trying not to be noticed. I I can't do that. That, that, that, that I like my wardrobe. I mean, well, my wardrobe, I'm not wearing suits every day, okay? So I can't say that. So, but you know, I do wear a uniform every day. You know, women love a man in uniform, so ain't nothing I can do about that. I have to wear my uniform. I have to go to work. So I can't do that, okay? So that I guess one and two out, okay. Lead with personality. My personalities, what what draw them to my hotness? You you know, have you you listened to me to the podcast? You know, this personality is magnificent and um what you call intoxicating. And then I'm working out, like I say, y'all heard my beautiful voice when I sang this thing. So I don't know. Say, I I guess set barriers, barriers, set barriers like responsible menace, okay? Keep conversation short. I can't do that. Well, it's a politely nigh. Okay, I can politely not. I I could do that, but it's a still being polite. So let me see. Don't apologize for taking care of yourself. I said that earlier. So I guess I have to keep keep that going. So I'm I'm I'm even going no more with that. So let me see. Because they tell me stuff I already know. Because, like I said, I got a hot dad problem. Like I said, the only issue I got right now of being a hot dad, I need them to take me serious at the PTA meeting. Like I said, I got some great ideas. Like I say, I said, don't apologize for taking care of yourself. Because, okay, what they're talking about, like I said, I like to put lotion up. Sometimes. Now, I do wash my hands a lot. So for those of you out there in the podcast, putting the comments, you brutal people down there saying my hands be ashy. Yeah, they be ashy sometimes. Cause I wash my hands. I like my hands being clean, okay? But I do I put grease in my lips all the time, so my lips are like buttery soft, okay? And you know, you see that shine on my head. So if you're looking on YouTube, you see the shine because I put that lotion on my little bald head, they shine it up, you know, put it on my face. And I love to smell good. And like I say, smell good, look good, must be what? Good. You can hear it. Okay, so let me see. Lean into a joke. Okay, I don't know what they mean by that. Sometimes the best way to combat hot dad problems is to treat it like it's a joke or sitcom. Joke or sitcom, I don't care what you're trying to say. Uh well, see, that right now I'm probably reading it wrong. That's probably why they would take me serious. Goddamn reading bad. Okay. Let me see. A little self-aware humor goes a long way. Oh, so I need to make jokes. So when they talk about my, they say, Oh, he's so sweet and cute. I'm like, I know, but um, I do know what I'm talking about. Help me, help me, help me. Take the wheel. I guess we will digress, okay. That's pretty much it. They they got little things. I think out of all the things they got here, say, I think I'm gonna go with number one. And I'm gonna go strong with number one, okay? I think I just need to accept my fate and step into step one of a hero. You can't stop being a hot dad. You can only lean into the power of responsibility. It sounds like I'm talking like Superman, you know, the great power comes great responsibility. So I guess I need to figure out how to use my hot dad power to gain responsibility and respect. So I'm gonna work on that. Like I say, so I'm gonna take the glasses off, like Clark Kent, and stand in my superhero thing and look at you. And I'm gonna say it like this I am a hot dad, and I'm proud of it. But this hot dad is intelligent, and this hot dad has wisdom that the world can hear and need to know. For all you hot dads out there in America, go with number one. Step into your new fate and embrace the hot dadness that you are. And for all you hot dads out there, if you want to talk, we can start a support group. So we'll always already got the podcast Unstrifted after 40. We can do hot dads over 40. Cause if you got older kids or you just over 40, there's a place for you in this hot dad nation. I guess that's what we're gonna do. So, like I say, hot dad problems, baby. I'm gonna just go embrace them. Go with number one, embrace the hot dad problems and work my struggles out and see how I can get these people to start taking me serious at this PTA meeting, okay? So before I sign off, thank you for all the comments and topic suggestions. I'm gonna keep pushing them out to y'all. Like I said, um going to the summertime. I'm gonna get more guests on the show. I hope y'all like the last one where I had um Ronald, um Bowen, and Garrett on the show. We talk about parenting stuff. So I'm gonna get more episodes like that because I like that conversation. We're gonna get more people in this thing. We're gonna share some of these issues I got going on here. So I'm please stay in tune for that. I'm I'm gonna get I'm gonna get these guests on there, okay? We most of the time it's a timing thing we got going on here. So I got to make sure I get on their schedule because unfortunately they're busy people. When you got when you deal with busy people, you gotta get on their schedule, you know. But we'll we'll we'll get there, okay? But like I say, thank you for the comments, the shares, and the topic suggestions, okay? Once again, thank you for rocking with me. Unstripped at the podcast. Comments, shares, topic suggestions are always encouraged. Until next time, Unstripped It at the FOIA, the podcast. Unedited, unrehearsed, real talk from real people. Keep it rolling, baby. Hot Daz, I see you out there.