Microphone Monkeys

The Pigeon Invasion Episode!

Randy Oparowski Season 1 Episode 10

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0:00 | 1:03:09

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Here the Microphone Monkeys (sans Darren) discuss Russian Man's Pigeon Invasion, Tomatoes that smell like Buttered Popcorn, Smoking Crack as Healthcare, High Voltage Powerline Robots, and more Monkey Business!

Check out the Tripp (and Graham) has Issues podcast!

SPEAKER_06

Hey guys, welcome to Microphone Monkeys. Today we're missing Darren. I think he had some sort of Hindu, something to do with El Chapo and the Hindu resort or something, but he's tied up right now.

SPEAKER_04

No, I think he was in meditation, or he thought he was in meditation. He actually just went to sleep.

SPEAKER_06

He overslept the pod. That's right. But uh we have the uh original four from last week. So we have Maniac Mike from the gun show. The gun show. Connecticut Mike. We have have Stone Cold Steve Hoffman, the ladies' man.

SPEAKER_00

It's a beautiful day.

SPEAKER_06

We just did the Hoff podcast. That's right. And then we have uh our favorite executive producer, uh ex-adult film star, former bodyguard, yeah, VHS tape, fame.

SPEAKER_04

My my yes, my uh my most famous movie being Debbie Ignores Myrtle Beach.

SPEAKER_06

Um, there was Debbie Does Dallas. What was your sequel? It was like Will Does Wisconsin or something?

SPEAKER_04

Debbie Avoids Myrtle Beach. Oh, okay. Kind of kind of kind of the story of my life on these things.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah. Was that with your old friend and longtime uh co-star Ron Jeremy on that one?

SPEAKER_04

No, Steve Hoffman. Steve Hoffman was the back in the uh Yeah, we we we were the blue hill, the blue pill brothers of uh Liberty on Caffeine.

SPEAKER_06

Had a different meaning in the 90s, I guess. So we have our first story for today. A Russian man left his window open for three years, and his apartment was filled with pigeons. He returned to his apartment after three years and discovered that dozens of pigeons had moved in and completely taken over his unit. The floor was covered in droppings and feathers, and there were nests everywhere, and pigeons were perched on his furniture. And he said it looked like they were uh wanting rent money from him like they owned the house now. And uh, in a video, they showed all the pigeons lined up across the apartment staring at him, and uh, them basically growling and barking at him like he was trespassing. But uh I I I was thinking this kind of ties in with our bio drone Russian pigeons. I don't know what this guy might have been up to.

SPEAKER_04

Well, first off, did he go out for cigarettes and didn't come back for three years?

SPEAKER_06

It's a work thing. He left for work for a few years and just left his unit empty, I guess. Did he leave the window open? He left one window open by accident. And his whole unit, his floors were destroyed. There were like a dozen pigeons.

SPEAKER_05

I don't think he's gonna get his deposit back.

SPEAKER_06

I don't think so. And he's the owner.

SPEAKER_05

I think the pigeons are gonna infect them.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, but it sounds like the way they were looking at them, they were already starting that.

SPEAKER_04

So I mean, um our listeners are gonna think week after week that we're just absolutely looking for pigeon articles.

SPEAKER_06

Pigeons. This is in India Times.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, that's right.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, and they they I'm sure they're doing fact checking.

SPEAKER_04

That's right. The Indian Times in the section called pigeon droppings.

SPEAKER_00

That's what happens when you leave a bag of peanuts on the floor.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, you know. Yeah. It's uh, I guess they opened up the first like Russian pigeon drone base. Just leave your window open in Russia now. But on the same timeline on India Times, they had a an interesting CRISPR genetic modification story.

SPEAKER_04

CRISPR?

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, so CRISPR is a technology. Someone won the Nobel Prize in Medicine in the last five years over discovering it. You can splice genes and alter your uh the AGCT genetic genome code and cause mutations and do medical things with people and whatever, change people's eye color, you can change the taste of uh of food. Okay. And in China, of course, they genetically modified a tomato so that it would give off odors similar to butter-flavored popcorn. Wow.

SPEAKER_04

They use so random. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

So they use some tomatoes with my popcorn, right? Well, see, this is just the beginning of this. This is the first time they've done this to any sort of food crop. Okay. So they use Cripsur uh Crypster gene editing technology to deactivate two genes in the tomatoes to make the aroma similar to popcorn and fragrant rice.

SPEAKER_04

What they really need to do is the Chinese need to develop something that will alter the uh genome of the tomato of Chinese tomatoes to taste like frickin' tomatoes. Exactly.

SPEAKER_06

Well, they've they've been doing the GMO stuff to make the size bigger. So why why not?

SPEAKER_00

If they ever develop sushi flavored potato chips, they got a customer.

SPEAKER_06

That's probably what's next. We'll we'll see when they have the kung fu robots controlling everything we do, yeah, and then they're feeding us popcorn flavored tomatoes and sushi flavored potato chips.

SPEAKER_05

Well you got uh what is it, Bill Gates? He owns pretty much the majority of the farms in America, and he sprang I was reading about that, he sprang the um farms with chemicals to stop reproduction of people.

SPEAKER_06

Oh yeah. Well he's uh he's real big on population control. I'm sure he'll be in the middle of this somewhere.

SPEAKER_04

He's got he's deeply invested in Monsanto, so yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Bill Gates has a lot of interesting quotes on uh the all the Western countries' populations are already declining. Yeah. But he's obsessed with this population control thing. But uh we'll see. But they they're basically uh using it, their goal is to take all forms of vegetables and alter the aromas and flavors. So one uh side effect of this CRISPR stuff is it causes mutations and how people have been critical of GMOs and spraying food. So who knows what kind of uh side effects are gonna come from doing all this gene splicing in our food.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Well, I do have a theory as to why Bill Gates is so much into uh population uh control and people not wanting to have sex with each other. It's because he's grown up and most of his life no one has wanted to have sex with him.

SPEAKER_06

So he just wants everybody else to if you need Epstein to be your broker, he he seems to be getting it now, according to those Epstein films.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, well, yeah. Yeah, they had to get these poor, hapless uh Russian girls, yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Ukrainian girls to he could be the new Epstein enough money to do it.

SPEAKER_06

The way Melinda was talking about him. Uh who knows what else he's up to?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, find him hung in his in his cell, Melinda coming out, it wasn't me.

SPEAKER_06

Did you see how she threw him under the bus right away?

SPEAKER_04

Oh gosh, yeah.

SPEAKER_06

In a video interview, yeah. Uh she basically said, go after him.

SPEAKER_04

So I don't think that divorce ended very amicably, but she she got a majority of the half, and then she wants everybody to go after the other half. Yeah. I mean, again, she's another hapless woman that really didn't want to have sex with him and did, and she she wants her pound of flesh.

SPEAKER_00

So why isn't he in jail right now? I mean, the COVID pandemic and stuff, he had a role in that.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, yeah. Well it it's uh well, I mean, it's money. Yeah, you can't you can't put in you can't jail people who have money.

SPEAKER_05

You gotta remember this guy, this guy 25 years ago, when Google was rule ruler of the internet, you mean Windows or Windows, he he had a monopoly that the govern he could overthrow the government back then. He had more money in the government, and the government is the one who stopped him from monopolizing.

SPEAKER_06

Well, that's Dean Baker. He's a left-wing economist, but he wrote a long article on Bill Gates on how he used all the IP laws all through the late 80s and through the 90s to use lawfare. He would just terrorize and bankrupt anyone who was competing with him in any way, and they couldn't afford to fight it back, and he was doing illegitimate lawsuits.

SPEAKER_04

Well, you know the biggest danger to him right now, and the biggest thing that Toshiba is the first of the uh big uh uh compact PCs and laptop manufacturers to not offer, not uhfer Windows as their primary operating system. They're gonna have Linux and it is freaking him out because there are other manufacturers that are saying, hey, that sounds like a good idea. We'll just make Windows an option. Yeah, well, that will cost him not billions, but tens of billions, possibly hundreds of million hundreds of billions of dollars in future revenue.

SPEAKER_05

I was reading about that. Linux, you can get as a free operating system on your computer, so why would you pay for Windows?

SPEAKER_04

Exactly. And Windows is so bloated now you have advertisements on it, they try to force you with their stupid updates, they're more susceptible to uh to attack. Um and uh it's slower. And and now the look and feel of Linux can look like Microsoft, or I mean uh it can look like uh Mac OS or or Microsoft Windows or something unique. Something is actually better as uh something that works. Absolutely. Something that absolutely works.

SPEAKER_00

But he can probably be make more money with the uh saltpeter infused uh agricultural products, you know. Well, here we go. I can see a big market in India.

SPEAKER_04

The Hoff has his peters involved in work again.

SPEAKER_05

Well, you gotta feed those uh India people, billions of people over there.

SPEAKER_06

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's why we have our genetically modified CRISPR tomatoes.

SPEAKER_00

So for places where the population is going down, you would have the Viagra-infused agriculture product. Big business.

SPEAKER_04

Once again, the Peter Rise, the free market at work.

SPEAKER_06

Well, we did have that issue where uh, you know, your camera guy Graham had an issue, and they I I don't know if he was going through India. One of Steve Hoffman's sources got him some pills for uh his gout, but uh they they seem to just give him a headache and make his dick hard and doesn't help his foot. That's right.

SPEAKER_04

I get the India Times delivery house. Yeah, the club went to the wrong place.

SPEAKER_06

He said he'd try three or four more times and see what's going on. But uh I get I guess the robots don't really have to use chains now that we have we'll have sushi flavored potato chip.

SPEAKER_04

I wonder if it'll work on women.

SPEAKER_06

Well, Viagra?

SPEAKER_04

No, the changing of the flavor.

SPEAKER_06

Uh, who knows? Isn't it when they're pregnant, they uh their olfactory senses go all off.

SPEAKER_04

Well, that's the yeah, how they they smell things. But I mean, you know, if you've if you're snacking on your favorite gal. What flavor do you want?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, you like peanut butter, you like you know what's female body deodorant. We know what you're thinking.

SPEAKER_06

That's what these sushi potato chips are about.

SPEAKER_04

Save save some money on that flavored gel.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah. Well, we're saying he wanted to pre-order some sort of clam flavored uh uh cheese, but yeah. I wasn't sure what was going on.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, for between recordings.

SPEAKER_06

For your research. That's right. Along with the uh the Chinese 20-year-old model robots. Oh sniff and scratch.

SPEAKER_04

That's me on laundry day. Sniff and scratch. There's not there's not enough uh tied out to get those racing stripes off the underwear. And not for the politically incorrect version of that. That's right. That's why I have the I have the dude wipes in the uh bathroom.

SPEAKER_06

I think we found the title of the podcast uh flavored potato chips. Uh uh changing course from food and uh vaginal eating. Uh Billy Idol.

SPEAKER_03

Nope, that's still vaginal eating.

SPEAKER_06

He did kind of have like a lesbian woman look a little bit in the 80s. Oh, yeah. He had the dyed hair and he looked like a chicken.

SPEAKER_05

Or maybe a pigeon.

SPEAKER_02

A pigeon and I ring.

SPEAKER_06

I think that's flock of seagulls. There's another title, Flock of Pigeons. That's right. Uh he has a really interesting version of drug rehabilitation. So he went on Bill Maher's podcast, and he said he used to be addicted to heroin, but he had a really interesting novel way he dealt with this, and he said it worked a hundred percent. Yeah. He said his main way of getting off of heroin was he started using crack cocaine.

SPEAKER_05

So he graduated from heroin to crack.

SPEAKER_06

Nice. So he said it worked.

SPEAKER_04

He also said But now he's addicted to crack. Now he's addicted to crack.

SPEAKER_05

But that'll be uh let's uh give him some angel dust. Angel dust, LSD.

SPEAKER_00

I can understand that. I find that dropping a couple of Quaos before breakfast keeps me off of drugs, also. Same reasoning, same logic.

SPEAKER_06

This is some Hollywood LA rock star logic on this one. But then he said he got in a serious motorcycle accident and got off mostly got off crack, but that he's now California sober. What was that?

SPEAKER_04

From brain damage from his head dosing psilocybin mushrooms.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, this is California sober. This might be related to Darren's absence.

SPEAKER_05

It's like the commercial, this is your brain on crack.

SPEAKER_06

This is the Billy Idol form of AA.

SPEAKER_04

Maybe he'll be our next uh uh Secretary of Health, you know.

SPEAKER_06

He might be. The way RPA is, I'm not sure. He's gonna be our AA sponsor, the national AA delegate for have him up there dressing in drag. You gotta get some crack. Only in California would getting off of heroin and getting on crack would be like a responsible decision.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, bravo!

SPEAKER_06

Bravo, how brave, how brave job, Billy Albert.

SPEAKER_00

California sober is having a couple bottles of Napa Valley red wine before bedtime. That's California.

SPEAKER_06

One with a lot of weed. That's right. Uh so you know, I I thought that was interesting. That is kind of like if have you ever used ChatGPT and it just malfunctions and tells you the totally wrong thing to do. Oh, yeah, yeah, or it'll uh drift. Yeah. This sounds like a Gemini haywire kind of uh rehabilitation self-care plan.

SPEAKER_04

You know, inverted as food pyramid or something.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, if you do too much heroin, this is the type of ideas you get. That's right. Uh but moving on down India Times timeline. This is interesting. This is related to what uh you're trying to. China, of course, once again, they're really going crazy with the AI and the robotics.

SPEAKER_04

Thank God the Chinese are around, so we have these stories.

SPEAKER_06

Russia and China. Uh China has successfully created an AI robot that repairs high voltage power lines. So this is technically the world's first robotic electrician. They China successfully created a robot that repairs ten kilovolt power lines in the Hubai province. This kind of work is normally done by highly trained electricians working in dangerous environments, but the robot was able to complete the entire repair remotely, potentially replacing human workers for electrical grid maintenance. The development is another example of robotics rapidly expanding into skilled labor jobs that many people previously thought were safe from automation. So imagine this all of the trades. You have these Timu Chinese robots coming in doing kill what was it, kill a volt?

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, but is power line repair? Is this robot rubberized? I thought I could see them up there now.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, one water bottle, throw the whole robot off. It's probably they'll probably find a rubber skin for him. But uh one of the defenses of robotics and AI has been it's going to go top down. It's gonna take all the professional, like lawyer jobs, all the service sector jobs, and plumber, electrician, carpenter, etc. etc.

SPEAKER_05

What about bombs?

SPEAKER_04

Well, that's what contractors I think you're I think you're missing the big point. It's gonna affect country music. I mean, how are we gonna have songs like Wichita Linemen from Glenn Campbell made over to this?

SPEAKER_06

Where's blue collar gonna go?

SPEAKER_04

It's an A Lin.

SPEAKER_06

Going down that big wall. Well, I mean, they're already writing songs, country music stuff. I I really like that uh small town. Try that in a small town. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

The next time I go to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned, and a robot walks into the room. That's it. I'll just start flossing seven times a day. No more teeth cleaning.

SPEAKER_04

That hygienist is doing something besides flossing you, buddy.

SPEAKER_00

Well, let me reconsider that.

SPEAKER_05

So now, so now when you put an ad in, you gotta ask it the qualifications of electrician or plumber. Are you AI?

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, are you AI? Imagine they come in and they don't. Are you Spanish, white, black guy? Yeah, do you come in to work on time? So think about how that could totally annihilate if AI annihilates the service sector, and now robotics. If I I'm assuming these are insanely prohibitively expensive, yeah, and it'll be a long time before this goes far, but imagine not only all the high-level service sector jobs are gone, but robotics annihilates all of the blue-collar, highly skilled labor jobs.

SPEAKER_04

Well, I don't, you know, I know that it's highly skilled, but I think part of the highly skilled part of it is so you don't die. Um the the the the the they have to do all these things to make sure that the um that they're properly grounded and everything else. I don't think it's really um technically difficult. I think the skill is making sure you don't die.

SPEAKER_06

Well, that's part of it, but it's also I know as a property manager, yeah, I mean, you know, plumbing and electrical stuff, it doesn't just do itself, it's not like changing a remote battery.

SPEAKER_05

Yay, we're saving an electrician's lives. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Now it's they they and you still do just like with truck driving with Tesla, yeah. They still need people directing them around, and you still need someone monitoring them and or doing the labor.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

But you're just doing it remotely.

SPEAKER_05

Well, it's kind of like building. Building cars. I mean they've been doing it for years. Automated.

SPEAKER_06

Well, and that's something that's more algorithmic and easy. But when you're doing electrician stuff, plumbing stuff, etc., Amazon just had a or not Amazon, they just had their first 3D printed house. They they built a whole$300,000 house in like 20 days, all with 3D printing and just having laborers put it together.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I've seen that on YouTube before. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

That was another story for Wild. Yeah. So imagine that. So now it's taking highly skilled labor, which also requires that that employs a lot of people in the construction. All I need is AI and 3D printer. 3D home and one Chinese robot, and then you're good to go.

SPEAKER_04

As one massive 3D printer, though.

SPEAKER_05

I got some pipe that I gotta go on the ground. You know what's funny?

SPEAKER_06

That was one of the No. If I'm gonna lay pipe, I'm gonna do it myself. Yeah, Graham will be here later to film that. That's some something going on the dark web. A new episode. That's that's a different podcast. But yeah, it's uh when your your new worker is just run on lithium and you you don't have to pay them anything, you buy them once, and it's just a done deal. I can imagine uh how how that's gonna but who's gonna mine the lithium? Chinese robots five-year-olds in a build or iPhones. That's right. Uh moving on down the India Times. A South Korean woman, 21-year-old woman from South Korea, killed two young men researching lethal drug combinations on Chat GPT. So this uh this changes up how you uh approach online dating. So Yeah, Steve. Yeah, don't leave your drink now.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

According to investigators, she searched for information about the effects of mixing alcohol with powerful psychiatric medications and then used sedatives containing benzodiazepines uh in drinks she served to victims. Authorities say at least two men have died connected to her poisoning drinks, and she admitted to mixing the drugs, but claimed she didn't realize the doses would be lethal.

SPEAKER_04

I that sounds that that sounds plausible to me. I think she was just trying to dope them up so she could take advantage of them.

SPEAKER_06

That's what women usually do. Yeah. They they drug men and don't try to kill them.

SPEAKER_00

No. So much for my weekly trip to Korea.

SPEAKER_04

Come on, as if it's only once a week.

SPEAKER_06

Um Steve has his own silk road to uh midnight a you happen there over here. And Steve said he filled his pool with international water, so I knew he was dripping with something. Well, now when uh when Will's human skin body temperature robots come, it'll make it that much cheaper.

SPEAKER_04

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_06

Uh put the toot in absolutely. That's right. No more now. We're dealing with the prostitute industry. What are they gonna do on Yopon?

SPEAKER_04

Well, that's it. You roll up there and go, C3PO, come on over here. You want to party?

SPEAKER_06

Is that technically prostitution if you do it to a robot?

SPEAKER_04

No, it's called ATM.

SPEAKER_06

There's gonna be a lot of loopholes. The uh SC uh statehouse is gonna have to close.

SPEAKER_04

So Statehouse and Holes.

SPEAKER_06

So another story this week. There were a lot of juicy ones this week. Uh Jim Carrey. Everyone loves Jim Carrey.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Bruce Almighty, Ace Ventura. The mask. The mask.

SPEAKER_05

Now he's wearing a mask, a real mask.

SPEAKER_06

Oh, this is just the live uh live version of the mask.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, yeah, or the genie from uh uh Aladdin. Yeah. That was always cool.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, I think uh those Rob Williams. Oh you're getting a famous nine Disa. Get it getting them all mixed up. So the internet exploded with conspiracy theories after Jim Carrey appeared at the Caesar Awards in Paris looking slightly different than usual. Slightly? Slightly. Social media users started claiming he had been replaced by a clone of some kind of impersonator because his face looked fuller and his eyelids looked uh slightly altered. The theory spread so widely that even Megan Fox was asking whether Jim Carrey was uh was real at the event. And eventually performance artists like Alexis Stone hinted online they may have actually been there wearing a uh a realistic Jim Carrey mask.

SPEAKER_04

I mean, it it it this the eye colors were different. That's the thing that gets me.

SPEAKER_06

When Steve was talking about aliens in the last show, and you have Illuminati and you have all this stuff, yeah. I don't know what to believe. His eyes were different, his cheekbones were different. He had some sort of patch-looking flap on the side of his botched up plastic surgery job. It's either botched up Hollywood plastic surgery or sounds like the ammo of the lizard people.

SPEAKER_05

Who else is scaling? That's right. Shed my skin like uh Peter Cabrew would say.

SPEAKER_06

I think it was the second ace Ventura, it opened up with some people in the safari in Africa that's looking at the family.

SPEAKER_03

Yep.

SPEAKER_06

And they go and he's hiding in a robotic rhino, and the AC went out, and he proceeded to slowly go face first out of the rhinoceros' sphincter. This family thought he was giving birth. And a blood naked Jim Carrey pops out. So, you know, who else are gonna do these scenes and movies if we don't have the original Jim Carrey?

SPEAKER_04

Well, I think uh uh Hoffman still has his uh his card for the union to do those things, can't you?

SPEAKER_06

You still have your passport for uh African safaris?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

No, I had to stop that.

SPEAKER_06

There's a lot of things legal in Africa. Well, once you get far enough in the jungle.

SPEAKER_04

I mean, I but okay. So let's say, say, for instance, we'll we'll go on the wild side, and it was they did replace him. The question is why?

SPEAKER_06

Well, that's what people were saying. He's too funny, he's too funny, we can't lose it.

SPEAKER_05

That's right. We can't have funny people here. This is serious America.

SPEAKER_06

This is very serious. That's right. Next Robin Williams will be coming back.

SPEAKER_00

But he's always been a clone. You know, how many characters has he play played? Oh, that's true. How many personalities has he played? You know, he's a human clone.

SPEAKER_06

Jim Carey, the Sybil of Yeah, when he was outfire. Yeah, Miss Taper. Well, which is another Robin Williams once, but he had a mask on. Yeah, that's like a clone. Why don't they bring back Robin Williams if they're gonna bring back one of the genius? What what was that? Uh it was like a competitor to SNL in Living Color? In Living Coloring Color. Yeah, so he was always there. Yeah, early Jim Carrey. He used to do Fire Marshall Bill. Who was that? Who was that one where he would like shave his head like a skull? That was fire marshall bill. Fire Marshall Bell.

SPEAKER_00

Fifty years from now, researchers will find that there have been many clones in the entertainment industry.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Many clones.

SPEAKER_06

A lot of clones look a little cold-blooded. Uh I wanted to include at least one political story. Uh-oh. So, oh yeah. So, on the 28th, at like 130 a.m. Trump apparently bombed the shit out of Iran. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly bombed the fucking daylights out of Iran and killed all their leaders. I don't know if this has been verified yet.

SPEAKER_00

And they killed the Ayatollah.

SPEAKER_06

Killed the Ayatollah comedian. And now it's about a week later, and they want to replace him with the Ayatollah's son.

SPEAKER_04

Second son.

SPEAKER_06

Second son.

SPEAKER_04

I think the first one that got killed.

SPEAKER_06

I know Akhmadinijad got killed. All these people got killed. It said on uh uh I'm forgetting the website was on, I don't have it in my notes. Uh, basically, the highest probability prediction is that the Islamic Revolutionary Guard, the ghost military that kind of runs the country is just going to take over. And they they will decide instead of the clerical rulers who's going to appoint uh the next leader.

SPEAKER_04

Well, this is this is the problem. They have been the the ruling class anyway. All this other stuff has just been window dressing. And um the problem is they don't have anybody stupid enough to volunteer to be the window dressing anymore because they keep going up. The other issue that they have with the uh the the generals are getting killed too, um, that are in this leadership position. They're losing control of the regular army. Now, not not the the uh the the guard, you know, the the special forces, but the regular army's been like not showing up for work.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, right, would you?

SPEAKER_04

Well, uh but here's here's the thing they're not showing up for work, but they still have their arms. So, you know, they're they're getting ready to say, okay, we're we're gonna wait until the Kurds, the Saudis, and all the other people that are gonna be the boots on the ground get in here. Because the United States should be smart, just keep our boots out of there and let everybody else put their boots in there because Azerbaijan has their their military uh now lined up on the borders.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, the Iranians made a big mistake when they bombed Azerbaijan.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, yeah. I mean, they've been they've been bullies for so long that everybody is starting to say, hey, this might be our shot to uh get get back at him.

SPEAKER_00

Well, and here's So the good news is the Ayatollah's dead. The bad news is he's now eligible to vote in Democrat Party primary.

SPEAKER_05

And he gets a 72 wives, doesn't he? When they die?

SPEAKER_06

I think 72, yeah. That's the most recent count, I think.

SPEAKER_05

I don't know if I can do that. I can I can only handle one. That's it.

SPEAKER_04

I mean, what why would you want your own form of hell?

SPEAKER_06

72 virgins, you might uh that might require some Viagra, you might end up dying again. I don't know if you can make it through that.

SPEAKER_04

Well, that's what they were saying about his son at you, too. They were saying about his son had been taking trips to uh Great Britain to have his ED, his erectile dysfunction um worked on. This guy is not exactly Mochismo as far as uh leadership positions there.

SPEAKER_06

Um Yeah, well, you know, something that was funny about this. Trump said this was not regime change. No. Then he said the regime must change, and he was going to approve who the leader was going to be. So they weren't gonna choose this next Aitola as of this morning.

SPEAKER_05

Just like they did in Venezuela.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, well, what they exactly exactly. It's the uh they could have had a regime change uh on their own a long time ago when he said, Okay, you know, come to the table and and let's negotiate. And all they did was a step and fetch it so they could do stuff behind uh closed doors and behind our backs, and they kept doing it and kept doing it. Now they're reaching out to all these different um like the CIA and and so on to say we want to have some negotiations and real talks now. Trump's like, nope, too late.

SPEAKER_06

Well, I wonder because Marco Rubio let something Arugula. Marco Arugula is a Freudian slip. Mr. Arugula. Uh he let it slip. Well, it's hard to say because everyone's saying something different, but he said, Oh, Trump had already said on Truth Social, we're they were about to bomb us, which Aaron did not have intercontinental missiles. Now Marco Rubio came out and said, Oh, Israel was gonna invade first, and we just preempted it. So there's been about 11, 12 different versions. It's called Trump. I think all of them are true.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, who's asshole?

SPEAKER_06

I think depending on what time of day it is for Trump, because John Bolton came out, the king of neocon invasions, and he said when right after this bombing campaign happened, he said Trump would have like five, six positions on one issue over the course of one day.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

So it might all be true.

SPEAKER_04

Well, I think it is. I think it's it's it's all true.

SPEAKER_00

I think the only acceptable result for the U.S. is if the people of Iran rose up and took over the government. One big problem, they don't have weapons. What their guns number two big problems.

SPEAKER_04

Six sense stuff. Number one big problems. The people who really did have the balls to rise up all got murdered about a month and a half ago. So they late the other short.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah. Well, and here's the thing with Iran. So on the probabilities of what's going to happen, number one was the Revolutionary Guard taking over. Number two was the other normal military taking over. Right. Number three was the clerical class taking over. And number four, at like five percent likelihood was the general population taking over. Right. Because they have so many speed bumps and power dynamics in that country.

SPEAKER_04

Well, one one of the um one of the scenarios they were having for their quote directive regime change was to have the uh uh the crown prince, the the Shah's son, uh come in and take over until they have j uh created a new um constitution and new general elections. My feeling is that that's what they're going to try to do is to have them come to an unconditional surrender, which I mean, let's face it, folks, it has not been one week yet. Tomorrow it'll be one week, right? So it I mean, we're one week into this forever war. It doesn't, to me, it doesn't look like it's gonna be forever because they've wiped out, well, we'll see. We've already wiped out their their uh their uh their navy, we've wiped out their air force, uh their intercon or their bul their ballistic missiles, even when they do hide and seek, have been eliminated. Their drones have been starting to be eliminated, and um now they can't, they're they're completely enclosed on land because they've pissed off all their neighbors. Even you know, you've got the Kurds that are uh in the north that have got them, and then on the that we're arming now. Well, we we were before, but yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Um formal over the but actually the the Kurds have been armed forever by the Israelis, which Kurds are also total communists, and they're a uh a total wild card, and they were part of the problem with Iraq.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, yeah, yeah. If you go back 20 years to Arab Spring, you can see the handwriting on the wall. We're gonna replace one evil, and another evil is gonna crop up.

SPEAKER_04

Well, that's that's that's how it's it's done. But then you've got the Azerbaijanis um on their uh uh on their east side, and then on the west, you've just got waterway, which they can't do anything with now because they don't have any navy, like we were saying. They're completely economically, and then they they can't do anything with oil or anything else there. And the Chinese have just been like, Oh, we don't remember saying that. So they're not they're not helping at all.

SPEAKER_05

Well, that's another thing. Put a debt in the Chinese, what because China got probably 50% of their oil between Venezuela and Iran, yeah, and we shut that down.

SPEAKER_04

Not 50, 85 percent.

SPEAKER_05

We shut in China down. The economy is failing right now.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, yeah. Yeah. And the Chinese realize that, and that's why the gambit again, the Iranians missed off saying, well, we're emboldened because the Chinese will come and the Chinese are like, oh, not today.

SPEAKER_00

Which is really scary because there's a saying in the uh Mises world that when trade cannot cross borders, armies will.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, yeah, and they are about to. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00

Another thing, what's the name of this operation?

SPEAKER_04

Oh, something furry or fury or fur furry. That's why that's why we've got uh we have furry bush. Yeah. That's why we have we have we have Graham out there uh dressed up as a uh a rabbit. Hey, 30 minutes a terrible thing to place.

SPEAKER_00

So we have a forty thousand dollar Iranian pickup truck being obliterated by a five million dollar smart bomb.

SPEAKER_04

Nope.

SPEAKER_00

What could go wrong?

SPEAKER_04

No, it's not by a five million dollar, it's by a uh uh Tomahawk a$160 uh laser that's laser fire that goes out. So economically we're beating them too.

SPEAKER_06

Well, here's the thing. We're spending we're spending a billion a day bombing Iran. Yep and we only have 4,000 tomahawk missiles.

SPEAKER_04

Yep.

SPEAKER_06

And they're using 500 a day.

SPEAKER_04

And uh as of now. And we've been using um uh our laser technology to have their own explosives blow themselves up. That's how we eliminated part of their navy. Um the uh we have uh an actual uh group that uh uh assesses how much money goes against different things. We do not use, and this is this is a falsehood. We do not use uh tens of thousands of dollars to eliminate just a few thousand dollars of their drones. That has been completely eliminated.

SPEAKER_00

I have a more economical way of winning. We'll blast the entire country with headbanger music.

SPEAKER_05

I mean, that's the way we put it in our we're not gonna take it anymore. Rebel yet work for uh who didn't have a drawback. That's right.

SPEAKER_06

Okay. Well, and here's the thing this as of now is costing a billion a day, which is more than what Medicare costs. Marco Ruby said it was for Israel, and when during these Iran negotiations, uh we the Iran signed the non-proliferation treaty in the late 60s. So did Egypt. Yeah. Israel stole nuclear material out of Pennsylvania, which they now cover up, and you can't find any of the original documents on, and have the the most recent estimates are over 300 nuclear warheads. Yep. So they have when they did that while Egypt and Iran simultaneously signed the non-proliferation treaty, created a total imbalance.

SPEAKER_02

Yep.

SPEAKER_06

And Israel's a hyper-aggressive state, and they threaten all of their neighbors and all of the Middle East. Troublemakers, they're total troublemakers. Yeah, Iran during the Iran deal under Obama when he unfroze those funds, and Trump was saying we we're giving all this money to Iran, yeah. This like plane full of money. That was money we froze and took from them. Oh, yeah. Number one. Number two, on it, when we were negotiating with them recently, we already bombed them less than a year ago. Yeah. Bombed all their they're inspected by the IAEA there because they can't undo the non proliferation treaty. Right. Where Israel's inspected by no one and it's hidden that they don't even formally recognize that they have them.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Hundreds of nuclear weapons. So when we're negotiating with Iran, we have one country here who's constantly threatening them and is currently bombing them in the last year, along with the US, while we're telling them to not even have a nuclear weapons program or any kind of missile program. When Israel has also, over the past five years, gone in and assassinated people and assassinated scientists. Why are we protecting these?

SPEAKER_04

Now let's also explore something else that you left out was uh yeah, uh Obama unfroze it. Meanwhile, his Secretary of State, Ms. Clinton, uh gave f fissionable material to Iran. Right. Yeah. So she was. Well, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06

But here's the thing it's a total double standard. We don't hold Israel to any of these standards. And even when it's stated like Iran is the largest funder of terrorism, Saudi Arabia funds way more terrorism across the Middle East than Iran. And Israel initiates way more terrorism than Iran or all of the other Middle Eastern countries combined. Yep. And now no good.

SPEAKER_00

Can you spell APEC?

SPEAKER_06

Well, that's that's the uh elephant in the room. This is causing oil prices are over$80 a gallon. The Strait of Hormuz is closed down, they're threatening to put bombs into the waters.

SPEAKER_04

So Strait of Hormuz technically is not closed down. It's it's to a trickle, but it's not it's not closed down. And again, it's because quite frankly, they don't have a navy.

SPEAKER_05

But they're put our submarines in there, that's all. We can missile them right out of there.

SPEAKER_04

We you they we have not had a a ship sank um by a torpedo submarine since World War II until now.

SPEAKER_06

Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. What when was USS Liberty?

SPEAKER_00

The Strait of Hormos is closed because of the perceived level of risk. And the world insurance companies will not insure the oil tankers at the current situation.

SPEAKER_04

Well, and and we keep saying closed. It's folks, that's incorrect. It is open as far as 20% of what normally goes through is going through right now. So uh we cannot we we don't want to mislead people by saying it's closed. They're just threatening to attack ship. Yeah. Yeah. And and the the danger is for whatever missiles that they have remaining, um and and the few uh submarines that we haven't tracked down and blown out of the water.

SPEAKER_00

In order for it to be fully operational, though, you have to go through a risk mitigation exercise. You've got to get rid of all of the risks out there threatening those oil tankers, and that's gonna take some time. Do you get it?

SPEAKER_04

Do you know which which Navy is uh is patrolling to keep that 20% open and everything? What country has their navy doing that? It's not the United States.

SPEAKER_05

It's England. No, no, England's over there.

SPEAKER_04

I get that, but they're they're not the ones that are in charge of keeping the Gulf of Hormones open for the little trickle that's going through. The the country that is there, that's doing that, that has their navy there, is Turkey.

SPEAKER_02

Turkey.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Which is also the next country on the list after Iran that uh Israel's been threatening over the past year. They don't like so here's another interesting thing about what this unraveled. Finland and France came out in the last couple days and said they're going to build up their nuclear arsenal.

SPEAKER_04

Which I think is a great idea.

SPEAKER_06

If the world ends, it'll either be robotics AI or it's gonna be nukes.

SPEAKER_04

I think the world is gonna be taken over by the Finns.

SPEAKER_06

I think it's gonna be both. It's gonna be the Terminator. Yeah, the robots using nukes.

SPEAKER_00

Don't underestimate the Finns. They held off the Russians for many years. They actually won a war with the Russians.

SPEAKER_06

I don't know. Well, that's funny. That's when uh all the Trotskyites turned on Trotsky, is he was defending uh Stalin invading uh Finland. Yeah. And they couldn't believe he uh he was supposed to be the good guy. He was snowball in Animal Farm.

SPEAKER_02

Yep.

SPEAKER_06

Here's another thing to remember about Iran. We instituted the Shah in 1953, did a CIA coup. They overthrew the Shah in 79 in 79. Number one. Number two, the reason the probability of the general public taking over doing any sort of massive change is when you saw the Ayatollah Khamenei die, like a hundred thousand people came up to support the Ayatollah Khamenei. So they might not be as liberal-minded as people might think. Iraq was under a Ba'athist dictator, Syria and these other countries, Saddam Hussein was a minority uh religion running the majority of Iraq. It was like a literal dictator.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Some of these other countries are totally different. Iran is something like 90% Shia.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, and and which is a major, major problem because a majority of um the Middle East is Sunni.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

And they do not get along.

SPEAKER_00

Arab Spring all over again. Trip, you were right. Let them fight against each other.

SPEAKER_04

That's right.

SPEAKER_05

Maybe that's arm to the teeth. Yeah. He's trying to get a nice good old fight together.

SPEAKER_06

Let them fight amongst each other.

SPEAKER_04

On a positive note, I hope that we get to the point where we stop fighting each other and competing with each other with arms and aggression. Okay. And get to the point where we compete with ideas and commerce. Dubai is a good example. So that the better, yeah, that the better idea, the better services, the better goods is rewarded through a free market. And that is, I think, is the hope for the world is a free market.

SPEAKER_06

There is, I think Israel has like a free market in bombs.

SPEAKER_05

As Rodney King said, can't we all get along?

SPEAKER_06

This could turn into a total mess. Yeah. And Tucker came out. He did a couple of videos on, I guess Hag Seth said something about he wants to take down the Temple Mount and institute something on the other. I think the problem might be they read it a little too, they're interpreting a couple sentences a little too uh closely and militantly. Too literally, uh which is a minority view in Christianity about what Tucker was saying. Tucker's an evangelical Christian. He was saying Christianity basically views uh Jesus as the temple. And Jews, Orthodox Jews, are the ones that are wanting to rip down and send missiles to blow up the dome on the rock and institute a third temple.

SPEAKER_05

Right, which is right there at the rock.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, yeah. They have a mosque from 1300 years ago on top of the map. That's where the temple is supposed to be built. Yeah. So Tucker comes out basically opposing this, and Trump last night came out and said Tucker, because he was basically saying this isn't America First, this is a war for Israel, all pretty commonly observed things. And he said, Tucker is not MAGA, I am MAGA, and Tucker's really stupid. So that's how he's dealt with the America First uh MAGA people so far in this last week.

SPEAKER_04

If you don't get smashed. Yeah, I'm an individualist. I think they should get rid of the whole thing that's on the temple and build a giant Timu mall.

SPEAKER_06

That would be good. A Timu style mall on the temple. What if we just nuked the whole rock down and put it up a Timu? We'd get rid of the Israeli-Palestine goblin. Well, right now, the the Temple Mount and the Dome on the Rock and Alaksk Mosque or whatever is uh in East Jerusalem, which is technically Palestinian territory. Right. And they have kind of uh almost international city Vatican style agreement, kind of where Israel patrols the outside, the Arab countries, mainly Jordan, kind of control the inside, and it's all like a Mexican standoff.

SPEAKER_04

Right.

SPEAKER_06

Uh when Trump said it's a unified Jerusalem, that's just all the capital of Israel now, that escalated things in his first term, and that was considered uh a provocation, and is also not really America First. Uh but when Tucker got decapitated yesterday, he's been wording his shows kind of directed at Trump.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

And he was until now consistently speaking to Trump.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

And Laura Loomer came out and said, I just showed a bunch of clips from your show to Trump on Twitter just to threaten Tucker. And then like two days later, all of a sudden Trump's dumping uh Tucker on his head. Who's also the highest uh streaming conservative online.

SPEAKER_04

This is just ratings gold for him online because the more controversy and the more that's stirred up that the more people have to be.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, well, he got fired over, didn't when uh who bought over C Nox?

SPEAKER_04

He's talking about Christopher.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, that's right. He put her as a new secretary of some other random ass uh committee.

SPEAKER_04

Here's the debate that some people are having is did he fire her over uh the two million dollar or billion dollar whatever advertisement that was featuring her for the uh department, or did he fire her over her supposed uh uh affair.

SPEAKER_06

Oh, affair planes and it's hard to say. Uh a lot of the people online were saying over the affair, but it's it's you know, who knows?

SPEAKER_05

Trump was jealous he wasn't gonna get a piece of that ass.

SPEAKER_06

She does have the Mar-a-Lago face, so does Lori Loomer.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

But to to end it on a non-political lighter note.

SPEAKER_04

And is it to have Mar-a-Lago face?

SPEAKER_06

Brittany Spears. We just talked about Britney Spears the other week. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

She's she's our pigeon.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, she just sold her catalog of all her music, and everyone was questioning her judgment.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

And now she was arrested for a DY outside of her home in LA.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Sent to jail. They haven't released a mugshot as far as I know.

SPEAKER_04

No.

SPEAKER_06

As Brittany part of MK Ultra. As Steve Hoffman.

SPEAKER_00

Yes. He's definitely had some mind warping going on there. Yeah. That video of her house with the cat turds all over the place. Oh, yeah. That's a dead giveaway right there.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Steve has his ticket ready. He's ready to go out to California and give her some personal uh you know assistance to straighten her out.

SPEAKER_00

In a live interview, she triggered on one word and went ballistic for about five minutes. That's a that's a sign of NK Ultra.

SPEAKER_06

Well, I think she's just like California sober.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_04

What was the word?

SPEAKER_00

I I forget.

SPEAKER_05

If you're not driving junk, you're not California sober.

SPEAKER_00

But it's almost like a Manchurian candidate, you know. Yeah. She just triggers on one word. And by the way, that was developed by the CIA.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Yep. I think there's Amanda Bynes, was it like a Nickelodeon star. Yeah. She went totally out of her mind, and I think Shane.

SPEAKER_03

I loved her movies. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah. She went totally nuts. Brittany Spears, it was shocking. If pop music in like the late 90s, early 2000s.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Brittany Spears was like Justin Bieber in One Direction, all these combined. She was like the largest mega.

SPEAKER_00

She was the queen. Yeah. Yeah. She just has a couple of issues.

SPEAKER_06

A couple minor issues that put her under guardianship. Finally. I wonder when they pulled her over if if it was uh solely over DUI or if there was some sort of uh reckless endangerment or disorderly or any butt-naked sword swinging or smell of it.

SPEAKER_00

Hoffman wasn't there. Smell a cat doo doo coming from our car.

SPEAKER_06

The the fumes you don't don't people with uh indoor cats get like worms or some sort of brain parasite that felines give off that they've mutated?

SPEAKER_04

Okay. The cat passed away a while ago, so that's not what my problem is. Okay. I know what you're aiming at. My brain worms are natural.

SPEAKER_06

I'm just talking about Joe Rogan. He he said something about they get like a parasite like in their Oh, you're just having a war on ivermectin.

SPEAKER_00

A little combination of ivermectin and fenbenazole. We'll get rid of those worms.

SPEAKER_06

Do you think ivermectin would fix Brittany?

SPEAKER_04

We can get that chemist out of South Korea and she could figure it out.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I don't know if they make that that heavy of those.

SPEAKER_06

You'd have to start guzzling ivermectin to deal with her issues. But yeah, I just thought I'd uh end it on Britney. Britney's always fun. Oh, absolutely. She's known for shaving her head.

SPEAKER_04

And other things.

SPEAKER_06

Other things. Ad shit in online videos, getting uh live streaming on Instagram naked, playing with knives.

SPEAKER_00

She uh I guess she's kind of the Steve Hoffman of the popular nothing like a woman who plays with knives.

SPEAKER_06

Maybe she can take a trip to your pool international waters and do some experimentation.

SPEAKER_04

The baptism.

SPEAKER_06

Steve Hoffman baptism. That that cures everything. Steve Hoffman's always going on these gambling boats in international waters. He knows what shenanigans he's that's right. That's right.

SPEAKER_00

Only place you can get legalized drugs in the drugstore. Mexico.

SPEAKER_06

He has these Ivermectin gambling parties. It's it's it's pretty wild.

SPEAKER_03

That's right. Nobody knows what goes on in the moose lodge. What goes on in the moose lodge stays in the moose lodge. Talking about the Illuminati. Keep it within the herd.

SPEAKER_00

On my last trip of in Playa del Carmen, most of my pictures are of drugstores.

SPEAKER_06

It's been the way you have a long job of finding a title for this one. This this will you'll have to take some notes on whatever idle shit we just said for the last hour.

SPEAKER_04

Well, this has been a fantastic and fun time here in the monkey barrel. Uh stay tuned next week, and we'll have even more fun coming out of these monkeys behind the microphone. And um, if you are desiring to find out more about Americans for Prosperity, go to LibertyCrackmedia.com and sign up for our monthly newsletter, and you can get one of these really cool uh swag merchandise things like we were mentioning before. And um, tune into uh conversations with the hoff if you want to find out even more details on that. And if you want to find out about books, hit bookworm bookworm mom. That's correct. Uh but if you want to find out anything about all these wonderful entertaining podcasts, go to libertycrackmedia.com. Say goodbye, guys. Bye, guys.

SPEAKER_01

Here we go, walking down the street. Got the gold, no tax system, free to speak, and free to drive.