Little Change as Possible: Grief, Motherhood & Starting Over with Colleen Weise

In this episode Kaley sits down with Colleen Weise, founder of L’Histoire and widowed mother who kept a business and a family afloat while navigating unimaginable loss. Colleen opens up about what grief actually looks like when life doesn’t stop: parenting on adrenaline, protecting her girls from too much change at once, and what it meant to bet on herself in the middle of it all. She also gets into what launching something new looks like when you’re still in the thick of grief, and what dating again looked like as a widower, not a divorcée, but someone who lost a partner entirely.

Colleen Weise is the founder of L’Histoire, a curated resale business built on the belief that every woman has their own unique story and their wardrobe should reflect that. As a lifelong lover of fashion and stylist by nature, she built her business from the ground up while raising her daughters as a single mother after losing her husband to a sudden heart attack. Colleen’s story is one of resilience, reinvention, and choosing to always move forward with positivity. For her girls, and for herself.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:13

Hi, welcome back to Reality Renewed. Today we have on Colleen Weiss, mother of four, a businesswoman and owner of Listo Listoire? Listoire. Listoire, okay? I did alright. Yeah. Uh so happy to have you on the show. I just, you know, inspired by your story. Uh, we've got to know each other. I think I first time I met you was when I brought some items to consign. To consign with you and your amazing house, and I still remember your awesome dining room wallpaper.

SPEAKER_01 0:48

And you told me that you knew the previous owner.

SPEAKER_00 0:51

Yes, which is so crazy. I grew, I'm not kidding, I grew up with the previous owners. Like vibes. Yes, good vibes. Like I would go there when I was three or three or four. Irene, I she watches the podcast. Shout out to Irene. Uh Irene, she lives in your house. It's I love that house. It has such good vibes. We spent so much time there growing up. And so that was so fun to connect. Yeah. And then also bring some stuff to consign. And then I've even like purchased stuff from you because you have the most amazing items, but they go so fast. They do, they do. Shout out to my consigners. Yes, which is great because they go so fast and it's amazing. So it's like you have to be on it. But yeah, I wanted just to have you on because I think your story is so inspirational, kind of from taking tragedy and loss to obviously overcoming it. And as a mom of three and now four, and you know, starting this business, I just think and now growing it to what it is. I just I think it's very empowering and amazing. So I appreciate you coming on.

SPEAKER_01 1:54

Absolutely. Thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_00 1:55

So for those of people who don't know uh your story, do you want do you do mind sharing kind of your story?

SPEAKER_01 2:02

Yeah, absolutely. Um, I so on uh February 5th of 2022, my husband passed away from a heart attack very unexpectedly. He was actually driving home from tennis with friends. He was very healthy, there was really no warning signs. Um, and at the time my children were eight, seven, and three.

SPEAKER_00 2:25

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

Um, and so yeah, you know, it's just a complete in a million ways your life changes when something like that happens. And I think that there's a lot of obvious ways you think about grief. And, you know, there there may be obvious ways you think about kind of how adults experience grief, how children do, but if there's anything I've learned about grief through the process, it's that there's actually so little obvious about it, it's so incredibly individual. Um, and so yeah, it's been it's been an ongoing process for years.

SPEAKER_00 3:00

Absolutely. Well, I'm so sorry to hear about, I mean, this it's I I can't imagine having, you know, you have three little girls, I have three little girls, and I I can't imagine having, you know, kids that age. So um I'm so sorry that that you went through that. But uh would love to just talk to you about like how you know, becoming a single mom like that right away, what did you find were the biggest challenges to parenting right away? And then also like what did you find that really sort of worked? Sure.

SPEAKER_01 3:36

You know, I think when I think back to the first year, genuinely my memories are a bit hazy. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:44

I can't, yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_01 3:45

Yeah, I would I would kind of um relate it to so many, I'm sure of your view, you know, listeners have gone through the newborn stage when you are just like operating on like adrenaline, you're not sleeping, you're probably not eating it, you know, it's a lot like that. And that was a really extended period of time where I just I think that I made the best decision that I made was instinctually from like day one. I really think probably day one. I actually remember laying in my bed that night and kind of coming to grips with reality and making the decision that my kids came first, as little change as possible, we're gonna keep the next. I mean, my daughter went to a birthday party the next day that she was invited to.

SPEAKER_02 4:29

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 4:30

And you know, it it was like as little change as possible. Yeah. They're kids, right? Routine is how they thrive.

SPEAKER_02 4:35

Right.

SPEAKER_01 4:35

And so I really like I'm a big believer in mantras. And so I had this mantra of like as little change as possible because there's huge changes that are going to happen.

SPEAKER_02 4:43

Right.

SPEAKER_01 4:44

Um, I felt strongly that I wanted to keep them in their school, and there were a lot of people telling me that was the wrong decision because it's an expensive private school. And was I really going to be able to like maintain the cost of that? Three kids. Um, but that was incredibly important to me. Um, all of their activity is really just everything that I could kind of like keep them up in that was happening because we did move out of our home. Um, and that was really difficult for a lot of reasons. Um, there was obviously just gonna be big changes, and so I would say that, you know, you there's such a purpose in motherhood that every day you get up and you just keep doing it. And I know that that's not everyone's story. I think that there are people who struggle to keep going, but for me, fortunately, it was a blessing in a lot of ways that I had a lot riding on my shoulders because every day 6 30, like I had to be up, I had to be like combing hair and putting, you know, their backpacks together and making sure breakfast was ready and you just power through.

SPEAKER_00 5:52

You just you do what you have to do. Right. And I thought it was really interesting before we were recording, uh and I loved what you said about how everything kind of works out, everything kind of happens for a reason or sort of works out the way it's supposed to. Can you kind of share sort of the prior like to the six months prior and how this all kind of it really did work out in a way, you know?

SPEAKER_01 6:18

Yeah, I mean, I think that yeah, I I've I've said this a lot of time to people who are close to me, like I could not be convinced, no matter how much someone tried, out of the fact that everything happens for a reason. And I I look at just kind of like my life broadly, like from childhood on. Um, I've been through a lot of adversity in my life. And so I think that I was already set up to have to go through adversity and know that it takes strength to kind of persevere through that. But you know, we had been living in Manhattan, I loved it there. I was very sad to leave, but we had three kids, it was the pandemic, like we decided to temporarily relocate back to Minneapolis where we were both from. And um, it was not, you know, so long after that move that my husband passed away. And had we not relocated, I would have been stuck in Manhattan with no family. I would probably not have been able to maintain the like, I won't even say rent we were paying. And um, you know, I would have had to move back anyways, and that would have been so traumatic.

SPEAKER_00 7:23

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 7:23

Um, so we had already moved back close to family and friends, and my parents are extraordinary, and I do not deserve them, and they are just Of course you do. I mean, but they're wow, I'm I'm very fortunate. Um, and you know, we I had started so my husband was an entrepreneur and he had started a tech company, and I always kind of joke that he was my MBA. Like for 10 years, I watched him just he was a genius entrepreneur, like really just had incredible ideas, always kind of questioning, thinking how we can improve things. So at his recommendation, I started my own business. He was like, You love fashion, you're so passionate about resale, I try to buy very little new. Um, I care very much about quality and I care about the environment. And so he was like, just like start your own company. You're I moved to Minneapolis, I was so bored, I had no friends, there was nothing going on during COVID. Yeah, right. And so I built a website. He would not help me, even though he was in tech, because he said, When you have questions and you're gonna like ask me, I am not gonna want to help you. Sometimes I'm not gonna be there, whatever. You need to build your own website. Wow. Which is like I've I that I can't that's oh I know. Because it's he's right. Yeah. I would have had no, I I I mean, I I would have been at a complete loss if he had built it. But I built the website entirely myself. Amazing. I watched YouTube.

unknown 8:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:45

Um, I, you know, everything that I did related to my business was really um self-directive. I kind of came up with the concepts, I did all of that, and it really was a pet project at the time. Um, once he passed away, I had to make the decision. I had a lot, kind of like I was saying about the school decision. I had a lot of voices in my ear telling me this isn't a real job. A lot of men telling me this isn't a real job, this is cute, and like whatever, but you know, you need to go get a job. Like you need to think about, or you need to move to like a less expensive area, stay at home, whatever. Um, but not believing that it was a real job. And I chose to bet on myself. It's so fun when I could do a whole podcast on that.

SPEAKER_00 9:33

I was just because you proved them all wrong.

SPEAKER_01 9:36

Well, you know, and I and I and I love that for my children. Absolutely. More than anyone. But I, you know, I grew up with parents who really believed in me and supported me and always taught me to bet on myself. And Matthew, my husband who passed away, was like my ultimate cheerleader. My current husband now, we haven't mentioned yet, but we'll get into, and he's incredible. I'm so fortunate to have men in my life that are such cheerleaders of women, such believers in women. Um, so, anyways, I bet on myself and I like went all steam ahead and I worked a lot of late nights, and but I did it for my girls and I did it with my girls. And um, anyways, that's kind of that has now turned into a flexible job where I can be here, I can be volunteering at the kids' school, I can be there for orthodontic appointments, like I can do all the things and I can kill it in business. It doesn't have to be an either or.

SPEAKER_00 10:34

Right. I love that. I'm so proud of you, and I'm so proud of I love that like I'm betting on myself.

SPEAKER_01 10:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:41

And I think that's such an important piece because I think as women, uh, you know, whether you're going there, you know, when I was going through my divorce, or you know, you you lose your spouse, uh, or you're, you know, you've lost your job. I mean, there can be so many different transitions. Uh, you have to bet on yourself. And I remember with this podcast, people were like, Oh, like, you really want to you're gonna start a podcast? Like, why why? Like, you know, why are you doing that? And you should go like get a corporate job or go do this. Your kids are all in school now, and it's like, no, I I want to do this, and I have something to say, yeah, and I'm passionate about it. I'm and I'm gonna do it, and I'm doing it. So I think it's like if you can have that inner strength, we can do anything, we're amazing, and I think as moms too, like we get up every day and we do so many things. We wear, you know, five different hats. And so it's like ingrained in us that we can do hard things.

SPEAKER_01 11:43

It's so obvious to me that so many women are becoming entrepreneurs right now because to be a woman broadly, but definitely to be a mother, like you said, is to wear so many hats. I mean, so many hats all the time. We are carrying the emotional, the mental, like so much labor in our homes. I mean, I feel incredibly lucky to be in a very equitable partnership right now, but you know, it's just a reality that we are the ones who are like mentally scheduling the haircuts, the like dentist appointments. We're telling, you know, the school that they're gonna be late. We're like we're doing all these things. And we're also planning creative events, you know, we're just we're the marketing department, we are the like scheduling department, we're we're the culinary department, the unpaid Uber. Yeah, exactly. You know, so it's so obvious to me that so many women are becoming entrepreneurs, and I'm also just so proud of women. I think this is like a really exciting time for me.

SPEAKER_00 12:40

I agree. I I I'm here for it. Uh, so we talked about the uh you're building your business, which was amazing. How did you sort of balance, you know, parenting, obviously like the grief, and then launching something new? How did you sort of balance it? Because it's amazing how it has grown.

SPEAKER_01 13:03

Yeah, I appreciate that. You know, I think so. I'm really fortunate that I work within a community of women who are phenomenal. Like, I'm just gonna start and say that. So supportive, so wonderful. So I really I actually did I do live sales. So for anyone who's not familiar with my company, um, I am a luxury-based consignment company, but also primarily doing live sales. And the community who watches is always growing. But one thing that they tend to have in common is it's just wonderful women who are highly supportive. And so I actually did a live show two weeks after my husband passed. Was that your first one? No, I had done at that point, I think six. Okay. Because I had already kind of been sort of towing the water. At the time, I was doing them like every six weeks. Now I do four a week. Yes. So you know, it was it was slow building, but I did one two weeks after. And it was because to me, I knew, you know, when when like everything is bad, and I mean like everything's bad. Like you're just like, I'm depressed, I'm not eating, I'm exhausted, I don't know how to change a water filter. Like I don't know the passwords to a single account. Like I uh, you know, when everything is everything is difficult and it's a uphill battle, work felt fun. Like it felt really, really fun. You know, I got to play with fashion, I got to interact with empowering wonderful women. Um, and I got to feel proud of myself, where a lot of things I was doing were really hard. Children who are dealing with their own grief. Um, you know, like it was a lot of stuff that was really hard. So work actually, I don't want to say felt easy, but it felt really good and meaningful and sort of, and it was something that wasn't about death.

SPEAKER_00 14:46

Yes. You know, and so I that was in your daily, I mean, that was your in your daily life.

SPEAKER_01 14:52

That was my life, it was such a part of my life. And so it was something that wasn't it wasn't dark, it was always light. So I actually really kind of relished in the opportunity to be doing something different, and I really dove into it. Again, it's a flexible schedule, that's the blessing. So I was able to kind of work when I I mean I truly had I would do live shows, I would put the kids to bed and they would start at eight. And I sometimes would go until like 1 a.m. for the girls in California time zone for my international clients. I mean, like a psycho. Truly, like I'm so glad those days are over. But I, you know, I was doing it when I would make it work, and absolutely, and um, and it was kind of, you know, just like there was fun in that too, though.

SPEAKER_00 15:33

Well, it's like you're you're being a hustler. I love it. Like you're working hard. It's like, no, like I am gonna show my girls like when things get hard, we we pull put on our like our big girl pants and we do it. Totally. And I think that's such and I mean it's good for all kids, right? Like, I think that's how you raise confident and resilient kids is adversity is gonna happen to you, and if you can figure out how to get through it, you're gonna be so much better off. Absolutely. So I think I mean, obviously, you've done an amazing job with your girls, and then I'd love to kind of go into sort of this second chapter now. So, uh you've now gotten married, which I'm so happy for you. Thank you. And you have you have a little boy. I do, I have a baby beautiful. I know, I know.

SPEAKER_01 16:26

We should mention we we have three girls each. Yes. Um, and I'm so like he is just the yummiest, sweetest little baby in the world.

SPEAKER_00 16:34

Oh gosh, because how old is he now?

SPEAKER_01 16:35

He's eight months, and he's just like amazing. Truly.

SPEAKER_00 16:39

Girls just adore him.

SPEAKER_01 16:40

They really do, yeah. I feel so incredibly fortunate to say that it has just like been the truest blessing in life. Like, he is so wonderful. He's like really easy, which like hopefully that always continues. Um, and he's just the best.

SPEAKER_00 16:54

Oh my gosh. So I'd love to go back. How you know, how did that sort of look for you kind of dating again? Were you just were you kind of ready or yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:07

Um, you know, I think that everyone, so every widow, I mean, and and everyone um going through a divorce as well, of course. I think it's similar in both circumstances, but everyone has like their own trajectory of when things feel right. I think that from what I've gathered personally, I know quite a few widows who there's kind of two types, and that might be too narrow, but I think broadly there's two types. There's people who lost their spouse from like a prolonged battle with illness. And then there's people who lost them quickly. And I do feel like those are two, well, I don't feel those are two vastly different experiences. Sure. Um, and uh I there's pros and cons to both, obviously. And you know, the blessing I feel is that the last thing I ever said to Matthew was, have fun at tennis, I love you. You know, it I the la I mean the last time I saw him, he was perfectly healthy and smiling. I I don't have any, um, I don't I didn't have any trauma of kind of going through that like prolonged like sickness and and and that type of experience, which sounds excruciating to me. Um there's obviously like a different struggle in never being able to say goodbye, but um I think that played a part in I knew that one of my step, I sorry I also have two stepdaughters who are older, and I I was So it's Matt who makes the girls. He makes the girls, yeah. He has five girls. And one of my stepdaughters, she's so funny, she um she's in her early 20s, and she made a joke where she was like, if you had like if something had happened to you, like dad would have had a girlfriend so fast, like he can't do this on his own. Yeah, and you know, I think that I know I never worried that he would want me to be alone. Oh, yeah. Ever. And I knew that, you know, he would want me to find a father for our girls. He would want me to be happy. I mean, I was widowed, I was like 32, like so young.

SPEAKER_00 19:10

So young.

SPEAKER_01 19:10

Um, and so I I I um felt ready to be open to the experience of love again pretty quickly. And my ra my reason from kind of like really thinking about my own experience is that like I loved being married. I never got divorced, like I don't have the trauma of a you know, a marriage that kind of fell apart. Like, I loved being married every single day that I was married. I loved being a wife, and I found a lot of like purpose and um a lot of stability and just like happiness in that kind of relationship. And I really wanted a wonderful father for my children. And so I knew I just I didn't have any anxieties about kind of what others would think or what because people have opinions. Yeah, I'm sure. And he just or or you know, I like my core tenant was like I knew he would want me to find someone, and I deserve someone. Absolutely, and so um I would say your kids deserve someone too. And a hundred percent, yeah. And so about six months after he passed was when I really I felt a shift in myself that I was kind of like, okay, I feel like I would be ready. And then quite I I moved into a new house, and that was kind of this renewal. I was like, I have a new home, it wasn't the home I shared with him. It just sort of felt like this time that I was ready. And within quite literally the first week that I was home, my now husband texted me, and it was just kind of again like you can't make this stuff up, and it just kind of felt like I I mean I didn't know like at that time, obviously, anything, but how'd you meet her? Or like we so we knew each other. Um, we've known each other since middle school, but we were not friends. Um, we were not like sweethearts, we were not friends, like we knew each other. Um, but he was in New York at the same time I was in New York. Okay, he was working um on Wall Street there and or in finance in area, and I lived kind of in that area. I was in lower Manhattan, and so we had connected over the fact that we both were in New York and we had talked like a tiny bit, yeah, but like very briefly. It was kind of just like, oh, I see that you're you know two two kids from Apple Valley that are both like made it in the big city. Yeah, right, I love it. And we both had moved back through COVID because his job had become um didn't need to be in person anymore. Okay. So he moved back to kind of be closer to family also, and he just texted me, like, or you know, sent me a DM kind of out of the blue, like asking me, you know, how I was.

SPEAKER_00 21:51

No way.

SPEAKER_01 21:52

And yeah, and that that was the beginning, and kind of the immediate first conversation I had with him, I was like. Who is this guy? Um I just immediately was really I don't know, I just kind of had a thought in my head, like, who is this guy?

SPEAKER_00 22:09

Yeah. Huh. So yeah. That's amazing. And so how long have you guys been together now?

SPEAKER_01 22:15

Um, I mean, so I now it's like three and a half years, I guess. A little more. Um, yeah, you know, we we took it really slow. We had like walking dates around the lake. And I mean, it's really hard to date. Um, when, you know, the I mean, like, it's it's tough being a widow and dating because you don't have like weekends free. Right. You know, even when I had to move, I had to move with three kids. Like it's all terrible. And um, so you know, he is so remarkable because he was so incredibly patient with me and sat through me crying a lot, a lot. And um really just I think it's I think he's like one in a million that the the stuff that he had to, I shouldn't say had to, I there was just a lot happening in that first year.

SPEAKER_02 23:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:08

Um, kind of like in real-time processing through things, and he was just very patient and loving, and he's just a really remarkable person.

SPEAKER_00 23:17

Oh, I'm so happy to hear that.

SPEAKER_01 23:19

And you deserve that. Well, thank you. And he is just so incredibly, I I always sort of joke, but I also kind of mean it. Like he is like a better parent than I am. I mean, he is truly one of those people that you meet, and he was meant to be a father in every way. I mean, he is a remarkable parent.

SPEAKER_00 23:39

So, how long did it take for him to sort to get to know the kids or once how long did it take for you to introduce them?

SPEAKER_01 23:47

Probably six months. Okay. I think around six months. We introduced him. It's actually pretty cute and funny. We introduced him um, like around Christmas as a friend of mine.

SPEAKER_00 23:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 23:58

And it was like, okay, this is mom's friend, and he was I think he's really great at math, and I'm not. And so he was going to be my oldest daughter's like tutor, like math tutor.

SPEAKER_00 24:07

Oh, I love it.

SPEAKER_01 24:08

She even like told her teacher she had a new tutor. And then they were like emailing, and yeah, I mean, it was pretty funny. But, anyways, after a couple weeks, I think my middle daughter or my eldest daughter, one of them told him, like, mom has a crush on you. Like, I'm like pretty sure mom has a crush on you. Like, do you realize? So cute. So cute. And I think it was soon after that that we were like, okay, we're just gonna tell them like cats out of the bag. Yeah. Um, and it was really sweet. We were talking somewhat recently, and he shared with me that he was like, you know, from really like our first walking date, I had mentally already decided that I was ready to parent those children if it went down that road. Because you can't, and that's I think said so much about him, because you can't go into being in a relationship with someone who has three children, any amount of children, um, in particular ones who have been traumatized, and not go into it with the full intention that this is gonna lead where it would lead.

SPEAKER_00 25:11

Right, especially because they they don't have a father. Totally.

SPEAKER_01 25:14

And and that's something that is so when you know, when he and when they met, it was really sweet because as children are so individually themselves, you know, I had one daughter who like immediately um wanted to kind of start calling him dad, like pretty early on. I don't remember exactly how early, but like pretty early on. Um I then relatively soon after another followed. And then my daughter who's more sensitive, I it it took her a while. And you know, she was just like Was she the oldest? She's not, um and it it took her a while to kind of just feel it out and make sure it was for real. Um and I think it's just very sweet. It's like just like adults, children grieve in extraordinarily different ways. And um, and it now they all just have the and now I would say that she probably has the strongest relationship with him.

SPEAKER_00 26:14

Oh I think actually, like for sure.

SPEAKER_01 26:17

Um and uh yeah, it's just been really beautiful watching their hearts open up to him. But I think that one of the key differences is they don't have a father, right? It's not like you know, when you have parents with divorce, you know, okay, you so now you have a stepdad. Um he's their father entirely.

SPEAKER_00 26:38

That's so beautiful. I mean, that's I'm so happy and thrilled for you that excuse me, that you found someone who sounds just like an amazing, amazing person. Thank you. And so did you guys so you you got married re quite recently, right? We got married last summer. Yes. That's so exciting. And then did you guys know you wanted to have another kid?

SPEAKER_01 27:03

Yeah, I mean, yeah, you know, we talked about it a bit, and I think, you know, he said that he was okay if we didn't, I mean, three kids is already a lot. Yeah. Um, and you know, I'm not getting any younger, but um I, you know, I I wanted very much, I first of all I love babies and I love kids, so you know, it wasn't like a super hard sell. Yeah, but um I wanted him to be able to experience just the joy of like all of it. You know, I think that what I sometimes take for granted and I try to remind myself is that you know, it's a lot to parent um once they're a little bit more challenging, right? Like you know. Um nothing hits like an 11-year-old with attitude. You know, my gosh, yeah. Tweens. I know. I know you have so this stuff, I'm just like And to not have been there when they were tiny and like squishy, you know, and changing their diapers. It's it's a lot to jump in. Um, you know, he did meet them when they were quite young and you know, we're years in now, but I wanted, you know, he deserves to, if he's gonna take on all that, especially, um, you know, he deserves to experience like the full experience. And um, so I I think we kind of always knew that we were going to, even though we discussed it for a bit.

SPEAKER_00 28:22

But yes. And then you got the boy.

SPEAKER_01 28:24

I know, but I'm so so glad that we did, and he's so wonderful.

SPEAKER_00 28:28

Oh my gosh. How is that parenting experience? Has it felt different than parenting your daughters? I mean, obviously, you're with a different person.

SPEAKER_01 28:38

Totally, yeah. No, it's a great question. Um, yeah, it it is different. Um, I uh I have reflected quite a bit on kind of how I actively try to not to remind myself that the way I do things is not the way of doing things. That's my way of doing things because my way of doing things was like a collaborative decision with another person. I think that if there's one thing being a single parent made me, and I I'm wondering if that's your experience as well, but I used to be uh, I have to remind myself to be more collaborative now because I spent even spending, you know, the I mean, I feel fortunate I was not a true signal mother for such a long time. Um, but you know, I had a couple years of it being like me all the time making all the rules. Right. And it really kind of shifts the way you think about things. It's like, well, I think that you get a lot of decision fatigue being a single parent. It's like sometimes you want to be able to like have someone else do it, or you want to be able to have a collaborative thing, but you don't have it. You have to be like at the end of the day, the one like setting all the boundaries, deciding what's for dinner, all of that. Um, so I've had to kind of relearn that, like, okay, this is collaborative. Just because that's the way I'm used to doesn't mean it's the way that's right. Um, because he does have different ideas on certain things, and I want to honor that and be like open to new ways of doing things. So it has been a nice like learning experience to kind of like remind myself of that early time of like being collaborative, figuring out how to be parents. Right.

SPEAKER_00 30:16

Absolutely. And I and I totally can relate to that because you know, they obviously they go between my house and my ex's house, and it's still like he may have different rules at his house than I do at my house, and sure, and vice versa. And, you know, that doesn't mean they're wrong, you know, but it it is a little bit of that, like, when they come back here, and I'm like, well, that's not what we do here, or I'm sure the same thing happens at the hit at you know, my ex's house too. Uh, and so I do still have to tell myself, like, okay, when they're here, they're here, but also like I do, we we and we try and do a good job of kind of communicating, like, hey, what are like the ground rules? Totally, what are just sort of like the non-negotiables? Let's just have that kind of at both house. Yeah. Screen time's gonna get a little wonky, sure. Showers, you know, get a little, you know, the showery. But let's just kind of we we agree on these sort of the basic things, but uh to your point about like decision fatigue, I totally feel that I'm not a good cook. I don't cook. I my kids will even say, like, I tried to make pancakes the other day, and Penny, my youngest, who's five, who's just the sweetest little girl you've ever met. I mean, just so kind, was like, Mom, I'm so sorry if this tastes like burnt rubber. And I'm like, first of all, how could I make a pancake with chocolate chips taste like burnt rubber? Second of all, how do you know what burnt rubber tastes like? Third of all, like, how do you know that saying? Anyways, the whole thing. So I was like, I don't even know what I why why I try, but I do feel like sometimes at the end of the day, like I'm just like, just like what what do you guys want for dinner? Like, can you just tell me every night, every night, like and then no matter what you do, it's not good. No, it's like, no, and then I'm like, can you just tell? And even just like with uh certain things, I'm just like, you just you get like almost burned out by the end of the day. And even you know, when they're at their dad's house, I feel like like with my partner now, I'm like, can you just decide like our day? Like, just decide like what we're doing today and what we're gonna eat, and because I just it's almost like you're get to a point you're like, I just don't care.

SPEAKER_01 32:34

Yeah, no, like I said, decision fatigue is real, it definitely is. Yes, I I definitely do feel a relief in being like I said, I I had this realization I was telling my friends the other day that I'm trying to be, um, I think one of the blessings of going through uh really challenging things or or just really like yeah, really difficult periods of life is that you have the perspective of being able to kind of identify when things are better. Um, and I'm trying to be very, very present in the moment or in all the moments of my life and really acknowledging when things are good. And I feel like I'm in this space right now where, you know, we've been together for years. Um, what I really wanted, I remember kind of laying in bed alone and thinking, I don't want to date, I don't want to get to know someone, I don't want to have to like do all of that. I I I think, yeah, I didn't want to have to do all of the like courtship, and it just felt like a lot of work that I didn't have time for. And I just wanted to be laying in bed next to someone who I loved, like in the kitchen, laughing with them, giving them a hug, just like the life stuff. Right. Normal, right? No one like there's there's nothing happening. There's it's just like the calm, like normal, like bedrock of a relationship. And I feel just this like enormous amount of peace that I really feel like I'm there in life, and that is like the ultimate that I wanted to get to. And life just is such an enormous, like up and down. Um you're just in this like ocean of waves, and I think even if you're not going through something major, like kids can be a lot. I mean, you go through periods where like, oh, you broke your arm, and now you can't do basketball, and like now every you know, we can't do this, and school's not going well, and you're being bullied, and like so much so much happening, and we have so much ahead of us, like with teenage years, and I'm scared. I know, right? And I think that it's just so useful to be able to recognize when you're in those moments where it's calm. Absolutely because there's gonna be a wave coming, it might be a small one or a big one, but there's always a wave coming, and so I think to be able to be present and really identify those moments of calm, you can like save up some of that like energy to survive the moments that are more turbulent. I love that, I love that.

SPEAKER_00 35:09

That's like perfectly said, and a good reminder, I think, for everyone. Like when it's calm, those are the times to just enjoy.

SPEAKER_01 35:18

Try to just be aware of it. Yeah, I think so often we don't notice the calm because it's like, oh, well, this is baseline. Like why can't you know? Right, right, right. It's because it's not even anything special necessary, right? But there's always so much going on that it's like to be able to be in moments of calm, I think is especially when we have like young children or even older children. There's just a lot going on all the time.

SPEAKER_00 35:42

Or even like the other day, my kids while we're at school, just got to school, and I like hadn't finished my cup of coffee, and I'm like, I'm just gonna sit on the couch for 10 minutes and just drink my cup of coffee. Yeah, love it. And I was like, wow, that was like a great 10 minutes to myself. It's like even just trying to have like those little moments to yourself just to kind of like you know, have alone time, yeah. Um, I think is so important too. So amazing. Well, I would love you know, if you have any advice for others who are going through transitions, like what kind of would be your best advice for them?

SPEAKER_01 36:25

I mean, I think that if there's one thing that I've learned, and this is probably more specifically towards grief, but I think can be applied in a lot of ways. I've found that like my biggest realization is that I can move forward and I can hold simultaneously all the love in my heart that I had from a previous life. I can love Matthew, I can love that life, I can love every moment of that while still loving every bit of my present and how different that is, and because it is very different. I was a stay-at-home mom, um, and my life was just kind of a lot, like I there was a lot happening all the time. My life is it's quieter and calmer now. Um, and there's such a beauty in that, and I'm working and I find that so empowering in ways that I kind of couldn't have imagined before, while also holding so much excitement for all the things that I have no idea will happen in the future. And we just just really acknowledging that past, present, and future are these completely different things, and holding love and space for all of them, not judging anything from any of them. We all make mistakes, we've all gone through a lot in our past. Um I think just having the like care and compassion for yourself to be able to, I can love Matthew and I can so deeply love my current husband. And both of those things are allowed. Yes, and both of them are real, and my kids can do the same. They can have two fathers that they love so much. Um, it doesn't take away from either for that to exist. Um, and again, we have no idea what our futures hold either. So I think just knowing that transitions are a part of life to it's always I think it's scary if you are closed off to the idea. But if you try to remain open to it as just a fluid thing that we are just moving through life, it takes away the fear in it, and you can hopefully just kind of try to glide through it and accept things as they happen and know that you're gonna be taken care of and you're gonna make the right decisions based on intuition, and as women, there's nothing that we can't handle.

SPEAKER_00 38:55

I love that. That's such such good advice, seriously. Well, thanks. So, what's what's next for you now? Oh, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 39:04

Um, yeah, I think that the million-dollar question, right? Yeah, our um our business is growing so much, and it's kind of shocking and exciting to me. We um our team is constantly growing, we keep hiring more people.

SPEAKER_00 39:18

Oh great.

SPEAKER_01 39:19

And it's been really exciting. I never I remember when I started my business, my husband said, I mean, I I think I thought he was joking, but I don't think he was. But he said, once you hit two million in sales, I'll look at your website and then I'll like update it. And I was like, two million in sales, like I'm selling like some golden goose sneakers. Like, are you kidding me? And I mean, last year we did over three million. Amazing, and that's just one year. You know, it's it's been so incredible seeing how passion, where passion meets hard work um and meets a great team because I'm not doing it alone. I have really great people who work with me. Um, and I have incredible clients, you know, where all of those things collide, it's um it's really just astounding what we can do as women. Yeah. So yeah, I, you know, I am a mother to a boy now. I have four kids. Um, I'm married. I just I feel like I feel like I've already made it, but I'm really excited to see what my future holds.

SPEAKER_00 40:21

Yeah, well, I am excited too. I think it's gonna be all amazing things. So if people don't know about your company, uh tell them how they can how they can find you.

SPEAKER_01 40:31

Yeah. Um, you can find us on Instagram primarily at Shop Listoire. So that's gonna be shop underscore L H I S T O I R E. I love it. Um we can link it. Yes, we'll definitely link it. Yes. But um, which by the way, Listoire means the story. And the reason I created that, it's the French word, is because I am personally, I've always been really taken by the storytelling aspect of resale. So, like, this is a gorgeous piece. I wonder who wore it before me. I wonder what parties it went to. Yeah, I wonder what, or the story of you telling your friends, like, look at this Chanel scarf I got. I got it from Company. Have you heard of her company? Yes. Um, I think that as women, we're such storytellers and we love to tell story about our things. We're proud of like the deals that we got or the special pieces that we own. Yes. So I always love the story aspect of um of the business, but we have incredible consigners that are all over the world. Um, I have consigners from New York to Minnesota to Singapore. Um, and we're a we ship globally, and it's it's a really fun place. We probably have two to three hundred pieces moving in and out of our doors every week. Oh my gosh. That is so it's a lot of fun.

SPEAKER_00 41:43

That I cannot even imagine the treasures you get.

SPEAKER_01 41:46

There's some treasures, definitely.

SPEAKER_00 41:47

And if people want to consign with you, what is that do they do it through uh they message on Instagram or they do it through your website?

SPEAKER_01 41:54

In our Instagram, there is a link in the bio so they can email that and they'll get connected with my assistant who's fantastic. Um, otherwise, we do have a website that has the same information on it. Um, we do have a showroom in Minneapolis, which is in Loring Park, but we are online and so we are doing live shows three to four times a week, clothing. And that's all through Instagram. It's all through Instagram. Um and yeah, it's it's a very like fast-paced, very fun, very cool community. Very cool. And for the showroom, are people able to visit the showroom? Yeah, okay. Absolutely, yeah. We um we typically uh reserve like two days a week, normally Mondays and Tuesdays, when people can come in and do shopping. We love shopping parties, especially with like a group of women. We'll get some rose. Yeah, it's fun. We've got a plan one of those. We've had people come in for birthday parties with their girlfriends. I'm gonna plan one clean. That sounds so fun.

SPEAKER_00 42:51

We'll do it. So fun.

SPEAKER_01 42:52

Um, but yeah, it's it's a it's a cool space. And I've been there before, it's amazing. Yeah, and we have like, I mean, really like treasures. I recently had a client who had her essay at Saks ship me six boxes because they didn't fit her anymore. And it was so like it was never even worn. It was shipped from Saks. So, like, we are getting anywhere from like 1970s, like insane, cool pieces, you know, Celine, Chanel, whatever, to like items that have never even left us through. You know, these are brand new pieces, so um, it's a huge mix, whether you kind of whatever designer you prefer, um, or if you're someone who loves more vintage or contemporary, newer, we have it all. That's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 43:38

And so Monday and Tuesdays do you recommend people making appointments? Yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_01 43:44

We're not a store per se. Okay. We kind of have, you know, we our space functions um mostly for live sales. Okay so Monday and Tuesdays tend to be the day we don't actually have shows going on. So we have more time to kind of help people, let them shop around. Um we're Other days were like heads down trying to have for the show. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:03

Well, wonderful. Well, Colleen, thank you so much for coming on. I really, really appreciate you telling your story. And yeah, it's just it's really like I was saying, empowering and you know, amazing all the things that you've been able to do. So thanks so much for coming on. I know the listeners are gonna love it, and everyone go shop. I mean, I am and do these parties. I mean, what a great idea. Yeah, a girl's shopping party. Yeah, no, it's very what could what could possibly be. What could go wrong?

SPEAKER_01 44:35

Yeah, what could what could go wrong? Well, thank you so much for having me on. I really appreciate it. This was lovely. Yeah, thank you so much.