Second Edition of Remote Monkeys...

While Tripp is still trying to record and produce from 400 miles away.  Randy keeps the entire Monkey Barrel in check with topics like a man faking death to escape drunk driving charge, refrigerating humans, wild monkeys on the loose in Florida, high dog rescued off of a mountain and more...

Rebel Rabbit infused seltzers.  Get a free Microphone Monkeys button at the Inlet Dispensary in Murrell's Inlet.

Check out the Tripp (and Graham) has Issues podcast!

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 1:04

Hello, welcome to the flag. Little classes from me from the screen.

SPEAKER_02 1:34

Hey guys, this is Microphone Monkeys, and this week we have men faking their own death to get out of DYs, Japanese human fridges. We have Florida monkey warnings, dogs high on marijuana, people with flamethrowers and RVs at Walmart, and men-only gyms. Wait, men only what? We have men-only gyms to prevent lust.

SPEAKER_03 2:02

Oh yeah. This is for their safety, right? In case something doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_00 2:08

We used to call them gyms.

SPEAKER_02 2:11

Gyms. If you can't go into the gym without looking at ass pain, what is going to motivate you, Will? This isn't the 70s anymore.

SPEAKER_00 2:22

If it's men only, what's gonna stop me from doing the same thing?

SPEAKER_02 2:27

I know. Yeah. I will go back to uh what is it? Iron Fist. What what what was that 70s documentary with Arnold Schwarzenegger? Iron fucking Pumping Iron, I think. I believe iron pumping iron, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:45

Iron fist sounds more like iron iron fists.

SPEAKER_01 2:53

I'm gonna pull someone else too while I'm doing it. Yeah, pumping someone else. That's great.

SPEAKER_02 3:00

Well, the first story is man fakes his own funeral to escape drunk driving legal consequences. That's good.

SPEAKER_00 3:13

I like that one. I've thought of that with this one. Getting out of uh things when I was married, so yeah, I could I can I could see that.

SPEAKER_02 3:21

Yeah, this does sound very this sounds very will-esque. Yeah. But what happened here is Chinese man caught driving while intoxicated, convinced family to help him fake his own death in order to escape legal consequences.

SPEAKER_01 3:42

He probably because they probably kill him if he got caught driving drunk over there.

SPEAKER_02 3:48

Yeah, and Hunan China. He'll get the cane and then get thrown into the pit. Special camp for drunks. That's right. Well, it says uh it says details of the bizarre case date back to January. A man named C was pulled over by police and arrested for DUI. A background check revealed he had been caught driving without a license while intoxicated twice. So C risked spending time behind bars for his third offense. Why out uh while out on bail, C decided that the risk of prison was too great. So he came up with the plan of uh faking his own death and funeral so he could get uh get away without fear of police looking for him. In June, the family set their daring plan into motion. They bought a coffin, C set the scene of his own death, he scattered empty medicine bottles throughout his home, practiced holding his breath for long periods of time. Yeah, I guess so. I don't know what their uh death process is in China, but he said he even used cooling equipment to keep his body cold in an effort to make it look like he had succumbed of a drug overdose.

SPEAKER_01 5:21

So this is uh you know thought involved in this one. I take it he wasn't well apparently they found out.

SPEAKER_02 5:33

Uh the the funeral was carried out the same day uh while the coffin was being lowered into the ground. C was already on his way to Yunnan province. Unfortunately, it didn't end with his fake death. There were some loose ends police quickly picked up, like the fact the coffin had been purchased before his death. You know, simple things like that. I I guess this guy doesn't watch CSI. And the fact that his family never called an ambulance or alerted the police about his death. I I guess those might be enough to uh unravel it. Well, what happens?

SPEAKER_00 6:16

Yeah. The flock cameras, you know, watching him go out of Hunan Province. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:23

As he climbs out and drives to uh Yeah, I guess there's a camera like in every corner in China, so you ain't getting rid of nothing.

SPEAKER_02 6:31

They're trying to start that here, but it's not quite there yet. But yeah, credit score. It does make sense that every one of these fuckers are drunks because they fumble basically every level of this. He cooled his body to seem like he was dead.

SPEAKER_00 6:50

So it's like uh Hunan Province or Alabama, one of the two. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:56

Yeah. You don't want to go to Alabama. Remember that, people from the Northeast. That's offhand.

SPEAKER_02 7:02

Go to the Darren has Grandmaster plans that don't screw up his his system.

SPEAKER_03 7:10

Yeah, my exit plan, you don't want to go there.

SPEAKER_02 7:13

It's Florida for you. Now, moving on to our second story. These this was one of the most last-minute story days, but we may have up to two surprise guests today. Ooh, well moving on. That'll be good. We will not name either one. Who knows? But we may have two surprise. The uh the or Ori County House of Horrors may may expand with uh two additional members. Did we uh still call Steve Hoffman today? Uh did he get word out from the uh interview?

SPEAKER_00 8:00

I think so. Uh that and and uh even though he's getting the same uh emails that you guys get with the the stuff, he he hasn't been able to figure that out yet, and I have to keep sending him individual links. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:18

Well we'll get that. Will it's one more week where Will's gone and then we can do the in-person ones again.

SPEAKER_03 8:28

That's true. The uh buffet buffet.

SPEAKER_02 8:36

Steve hasn't been on a cruise for a while. It seems like it's been a solid like six months. That is not right.

SPEAKER_00 8:43

Well, that's because he wants to keep going to the Strait of Hormuz, so yeah. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:50

Those oil sanctions are rough. Hoffman is an outlaw, so he he he can't uh can't can't control his uh wild adventures. But we have story number two, which is related slightly, it overlaps. Japanese company launches human refrigerators. I call it Wisconsin. Just a type of summer? Is this a summer thing? I I don't know. That this he it is basically advertised as a personal cooling cabinet. Yeah, so cool. Yeah, that we need those in Myrtle Beach in July.

SPEAKER_03 9:34

This is a global warming right there. You get those human refrigerators, you just kind of step on in and shut the door, and it's just like for good flotation takes, just freeze yourself. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 9:46

This is technology maybe the guy should have used that instead.

SPEAKER_02 9:51

Yeah, I know. He should have he should have transported himself. The Japanese refrigerator freezer. He could have uh he could have been fake frozen and they could have sprayed some stuff around him. He they screwed up a few things in that last story.

SPEAKER_01 10:08

Well, this thing could have got away with if he froze if they froze him and then thawed him out later. Yeah, they didn't.

SPEAKER_02 10:18

You know how many people are in frozen labs right now with their brain frozen?

SPEAKER_03 10:24

They have their heads frozen. Yeah, that's every day. You know what though? You know their heads are frozen. I think it was that fruit fly that they updated its brain essentially into a virtual space online and it started acting out. It started moving and behaving just like a fruit fly. So I mean you just need to upload upload your brain. I mean, it's just fruit flies now, you tomorrow.

SPEAKER_00 10:50

Well, if they uploaded my brain, it would just be reading like a virus.

SPEAKER_02 10:58

It would just be uh monkey business and gyms with uh naked women in them.

SPEAKER_01 11:04

Mine would be Lawmore Man.

SPEAKER_02 11:09

Well, check this out. In Japan, they they have a box called the Do Haimun box, created by Japanese refrigeration company SDRS, and it has gone viral as the human refrigerator. In Japan, summers can be brutally hot, but this year 48 people were hospitalized due to heat stroke in Tokyo. So individuals and companies are on the lookout for new ways to keep people cool. Uh oh our one of our friends needs the link sent to him again. I I will I will uh I'll finish.

SPEAKER_03 11:50

So how big are these refrigerators? I mean, this doesn't sound like a chest to take away.

SPEAKER_02 11:56

Okay, they're doing some sort of metric, but it says uh 2000, it's like a seat. You go in there and sit down.

SPEAKER_00 12:06

And uh it's like a part of silver. What part of a human refrigerator would you say? Oh, here's a good name for it, hymen. I mean nothing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:25

In the West, in the West they do that ice dunking, you know, sort of stuff. So this could do well in the West. It's just like a cold plunge. Seriously.

SPEAKER_00 12:34

The cold cold plunge, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:37

Cold plunge. This is like that. But this is a high grievance in that. It's a shocking event, you know.

SPEAKER_01 12:48

It's a highly breathing in that. If you close the door, there's no oxygen in there.

SPEAKER_03 12:53

Yeah, brain freeze when you get on this. Even in Freon, which has got to be great for you. Yeah. I love that.

SPEAKER_02 13:02

Oh, yeah. Sitting in sub zero temperatures with freon. The it is not just the hymen box, it is the dew hymen. Oh, the dewey. The dewy hymen. The honey honey dew hymen. The this is a metallic container with transparent glass door. So they can see free. I love their writing it in Japanese as well.

SPEAKER_01 13:32

With the glass would get all fucked up.

SPEAKER_02 13:36

Designed as a personal cooling space. You climb in, sit in the built-in seat, and enjoy five degrees Celsius blasted towards your head, neck, shoulders, and back. According to the manufacturer, a 10-minute stay in the Du Hyman box helps quickly uh reduce body temperature and alleve symptoms of heat-related exhaustion. The human refrigerator contains a couple of What is it in Fahrenheit?

SPEAKER_00 14:07

That means nothing to me. What is it in Fahrenheit? It's cold, baby. Just get in on it.

SPEAKER_01 14:13

Probably like 35 or something.

SPEAKER_03 14:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:21

I mean, you can go to the grocery store and just go in the back there. Walk in the cooler.

SPEAKER_02 14:27

Yeah. They they're only it's only 60 degrees Fahrenheit.

SPEAKER_01 14:32

Where in the in the grocery store?

SPEAKER_02 14:34

Yeah. In the five Celsius. Yeah. Oh no, no, no. I didn't say what they're going into. Oh no, I'm wrong. Wait a sec. It's it's 41 degrees.

SPEAKER_01 14:46

41, 45. Yeah. I wasn't too far off.

SPEAKER_02 14:50

Not too far off. It's getting near freezing temperatures.

SPEAKER_01 14:54

Yeah. I'm getting near five, ten minutes in there, you come out, you'll be just fine. I know in New York it was five degrees. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:08

Your balls would be froze to your leg. It also says that uh it automatically shuts off to prevent overcooling and consumes half the energy of a standard mobile air conditioner, requires no special installation, and is easily moved around on wheels. They even have a polar bear like a Coca-Cola commercial in the uh in the ad.

SPEAKER_03 15:35

You know what's kind of interesting though, is like in their cities, their cities are so compressed, and and you know, they deal with space differently than we do, where they maximize everything. It's like you gotta make a choice with what you own. Is this something you really want to own and take space up with? I mean, really.

SPEAKER_02 15:52

Well, it's if it's a heat exhaustion, they've been talking about carbon sinks and all this stuff for uh for global warming. This is the perfect solution. And it cools you down. You sit in the uh people work remotely, sit in their human refrigerator, cool down to 40 degrees, come back out, bam. That's at least uh uh 50 or 100 years, no room requests so far. We're having technical difficulties with our newbie members. Uh are they trying to do it on their phone?

SPEAKER_00 16:28

Are they trying to do it on their phone?

SPEAKER_02 16:30

It's not working from my phone even with Chrome. No, no, no, I said it doesn't work on twice to this.

unknown 16:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:39

I know I said twice to this villa. It has to be the laptop.

SPEAKER_01 16:43

I see, I see this.

SPEAKER_00 16:44

I have a feeling it's a silverback. I have a feeling it's a silverback who's having it. Yep.

SPEAKER_02 16:52

He knows Silverback and Longdong are our two surprise guests. We won't say they're not. Don't give it away. Don't give it away. Well, we knew it would be silverback.

SPEAKER_00 17:07

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 17:08

We'll get him on here. He's coming.

SPEAKER_02 17:10

He's coming.

SPEAKER_01 17:14

Oh, yeah. It's a box, they call it. Yeah. It shows a lady sitting in there. It's it looks like just a regular freezer.

SPEAKER_03 17:26

But who's got room for that in Japan?

SPEAKER_01 17:29

It's on wheels.

SPEAKER_03 17:30

It's it's like a stand-up. It's like where are you gonna put it? It's like it's gonna take the space of that little robot you're gonna buy. Right.

SPEAKER_01 17:39

It's like the size of a regular refrigerator.

SPEAKER_03 17:42

Yeah, that ain't right. I got a refrigerator. Besides, the Koreans make better refrigerators than the Japanese.

SPEAKER_01 17:47

Hey, the way I look at it, I go to the grocery store and walk in the cooler if I want to get cooled down that bad.

SPEAKER_00 17:55

Going to the 7-Eleven and just go into the watching. Japanese are just looking for something to sell.

SPEAKER_02 18:02

Well, and this is Japan. We had a Chinese story. We had a Japanese story. We now will move to Florida. And this is very topically related. Where are we? This is connected.

SPEAKER_03 18:16

Florida, China, Japan.

SPEAKER_02 18:18

I don't get it at all. Yeah, wild, animalistic, slash, new technology things.

SPEAKER_03 18:24

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 18:25

This Florida always ties in. Florida City issues warnings after multiple monkey sightings. Now I'm not sure if they just saw Mafia Mike on vacation or not, but yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:41

I hope these are runaway research monkeys that are attacking people that deserve it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:47

We'll say Silverback is now delayed to the next meeting. So we will have Silverback on later.

SPEAKER_03 18:55

Wait a minute. Did we cut it into therapy or something? Like what? I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 18:59

There was some uh communication jam that happened.

SPEAKER_00 19:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 19:05

What about the one who cannot be named? Florida. The one in the cannot be named is still, he he may still be buzzed right now, slash sleeping. Yeah, I'm texting him as well.

SPEAKER_03 19:19

Not easy on Friday.

SPEAKER_02 19:21

Yeah. I was on the phone with him pretty late last night, so it's hard to say. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:27

That would do it. That would do it. I've been on the phone with you before, too, and some of that stuff, man. I swear. My head hurts.

SPEAKER_00 19:34

Well, I'm just uh well my my folks, my folks have the cleaning ladies coming in today. So uh one of two or maybe three things could happen. There could be a lot of commotion and a lot of Spanish uh being spoken in the background, or there could be an ice raid. One of the two, you know, we don't know what's gonna happen here soon.

SPEAKER_01 19:57

Yeah, we'll throw them on the on the air.

SPEAKER_00 20:01

The excitement in North Georgia, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:07

Two check this out. Now now we no longer have Long Dong either. So I'm very upset with these two individuals, but we will scradable this next week.

SPEAKER_03 20:19

There we go. I mean, were they only gonna five minutes and then you know get everybody upset and leave or something? Like what was the plan? I think so.

SPEAKER_02 20:27

That this was a uh this was like edging and then uh it turned into blue balls.

SPEAKER_03 20:33

So were they were what do they call that when the seagulls blast you? Was this just one of those flyby seagull blasts?

SPEAKER_00 20:41

That's right. Uh they're playing Lucy, they're pulling the football from us again. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:50

So check this out. Back to the monkey business. Yay! A Florida City had to tell residents to keep a safe distance after multiple sightings of wild monkeys in the area. A wild, how are these pronounced? Reese? Reese, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:08

They can be mean. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:11

Are those the little mean ones? They're the mean ones, yeah. They're the poop clingers. Yeah, real cute.

SPEAKER_03 21:17

And then they bite the roads that's great. Yeah. Every neighborhood should have done uh uh night at the museum. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:26

Oh, yeah. What uh what how do you pronounce this? The M-A-C-A-Q-U-E? Is that how isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 21:35

Macau?

SPEAKER_03 21:35

Macau a recent Macau. Macau's a bird, Macau's the monkey.

SPEAKER_02 21:41

Okay. They had a wild Reesus Macau photographed outside of the Lakeside Inn and Mount Dora, and then another monkey was caught on camera at Gilbert Park.

SPEAKER_01 21:56

Did he have a hat and a cigar in his mouth?

SPEAKER_02 22:00

That would be full mafia, Mike.

SPEAKER_01 22:02

Yeah, I might have sent them over there to take care of somebody.

SPEAKER_02 22:09

I believe it. It said resident Priscilla Spears. No, I don't know any relation to Britney Spears, said she spotted a monkey near Mount Dora shopping plaza. I was like, who would have their dog out on a busy road? As I got closer, I went, oh my god, that's a monkey. The city of Mount Dora posted a warning to residents Monday. We've received reports of multiple monkey sightings within the city. If seeing a monkey may be unusual, but please remember they are wild, feral animals who should be looked at from a safe distance. So this might have been Mike. Well, we'll see if they mentioned the hat and the cigar.

SPEAKER_05 22:55

That's right.

SPEAKER_02 23:04

Has lived ever since being brought to the island by a tour boat operator in 1938. I love it. Here comes the deep Florida backstory. The operator was unaware the Reesus Makaws were strong swimmers and they strongly escaped the island they were on. So this is another heartwarming Florida story.

SPEAKER_03 23:31

I love this kind of stuff. I like the fact that they've been there that long and they got off the island and it's just like a big F you to everybody. I just love it. And stay inside, you never know. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 23:43

Is there something scary on a leash and walking them down the street?

SPEAKER_02 23:48

Is there something scary about a monkey being a strong swimmer? Like you're just hanging out by the air. If you ever just look at a normal human, especially if we had silver back on, I sent a baboo pick a baboon picture looking at his uh live stream the other day, and it there's a strong similarity. Yep. Humans look so close. You can't deny it once you put one next to the other. But can you imagine a little violent monkey swimming at you in Florida?

SPEAKER_00 24:25

Yeah, it'd be Leah Thomas.

SPEAKER_02 24:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:29

Leah Thomas. There you go.

SPEAKER_01 24:31

Over there stealing the kid's raft.

SPEAKER_02 24:34

Yeah. They're all weak. Well, they always have these gator stories at Disney World, a gator snags a kid, now you have monkeys. This is like uh if Dog the Bounty Hunter was an entire state, you would have you now have Florida. There you go. He does look like Dog the Bounty Hunter is like what when when you had we had Myrtle Manor, the the trailer park show for Myrtle Beach, you just you you get like the spirit animal of the state. Yeah. And uh I don't know. I just always think about the dog. Speaking of dogs. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 25:20

I was gonna say I don't know. Of course, Will has a story of working with Dog the Bounty Hunter. I do. I I've worked with uh the cameraman um on a project who worked that show, Dog the Bounty Hunter. And he told me all sorts of incredible stories. Pardon? What was that?

SPEAKER_03 25:42

Is this some sort of love triangle?

SPEAKER_02 25:45

Oh no, no, this is part of the dark web. This is part of Dog the Bounty Hunter.

SPEAKER_00 25:50

This is the other side of the internet. Weird. We were actually working here in Myrtle Beach for uh oh, I'm trying to think of her name, but anyway, she she was she had a travel channel uh show and um and she was uh doing her her stick here in the Myrtle Beach Grand Strand area. But uh he was kind of relieved doing that work for Travel Channel because he told me that uh the doing doing the work with Dog the Bounty Hunter and jumping in and out of the the back of the truck with his all of his equipment and everything else last minute and um almost getting shot and almost getting beaten up and all this other stuff that w went on was just incredible. And they were just like, well, yeah, it's for them it was just another day at the uh at the office. I mean, I could not day with the dog. Oh yeah. I mean they're sitting around, they've got all their their jackets, they've got you know guns, knives, you know, uh uh all the flack stuff, the uh all the good stuff. All the good stuff. All he has is a camera. He's there in the same area.

SPEAKER_02 27:07

But uh sort of like the cameraman for cops. Oh, yeah. I will not some people may not know this, but not only do we have Doc Annell from Tiger King, Joe Exotic used to do tours through Myrtle Beach with his little uh circus show. So Myrtle Beach. Oh, this this was like 20 years ago.

SPEAKER_01 27:36

Uh 40 years old.

SPEAKER_02 27:38

Yeah, they they're all familiar with our our Myrtle Beach backyard doing tours. Yeah, so it Myrtle Beach does have like a circus element slash Florida man. It is like one sixty square miles of Florida in South Carolina, so not all of it, not all of it. Not all of it. We have a couple secret spots, but it's kind of in the middle. It's kind of in the middle. Yeah. But speaking of dogs, as the as the transition meister, dog rescued from mountain after consuming marijuana. What why did they rescue him? He was his melon out.

SPEAKER_01 28:20

He was falling smoke after dog's nose.

SPEAKER_03 28:23

He doesn't have a bad trip on that in mountain. I think this is one of the bad trips.

SPEAKER_05 28:30

He could not find that ball.

SPEAKER_02 28:36

Up there seeing gnomes and freaking out. This is sad. Chilling doing this to their animals, seeing cats flying around. It says a rescue team was summoned to the tallest mountain in Scotland to rescue a labrador that became ill after consuming marijuana. So this is one of the bad trip stories. It says Christina Bloomy said her five-year-old black lab named Tokyo started showing symptoms during a family hike near the peak of Ben Nevis. We were maybe an hour from the top when we noticed Tokyo started to get weak in the hindquarters. See, it affects everyone. This is similar to my experience.

SPEAKER_00 29:29

That's Mafia Mike after having a few rebel rabbits. He gets weak in the hindquarters. Whoa.

SPEAKER_02 29:36

He gets weak in the knees and starts making various uh uh random threats towards people.

SPEAKER_00 29:43

That's right.

SPEAKER_02 29:44

More rebel rabbits threats. It's more rebel rabbit. It says, see, this is why you don't give rebel rabbit to your dog.

SPEAKER_00 29:52

That's right.

SPEAKER_02 29:53

Initially, I thought it could be a spinal thing or a disc had slipped, but then she started drifting in and out of consciousness. I was standing on the mountain thinking I was going to lose her. Efforts to carry the 53-pound Tokyo down the mountain were hampered by heavy rains, leading for the family to call Mountain Rescue, which had volunteers nearby to deal with any emergency.

SPEAKER_03 30:20

Tokyo was why aren't they saying anything about how this dog got dosed? Cannabis to begin with. Oh, it's coming. But it's like an emotional story, but they probably did this to this dog.

SPEAKER_02 30:32

They probably did, just like how people get their dog drunk. Yeah. They probably blew weed smoke in his face, and now he can't, his hind legs aren't working. No, it's a dog high.

SPEAKER_00 30:47

I was just gonna say dog high, you blow it in their ears. Yeah. Anyway, go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 30:53

Get it high, get it, get its legs shaken. It said the dog was carried down the mountain on a stretcher and went to Crown Vets, where the condition was discovered. All this she had all of the symptoms of consuming cannabis and had her blood tested. What gave it away was she had her temperature taken and she let out gas and it completely smelled like cannabis.

SPEAKER_01 31:19

That's not like the dog.

SPEAKER_02 31:23

It was almost like standing beside someone smoking weed. Oh, the owner said it's not funny, but it was a bit funny. The veterinarian said Tokyo ate edible cannabis that had been left on the trail. Gummy bears. Oh, left on the trail. Yeah, so maybe Steve's gummy bears fell out.

SPEAKER_01 31:45

Yeah, Steve's gummy bears fell out of his pocket and he ate it.

SPEAKER_00 31:48

Yeah, when's the last time Hoffman was up in uh in the highlands, yeah. In Scotland.

SPEAKER_01 31:54

I don't know. Now we're gonna have to question him. We're wordy.

SPEAKER_02 31:59

He saw the story list and he dipped out. He he'll get caught like that refrigerator guy. Yeah. Or the uh fake funeral guy. It said uh the following day Tokyo was doing much better, wagging her tail very happily, was ready to go. And the day you wouldn't have thought what had uh just happened to her. So that there's an animal dosing story. There there has to be among this group, this monkey barrel, there have to be stories of friends secretly dosing you with stuff.

SPEAKER_03 32:33

Uh true. I don't want to go there, but yeah, I have balance from we won't comment on it, but it's a very bad story.

SPEAKER_01 32:40

We used to get one of the girlfriends cat drunk. And then he'd get mean. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:47

Just like the rest of the cats don't cats don't seem very easy going. If you if you uh throw off their senses, they they don't get very nice.

SPEAKER_01 32:56

They're not as nice as the last one. It's sat in the corner, ugly looking, with a mean claw.

SPEAKER_02 33:05

Well, at least the uh the reaction time was slow, so everyone was safe. Yeah. True. Yeah. But tying in to our next story, we have a another Florida story. This one might be an even better one. This sounds much more Florida than even the monkey escape one. Oh, this is a lot of things. Florida man with Florida Man with a flamethrower barricades himself in an RV at Walmart, cops say.

SPEAKER_00 33:40

So this is a full-on flavor. You can stay overnight with those RVs if you remember. Yeah, that goes off in an RV, you're old Vietnam vet in his trailer.

SPEAKER_03 33:51

This is normal stuff, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:53

Yeah, well, but when the the when the Walmart employee comes to tell you to leave and you have a flamethrower, this is where it dips into Florida territory. So this says a man barricaded himself inside an RV late Monday night in the parking lot of Burlington County, Walmart, and possessed a flamethrower and other weapons. Officers from the Lumberton Township Police Department responded shortly after 11 p.m. with reports of a dispute between two people that escalated into a robbery. One of the people involved, 38-year-old Florida man, of course, got inside a tan and green RV parked near the edge of the lot and refused repeated quest requests to exit the vehicle. The officers were informed the man had a flamethrower and other weapons inside the vehicle. See, this is when Elon Musk starts selling these things. They always end up in Florida.

SPEAKER_01 34:58

Just Florida and Walmarts.

SPEAKER_02 35:04

Florida, Walmart, RV, and flamethrower. These are all Florida things.

SPEAKER_01 35:09

No, Florida. My my brother got killed in a Walmart in Florida. This is why Walmart in Florida. People are crazy over there.

SPEAKER_03 35:20

Are you kidding me?

SPEAKER_01 35:22

No.

SPEAKER_02 35:23

Now you have robberies, meth, flamethrowers. That that's that's a dangerous combination. Florida can be very dangerous.

SPEAKER_01 35:30

Avoid what Walmart in Florida.

SPEAKER_03 35:34

They're opening up one of them Walmarts across the border here. I'm not I don't know if I'm gonna go, but it's opening soon. It's huge. In North Carolina. Yeah, right on the border. It's uh yeah, Sunset Beach or Calabash. It's just past Calabash. I I drive by it, you know, on my way to work. Isn't it like a Buckeyes? No, it's I it's it's bigger than a Bucky's. It's a huge Walmart with gas and everything. It's like they're they mowed down the forest for this thing. It's like there it'll be.

SPEAKER_00 36:14

Replacing some of the things. Well, not every Walmart allows you to park.

SPEAKER_02 36:19

Not every Walmart consents to you parking your RV in the parking lot either.

SPEAKER_01 36:23

Yeah, to get the one down on 17 by 544, they do.

SPEAKER_02 36:30

Oh, the big Walmart uh super center in 544?

SPEAKER_01 36:33

Yeah, the one down on the bottom by 17.

SPEAKER_02 36:36

Oh, yeah, because that one's next to uh yeah, it's right next to the go sleep in the RV place.

SPEAKER_01 36:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:44

That's R V territory in uh the Grand Strand.

SPEAKER_01 36:48

Yeah, it says I buy an RV, I get to park it in uh Walmart. I don't know if they they'll let you do it for like one night at a time. I ain't moving, I ain't paying taxes, and I ain't leaving.

SPEAKER_02 37:01

Yeah, all Mike needs to do is get an Elon Musk flamethrower, and we'll have a little recreation of this story. I love it. Mike's Mike's the collect the collection uh moves just got a little more dangerous. You they'll need the refrigerator thing to protect them from Mike's uh Mike's Walmart flamethrower. It says other law enforcement agencies.

SPEAKER_00 37:28

Go ahead. I was gonna say he's gonna give his flamethrower to his monkey. Yeah, his pet monkey he got from.

SPEAKER_01 37:37

I'm gonna sick the monkeys out on the police, and I got the flamethrower as the backup.

SPEAKER_02 37:42

Yeah. Mike, a Macau, and a flamethrower at Walmart. That's a very dangerous combination. It said they contacted other law enforcement. They uh other law enforcement were called to the scene, as well as a trained crisis negotiator and, of course, a mental health professional who engaged with the man throughout the overnight hours into the morning. This is very a Florida Terminator. The incident ended when the man was taken into custody. Authority said he was charged with robbery, obstruction, and multiple weapons-related offenses. The department said other charges that were planned on being filed as the investigation continues. It was unclear what was eventually found in the RV, but the man suffered a minor injury during the incident and was taken to the hospital. Flashbang, they flashbanged him. Yeah, yeah, flashbanged him to take his flame through her. Yeah, quite the uh he could have gone up in flames. Yeah. As those dog the bounty hunter cameramen know, one man can cause a lot of damage and chaos.

SPEAKER_03 39:14

I avoid humans whenever I can, I tell you. It is not safe. You think those spicing are bad?

SPEAKER_02 39:23

How legal is it to buy a flamethrower? Is that not a uh ATF NFA weapon?

SPEAKER_03 39:29

Sure, you do in South Carolina, I'm sure you can.

SPEAKER_00 39:32

Hey, I think people should.

SPEAKER_02 39:36

Nuclear bombs, yeah, mini nuclear weapons. That's right. I agree.

SPEAKER_03 39:43

All right, though, I got a sensitive question for you in regards to legality. Um, do you think they should change the truck bed laws, allowing people to sit in the truck beds and have TVs in their truck beds and stuff like that? Because I mean they can. But they change those laws. Do you think that's appropriate?

SPEAKER_02 40:02

Not to sit on the like the highway in the back of the truck.

SPEAKER_03 40:06

Yeah, they're they sit in their trail beds and drive around all the time around here.

SPEAKER_02 40:10

I don't know whether it's legal or not, but I've seen that a trillion times in Myrtle Beach.

SPEAKER_03 40:15

Yeah, it's all the time. I I think it's legal. If it isn't legal, I don't think anybody does anything about it.

SPEAKER_00 40:20

No, it it is illegal. That's one of those things it's illegal. It is illegal. They were it is illegal, but it is done all the time.

SPEAKER_03 40:34

They're trying to change the law. I don't I'm not sure it's illegal. I mean, I did see two young ladies, I don't know what how old they were, probably in their 20s, but they had a full like 45-inch, 50-inch TV in the truck bed, and they were sitting on little like chairs watching.

SPEAKER_01 40:50

Well, the thing is, how how could you enforce seat belt laws if you got people in the back of a truck that can fall out? That doesn't matter. Well, it is the violation, true.

SPEAKER_00 41:00

That's exactly it. It's a violation of the the restraint laws.

SPEAKER_01 41:04

Yeah. Well, it's the same thing with a school bus. There's no seat belts and yeah, there's no seat seatbelts.

SPEAKER_03 41:11

So, I mean, how do you stand about it? Do you think it's okay if people sit in the in the truck bed? I think so.

SPEAKER_02 41:16

But here's the Myrtle Beach is going downhill. So you have we have banned thongs, we have banned cigarettes on the beach, we have these stupid seatbelt laws, and now people can't even ride down 544 watching DNC. Yeah, that's true. They can have their squatted trucks. Yeah, they used to have the squatted trucks, now that's banned. People need to be able to drive a squatted truck where they can only see their hood while having women in the back, the cab watching TV.

SPEAKER_03 41:50

Yeah, yeah. This state's going downhill.

SPEAKER_02 41:53

Yeah, you're right.

SPEAKER_03 41:54

This old Myrtle Beach is going on making the laws now. They're moving down here, making the laws. And yeah, they come down here and complain about the pizza. I'm sick of it. Move back. Our states becoming one giant frickin' HOL. We need a ice down here to get rid of the northerners. We don't need all these guidelines, man. Really? No.

SPEAKER_02 42:18

See, I wish we could have had the Connecticut cunning linguist to weigh in on this. Because if more of these uh, I mean, the Ori County LP is basically uh Yankee Central, but we are the good ones. And we have come down to bring liberty. I never came down. We need to stop these uh these other people from ruining Myrtle Beach.

SPEAKER_01 42:44

Yeah. Don't give up your freedom for liberty.

SPEAKER_02 42:51

We need to make Myrtle Beach great again. I want the pagans and Hell's Angels. There we go. Make Myrtle Beach great again. We need thongs, cigarettes, flamethrowers, squatted trucks.

SPEAKER_01 43:06

I'll put on a fat, there we go. I'll put on a blonde wig, a fat suit, and we'll have a Myrtle Beach uh Myrtle make Myrtle Beach great again with a cigar in my mouth. How's that sound?

SPEAKER_03 43:19

I think that was great.

SPEAKER_02 43:20

Now we went from Mafia Mike to Mega Mike, but it's make Myrtle Beach great again. I'm liking these ideas. I think we should implement them. We have a large camera plan. We went uh the Connecticut cunning linguist and third eye Atherton and myself had gone to the beach in uh in a secret spot. I won't say it will will uh it rhymes with Molly's Pyland. No one go down there. Very secretive. And then we saw like 90 flock cameras.

SPEAKER_00 43:57

It's like a protect the rich. We gotta have the truth.

SPEAKER_02 44:06

Yeah, like signs. Would it be a crime to go up with a sign saying like flock the flock cameras or something and flipping it off? Would we all get arrested? Probably, but arrested for blocking flock investigations. Yeah, no, I don't know. We'll figure out we'll chat GPT the laws. We'll skim over them real quick before we go.

SPEAKER_00 44:28

We'll have Anna We'll have Anna do it first and then find out if it's uh something get rested for if Anna ends up in an ankle bracelet, we'll adjust our strategy. Yeah. The the Ana Anna Heron um yeah, uh canary in the uh we will not say her last name.

SPEAKER_02 44:53

We only refer to her as ankle bracelet Anna.

SPEAKER_03 44:56

Hold on, now you can bracelet Anna.

SPEAKER_01 44:58

That's great.

SPEAKER_03 44:59

Standing in front of the sign where standing in front of it where it can see where the camera can. See you with the sign that's got a Canadian goose and say with the tagline feed the flock.

SPEAKER_00 45:10

Yeah, there you go.

SPEAKER_03 45:11

And surfside.

SPEAKER_00 45:13

There's a lot of ideas curved.

SPEAKER_01 45:16

There you go. Get the flocking to see how to get the whole Ori County. The cops are ready to arrest it over there. Hey, on SurfSide.

SPEAKER_03 45:26

Has anybody seen this? Did you see have you seen this? There, and I don't know who did it. I I was talking to somebody the other day. We can't figure out who did it, but they've got a sign, like one of those uh lead signs, you know, that changes all the time with a with a still image, right? Huge billboard. And it said uh it has the Democratic logo and the Republican logo side by side on both sides, and it says resist socialism. And I mean it's huge, it's a billboard. Who did that? It's in SurfSide. I know, but it's got no brought to you by S by, but it's it's a gigantic like video billboard, and there it was. I've seen it twice now. My mom saw it. She was like, what on earth?

SPEAKER_01 46:12

I'm like I'm sure I'm getting blamed for it. They throw it at you gently with a billboard, saying, you know, this is okay, this is okay. Then they implement it slowly so people don't rough the feathers, and then it just becomes law.

SPEAKER_02 46:33

How much would it cost to pay for a billboard? Like go flock yourself and show where all the cameras are.

SPEAKER_03 46:40

Hold on a second, I do know what a billboard costs from Lamar. I can do it. We have an Ori County budget, but I paid for one in North Carolina, and I think man, I think it's like 500 bucks a month, what I paid.

SPEAKER_02 46:55

We we have a thousand dollar budget in Ori County. We could go Ori County Libertarian Party.

SPEAKER_03 47:01

See, the thing is they they you've gotta pay for it, they lock you in for like months to get a good rate. They do.

SPEAKER_02 47:09

Bastards.

SPEAKER_03 47:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:11

Well then we'll we're back to the the Walmart uh passing out second marker signs.

SPEAKER_00 47:18

Oh, we'll just have a spinner sign to a monkey. Yeah. Well, that's just like us carrying it around, so same thing.

SPEAKER_02 47:29

Monkey with his own. We'll have the monkey we saw. Oh, they see this is why we need to find the laws on this, because this is how we're gonna get publicity this month. That this will be the biggest blow-up thing we can have. There's a website. The the Connecticut Cunning Linguist sent it to me. It is uh dflock.org. It shows maps of all the flock cameras in any area in the US. Yeah, it lights up on the East Coast, it's just like a big sun of light, and you zoom into Ori County, and they're like all over the place. They start sprinkling in when you get near Huntington Beach State Park, and then it just builds up, and we need to go and do a photo shoot, do some videos, and cause total mayhem. Well, we will have a flock resolution.

SPEAKER_01 48:26

The government watching you.

SPEAKER_03 48:28

Yeah, you've already been on the list. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 48:31

Now we're watching the government. Well, they had a special too that the flock tries to advertise that they have all these uh recoveries from all these stolen vehicles because of it. But what they don't tell you is that they don't have any uptick in arrests because by the time they get these stolen vehicles, the people are gone. So they the the the flock cameras have not reduced crime one iota in their history.

SPEAKER_02 49:02

Yeah, they're glad you just property abolished Yeah. I'm glad we abolished the Fourth Amendment to have a little uptick in uh you know identifying stolen cars. But at the same time, they're identifying, scanning every person, license plate, the make and model of your car, where you're going, what you're doing.

SPEAKER_00 49:24

And it doesn't make us any safer. Not one iota.

SPEAKER_03 49:31

I feel really safe.

SPEAKER_01 49:32

I I want my trade safety for liberty.

SPEAKER_03 49:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:37

Yeah. That's the Ori County way.

SPEAKER_01 49:41

Well, that's the American way.

SPEAKER_02 49:49

Well, and here's the thing. By the time this pod comes out, we will have an Ori County flock resolution, and some of us may no longer be free. We may be behind bars for some wild activities we'll be doing. So we'll we'll figure out we'll get some shenanigans going. We'll bail you out, Darren. Darren's the most dangerous one.

SPEAKER_00 50:11

That's right. Dangerous Darren.

SPEAKER_02 50:16

But I did. We do have a final, more of a moralistic story today.

SPEAKER_03 50:23

Oh Mother.

SPEAKER_02 50:24

Yes. From Baptistnews.com. We have men-only gyms seek to protect Christian men from lust.

SPEAKER_03 50:37

Where is this happening? Is this in Florida? It probably is in Florida. What is this?

SPEAKER_02 50:44

Oh, it it's uh I I it may be in Oklahoma.

SPEAKER_03 50:49

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 50:53

C A.

SPEAKER_03 50:56

Do not go to the gym, you lustful sinners.

SPEAKER_00 50:59

Well, what about the city?

SPEAKER_02 51:03

Yeah, that's the first thing in the comments are saying. This is the grinder gym. The grinder gym. They're just looking at sweaty men all day.

SPEAKER_00 51:18

Their phones looking at their hinge account.

SPEAKER_02 51:25

I only want to see sweaty men in shorts doing sumo squats. And that's not gay at all. That I'm taking the Christian route. What does it really say? Because this is yeah, concerning. They're breeding new priests. Well, here's the thing. When you go to even like Planet Fit, love the Boy Scout workout routine. Oh god. It's terrible. One of my favorite jokes of all time, no offense to any Catholic friends listening. My single favorite joke of all time that shocks people about half the time, and it's it's just beautiful. What is the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? I don't know. What is what is the difference between a catney? Acne only comes on a boy's face after he turns 12. So that's one of my favorite. I know I I I've I I've shared that one a few times, but that's one of my favorites. But in in this Oklahoma City gym, it's seeing we're witnessing the rise to power through Rededicate 250 events where men like Mark Driscoll called on young men to get married and go to business, etc. And Doug Wilson repealing the 19th Amendment. He's a pretty cool guy. And Al Moller's amendment to prohibit female preachers, and that is the first part of this movement. But of course, male-only voting booths were only one thing. How can men survive the daily grind of being around women and becoming warrior kings like Doug Wilson? To reach the peak, this manosphere believes is it obviously is uh this is a BaptistNew.com, but it's reading like a left-wing journalist. To reach that peak, the Christian manosphere must be in top physical and spiritual shape. So one way they're proposing to accomplish this is woman-free gyms. It says porn addiction and infidelity have been rising. Why are we men's only? Who are we? asked Jeff Hembrich, founder of Proverbs 2717 Fitness in Oklahoma City. In a nutshell, one of the number one places for affairs and cheating is the gym. The byproduct is someone who had an affair in my previous marriage. That didn't work out well for me. So there's some also results.

SPEAKER_01 54:18

So this is a way to for sex acts to get repral.

SPEAKER_02 54:23

Well, and here's the thing: you go to any gym, including like Planet Fitness, big corporate ones. Women wear total ass paint and do the stair climber and they do their squats. And wear the tightest clothes possible. Yeah, it looks like they literally painted their ass cheap and their titties. And then they allowed sweating a lot. Yeah. See, there's a very diverse uh array of eye candy. You have homeless trans women. And you have uh the the the younger ladies. This is half the reason you go to the gym. Well, if you can have a barbell in your own in your house.

SPEAKER_00 55:08

Well, if it's a woman's free gym, that means you're not paying for the woman. So that is novel right there.

SPEAKER_02 55:15

Yeah, that's see, this is where Will's entrepreneurial hat comes on.

SPEAKER_00 55:21

That's right.

SPEAKER_02 55:23

Women come free and men pay double.

SPEAKER_00 55:26

Horny and cheap. That's me. Horny and cheap.

SPEAKER_03 55:33

I don't know how to read this. Is it a cry for help or is it some sort of yeah?

SPEAKER_02 55:42

The moment the guy who founded it said, This gyms are where affairs happen. That's why my wife left me. It's like, oh yeah, I think we just deconstructed this one.

SPEAKER_00 55:52

Sex addict. It's not your wife left you for a man.

SPEAKER_02 56:01

We need virgin gyms with no women. According to the gym's website, there was a season of his life marked by homelessness, addiction, and spiritual emptiness leading to pornography addiction. Mitch Parsons, founder of Youth Group for Men, had a similar experience. I quit four gyms before I built one. I realized the problem wasn't the gym, it was that no one had built what I actually needed. Parsons said, Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_01 56:35

He's the problem.

SPEAKER_00 56:37

Well, and here's the thing about the 21st century.

SPEAKER_01 56:46

I think we need to get him one of those refrigerators.

SPEAKER_02 56:50

Yeah, yeah, he needs to cool it down a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 56:54

That's right. If you want blue balls, it'll get you blue balls either way.

SPEAKER_02 57:01

They already have the massage. We got to cover. They have the saunas. Why don't they have the the Do Hyman uh device? This is all these are all business ideas Wills is coming up with there. That's right. It says it says the title of Trying to Survive Women at the Gym. Apparently, walking on the treadmill next to a woman is too much. I was tired of having nakedness shoved in my face every time I go to train. What was he getting tired of that?

SPEAKER_01 57:34

Shoved in his face every time? Who cares?

SPEAKER_00 57:38

I would never be tired of that. We paid to go see nakedness every time. Randy and I have to go back. Randy and I have to do another research project here soon.

SPEAKER_02 57:50

Will is trying to find where he wants to be the money sweeper, and we're going to every single strip club in the grand strand until he finds the right one. I think Randy and I have to pay Crazy Horse.

SPEAKER_00 58:02

Yeah. Randy and I have to go to Crazy Horse next.

SPEAKER_02 58:08

Will be the Lurch of Liberty money sweeper of the Grand Strand. He'll be like that bodyguard of Jerry Springer.

SPEAKER_01 58:17

He'll be in a janitor suit with a broom and a shovel. Dirty eyeball on the girls. It'll be growling like a dog.

SPEAKER_02 58:32

This guy said, I am tired of having this nakedness shoved in my face. I have to choose between the Lord, my wife, guarding my eyes or training my body, so I quit all four gyms. It's like, dude, you can get dumbbells, dude. If this is much of a problem, you might want to go in back to the house. In addition, it's notable he doesn't mention honoring the women at the gym. This this BaptistNews.com might be one of those like episcopal, like left Baptists or something. They are writing this very lefty-like. They're mocking him pretty hard. I'm skipping some of it. But the woman working with the kettlebells don't seem to cross his mind as worthy, the article says. Also, despite how Parsons mentions having nakedness shoved in his face, it's unclear what he meant. Gym policies across Oklahoma require members to wear shirts at all times. What he was seeing there can't be unseen.

SPEAKER_01 59:38

He's scarred for life by these dirty gym women. He needs a blindfold when he goes to the gym.

SPEAKER_02 59:47

Yeah, it says Christian men are at war daily. There is no base camp. Wait, wait, he's at war daily with what? With looking at these naked women. He's a horn dog. Yeah. He also has a history of porn addiction. So this man clearly clearly has a few uh rap shots.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:07

That's what he's trying to prevent. I think he's got his own. His wife left him.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:14

He has a hardcore porn addiction, and now he's screaming at the world to put the naked women away. It's the hamburger hairs.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:27

I can't handle it, so you shouldn't either.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:34

I mean, he's thinking outside of the box. Let's go from the 21st century to the 11th century. It says Hambrich compares such trials to fiery furnaces in ancient Babylon. You're going to have some hard times, he tells men of the gym. You're going to allow yourself to suffer because you're going to come out unscathed and refined. Shadrich, Meshoch, and Abnego went into fire, but they came out unscathed.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:10

Boy, you butchered all this guy. Abendigo, Shadrach, and Meshach, but you're really butchered. You know the atheist is really the article. Yeah, I was gonna say you're not a biblical scholar.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:26

Well, he won't be a he won't be a Bible scholar. El Ran Hubard and the uh L.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:36

Ron Hoover in the School of Applientology. L. Ron Hoover and Joe Joe Siph's knife. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:45

Hey, for the men of Oklahoma City. Oh, are we right there? Okay. Beautiful. Well, this was sharpening each other's iron at the Men-only Gym. We discussed a lot of very fun things. The Connecticut cunning linguist will be berated until he comes on the show. And our silverback friend, who I shall not name either one, will be on soon. And we may all be arrested by the show next week because of some flock shenanigans. But that is this week's show, and I will throw it to the arch of Liberty himself.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:25

All right. Well, that's been another uh wonderful adventure that we've had with Microphone Monkeys that drops every Thursday. If you like this content and other content, check out LibertyCrackmedia.com. And uh for this week, say goodbye, monkeys.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:45

Here we see you! Walking down the street, got the gold, no tax system, free to speak, and free to trade, market set up, no name.