Ep 19 Growing Pains Are Good: How to Calm Your Nervous System and Grow Beyond Your Edges

That panic you feel right before you take the next step? That voice saying who do you think you are? That is not a stop sign. That is proof you are growing.

In this episode of The Magic in the Middle, Sarah gets beautifully raw and real about her own nervous system, sharing the panic that still visits her as she steps deeper into this podcast, this work, and the next greatest version of herself. From painfully shy and self-loathing to leading Qigong in front of thousands, she is walking this path right alongside you, and she wants you to know: the growing pains are not the problem. They are the invitation.

This episode builds on last week's guided manifestation practice and goes even deeper, giving you the science and the somatic tools to keep your nervous system on your side as you expand.

In this episode you will discover:

• Why your excuses, your fear, and your resistance are not character flaws but your nervous system doing exactly what it was designed to do
• Three powerful somatic techniques to calm your nervous system in real time, including the Voo breath, the sniff and exhale, and the shoulder tap practice
• How to speak directly to the frightened part of yourself with love instead of frustration, and why that changes everything
• Why what we resist persists and how loving the monkey mind rather than fighting it is the key to finally moving through it
• How the Fire Horse energy of 2026 is making this the most potent time in 60 years to release old karma, old patterns, and old stories that have been keeping you small
• Why your growing pains, just like a teenager's, are simply proof that you are becoming more

Sarah speaks not from theory but from a lifetime of hard-won healing. This is practical, loving, grounded wisdom for anyone who is ready to grow and just needs to know it is safe to do so.

You are safe. You are growing. And those two things can absolutely be true at the same time.

Join Sarah's free Qigong practice group, Monday through Friday, 7 to 7:35am Pacific on Zoom. Learn more at marrvelouslife.com.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Hello. I'm I'm always happy to be here with you. I'm grateful to be here with you. And you know, I'm even more grateful that you're here with me. And last week we talked about stepping into, like powerfully stepping into that person. That person within you that is seeking to merge in and through you. We all have this person within us that's wanting to step out in a bigger way. Because as humans, we are meant to grow and thrive and create. Doesn't mean going harder. It just means that there's something that's within us that that wants to be expressed. Like as an artist, you don't continually say, I'm gonna paint this one picture over and over and over again, do you? Or a musician or a business person. I'm gonna keep producing this over and over again. I'm never gonna improve it. No, we're creative. People are put on this earth as creators. So we're all creators. So there's something in there that's wanting to be expressed, and it's very exciting, and so it's that stepping forward and stepping into that next greatest version, because we're always great and brilliant, but it's that next greatest version, and like I said last week, we're gonna talk about the nervous system because at the same time, even though we are here to be creators and grow and expand, our nervous system wants us to stay the same. Isn't that interesting? Our nervous system is there, so our nervous system could be called the monkey mind. Um searching for other words for it, but it's that noise that comes up right when you're about to step right into that threshold, and it will say, No, no, don't go to the gym today. You don't need to go to the gym, yeah. You you don't need to step into and make one more painting. No, you're good, you're good. Why is anybody gonna look at it anyway? Who do you think you are, right? Or the nervous system could come up as fear and lack, like these things inside of you that you've picked up along the way, those things that you were taught growing up, so it could come up in that way, so it could come up in feelings and thoughts. I mean, thoughts do cause feelings, so there's some kind of thought that's going, and then out of that might come fear and panic. So, what do we do when that happens? Because we want to keep growing and learning. I do, I want to keep expanding and I keep stepping in more and more and more. Like this podcast is something new that I'm doing, and I keep stepping in more and more, more, and more, right? And to this greatest version and vision of me, and I do get panic, panic comes up. I'm like, why would anybody listen to me? What do I have to say? Who cares? I care, that's why I'm here. Um, because I'm walking this journey with you, and I'm growing and expanding with you, and you know, I have to tell you, I come from a place where I was painfully shy, painfully shy. I didn't like myself, I didn't appreciate myself, I didn't know what self-what love was. I was never taught self-love, never. Um, I came from a place where that didn't exist at all, and things came from the outside, and that's what would make us happy. So for me, you know, I've had to, I never even growing up had any kind of coach or mentor that said to me, This is all within you. You're a powerful human being, a powerful person. Now let's dig in and see what these essences of you and who you are, and this love that you could have for yourself, you don't have to seek it outside of you. This approval, it's not outside of you, it's inside of you. You know, I had to learn all these things myself, and I don't really have regret about it. I used to, but you know, I believe I chose to come here and learn these things, and now I'm able to speak from this place where I was painfully shy. Um, in later years, I went into suicidal depression. I honestly thought about how am I gonna kill myself without pain. And you know, I love my family. I still you know, I still love my family, and I just could not imagine doing that to them. So I didn't, and I found another way, and I knew it was all about energy, all about energy. So I tell you this because I am walking the walk. I know what I'm talking about. I come from a lot of trauma, and so sometimes I do panic, and so when I'm stretching like I am now, I can go into panic. My my heart starts beating quickly, you know, a little short of breath. I'm like, what am I doing? And then the chatter, you know, the chatter, who's gonna listen to you? Who do you think you are? You're not good enough. But I have learned ways of stepping out of that, and remember, resistance is persistence, so we don't want to resist. That's really important, and our nervous system is important because it's the thing that prevents us from stepping out in front of the truck, right in front of a car. But the nervous system is from also Neanderthal times when we were living outdoors amongst dinosaurs, you know, great big cats, and I've talked about this before, but it's worth talking about because this is so important for stepping beyond where we want to go, because I believe we're always going to be pulled, we're always gonna be pulled. Something's gonna pull us, and if we stop doing that one thing, like let's say we're creating a piece of artwork or we're wanting to get our body in shape, and then we talk ourselves out of it, meaning the monkey mind talks us out of it, or the fear comes, right? Like old memories will come up of when you're ridiculed or um made fun of those things, embarrassments, and you might not remember it as the embarrassment, but you remember the pain. The thing about that is as we're growing into these greatest visions and versions, we get the opportunity now to heal that. It's really, really cool, and I have been doing that, and you can tell. I hope I'm not painfully shy anymore. I just go, I'll leave Qi Gong in front in front of 5,000 people. It doesn't matter to me. 100,000 people. If you want to come, come. Let's do Qigong. I mean, I can't even tell you how painfully shy I was, how much self-loathing I had, how small I felt. But I I have learned and I practice what I'm talking about. I'm doing this with you. So a few things that I have been doing, like one thing today, so I had a little panic today. One thing that came to me today was I don't know if you've heard of it, but it's vo and so inhaling. So let's do it together.

SPEAKER_00 9:26

Inhaling Can you feel that inside?

SPEAKER_01 9:55

Okay, I might not have the best voice, but voo. So just humming vo. So what happens when we're doing that is we're calming the um our sympathetic nervous system, right? We're calming everything down. We're going back to safety. Another great one that um I like to do is the quick sniff with your nose. So you inhale, little sniff, go, and then a big long one, and then exhale out your mouth. Uh oh my gosh. That one for me is a really big one. I do that one a lot. Like, if I feel I'm stretching, I do that one a lot. That one feels so good to me. And one more I've talked about on other podcasts is crossing your arms over yourself, right? And so you have your palms on your shoulders on the outside of your shoulders, and you tap one shoulder, top the other, tap one shoulder, top the other. I do this one a lot too. I do all three of these, and then you can say, it is safe. I can be safe and grow at the same time. I can be safe and grow at the same time. It's okay. So, what we're doing here, we're not ignoring ourselves, we're giving ourselves the attention that maybe that little child wanted and needed. We're saying, I see you, hello. You can even say that. I see you, hello, and I do that. I say, I see you're frightened. I get it. This is new territory, and you don't like new territory, you like to say the same. And that's okay, I get it. But I got this. I'm a grown-up now, and I got this, and I'm taking care of everything, and so let's just sit here for a moment and give you love.

SPEAKER_00 12:39

I love you. You are loved.

SPEAKER_01 12:49

And if you think about it, that child, whatever this fear is coming up, it's something that happened, you know, in childhood, growing up, something that happened in life. And it's coming up to be heard and seen and fed. For me, I think it's really important to do that. I think it's important to sit with it, even acknowledge it. Call it what it is. I am afraid. Hi, fear, I see you, fear. And then just doing one of these somatic techniques to calm the nervous system. I feel calmer just sitting here doing it with you. But I think it's really important to love all aspects of ourself. And, you know, what we resist persists, and the monkey mind. When you resist it, it's gonna get louder and louder and louder and stronger and stronger and stronger. You know, it'll go so far as to make you sick. The monkey mind's a powerful thing, so we want to make sure our monkey mind and our nervous system are on our side. Earlier this year. So let me hold on. So we want to make sure that they're on our side and in our court and walking with us, and we don't want to trick them, the meaning the monkey mind. We don't want to trick our nervous system or our monkey mind. We want to be true and honest with it and bring it on board and give it love. Each one of us is triggered by something different because of our own unique experiences, and that doesn't mean we're bad or good, because we are all inherently amazing and beautiful beings. It only means that we're crossing over something, we're crossing over a blockage, as we say in Qigong, and so this is our chance. This is our chance to grow through that, to be able to let it go and fall away. This is just such a huge opportunity when things like this come up with our nervous system. So I look at it as a blessing, and I like to say, Oh, yes, I'm knocking up against something. So that means I'm growing. I'm growing now. The sharp edges are there, I'm hitting up against those sharp edges. So I'll just take one of these somatic techniques. I see you. Maybe we call it fear, anxiety, just saying what it is. We don't even have to step in and feel it anymore. Just say, I see you. You are heard. I hear you. Because we don't want to ignore that little person anymore. It's okay to love ourselves completely, and I think it's critical and important. And we're gonna always keep expanding and growing, whether we think we are not, and we're like, no, I'm just gonna stay the same. I mean, that's impossible. That's impossible for any human being, and life will put you into situations where you feel uncomfortable. So these are some techniques that you can use when you come up against your nervous system and that monkey mind talking you out of growing and moving forward, and excuses making excuses. Excuses are the nervous system, the monkey mind, keeping you safe. That's it, that's what they are. And you know what? I'm not saying you don't have to do any of this. What I'm saying is if you want to grow past it and be able to expand more and feel safe, these are great techniques because we can feel safe and be safe and grow all at the same time, and that's what's really cool, and I know from experience, and I just I know how brilliant we all are. That's why I do this podcast because I see the beauty and the brilliance in every being, and we're so blessed to be here, and we're meant to come here and have fun and do great things and be creative and playful, and to me, the nervous system peace is a really big piece, it's a really big piece to expanding beyond and to the next greatest version of ourselves. Like, you know, we're not babies anymore, and we went through this even as babies. Remember when you're a teenager and you had growing pains? This is a growing pain, it's just not in your body. Well, it is in your body, it's just not in your muscles and your and your joints and things. These are growing pains, and so why not take the opportunity to expand past some trauma, past your past and let it go and be free. Be free. It's a great time to be free. This is a great time in the fire horse energy to let go of old karma, old paradigms, old ideas, to step into your greatest and version of you. Thank you for joining me. If you're enjoying this podcast, if you feel like it's valuable, please share it. Give a thumbs up, five stars. I love being here with you. I love growing and expanding together. This is a really great time to do this, too. I mean, the energy in the world is so potent right now. This is a really great time to step in and to lean in to being the highest and the best that we can be. And that doesn't have to be hard. That's just it's meant to be simple. Yeah, we're in the fire horse year. This is a great year to release unsupportive karma, to step in and lean in, and at the same time, balancing yourself, balancing yourself with rest, grounding yourself, because grounding, the ground stops the fire, not stops the fire, but it contains the fire because we don't want to stop the fire, we want that fire because it's energy, water, just to manage it so it doesn't get too hot or too unpredictable. We want to ride that horse and have fun. So enjoying this this beautiful energy of the air. Thank you for being here with me. I'd love you so much.