SPEAKER_02 0:04

Welcome to Doolets Unhinged, the podcast where we tell the unfiltered truths and disrupt the accepted view of modern birth and parenting.

SPEAKER_00 0:12

We're your hosts, Alex Shaw and Lacey Morgan, here to cut through the noise, share the stories no one else will, and empower you with real talk that's equal parts honest, funny, and unapologetic. Let's get Unhinged. So, Alex, on this week's episode, we get to chat with one of our favorite clients. Favorite. We love her so much. So much. Such a baddie. Uh Elise Harry opted to come on and share her story of a birth that really didn't go to plan at all. No. Um and, you know, in times felt like nothing was working the way that it was supposed to. Um and so I'm really excited to have her come on and just share the beautiful outcome of a really unexpected delivery.

SPEAKER_02 1:09

Yeah. Yeah. Tune in. It's gonna be a good one.

SPEAKER_01 1:13

Um he he's eight weeks today. Crazy.

SPEAKER_02 1:19

That's not even possible.

SPEAKER_01 1:21

I know. Can you believe it was eight weeks ago?

SPEAKER_02 1:23

It goes by like that.

SPEAKER_01 1:26

It does, but it's also slow.

SPEAKER_02 1:28

Yeah, it feels so slow. It's like, how has it been eight weeks?

SPEAKER_00 1:32

Yeah, that that saying, Alex, that you just said, like the days are long and the years are short. You when you're living in it, especially in that first year, yeah, it feels like everyone is bullshitting you, right? Yeah, yeah. Feel like there's no way, there's no end in sight. Right. I'm never gonna sleep again.

SPEAKER_02 1:52

Yeah, yes, yes, crying at night, breastfeeding, like I'm so tired.

SPEAKER_00 2:00

Right, that's so true.

SPEAKER_01 2:03

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Most days are really, really, really good though. And uh, you know, I think about the fact that I wasn't sure if I wanted to be a mom. And like we were kind of like, if it happens, it happens. And now that he's in our life, I'm like, oh my god, I can't believe I almost missed out on this. I love that for you so much. Yeah, yeah, it's like immediately I felt that when we brought him home. I was like, holy shit, I almost didn't do this, and like it's so amazing.

SPEAKER_00 2:38

Yeah, it's the best, right? It's the most, it's the hardest and most beautiful thing you'll ever do in your entire life, I think.

SPEAKER_02 2:45

Yeah, and I think people who I don't know, people who this might be a little crazy to say, but we're unhinged. So people who don't have kids, like you they don't understand, they do not understand.

SPEAKER_01 2:58

Yeah, no, you can't, there's nothing that like prepares you for it, right? Like you can't you can't comprehend it until you do it. Same with pregnancy, same with labor, yeah. Right, there's nothing you you just you can't comprehend it until you do it 100%.

SPEAKER_00 3:19

Yeah, and people can tell you, right? They can tell you that it's hard, and but until you're in the throes of it, you don't know what hard is, right?

SPEAKER_02 3:30

You don't know how intense it's going to get.

SPEAKER_01 3:34

Just like I don't know what toddlerhood is like yet, I don't know what teenagers are like yet.

SPEAKER_00 3:40

Well, and every kid is different, right? Like my first was so difficult as a toddler, and my second super easy, right? And yeah, but now my 12-year-old, I keep telling people like one of the two of us is not making it to her 18th birthday, right? I didn't feel that way with the first, the first was an a-hole, right? I didn't feel like I was not gonna survive her teen years, but this one she's putting me through the courses.

SPEAKER_01 4:15

Your 12-year-olds, your middle, right? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:18

I have 14, 12, and 10 right now. Yeah, it's it's a lot, it's hard, especially when they're all bleeding. Like, oh we that's it. I said to them, you know, guys, if you're going through some days where everybody seems like an asshole, it's probably you. Yeah. Look in the mirror. Probably the asshole. Yeah, like it's it's probably you. So recognize that you might be in a part of your cycle where your hormones make you hate everybody. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 4:54

Right.

SPEAKER_00 4:54

And it may not actually be the world. Yeah. You, you're the problem, it's you. But if you like if you can if you can start as a teenager and recognize that, like, hey, my hormone cycles are affecting my mood. Yeah. And my interactions with other people, right? Like, I think it can give you a different perspective in the way that you interface with others.

SPEAKER_02 5:20

Yeah. Through life, through all of your your entire lifespan as a woman.

SPEAKER_00 5:24

Right.

SPEAKER_02 5:25

And the yeah, and understanding that like estrogen makes you social and progesterone makes you turn inward, which is why like the girls are a-holes after they ovulate. Because they're like, they don't, you don't have time or space for anyone else but your own stuff, because you've just spent half of your cycle being social and like putting up with people's stuff.

SPEAKER_00 5:45

Right. Yeah. Well, yeah, and it's the you know, don't f me energy, right? Like, go away. I literally don't want you to come anywhere near me. And so that tells the men and the species to steer clear. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 6:00

Stay alive. Man, I'm glad I had a boy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:06

Oh, the boys. Okay, but they're hearted a completely different way. You are gonna spend the next, I don't know, 40 years of your life, like running after someone, right? Like worrying about how he's having a heart attack. Yeah, like, yeah, like what stupid way are you going to die? My cousin, I remember so distinctly, he would like scurry up trees. Yes, right. And everybody would be like, where is he? Where is he? And you're like, if you don't know where he is, look up. He's in a tree. Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_01 6:38

I've noticed that, like, Christian and I were talking about it today. Like, that baby does not like to sit still. Like, there's gotta be movement all the time. I don't know if this is like a universal baby thing or if this is like a boy baby, like he's gonna be a mover and a shaker.

SPEAKER_02 6:54

Yeah, they are both. They are, yeah, they are who they are. My youngest, do you guys remember the uh Nickelodeon show? Oh my god, what's it called? I was not a TV person, but yet I remember the show. Um, Wild Thornberries. No, it was like a cartoon thing, and I don't want I don't know why I was watching the show, but it was on Nickelodeon and it was like a cartoon thing, and there was this red-headed little boy with crazy long like red hair, and he would just zip around like and he but he would go like and that's how he would like run around, and I'm like, that's my child.

SPEAKER_00 7:28

That is what you model him after five.

SPEAKER_02 7:32

Oh my god, I'm like, I'm with you, at least. Like my youngest does not sit still at all.

SPEAKER_01 7:38

Yeah, it's been fun. I yeah, Christian actually, I said to I got my eyebrows waxed this morning and I took the baby, and he was totally fine, totally fine. And then as soon as I sat down in that chair and the stroller was still, then it's like wailing, right? Like snorting, like, and as soon as we started moving again, and I told Christian, and he's like, Yeah, he likes to move. And I was like, Oh god, you're right, he does.

SPEAKER_03 8:04

Yeah, he does. You're in for it. Oh, it's gonna be so fun. We're gonna have so much fun, so much running around and climbing on things, and it's I'm here for it.

SPEAKER_00 8:17

I'm here for it. It's fun, it's so fun, yeah. It is hard and it is fun. My husband, right? Because he was my husband. I like that long. The husband, yeah. Uh, he he used to tell people that 10% of parenting makes up for the other 90%. Yeah. And I I think that those numbers are a little bit skewed because I don't think he enjoyed it as much as he could have. Uh, but even if it's an 80-20 split or a 75-25, right? Like it's mostly hard work, right? But then they smile at you or they coo, right?

SPEAKER_01 8:53

Or they coos or when he like nuzzles his head into my shoulder into my neck, it's like I melt.

SPEAKER_04 9:03

Yeah, raise his little head down, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:06

Wait until he gives you his first open mouth kiss. Oh my god, yeah. Right?

SPEAKER_03 9:10

Like, yep, it's good. You just love it.

SPEAKER_01 9:14

I'm like it's unbelievable. It really is. It's cool, it's really cool.

SPEAKER_00 9:23

Yeah. So jumping back to people can't prepare you. One of the reasons that we like to bring moms on the podcast is to share their stories. Because I think that the more opportunity we have to hear stories, uh, the the less scary it is to go into it, right? Because you hear these things and you hear how moms overcome the difficulties or they make a choice that isn't, you know, mainstream. I think that it validates uh more mothers to really own their birth. And you, my friend, uh, really, we feel like, and I hope you do, we feel like you really owned your birth, like you made very intentional choices and um and you know, and had a beautiful outcome as a result. Um so we wanted to give space for you to tell your story uh in whatever way feels good and right for you. Yeah, and you know, if you have questions, if there are things that, you know, were kind of like left unanswered, we can talk about those too.

SPEAKER_01 10:35

Okay, all right. Yeah. Well, thank you. I um, you know, it's like it's my only birth experience, so I have nothing to compare it to, right? So it's just like I don't know, it was what it was, you know, and um it's interesting, like talking to you guys and um talking to some of the L and D nurses. They're like, uh, you know, uh the L and D nurse who you know I've had dinner with since my birth, but because we just like fell in love with each other. But she uh she's like, dude, you didn't complain. Like you had a hard labor and you didn't complain. But it's like, I don't know, it's all I knew, you know. But yeah, I actually I am somebody who was like absolutely terrified of pregnancy and birth. And um I I used to joke that I had a phobia about like childbirth, like like, but for real. Like I was like, I don't know, that shit is anxiety producing. And for me, what once I got pregnant, I knew that I wanted like additional support. And I think I reached out to you guys pretty early in my pregnancy. I I knew that I wanted like a neutral person that was just there for me. Um, and so like having a doula there was really important to me. And looking back, it was also, you know, I really feel like you guys helped me make those decisions, you know. Like I got all I collect all the information and I had such a long induction. It was like for each step of the process, it was like, okay, here's all the information, and then like process it, and then like, okay, what do we do now? Right. Um, but yeah, so as far as my birth goes, um I had like planned that I was just gonna spontaneously go into labor, right? And I had this, I had really processed for some reason that like if I have to have a C-section for medical reasons, that's totally fine. Had never crossed my mind that I would possibly um need to be induced. And the two things I did not want were induction, um, and I wanted limited intervention. And knowing how my birth went, um, I was induced and I had like almost every intervention aside from a C-section, I feel like. Um, so at 37 weeks, I I actually I fell. I fell on the ice walking the dog, and the OB's office was like, you need to go in for monitoring. So I was, I guess I was 36 weeks and five days. And so I went in and my blood pressure was high, um, but everything was fine. And and the doctor had said, you know, depending on what your blood pressure is at 30 uh at your 37-week appointment, which was that Thursday, um, you know, you may need to be induced. And I talked to you guys, and we were like, you know, I fell, I had to go to the hospital, like, not really surprising that my blood pressure was high. Um, and I didn't have protein in my urine. So they had also checked that. And um, then I went in for my 37-week appointment, and my blood pressure was even higher. Um, I had protein in my urine. The nurse was so sweet. She was like, You just I'm gonna turn off the lights, you just lay here and take a nap. And like, she's just trying to get my blood pressure to calm down. And she came back in and she gave me this look, and I was like, I don't like your face right now. Um, I don't remember exactly what it was. I want to say it was like 144 over, I don't know what the what the bottom number was, but it was high enough that the doctor came in and the fact that I had protein in my urine, she was like, you really need to go um be induced. And I was like, today? And she's like, today. And I was kind of like, okay, and and like, what are my other options? And she was like, well, you really need to go be induced today. And she said, if you're not going to do that, you're going to need to go to the hospital for four-hour monitoring, like every other day. And that was like, oh, I don't want to do that. So I think I had reached out to you guys. I hadn't even told my husband yet, right? Because he was like out with with um my my mom's partner, they were having beers, and so I wasn't gonna be like, hey, by the way, need to be induced tonight. Um, but I had talked to you guys, and we had talked about the fact that like now that there was protein in my urine, that I was probably it probably was important for me to go get induced. Um I did not want to go down the road of pre-eclampsia. So um I got to the we got to the hospital. I like came home and cleaned my house because we like were having a dog sitter come. I was like, shit, I gotta clean my house. I like real quick vacuumed everything. Um, and then we grabbed food and we had a call with you guys on the way over. And I think we got there at like nine o'clock at night. Um, I had my first cervical check when I got there. Um, I was not effaced at all. And so we started at the very beginning. Um, and so actually that physician first said to me, She's like, Your blood pressure actually looks really good. And she's like, I might be able to send you home. And she's standing there and she looks over and it like spikes. And she's like, Okay, never mind, you're not going home. I was like, why would you even don't tease me like that?

SPEAKER_00 16:17

Um it breaks my heart, actually, at least because um we recently had another client who was uh what diagnosed with gestational hypertension, maybe.

SPEAKER_01 16:28

See, I think I met her.

SPEAKER_00 16:29

I met her in the group who told me. Yes, and we sent her to Joe. Yeah, right. Like, dude, if you ever get pregnant again, I want you to go to Joe like right off the bat.

SPEAKER_01 16:42

100%. Oh, go see your guy, Lazy.

SPEAKER_00 16:48

But that's all in the past. So anyway, go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 16:51

Well, and my blood pressure was like perfect throughout my whole pregnancy, and then it just started to creep up at the end. But I guess that's that's kind of what happens too. Um yeah, so um we started with uh wait, now I'm I'm getting them mixed up. We started with sight attack. Sight attack. Okay, so we did the six doses, right? Four hours four hours apart. So 24 hours of sight attack. And like, I don't remember exactly. I feel like we really did not make any progress. I feel like I was I was cramping. Um actually, let me back up. One of the things you guys told me that I think was so, so, so important for both my husband and I um was that this induction was probably going to take four days. And it was Thursday night. And you guys said, you know, you're probably gonna meet your baby on Sunday or Monday. And I'm so glad you guys prepared me for that. So glad. Um like you guys just set the standard real low.

SPEAKER_02 18:01

You you are the one though that took that and like and really processed that and accepted that we say it, you're not the first, and you will not be the last, at least, that we say this to. But I think you really processed and accepted that timeline for a lot of women. They are unaccepting of this, the fact that it could be four days until you meet your baby, and then they start making decisions that they made because they want to they want it to move along faster. They want to meet their, they want to be done, which is okay, you do you, but you really, in my mind, like you really sat with that and you accepted it, which I think is what made it so air quote here, like easy for you to be there for four days without complaining.

SPEAKER_01 18:47

Yeah, yeah, right. Yeah, uh for sure. I I feel like I was I was really sad. Like there was some sadness and some grief that like I had to be induced. Yeah, um, and that I wasn't going to spontaneously go into labor. You know, I think you guys had been at my house the week before and we had gone over like how Christian could help me while I was laboring at home, and like, you know, I just I had this was the one thing I hadn't processed, right? That like I may have to be induced, and that just like wasn't even a thought, right? So I was really sad about that. But then once it was like, okay, this is what's happening, and I think I also told you guys, we drove to the hospital, right? And it's like it was a Thursday night, like random, it's dark out, and we're getting ready to pull in the parking lot, and there's fireworks going off. And I was like, maybe it's a sign, it's a sign, right? Like, there's fireworks for our birth. Um, yeah, so we did the the site attack. Um, and I feel like not I don't remember the exact details of it, but like I don't think much had happened. And um we have notes from the site attack, which is we have notes. Okay, well you guys fill in there.

SPEAKER_02 20:06

It was I think it was a full 24 hours.

SPEAKER_01 20:09

Yeah, I did all the doses, so it was six doses, right? Yeah. Yep, yep. And I don't remember where things were after those six doses, but I feel like I feel like was I like 30% effaced or something?

SPEAKER_02 20:26

I have 50.

SPEAKER_01 20:28

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 20:30

So some effacement was happening, yeah, yeah. Which is better than nothing. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:36

I remember saying to you guys, like, oh well, I'm having cramps, like I'm having I'm having um contractions, and you were like, Yeah, those are like non-progressive contractions, and I was like, shit.

SPEAKER_00 20:53

But just because it's not dilating you doesn't mean it's not doing anything. And um I don't know if we're jumping real far ahead here, but by 9 30 on Friday night, so you went in at nine nine on Thursday night. Yes, which means your induction probably didn't start until like 11. Yeah, probably. I have 10 p.m. Yeah, okay, um looking at that, but so by 9:30 on Friday night, you were 60 to 70 percent effaced, but no dilation at that point.

SPEAKER_01 21:27

Okay, okay, all right. Um, yeah, so things were happening, and then we did the servidal, which that like okay, the other thing I would just like to say I felt like through my entire induction, there were so many times that it was like, yeah, it's gonna be uncomfortable, right? I don't know why we tell women things are gonna be uncomfortable, but they're gonna be painful. That shit was painful of all of the interventions, that hurt so bad, and it was only Only like three seconds, but it was like I was going to fly off off the bed. Like it was just so intense. I I wish we did a better job. It like I don't, and maybe it's not painful for everyone, right? My cervical checks were also quite painful. And I I think it's probably because I wasn't um xilated at all. Um, but yeah, I mean, like I I like cried, you know, they hurt. So, and and I think it's probably where I was in in the process. Um, but I feel like physicians could do a better job of like maybe we shouldn't chalk it up to just discomfort. Like, hey, it may be painful, you know, like I think there's a catch 22 with that, right?

SPEAKER_00 22:49

Because if you say to somebody like where is their pain in your body, you search for the pain in your body, right? Versus like what muscles are most relaxed right now, then your brain focuses on what's most relaxed. And so if we tell people this is going to be painful, we could create a pain response through expectation rather than experience. Yeah, I don't know. I I don't know what the right thing to do, yeah. Maybe explain that to patients, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:23

I don't know, because it's like it's like a placebo effect, right?

SPEAKER_01 23:27

Like I hear you for sure. But then I was like shocked at how painful it was, right? I mean, he the physician did tell me he that it was like it would be like a sandpaper feeling um going in. So like he did tell me that. I mean, I don't know, I guess maybe it should be.

SPEAKER_00 23:48

You never had sandpaper in your vagina, though.

SPEAKER_01 23:50

So right, two or two together that like sandpaper going in my vagina would probably hurt.

SPEAKER_02 23:57

Like probably not gonna feel great. Brushing on your cervix. That would make me want to throw up.

SPEAKER_01 24:04

So I mean, like almost blew off the net. Yeah, yeah, but it was short, it was so short, it was literally like three seconds of the most intense pain. Yeah, um, and then it was done, totally done, and it was fine.

SPEAKER_00 24:18

For the sake of an educational opportunity here, I just want to say that cytotech is an off-label medication that is a pill, uh, very small pill that is either given orally or it's inserted vaginally. Right. And then cytotech is cervadil, rather, is um intended for the purpose of ripening the cervix, right? So cytotech is a um acid reflex, acid, yeah, acid reflux medication that's used off label, whereas cervadil actually sounds like cervix, right? Was intended for this purpose, and it the medication is on a strip, a cotton strip that they wrap around, they stick it in your vagina and kind of like curl it around your cervix to apply the medication to your cervix. Yeah, I've never heard any doctors say that it feels like sandpaper.

SPEAKER_02 25:08

I have heard I have heard the word the term sandpaper. I've heard it. Yeah, interesting.

SPEAKER_01 25:14

Yeah, yeah. So I don't remember where things were after that and how long 12 hours. 12 hours. So then we're like mid-day Saturday, right? Yeah, yeah, mid-day Saturday.

SPEAKER_00 25:28

You told us um around noon on Saturday that you were like one to two centimeters dilated. And for anybody listening, when a doctor tells you two numbers, one to two, three to four, they're they're live. It's the lower, yes, trying to make you feel better, right? Like they're they're just trying to be encouraging. And while I think there's some value in that, I also think that it's misleading for families, especially when you get the one-off doctor who comes in and is not nice, right? And like is like, no, you're three, and you're like, wait a minute, I was three or four, you know, three hours ago.

SPEAKER_01 26:09

So that happened to me. That happened between two different physicians, and the physician said, Listen, I I can't like it. Basically, it's like kind of subjective, right? Like, I can't speak to what that doctor experienced, you know, or or their thoughts, their thoughts on it. So yeah, that that did happen. And I I can't remember, I think it was maybe the facement. Um yeah, yeah. So then I guess the next thing. Oh, so this is interesting. They kept saying it was that they were gonna do the foley balloon, right? But I think what they actually did was a cook's catheter.

SPEAKER_00 26:48

Do they use that term interchangeably for because I have an experience that they use it interchangeably, uh, but in your case, they really were because the foley is one balloon. They insert the tube in your cervix and inflate the balloon above the cervix where the baby's head would be applied. A cook's cap is two balloons, and so they they insert it, they inflate one above your cervix, and then they pull it down a little bit and inflate the other one under your cervix so that it's Alex.

SPEAKER_01 27:24

I like your hand motions.

SPEAKER_02 27:27

I'm really getting into it. She's virtualizing it as if anyone's gonna see this. They can laugh along and pretend they're seeing.

SPEAKER_01 27:40

Alex is demonstrating.

unknown 27:42

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 27:44

It literally, this is how we live our lives, right? Like lots of hand gestures. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:52

Oh maybe people should see this, guys.

SPEAKER_03 28:00

It'd be good.

SPEAKER_01 28:02

Yeah. Oh man, it's funny. The other thing I want to say too is throughout this process, like the L D nurses at Chester County Hospital, I I assume I'm supposed to say, um were absolutely incredible. Um, I feel like I got such incredible care. And I think, you know, it's also because we were there for a long time. Like, I think oftentimes, based on what I know now, people aren't there for four days, right? Like, so you don't get to know the staff. Well, we got to know everyone. Um, and we had some repeat nurses, and there were a couple nurses that I had a couple times, and like we just had like the sweetest experience with all of this women and like so much fun and like laughter, and um I don't know. I feel like L and D nurses are my people, they're a little inappropriate, and I love them. I just I don't know. I I had like such a good time with them all, and it was just I don't I that like actually like floored me. Like I was really surprised by that. Not that I thought that they were not going to be good nurses, but they were like exceptional. And they really are. Um I also, you know, I'm sure it depends how you treat your nurses too, right? I think we were probably good to our nurses. At one point, Christian like went out and he he went um to get food for us and he came back, and I think he like brought them like cookies and stuff, like he was he was taking care of them too, you know. Um, but like they'd come hang out in our room, like even nurses that weren't our nurse.

SPEAKER_00 30:00

Right, like you're genuinely just fun to be around truly, yeah. Truly, and you know, I I think that the nurses really feed off of that because not everybody is pleasant, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:16

And and not everybody is in there forever as well, yeah. That like you could probably have patients that aren't that nice and dimming and ding and rude and unappreciative, and yeah, I just I felt a lot of great gratitude for the care that I got with KOP doulas and with the L and D nurses, and ultimately, and we'll get there, but um, the physician who delivered um me, and also there was another physician that I I really liked that was on a couple times during that weekend, the male physician, he was great too. Um yeah, so yeah, so then they did the cook's cast, but they were calling it a fully. They definitely called it a fully. Um, and then how long is that in? 12 hours too?

SPEAKER_00 31:10

Yeah, typically they stay in for 12 hours.

SPEAKER_01 31:12

Yeah, and I was bleeding a ton. And I remember I was like, I I told the nurse, I was like, I feel like I'm like bleeding a lot. And she she looked and she's like, you are bleeding a lot. Like she was like, let me. She's like, I wonder if your water broke. Um, and she was like, Let me talk to the physician. And I was a little surprised. Um, she talked to the physician, and I guess she wasn't worried, she didn't even like come in to see how much I was bleeding or anything. The physician just I didn't see her again. I was kind of surprised because I was like, this seems like a lot of blood to me, but I also I don't know what's normal. But the fact that the nurse had said, yeah, it is a lot of blood, and I was on one of those like um, I forget those pads. And she like she's like, What? She's like, I know this is weird. She's like looking at it on the floor. She's like, I'm trying to see if your water broke, and but the physician never came in, which I thought was odd.

SPEAKER_00 32:08

Um, and some bleeding is normal, but you double checking with somebody was a really good idea because they see it every day, right? And so they can be like, Yeah, this is typical, or nope, this is way off of where it should be.

SPEAKER_01 32:24

Yeah. So got through that. Um, and like that was uncomfortable. And in the midst of this, I'm like walking the halls and stuff, right? Like I was trying to be out of bed as much as possible and walking as much as possible. And there were like three or four other women getting induced there, and you know, it was just interesting to see like different people's experience. Like, you know, me and this other girl, we were kind of at the same point. Like, she um she also got got the cook's calf at the same time, and she was like, This is awful. Like, and I wasn't feeling that. Um, I was worried about the bleeding, but yeah, and we were like walking and chatting together. Um and yeah, I okay, so filling the details here. So after the oh, well, actually, when she went in to take the cook's calf out, she goes, Oh, I know why you were bleeding so much. She says, Both balloons were on top of your cervix, um, as opposed to one below and one on top. So she and she was actually the one who inserted it as well. Um so and I was kind of like, what the hell? Like, does that mean it didn't work right?

SPEAKER_00 33:36

Because it wasn't inserted correctly, it worked like a foley instead of a cook's cat.

SPEAKER_01 33:43

Yeah. Right. So um, but that probably um I don't know if that's why I was bleeding so heavily.

SPEAKER_00 33:52

Um I mean, I suppose it's a possible explanation. I don't, I don't know, like what I would think would have been more likely is if they inflated it in the cervix, right? And force the stretch. Yeah. Um to me, that seems like a more likely scenario. Um, but if they had it most of the way through the cervix and were just dilating that inner portion, it could lead to bleeding as well. Yeah. Um so I think um you had the fully come out Saturday night, late Saturday night.

SPEAKER_04 34:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:34

Um, and you guys told us that you were at that point three centimeters.

SPEAKER_01 34:41

So, like we're how many days in and like how many interventions in, and we've made it to three centimeters, you know. It's like, geez.

SPEAKER_00 34:52

Um at what point did the doctor you shared something uh at group about Dr. M saying uh that most people are mad at him. What at what point so that would have been Sunday?

SPEAKER_01 35:06

Because I think he was on, he must have been on Friday and Sunday. And so he on Sunday said to me, He's like, I can't believe you're not mad. He's like, people are pissed by this point. Like, people are like, Why is this taking so long? And I my response was like, my doulas prepared me for this. Like, I was like, they told me it was gonna take four days, you know? Like, so I was fully prepared for that. Like, I believed you guys when you told us it was gonna take four days, and meanwhile, like Saturday was Valentine's Day, and I was like, Oh, that I think Saturday was, and I was like, Oh, that would be kind of cool to have like a Valentine's baby, and then it was like Sunday was the day after. I remember texting my dad, and he was like, Yeah, you might have a Valentine's baby. I was like, I don't think baby's coming today. I said, I think it's gonna be Sunday or Monday. Um so yeah, I I was also after things were going so slowly, I was like, Oh, this is gonna take a while.

SPEAKER_00 36:15

Yeah, so it's so easy. So at that point, you were on Pitocin then, right? The Foley came out and then they started you on pit. So you have Cytotech, Cervadil, uh Cook's cap used like a Foley and Potosin. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:32

Yes. So we did a full round of Potosin, they got it up all the way, and I did not go into labor. Um, and at this point, I'm like, shit, this is not good, right? Like, this is not headed in a good direction. And you know, I had been in touch with you guys, and and you you guys had really advocated for like, let's do a pit break. Um, let's, and I think you guys had said four to six hours for the Pitocin break, and then you had made it a point, Lacy, to say like new bag, right? New new everything. Um, and so one of the nurses had kind of alluded to that too, like, oh, you could do a break. Um so I just asked the doctor when he came in. I was like, you know, can we can we do a break? Um, and he he was like, Yeah, that's that's fine. And you know, I was like, I said four to six hours. He's like, we'll do four.

SPEAKER_02 37:27

And that's minimum too. Like we play for the three. Yeah, it should be more like 12 plus. Um, but the reality is people don't want to, whether like as the mom, they don't want to, providers don't want to, right? So it it but it should be a long, long pause.

SPEAKER_00 37:45

Because it it allows your one, you've got oxytocin receptors in your uterus, right? And synthetic oxytocin kind of like clogs up the it gums up the works, right? And they don't they don't clear from the oxytocin receptors the way that natural oxytocin does. Because it pulses, natural oxytocin pulses, right? Whereas you're getting a steady stream with ketosin. Yeah. And so by taking a break, you allow the oxytocin receptors to fully flush out so that you're starting with like a blank canvas again. And that does not take six hours to happen. But from my perspective, you know, looking more holistically at people, I think that giving yourself six to 12 hours gives you the chance to fully reset. Reset your mind, your spirit, eat, shower, pretend like you are all done, and then starting anew, coming in fresh, like check yourself out of the labor delivery for a minute, right? Like go downstairs and breathe some fresh air, truly reset because and I don't know, you never seemed like you were in this place of like this is never going to work, and like I'm never gonna have this baby. You didn't do that, but a lot of women do they get in your head out, yeah. In your head about it, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:10

I did, we haven't gotten there yet, but at one point, like, yeah, I did kind of get to this place of like, oh, I think I'm headed for a C-section, like this is not working. Um, so yeah, we took the break. I got up, I took a shower. Um, and I also was I was getting penicillin at this point, too, because I was group B strep positive. And I also requested, I was like, can we just stop that? Right. Because obviously I'm still really far from delivery. Like, can we just no more penicillin for a while? Um and I think I asked them to stop it. And the physician said, We're not gonna stop it, but he lengthened the time in between each dose. So I lacey, what did they say? I ended up getting what was it, like 11 doses of penicillin?

SPEAKER_00 40:01

Yeah, it was something wild, which in my opinion, and I'm not a medical provider, so I don't my opinion doesn't count. Uh, but I don't know why they started it before you were in active labor, right?

SPEAKER_01 40:14

Like I think that I and so it's so interesting because I feel like I was like so with it while I was there, but now looking back, I'm like, oh, that is hazy, right? Like it's all really hazy. But I think that they said once they started the pit that they needed to start the penicillet.

SPEAKER_00 40:33

I mean, they don't need to do anything, right? Protocol says and they don't have to. The goal is to get two doses in you before the baby's born. Right. I think I've read four hours before baby's born. And so that would be uh what 12 hours is needed, right? Because it's like a four-hour administration, uh no, an administration with four hours in between and then a second administration. Is that I can't remember what the protocol is, but you know, it it it needs some amount of time, but if you had a precipitous birth and you know, yeah, and you didn't get it, like they won't panic about that either.

SPEAKER_01 41:16

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:17

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 41:18

Yeah, so I got all the penicillin.

SPEAKER_00 41:21

You you literally got all the penicillin on the floor, no more.

SPEAKER_01 41:25

All the penicillin, and I also used all the barf bags in my labor. Um so yeah, we did a break. I showered. I have this memory of the physician and the nurse walking in, and I'm like in my my uh disposable undies and a nursing bra, and I'm like straightening my hair, and the doctor just started cracking up at me. Oh my god. I was like, I can I can stop. And he was like, No, I'll come, I'll come back. It was really sweet, actually. Then he was like, do your thing, you know. He's like, You live here now. I'll just I'll I know where to find you. Yeah, he's like, I'll I'll come back. But he was just, I just remember him laughing at me. He just was like, So, yeah, I guess we did the four hours and then we did pit again. Um, you know, and I'm like watching the monitor and I can see the level of Pitocin, right? And and I at this point, I'm like, I think they turn it up to like 20, right?

SPEAKER_00 42:28

Yeah, 20 is the preferred max they can go over, but yeah, it's that's where my life is.

SPEAKER_01 42:34

So I got to 20 and I was not in active labor, and I'm sitting there and I'm like, this like this isn't working. I am going to have to have a C-section. The other thing that happened on that day, so that was Sunday, and I had the sweetest nurse that day. She was very like maternal. Um, and there was another nurse that came in that was hanging out in my room, was not my nurse, and she was like, Yeah, everybody you came in with on Thursday that was getting induced, they've all delivered. And I and the other nurse sitting there goes, Don't tell her that. Why would you tell her that? Right. I'm like, that made me so sad. I just was like, I I just I've that kind of broke me. Like it would break anyone, yeah. I was like, okay, it's Sunday, I've been here since Thursday, and everybody else has delivered, except so they didn't tell you how they delivered. That is a hundred percent true. I have no idea if any of those ended in in the OR. Like, I have no clue. And the male physician also said to me, He's like, you know, you are in a good place because we are not in an emergent situation, and this is how we want to do an induction, right? Like, if you come in here and it's an emergency, it's a different thing, right? And and so I Really took that to heart that it was like, okay, I'm good, baby's good, like my blood pressure was staying fine. I'd have these occasional spikes, but it was fine. Um, and I guess did we when did we when did I say they could break my water? Was that before the second round of Potosa?

SPEAKER_00 44:24

You told us on Friday, no, on Sunday at four that the doctor wanted to break your water, which we told you was gonna happen because that's the only next step. Um and you told us at 7:47 that you decided to go with the water breaking. Okay. Um, because you had been off of pit since 3.30. Um, and that was the the next step.

SPEAKER_01 44:49

Okay, yeah. So I did, there was definitely a push to break my water, and we had all talked about it, right? And like it was kind of like I went back and forth. It was it was a hard choice for me. Um, and ultimately I agreed to let the physician break my water. Um, and then I think we did the second round of pits. So I think it was all around the same time. Like the second round of pit was around the same time as breaking my water. I don't I don't really know what was first. Um, so yeah, got all the way up to 20 again, and I'm like watching it, and I'm like, I'm gonna have a C-section, like I'm not having contractions, like not anything that was, you know, effective. And then I don't know, like 15 minutes after it got to 20, I was like, oh, this feels different. It's the weirdest thing. Like, I was like, oh wait, like this is really painful. And I guess I got checked somewhere in there, and I think it was four to five. Yeah, you were four. Yeah, right. The lower number. Four to five, four, four, four. Um, and then I think we called you guys, we had a call with you guys, and I remember I was like unable to talk to speak through through my contractions, and it was like, oh, I'm I'm in labor now, right? Like this is actually starting. And um I remember we were getting off the phone and I knew I wanted an epidural, and um, Alex, you said you were like, listen, there's no shame in like getting asking for the epidural. And one of the nurses had said to me, like, listen, once you get in, like, once you're in pain, like, if you know you're gonna get an epidural, there's not really any point to waiting, like, just go for it, you know. And I I labored for a little while, and I think I was five centimeters, and I was like, okay, this is really painful. And so I I did, and they tell you you need like an hour, you know, you you will do like an hour before you want the pain relief, you should ask for it. And the anesthesiologist came in pretty quick. Um, it was so sweet. Uh, and epidural was great. It was like I got instant relief. They say 20 minutes after or something, but it was it, I didn't feel another contraction after he placed epidural. And I went to sleep. Um yeah, I went to sleep after that, and I slept for I think two hours. And then different physician. This is now Monday, and um, she came in and checked me, and she had checked me before before the epidural. I was five, and she I couldn't hear what she said. I have hearing loss in one of my ears, and I she looked at the nurse and said something, and I was like, What'd you say? And she was like, You're complete. And I had slept for two hours, and I said, No way. And she goes, You want to check? She said, Yeah, I was saying, and I was like, No, I believe you, I believe you. Um, yeah, so then I know I like that. I kind of like it, that's funny. So then uh we I think Christian called you guys and and let you know that I was complete and that um I was in active labor.

SPEAKER_00 48:18

And you were past active labor, though.

SPEAKER_01 48:21

Yeah, yes, yes, you're right. Christian walked in with the baby. Um so yeah, Christian called you, Lacy, you flew to the hospital.

SPEAKER_02 48:32

You finally were we I feel like we were together, and she was like, I gotta go, she's complete. Yeah, I can't remember.

SPEAKER_00 48:39

I don't remember what was happening. You texted them my ETA, yeah. So I don't know what was going on. I forget.

SPEAKER_01 48:44

Well I said, Christian, who's coming? And he must never have programmed your numbers in his phone.

SPEAKER_00 48:49

And he said, Alex is coming, and then Lacey shows that because Alex texted, he said, What's the rough ETA? And Alex said 210. Oh, okay. So maybe that's why. But then after the very next text was Lacey is coming, but he's okay.

SPEAKER_01 49:06

Yeah, maybe that's what happened, but at first I thought it was Alex coming. So being Lacey. Um yeah, and then I you were there for a while before I started pushing, weren't you? Like we I feel like there were a couple hours before I started pushing.

SPEAKER_00 49:26

Well, because it's always a good idea to labor down, right? Like there's French research that shows it was like a study of 10,000 women because this is normal in France, right? 10,000 women who labor down. So that means you get to 10 centimeters and then you continue to be in labor. You don't rush the second stage of labor, which is pushing, you just wait it out. Left contractions bring the baby down. The average pushing time. I know you're gonna want to punch, punch me in the throat. The average pushing time for women in France who did this was 8.8 minutes.

SPEAKER_01 50:05

Oh, okay. Yeah, not for me.

SPEAKER_00 50:08

And the longest that anyone in that research study pushed was like 54 minutes.

SPEAKER_01 50:14

Oh, okay. Yeah, I was not in the research study.

SPEAKER_02 50:16

You were clearly not in that study, and even if you were, you would have been the you know, the outlier outlier. Yeah, an outlier, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_01 50:26

Yeah, so and you'll have to fill some of this in too, Lacy. But like, first of all, I just want to say I had so much fun in my labor and delivery room. Like, I had a freaking blast. The physician who delivered me, she was like the perfect doctor for us. Like, my husband loved her, I loved her. The vibe in that room was amazing. Like, so much joking around, so much laughter. Um, we had two different nurses during that time. Um, this there was a switch of shifts, and one of them was pregnant. Um, and so sweet. So she was great. Um, very like just a very chill vibe. And then the second one, she is like, I just love her.

SPEAKER_00 51:16

I she was like balls to the walls. Yeah. She's nuts.

SPEAKER_01 51:19

I love her so over me. And she like at one point, I think I was throwing up a lot. And she was like, you know, can do you want a piece of gum? And the physician was like, She can't have gum in case we go to the OR. The nurse was looks at the doctor and she's like, She's not going to the OR. So and then she looks at me and was like, I love you.

SPEAKER_00 51:43

Yes, here's your gum. And also, like, you can't spit out a piece of gum before covering it.

SPEAKER_03 51:51

Like, come on.

SPEAKER_01 51:52

Right. But and then the physician like wanted me to have apple juice, though. Remember that? Like, gum. Okay, so we have to talk about the apple juice because it's just funny as hell and made me laugh so hard.

SPEAKER_00 52:06

Um laughed her baby out because of the apple juice.

SPEAKER_01 52:10

Lacey, Lacey uh goes to get apple juice for me. So I I puked like a ton through once I was pushed. I it was once I was pushing, I think I started puking. And we like, you guys, they ran out of puke bags. They were having to go get them from other departments. Oh my gosh. Um, but so I think the physician was like, she needs apple juice, go get her apple juice. And so Lacey was like, Oh, go get it. And she she comes back, and I'm kind of like eyes closed, like in my little world. Um I think I can't even remember. Was it was it Danny? It was the nurse then when this happened. I think it was. So she's like, that's not apple juice, that's applesauce.

SPEAKER_00 53:04

Mind you, I've poked the straw in the top of it, right? Because at other hospitals, the juices come in those little plastic cups, and in the fridge on the like shelves, there was no apple juice. It was only orange juice, and you're not going to give that acidity to somebody who's throwing up, right? I look on the door and there's the little like the plastic cup container. It looks like apple juice, right? It says apple, like rather apple sauce. Run out and I stab the straw right in through the thing. You, I think, were the one who was like, is that apple juice?

SPEAKER_01 53:39

See, I was ripping enough. And then so I don't, I didn't actually see it. I knew that like I had heard the commentary, and I knew that you had brought back applesauce and not apple juice. And I, in the midst of this, I'm like switching positions. You have me, you know, changing positions. And I think I got on all fours, and this is like a half hour later, and uh there's like I see the little cup sitting on the bedside table, and I was like, wait, you even put a straw in it? Like I just lost it. I'm like on all fours pushing, and I just lost it laughing because there was I didn't know that there was a straw in it, too. I just thought it was so funny. But like there, what like what I I don't know what other labor what happens in other labor and delivery rooms, but I will say I was so surprised at like how much laughter and fun we I like. I had fun until the last two hours.

SPEAKER_00 54:40

That that's a testament to you and your mindset and your attitude and your personality and your resilience, and right, like all coming back to that's a testament to you, right?

SPEAKER_01 54:50

Because you was also like I feel like I had the dream team though, too. Like I feel like I it was just there was just a vibe, like everybody was vibing. It was just it was great, and and like I don't, I just I was so surprised at how much I laughed in there and just like yeah, really, really enjoyed myself. And even there was um somebody on a rotation, she was in like PA school. Remember her? She asked if she could stay, and I was like, Yeah, sure, that's fine. And then she walked out, and I was like, I turned to my husband and I was like, I'm I'm sorry, I didn't ask you if that's okay with you too. Like, is it okay if she stays? And he's like, Yeah, I don't care. But I she walked out and I was like, Shit, I should probably make sure my husband's okay with that.

SPEAKER_00 55:40

So his experience too, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:43

And she was like totally in it too. She was holding my leg and she she stayed. Like, I think her shift was over at 11. I delivered at 11:48, or her shift was over at 7. I delivered at 11:48. She was there for two weeks and hadn't seen a vaginal birth yet, and she was like so invested. And remember at the end, she came over and she was like, My like baby fever is really intense now. And I was like, Oh god, like after seeing me push for seven hours, you have baby fever.

SPEAKER_00 56:17

Yeah, spoiler alert, she pushed for seven hours. You were so cute with her. You were like, This is gonna be your first vaginal birth, and mine too.

SPEAKER_01 56:30

We I also have this memory at one point. I was like, I was feeling a lot of like gratitude that like all these women were around me helping me, and I don't know like where I was in the process, but I remember looking up at all of you and being like, I just feel so much love for all of you, and I feel so grateful for all of you. And I think you guys all just like laughed at me, but I did. I like felt this like deep gratitude for all of these women that were like holding my leg and helping me push, and it was just a really cool experience.

SPEAKER_00 57:06

Um, and and you know, I think that that it comes from so we tell people all the time, and unless you live it, you can't know, but like it's not about what happens in your birth, it's not about the interventions that are employed, right? It is about you feeling like you understand the options, that you are in charge, that like you maintain your identity, your agency, your autonomy, right? When you feel empowered, not that it doesn't matter, but I think that you can have a really blissful, beautiful birth experience and have that release of oxytocin and that pure joy, even though you utilize almost every intervention that they have available to you, right?

SPEAKER_01 57:56

Yeah, well, and that's the thing, it's like I feel like this could have been a really traumatic experience for me, and it wasn't like I feel like it was hard, but like I had a really beautiful experience, you know, and I am really grateful for the experience. Also, oh, if I do this again, like I'm like, I want the same exact team. How do I get the same exact people in the same place again? Right. Um, but yeah, so ultimately I pushed for a long time. I think he was coming down sideways. Um, and so I think some of it was that. And you can probably fill in a little bit better, Lacy, but I I also my understanding was like the Pitocin still wasn't really working the way that it should have.

SPEAKER_00 58:46

The the doctor had said she had seen, I think, four postpartum hemorrhages that week. Yes, and she felt like the Pitocin was not working the way that it was supposed to, to the point that she was going to uh file a quality assurance complaint because she felt like there was it was a bad batch that was mixed in.

SPEAKER_01 59:09

And she did. She did. I saw her for my six-week appointment a couple weeks ago, and I asked her about it, and she said, Yeah, she said the Pitocin's been much better since I uh had that conversation.

SPEAKER_00 59:20

No kidding.

SPEAKER_01 59:21

Once in a while, it happens that you know it just seems like their batch of Pitocin isn't great.

SPEAKER_00 59:29

Wow, and you know, and and that's something to like how many people have a quote unquote failed induction because of bad pit, yeah, right? And then they go in for a C-section thinking their body is broken, right? But it was actually right, it was the medication, yeah. Wow, interesting, and yeah, was yours at least sometimes things run together for me. Was yours the the one where she was like, forget it, we're not waiting for contractions, you're pushing this baby out on your own.

SPEAKER_01 59:59

I think so. I think so. After I remember at like five, I think around five hours, she said, you know, at four or five hours, I usually offer the vacuum. And she explained to me that the vacuum, if it came off, like she would do it, she would try three times. If it came off his head, three, if it like slipped off, I guess, three times it was straight to the OR. And I don't think I even responded, I just got quiet, didn't say anything. Because in my mind, I was like, okay, this is hard. And I was like, I was going back and forth in my mind, and I was like, okay, maybe C section wouldn't be that bad now, like after having pushed for so long. Um, and there was also a point, I guess when she came in, like I had been pushing for a while, and she came in and she says, All right, it's time to push like a construction worker with a wheelbarrow. Like I hadn't been pushing well before. And I I remember, Lacey, you looked at me, and she she also made a comment, like, yeah, those pushes before weren't effective or something.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:04

You weren't you weren't pushing hard enough, like you weren't giving it your all, is what she implied.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:09

Right. And all three of us, you me, and the L D nurse, we all looked at each other and we just had this understanding, and it was like, okay, it doesn't need to be addressed. Well not even worse correctly pushing.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:24

And you were pushing well, it was just slow because your contractions were spaced out, like they weren't in what you keep referring to, right? This active labor pattern, which is that they want for you know, for for you to dilate up to 10 centimeters, they want your contractions at least three minutes apart. And towards the end, when you're like eight to ten centimeters, you know, they try to get it like two to three minutes apart, especially when you're pushing, they want the contractions two to three minutes apart. But yours, if I recall correctly, were like six to ten minutes apart.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:00

But were they the whole time, or was that towards the end?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:04

So is she the one that I said it was like a Benjamin Button cover? Yes, where it was no, she's not, she's not. Uh your contractions were I think that they were just spaced out. The we had two of you guys. We had two of you guys that had very similar yeah, was it? I can't remember.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:24

Yes, it was, it was different, different situation, but yeah, she was also dilated for like 10 hours, yeah. Right. Yeah, it's that one. So similar in the time frame from like fully complete to baby being born. It was a very an extended amount of time and something we don't typically see. Yeah, yeah, right.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:44

Because like normally, you know, if you guys had texted, like, hey, we're you know, 10 centimeters dilated, like we're like, Oh, oh my god, right. Like, I literally flew like a bat out of hell because it happened. Seven, yes. I was so proud of you in like having an ob who as endearing as she is, was not the she's so awesome.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:18

She says what's on her mind though, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:21

And and she was misinterpreting a bit your effort, right? This like idea of maternal effort wasn't there. You were giving it your all for hours and hours and hours and hours, and you know, and I think that the reason that she gave you the time was because you were only pushing like 10 times an hour, yeah, versus like a mom with contractions that are two or three minutes apart is gonna push like 20 to 30 times in an hour. And so I guess for her, it was like, okay, this risk is mitigated by the limited amount of pushes. Yeah. Um, but I thought it was really impressive that she didn't take protocol and make that the only option. Yes. Yes, that I I have to give her so much credit for thinking outside of her protocol. But then also for you to be like, you know, okay, like I can I can take this way out that she's offering me, uh, or I can just keep going. And and you just like there was this, it was a moment that I saw in your face where you just locked in with resolve and you were like, I'm gonna do it. Like I I am doing it this way, and and then you did.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:39

You know, there was a point. What can I cuss on here? Yeah, there was a point when my my internal mantra when I pushed was get the fuck out. Yeah. I just I was sit up and God, I mean, we tried different positions, Christian's pushing me up, Lacy's pulling me up with the sheet, like we did so many different things. And I just got to the point where I was like, my mantra was get the fuck out. And I there was one point where I remember I started tearing up and I was like, I don't, I don't know if I can do it. And you and Christian jumped in and who were like, you can do this, you will do this. Like you both got my ear separately and my good ear. And uh we shared the one good ear. And um, yeah, I mean, you guys uh uh like it was just I felt so supported. And then the other thing I think that um I totally just lost my train of thought. One of the other things that and I think this was towards the end, but like all these other nurses that I had met throughout my time there had also come into the room and were cheering me on and I just remember feeling so supported, and people were like, like literally cheering me on, like just yelling. And we must have had a noisy room, right? Because you guys were like, you were loud. And I mean, that was incredible. I think that there was a nursery too that wasn't even assigned to my room that came in for the end of the delivery. Just like I they had been assigned to us at a different time throughout our four days there. And like I was so touched by that.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:30

It was really, it was just really sweet. Um, and that is not normal. Like, there's there's often a lot of people in the room, right? Like, there's the nurse that's assigned to you, there's a nurse for charting, there's a nurse for the baby, right? There's usually an extra set of hands here or there. Uh, but you literally had like five extra nurses in the room who just had heard about you or wanted to be a part of it for you. It was so beautiful. Like that, it actually like made my heart really, really happy to see all those people there.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:07

It was such a cool experience. This is kind of morbid, but I told Christian a couple days later, I was like, when I go out of the world, when I die, I want that same kind of vibe, right? Everybody there cheering me on, right? Like, but seriously, it was just so special that like I just had this incredible team and I just I felt a lot of love. I will say the what the what the one other thing I wanted to say is like because I had been pushing so long, and I think his head was pretty misshapen, and you guys just kept telling me one more big push, one more big push, right? And after hearing that for an hour, I was like, they are fucking lying to me. Like I literally thought in my head, I was like, they're lying. It is not one more push, they're just telling me that to keep like I got like I had this story in my head about how you were all lying to me. And what I know now is like it looked like it would be one more. And I remember you taking a picture of like him crowning and bringing it over, and you're like, look, there's your baby's head, right? Um, but yeah, I I really thought you guys were lying. I tried pushing in the mirror. It was actually hard for me to, I think, because uh it was just hard to tell if I was making progress. And then the physician kind of kept getting in the way too, and then I couldn't see anyway, and I was like, forget the mirror, just forget. But um, I I really I got to the point where I thought you guys were lying.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:36

I I remembered that I I said to you, I know we've been telling you this for a long time, yeah. We really are so close, right? Because it's easy to feel like you're because you can't see the progress, right? You can't necessarily and you can't feel the baby, you know. Like I didn't have an epidural and I couldn't feel the babies when they were moving. Like some people can some people can feel it. I I could not, but you don't know because you're not seeing the progress that's being made with every single push. And it's very easy to get into a headspace of like, oh my god, I made it this far. And now, like now that it's just not gonna ever happen.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:18

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And my epidural was very effective. In fact, one of my legs like I was completely dead. I like couldn't move it at all, if you remember. Um, and so I definitely I was not feeling anything. Um, but then you know, I I remember pushing his head out, and I you can feel it, right? That I could feel, and it's like instant relief, and then it's like one more big push, and I felt his body slip out, instant relief, and I just like laid back and I was like, I fucking did it. And then they put this baby on your chest, and like nothing else matters, right? Like nothing else matters. Um, yeah, I mean, and then I remember the physician like start because I had been on pitosum for so long. She started like the hemorrhage medications. I don't know if I even actually hemorrhaged or if she was doing it as like a she was doing it prophylactically because you know, uh they're just humans, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:18

Like, and uh it's traumatizing to manage a postpartum hemorrhage, right? Like it's scary for them, and she knows the pit doesn't work, and so she did she wanted to stay ahead of, and I think that the practice in general kind of has that approach of like I'd rather stay ahead of it because Dr. M said the same thing in a different birth. She was bleeding, she was bleeding from a tear, remember? And he was like, Oh, I gave you all this medication, I didn't mean to, but better better to be on the safe side. I mean, I had had 11 doses of penicillin.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:53

What's what's another wait, which one is it? The cervodil.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:57

They do the cervadil rectally, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:00

And they do oh sorry, they do cytate rectally. What's another site attack?

SPEAKER_00 1:11:05

Right, what's one more? Yeah, uh, they do the iron metrogen TXA. Yeah, they'll do TXA if they need to. I can't remember if they gave you all of them, but I think she ordered all of them.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:18

Um yeah, and and then I like I didn't even know I had torn, and I remember someone I heard stitches, and I was like, oh, did I tear? And uh, we had a funny conversation about tearing. Oh my god, yes, share it.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:36

Yeah, yeah, when Abby says so funny.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:42

All right, so the nurse that I love that's hysterical, she uh calls fourth degree tears vegass holes.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:51

Which is a perfect, like that's a perfect visual for people of what happens when you experience a fourth degree. Yes. He's like, we're not having that today.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:01

And I remember I said, uh, oh, I tore and I'm like holding the baby. And she's like, yeah, but don't worry, it's not a vagaz hole. And I was like, I don't have a vajazzhole. I'm good. Oh my god. So good. So yeah, I mean, I don't know. I like it's it's kind of cathartic to like tell my birth story. It's like it's you know, processing and but I just feel like it was so special. And like I don't think I realize how the I think on the spectrum, like, you know, it was kind of a hard couple of days, you know, and usually I don't know if usually things move faster. Definitely pushing, I think, moves faster. But like I didn't have the easiest induction or pushing, and but like I do not feel traumatized by that experience, you know. Like I feel like my care was so good. I feel like people mostly respected what I requested. And uh, one other thing I wanted to share too, um, was the male doctor that had been on twice that weekend. So, you know, we got moved over to maternity and he called me in the morning and he wasn't working, like he wasn't even on at the hospital. And he called and he was like, I am so excited that you got your vaginal birth. And he said, I kept waiting to hear that you had to go to the OR. And he's like, I'm so glad. He said, you know, in a lot of other places in this country, I don't think you would have gotten your vaginal birth. I think you would have been sent to the OR. And, you know, I said to him, I was like, I'm so grateful. Like, because he could have called it a failed induction at you know, one failed round of pitocin, right? And he didn't, right? And then this, the other physician, the female physician, she let me push for seven hours, right? Like both of them. I really feel like because of both of them, I got my vaginal birth. But anyway, he called me, you know, like basically tell me I was a badass. And it was so I was so touched by that. I just thought that was really sweet. And but like that's the kind of care that I got the whole time. Like just like special people, you know. Um, so yeah, I I think that's my birth story. I mean, at least from my perspective, my hazy perspective.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:29

Yeah, it's funny, you know, like they say that you'll never forget the day that you give birth to your child, right? That it you could lose all of your memories with dementia and you will always remember birthing your children. Uh but I think that our brain does a really good job of washing it enough that we will consider doing it again because you know, the species requires us to procreate. And um, you know, we we consciously remembered every detail, it would be very difficult to talk anybody into doing it at the same time, which I know I am guilty of trying to encourage you to have another one immediately after birth.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:11

Literally as I'm getting stitched up. You all were talking about me having a second one. I almost like screw you all.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:20

I don't usually do that, but it it might have been just you're right, your birth was a vibe, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:15:28

And like if we could replicate that with everybody, everybody deserves, I think, to have fun in their labor and delivery room and laugh, and I don't know. I mean, that was that was at least that was a perfect experience for me, right? Like that was what I think I needed. I I felt like I was very like not married, but somewhat modest when I went to the hospital on Thursday. That all went out the window. I'm like, you know, on all fours, like laughing about the applesauce. And like I don't know. I just I was so comfortable too. And I I think that that was part of it too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:09

Our goal in doing this is not to save women from interventions, right? Like Alex and I, we don't we really don't care what you do in your birth, right? Like our job is to present options and your job is to make it your birth. And you know, I think like when I set out to do this work, it was about helping women not feel abused, right? I've seen and heard and you know, I I think that you were a huge example of the power of bullet work because you could you could have like quit 24 hours or 36 or 48 hours in, right? Like you could have given up and called a c-section at any time too, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:16:59

And I I didn't even really think about that. Yeah, like I didn't even really consider that. I considered a c-section the last two hours of pushe. Yeah, in my brain, I was like, all right, c section doesn't sound terrible right now, but I didn't do it, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:17:18

Yeah, thank you. Thank you for trusting us for inviting us into your birth experience and for coming on and sharing your story with all of us. And you are a badass.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:33

Oh, thanks. I I mean, I feel like I just had so many badass women in that room, and and I'm so grateful for the two of you like just preparing me for this experience. I mean, I don't know if you remember our first conversation, but I was pretty fearful about birth, about childbirth, and just like, ooh. And I feel like I got to process some of that with you guys throughout the months leading up to my birth. And then I don't know, once I was in it, it was like, okay, this is what we're doing. This is so neat. And I felt like I had all the support that I needed. And I I think that that really also led to the outcome that I had and the experience that I had.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:10

Mindset is everything. We try to tell people that it's it's all in your head, right? And a beautiful positive part is in your head, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:24

Yeah, that makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:26

We're so proud of you.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:27

Yeah. Oh, thanks, guys. I could not have done it without you all. You could have, you could have. I don't know. I would have been mad. I would have been like, day two, I'm mad that this baby isn't here, right? Yep.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:40

But if you go in expecting four or five days and then it's two days, cool. You're like, yes, if it's four or five days, you're like, okay, I I'm making progress, right? And that I think is so important is you gave it the time so that you could see that there was progress. And then once you started progressing, it was like each time there was a little bit more, a little bit more, a little bit more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Thank you again.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:10

We're so thanks for having me. Thanks for having me come on here too. This was like uh just a good experience for me, too. You know, it's there is something like kind of healing and cathartic about sharing your birth story.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:23

Keep sharing it, yeah, keep sharing it. We're supposed to, right? And I I think sometimes women who have positive birth stories don't share it. Yes, they don't want to hurt the feelings of the people who didn't have a positive birth experience. The more that we share it, and especially I was so excited that you said yes, because not everybody says yes to coming on, but I was so excited that you did because to your own words, it could have been traumatic, right? Yeah, but it wasn't, and hearing like you didn't want any interventions, and then you had all the interventions, and you still had a positive experience.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:04

Yeah, yeah. And I think that that was having dual those. I think the practice that I go to is exceptional. I think the hospital that I delivered at has amazing LD nurses, like they really helped with the experience that I had too.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:25

Yeah. Amazing. Good. Thank you so much. Yeah. Okay, thanks guys. Yeah. Thanks for getting unhinged with us today. We hope this conversation challenged you, validated you, or made you laugh out loud. Birth and parenting aren't meant to be perfect or polished, and neither are we.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:41

If you love this episode, share it with someone who needs real and raw truths. Leave us a review and make sure you're subscribed so you don't miss what we're unraveling next.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:49

We're Alex Shaw and Lacey Morgan reminding you that your voice matters, your experience is valid, and you're allowed to do this your own way. Until next time, stay unhinged.