21. Moms Balancing vs Integration for more Quality Time: 5 Part Transformation Series

The big question mom's are asking is how to gain more quality time. Balancing it all isn't the answer. We discuss a different option, integrating.

Positive disintegration as a bridge. Eliminating or noticing using the word "should" with your children, rather than showing them by example. Deciding which relationships you want to nurture will help you direct your attention where you want it.

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Transcript

Sarah Swift 0:10

Welcome to the Integrative Mother Experience Podcast. I'm your host, Sarah Swift, wife of 28 years and mother of three teenagers. I want to have conversations about why so many mamas wearing multiple hats, working and serving others, or owning a business, especially in the beauty industry, feel like they don't have enough time and that they need to choose between their work and their family. We'll also uncover causes of overwhelm, lack of wellbeing, and joy. I am here with over three decades of experience working in the beauty industry, owning several types of businesses starting in my early 20s, and sharing stories along with solutions to help other mothers avoid the feeling of always missing out. Time is an asset that we can't get back. I can't wait to dive into these deep conversations. I hope you will join me. Welcome back, beautiful mamas. Today is part three of our five-part transformation series. Today's subject is going to be about integration. I will go into why this word is so important to me and why it's actually included in the name of my podcast and the name of my business and course experience, The Integrative Mother Experience. So let's dive in. We're going to start with just explaining what does the word integrate even mean. So it's a combination of two or more parts to form a unified working whole. So how I look at this is we're not choosing. When you're combining two or more parts, it's, for example, what I speak to in my podcast and in my course experience, is not choosing work versus family, being able to integrate them both into your life so that you're not feeling like you're missing out, you're not constantly overwhelmed. If these are both things that are in your life, not feeling the tug-of-war between the two of them or disassociation between one when you're having a role in the other, but integrating because it is part of your life if you're choosing to have a family and you're a mom. And also if you are choosing to have a career or working, likely serving others if you're listening to this podcast, that you have a lot of responsibilities and so you don't have to completely shut off one part of your life when you're in that role. You can integrate the two. So integrating all the parts, and that means all the parts of you, meaning your strength and your flaws, and we all have both. I think a lot of times human nature, I see it behind the chair as a stylist when I'm talking to somebody about how they want their hair done, is they focus often on their flaws and what they don't like about themselves. And so I try to really turn that around to focus more on what I see as the strengths that we can really focus on and maybe highlight. Beautiful eyes, beautiful shaped jaw, you know, whatever it may be. So integrating positive things into your life could be things like relaxation, allowing more fun, and just being more spontaneous. So I'm guessing if you're a new mom and you've been used to either serving people and or you have a staff or renters in your salon or in the career that you have chosen, that you probably have to hold a pretty high standard. And having a little bit of fun throughout the day, finding time to laugh and just enjoy little moments can make every day so much more fun and enjoyable. And I think that's so important. It's, very important to be professional, of course, and we want to serve those that need us when we're there to do so, but it doesn't mean that we have to shut off that part of us that makes us unique and makes us who we are. I think if people are allowed to see that, we're going to attract more aligned people into our lives, period. And I think it's also really important for our children to see us as human beings and to see that what we say matches what we do. And this is just such a big one, because children are very smart, just like we're smart as adults. And when people say one thing and they model another or they repeatedly do something that goes against what they say, we notice it, and that just doesn't hold true. So that's where I'm going to start. But I also want to talk a little bit about the holiday weekend that we just came off of, and how integrating in special seasons during times of rest when we still have responsibilities. So for me, I do laundry every day. There's never a day I'm not doing laundry, and that means multiple loads, and I integrate that into wherever I'm going for the day. So sometimes I'm working from home in my office. Oftentimes even when I'm doing that, I am running one of my two children either to a practice or some kind of appointment, and that's a big part of my life in this season. But I'm still integrating my roles for the day, and I'm finding I'm more productive than when I feel like I have to do everything and then I can take a breath, and then maybe I can relax. That narrative just doesn't work for me, and integrating things into my day in a way that feels like I'm being productive works better. So on this holiday weekend, I forgot to add a vacation reminder to my salon business, and I, I just think it's so beautiful because the kind of requests that I get in the way that I am niched now, it's very intentional and specific. And I had such a beautiful reminder from a new guest that wanted to see me that I hadn't responded right away, and it was done in the most kind way possible, and I forgot to add that vacation reminder to my email. So that was on me, and I did respond right away when I did see the reminder coming back from the holiday weekend. But we did have a wonderful weekend, and I did take time away. And this year, unlike many, many years, my husband and I chose not to host We just weren't feeling it. We have something coming up in about a month where we're going to be hosting, and we just needed some time to reset, relax, and not be on a schedule. Both of us have been doing some traveling lately. I took a work trip with my daughters this year. So it was an invite-only salon owners work trip to San Antonio in May, and both of my teenage daughters came along, and they were able to reset from their school year and everything that they have going on. And it was the perfect timing because they were both a bit stressed at that point, and they were able to relax in the sun with a good book, enjoy each other, and then have nice, wonderful dinners with me later when I was done. And then my boys, they were able to go on a wonderful fishing trip recently. So we divided and conquered our trips, and our dog Nora was taken care of, so that worked out really well. And me and the girls are going to be leaving again soon at the end of the month to go to a family wedding. So lots of integration of fun and travel this year And we also were celebrating birthdays. So my husband and one of my daughters are the Cancer sign. My husband's birthday is the end of June, and my daughter's is the beginning of July. And I think it's so interesting because I know I talked about in the beginning of my podcast, the Capricorn season, one of the first episodes I did, I dove into that. And the Cancer's season and energy is different, and I love it because they tend to be more sensitive. They definitely feel the energy in the room and tend to create safe, nurturing environments for others. So the crab is actually the sign for this because of the hard shell and the soft, vulnerable inside. And I think that's just so neat. I, I love seeing the different personalities in my family members and just understanding how we can integrate all the differences that we bring to the table. And my husband and I, for sure, from day one, have been so different. But it's really interesting because I'm an earth sign, and how I'm wired and how I work best is really complementary to his sign. And he creates that, that safety feeling. And I actually was doing, in one of my communities that I'm involved in, they had an experience, and it was called the Holy Squeeze. And it was so interesting because I've been feeling this lately, very much so. Some things have been coming up for me, and I've been kinda wondering why. And when I got this training and it came along with a really beautifully illustrated worksheet, I was like, "Oh my gosh, this just makes so much sense." I've been just questioning, like, why have some of these things been, coming up right now? And it's, it's the season that we're in. So, I will get into that a little bit more later as it relates, but, I guess what I wanted to say is that when you feel different energy from different people, it doesn't always necessarily mean that it's a bad thing. It just means that we are different, and it brings variety, and it can really complement each other. So if we're not always focusing on the negatives of why someone's different than us and judging them, we can actually integrate the positive effects of people being different and what that brings to the table in a good way. So an example I'm going to share is growing up, we would speed to church. So we would go to church most often on Sundays, sometimes Saturdays, but it was this pattern of people getting up at different times, not really communicating with each other, and then it was like pack in the car and race to church. And I remember going so fast, it was actually very scary at times because there were curves in the road, and my dad would be driving, and I would think, "Oh my gosh, are we even going to make it?" And oh, it's just, it's so interesting to me now when I'm an adult and I'm looking back at the experiences that we had, and, you know, the intention was good of course, but the lack of communication in those situations, it, there was no structure. So last minute was a norm in our house, and it was pretty much you're on your own. Everybody was on their own, and it wasn't communicating, and it wasn't helping each other. It was just like, "Okay, now it's time to go. Pack in. We're going to be late." And that sense of urgency never felt good, and it's interesting because my husband, he grew up in a situation where everybody was early, like extremely early, and that was the expectation. So it, it didn't seem to matter about how they were showing up when they were there. It just mattered that they were early. And, I found that really interesting because it was like, hurry up and get there, and then wait. But almost like an expectation or a competition of who can get there the earliest. And that's so deeply wired in him. And so here you have me, who grew up without that structure and that very last minute, like, "Okay, now it's go time," and him of "I just need to get there early." And then to be completely transparent, oftentimes he completely forgets to bring what he needs to bring to places. When our children were little, he still will even forget to just simply ask, Does anybody have money for the church collection?" Or, "Does everybody have a jacket?" Or whatever it may be, because it's really just the focus is, let's get there early. And so why I'm bringing this up is not to criticize anybody, because I believe that we're all doing the best that we can in the time that we're doing it, and we all can make choices to change, and it's an example I'm just sharing. And I'm sharing it because I think if we think about the quality of the time and not just the end result, the experience could be so different. So in the aspect of adults and parents, if we choose to be grounded first, and then we lead by example, we could ask for help. We could ask if those around us need help. Say you are someone that tends to be really early, or you can get ready earlier than others. being grounded and just asking if anybody else around you that maybe struggles in that area could use some help. And maybe then slowing down and not racing to get to the end result. Maybe if you're going on a road trip, maybe it's taking a few more bathroom breaks or having a snack. We used to race four and a half to five hours up to our hunting cabin land, and I never enjoyed the journey. It was not until our children were born and I started saying, you know, I don't even want to go if it's going to be just such a push to get there and we can't even stop along the way. It just doesn't feel good. And then we did, and that worked much better, especially with toddlers getting out and just getting some of their energy out and using the restroom, all of those things. So it's just enjoying the journey and creating that quality time experience. I think also it's just interesting if you think about as busy moms, and maybe you're a young mom and you're just starting this journey, and you're trying to figure out how to get to the babysitter or daycare with your children before you get to work. Now your time in the morning is much different because you're not just getting ready yourself and getting out the door. You might have those drop-offs and you might have those tantrums. Maybe your kids are still young enough where you have to do everything for them. And it's added layers. It's not just what you need to do. And so you feel like you've put in this entire full day before you even actually start your day. And then you're serving others all day long, whether that's your staff or, you know, you're serving others, behind the chair or in your service-based industry. So again, just thinking about how you can create that integration so that it feels better, it feels more quality. And I do speak to this morning routine start of the day. I will be doing a workshop on this coming up very soon. So if you're not already in my community, you're going to want to do so. You can follow me on Instagram and I will message you and invite you, or even better, you can go to my website and sign up because that's where you'll get the information. But it's really about starting that day intentionally and how that really setting the intention for the day can make everything that precedes it just so much better. What I notice about moms is moms do tend to take it all on. I think that dads often think of one thing at a time. And I think the capacity to do this is potentially just in their makeup. But I also think the enabling of moms that just do it, they just take it on because they feel that maybe it's just easier if they do it. It doesn't actually help the dads step up and help them out. It doesn't help if you do everything for your children and you don't allow them to learn how to do things either as they get to the ages where they can start doing some things by themselves. So you're also helping yourself out by doing that. I think making lists for dads is really helpful, and having a whiteboard by the door. Text reminders, that really helps in our family because a whiteboard unfortunately doesn't always get looked at like it should, and so text reminders really do help. I recently created a family calendar, and I'm getting a little bit of pushback on that, so to be continued. But I'm I'm always looking for ways to integrate more communication for more quality time. And I think that different ideas work for different families, and so you can try different things and see what works for you. I know that even allowing grandparents to step up and to communicate with their grandchildren instead of going through you as the mom, that takes off, one more responsibility for you, which for me, that happened organically. I just had so much on my plate. I wasn't actually sending sports schedules to my mom, and she just stepped up. And it actually-- it was a beautiful thing because she developed this relationship with my kids where she was sending them funny things and asking them directly for their schedules. And prior to that, I had noticed a few conversations where it was brought up in front of me where her and my mother-in-law had mentioned about not getting schedules and things like that, and even comments, from my mother-in-law about, you know, the kids reaching out or stopping in. And I think that's all a beautiful thing, I really do. And I think it's important, but I think that it has to come from both. And allowing that to happen between the grandchildren and the grandparents is really beautiful. And I love the end result of it because what ended up happening now is they do communicate, and that creates a reciprocal relationship which feels better for everybody, and it doesn't put me in the middle. So just something to consider if you're a mom that's really trying to do so many things, but you can take some of that pressure off by allowing others to step up. So for me, quality time, it just means asking some questions and really stating, "I'm here for this, and I'm not available for this," and saying what I prefer. And it's okay. You can respect yourself, and you can allow others to see it because again, we're not all wired the same. And I really had for so long lived in the narrative of personalities around me that would always show what their desires were and what they preferred, and it wouldn't be reciprocated. I wasn't asked about my experiences. I wasn't asked about what I preferred, and I noticed it, and I let it go on for so long, and now it's to the point where I think it was surprising to some people when I started saying, You know what? I just don't actually feel like having company. I just don't want to entertain. I don't want to do certain things. I'm going to pass." And it's not personal. It just means that is my preference, and I want that quality time when I'm having it, to be felt. So when we respect ourself, we also allow others to see it. You should be excited about your life, and you don't have to be pulled in different directions. It takes away the focus from what you're actually trying to do or experience. That's why boundaries are the first thing that I guide and teach to in my Experience Guided course. I love this from one of my, mentors. Cathy Heller says, Micromanage outcomes interrupts integration." And I think that's just so true. So the micromanaging outcomes, people thinking that you should do, and I'm even noticing as I say the word should, it feels a certain way in my body. I think I was shoulded so much in my lifetime that I'm really conscious now when I'm talking to my own children that it's a word that I do not like to use, and I intentionally choose not to. It probably slips out here and there, but I can tell you it is intentionally a word that I don't like to use with my children. It gives a narrative, and it's a negative narrative for me because having had examples where people were shoulding but they weren't doing what they were saying, it was something that I noticed at a very young age and continue to notice as an adult. So I think giving others a chance and believe them when they repeatedly act different than what they say or the Christian life that they claim to live. And this is just something that I think doesn't even need to be spoken. It's just noticed. And there are situations, and I've had conversations with people really close to me that have had similar experiences with people that were shoulding others and not living it out and not seeing the ramifications of that, I guess would be the way that I would describe it. So integration is embracing all of it and not just speaking it. What is the intention? For me, I want to leave a legacy behind. And if you ask yourself, do you honor yourself in a wise way or are you self-absorbed? And I think human nature is to be self-absorbed at times. It's just when we're actually conscious and intentional of not doing that, and that takes foundational work that most people aren't intentionally doing. And that's why I think that we can give others grace. But when it's repeated over and over, and you had to flip a hard situation, and you would ask, "How would you take the advice?" Would you take wise advice or would you overshare to those who just want to know something to know something, but their intentions aren't feeling aligned with you and you're just doing it to please? That's the one you may need to pause. That's really when we need to ask these questions that the deep wise woman within us would want you to ask. Not the younger self, but the wise woman that you are now. And if you're not that wise woman that I'm speaking to, then this is where we can work together because this is what I want for all of you. And can you watch from knowledge with wisdom of the actual facts of the situation and not just emotional reactivity? I think this is something that I learned over and over in my life, but specifically in the two major traumas that I've had in the last few years, there was a situation in both instances, interestingly enough, and I'm looking at it from a different angle now because living through a really traumatic situation and then having people act really unconscious during that time was... It was like salt, to the injury. It was insult to the injury. Salt in the wound, I guess is the term. And it's just interesting, I guess, when you look at it after it's all over and you've gone through it, and you think about the integration of faith, words, and actions. And that's why I really focused on wisdom as my word last year. Because when I came up against this situation again, where I was going through another trauma and my focus needed to be on the situation and the tasks at hand in front of me, and there were unconscious things happening by people that I would have hoped would be supportive and, you know, looking back, not surprising because there was patterns there. But here nor there, what I'm realizing is that we don't have to hold space for everyone, and especially those that don't reciprocate. And I've asked myself, "Why do I always have to be the bigger person?" And I've really paused on this a lot, and what I came up with is, well, what would Jesus do? And that really was what I needed to hear because then I wasn't going to be a victim, and I wasn't going to continue to be angry, and I could go back to my focus because what would Jesus do? I believe Jesus would honor what was in front of him. What was the task at hand? What did he need to focus on? And he wouldn't be cruel to those around him, but he would also honor what he was there to do, and I do believe that I've done that. And I notice that if I don't, it takes me off my path, and it derails me from my purpose, and I'm at a place where I just don't want to choose that anymore. These are the facts, period, and not everybody always knows the facts. Well, in this situation, I did, and maybe I was one of the few people that did, but I had to stay focused on what was in front of me, and I think that there is a lot of intentions that are guilt and, personal reasons that have nothing to do with caring for the people going through the trauma when these things come up and I look back, and that's where the forgiveness comes in, and I've really had to work through that. And I've had a lot of that come back up again, and it's just really interesting because if you take the emotion out, and you're not swayed, and it just is what it is, then it's much easier to understand It's like hearing someone say, "You should..." It's like they don't even own a mirror in their own home, and I think that people that haven't gone through traumas don't understand. And while I can empathize with that, I also think that there should be a pause, and there's that word again, should. I'll choose a different word. I think that when you are approaching somebody that's going through a trauma, holding space without your own intentions is what's felt as compassion and support. And when you feel like you're giving it to other people when you're actually going through it, which was my experience, and in both scenarios, I did nothing to contribute to the cause. And it, it was just so interesting because there really was a lot of things that weren't said, and there was reasons why they weren't. And I think about it now, and I think maybe that was the biggest blessing. Because maybe if I was able to speak more, which is my nature, but it wasn't something that could happen in the situation for the best intentions of what was going on. Then I'm not sure what I would have actually said because I know how I felt, and I felt very unsupported, and I felt extremely angry, and I had to deal with that anger in different ways because I needed to focus on what I needed to do to help the situation. And it's like they don't do it to themselves, but they expect others to do different. And they want to know something that you can't share, and they wouldn't share it themselves in the same situation. And that is just so interesting when you look at it from a different angle. I I just realized that in these situations it's been a pattern, and it's likely not going to change, and it's not my job to change it. It's my job to do the best that I can, be the example for my children, and to be the best wife and mother that I can be, and that is my path. And with that being said, I want to say that I have deeply worked on all of these things and thought I was completely on the other side. And with the cancer energy right now, it's so interesting because we did this experience in my group, and my mentor was leading us, and it was several steps, but it started with, the heat of what's activating you and just that it's showing you data. And so I recently just kinda had to go through this again because I couldn't understand why I was feeling irritation again. And then the shell that you built around you to feel safe, and it once helped you, but now what happened with that trauma that created a crack, and that old identity is no longer working, so the truth gets in. And this really resonated with me because we can create new safety and new standards, and we can be that person that we want to be. And with that, we can be the example And then we can let more in. And that is what I'm here to do. I've worked very hard on my own transformation, and I'm on the other side, and so it's really interesting to me when some of this old stuff comes up, and I look back and I'm like, "I really did make wise choices, and I did the best that I could." And I even reached out to some of the people in the situations and gave them the opportunity to reciprocate and hold space for me. And if they chose not to, which in some cases did happen, repeatedly with some, then I just knew where I was at, and I was like, "Okay, that's just interesting information." It helps me to know where I'm at and to know who's in my inner circle and to know who isn't. And it's helpful because then I can move forward knowing what kind of relationships that I have and what kind of relationships that I want to build moving forward. And if it's gonna be a more casual relationship, then at this point, I'm fine with that because now I know, and I know I did everything on my end, and that feels really good. So it's interesting because a trigger isn't always something that you have to react to It's sometimes just showing you what's going on, and I think that's what I've really learned doing all the deep work, is that if things are not healed, then these triggers come up, and it's really showing me where work still possibly needs to be done. So moving on, I want to end our conversation with something called positive disintegration, and this is a word I've heard often, probably in the last two years or so. It was a word I really didn't understand, and in the book The Mountain Is You, which is a great book by the way, talked a little bit about something that I spoke to in my last episode about the water ducts and them getting clogged. Well, with positive disintegration as the example in her book, she talks about the process of a reset and, for example, if you actually just let it out, and I did. I recently had a really good cry, and it felt really good because I had a lot of built up anger, which was interesting for me because I typically don't deal with a lot of anger. I feel like I get it out pretty quickly as I'm feeling it, but it was bubbling up and I was like, "Where is this even coming from?" But then I did. I worked through it, and I had a really good cry, and my water ducts feel much more clean now. so that was one example, but interestingly enough, what I've learned is that the instinct driven integrate is the primary, and positive disintegration is actually the bridge that gets you to the secondary, which is the ultimate goal, and that is... It's when we must adapt ourselves to become someone who can handle, if not even thrive in a situation that we're in. So I referred to a few major traumas in my life recently. We all have probably experienced trauma. I'm guessing that most of you had, and if you haven't, you may at some point in your life, and then you'll understand this a little bit more. But not an inconvenience, but a major trauma when they happen, where we're at determines how we're going to be able to handle it. And the most recent trauma that I dealt with and am still dealing with, I was really impressed with the way that I handled it because of the work that I had done, and I'm really thankful for that. And that comes from the deeply held values rather than the pressure, so that's the difference also. And that's where my work has really been, is I took my values and held them as my standard when creating my new integrated work-family life. And I've been doing this for several years now, and this was my intentional choice based on my values. And it's not the rigid structures of society or family or people around me telling me what they would do or what I should do, what women should do, what mothers should do. It was my own values. And it was interesting because I came across the theory from a Polish psychologist, named, I hope I can say this correctly, but Kazimierz Dabrowski and Like I said, I've heard this term multiple times in the last few years, and when I looked into it a little bit deeper, I thought, "Wow, without even knowing the word or the meaning, this is actually what I've been working on. This is what I'm trying to help other mothers do themselves, and this is the legacy that I want. I want to make deep impact. I'm here to have a fulfilling life, to experience more joy." And it's interesting because why it's actually positive, it's about the journey. So in the situation where they break it down, it's saying that chaos is a necessary catalyst for growth. Well, that would hold true for me because there was massive chaos in both of the traumas, and especially the second trauma. The chaos that continued to happen and is still to some degree happening, wow, that was a catalyst for growth, and I'm glad that I was up to the task. And the process allows you to choose to get rid of the toxic habits or inherited biases. I thought that was so interesting, because people do have their own opinions, and we do get things from the people before us, and we don't have to hold that as ultimate truth. We do get to choose. And so if things were reversed, you can ask, are they going to feel that same intention for you? And what's behind these situations? You can evaluate your relationships and really decide which ones you want to continue to nurture and which ones that you may not want to nurture. If they don't hold space for me, I'm going to ask, Should I really be worried about making them comfortable?" And the answer is no. It's different from being polite and having empathy, but just feeling like you have to hold space for everybody and make everybody comfortable, isn't living your true aligned life, and I'm integrating in the best way that I know how, and the positive disintegration, I realize, is such an amazing bridge. I love that I came upon these terms and that I understand them and that I've actually worked through them without even fully understanding what they were. I've been having a lot of those aha moments lately because my course was so spirit-led and felt like it came out of nowhere. And as I've been reading and in different communities and groups over the last year, year and a half, a lot of things have come up that I had already built into my course, and I thought that was so interesting. I'm like, "That's already what I speak to," and I am just learning it from a different source now. But it already came to me spirit-led, and so I think that's awesome. And I think that we can all find our community and our people and the people that feel like good examples and guides to us, people that are leading by living the example, not shoulding, not talking about it, not preaching and judging. But actually they've gone through their own transformation, and they're living that life, and they're there to help people and guide when it's aligned and focusing on the right people and the right alignment and not trying to please everybody else. And what I noticed with this is I'm posting with more alignment on social media. I have never been one that's felt completely aligned to post often. But when I do post, I feel like it's very intentional. And I notice also that just the amount of appointments that I've had in my life and the amount of time spent in my vehicle and getting to destinations, I'm using that as a way to have quality time speaking with my children and having conversations that otherwise we may not actually have, and that's been a beautiful thing too. So to recap this episode, I hope that you will share it with somebody if you think that it might be helpful. And the best way to get the information coming out about my upcoming workshop is to follow me on Instagram. I am happy to reach out to you and send you more information. the other option is to actually just go to my website at theintegrativemotherexperience.com and sign up to be part of my private community, and then you will have everything sent directly to you, and you can start communicating within the private community. I would love to have you there. We do have a group that will be starting when the kids go back to school in fall. So if that sounds like something you'd be interested in, then I'd love to see your beautiful face and start communicating with you prior. And I hope you have a blessed day. Thank you so much for joining me today. If you found this episode helpful, please follow or subscribe to the Integrative Mother Experience on Spotify, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen so you're notified about the new episodes coming up. Please also take the time to leave me a review. This really does help me. I would love to see your beautiful faces. If you want to take a screenshot of this episode, I would love it. Tag me on Instagram or Facebook at timewithsarahswift, so then I can re-share your post. You can also start today by grabbing my free checklist and check out some of my favorite things on my website, theintegrativemotherexperience.com. Until next time, my beautiful mamas, thank you so much.