Lost In The Mall

You ever walk into a store you used to know by heart and suddenly realize it’s been redesigned into a full-on maze? That’s where we start, with late-night comfort TV, a little Family Feud energy, and the slow, hilarious truth about getting older: the stuff that used to feel effortless now comes with detours, extra steps, and a moment of “wait, where am I?” We talk mall nostalgia, 1990s style memories, and why shopping after 40 turns into a mission for comfort, fit, and sanity. 

Then we get into the real comedy and the real frustration: getting lost in Belk for nearly an hour because everything moved and nothing is clearly marked. It sparks a serious idea beneath the jokes: why don’t malls and department stores have better navigation, clearer signs, or even a simple app that helps you find the men’s section without feeling like you need a rescue team? Along the way, we check in on fitness after 40, gym progress, running, and the grind of preparing for a Tough Mudder when your body is improving but still complains. 

Finally, we head to a soul food restaurant expecting a great meal and a chill night, only to get hit with surprise karaoke. The speakers are loud, the early singers are rough, and one performance straight-up disrespects a classic. But the food shows up and saves the night: fried pork chop, cornbread, baked beans, corn, collard greens, and gravy done right. We close with a simple takeaway for anyone who loves comfort food and hates chaos: check the vibe before you go, and maybe don’t mix dinner with a microphone. Subscribe, share this with a friend who hates surprise karaoke, and leave a review with your worst “public singing” story.

Family, friends, frenemies, pull up. This is your invitation to laugh, reflect, and speak your truth. No edits. No filters. Just grown-folk conversation. New episodes every week. Your comments shape the show. #unscriptedafter40 

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Transcript

Family Feud And Stealth TV

SPEAKER_00 0:13

I really need stealth internet because these reruns of Family Feud now got me watching Family Feud. And you know what? I don't even know if it's still actually on the air, but it's freaking hilarious. So I'm going to find the TV channel or the game network channel and I'm going to watch Family Feud. I'm going to do what old people do. I'm going to sit up there at night and watch game shows. I ain't up to Jeopardy yet, but Family Feud, I'm coming for you, okay?

Mall Nostalgia After 40

SPEAKER_00 0:41

Welcome to another episode of Unstripted After 40, the podcast. So, um, how many of y'all been to the mall lately? Okay. So if you haven't been to the mall lately, it is not like it was back in the 90s when we came up. Because, you know, back in the 90s when you go to the mall, you actually went there to look for clothes, you know, and to find the latest gear, you know, back then, you know, bugle boy jeans, um what's the new Nikes and stuff like that. Me and myself, I wore penny loafers and dress pants. You know, I thought, you know, I was living in the 1920s instead of the 1990s because I thought dressing up was the thing to do. I don't worry about it. I was a weird kid, okay? I wanted to look good. I thought looking good was dressing up. So, but as I get into this story about going to the mall, so one of my friends was coming down here where I live to go to a promotion ceremony for one of his long-term soldiers. He was gonna give a speech. So, first of all, he wasn't prepared to give the speech. Because when I asked him, I said, hey, did you write the speech yet? He said, I'm gonna write it on my way down there to come see y'all. I like, but what you mean? Like, it's tomorrow, and your thing is the next day. You know, me, it takes me about a week to write a good speech, but I guess um I'm over preparing. I guess that's what I'm doing. I'm just over-preparing. But anyway, I'm rambling. But so I went to the mall because what I want to do is find me some, you know, new comfortable shirts, you know, some scratchy shirts. I realized that my um medium shirts or mediums, and for those that can't see me um on the progress, I'm doing the quotation marks. I don't wear smeadium shirts. I'm just big, okay? I'm gonna tell you what my mama said. My mama said only fat people wear big shirts, okay? And I'm not fat. I don't know if you see me. You can see this body here. I'm I'm a little I'm a little guy, okay? And I live weights, and I like I told you, I've been running. So, but but but the talk about running since I'm on that topic anyway, um, the gym is going fucking outstanding. I'm still tired and old, and it's still killing me, but I am improving. So I'm I'm still getting ready for that tough mother. I I haven't forgot about it because they haven't forgot about it, and they keep reminding me about it, you know, at least once a week. Um So I'm gonna still work on that. But anyway, I went to the mall to find me some new comfortable shirts and stuff like that, and I went into belts and got fucking

Lost In Belk And Store Mazes

SPEAKER_00 3:26

lost. I I they rearranged the goddamn store, okay? They they they they shouldn't put the they need actually signs as you go into belts about where you're going at. And then first of all, where's the goddamn elevator or the escalated stairs? That that used to be in the middle of the store, and I think it was probably still in the middle of the store. I just don't know because I came in a different side that I'm not used to coming inside. And when I got in there, I know the men's section, I guess it's on the bottom or the top or the middle. See, I don't know where it's at now, but what they need to do is get like a uh an app. Somebody needs to develop an app, an app for people over 40 that get lost in stores they haven't been in in decades, okay? And that's the key. I haven't been in belts for a long while. And apparently, um from hearsay, old people still have belts a lot. So I guess even when I came in there, there was always on a radar because as soon as they realized I was lost, I had like three or four people come and assist me to get me where I'm going at. And I thought because I was black, but no, it was because I'm old. Because old people apparently still out of belts all the time. I didn't know that. I I thought once you get our age, you know, you're through that stealing phase, but I guess people are still stealing out of these stores in here. And I don't even know how they thought they were gonna get away. Like, you know, to steal some of the belts and to actually get out of belts and get to your car, you are fucking amazing. So if you're one of those people that actually stole some of the belts and got out and got to your car and they get lost in the maze of the store, call me, you know, or leave me a message or thing and tell me how you did it. I'm not gonna go steal now because I um I don't want to go to jail for a t-shirt or a pair of shorts, you know. I don't think it's worth it. It's not worth it these days. I I I if I can't afford the shorts or the shirt, I need to save up and I need to reevaluate my life. But like I said, I'll go in and get a shirt. Um and I end up going to Express because I actually know how espresso looks. It's only two sides, only one layer, one floor, two sides, women, men. So once I got out of belts and got into Express, I went and bought me, you know, some nice slacks, some nice pants and stuff like that. So, you know, I can make sure I want something new because I'm going out to dinner with my friend, you know. So, and the place he wanted to go to was a soul food restaurant. And that kind of gets me into my main story. I looked up like several soul food restaurants in my area, and a lot of them, all of them had like, you know, four, well, you know, three and a half to five stars. So I kind of picked the one that was like close to my house and had a couple of stars on it that people say that they was, you know, good. So it's a phenomenon going on in my town that I didn't know about until I went to this soul food place, okay? And it's not the food. I I wish it was a thing that, you know, when you go out in a place, the phenomenon is, you know, you're gonna get some goddamn good food. But I guess everybody got a gimmick. I I don't know, I don't know if gimmick is the right word, but you know, a feature or something to draw them to their restaurant. I thought the food was supposed to be the thing to draw you to the restaurant, but apparently you need more besides good food these days. Because, you know, back when I grew up in the 90s, you know, if you had good food, people came back to your restaurant, you know, just like why I am a stickler when I don't know if y'all remember. Um, back in the day before Golden Corral just got disgusting. And when I say disgusting, it's more the people when they go around a buffet bar, they just they don't got no home training. They got them corn in the the collard greens, you know, they got biscuits on the cornbread. They're messing up everything. There's just no organization there no more. And they don't climb up behind itself, or at least be neatly when you at the buffet bar. It's a buffet, okay? You know, you just can't just go and slap food everywhere and put food this way and thing. But go to Corral, even still to the day, delicious food, hands down. Um, let me see, what's another cracker barrel? Cracker barrel is another store place I used to go when I was younger and eat. And it was freaking delicious, you know. The food was great, that's why I kept going back. And then if you're like me and you party a lot back in the day, you never can forget old faithful freaking Waffle House, okay? Waffle House, still to this day, is one of my favorite restaurants, even though sometimes you go in there, you don't know what you're gonna get. Because some of the people in Waffle House are crazy, and it's okay. It's like you know, going to a uh a person's house and they say they're a good cook and they're fat, you like you feel secure, okay? Nothing against fat people, so put please don't confuse me. But if you're gonna say you're a good cook and you're skinny like me, I'm not trusting your food. I'm just putting it out there because it's it's no way that you can be an outstanding cook, in my opinion, if you don't have a little weight on you, okay? Most people that are grape cooks got a little weight on them, and when you taste their food, you understand why they got the weight on them. If I cook that great, guess what? I'll be fat too. Because, like I say, hey, I'm an okay cook, and and that's all I am, okay. I mean, I'm not gonna kill you, but my food is not gonna make you keep coming back to see me for my food. That's why I like going out to restaurants, okay? But that's round. But so I went to the mall, like I say, got lost in belts. After I got lost in belts for about, you know, it had been like 45 minutes. 45 minutes to an hour, I got lost in belts. And they should have came and found me earlier. That that should have been the first thing of. I mean, I need to get me a life alert thing so when I get lost or update my Apple Watch, so when I get lost, I can hit three or four times, and my kids will come find me and lead daddy out of danger. Um, because like I said, I'm not that old, but when you get lost in the store, you might start have to renegotiate your life decision and what you're doing in life. So went to Express, got me a nice shirt, got me some nice slacks. So the next day come in, right?

Dinner Plans With Unprepared Friend

SPEAKER_00 10:17

Friend comes in town, he still had my royal speech, okay? So it the next day's game time. The cat ain't wrote not one line of his speech, but that's here now there. Like I say, his family want to go to a soul food restaurant place. So we went to a soulful restaurant place. Like I say, and this is the first time I actually went to this establishment. Now, like I say, the stars on the food was outstanding. So I like it, it the food has to taste good. And when I walked in the restaurant and I kind of peeped behind the counter, a couple of people was large people. So I'm hoping that those be the people that's cooking. Because you can't cook soul food, like I say, and be skinny. Because if you're cooking good soul food, you're going to have a little weight on you. And I'm okay with that. To me, to me, and only me, and like I say, my opinion, that shows me that your food is outstanding, that it gave you some health to your body, that that's how great your food is. If if your food and you're a great cook, it's supposed to give health to your body so that you can get some weight there. I put you a little belly there. It's alright. If you're female, you're a good cook, shoot, you got me. I I your weight, hey, look, we'll we'll work, we'll work with that. Because if you can cook, I can work on your weight. I can't work on your cooking. If you can't cook, ain't nothing I can do for you, okay? I can't help you cook because like I already told you earlier, I don't know how to cook. Look at me. I'm small, I'm an okay cook. I won't kill you. I'm like, I'm like the person that said thing, like a whole tone. And that's gonna come in later on as we go there, okay? So we get to this soul for restaurant, right? And we get in there. I meet them, we meet and greet, we introduce each other, families and stuff like that, and then they got there before me. What he didn't tell me was it was a special night for this establishment,

Karaoke Night Crashes The Meal

SPEAKER_00 12:13

right? And when I say special night, it was karaoke night. So I did not expect that to be there in a soul food restaurant, um, especially on a Thursday night. Well, you know, I expect they have some music playing, but it says soul food. Nowhere in their lookup did they say karaoke. Now, I know most of y'all don't know me, but um know this about me when I was to say this right here, because most of y'all do know me, but y'all know this about me. I I don't do karaoke. I I I I don't sing, okay? I like I've said earlier, I can't really carry a note anyway. I mean, I sang in the choir when I was younger, but I sang in the back of the choir. I made sure that my voice did not echo loud enough to mess up the beautiful sounds that they was making, okay? So knowing that, I say, you know what? I'm not worried. But as we were sitting down, the guy or the DJ that was doing the karaoke, sometimes people need to work on their sound. And now I understand now why they got sound engineers, you know. Um, the karaoke speakers was so loud in there that we was in the back of the restaurant, and I guess it's supposed to echo to the back, but it wasn't supposed to be like a raining cat, you know, like yeah, like like that, you know, something like that it was horrible, okay? Um now, and then second, most time the people that do sing karaoke is not the best singers, you know. You might have out of five, you might have two that can actually blow. And this night, yeah. Yeah. First lady got there, uh-uh. She she it was a good song too. Uh she played Whitney. Uh, you know, you want to dance with me? Um, or I want somebody to dance with me, or something like that. Um I know I'm jacking up the goddamn song, but I want somebody to dance with me. Um y'all know the song Tom I don't want to act like y'all don't know that. It's it was a Whitney Houston song. Um Want Somebody to Dance with Me or something like that. I I'll figure it out. I'll come back in the comments and tell you what the song is. But um, she got up there. And I'm gonna tell you, she she was no goddamn Whitney. Um she was Fitney. Fitney fuck it up, okay? Fitney fuck up a goddamn classic. And it it hurt my feelings because that one of my goddamn great, greatest song I love. I I give up a dance to that song anytime, you know? It's a great damn song. She fucked up Whitney's song. Oh goddamn Fitney. So Fitney got up song. So then the next person got there, um, it was a I they sing Adele song. And you know, the most popular say, uh, uh, um, god damn, I need to remember these songs. But that's why I remember because they they these goddamn karaoke people done fucked me up and goddamn, got me horrified of the goddamn song. But she was singing Adele, right? She started out, okay. I thought it was gonna get great once she, you know, get on, because she looked nervous when she was up there and she started singing. And man, and it went to a tragedy after that. Yeah, like the first two out of the cake, you know, messed it up. So now I'm I'm like, you gotta be kidding me. Now, I came to a soul restaurant for the first time. Um hoping that when I looked in the back, that the people that is cooking the food was a little big. But I don't know. I was hoping, because you know, just hoping, just hoping the food tastes good. Okay, because it got some good stars, so it was good there.

Soul Food Saves The Night

SPEAKER_00 16:06

Um but once we got our food, we well, we ordered food during the karaoke time, we got our food, and the food came fucking outstanding. Um I'm I'm not gonna I'm not gonna bullshit you. The food's great, okay? Um besides the karaoke crap, the food was great. And to top the night off, like I said, it was the the food was awesome. Like I said, I got some fried pork chop with some freaking cornbread, some baked beans, corn, and collard greens. Oh yeah, collard greens. So it and they got me, they gave me some gravy, that brown gravy. Oh so bravo to the chef back there. Besides, like I said, karaoke almost fucked it up, almost left. But I'm like, you know what, stay, stay, stay. The food might be great. And I'm glad I stayed. But um, his karaoke phenomenon, we we we need to wrap that crap up. But anyway, the like I said, you might get two things. So we did got this one guy, okay? He was in a wheelchair. And when he rolled his ass up to the goddamn stage, and he whipped out, like I said, he had in his cargo pocket, he whipped out his own might. I knew right then that motherfucker was gonna tear it down. And and I was correct, okay? He sang a Joe LaVert song. And my God, I thought it was LaVert. If he would have stood up from that goddamn wheelchair and came down and touched that woman's face that was in front of him and kept singing to her, oh, it would have been like I say, the tops to the whole night.

Maps For Malls And Final Thoughts

SPEAKER_00 17:56

But just to keep a long story short, like I say, um, the mall is fucking horrible, okay? Uh uh, we need to redo the mall. At least get some goddamn GPS instruction around the mall. We need, I I think it should have a map. Like when you walk into the mall and they give it to you, just like you know, you go in these parks and stuff, the national parks, a map. And it tells you how to get around the goddamn stores, okay? We need a map. I can read a map. If you're gonna give me no GPS, at least give me some paper, right? Can we need a map? Okay, and then um I I need to start checking these restaurants before I go to them and make sure that I'm just getting the food and not the entertainment. I I didn't know I was gonna get soul food and karaoke, you know? So karaoke seems to be a thing now that everybody's doing it. They're drawing it. So I don't know, Wednesdays and Thursday night, be careful. You might run into some goddamn karaoke because they're doing it everywhere. It's a goddamn phenomenon, it's a goddamn disease that is spreading. Like I said, not against karaoke. I'm just not a singer, but if I come to eat your delicious food, which their food was delicious, I don't want somebody ruin it with their horrible voice, okay? Because everybody can't sing. That's why I like I say that I missed my singing career, but obviously I did not because I'm not singing. And if you know me or heard me, my singing career is not what it is. Um so um, it's a pipe dream, just like they like their dream was. It was a pipe and a dream that they should have just let go. But hey, if they were having fun, I love it. They love it, I love it. But it's just not me. So if we if you're with me and you're trying to take me to karaoke, especially I ain't drunk. Don't take me to eat first. And I'll take karaoke. I just can't eat and do karaoke at the same time. That's not how my life built up no more. So let's let's fix that, okay? So, but thank you for all the comments and the topic suggestions. Keep rocking with me until next week. Go sing some karaoke. I know I just say all that bad stuff by kid. But go sing some karaoke. Just don't eat while you sing karaoke, okay? Keep it rolling, baby.