The Zuckerfish AI Butt Hole Episode

In this episode, the monkeys address AI-Powered Pet Translators, Bio-Engineered Artificial Eggs, Manta Rays Anal Retention via Suckerfish, Shoplifter's Impossible "Body Cavity" Hiding Spot, Monkeys Eating Dirt, Armed 3-Year-Olds, and Japan's Robot Wolves...

Check out the Tripp (and Graham) has Issues podcast!

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Here we come, walking down on the street. Got the goal, no taxes to me. Free to speak and free to trade. Markets up, no need for one of the microphone monkeys. People say we're around our kids funkies. Going too busy being free. Hey, we're the microphone monkeys.

SPEAKER_06 0:29

Hey guys, this is microphone monkeys. And we have for the first time, I think, in a month, the all five people here today. We found the monkeys. The monkeys, uh, the baboon barrel, monkey barrel. Cheeky cheeky. Hey, it's all uh so we have Dark Webb at Maring. Yay! The brand new nickname. That's a good one. Third eye Atherton. Mafia Mike, the concrete shoe uh specialist.

SPEAKER_03 1:01

That's right. Back from his adventure. I don't I dumped a few bodies overboard.

SPEAKER_06 1:08

He was gone a little extra long this time out in international waters to have a square. And then we have this the Hoff, this uh sergeant Steve, Stone Cold Steve Hoffman.

SPEAKER_00 1:25

Just celebrated my not yet 80 birthday. Yeah. You're an old fart, aren't you? Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:34

When's your birthday?

SPEAKER_00 1:35

May 17th. May 17th. Everybody should know that. That's Norwegian Independence Day.

SPEAKER_06 1:40

Oh. Oh. Everyone knows that.

SPEAKER_05 1:44

When did that happen?

unknown 1:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:47

Go out and get your Ludafisk or whatever they're gonna have. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:50

They freed themselves from the Swedes.

SPEAKER_06 1:53

Ah, those Norwegians. Are you Norwegian?

SPEAKER_00 1:57

Yeah, sure. You betcha, don't you? That's Minnesota. That's far going.

SPEAKER_06 2:03

Poika. Viking. Leave them alone. So I found seven stories this morning. It was actually, I looked through all of my like 15 sources, and that was all I could find this week. Really?

SPEAKER_05 2:18

His his incredible research. It took him all morning.

SPEAKER_06 2:22

All morning, a full hour. You gotta put in more of an effort than this is just anarchy. So no order, no preparing. So the first one I have is AI related.

SPEAKER_05 2:39

Like really? AI. Michikaku. We never talk about Michikaku.

SPEAKER_06 2:45

Michokaku.

SPEAKER_01 2:46

Michukaku's back.

SPEAKER_06 2:49

Uh in China. In China, there's a startup company that created an AI-powered pet translator with 95% accuracy on dogs and cats.

SPEAKER_04 3:03

Wait a minute. Wait.

SPEAKER_06 3:04

It translates animal language?

SPEAKER_04 3:07

Sounds 95% accuracy. Like, how do we know if we don't know what animals are saying to begin with? Come on. I thought it was like human languages.

SPEAKER_06 3:16

Well, you match it with their behavior and their emotions, and they're just making sounds, and it's a very simple type of communication.

SPEAKER_04 3:22

Wait a minute. Is it this only analyzing audio? Or is it analyzing facial expression? Just I'm not buying it. This is kind of like this. Hey, check this out.

SPEAKER_06 3:38

Where's this from? Botswani Times? Not Botswani, it's still Hindu Times. Very high journalistic standards in India.

SPEAKER_04 3:48

Oh man. Is this really from India Times? Come on, dude. Yeah, forget.

SPEAKER_06 3:56

You need to hear the full story. Oh, give me a little skeptic. Give me, yeah. Oh my god. Like Skeptic magazine. I thought you were open to these.

SPEAKER_04 4:06

Look, I want this. I really want this, but this sounds like a big thing.

SPEAKER_06 4:09

Imagine if this goes into birds. They have little bird cards. Like I said, I want it. I'm all for it. Well, you have to listen to the story and be open-minded. Okay. So while uh most commercial pet translator apps are largely created with entertainment in mind, this Hang Zhao-based tech startup claims their new pet translator is the real deal. As long as the pet is wearing the device around its neck, the translator can recognize vocalizations, emotions, and behavioral language with 95% accuracy. And Meng Xiaoi launched pre-orders, and they've already had 10,000 units sell. One of the red flags reported was that they they were skeptical of any actual data.

SPEAKER_02 5:05

But it's just a lot of data's noise.

SPEAKER_06 5:27

Darren instead of being a total skeptic. We've switched hats now. Now you're the materialist skeptic, and I'm a You're transitioning again. I'm transitioning once again. So according to Meng Xiao, the AI translator was built on Tongyi Qianwen, large-scale uh model technology, and has accumulated millions of voice print data points on pet behavior and language, which allows it to recognize vocalizations, uh, emotions, and behavioral language with high accuracy.

SPEAKER_05 6:08

Okay. So they either have to pee, they have to poop, they're hungry, or they saw a squirrel. I mean, that's that's you know that's the binary view of it.

SPEAKER_04 6:20

Yeah, that's the line.

SPEAKER_06 6:21

Well, what if you start to go species to species?

SPEAKER_04 6:24

They're gonna see a lot of difference. But it's our interpretation of what they're saying through these large language models that's suspect.

SPEAKER_06 6:32

It is, but look at dolphins, look at all other species that communicate. We can correlate what they're doing what phenomenon and what it associates with. All languages is we have sounds and written word that are associated with phenomena.

SPEAKER_03 6:49

Yeah, and and they're communicating, it's just how we interpret it. We can't even talk to people across the land and understand them. We're gonna understand animals.

SPEAKER_04 7:02

Yeah, that's true. I mean, half the time I don't understand these Republicans what they're saying.

SPEAKER_03 7:07

I don't even understand people in South Carolina in some parts.

SPEAKER_06 7:11

Well, they might, if Mike puts us on, they might say some sort of union intimidation accent going on. They might put it on will and have a straight up Fargo, Wisconsin.

SPEAKER_05 7:21

Uh oh, you can't get me there.

SPEAKER_04 7:25

Holy cow, there is not right yet. Yeah, but but we know there's different dialects. I mean, they've been studying that with Corvids with crows. It's like the crows in England don't sound like the crows' hair. I'm just picked.

SPEAKER_06 7:36

I it's all just noises. I'll just noise. I mean, yeah. Well, what if you put these on like one of those hairless cats and give me the coat wants to like do organ extraction? Give me the coat.

SPEAKER_05 7:53

When you say hairless cats, are you talking about bald pussies?

SPEAKER_06 7:56

That's we're getting into dark web territory. This is a little thing to be. This isn't gonna be in your tape. I guess they're one of the episodes.

SPEAKER_03 8:05

Anyone under 18 don't listen to this.

SPEAKER_06 8:08

He's brainstorming again.

SPEAKER_04 8:11

That's the title for uh Steve's awfully quiet over there, Steve. What do you think of these talking animals?

SPEAKER_00 8:16

I need to I need to get one of those things because when my Dachshund looks at me with those weepy looking eyes and goes, Arf, arf. I don't know if she says, give me food, or if she's saying, you better take me out, or I'm gonna leave a present on the on the Carolina room floor. Christmas gift.

SPEAKER_05 8:32

She's probably saying, get your foot off my tail.

SPEAKER_06 8:36

Or if they get these events, then they might put it on Steve and say it's like windowless van energy. They might put it on Darren and you get a chakra frequency raven.

SPEAKER_05 8:48

Well, you know, they've been coming out with these uh smart glasses now, yeah, and every month they've got a new iteration of smart glasses, and I'm sure they're gonna have it instead of just where you can look at a foreign um language sign and it it interpreted itself. That's already here. Yeah, where where you're gonna be able to look at your dog and say, needs to poop. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_04 9:11

Yeah, or although all those guys were just laid off, weren't they? There were like 8,000 of them at Facebook laid off at 4 a.m. Yeah. That's yeah, but hey, they can probably uh talk to the AI version of um you know Zuckerberg. Right on their way out, asking a question, why am I going?

SPEAKER_06 9:30

Well, who was it uh Tucker showing commercials from like five or ten years ago when he launched Meta as like a VR thing and it had Zuckerberg as like an AI emoji looking he was an emoji character, yeah. Yeah. That's if you it goes compound, and we barely understand humans, but AI is so much more advanced. You you take millions of data points, you take all these little sounds and manure mannerisms and vocalizations and behavior things. Look at that, who's that magician guy who was just at the White House correspondence thing that owes Pearlman?

SPEAKER_05 10:04

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 10:05

He looks at these little micro things and like elimination process approximates down to like your credit card number and your PIN numbers.

SPEAKER_03 10:13

The thing is, how credible could any of this be when man's the one who created AI?

SPEAKER_06 10:20

Well, it's like a uh objective phenomenon. So it's like when we use math or language or logic, you're you're reaching a reality, objective reality.

SPEAKER_03 10:30

You know what this is? This is get back from all those nerdy kids back in school. This might be revenge.

SPEAKER_05 10:37

The ones you use the pants?

SPEAKER_03 10:38

The one I used to beat the hell out.

SPEAKER_04 10:42

They're all unemployed now. They've been replaced.

SPEAKER_06 10:46

They're kind of cannibalizing themselves taught their replacements. This is nerd on nerd violence.

SPEAKER_04 10:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 10:51

The nerds are coming up.

SPEAKER_04 10:53

Nerd on nerd annihilation. Can you sit here for the next 12 hours and just repeat your behavior so uh we can train our bot to replace you?

SPEAKER_00 11:02

Most of you are thinking linear about the the advances in technology. Since the invention of the computer, the advances have not been linear, they've been exponential. So that's why we're seeing this stuff today that our grandkids or our parents could never even think about. You know, they couldn't imagine it. Because we're on an exponential curve, and who knows what's going to happen in the future.

SPEAKER_06 11:26

Well, think about the first paper came out in 2017, so that's like Trump's first term. The first AI came out during the Biden term, and now it's going totally exponential during Trump's second term. This is less than 10 years.

SPEAKER_04 11:38

Yeah, but AI's been cooking for a long time.

SPEAKER_06 11:40

It's been machine learning, everything's been going on for about 25 years. But that was true of the internet and computers too.

SPEAKER_04 11:46

They start getting integrated circuits in the 60s, and they just didn't have the chips, the it was a processing power, and also too, all this internet data. Yeah. Right? The ability to query data, these language models are queries of gigantic databases. So it's processing speed, right? Server farms, that kind of thing.

SPEAKER_03 12:04

Is this all coming from the data centers?

SPEAKER_04 12:07

Yeah. Well, I mean the data centers are doing that, but they're they're doing much more than just that.

SPEAKER_05 12:12

Well, I had heard that uh their freakout in the CCP is that they have been using their um uh Chinese branded AI, and they're trying to uh see how their uh economic structure can uh rule the world, and the AI c kicked back and said it can't. And they're freaking out because their plans aren't going through.

SPEAKER_03 12:41

Well, their economic model isn't gonna work.

SPEAKER_05 12:43

The economic model doesn't work because the AI is pretty much telling them free market capitalism is the only way to go.

SPEAKER_04 12:50

Yeah, but the thing is, it's like we talked about this before. When you start to become a resource-based economy, when you're generating your own resources in your own locality, yeah, your market changes. When you throw AI into service-related things with robotics, your market changes, we're moving into a new economic model. The fastest way to win is obviously capitalism, like open capitalism, like get rid of the patents and get rid of all that stuff and let people innovate and create.

SPEAKER_02 13:18

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 13:19

But you're gonna reach that point where you hit a new economic model that none of us know how to deal with. Yeah, and it's not in the history books, only history book.

SPEAKER_05 13:26

Only capitalism can react because it's yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 13:30

Well, and China's basically done a narrow, isolated, they're trying to do a mixed economy controlled capitalism. Yeah, yeah, they're controlling everybody. Yeah, but I will say China, if we're not far from it, bird's eye view, their debts like 80 or 90 percent of GDP, ours is like over a hundred. Yeah, we're over. They haven't been in a uh actual direct war in like 40 years, and it was like a little week-long skirmish. We're flailing if I talk to that. We create a war every year. Yeah, we've doubled our debt in 10 years. So there's you picked up the capitalism. But that's not the American model of not capitalism.

SPEAKER_04 14:09

Yeah, our thing to do with capitalism.

SPEAKER_06 14:13

No, I know, but I'm saying the full economic system of your long-term.

SPEAKER_04 14:18

They act like you could have a model that's free market capitalism within your city, within your state. They act like it is possible for you to actually go ahead and do this. The same way they act like it's possible for you to have a communist socialist town and state within your country, but we're not doing it. And see, that's the thing. If like like if New Hampshire really did its free market thing and made it happen, and if New York really did its communist thing and made it happen, we'd start to see these advancements take place. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:51

The correlation between economic model and political model is getting very, very fuzzy. One of the freest countries today for a business or for a person to go and live free is Vietnam. And yet the political uh culture is a communist party in complete control. But you have more freedom in Vietnam today, individual and economic freedom, than you do in the United States. So that old model about uh you can only be free if uh you live in a uh representative republic or a democracy. That's total BS.

SPEAKER_06 15:27

That's a lie. Yeah, well, and divide. It's interesting the more convoluted histories of all these. Why did China finally let up? It was similar to the Soviet Union. They had to alter their model after the Maoist cultural revolution, and capitalism is private ownership of means of production, but their mixed model has all these government interventions and government-owned land, and uh everyone technically works through the CCP.

SPEAKER_04 15:56

Well, you're working through the CCP here, it's like we're working with the government here. I mean, what percentage of your income goes to the government? You're you're working for the government, yeah, right? So it's very similar to that model. They just won't let their foot off people's necks.

SPEAKER_05 16:11

I think the scare, I think the the the biggest fear that they found out is that they uh that their model through AI is saying AI says it don't work, which we've been saying all along.

SPEAKER_06 16:26

Well, there was an interesting Mises Institute thing on the economic calculation problem that Mises, Ludwig von Mises talked about. They were pointing out even with AI and quantum computing, it's still you have trillions of individual transactions. Yeah, there's no top-down way to do it. It's spontaneous order that Hayek talked about. Everyone adapts at a micro scale.

SPEAKER_05 16:44

And AI points that out. It says we can't do it because there will never be enough data for us to associate that. Therefore, the best m way for things to do it is free market capitalism.

SPEAKER_03 16:58

Unless it's unless it's capped to only a select few that can put the information in. Yeah, that's where we're out of it.

SPEAKER_06 17:07

I could see a micromanaging tyrannical technocrat coming up with some weird I mean, it's what China does. They try to do these isolated controlled top-down versions of it.

SPEAKER_04 17:17

Well they're doing it here too. Yeah, and here. They're doing it, they're doing it on a real large scale with these multi- multi-corporations, I mean, that are in bed with the government, so it's the same level of control. I mean, you've got some freedom to exchange and some freedom to profit. They pick and choose who gets to uh merge and who doesn't get to merge, and they pick and choose who gets a loan. Yeah. Right? And they're controlling the money supply, so the money is controlled, and then the medical care is controlled, so is the education.

SPEAKER_00 17:43

The biggest freedom we have is the freedom to walk, and it's called how many, how money walks. Look at the states that are tyrannical that have massive amounts of government control. People are leaving those states and going to other states in the United States where there's less government control. And uh states like Illinois, California, Massachusetts, New York, they're losing billions of dollars a year that are going to southern states or Texas or Florida or something.

SPEAKER_03 18:12

Well, I'm kind of questioning I'm kind of questioning that one because I drove up there a couple weeks ago, and I'm like, what the fuck? There's so many people up there still.

SPEAKER_06 18:22

Well, it's probably the most densely populated part of the U.S. But I know that. I used to live up there. Well, look at Mom Donnie. What just happened with uh who was the guy he called out in that ad where he took the class? I I'm forgetting his name right now. But he basically said, Oh, we're just moving all everything to Florida. And for 30 years, it's been slowly transitioning on the population where they've been moving from California to Texas and moving to the United States.

SPEAKER_05 18:48

Well, you know, and that's not what hurt them the worse, is because they they had uh an infrastructure program that he was funding. And he said, Well, I guess I won't do that. That was like three billion dollar infrastructure. That's what AOC did to Bezos. Yeah. Same thing. I mean in the same city. Yeah. Uh genius. Absolutely. Oh, Ken Griffin, I think.

SPEAKER_04 19:09

Yeah. I mean, there's a there was a massive transition pre-COVID heading towards the South. Well, that's like nine grand at large. You could see that when you traveled, and when I traveled, I saw it considerably. And you know, the South was open and other places weren't.

SPEAKER_06 19:23

Well, it's like Detroit. Yeah, they finally go bankrupt. It's a smaller scale example of like New York City or Philadelphia or something that are way larger.

SPEAKER_04 19:31

They cave in.

SPEAKER_06 19:31

But you get it where they're not going to change, and they'll they'd rather bankrupt themselves than slowly put their city or something. They don't want to let it give up control.

SPEAKER_00 19:40

Yeah. So getting back to the topic, I was talking to my dog the other day, and he said he likes it better here in South Carolina than in New York State. So even buying property, take a shit on.

SPEAKER_03 19:52

Pat, there you go.

SPEAKER_05 19:55

Doesn't have to compete with other people pooping on the ground.

SPEAKER_06 20:00

That's true. Well, talking about China's model, there there is a curveball for with our second story. Oh. Which is um bioengineering company, colossal biosciences hatches chicks out of a completely artificial egg reminiscent of Jurassic Park. Oh, Hoffman did that years ago. He was trying to hatch 19-year-old girls. It's totally different than old birds.

SPEAKER_00 20:31

I have three kids, one of each. One of each.

SPEAKER_04 20:36

Is this for mass production? Is that what they're thinking?

SPEAKER_06 20:39

No, this is bioengineering. This is they're trying to bring back dinosaur. Oh, they're trying to bring them back. This is literally Jurassic Park.

SPEAKER_03 20:46

Well, I mean population control. There you go.

SPEAKER_04 20:49

Yeah, or when they're on the positive side of this, I mean there are endangered species that have thinned eggs, right? From pesticides and from plastics and all the other nonsense. So you could be rescuing some of those. That's on the positive.

SPEAKER_06 21:02

And you could also populate curl. I mean, if you know you've been you've been to Bucky's.

SPEAKER_04 21:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 21:07

If you unleash a velociraptor at Costco and Bucky's, we we can do some uh social engineering.

SPEAKER_04 21:13

Yeah, but the they also hate different types of birds, people.

SPEAKER_06 21:17

So well, this is specifically to bring back a certain type of uh MOA bird, like 12 foot tall that can't fly. What on so what those things will kill people?

SPEAKER_04 21:29

I mean, that that's perfect. I mean, it's kind of like you know, you got an ostrich, yeah. Whatever. Kind of like your bird emotion, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 21:39

12 foot ostrich trying to Yeah, you don't want to compete with that for parking.

SPEAKER_03 21:44

Giant size emu.

SPEAKER_06 21:46

Well, here's the thing with robotics and 3D printing, which also shows how micromanaged the mixed economy we are because we just had a restriction on foreign 3D printers in the US, which basically annihilates the market here. China doesn't do that. Part of their mixed economy is they micromanage and try to go one by one. Uh this company, Colossal Bioscience, has announced that it has successfully hatched chicks out of an innovated 3D printed egg. A Dallas-based biocompany claims to have developed a fully artificial egg that allows it to hatch a variety of avian species right up your territory.

SPEAKER_04 22:23

Yeah, but that could be anything.

SPEAKER_06 22:24

Oh, I know. Oh, we'll get to that. There's some very specific versions of the city.

SPEAKER_00 22:28

Don't you need biological components like gametes and stuff like that that actually Yeah, you need DNA.

SPEAKER_06 22:33

Well, what they're doing is combining, they're taking the genes of extinct species.

SPEAKER_04 22:37

And combining them with other Jurassic Park.

SPEAKER_03 22:42

Steven Spielberg was brilliant.

SPEAKER_05 22:47

So it's like when they did the mastodon and they combined it with the elephant's DNA to bring it back?

SPEAKER_06 22:53

Yeah, I so here's how they described it. Because there's a three-meter-tall New Zealand bird that went extinct in the 1300s, the 14th century, that they're trying to bring back. So it said, uh, yeah, I'm sure it kills more than that. And that it could solve a problem. See, you unleash these in a controlled way. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 23:17

They need to develop a bird that can kill squirrels. My bird feeders are always empty. I look out there, oh, look at the no, no birds out there. It's just nothing but squirrels. Yeah, they do. Stealing all the food. So I want a velociraptor that kills squirrels. A velociraptor might buy.

SPEAKER_06 23:34

A few of those. Velociraptor will take out the squirrels and the humans. Uh, but what they said is they want to bring back um a South Island giant moa, Denoris Robustus, a three-meter-tall New Zealand bird that went extinct. They create an artificial egg that looks like a simple plastic cup, but it's a small 3D printed miracle that allows chicken embryos to develop into living chicks. The true innovation lies in the silicone membrane coating the inside of the lattice structure, which allows sufficient oxygen to pass through just like a natural egg. And they put a pinhole on the top to put a camera to watch it developing like an actual chicken egg.

SPEAKER_04 24:19

So they've got, I mean, the egg, I mean, we can do that with with fetuses. We're we're we're doing that with humans, right? Yeah. So the egg makes sense, but how are they bringing this bird back?

SPEAKER_06 24:29

This 3,000-year-old bird or whatever the heck it is. They get samples of their DNA just like freaking Jurassic Park got it out of like a rock for whatever they were uh they'll probably use some of the material from, like you said, emu and close relative, yeah. They have a mutated uh bioengineer.

SPEAKER_04 24:51

I just I just wonder what the what the drumstick tastes like. Um, like chicken. Yeah. Yeah. Or lizard. But when they start to get to the higher order ones, that's when we've got problems. It's it's interesting you can do these these little predator ones, but you start to get the intelligent ones blended in there and they bust out.

SPEAKER_06 25:09

Well, and when they're doing these avian birds going back to the see, we think robotics is the problem.

SPEAKER_05 25:18

Then we have to put the little thing on them so we can hear what they're saying. Oh, you'll know.

SPEAKER_04 25:23

You'll kill you. I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna eat you. I hear you. Can you imagine a six-foot-tall raven in your neighborhood? Like how well that'd be.

SPEAKER_06 25:50

Yeah. But you're from Connecticut. Wouldn't you be like a New York or Boston guy or something?

SPEAKER_04 25:56

I can't figure it out.

SPEAKER_03 25:59

That's part of my maniac collection. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 26:03

One thing I uh think is interesting is the bioengineering thing we haven't really talked about much. And that's actually been developing just as fast as all these robotics. Uh but what it said specifically about that New Zealand extinct species was they get this lattice artificial egg, and then they get the egg of a MOA bird. Maybe they have a old remains of an egg or something. They still need to study the extinct bird's DNA from old bones and make certain genetic changes into the genome of an existing bird. So they are doing like a hybrid. But the innovative artificial egg is an important step to achieving the goal of recreating that extinct New Zealand species of bird. So, how did Jurassic Park start? They found blood in like one rock or something. Yeah. Mosquito or the wisdom.

SPEAKER_03 27:01

Mosquito, yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_05 27:02

Inside of it, throw it out.

SPEAKER_03 27:04

That's what I mean. Steven Spielberg was amazing. Yeah, and now you know all this stuff.

SPEAKER_06 27:09

Yeah, this is a 12-foot-tall bird. This isn't six feet tall. This is a 12-feet tall, extinct bird from the 14th century. So it was a dinosaur. It's a literal, it's like a modern dinosaur.

SPEAKER_03 27:24

Yeah, what's to stop them from creating even more stuff than that? Nothing. We're doomed. We're getting Terminator Jurassic Park. Just because you can.

SPEAKER_00 27:37

Well, what's to stop them from creating Crow Magnum men and women?

SPEAKER_06 27:41

Oh, that'd be interesting to get Neanderthals running around. Yeah, Neanderthals, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:44

State workforce. Don't do it to yourself.

SPEAKER_05 27:47

Well, if we want to see Neanderthals, we can go to Ayner.

SPEAKER_06 27:52

Oh, anar's like going back to the 14th century.

SPEAKER_02 27:59

Painful. Yes, painful.

SPEAKER_04 28:05

My friends in Ayner are gonna write in, I'm sure. I can see Derek right now going, I can't believe he said that.

SPEAKER_06 28:14

We were at uh uh Jeff's house, and Derek said biography. Oh, biography like biography is like country, which Derek's not country, grew up in North Myrtle Beach. Oh where's that coming from? But uh what they're doing is North Carolina State University and Raleigh is taking stem cells and mixing them with other DNA and trying to come up with ways to develop it in these uh 3D printed plastic cup eggs. So another variable to add to our uh theme for the show of end of end of the world modern egg. You're creating them.

unknown 29:01

That's right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 29:03

In China, that's one thing I will say about China is like on energy policy, we restrict all these things, and China just does coal, nuclear, just whatever the all of the above.

SPEAKER_04 29:14

Yeah. That's one of the flips. They're planting trees though now. A lot of them. Oh, really? Yeah, they are. They're fairly gas cars. Yep, they're moving pretty darn quick. They're they're they're doing a lot of stuff.

SPEAKER_06 29:26

Well, and they're also less restricted in some ways on scientific research. There's a lot of taboo things here that we don't want to go into.

SPEAKER_04 29:32

What we don't know about this research has got to be really fascinating.

SPEAKER_03 29:36

They also created COVID, so there is that. Well, there's a new virus every six years. What the hell? Even even the boat I went on. That boat was You went right under in the Hanavirus epidemic. Well, yeah, the boat we were on. Not not that one that ship out wherever it was, but our boat was infected. So with some kind of people were getting sick, like a hundred people.

SPEAKER_05 30:04

Before or after you boarded.

SPEAKER_03 30:07

Before.

SPEAKER_04 30:08

Oh, sure.

SPEAKER_03 30:10

No, I mean, I was about to say, well, so so they were scrubbing down the whole boat and everything. Nobody got sick from our trip, but it was like I'm I I woke the wife up early in the morning. We were ready to drive down the day before. I said, You sure you want to go on this boat? And she started freaking out. And then my neighbors and everybody else had to calm her down, and we were like, and the and the funny thing is when we're in line. The funny thing is when we were in line to go on the boat, go through the security, everybody says, What boat are you going on? What boat are you going on? Oh, I'm going on the infected boat, and they look at you like, are you sure you pull the boat?

SPEAKER_05 30:53

We got a discount. Because we know ours is gonna be disinfected.

SPEAKER_06 31:01

Well, I mean, the Caribbean and Costa Rica and all those islands, that's where they have all the weird ass wildlife. Oh, wait, and mixed with South America. South America's got a lot of people. That's where all these mutant birds are gonna come from. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:14

Today's news the Ebola virus is on the rampage again in Uganda and South Sudan. And the State Department just issued travel restrictions for Americans. They can't go to three countries because of the Ebola outbreak.

SPEAKER_06 31:30

Ebola. When was that last Ebola outbreak, like 10 years ago? No, there's been a bunch of those things. I think those guys.

SPEAKER_05 31:36

You and I were just saying the other day, when's the last time we have visited South Sudan? I was thinking about it.

SPEAKER_03 31:43

When I think of those three countries, I'm thinking, eh, they're not playing nice with the United States. Come, we're gonna ban all people from going there. We'll fix their ass. We'll fix it up.

SPEAKER_06 31:54

Well, where HIV came from Africa, Ebola, all these other viruses, COVID came from China. But Ebola doesn't spread the same way as like COVID. People get like extremely sick quickly and they can kind of isolate it a little easier.

SPEAKER_03 32:11

Hey, the way I look at it is you wear a pair of underwears, that doesn't stop a fart, but a mask is gonna stop you from getting a virus. And that was yeah.

SPEAKER_06 32:22

Maybe it stops the more dangerous chemicals.

SPEAKER_05 32:24

It's like more science coming from the northeast.

SPEAKER_06 32:33

That's right. Coming up with more just dead hard. There is some legit logic there though. Yeah, you're not stopping that if if that fucking mud fork did it's going through that underwear and you're getting uh that's candy striping it. It's stopping those skid marks, but it's not stopping anything at the molecular level, it's still getting through. Uh to transition again? Now let's get away from technology. This is more of a nature uh story.

SPEAKER_03 33:19

Oh, nice calming story. Nurture.

SPEAKER_06 33:21

Yeah. You don't want to nurture this phenomenon. Sucker fish are observed swimming into the asses of manta rays, impeding their bodily function. Oh the New York Post said they're sticking it where the sun rays don't shine.

SPEAKER_04 33:42

Oh.

SPEAKER_06 33:43

Well, Ramoras are known for being rather clingy. This is another level. Some are getting a little too close for comfort by diving into the backsides of mana rays, according to a scientific probe in ecology and evolution.

SPEAKER_05 33:59

This sounds like we're talking about uh Dern's dating life again.

SPEAKER_04 34:06

Steeping balls and lows.

SPEAKER_06 34:08

They're at the LP convention. This is what happens. Watch out, Grand Rapids.

SPEAKER_00 34:15

Are the manta rays complaining or are they going, ooh, yeah?

SPEAKER_06 34:21

They're dying, right? I mean, they're they're killing them. Well, it can interfere with their bodily function sometimes. But it says these fish are heading uh right into the manta ray's rear end as it happens. Emily Yeager from uh Miami University said their cloacal diving, which is the uncomfortable practice of fitting in and out of a larger critter's cloaca. I'm guessing that's their uh sphincter. The multi-purpose orifice uh uses both for defecation and reproduction. This seems like a uh revolting departure from so-called benign sucker fish that latch onto marine mammals such as whales and sharks, cleaning parasites off their skin. As it turns out, the so-called symbiotic relationship could be more parasitic than once thought. This intrusive behavior has been observed between Ramoras and whale sharks. That was the first time they documented these hitchhikers of the sea infiltrating into the manta rays. So talk about it.

SPEAKER_02 35:34

That's what you think. I got two words for you.

SPEAKER_06 35:39

Is that quoting the manta ray?

SPEAKER_00 35:43

No, no, no big deal until we start seeing manta rays at the pet store asking about gerbils. Then we got a big problem.

SPEAKER_06 35:49

Well, here's the thing. We think we're unique, but this is like underwater TSA behavior or prison behavior. They're literally adapting as a shelter going up the sphincter of a manta ray.

SPEAKER_05 36:04

So you're saying in prisons people block each other's sphincters?

SPEAKER_06 36:09

I think there's some soap-related soap and talking about there's some sphincter clogging going on in prisons, I think.

SPEAKER_03 36:16

Mike, is that checking a manta ray's prostate?

SPEAKER_06 36:21

Yeah, this is uh yeah, this is full out shelter. This is a higher scale. Hey, handsome man, happy ending. I mean, what we we have Suckerfish! Suckerfish, they're sucking something off. So I I just thought we've been doing so much AI and bioengineering and robotics. I thought we'd have a more major natural fish.

SPEAKER_05 36:50

Bring in some sucker fish.

SPEAKER_04 36:52

They got those those those fish things you put your feet in at tanker outlets, you know, and the fish clean your own. They had that on the ship. Wonderful. Did you do it?

SPEAKER_06 37:01

Oh no.

SPEAKER_04 37:02

No, it's kind of interesting.

SPEAKER_06 37:03

Yeah, well, it could be more dangerous than once thought.

SPEAKER_04 37:06

There's always people sitting in there having that done. I see it when I walk by.

SPEAKER_06 37:10

Yeah, they're putting like fish sucking off there.

SPEAKER_05 37:12

They eat the dead skin.

SPEAKER_06 37:13

Yeah, well, that's what these uh sucker fish usually do with the other marine animals.

SPEAKER_05 37:19

Yeah, they just but then before you know the delicious stuff was in the uh bunghole. Yeah. Yeah, you talk about there's probably more.

SPEAKER_06 37:27

I want some chocolate. You want some fungi and chocolate. There's probably more uh nutrition for them if they're eating parasites and fungi and bacteria and all this stuff off the uh the integumentary system. I guess the uh digestive system has a few more pretty soon.

SPEAKER_03 37:45

The Chinese will be eating them on their meal plate, the sucker fish.

SPEAKER_05 37:49

Putting it right next to the bat. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_06 37:53

Yeah, yeah. Uh they they the New York Post described them as an aquatic butt plug. It's a leading headline. Yeah, that's right. Classy. You know, I just people think nature's so beautiful and natural. Hyenas eat animals alive and keep them alive, ducks commit violent rape en masse, spiders lay eggs into other uh insects and eat them from the inside out.

SPEAKER_00 38:27

That's real nature, and bite their mates' heads off, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 38:31

Bite their heads off after they uh lay eggs.

SPEAKER_03 38:34

What a wonderful planet we live on.

SPEAKER_06 38:36

Death world.

SPEAKER_00 38:37

Isn't nature wonderful?

SPEAKER_06 38:40

But there is a related story to this, of course, related to sticking things up orphices. This is no longer mana rays, this is back to uh Homo sapiens.

SPEAKER_05 38:52

Pay attention, Duran. More of your dating stuff coming.

SPEAKER_06 38:57

This is a Michigan thing. Oh, Michigan. Again, we're coming. Michigan's been there, there's some uh they're moving up. So Michigan shoplifter rushed to hospital after hiding a full bottle of wine.

unknown 39:11

Oh, good.

SPEAKER_06 39:13

A full bottle of brain. Now wait a minute. Why?

SPEAKER_05 39:18

Is isn't there is this related to the fact that they just are having the LP convention in the I think it's related.

SPEAKER_06 39:25

Okay, all right. Something about these aquatic butt plugs and wine and cavity orphouses. I think this was like a 50-year-old woman. They said she put it in her body cavity. They didn't say whether it was the sphinctoral or the ham sandwich side of it.

SPEAKER_05 39:43

I think there's only one body cavity that it could go into.

SPEAKER_06 39:46

Yeah, I think so.

SPEAKER_05 39:48

I don't think the sphinctor is the part of it.

SPEAKER_06 39:50

No, I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 39:52

Not that elastic.

SPEAKER_06 39:54

People who have a long history of putting things in their sphincter. I won't say what community. It's just not that elastic uh dilated situations.

SPEAKER_05 40:05

Uh there's another cavity that's more elastic. It's a little more elastic.

SPEAKER_04 40:10

How did they find this lady? Uh well in checkout.

SPEAKER_06 40:16

They did some when she was she was trying to steal the problem. When she was waddling like Fred Sanford out of the uh like what what possessed them to notice this?

SPEAKER_03 40:29

Well, I mean she did this during shoplifting.

SPEAKER_06 40:32

Well, it said Michigan woman arrested and then rushed to the hospital after she stole a bottle of wine and hid it inside just quote unquote body cavity. Yeah. The 48-year-old was allegedly caught by shopkeepers drinking a bottle of alcohol in a Traverse City liquor store without paying for it, and returned the next day to nab the bottle of Chardonnay.

SPEAKER_05 40:57

Who'd want to nab that?

SPEAKER_06 41:01

Yeah, this is getting hardcore alcoholics. Here's an AA story for you.

SPEAKER_03 41:10

Oh, you know. This is my this is a true story. And I'm an alcoholic.

SPEAKER_00 41:15

I got a story for you. Was it in the body cavity prior to her drinking it? I mean, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 41:25

The top we're celebrating.

SPEAKER_05 41:26

So you thought she drank it and then put it in the body cavity.

SPEAKER_00 41:31

I don't know if that's what I heard.

SPEAKER_03 41:33

Either that or she already had it in there and she popped the top like uh champagne bottle.

SPEAKER_06 41:38

Well, I think the day before she was drinking out of a bottle that she had opened in there, and then the next day she came for the uh full body cavity uh situation. So employees attempted to stop her, but they were unable to find the pilford tipple. What? Pilford tipple? The pilford tipple. What is that even? That is, I'm not even sure. Something related to the screw top or something. That is until police arrested her and found it stashed inside an unnamed bodily orphice.

SPEAKER_04 42:12

What were they doing examining the unnamed bodily orphanets? Well, she's probably talking about the colour. We need a female police office, sir. What kind of violation of alcohol rights is this?

SPEAKER_03 42:27

You've got a violation all over it. Yeah, that sounds like a lawsuit, finally.

SPEAKER_05 42:31

This really screams how much better weed is than this just screams how intelligent people are.

SPEAKER_06 42:41

Well, this is almost like a uh who are those people that do those stunts, the uh I'm forgetting what it's called. It's kind of younger people for the past 20 years that does. Contortionist. Not contortionist, it's uh parkour, yeah. They climb from where they do wild shit and jump on skyscrapers and stuff.

SPEAKER_00 43:00

She could have been just training to be a drug smuggler, you know what I mean? A mule. She's a mule. Yeah, a mule, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:09

I could fit 20 kilos up in here. Well, she We're missing a Volkswagen. Where'd it go?

SPEAKER_06 43:17

Alcoholics do so many crazy things, they'll drink rubbing alcohol. Yeah, go into full out withdrawal, but this is definitely a hotel. Date Hoffman. Date Hoffman, the author special.

SPEAKER_00 43:32

My body is a temple. Alcohol does not go in my body.

SPEAKER_06 43:36

Gummies, maybe, not a gummies. That's from his Buddhist days in uh in Vietnam. Yeah, but what about suckerfish? He just ordered some Japanese suckerfish. Uh they like sushi, but I don't know.

unknown 43:52

I don't know there.

SPEAKER_06 43:54

So they found its stash inside an unnamed bodily orifice at the jail, at which point she was brought. To Munson Medical Center for treatment. The woman who was not named has been charged with two counts of retail fraud, one count of smuggling and trespassing. Okay, what did they treat?

SPEAKER_05 44:12

I mean, what was the treatment though?

SPEAKER_06 44:13

The dude and extraction. They might have had to put a pair of prawns in there. Ignore the alcoholism.

SPEAKER_05 44:20

You know, take care of the extraction.

SPEAKER_06 44:22

I mean, to get some full plumber uh ratchet strap, but then pull that out.

SPEAKER_03 44:30

Push, honey, push. You're having a baby.

SPEAKER_05 44:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:33

An alcoholic. You're gonna need some cheese with this.

SPEAKER_05 44:37

Don't take her to the hospital. Take her to Harbor Freight.

SPEAKER_06 44:45

I just, you know, more of these natural human stories instead of all this robotic. This is what man rays and humans are up to. I thought that was uh that was an interesting one. Here's another I have a third nature story.

SPEAKER_05 45:03

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 45:05

Monkeys eating have been found eating soil to subtle their upset stomachs from stolen junk food they take from humans.

SPEAKER_05 45:16

And that was in Surfside Beach inside a inside the podcast.

SPEAKER_04 45:24

Will's eating handfuls of uh garden soil. You know that this has been going on forever. The animals eat soil.

SPEAKER_06 45:30

Well, the new part is the human ecology involved in the primate, the lower food, the junk food. They're getting processed junk food like Skittles and chocolate bars from humans.

SPEAKER_04 45:41

I think if there's iron in the soil that they're after, right, that helps the stomach. Gotta eat a part of the stuff.

SPEAKER_03 45:46

I know what to eat when I run out of Tums. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 45:50

Just go full. That's like what dogs do. They'll just eat some grass and soil.

SPEAKER_00 45:55

Chickens eat small stones to help digest the food in their stomach, so there's nothing unusual here. Small stones?

SPEAKER_05 46:01

Yeah, yeah. They've got a uh uh a part of their body that stores them to uh helps it with digestion and everything else.

SPEAKER_00 46:13

Right, it breaks down the food.

SPEAKER_06 46:15

Humans get stones too, but they don't come out as easy. I didn't know digest as well.

SPEAKER_04 46:24

Oh, I bet. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 46:26

Bag of Doritos.

SPEAKER_04 46:27

There you go.

SPEAKER_06 46:28

Well, and they have the same wiring that we have, so I'm sure everything Skittles and Oreos do for us, it probably does.

SPEAKER_04 46:33

It probably multiplies for that.

SPEAKER_05 46:39

Well, uh and monkeys are uh into alcohol too.

SPEAKER_06 46:42

I mean so they're like our American Indian friends and and the Irish.

SPEAKER_05 46:46

They they they they go again. No, they they they find rotted fruit that is alcoholized. Oh, like grapefruit or something. Uh not grapefruit. Well they found out.

SPEAKER_06 46:56

Isn't grapefruit one of those things where you can uh format or ferment and well just any any fruit peach?

SPEAKER_05 47:04

Okay, yeah. An apple, you know, can do that. Uh-oh.

SPEAKER_00 47:09

Yeah, there are certain fruits that actually ferment on the trees. And the monkeys get into the trees and have a good old time.

SPEAKER_04 47:15

So do the lorries in Australia. Food fight going nuts. Drunken monkeys. They just fall, yeah, bunk, land on the ground, and they laugh.

SPEAKER_06 47:24

Next thing you know, they're gonna be shoving peaches up their uh bodily orifices.

SPEAKER_05 47:29

Well, they can always grab a puffer fish or a puffer fish.

SPEAKER_06 47:32

Oh, while using a puffer fish. We need we need to record this. This is a dark web market. So chocolate, crisps, and other similar foods have been having negative digestive effects on certain primates, and the soil can alleviate that. A monkeys in Gibraltar have learned to eat soil to settle their stomachs after they steal junk food, junk food from human tuberists.

SPEAKER_03 48:03

Well, they're eating fake food, that's why that guy's upset stuff.

SPEAKER_06 48:06

Yeah, sugar, salt, dairy. Yeah, the soil provides bacteria and minerals missing from junk food, offered or stolen from tuberists, such as chocolate bars, crisps, and ice cream. So, you know, this is like natural science.

SPEAKER_04 48:20

I bet you a lot of that is handed out to them. I bet they're not stealing it.

SPEAKER_06 48:24

Give it to them. It's probably 90-10.

SPEAKER_05 48:26

I can feel Hoffman's about to say something.

SPEAKER_00 48:29

I was just gonna say, why go on the paleo diet when you can go on the monkey diet?

SPEAKER_06 48:33

Just eat a bunch of dirt every day and you're gonna be able to lose weight.

SPEAKER_05 48:37

I knew it.

SPEAKER_06 48:37

I knew it. We all want to lose weight, right? See, his novel, he has a new diet plan covered. This does a new twist on RFK's stuff. Now I can tell my wife that.

SPEAKER_00 48:46

There's Johnny back in the garden again. He's not eating the flowers, he's eating the dirt.

SPEAKER_06 48:52

There aren't any plants out there. What are you eating? So, hey, I just thought that was interesting. A nice little monkey story for the monkey podcast. There you go. Very funny. Yeah. You know. So uh moving on. My smooth transitions. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:12

Moving on, but not upward. Not upward.

SPEAKER_06 49:15

It's all going downhill from here. Man charged after three-year-old pulled loaded gun from diaper bag during a traffic stop in St. Paul. So now we're getting in Steve Hoffman's backyard.

SPEAKER_00 49:29

That's Minnesota, yeah. Sure, I can see that.

SPEAKER_06 49:32

See, what I remember from the movie Fargo is they like to put people face first into wood chippers. In the chipper. So it's not surprising a three-year-old would pull a gun out of his diaper. Man.

SPEAKER_05 49:46

What did you are they upset because he didn't have a concealed carry?

SPEAKER_03 49:50

I don't know. He thought he was Billy the kid. Yeah, this doesn't follow a concealed carry.

SPEAKER_00 49:55

Uh if it's Minnesota, it probably wasn't his diaper, it was a man's diaper.

SPEAKER_03 50:02

How old was the guy?

SPEAKER_05 50:05

What was Tim Waltz doing driving out?

SPEAKER_03 50:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 50:10

The child was one of three in the SUV, no older than three years old. Uh uh, one of three small children in SUV pulled a loaded gun out of a diaper bag and turned toward a police officer during a traffic stop. Kenneth Ray Terry, 37 of St. Paul, was charged in Ramsey County District Court with endangerment of a child by firearm access, gross misdemeanor, and misdemeanor possessing a pistol without a permit in a public area. Terry was arrested and then released on his own recognizance. Court records do not list an attorney for him. Police said Terry's the father of the three-year-old who was the oldest of the children. According to the complaint, the police stopped an SUV for the driver not wearing a seatbelt. Terry told the officer he did not have a license and apologized for not having a seatbelt on. The officer determined a warrant was pending for Terry's arrest stemming from domestic assault. After additional police arrived, Terry reached toward the back seat that was occupied by three children. The officer thought Terry was just checking on the children. Terry was informed of the outstanding warrant and contended it was for something else. Then he was arrested, it was for someone else. Another officer looked in the SUV and saw that one of the children wasn't properly buckled and crying. Another child was concerned about mucus coming from their siblings' nose and climbed to where a Mickey Mouse diaper bag was on the floor. The child reached into the diaper bag for a tissue and then turned towards the officer holding a Taurus handgun. Oh man. So this did I get that from Will?

unknown 51:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 51:51

Was it a G3? Yeah, PT92. Uh the officer had the child put the gun down on the car seat and then recovered it. So Minnesota, Michigan.

SPEAKER_05 52:05

He didn't have a driver's license. He didn't have Well, you said sorry for not wearing the seatbelt. What's like a gun on the dice? He obviously didn't have a license for the gun. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 52:18

What would have happened if the gun went off and killed the cop? Would the child be put up for murder? Put him in handcuffs.

SPEAKER_06 52:27

Get the rubber bands. Pull on moral decay. That is a really ingenious place to hide a gun.

SPEAKER_04 52:37

Is a diaper bag?

SPEAKER_06 52:38

That's like when they hide drugs in their uh stroller.

SPEAKER_04 52:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 52:43

They put it in the 90-year-old grandma's uh wheelchair.

SPEAKER_05 52:47

I don't know if it's really that genius to do it. You're you're surrounded by the city. If you want to commit crime and you're like, oh, let me get my wiper. Where I really have all my goods is in the diaper bag. I don't, you know.

SPEAKER_06 53:03

No, let me help my child real quick, and then you you wipe them out. There's some criminal logic to this somewhere.

SPEAKER_03 53:12

Maybe maybe maybe his son was protecting the dad.

unknown 53:16

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 53:16

He was actually trying to get away. Oh, he knew more than he knew. I just, you know, another uh that that's over there by Michigan. There's a lot up there by uh It's not anywhere near Michigan. Well, the Great Lakes and the Midwest and all the flyover uh lack of oxygen.

unknown 53:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:37

This just happens when when you drink way too much 3-2 beer. Yeah. 3-2 beer. That's what it's known for.

SPEAKER_06 53:46

That is like a rogue baby. This sounds like Mike as a child. Just pulling out Tauruses out of his diaper bag. It's all kind of line up.

SPEAKER_03 53:55

I have a picture of me. Uh I think I was a year old holding my dad's beer bottle, ready to drink it. Again, I rest my case. There you go. I was a rebel from day one. Photographic proof of the world rules.

SPEAKER_06 54:13

Well, going into our final story. Uh-oh. Then this is going back to robotics. Have to add it. Japanese robot wolves in high demand to scare off bears. Oh, yeah. Look at these motherfuckers. Wow.

SPEAKER_03 54:36

Look at the glowing eyes on that thing.

SPEAKER_04 54:38

That is almost it looks like it has hair. I can't see it from here. Like it has fur.

SPEAKER_06 54:42

Yeah, it has fur and like robot arms. Holy cow. Yeah. That's a little scarier than the scarecrow.

SPEAKER_04 54:49

Man, you don't. Don't scare me. Never mind. Yeah. Put that on the front yard. Come on over, everyone. We're having a cookout. Come over here and pet it. Yeah. We're waiting for you.

SPEAKER_05 55:01

Then they'll have robot bears that won't be afraid of it.

SPEAKER_04 55:03

Beyond the perimeter.

SPEAKER_06 55:05

Dude, really? How much does something like that cost, do you suppose? Oh, it might say somewhere down here. There's yeah, I'm not seeing a price. Oh, for prices starting around $4,000. Oh, that's affordable. That's better than an alarm system. You just let that sucker go. Yeah, put it in the house. Does it bite or just chase? Well.

SPEAKER_05 55:26

Put it right next to your diaper gun.

SPEAKER_06 55:29

Well, it's robotics related, so I'm sure they have a remote control for it. The Japanese company making ferocious-looking robot wolves is being swamped by orders after record numbers of fatal bear attacks last year. Monster Wolf is an animatronic scarecrow with flashing red eyes that howls and growls menacingly to scare away wild animals. Otasiki, Otasika, the Hokkaido-based firm that makes the devices has already received around 50 orders, more than the usual volume for their entire year.

SPEAKER_05 56:04

I didn't know Japan had so many bears.

SPEAKER_06 56:10

They probably have bears and wild animals.

SPEAKER_00 56:13

They got forests and bears. So when you go for a hike, you just bring your robot wolf along with you. On a leash.

SPEAKER_03 56:31

I was reading about a story about an airline not allowing mechanical dogs, animals on the like uh mechanical dogs. Like AI dogs on the airline.

SPEAKER_06 56:48

They're gonna start doing emotional support animals with the biggest thing. Yeah, that's what it is.

SPEAKER_05 56:53

It's an emotional support robot.

SPEAKER_06 56:56

Well, that's like that rhino in Ace Ventura that uh Jim Carrey crawled out of.

SPEAKER_04 57:02

That was orifice related and robotics related. It's not gonna be long until you see people walking around with this stuff.

SPEAKER_06 57:13

Oh, yeah. Well, we already talked about the mecha robots last week.

SPEAKER_03 57:17

We're doing a lot of anal stories over here. This was the week of colonoscopy.

SPEAKER_06 57:23

Or don't forget your colonoscopy. Orphous violations. Orphous violator. And uh robotic Orphous AI X insertion. Well, dildos are kind of like a proto robotics AI, battery suckerfish going up. Uh the Suckerfish dildo.

SPEAKER_03 57:46

Hey, don't get Steve excited over here. I wonder what the everything is. He's gonna be more than about 10 of those.

SPEAKER_04 57:54

What does Mark Zuckerberg's AI have to say about this? I wish we could approach it and talk to it.

SPEAKER_00 58:00

This episode has been everything you ever wanted to know, but was afraid to ask about body cavities.

SPEAKER_06 58:07

Well, the Jim Carrey Ace Ventura thing, that's like a hybrid of the sucker fish and the wolf scarecrow.

SPEAKER_05 58:15

Yeah, let's keep telling ourselves that.

SPEAKER_00 58:20

That's full circle.

SPEAKER_06 58:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 58:22

Will those wolves keep uh suckerfish away? Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_06 58:25

I don't know. Yeah. They now they'll have aquatic uh scarecrow.

SPEAKER_03 58:30

Now I'm gonna be an adult here with a sucker fish. There's no adults here. Well, I like to pretend we're gonna have a sucker fish. We got a wolf. What else do we got in there? I gotta have all these animals. I ain't gonna know what the hell to do with them all. That's a monkey. A mole bird. Yeah, once you get the bird. I mean hey, you want to trim the bushes for me while you had it?

SPEAKER_06 58:55

Then you just apply the pet translator and we're we're at full Mad Max Robotics Terminator edition.

SPEAKER_00 59:05

We just welcome them to our neighborhood. And we get back to the hairless cat.

SPEAKER_06 59:08

Yeah. The hairless cat who wants to do uh organ removal. I I would if you look at all the different species of cats and dogs and birds and all their personality differences, can you imagine you start correlating their micro behaviors and sounds and mannerisms and everything that they're actually thinking?

SPEAKER_03 59:29

The question is if you had to pick one animal to come back as, what would it be? Well, Lindsay Grimm would come back as a soccer fish. I'm gonna come back as a big bird so I can shit on everybody. A big T-Rex.

SPEAKER_00 59:45

I'd come back as a dachshund. Everything is taken care of for you. Everything. You don't have to do anything but lay on the couch and just look at people with your little cute little whiny eye. Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:01

You know, they did have a story this week. They found what caused the evolution of small T-Rex arms and large heads. Was that over uh thousands of generations their prey became larger and larger and larger as they became taller? So their extremities started not adapting to their increase in size and body weight, but their heads got disproportionately larger.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:29

Kind of like the ladies on the view. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:32

I don't know if their heads are gonna larger. Or the dog and mask. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:39

Well, I thought we're right at the one-hour mark. That was seven stories. That went full circle. That filled up the hour, the monkey hour.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:48

Well, that's been another episode of Microphone Monkeys. Uh, we drop with the episodes every Thursday. Over the podcast. Now on YouTube. Now on YouTube. Yeah, fantastic. All right, till next week. Say goodbye, monkeys.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:07

Say goodbye. People say we're the badges bouncing. Going to visit big friends. Well done, microphone launches.