Number One Fan

What if the loudest applause your child ever hears from you is still ahead of you? We dive into the quiet turning point when early praise fades and how that silence shapes teens and even grown adults. From first steps to first jobs, we explore why approval is more than a nice-to-have—it’s a felt memory of safety that lives in the body, guiding confidence, risk-taking, and resilience long after childhood ends.

I share the hard truth many families recognise: we give our best energy to colleagues and acquaintances while our loved ones get the scraps. Then we wonder why home feels tense, distant, or distracted. Together we map the way back with simple, repeatable practices—no phones, short daily check-ins, and entering your child’s space with consent and calm. You’ll hear how presence can replace pressure, how praise of effort and character strengthens identity, and why consistency beats grand gestures every time.

There’s also a personal story at the heart of this conversation. A single question to my dad—“Would you listen?”—met with an instant yes that ignited this very podcast. That moment shows the lifelong power of parental belief; it can move an idea from daydream to action in weeks. If you’ve drifted from being your child’s number one fan, you’ll find practical ways to rebuild trust, turn your home back into a safe base, and cheer loudly again through the teenage years and beyond.

If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a parent who needs the nudge, and leave a review to help more families bring their best selves home.

Chapters

• 0:06 The Need For Lifelong Approval
• 0:31 Early Praise And When It Fades
• 1:40 Approval As Safety In The Nervous System
• 3:14 Daily Rituals Of Love With Teens
• 4:08 Home As A Safe Space Again
• 5:22 Rebuilding Connection Through Presence
• 7:59 A Father’s Yes And A New Podcast
• 10:33 Back Your Child Or Who Will

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:06

Today's episode is so eye-opening. If you are a parent or a child, you need to hear this. I'm going to tell you how to be the person you would want in your life. Everyone craves the same thing for themselves and for the people they love. What is it you ask? Let's find out. We are all the stars of our own show. It's your life, so why would someone else play the leading role? From a very young age, we seek the approval of others, and this starts with your parents. When you were a baby and you gave your first smile, your parents' faces lit up with joy and they gave you a positive reaction to the facial expression of smiling. You said your first words and your parents screamed with excitement.

SPEAKER_01: 1:02

Whoa, did you hear that? Say it again.

SPEAKER_00: 1:05

They kept encouraging you to speak. When you took your first steps, your parents were so proud. They pulled their phones out to take photos and videos. They called your grandparents and told them about you reaching another milestone. But when did the praise stop? At what point in our lives or in our children's lives did you stop being their number one fan. I'm here to give those of you who have forgotten a reason why it's not too late to start again. Maybe you lost your way, or maybe you stopped seeing your child as a child. No matter what age you are or how old your child is now, they're still your baby. Not literally or physically. What I mean is emotionally. Why did you stop showing them you love them the way that you did when they were little? Mum and Dad don't love me anymore. Is it because they grew up so you thought you had to adjust the way you behave towards them? Or did they ask you to stop praising them, to stop cheering them on? Like when they took their first steps into high school, or when they applied for their first job and they actually got it. I'm here to tell you no, you should never stop cheering your child on in life.

SPEAKER_01: 2:26

You can do it.

SPEAKER_00: 2:29

Parental approval and acceptance is unconditional at its core. No matter what age your child is in life, a teenager or an adult, wanting approval is not a belief. It is a felt memory. So later in life, wanting approval is less about the present person and more about the past association. This is something our nervous system learned from our parents when we were young. When your parents are pleased with you, you feel safe and it gives your child permission to exist. This does not disappear when you grow up. It is embodied in your body and your emotions. I'm a parent of three. I have two teenage boys aged 17 and 16 and an 11-year-old daughter, who I still tuck into bed at night. I make sure the last thing I do before I close my eyes at night, before my children walk out the front door of our house, or just before they jump out of the car when I drop them off at school is give them a kiss and tell them I love them. Love you mum. My children are teens and a tween. They have not told me to stop, so why would I stop showing them I love them through the actions that I've been doing since they were little? They know it makes me happy and it makes them feel good. So why would I change my behavior towards them that signals continuity?

SPEAKER_01: 4:01

You were loved even as you grow.

SPEAKER_00: 4:07

When did you shift from being that lovable, approachable, open-minded, nothing is a problem type of parent into a closed-off, nothing is good enough, I'm always tired and grumpy person that your child now has to come home to every day and share a house where the space is full of your tension and pain. Is that fair on your child? No, it's not. When you let yourself go in life to a point where you're so miserable and exhausted, this has a massive impact on the people around you. I'm not talking about the people you work with, not your friends at the bar or the teammates you play sport with. No, those people get the smiles, the easy going up for anything energetic version of you. You have created a narrative where you believe it's okay to dump your baggage down and offload all your miserable emotions when you arrive at the front steps of your house.

SPEAKER_01: 5:04

Oh, what a day, I'm exhausted.

SPEAKER_00: 5:07

You need to take your mind back. Back to the days when you got excited to drive home. A time when you walked to the front door and as soon as you opened it, you were greeted with tiny footsteps running towards you, followed by the words Mummy, Daddy, you're home. I'm sure we can all remember the days when you had all the time in the world to sit on the floor and play toys with your child. You read them books to help them learn. You gave them all the love and attention they deserve. So why when you come home now, don't you have the time to sit with them? Why aren't you checking in with them? Do they need your help with their homework or assessments? Why don't you play in their room with them anymore? Or even go and sit with them and watch them play their favorite video game? What has changed? It's still the same child, you still come home from work at the same time. What has changed is the connection you have with your child. You might think they want space or that they would like to be left alone. Even if they ask you to leave, you need to stay emotionally available and check in with them again later. Children need consistent quality time and reassurance. When you see your child next, make it a habit to go into their familiar space. Ask consent to enter their bedroom or toy room, wherever they hang out within your household. If you don't have a close bond or connection with your child, this will feel strange for them as they are not clear on what your intentions are. At first you could sit there. You don't need to speak, just use your body language to show them you are calm and it is safe for them to continue doing whatever it is they were doing. Do this over the next couple of days. It doesn't have to be for long. You might only stay for a few minutes, but as the days go by, you will find yourself staying longer and longer because your child will begin getting used to you showing up. They will start chatting to you and you will learn so much about their day without even asking.

SPEAKER_01: 7:19

How is your day?

SPEAKER_00: 7:22

Your child naturally thinks you do not care about them when your household is busy and no one notices them or when comfort is inconsistent. My parents don't care about me anymore. Showing your child through your actions will create a pattern that makes them feel loved over time. Be present when your child speaks. No devices limit distractions when you spend time together. Each child is different, and as their parent, you need to learn what actions show each of them that you truly care. I remember when I first came up with the idea to start my podcast. It was on November 23rd, 2025. I went to watch a local soccer game with my husband Chris and both of my parents. I had absolutely no idea how I was going to do it, but I knew it was something worth trying, as it consumed me. My podcast was all I could think about. The excitement I got from the thought of it was electrifying. I would get butterflies in my stomach. The thought of speaking to people and talking about my own experiences with relationships, what I have learnt and how they could have a positive impact on listeners' lives. I also knew this podcast could fail. It would be a long shot to turn this dream into reality. I knew it would take a lot of time and effort, but I was so passionate about this idea I had to give it a go. And do you know what prompted me to start writing my ideas down and getting the ball rolling? As I was walking into that soccer game, my focus was still on the podcast. I turned and said to my father, Dad, if I made a podcast, would you listen to it? He replied without a blink of an eye.

SPEAKER_01: 9:15

Yes, darling, of course I would listen to your podcast. I listen to podcasts all the time.

SPEAKER_00: 9:22

That was all I needed to hear. My father saying yes was motivation enough for me to go ahead and fulfill my urge to create it. It took exactly seven weeks and three days to launch my first episode. I was so motivated by the fact that I not only had my father's approval to chase such a wild dream of becoming a podcaster, but to be reassured and know that I already had my first listener straight off the bat. I had not even started creating any content. My father was already my number one fan. The instant gratification I got from my father that day with no doubt in his mind that I could actually do it. No question asked, he didn't even know what the podcast was going to be about, but he was already committed to tuning in and listening to find out. This personal experience shows just how much parents' opinions and approvals mean to a child, even one in their 40s. It can motivate and give them the courage to pursue their dreams. When you show an interest in something your child is interested in, and it may not mean anything to you at the time, but it means the world to the person telling you. It gives them the strength and the ability to achieve their goals, even if it fails, they know they have your support. If you don't back your child and unconditionally be their number one fan, I ask. Who will? If you like what you heard, please follow me, hit the subscribe button, and tune in for my weekly episodes on relationships. Don't be a Debbie Downer. Get up off the couch and start living your life to the fullest.