Driving as I Mean It

I used to be the one rolling my eyes at the car doing 45 in a 65. Then life after 40 did what it does best: it humbled me quietly, in broad daylight, on I-95. One minute I’m feeling responsible, telling myself I’m avoiding tickets and “driving smart.” The next minute, cars are blowing past me like I’m parked, and I get that sinking feeling that I’ve officially become the slow driver.
 
 I’m Damien, and I’m talking candidly about aging, driving habits, and the weird ways your body and brain start negotiating with you. We get into why yoga and running after 40 aren’t just fitness goals; they’re maintenance for everything, including how sharp you feel on the road. I also break down the moment I realized my cruise control had me cruising at 60 in a 70, why the middle lane isn’t automatically the safe lane, and how night vision and “just going with traffic” can mess you up fast.
 
 If you’ve ever felt that pride sting when a minivan passes you, or you’ve wondered whether you’re driving cautiously or driving dangerously slow, you’ll recognize yourself here. The big takeaway is simple: stay aware, be predictable, and don’t let autopilot turn you into a road hazard.
 
 Subscribe for more real talk about life after 40, share this with a friend who needs to hear it, and leave a review with your biggest driving pet peeve or your funniest “I’m getting old” moment.

Family, friends, frenemies, pull up. This is your invitation to laugh, reflect, and speak your truth. No edits. No filters. Just grown-folk conversation. New episodes every week. Your comments shape the show. #unscriptedafter40 

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Transcript

Realizing I Might Be Old

SPEAKER_01 0:39

Okay, it might be official. I might be getting old. Um you ever, I understand the speed limit, okay? Let's get that started before y'all start judging me when y'all hear what I'm about to tell you. But I do understand the speed limit. But I never thought I'd be one of those people that be driving on the speed limit like the old people on the road at doing these days.

Yoga And Running After 40

SPEAKER_01 1:02

But before we get started, welcome back to another episode of Unstripted After 40, the podcast. I'm Damien. As you most know, um we're gonna sit here and we're gonna try not to embarrass me too bad today. But um give you an update. Um yoga class still great. Uh maybe. Yeah, it is. Well, it's helping with my running. Because I started back running and I've been running like two miles a day. Yeah. It's a long two miles a lot. I don't know about y'all, but in your 40s, running two miles is like running goddamn 25 miles. So um I'm surviving. I'm gonna get up to like five miles a day. But the way my body's going and how yoga is scratching me out. Oh, you oh god, I don't know if you heard that. Crack, crack. But yoga scratch me out and get me ready to run. Because this summer I'm gonna continue my efforts and run the marathons, and I need to get my body flexed out. That's probably why I hurt myself. But besides that, besides getting old, but like I started what I was saying earlier. Now, most of y'all know how to drive. Um, I've been driving since, let me see, 93. I think I was 13 then. So don't judge me. Don't even try to start counting up days to try to figure out how old I am. Just know I'm old. Um, but the rule was in the country, if your feet can reach the pedal and you can see across the stairwell, you you can drive. That was like the rule. Because you have to be able to drive to get to the store to get your parents cigarettes and alcohol, they'll let you buy from the corner store because they knew who your people was. But it's the reason why they don't allow you to do that no more, because we got smart and we like, okay, you know what, if we can go to the store and get alcohol for mommy and daddy, we can get alcohol for self. So um that that that that that's why y'all young kids, that's why all the rules out now, you gotta show your ID card and everything like that. Because it was because of us, us 90 babies. We we we fucked it up for everybody. So um, if you were listening to this and you you are under the age of 21 and you can't buy alcohol or you under 18 can't buy cigarettes, it's because of my generation. So thank you. Thank me, thank me. I I saved y'all from a lifetime of heartache and burn and lung cancer and all that stuff. But anyway, so about three

Country Driving Rules And Nostalgia

SPEAKER_01 3:28

or four days ago, well, let me start back over. Let me let me let me let me give you some context to this story. So, have you ever been driving on the road and you see the speed limit say 65, but you are behind someone that's going 55, 45, and you like, man, who is driving like a grandmama, right? Because that's used the phrase they got. So who driving like an old person who drives like a grandmama, right? Going down the road. So once you get around this person, you realize you look over to the window, and it is somebody that's old as fuck. So you're like, goddamn, driving like a goddamn grandmama. They got their glasses on, on their eyes. So those that watch the YouTube, you'd be like, they got their glasses on it real close, and steering wheel, and they drive with both hands, 10 and 12, driving. They they're sitting there, they're trying to look across the still and they're trying to conjure the road so they won't kill us. And which I'm glad. But at that point, if you have to drive with, you know, nine and two, nine and ten, whatever the goddamn, whatever this is, when you're driving, um, you you are in a bad state. Because you know, most of we drive one hand. You know, I drive my left hand all the time, you know. I keep my right hand there closed just in case I gotta put it real fast there and get control of the wheel. But most of us drive one hand now. But if you drive them with two hands, you already behind the power curve. Already. Okay? And then if you're wearing glasses and you are pent up to the string or pent up to the actual window, or your head is resting on the steering wheel while you're driving, you might want to start against my drive view, okay? So, but that that that's usually what it is. Everybody have been around that person that was driving real slow. Like, I'm I'm an advocate. If you're driving the speed limit, I'm not mad at you. I got it. Because

Why Slow Drivers Trigger Us

SPEAKER_01 5:11

if I'm driving over the speed limit, I'm wrong. If you're driving the speed limit, you're 100% right. So I'm wrong. I can't be mad at you for doing the right thing. But if the speed limit is 65 and you going 45 and you in the fast lane, oh no, you you you you you fucking up. You you royally fucking up. You might as well just get out of the car, pull in the side roll, put your blankets on, and call for help because apparently you can't drive. You need somebody to assist you. So um I'm trying to figure out, since I'm giving you this rant about how bad this is and how much these people get on my nerves, when did I turn to one of those people? Oh man, it crept up on me fast. I knew living life after 40 was a little rough, but there's some good times, right? And you know, now I can still drive. I'm I'm not drive with my head on the steering wheel, you know, you know, but sometimes every now and then, you know, when it gets dark, I need my glasses to kind of see, to make sure I can see the signs and stuff like that. And, you know, I generally now, since getting a lot of speeding tickets and realizing that the cops are waiting for me to give me a speeding ticket, I drive the speed limit. Or I might drive, you know, five to ten over, like most normal people. Because that going with the flow of traffic crap, it never works out for you. It seemed like the flow of traffic is going fast with you, but you don't want to get caught. They say, you know what, let's get that idiot. And I'll be that idiot that they get. So, but yeah, when did I became the person that when the speed limit is 65, I am driving 55. And it, like I said, it crept up on me. I don't even know. I'm trying to figure out what day this happened, like thing. But like I said, I noticed it um two weeks ago. Well, not I'm saying two weeks ago, a couple, a couple days ago, about two, two or three days ago. I'm I'm see, that's alright, my mind going bad.

Tickets, Glasses, And New Habits

SPEAKER_01 7:05

My my time sequence in life is is crushing right now, and I realized that I need to get my time sequence right. That's probably why I'll be rambling all the time. But let me get back to the story. So I get them a car and I drive a truck, you know, you know, big truck drive, you know, they're supposed to get the fuck out of my way. I got a big truck. But anyway, I get in the truck, crank it up, you know, I pull out my neighborhood, get a thing. I get on 95, right? And you know when you're on 95, you're supposed to go 95 on 95. I think that I think 95 is the speed limit, maybe. It should be. How you gonna name a highway 95 and you can't go 95 on 95? That's a goddamn song there, okay? So we should be able to go 95 on 95. But I think the speed limit might be 70. But as I was living at my house, getting on the road, getting on the interstate, and I pull off. You know how you pull off, you're supposed to pull off fast on the curve and stuff like that. I got my pickup speed come off the ramp. So off the ramp, I'm pretty sure I was good. But then I got into the fast lane, and I realized in the fast lane, they are going 95 on 95. And when the guy came on my right side and switched past me like I was standing still, I'm like, you know what? This right here is not the lane for me. I need a, you know, I'm not a fast lane person no more. That that I like, you know, I realized that my fault that at this time I wasn't a fast lane person, that I need to move over to the right lane. So I put my blank on, you know, and I took my took my head around. It was daytime, so I turned my head around all the way around, look out my back window, make sure I was good. Now I look at my, you know, right, god damn it, what is it? See, that's under my mind going bad. Right window, right light, or whatever it is, whatever it's called. That thing over there that you can see back behind your car. Okay? I looked out that no cars there. So I slid over, right? And like I say, remind you now, I think the speed limit on 9 and 5 is 70. Well, 70 where I was going at, because on certain parts of 9 and 5, you know, speed limit go up and down, pin up they got in construction. Like, because I don't know about you, I think they had construction on 9 and 5 since the highway been built. I don't I don't never think they never had construction not going on 95. Um, but as I was going and realized what was happening, I say, I'm gonna get in the slow lane. So, and then it's a three-lane now. So, my side, I don't know about where you at right now on your course of 95 or any interstate you drive. Most interstates these days are three lanes, but I'm in the middle lane. I feel like the real the middle lane is the safe lane, you know. I'm not in the fast lane, but I'm not in the slow lane. So I feel the middle lane is like for middle traffic going middle speed. And I thought I was going my usual, you know, five over. But as I'm driving within, I'd say about 10 to 15 minutes of my drive, I'm starting to realize that it's a lot of cars zooming past me as if I'm standing still. And I'm like, oh my god, like what is really going on? Like the first car that zoomed past me, I'm like, it's supposed to zoom past me. It was a goddamn Corvette. You know, if you're driving a Corvette and you're living that Corvette lifestyle, and you ain't going 9 and 5 on 9 and 5 in a Corvette, and it was red, oh, beautiful red. What a glimpse I saw of it, because you know, it went zoom right past me, and I could just hear it going humming all the way through. So I'm assuming it was red. Yeah, was

I-95 And Quitting The Fast Lane

SPEAKER_01 10:36

it red? Oh yeah, it was red. Okay, it was red as we're going through. And I like, okay, so it supposed to go ahead. Next, I see another, you know, truck come past me and it zoomed past me like I'm standing still too. So I like, okay, I'm good. Mama listening to my music, and I'm like, okay, it's fine. You know, it's not me, it's them. They just going 9595. I'm gonna drive speed limit. Cause like I said earlier, I need to drive the speed limit anyway. I'm tired of getting tickets. After a while, getting tickets is old, you know. I'm tired of paying the state of North Carolina ticket money that I could be buying, you know, a new shirt or some shoes or some joints that I don't want. So I need to make sure I keep my coins within my pocket. So I'm gonna say I'm gonna go to speed limit. But after the fifth car cruised by me, and the embarrassing part was that it was a goddamn minivan. You know, people that drive minivans already look like their life is over. And most minivans these days, they are booking it. I don't know where they got to go out in these minivans, but they are booking it. Like these moms and daddy minivans be zooming out in traffic and stuff like that. So I think they got like a new minivan handling or a class they teach you to drive on minivan. Ever since that movie came out on Family Time or whatever there is, was a spa movie with Matt Damon and you know he's a spa, but he has got their minivan. I see the minivan zooming in out of traffic. So, but to me, seeing a minivan pass me, it took a little bit of my soul with it. I like, okay, I can't let this minivan, you know, just pass me like I'm standing still. I got I got to pick it up a little bit. Today, I'm gonna get a ticket because I'm not gonna let the minivan outdo me on 95 when I supposed to be going 95 on 95. We talked about this earlier, okay? So I look down and look at my crew control, and then I have to catch a glimpse of my right pericular, perhaps, peripheral, whatever, my side view or my eye, and I saw that the speed limit was 70. But as I looked down at my crew control, while I was going 60, once again, I saw the speed limit on my peripheral vision, and then I looked down at my cruise control, and I'm going a hot 60. So apparently for the last 15 minutes, hey, look here, I'm going a hot 60. So in my head, I like, oh my God, I am one of those guys or those people now

Cruise Control Shock At 60

SPEAKER_01 13:18

that drives 10 up on the speed limit. I I can't be that person. I realize that at that moment I'm going the wrong direction in life. That's why I start taking yoga to get myself back in the groove. And, you know, and I start running more. Like I said, I'm doing two miles a day, maybe I'm coming off of injury, but I I used to run like six miles a day. I'm I'm I'm I think I'm in pretty good, decent shape for my age. And so I, you know, besides the glasses at night, I could see the road. But apparently I couldn't see how fast I was going while these people were passing me. So um I didn't get my life together. So I immediately took off crew control, and then like I said, I I got to get me a ticket. So I speed up to 75. Okay. Now, mind you now, the speed limit is 70. So I'm going 75, 5-0. 5-0 in my experience, it's not that bad. And I know most of y'all might say, you know, I'm still speeding. I got, yes, you're right. I'm 100% doing wrong. Like I said, if they were doing 70 and I'm behind you riding, you 70, you're 100% right. You're doing the speed limit, you're doing the right thing. I'm doing wrong. I'm not gonna mad at you. But now I'm one of those people, or was trying to be one of the people. I don't know how it creeped up on me. I'm gonna creep out this now because I cannot be one of these people now that drives 10 up on the speed limit. Those people irritate me. And I'm not gonna be one of those irritating people that I don't even like. So I so if it happens again, just like I told you earlier, I'm gonna go ahead and get out of the car, pull to the side, put my blankets on, and call for help. Because apparently I don't need to be on the road no more. I'm a danger to the road. Just like they're a danger to the road. I don't know how I didn't realize I was going 60 while they zooming past me. So now I gotta get my life the right and take together my accountability myself and people let me know that, hey, I need to work on my driving now. I need to pay attention to what's going on on the road. Because I can't be going on 95, going 6. So I wonder how many other times when I ride around town and I'm thinking people just honking the horn at me, just say what up. Hey, what up, man? What's up, what's up? When they're really honking the horn because I've driving too goddamn slow. Well, I'll one of those idiots, you know, like I said earlier, driving 10 up on the speed limit. Speed limit 45, I'm going 25. Probably me now. I need to watch out now. So for those that, you know, 040 and you still driving, driving hot, those who got to live in that

Watch Your Speed And Speak Up

SPEAKER_01 15:55

Corvette lifestyle. I know a lot of y'all, you know, a Corvette lifestyle, because I have seen a Corvette that should have been going 95 or 95, going 60. And I look by this old person, and I'm like, you come on, man, get rid of the Corvette. Go ahead and get you something that could suit your lifestyle. Because I don't even know how you're getting in out of the Corvette. If you driving that slow, then apparently you got a bad back or your foot hurt, bad leg or something. But I need to watch how I'm driving. You need to start watching how you're driving out there. So if you're one of these people over 40 now, and if you're driving 10 up on the speed limit, stop it. Stop it now. Okay? And monitor your friends. I'ma call me a buddy. Now when I'm driving, I need people to watch me. So if you see me on the road driving and I'm dropping the speed limit, honk your horn and say, speed the fuck up, dumb fuck. And I will much apply to hook you up and speed up. I'm not gonna get no ticket now. I can't afford no tickets now. My pocket ain't that great, though. My pocket light. It's light to pay people. I don't want, I like to keep my money in my pocket. I don't like giving it to the state of North Carolina, so we're not gonna work that out. But while y'all out there, be safe on these roads and make sure you're driving at least the speed limit. Don't be don't be that person. Don't be that person. Don't be that person. I don't know what to tell you. But I can't be that person no more. Get my life together while I'm going back to yoga class and make sure I'm driving 45 in a 45. Until next time, people. Thank you for listening and rocking with me. Comments, shares, and topic suggestions are always welcome. Until then, drive the speed limit. Let me tell you,