Chandler Weir: From Corporate Strategy to Creative CEO, Dating Checklists & Building a Life You Actually Want

In this episode, Kaley sits down with Minneapolis-based sales executive and creative entrepreneur Chandler Weir, and it gets real fast. They talk about what it actually looks like to straddle the corporate world and the creative one without losing yourself in either, how Chandler found her person after a lot of bumble dates and a very specific checklist, and what happens when the same strategy brain you use at work follows you into your love life. If you've ever felt like you had to choose between who you are and what looks good on paper, this one's for you!

Chandler Weir is a Minneapolis-based sales executive, content creator, and the Founder & CEO of Chandler Elaine Creative. With a foot firmly planted in both the corporate and creative worlds, Chandler refuses to give either up—because each makes her fundamentally better at the other. By blending her decade-long career driving strategy at Procter & Gamble with her firsthand experience navigating the creator economy, she acts as the ultimate bridge for her clients. Today, she partners with brands and businesses of all sizes to translate their creative vision into clear, actionable roadmaps, helping them build the diverse revenue streams they need to scale into enduring businesses!

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:13

Hi and welcome back to Reality Renewed. Today we have the wonderful Chandler we're on. I'm so so excited to have you on. I'm like when we first connected, I think it was like probably via Instagram, like everyone As always. As always. And then once we talked, I've been so excited about this episode because I love how you're a Midwestern girl, born and raised in Minnesota, like me. And I love how we've had like very different lives. But what has kind of both gotten us to this point where we're on this podcast. And so I was so excited to have you on because I think you're such a testament to women about you know, you can you can choose the life that you want without having to have all of this societal pressure uh against you. So I'm so thank you.

SPEAKER_01 1:06

I couldn't be more flattered. I I obviously work in the corporate world by day, but I have such respect for women-owned businesses, and so just getting to know you and like we were talking about before the show, even the amount of episodes that you've already done with just launching in January, like that's the hustle that I find so exciting. So I'm just really flattered. I know this is a baby of yours. And so thank you for letting me in.

SPEAKER_03 1:36

Well, absolutely. Do you feel like this is good? Are you good? Do you want this? There we go. Look at us. We're like pros. We're pros. We're ready. We have this figured out. We got this. So, for people that don't know you, what just tell us a little bit about yourself.

SPEAKER_01 1:51

Yeah, I I would say I'm a bit of a multi-hyphenate. Um by day, I which is so millennial coded, right? Like we're incapable of just doing one thing.

SPEAKER_03 2:02

Well, do you know what it do you know? I had a uh career coach on and she said, Your you put your portfolio jobs.

SPEAKER_01 2:08

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 2:09

Yes, portfolio career. You have a portfolio career.

SPEAKER_01 2:12

Absolutely. I I do struggle to like sit still, so I think that's part of it. Um, but I, like you said, born and raised in Minnesota, and when it came time for me to go to college, I was ready to go out. I thought I wanted to go super far, one of the coasts, ended up in St. Louis, Missouri, of all places. Great place. It honestly was so, so wonderful. It's the reason I ended up with the company that I'm at today, and my best girlfriends in my entire world, they all came through my college experience. So that was amazing. And I think that kind of started my path towards staying out of Minnesota, um, at least early in my career. And I ended up at PG, which I am still at today. It's gonna be 10 years this summer, which is amazing. It's crazy to me. I'm like, that's wild because I just graduated college. How does that math work, right? Exactly. So somehow it goes. It goes so fast. It really does. So that has been honestly, it's a core part of my identity. But really, when I started in my professional career, I also started dabbling in more creative spaces, which I've always described to people. I don't feel like I personally have innate creative talent, but I love being around those who do. And I do think I have this ability, possibly because of my corporate experience, to see a creative vision and really think about how you could scale this? How could you monetize this? How can you turn a passion into a paycheck? And so I've really just gravitated towards creative opportunities and creative people over the past 10 years, really to kind of complement my very structured corporate day job that I had. Um, so yeah, you you'll kind of find me in lots of different pockets around Minneapolis, a lot of the local fashion community. I used to lead the marketing and social media for Fashion Week Minnesota for a couple of years. So very special to be back in my hometown in such a different way than the way I grew up.

SPEAKER_03 4:27

Yes. Oh, that's so cool. That's amazing. I love that you wear a bunch of different hats. Yes. And I think as women, we we tend to because we don't want to just be stagnant. But I think that's amazing that you're able to still have this corporate career, but then still find yourself where you want to have that creative outlook. So that's amazing. Thank you. So now you're back here, and how long have you been moved back here for?

SPEAKER_01 4:50

It's funny, you know, PG values mobility. I work in our sales function, and they I think a long time ago, people used to refer to it as PG stands for pack and go. Because about every two years, they'll look at you and be like, hey, time for a new gig. Let's move you here, there. So I started my career in Charlotte, North Carolina. Okay. Didn't know anyone. I was assigned Charlotte kind of by happenstance. I accepted a full-time offer with the company after an internship my junior year, moved out there. And Charlotte's amazing though. Oh, it it was so fun. Like truly for like recent grads, it is one of the best places to be. Yes. And of course, it brought me my now fiance. So I'll forever be thankful for the city. Um, and as I was having my first career conversations, really to plan out where do I go next? Where do I go after Charlotte? And Minnesota was so not on the radar, right? I was like, send me to Boston, Chicago, Seattle, big city, anywhere. Yes. They're like, well, what about going home to Minneapolis? You would get to work on the Target business. Oh, yeah. You have a passion for beauty. Target is really the beacon of beauty in the industry that I work in. And I was like, well, my mom will be excited. Yeah. So sure, I guess. And it's just so ironic because I ended up back here not planning to be so early in my career. And shortly after I moved back, I was like, well, dang, I want to stay. Yeah. It was so, so nice to be home and back near family, unexpectedly so. And so I was able to do two assignments back to back here 2018 to 2022. That was really the era where I started getting super involved in the local fashion community here. That's great. Came time, it was quite an intersection of all right, you want to be home, you want to be in your family, but you also want a promotion, you want to continue accelerating your career. What's it gonna be? You can't necessarily have both at the same time. And I said, Okay, giddy up. I'm I want the promotion, I'm hungry for the work. And there was an opportunity for me to go do an internal headquarters assignment in our um skincare organization. So on Olay, which is my favorite brand that we have, and did that and did that long distance. So my now fiance actually stayed here. He ended up living with my parents for about a year while Okay, most is hurt. Oh this man, I think my parents love him more than me. Like, he is the most go with the flow. He's basically the opposite of everything I am.

SPEAKER_03 7:41

I mean, you kind of have to, right?

SPEAKER_01 7:42

Yes. When you are with someone who is like so intense and crazy all the time, he's like completely unbothered. And so he did. I was like, I don't know, we gotta sell the condo so I can buy a place in Cincinnati. I don't know what to do with you. You just need to keep working. Yes. So he stayed with my parents for a while while we figured out how long do we think this is gonna be our situation. Um, so he was a trooper, they fell in love with him even more than they already were, which was very special for me. And then the opportunity opened up for me to come back to Minnesota uh beginning of 2024. Amazing.

SPEAKER_03 8:20

And do you think you'll be able to, it's just something that you'll probably be able to stay in?

SPEAKER_01 8:24

Uh time is never a guarantee for me here, which is I think sometimes that's actually a helpful mindset because I try to soak it all in as much as I can. Um, and so probably two years is what I'm guessing. Okay. Um, I just started a new assignment at um PG that I'm very excited about. Oh and typically those assignments are about two to three years. So I well it keeps it fresh and exciting. It really keeps you on your toes for sure.

SPEAKER_03 8:53

Yes. Okay, so going back to because I loved when we chatted before this about um you and your now fiance's story. So you guys met and it's been 10 years.

SPEAKER_01 9:04

Yeah, it is it's so crazy to think about because the world has changed so much in 10 years, and so have we, of course. Um, I met him within my first three weeks of moving to Charlotte, North Carolina. So I graduate college, go on this epic girls' post-grad trip to do Asia all the things, yes, and then promptly moved myself to Charlotte, didn't know anybody, and this was right when dating apps outside of Tinder were starting to get traction right. Tinder was scary. I was like, no, we're not doing that. But bumble was starting to be a thing. Sure. So I was like, well, I don't know anyone, I don't know anything about this city. I might as well get to know it with a man buying me dinner. Yes, and that's how it's for. It'll be great. So I started going on tons of first dates. I was like, let's let's just do it, let's see what it's all about. And good for you to put yourself out there. I like look back and I'm like, hmm, that was wild. And it's good. That's when you have the good experiences. Totally. And it's like there's very little downside to doing a dinner with someone. Right. You're not getting married. Exactly. Exactly. So Banks and I happened to match on Bumble in my first couple of weeks of starting a full-time job, moving to a brand new city, and I and of course at that moment in time I was so not in a space where I was looking to date someone seriously. And he just kind of kept coming back into my world. We were seeing each other very casually and me being the type A I am. I was like, okay, pause. No, we we are getting to a point where it's gonna start getting too serious. And I don't want to be tied down to Charlotte because I know I gotta go. I don't know where, but I want to get a promotion. I want to go on to the next opportunity at work. And at the time he said, Yeah, well, I'll just come with you. I was like, You're a lunatic. No, you're not. That's crazy. What are you talking about? And it was uh it honestly, it was about a year of us seeing each other casually. The Charlotte social scene is very small. And that following summer, so summer of 2017, it was there was just this moment, and he he actually he texted me. I was doing a lot of travel for work. And he texted me and he was like, Hey, it looks like you're doing a lot of travel. I'm sure you're exhausted. I would love to pick you up from the airport. We can grab you your Chipotle. I love Chipotle. It's like my comfort food after, especially after a long trip. Yes. He was like, I'll just pick you up and we'll get Chipotle and we'll take you home. And it was during the same time where I had been talking to some other guys who I think on paper felt like, oh, this is who I'm supposed to be with. Older, um, more successful in their careers than I had been because they just had more time um in the working world. And I was like, oh, that's that's the kind of guy I should be with, right?

SPEAKER_03 12:16

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 12:16

And and I just had this like reckoning when I got that text from Banks being like, No, I don't need the guy who who owns the restaurant who's gonna fly me out. I need the guy who wants to be there to pick me up and make sure that I get home safe. Yes. So it was a very um, it was a very special moment that I really wasn't predicting. And at that point I was like, okay, you say that you're gonna move with me. Let's see it. Yes. And and he did, and here we are.

SPEAKER_03 12:51

Oh my god. Yeah, that is amazing. That's it's and I love that too, because you were what, 20?

SPEAKER_01 13:00

I was 22 years old when we met.

SPEAKER_03 13:02

Yes, and so it's so interesting because I was 22 when I met my ex-husband.

SPEAKER_01 13:08

We do have this crazy like parallel, like similarities and then so different.

SPEAKER_03 13:12

Yes, and I was 22, and I he was older than me, he was 30 at the time, and he had lived a lot of life. I mean, he had lived in Singapore, he had lived in you know, different places, he was pretty well established in his career, and I had just graduated from college and we were living in the same apartment building, and it just like I kind of was like, all right, well, we're just gonna, you know, go for this. Yes. Um, and not that I regret that decision at all, because I have, you know, three beautiful girls now. We co-parent great. Um, but it it was it's different, you know. I was talking to my girlfriend the other day. I'm like, I don't really like I didn't really have my 20s. Yeah, you know, at 25 I was married, and by 35, I was like divorced with three kids, you know. It sounds dire in some ways, but I feel I like to think now like I'm living kind of as tack as it seems, like now kind of living my best life, right? Yeah, but I love how you kind of were like, you know what? I have control of my life, and if this is what I'm gonna do, this is what I know I want to do. And if you want to come on this journey with me, like sounds good, but like back your bags. I'm going no matter what. But like if you don't, like that's cool too. Yeah, and uh I I keep going back to my girlfriend who she is gonna be 40 this year and is getting married. She met a wonderful guy, and she's very high up, has an amazing job, very she's very happy L'Oreal, uh, and has traveled kind of all over the country for L'Oreal. And I look up to her so much, and I look up to you so much for women who really like chose their career, which I think is great. And you know, part of me, like, I didn't do that, right? Like, I went from straight at 25 to basically having babies and being a stay-at-home mom, and you know, everything I am a believer, everything works out the way it's supposed to. Absolutely. But now I'm kind of in the season of my life now at well, now I'm not 35 anymore, I'll be 39 and you know, soon. Um, but like, you know, where I'm kind of now trying to like find myself and kind of figure out like how my next chapter and how my career looks now that my kids, I mean, they're getting older, they still need me. But my youngest is you know, five and a half, like she's in full-time school. And I just think like your story is very cool too, because it's like, especially being from the Midwest, I felt a lot of pressure to get married, to settle down, to have kids, to kind of have that white picket fence, to you know, kind of have that life that you know that you see on TV or see like that was I felt just a lot of internal pressure. It's not like my parents were pressuring me, but I think also just I yeah. And I think just the fact that I was married to someone eight years older, like he was kind of like, okay, I'm ready to like have kids and get married and all of that. Um so I just appreciate the fact that you're like, no, like this is gonna, I'm gonna kind of do what sort of works for me right now. And I love the fact that you found someone who was willing to kind of do this with you, and I think we have this tendency where we feel like everything has to check all of the boxes. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 16:44

And isn't that crazy, right? Because talking about checking the boxes, that you felt the pull of the boxes are we have the husband, we have the kids, we have the house. And and I had a very similar, just different items on the checklist, right? Right. And it was first, it was that checklist of the guy who've who's experienced more life than me, so he's gonna know. And like he'll he'll pull me up to where I want to go. And there were those checklist items, and then I was like, well, no, I actually I I think I think I want my own checklist. And then it became the corporate checklist. Right. Now it's okay, if we're not getting a promotion at you know, the standard cadence, what you see everyone else doing. So it is I think us as women, right, we create checklists like it's our job. Yes. And and it could be any topic, right? Any stage of life. Um, and that's that is a pressure that we put on ourselves that men don't they don't even think about it. No, nor do we need to, right?

SPEAKER_03 17:59

But we just do it because that's just like how we are. But we don't need to.

SPEAKER_01 18:04

And it's the world, it really has built so much pressure for women to be perfect, have it all together, have the checklist, check off all the boxes. Um, and I do, I think that makes it a lot harder for us to find ourselves. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 18:24

So I love that. So he said, he got your Chipotle.

SPEAKER_01 18:28

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 18:28

I mean, he's I'll pick you up from the airport. It's like, what a good guy. I mean, already right there, it's like, you're gonna feed me and give me a ride? Like, no, but it's like those, like it's so funny when you think of like just the basic necessities. Like my partner now, he knows after a long week, like, I just want a good cocktail. Yes, I want to put my sweatpants on, I want to sit on the couch and like watch a good show. Like he just knows. He's like, all right, when Friday hits, it when it's you know five o'clock, like he'll text me if I if he's home before me, like, okay, what's the drink tonight? You know, and it's like those little things where you're just like, yes, I just I look forward. It's almost like it's okay to be wanted, it's okay to feel like you want to be taken care of.

SPEAKER_01 19:13

Oh my god, yes. Like we have a lot of conversations in our home about that because it's I think when you're a a more dominant personality, it can be misinterpreted as I don't need to be taking care of me. Exactly. And 99 times out of a hundred, sure. Yes, but that one time I expect for you to be taking care of me. Yes, and we do, we kind of feel this guilt for wanting that.

SPEAKER_03 19:41

Totally, but we we just can't. And I remember in my previous relationship, I was such I feel like I was kind of in that such the caregiver role like for my kids, and my ex worked and traveled a lot, and so like I kind of sort of forgot about like well, what is Kayleigh, like what does Kaylee feel like, or what does Kaylee want? And I thought it was like I felt bad for feeling that way. And I think like us as women, we need to kind of be like, no, like it's it's okay for us, it's not selfish to like want to absolutely have self-care and take care of yourself.

SPEAKER_01 20:14

Right. It's a necessity, it is, but it's and it's deserved, yes. And I I agree, it's this like where did we get this feeling of that's so selfish, yes, and inherently bad, right? I think we feed into that narrative, yeah, absolutely. We feel guilty for taking the day to go do whatever we need to do for ourselves versus whether it's your kids, your partner, um, it it's all just that pressure that we continue to put on ourselves.

SPEAKER_03 20:47

Exactly. Okay, so I love this. So you were he was like, Yeah, sounds good, I'll move with you.

SPEAKER_01 20:52

Yep, that was pretty much.

SPEAKER_03 20:54

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 20:55

Yeah, yeah. He um and my partner, he he's always down for adventure, right? So I think I he was of course moving for me, but he, and this is a quality that I envy a little bit, like he doesn't feel paralyzed about the future. He doesn't ask the okay, well, what about this? And then what if this? And do we have the 20 steps that come after we make this move? Right, right. Whereas I'm like, okay, if we move this chess piece here, what is the move gonna have to be eight moves from now? Right. And and I so envy that because it can feel so paralyzing because it's this pressure you feel of you have to make the right decision all the time because it could impact what decisions you have available to you in the future. Right. And that is terrifying for me, to be honest.

SPEAKER_03 21:57

Yes, yes, and so. He just kind of was like, go with the flow and yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:03

Does he have a pretty uh like flexible job? Oh yeah, he uh what I'd say about Banks is when we met, he had a job, not a career. And it talked about having wildly parallel lives. Um, I was very fortunate to grow up in a home where both of my parents were there and together, and grew up with all of us in the same home. Um, everyone in my family had gone to college. My mom had a career prior to having myself and my sister. My dad was the lead income and career in our home. And I think I took for granted getting to grow up in that kind of environment, whereas Banks, he was the first in his family to graduate college, and it took him a full decade to do it. We met, and and this is where that whole checklist comes back. When we met, um Banks had maybe a year of school under his belt. Um, and man, so far off the checklist. So we meet, and he's like so good looking, right? So again, I'm not looking for anything serious. Yeah, yeah. This is a super hot guy. We're gonna go out. Awesome, love it. Expecting nothing more. And he ends up being so nice. I'm like, wait, what? You're hot. You're not supposed to also be nice. Right, like that seems like a dumbbell to that. Like, I'm fully expecting to be ghosted, right? Like, guys are an assholes. I'm like, oh my god, we're gonna see each other once, we'll have a great night, move on. Right. No, he's nice, he's like using exclamation points and text messages to me, being like, that was so great. Like, do you have more plans this weekend?

unknown 24:00

What?

SPEAKER_01 24:00

Yes, and um, but he also had a breathalyzer in his car.

SPEAKER_02 24:05

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 24:06

Mm-hmm. He so he had a football scholarship, and that was kind of what got him out of his hometown. And when he got to school to play football, that's all he did and partied. The school part was way down on the list, and um, he ended up getting a DUI while he was there, and his dad pulled him out of school, and he was like, You need to get your shit straight. Excuse my French. Yeah. And no, we swear, we're we're pro swearing. Okay, wonderful. Pro swearing. I'm a like avid man hater over here. I'm gonna go home to my fiance whom I love, right? Yeah, exactly. But he so he got pulled out of school, and I think that really set his life on a different course. And then we're negative and and we've talked about that. And um, we met a few years later, and he was he was working a job to pay the bills, but that that was really it. And when we met, I think, and I I'd hope he'd say it in the same way, but I think he felt seen for the first time. I he expressed to me he wanted to go back to school, he wanted to have a career, and I don't think he had seen that in his world, and he didn't know how he could go do that for himself. And I even had conversations with some of his closest friends whom I love dearly, but they're like, he says he wants to go back to school, but he's not gonna do that. I'm like, who are you to say? Right, what is that about? Right, and so when we moved together to Minnesota, he was like, Yeah, I'm enrolling in classes. Oh, it it really is so I could not be more proud, not just of him, but to be with someone like him because it was so hard. Like looking back, the privilege I had growing up the way I did, and then I got a full ride scholarship to school. So, like school was just this incredible experience. It was hard, but like it was all positives to my life versus Banks. He moves to a brand new city with me, who has a very established career that's taking a lot of my time. He knows no one, he doesn't have a college degree, and so he's needing to work without the college degree, and then working on getting that college degree. And he worked away at that for years, and that's part of why when it came time for me to do my role in Cincinnati to get that promotion. I told him I was like, I think you need to stay. Like it, I do not want this to be two steps forward, one step back for you. Like, keep going. I will fly every single week. Like, do not let my career acceleration slow yours down.

SPEAKER_02 27:09

Right, right.

SPEAKER_01 27:10

And so he stayed, and the irony of it all is Banks not only went and finished his bachelor's degree, he then went on to get a master's degree. No way. Which is just so crazy. And like we joke about it that this man who I met on Bumble with a breathalyzer in his car now has more education than I do. Which is you know unbelievable. It's it really is, um, and those are the things I think that as we have grown over the past 10 years. We had talked about this before, like growing up together versus growing up and growing apart, which just happens to people. Yes, right. Like, I think we got really lucky in us both getting to grow up and find careers that we're passionate about. Um, so he's he's um in the education world, he's aspiring to be an athletic director at the high school level. I love that. It is his like man, this guy could not be better with kids, which is really beautiful to see. Yes, and back to that whole pressure thing, it is kind of nice. I'm like, you can go to work and get all the kid world that you want. You don't need it from me yet. Yes, um, yes, and so he works at Edina High School, he manages the school store, he actually started their entire social media account. Um, got like two million views or something this year alone. Okay, that's amazing. So he's really creating community, yeah, right. And um, it's just been so cool to get to see someone in such a different field than I'm in, and to come from such a different world than I had the privilege to grow up in. And he's pioneering in his own way.

SPEAKER_03 29:13

I just I love that, and I really think Chandler, it it's such a testament to if you are with a partner or if you're with someone who really like, like you said, like you the only person who really sees him, saw him. And then you obviously were, I mean, I you have to have, I I really believe you have to have some internal drive to be able to do that, right? But also the fact that he had you to to support him and say, like, no, look, like you can do this. I think that's amazing. And I think I love the idea of like you guys grew up together, because I do think like with my ex and I, like, we just did grow apart, you know, and I was 22 when I met him, he was 30, I was a baby. I was a baby when I got married, I was a baby when we had kids, and then all of a sudden I'm like hitting 30 and having my second, and I'm like, Where where did all this time go? Right, you know, and again, like we co-parent great, but I like we did grow apart, and that's okay. And I love, you know, I think and what I'll tell my girls is like you don't need to like you can find that person, he may be wonderful, but like there's no rush. Like, I don't want my kids to ever feel like this rush to get married or rush to settle down. It's like take that time to like focus on yourself. Like, I, you know, was early on in my career, and then I left to be a stay-at-home mom. And so now that I'm, you know, divorced, it's like, oh my gosh, like I don't even know when the last time my resume's been updated, or like, you know, it's like the whole world has just changed. Yes. And so, um, you know, I'm lucky enough that, you know, this I've found this podcast, which I'm loving, and I'm lucky enough that, you know, I I have good support systems, but it is that if I could go back and talk and shoulda, woulda, coulda, right? Of course, but I would have liked to tell my young self, like, hey, just don't give up on your career yet 100%. Like, or at least keep your foot in the door on something. So I just give you so much credit for doing that. I also think um, you know, going back to thinking about your your partner now, I think it's I take for granted sometimes about how I was raised as well, in the sense that like my parents, you know, I had to go went to a private school, went to, you know, had my parents paid for college, graduated from college, went and lived at, you know, a nice apartment building. Like, I I there wasn't anything that like was very hard in my life, right? And my parents both worked, they both did well, we had a very nice life. Uh, and then I met my partner who was born and raised in Argentina in the projects of Argentina. His, as he says, like North Minneapolis projects would have looked like a country club compared to where he grew up in Latin America. I mean, like the worst of the worst. His biggest dream in life was to be a taxi driver. That was like, I I'll I'll make it. And you know, didn't have ended up doing high when he was he was doing, he was working all day and then at night going to get high school credits. You know, I mean, it was just a different world. And then he moved here at 23, moved actually to Florida, and was making $8 an hour as a dishwasher, knew no English, had no family here. And I think about his just internal drive to then, you know, now he's worked extremely hard and he's very creative and talented and now, you know, owns a bunch of restaurants around here and has done really well. But when you think about where, you know, Banks and where Danny kind of started from, you think about like how much adversity they had to put up with in order to get, you know, to even get anywhere, really. Um and you know, his his mom is the kindest person ever you've ever met. She was working at eight years old, you know. I mean, it's so and I and I just think about their story, and it's like it makes you realize like how thankful and how like our lives were so much easier set up, you know, compared to like what a lot of people go through. Absolutely. And so I give people like Banks and Danny like a lot of credit to be like, okay, because like that wasn't like I don't know about you, but like it was just ingrained in me that like you would go to college. Hundred percent wasn't it wasn't like a absolutely it wasn't like a you know, you you're gonna have to graduate high school and then kind of decide. It was like okay, you know, your freshman year, sophomore year, like let's start doing college visits, like let where are you gonna graduate? You had like your stretch list, your whatever you don't remember all that, absolutely, and you think about like how like that's not everyone's reality, right?

SPEAKER_01 34:20

Not afforded to everyone, yes, and it really is like, and I think because when you're in high school, you are working so hard for that, right? You're doing the college essays, and um, I don't think it was until really I met Banks and we started dating that I realized, okay, sure, I worked to get into the college that I did, but that level of work is very different than what he has had to go through to get to the point in which he's at. Right, exactly. These darn dogs.

SPEAKER_03 35:00

And not I'm and I just saw on Instagram you lost your doggy. I did see that though. I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_01 35:06

So your dog was with you guys for Yeah, he that was um one of the craziest realizations. So I got him um actually right after my junior internship. I was dead set on having a puppy my last year of college.

SPEAKER_02 35:23

No way.

SPEAKER_01 35:23

It was like from the beginning of college. In fact, it's actually why I didn't pursue consulting as a career because I was like bound and determined. I was like, I'm a dog person, I want a dog of my own. I know I won't be able to have a dog and do a consulting role.

SPEAKER_03 35:41

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 35:42

This is my life, this is what I'm gonna do. Yes. And I had been talking with my mom and my sister all summer long about the kind of dog that I wanted, and I landed back in Minneapolis. My internship was in New York. I landed back in Minneapolis in August at the end of the internship, and my family picked me up from the airport and Tucker was there with them.

SPEAKER_03 36:05

Stop it! They surprised you with the puppy. And okay, your your family sounds amazing. Uh again, back to the level of privilege.

SPEAKER_01 36:16

Like, you know, we we talk about privilege being related to money, but I also think the privilege of getting to grow up in a home that is so rooted in just like pure love and adoration. Yes. Um, I I absolutely took that for granted. I was a brat of a teenager. Okay. I think y'all were. We all were. And I do think, right, there's something to like headstrong women who will grow up to be very successful, were probably the worst teenagers. I adorable to be a good idea.

SPEAKER_03 36:51

I talk about my eight-year-old. I'm like, she'll either be in jail or go or be like the CEO of a company. Exactly. You know, gonna give you a run for her money, but she's damn be successful.

SPEAKER_01 37:00

I'm like, you will yeah, yes, absolutely. 100%. So yeah, I um I'm so lucky to have my family, and that's that's part of why actually I ended up wanting to stay in Minneapolis because it was it was kind of that moment of like, wow, you're so lucky to have the family that you have. Um, and it is not guaranteed.

SPEAKER_03 37:23

And no, and so they had the puppy. So did they know what kind of dog you wanted?

SPEAKER_01 37:28

Yeah, so we had actually been looking at like, okay, what kind of dog? And um, there was some woman like out in Fridley who had these two little puppies. And so we were talking about like, okay, maybe this is where I can get my puppy. That's what kind of dog was? Um he was a Cavalier mix. And that's what Daisy's a cab-pooh. So he, I think Cavishan is what he was, but like we were always looking at him like, where's the Sean? Yeah, like he's he's so calved. Yes. And um, and so my mom and my sister actually went and visited the puppies every week. Stop it. And like they were trying to figure out what what puppy was the right puppy for me. Again, I like my my whole family, but my mom and my sister angels on earth. And it's funny now thinking about it, they and they'd always say this they picked Tucker because he was the little guy. He had a like big sister who, like, I guess she was probably more like me. Yeah. She was like, I'm good, I'm independent. And my mom and my sister, they were like, No, this little guy seems like he really needs someone to take care of him. Oh, and some and they knew like I wanted a little something, so he he was kind of my baby, right? Like something that needed me. And as I've grown up, and you know, we take all these personality tests in corporate America, I'm sure since taken the Clifton Strength Finders assessment, which I rank very highly on significance as a strength, which has helped me kind of explain this weird dynamic of I desperately feel need to feel needed by others. And it's wild to me reflecting back on my mom and my sister knew that they probably wouldn't have articulated it in that way at the time, but that's how they found Tucker. And he he was my everything. Like he and he was so little, he came everywhere with me. I got away with sneaking him into class. Like, I have pictures of him just in my lap during lectures, he was quiet as a mouse. I would have, and it was my senior year, so light course load. I had my return offer at PG, so it really was like it was a fun year for me. And I'd have underclassmen coming up to me and they'd be like, Are you Tucker's mom? Can we take Tucker on a walk? Because there were at college, like very few people have dogs. And so he just he shaped my entire senior year. And in all of the change in my life that has happened since, between moving to Charlotte, not having anyone there, then moving to Minnesota, figuring out who I am in my hometown, but now as an adult, then moving to Cincinnati without Banks. Tucker was with me through it all. And Banks and I have never known a world without him. And we have this, we're so lucky to have this really big and full life. And after he passed, we had this realization of like he was the reason we'd always come home. Like he he was what brought us back and like kept us centered. 100%.

SPEAKER_03 41:06

They're the most they're everything.

SPEAKER_01 41:09

Yeah. And only only dog owners get it, right? Um or pet owners, I should say. Um so it it is actually recently, right? It was, it was um January 31st, and it's it's been kind of scary how I'm so not recovered. No, gosh, yeah, no, no, no. Yeah, you know, you I think of myself as a very intense, oftentimes two-a-fault personality, and so there's something just very um hard to accept that like I'm crying multiple times a week. I'm like, I don't cry. Yeah, what who is this person? Um, but again, like back to privilege, what a privilege it is to have something so dear to you, to miss so much. Yes. Um so yeah, we're now we're gonna get another one. I don't know. I um I don't know. And that that is also really hard for me to sit with because we grew up with dogs. They've like I like I said, I am a dog person, and I've never experienced heartbreak like that. And I don't I don't know if I can go through it again. Yeah, and and perhaps, you know, I know I can survive anything, but I I think about now I'm thinking about when do we have kids. Exactly. Right. And and of course the biological clock is real. Yes. And I think about do I want to have a puppy and then also be having a baby if I want to be so lucky, right? Um so yeah, it's it's because they are your first babies.

SPEAKER_03 42:58

I mean, I had my dog Rocco, who was my first baby. I mean, he was like my everything. Yes. And then you have babies, and then it's yeah, it's just it's a whole different thing.

SPEAKER_01 43:09

And don't you think for like millennial girls, like there's something about like when you have like your first dog is like this through line through such a crazy period in your life with so much change, no matter what the change is. And I do think about that too of Tucker, he was our only child, and our entire world could revolve around him. And I know in the future, if we were to get another dog, that dog wouldn't be our only child. They are and and that's that's also we it Binks and I had that conversation. We were like, it's hard to come to terms with the fact that that chapter is closed and closed much sooner than we expected it to. So thank you. Oh my gosh, this dog he was on planes, trains. I think I put him on the Minneapolis City bus with me once. Like he just he would go anywhere. And everyone loved him. Um and it's funny because I he was kind of my bridge to a lot of people. Cause in college I had built quite a tough facade. I think, again, talk about societal pressures and expectations. I felt like in order to be taken seriously as a woman in business or an aspiring woman in business, I needed to be this super intense cutthroat bitch for a lack of a better word, to be taken seriously. I dyed my hair, my hair was the color of yours. I I grew up blonde. I like, I was like, I have got to be taken seriously. And I think it turned a lot of people off. They're like, oh my god, this is a good thing. Which is so interesting.

SPEAKER_03 45:03

Because it's like if you if you were a man, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 45:07

Right?

SPEAKER_03 45:07

It would have been like, oh, look, he's like, you know, he'd probably be like the president of the fraternity.

SPEAKER_01 45:12

Totally. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. And so it was, it was like having Tucker kind of opened. Softened you a little bit. Or like, yes. Yes. 100%.

SPEAKER_03 45:23

Oh, well, you know, it's it's so hard to lose an animal. But my advice is if you're thinking about having a baby, wait to get a dog till your kids start asking for one. Because let me tell you, it is incessant. I had to finally get my I I you know, it's so bad. But I've called this, I called Daisy my divorced dog. Because they were like, when we were getting divorced, they really wanted a dog. And I was like, no, no, no. And so, you know, I bought this house, and they were like, oh, we're gonna have to move. And I'm like, yeah, but I'm like, but guess what? We're gonna get a puppy. That'll soften any blow. I'm like, how shameless. Like, how like my axiom was like, really, and I'm like, I know, but I joked. I was like, this is you know, I because I wanted it to be like, we're getting it, you're getting a new fun house and a puppy. Right.

SPEAKER_01 46:22

It's a new child.

SPEAKER_03 46:23

I'm sure it's probably like any parent, whatever. I think it's her educator would be like, no, but whatever. It worked out well. She is so cute. My I joke that actually today's her birthday. Yay! It's her birthday, she's two. And I joke that um like her dad, you know, Danny, like love like she is the love of she is the love of his life. My kids, that is like their world. I love her so much, but I like if she could just stop peeing in the house, I would be so happy.

SPEAKER_01 46:58

I know it is other than that, she's great. And we, man, like we really can't live without them. Yeah. And I I I do. I think that's why it's like bit of an identity crisis of man, are you really not gonna have a dog? Um, so it's I think the way I'm trying to think about it is actually the way I've been thinking about kids, is in my early 20s, I actually would say to people very defiantly, I'm not having kids. Oh, yeah. I'm a business woman. Right. Like I again back to this facade that it's like, who was I trying to convince? Probably just myself.

SPEAKER_03 47:40

Yeah, you know, and that's that's okay too. You know, we're all just trying to figure it out.

SPEAKER_01 47:44

100%. And I the the school that I went to was quite a pressure cooker, um, very, very intense. And like the success was defined at such a high level. And I was, I was like, I have got I have to put on this entire persona that I think I need to become in order to be taken seriously. And and then as I went through my early 20s, I was like, well, that seems like quite a door to completely close. Yeah, I'm never having kids. Yeah, and but I really I couldn't picture it. And sometimes I do envy women who they they aspire to be a mom. And there were definitely and maybe still are moments where I'm like, what's wrong with me that I don't like I I don't have this maternal instinct of like I see a baby and I'm like, oh my god, right? And um, so I just told myself I was like, maybe it's not that I aspire to necessarily be a mom, but I think to have a family.

SPEAKER_00 48:53

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 48:53

And it'll all really hinge on if I find someone that I want to have a family with.

SPEAKER_03 48:59

Absolutely. I think that's such a great way to look at it. I really, really do. I think that's such a perfect way to put it.

SPEAKER_01 49:05

And then you found someone who Who's like born to be a dad. Yeah. And this man, he he would have wanted to have kids like eight years ago. Yeah. If he could help it. Um, he would get like drunk in our early 20s, not early, probably mid to late 20s, and he'd be like, let's just have kids. And I'm like, you lunatic. What? Like, what are you thinking? And then you do, you're like, oh, I guess, I guess people our age do have kids, so that's not that crazy. Yeah, but that's crazy. And um, so so it is. It's um, I I saw something on Instagram, and it was like, I forget the girl who said it phrased it so well, but it was like don't find a man who makes you want to have kids. Find a man who you can't imagine giving I'm not gonna say it right, but like basically this idea of like that kids would be so lucky to have someone like that in their life versus like just a man to make you a mom. Right, I think was the flip of it, and that's so banks. Like, born to be a dad, he his dad, we lost him far too soon. Um thanks it COVID, and it was oh my god, it was horrible. Um, and so I but I can see like his dad was such a lover, like just the sweetest man. And whenever Banks was like driving home from work, they'd call each other, and like I just think you know, I don't really think of guys as like getting on the phone and chatting. No, no, no. Um, so I can just so picture between that and of course Banks getting to work with he's worked with youth athletes for the good part of eight the last eight years. And so I very much look forward to getting to have a family together, if again, if we're to be so lucky, because that's that is one of the trade-offs that I've had to live with of I have intentionally postponed getting married and having kids to prioritize a career, but that comes with a lot of risk. Like, as much as I don't want to believe in a biological clock, there is realities of that. And so it's every day, at least when I'm having a bad day, it feels like a gamble. And those those are hard things, those are things we talk about in therapy for sure.

SPEAKER_03 51:42

Yeah, but also I feel like there's no right or wrong way to do it. And I think you just do with what you go through life with what feels right to you in that moment. And obviously that's what you're doing. And so I think it's like if you live with honesty and live with intention, and I think that's there's no, there's no wrong way, right? As long as you're living kind of your true self and what feels right to you, and that's kind of what I'm trying to do now in this life, you know, is like this feels good, my kids are doing well, you know, I have a good support system, like this just feels good, yeah. And and I I didn't did I think at 35 I would be, you know, getting a divorce with three small kids. No, like that wasn't that wasn't like in my you know plan, yeah. But everything kind of kind of happens the way and I do believe like I am a firm believer that everything works out the way it's supposed to. I just am the exact same. I think it it just is.

SPEAKER_01 52:44

Yes, it's painful when you're figuring it out, like when you're going through it, it can be so painful, yes. But then you get to the other side and you're like, yeah, yeah, that's how all the chips were supposed to fall. Exactly. Exactly. So now what's next for you? Oh my gosh. Um Do you guys have a wedding date? We actually just set one. We haven't even announced it to our friends yet. Um, I am so excited, and man, has that been a journey? Because I um Are you guys gonna get married in Minnesota? We are now. When is the when does this air? I'll have to make sure I tell my people. I'm not sure yet. So maybe let's not give a date. Yeah. So it'll be sometime in the near future. It won't be anything. My mom at one point was like, are you ever gonna get married? My sweet sister, my mom was like tying to her about kids and you know, all the pressure. And yeah, my sister was like, Well, I I want to at least wait until after Chandler gets married. And my mom was like, Don't do that. She's like, She's like, no, it's please give me a grandbaby at least if I don't have a wedding to look forward to. She is. They got married September 2024. Um, so of course you can imagine so many people at the wedding were like, Chandler's not married yet, what's going on with that? And I'm like, oh people, give me a break. Seriously. Isn't that so fun? You know, it's just like I I'm happy now that I kind of wear it as a badge of honor. Yes. But it's like it is just weird because it's like, why don't why do we care? Yeah, why does it matter? It's working for me.

SPEAKER_03 54:29

Just it's like I I'm doing fine, you're doing fine. Like we're good. Yes, 100%.

SPEAKER_01 54:34

So um Okay, so let's exciting so you have a wedding date. We have a wedding date, and I think so. We got engaged in August of last year, so it's been over six months, and poor Banks, my most patient man in the entire world. Like, we have looked at everything from we gotta leave the country, I want it to be small, like I just want our closest friends and people, because especially when you think about having been together for 10 years, like there are people who were part of that journey of us growing up together, like people who really enabled us to grow together and stay together in the way that we have. And so it feels I think at first my mom almost perceived it as like, I don't really care about it because I was so like, well, I'm not in a rush. I blah blah blah. And I think instead it's actually I care so deeply about it because it to me feels like far more than a wedding just celebrating us, but honestly, as kind of a thank you to those who like really enabled us to grow and thrive and go from being like the 22-year-old babies to like fully grown adults who still don't have it all figured out, but um I think we are doing pretty well. Thanks. I think I think we can look back and be proud of the people that we've become, which is really special. So um that's that is a thing in my life. It is not the thing in my life, and I think that's something that I'm also proud of is um, and I think it's also a privilege. There's so many things in my life that I'm so excited about. I can't, I can't have my entire identity become planning a wedding. No, I I um I filed for an LLC to really formalize my um, I I hate the term side hustle, and I we can get into that, um, but my non-day job work and because I've been doing so much in like creative, not just content creation, but creative consulting. And I really want to see how far I can push that. Yes. And so at the outset of the year, actually on my birthday, I I told my family I didn't want to do anything. Banks had to work, I don't know, some hockey game or something that he was working with the school. And I was like, no, I want to stay at home and I want to file for an LLC and really formalize my business. And so I am, I've got a foot in the corporate world, I've got a foot in the creative world, and both of those things are making me so much better at the other. It's really, it's really, really cool to just be, I am learning like crazy. Like there's just so much I want to do. Yeah, there's so much out there to accomplish. And so I am while I'm very excited about the wedding, I think I'm actually more excited about getting to be married. Like I think that's the the real joy of it all. And I didn't really think about the fact that those were two very different things until we've kind of worked through this process of like, what does a wedding that's special to us look like? So um always busy doing all the things. I am scaling my personal platform, I do majority of my content creation and influencer work on Instagram. Um, I work with multiple businesses here locally in support of their marketing and social media. I do a live stream sale every Saturday morning. Amazing. You can catch me on down the rabbit hole MN. We go live on Instagram for three hours every Saturday.

SPEAKER_03 58:50

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 58:52

And I model designer clothes for three hours straight. Okay, that sounds amazing. We sell, and so I sell on the weekdays, I sell on my Saturday.

SPEAKER_03 59:04

Saturdays, I love that.

SPEAKER_01 59:06

It it is so it can be really exhausting, but damn, is it fun? Yes. And this is where the the term selfishness comes in for me is I I have always said, like, there's too much for myself that I want to do. I'm not ready to have kids. And so I really admire women who have had the clarity of like, no, I'm gonna bring a child into this world, let them become my entire world, and declare that that's gonna be my priority for a period of time. And I haven't been ready for that yet. And I think as I am nearing the point where I know I need to get really serious about it, I'm like, okay, I wanna leave it all out on the core and just do everything I can because my priorities will shift and evolve. And I want to feel like I'm not only ready for that, but that I want it. Yeah. So I'm trying to do as much as I can in this current moment because you know.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:12

I think that's great. I think that's amazing. And I'm so so proud of you. And I think you are such a testament to women you can it's okay to work your ass off, and it's okay to choose yourself and to choose your career. And you know, I think you're such a role model because you know, like even to my girls, like I think that is the story, is what I want to tell them is like you got this, like you go for it, you shoot for the stars and work hard, and you will never there will never be pressure on me to get I will never be putting pressure on them, I should say, for them to settle down and do all you know, it's like I think how you've done it is is wonderful. So yeah, I mean you really are. You're such a role model to a lot of people.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:04

So I so appreciate that. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for coming on. Absolutely. Thank you for having me. I again am so flattered and I'm I am so inspired by women running their own businesses. So I I couldn't be more honored to get to the show.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:20

And I'm so excited about you having your own, your, you know, your next gig. I mean, I think that's amazing. And I know that a lot of our listeners are gonna want to partner or follow you. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:32

I I am in a stage where I want to look at anything and everything. Cause I think I was at a um, it was actually called Influencer Fest earlier this week, and the panelists were talking about how sometimes we might just assume a partnership doesn't make sense. Um, and the idea was all about like anything's worth a conversation. Yes. Because you really don't know until you start talking about what are your business goals, what are you trying to create, what are you trying to build, that's where magic happens. And that's what gets me so excited. So my my inbox is open. I am looking forward to partnering again in a more formalized way and bringing the experiences that I've built over the past 10 years to life in new and different ways.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:30

That's amazing. Well, I'm so excited for you. I know there's gonna be amazing things in here as we have the I mean it's kind of full circle. We totally hated Tucker, we loved Tucker, and then we talked about dogs, and then you're saying I'm not sure if I want to get another dog. No, Daisy's barking the whole time.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:51

Because we can't live. Here's the deal we can't live without them because our lives are too quiet without them in every way, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:03:00

It's true, it's true. Well, thank you so much for so much for you.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:04

I'm so happy to be here. Yeah, thank you, thank you.