17. Enjoying Ease by Surrendering the Control to God: Even in Times of Adversity

The spiritual gift of wisdom to make decisions without trying to control the outcome has become one of my favorite gifts. Being open to new opportunities, relationships and experiences. As I allow God the control, my life is unfolding in the most interesting way. I see things so differently and enjoy the ease I am experiencing by surrendering and allowing alignment, even in adversity.

Who do you spend the most time with? Do they inspire you, help you grow and respect you with clear communication? When we think someone can handle it, this is a natural mutual part of a healthy relationship. This can be you asking for what you need. Your expectations with your spouse or children or in your business with clients or staff.

If you have experienced a recent trauma, your weekly schedule might surprise other people that have no idea what is happening behind the scenes. Things can appear different than the hard reality, however we can choose to focus on gratitude and not to complain or share the details. I practice gratitude before my feet even hit the floor in the morning. 

In this episode, I share a fictional story from a tv series of a character the lives a life of ease in most areas, however she faces adversity when a past trauma comes back to haunt her. She chooses to trust, even when those around her didn't have faith in her.

Imagine the possibilities when we follow the nudge. The support of those that are on the other side can make the journey so much more enjoyable. Imagine not wasting time because you have the framework and don't have to figure it all out yourself?

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Transcript

Sarah Swift 0:10

Welcome to the Integrative Mother Experience Podcast. I'm your host, Sarah Swift, wife for twenty-seven years and mother of three teenagers. I want to have conversations about why so many mamas wearing multiple hats, working, serving others, or owning a business, especially in the beauty industry, feel like they need to choose between their work and their family. We'll also uncover common causes of overwhelm, lack of wellbeing, and joy. I am here with over three decades of experience working in the beauty industry, owning several types of businesses starting in my twenties, and sharing stories to help other mothers avoid feeling that they're always missing out. Time is an asset we can't get back. I can't wait to dive into these deep conversations. I hope you will join me. Don't forget to check out my free checklist for joy and fulfillment on my website, theintegrativemotherexperience.com. Welcome back, beautiful mamas. Today's episode is going to be about ease. Ease even in adversity. Ease is something that I hear often people are desiring, and whether it's in relationships, communication, or in their businesses, it seems to be such a common desire I hear over and over again, but yet often we are making it hard and we're not accepting the ease that things really could be. And I really want to dive deeper into this because I think if we're desiring more ease in our life, having structure and a strong foundation to support that ease is really what I'm teaching in my course. This is part of the five elements that we work on to build this strong foundation. And when I talk about ease, I'm going to say being open to change is be one of the biggest things if you're not finding things being easy, and also new opportunities. If you're in your comfort zone all the time and you're afraid to try new things or afraid to have the hard conversations, afraid to even adapt to new habits, those are all things that are keeping things from really being easy. Because if you're feeling that resistance and that pull and that maybe lack, lack of creativity, lack of joy, like something is just a little unsettling, or maybe you're even just rushing all the time, it's still an unsettling feeling. It's not a life of ease. You're just going at a faster pace, but not necessarily more fulfilling in that realm. So also being ease would include being open to new relationships, creating new experiences in the present moment. It's fine to think about the things of the past that we really enjoy and the good memories that we have. I think that's wonderful, and we cherish those memories, right? But being in ease- Is also releasing and letting go of the things that are not allowing us to move forward. So that may be healing that needs to happen and a new mindset. Maybe you are stuck in a pattern. Maybe it was even something that wasn't yours to begin with, and you adapted it from the surroundings that you're in. They say that we are the sum of the five people we spend the most time with, and if a lot of people are spending a lot of their time in a work environment or in any environment really, it could be a school environment, it could be a living environment where the people, that are closest to them and around them are repeating patterns of negativity and really not living to their full potential of being kind and living in integrity, then we do absorb some of this, and it is still our free will and our choice to take it on, but it becomes much harder. So I think when we're desiring this life of ease, it's just something to be aware of because when you have the choice of where you're going to spend your time and who you're going to spend it with, it's just something to consider. I love just thinking about the gifts of the Holy Spirit, which is what my course is built on. And today I'm gonna talk about the gift of wisdom, which is the gift that I talk about in one of my course modules. And what the gift of wisdom, as I see it, is it's helping us make decisions and it's trusting. It's trusting that it's coming from a source much bigger and deeper than you. And for me, the source is God, that's the term that I like to use, and the spirit inside me, as in the Holy Spirit. And just being open to the fact that the outcome may surprise you because if you're putting your full trust that the wisdom is going to come from God as the source, then you're not responsible for creating the outcome with your control. You're giving up your control, you're surrendering it, and you're taking the next best steps to make the good decisions that you want to make to move forward in areas of your life, to choose ease and joy. Even when circumstances around you might not be what you want them to be. And it does make it to the point where you are setting standards. So now what you're doing is you're creating and you're prioritizing, and you're learning from what didn't feel aligned. You're noticing that, and you're noticing what no longer worked. And that can be in tasks that you do, it can be in relationships, business, personal, or family. It can be in so many different areas of your life. And one of the areas would be, and this is a whole different episode, but communication and what you prefer. And it is your responsibility to make sure that the people that you're communicating with know your preference. If it's in a business situation, you get to choose the preference because you are the business owner, and that sets the standard, and that builds a solid foundation, and it creates a lot less chaos for everybody. And unfortunately, not everybody's going to respect that, and you will have to have policies in place, and if people still can't abide by those policies, and they still don't communicate well, then as much as you may love those people as human beings, they are just not a fit for your business anymore, and you can give them several chances. And honestly, after that, it's not fair to you and to the rest of your business clients, coworkers, employees, whatever it may be, because everybody's business is going to be just a little bit different. But you do have to figure out what is going to be the best communication preference and really stick to it. When it comes to personal relationships, you're dealing with family and friends and just outside circles, maybe it's your school or your religious group. Because when we have good communication and we're not withholding important information, and you're doing what you are saying that you're going to do, then you're saying that you're open to have communication with others and that you trust that things can be handled. And when you're not doing that, you're basically saying that you don't think the other person could handle it. Or maybe you're trying to punish them, which is really an unconscious pattern, you know, purposely not communicating with somebody or holding back something or saying one thing and then just completely turning around and doing another thing or maybe even just complaining to others about that person or that business, but not giving them the chance to rectify the situation first, that's not handling the situation with integrity. And I want to share an example that I just thought was really valid. It's a really silly show that I sometimes indulge in when I'm by myself, just mindful I don't have to attend to anything and I'm just gonna watch this show. Um, so in the show, again, it's fictional and it's really humorous, so keep that in mind when I'm explaining the story. But it's about a family that is extremely wealthy, so they have this big dynasty of businesses and extreme wealth, and there's lots of drama in the show on purpose, a lot of humor, which I love. And I have always enjoyed fashion, so I, I'll be honest, I really like to, to watch the fashion, um, especially of the women in the show. Um, but the character in the show, she was... How do I say this? She's a very smart character. She is the daughter of the now second man to run this business because he inherited all the wealth from his father, and her mother is basically not typically around. There's a lot of dysfunction. But she's very smart. She is a smart businesswoman, and she's trying to prove herself a lot. And her struggle is that because she is smart and she notices things, and her father in this show, who runs this dynasty, so to speak, is really concerned about superficial things and maybe not always acknowledging her, or pretty much almost always not acknowledging her for the beautiful human being and daughter that, she is as a character in the show. So in this episode, they bring up something tragic that happened. She has a brother that, stay with me now, this is a fictional show, but he comes back into their family after being gone for many years. I believe he was abducted. And he's very strange, to say the least, and he's kind of always up to kinda sneaky things. So he's kind of trying to do things to derail her on a regular basis. So he brings up this dead body in the lake of this family dynasty, and it turns out it was a childhood friend of hers that she didn't even know what happened. She just knew that her friend disappeared. Well, long story short, apparently there had been an accident, and she didn't know this, but the family had covered it up, and she was buried in this lake or pond, and now the body was dredged up. And, so her dad goes to prison for it, and she's just feeling terrible. This was her childhood friend, and she hadn't really known, the full story of what happened. And so she decides that she's going to just own her part. She's going to own her part 100%. She didn't purposely do anything. She was young at the time. And it's just such a perfect example, I think, of who she is now, who she's trying to be, and she's atoning for something that wasn't even fully hers. Like, she was there, but she wasn't part of the cover-up and part of all those decisions that the adults in her life made. But here nor there, she felt really bad because this girl's family is now, you know, just feeling awful all over again, now finding out, what happened to her, and, there's some blame there. And she decides she's just going to turn herself in and not hire the lawyer, and her family just keeps saying, "Why would you do that? Like, that's not in your character. Why don't you just hire the lawyer? You're not going to want to you know, go to prison." And she's like, "No, I'm, I'm doing this, and I'm going to accept what they give me," which was community service. They decided to use her as an example, and she did the work. And it was dirty work, and she did it. It was actually, turning around some garden space, and she dug her hands in, and she did the work, and then still someone tried to sabotage her. So they were, like, wrecking her work so that the person in charge to sign off, couldn't do so, and then she was limited for time. And to sum up the story, because it just, it, it really does have a good, I think, relatability to it of who she is now and what she's trying to do, that, her dad finally gives her this compliment that, "I'm so proud of you. I never thought you were actually going to do the work." And that was enough to make her go back in again with this really late deadline in the middle of the night to get it done because she was already proud of herself. She already did the work, and then somebody tried to sabotage her work, which happened to be actually one of her friend's family members. And she just was so focused on, "No, I'm not giving up. This is what I'm doing." And she believed in herself even when no one else believed in her. And I think that the moral of that is with the right mentality, we can just watch what God can begin to do in our lives. You may not understand everything that happens, but if you allow God to be in control, it really starts on the inside. This is where we build the foundation. And this is where if we're giving gratitude back and we're letting go of outdated stories and limitations and negative labeling, then we know that with God all things are possible. And we can move forward making things easier, receiving things, enjoying the moments, really living in what's happening now. Another thing that I was reading about this morning and similar again is in Samuel 30, chapter six, David didn't sit around before he became the king of Israel. Him and his men came back and they found their houses and their possessions stolen, their families were kidnapped. And God supernaturally helped them recover everything. And so we don't always have to make it hard, but we do have to give trust. And that's where the ease comes in, is just giving up that control and knowing that there's something beyond us. We just have to be the light that shines. And I hope that if you learn anything from this episode of ease even in adversity, that typically there's always somebody or a situation where you can look at where it's harder than whatever you're dealing with. And even if you have the most difficult situation, there's something that you can always give gratitude for and there's something that you can focus on that might just make it a little bit easier. And maybe living in this mindset that it doesn't have to be hard and when we release and we let go, we are able to receive more in. Have a blessed day. Thank you so much for joining me today. If you found this episode helpful, please follow or subscribe to the Integrative Mother Experience on Spotify, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen so you're notified about the new episodes coming up. Please also take the time to leave me a review. This really does help me. I would love to see your beautiful faces. If you want to take a screenshot of this episode, I would love it. Tag me on Instagram or Facebook at timewithsarahswift, so then I can re-share your post. You can also start today by grabbing my free checklist and check out some of my favorite things on my website, theintegrativemotherexperience.com. Until next time, my beautiful mamas, thank you so much.