The LAST Remote Monkeys for a While...

This should be the LAST of the Monkeys having to record remotely for a while.  Even with the distance between them, the crazy subjects and wild topics continue where hilarity continues!

Rebel Rabbit infused seltzers.  Get a free Microphone Monkeys button at the Inlet Dispensary in Murrell's Inlet.

Check out the Tripp (and Graham) has Issues podcast!

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 1:39

And uh this is the final, I believe this is the final remote episode. So uh I hope so.

SPEAKER_01 1:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:51

Will uh has taken tied up all the loose ends uh in his interstate travel, so now he'll be uh finding his way back.

SPEAKER_03 1:59

Um this has absolutely been insane. Um and and and and the the comments I'm getting from people about the quality and everything else, and I'm like, well, you know, please excuse us. We've you know, this is we've been traveling, we're trying different things, so on and so forth. Well, if you make sure that so-and-so is tuned up, and if you do this, and I'm like, uh yeah, that that really helps after the fact.

SPEAKER_04 2:33

We've been doing a lot of extreme improvising over the past two or three weeks. Oh man, yeah. And then Well, if if that wasn't enough, I go, I have like 15 link sources today. Wow. And none of them had any news new news stories, so I've had to search through the depths of Reddit. Oh no, not the Reddit death hole. Oh god. Oh man, there's no bias there. There's no there's no bias in Reddit. So this this may be a very wild extreme one. Oh I do get hostile. I do, I am joined today by our uh our Hindu friend, Astral Projection Atherton. Yay. All right, baby. And and we have uh Mafia Mike, who has a new podcast coming soon. I don't know what can be said publicly or not. I could say everything publicly, man. Everything. It's gonna be a smash hit. Absolutely. It's gonna be beautiful. He'll have to have me on. I know nothing about sports, uh, but I can try to uh be our Jimmy, he'll be our Jimmy the Greek, the guy who thought he knew everything didn't know nothing. That's him, that's him. I can see it now. Yeah, I can I'm going to the Pelicans game. I'm going to the Pelicans game with my mom tonight. We got good seats down there behind home plate. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:08

Dang, very nice. I'm jealous. I am so jealous. Well, did you see that I had um I I put in Gutfeld hat on a microphone monkey uh episode. He had robot teacher nixed after the company of and I I put that on. I put the the little clip up on uh on our little uh monkey chat. Yeah, that New York story. Um you know that's funny because it might be the New York school. It it was it was a school. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 4:44

Yeah, I ran across it. They started saying, why are you buying a sixty thousand dollar sex robot for our school who can't I think one of the employees just got caught up in a little uh embezzlement scheme there? That didn't even last a week. That didn't even last a week. What a letdown. Well, and it was in Salamanca, it was on a reservation in New York. Oh man. Yeah. They're known for you know all of a sudden the dad started attending class to let a parent teacher after the 6000 sex robot, and Mafia Mike had sent me a story. They're trying to ban foreign imported sex robots now.

SPEAKER_03 5:35

Oh, well, you gotta buy domestic sex robots. I mean, come on.

SPEAKER_04 5:39

Yeah, but I but I told them if you can't have the cheaper imported ones, we'll we'll have to uh go back to using hookers again now. We finally got you off of it. I know we we had you you you tried to pre-order three Chinese sex robots and uh form a union.

SPEAKER_03 5:59

The dangers of going back to natural, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 6:02

I know. These are the downsides of protectionism where we're gonna have to go to uh kung fu. They're built in kung fu robots, too. Yeah, you don't want to uh you don't want the Chinese girl kung fu robots. But here's all and I didn't introduce our friend Dark Webb Detmering, the glorious producer, as uh Austin calls him.

SPEAKER_03 6:29

Or or the awful producer, as I've been getting from the comment section for the last two weeks.

SPEAKER_04 6:36

Hey, we had we did D scripts, we've been doing call the group calls. We've been making them work. We haven't missed one podcast. Oh, that's it. That's right.

SPEAKER_03 6:45

And during this time, we've we've even thought about expanding our lines into two new podcasts. We've got the sports podcast, and we may have a brand new uh conspiracy podcast coming out. And we have for our listeners. If you have a chance to, when this drops on Thursday, you might want to go back an episode and check out the uh the episode that dropped today. It's a Friday episode, so it's uh kind of special. And uh yeah. Very special. Yeah. And it came out It was a blast. We had our our conspiracy around Massachusetts Bill. Bo Bohemian Bohemian G Grove Bills episode, yeah. That's how you titled it, so yeah. Oh, beautiful, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 7:34

Well, I I wanted to I did find in a last-minute attempt, I found eight Reddit stories. Oh this week we have Vietnamese doctors performing penis transplants. Oh, we have Florida man pastors suing ChatGPT over medical advice. We have eBay terrorizing guests or uh terrorizing customers with uh cockroaches and dead animals. We have people urinating on families at Morgan Wall and concerts and many more. So I did fill in all the stories, even though it was light this week.

SPEAKER_03 8:18

Is is uh is Jeff a uh 6742 number?

SPEAKER_04 8:25

Uh he might be. He might be. Okay, hold on.

SPEAKER_03 8:30

Hello. Hello. Oh you guys are still there, right? Oh, okay. So I a number just came in and uh I tried to answer it, and um yeah, I guess it's a miss call.

SPEAKER_04 8:48

Um that and by the way, that is not uh El Jefe's number, aka uh Wong Dong Layton. Okay, don't give it out on air. I'm not giving it all. No, no, no. He's really emotional. That would not be good. Isn't that like when Trump gave out Lindsey Graham's number? Oh, yeah. And he had to change his phone. I tried, I had one of the people, I did not name names, but I mentioned Silverback and Longdong as two new potential call-ins.

SPEAKER_02 9:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 9:26

And uh Silverback contacted me on uh who the hell is Silverback and Longdong. In due time, the the uh the listeners will find out. We we have to get them coordinated on. But I would like to start with Vietnamese doctors perform first successful transplant on 43-year-old men. Oh wow. So this is very this is part of our medical progress. This is big progress. Yeah, big progress. It was from a cadaver brain dead man. But doctors a Democrat. This is a voter in California. It was a midterm voter. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:22

Mitch McConnell is still donating, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 10:29

This now, if you this is a 43-year-old man who went to Hanoi's Viet Duck Friendship Hospital. So you they I I don't know if he can perform what it's usually intended for, but he does have a uh cadaver cadaver pecker. It says doctors in Vietnam have successfully carried out the country's first penis transplant using a brain-dead voter or a brain dead voter donor.

SPEAKER_01 11:06

I like the voter.

SPEAKER_04 11:11

After reviewing his medical condition, specialists concluded he was suitable for a transplant. It says a penectomy is a procedure involving partial or complete removal of the penis, according to Yale Medicine. Dr. Naiu Jin Quang, director of the Andrology Center, said it involved rebuilding key structures of the penis while reconnecting tiny blood vessels through microsurgery. Wow. So this uh yeah, this is uh very sounds creepy.

SPEAKER_03 11:48

Well, I'm trying to I'm trying to think why why you'd what in what instance well I guess if you had an Elena Bobbit. Yeah, maybe if you had an Elena Bobbit moment or something like that, but other outside of that, oh he's tired of peeing sitting down.

SPEAKER_04 12:05

He needs a cadaver of penis. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:09

That's all right.

SPEAKER_04 12:10

Do you think you could if you if you if your penis was removed, do you think you could still aim and pee sitting up? Or would it be like you have a vagina? It shoots crooked left.

SPEAKER_03 12:24

Oh, that'll Yeah, that that'll really ricochet uh the bent the bent cucumber uh problem, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:34

Yeah. And me, myself, and Irene, you have that problem after doing things with watermelons, though. Oh Lord. Oh man. But there's there's a lot again, again, and I probably read it with the bias, but there's all this missing information going on here, like what was the metal condition? Yeah. He's qualified, but what was it? And hey, is this a fully functioning unit? Or does it just sit there? I mean, what's going on? Nothing. Again, the boner. You see the the thing about this is if it's a dead Yeah, it's a thing. It's it's maybe like those those guidance things that you put when you're bowling, you put them in the gutters. This might just be a like a guide missile type thing with no other uh you know activities that can partake in. It did say microsurgery. Yeah. So who knows the the size of this thing either. But was he uh was it a black dick on a Chinese man?

SPEAKER_03 13:44

Well, I'm just I'm just wondering about you know these uh famous porn stars traveling abroad. Yeah, if their life will be in danger. If they go to China, it will.

SPEAKER_04 14:02

See, people think that we're picking on Mafia Mike and we only do stereotypes, but all people do stereotypes on this podcast. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:13

Absolutely, absolutely. Oh, Mita Long Dong Silva. Come on in.

SPEAKER_04 14:22

You don't know what's so good. If they can specialize and they can if they can improve on this procedure, you know, we could have replaceable penises. Kind of like wigs. It's like, oh please, you have different different colors ones. That's right, different colors, shapes, you know, mix it up. Yeah. Maybe even have three, maybe even have three penises going at one time. Oh god. Oh man. Now, here speaking of magic. Well, it's just like the Hindus with the eight arms. Yeah, we have uh Apeckers popping them. That's right. Now, speaking of medicine, as uh as this weekly's the first transition of this week, I believe I was called the drag queen of transitions on the uh the last podcast. Chat GPT medical advice nearly killed a Florida pastor according to lawsuit. Now, this I was reading this, and they leave out one core detail, of course, which is when you talk to ChatGPT, it tailors its answers towards questions and your history of interacting with it. Ah, yeah. So it also says at the bottom, read the fucking fine print. Yeah. Yeah, and everyone knows Chat GPT is not a literal medical doctor, even though we all use it for more legal and medical advice every day. It says a Florida man sued open AI, alleging it its medical advice discouraged him from seeking treatment for a pulmonary embolism. Scott Winners, a pastor in Florida, filed against a lawsuit against OpenAI claiming that Chatbot made inaccurate recommendations and imperiled his health. He argued ChatGPT crossed the line from uh information into practicing medicine. ChatGPT version four opined and evaluated his physical condition, conveying confidence on medical questions. Winter's uh and tech justice law accused OpenAI of exploiting Winter's religious beliefs. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 16:59

My counter If I was an attorney, my counter argument would be well, it's God that actually interfered with it because it wanted him to suffer from the world.

SPEAKER_04 17:11

If you're a Christian scientist and you ask 9,000 questions on why you don't need medical uh treatment, uh it's gonna be rec and inclined to uh confirm your confirmation biases. Uh yeah. Yeah, this this safety guidelines stuff, man, it's just gonna slow us all down. It already says I've never had any of these models not say seek medical help. Right? Cardrails are there. This guy is just gonna sh one of those shut it down for everybody because I had a bad experience people. Yeah. Yeah, he's the hot coffee in my lap guy. Uh yeah, exactly. Well, they have uh there's an attorney, Matthew Bergman, for the social media victims law center that says if ChatGPT is going to give medical advice, it can also be guilty of medical malpractice. And the main instance that the they used is the chatbot Drew on Winner's previously discussed spirituality, telling him God did not design your body to fail. Oh and it yeah, and it turned out the pain in his groin was a pulmonary embolism. Here's the thing, dude. When are we gonna stop treating adults like children? Yay and they can just sue endlessly for for frivolous bullshit. Oh yeah, yeah. I mean, it's better they need to do like WebMD. You could be cancer. Every there every if they're uh or your ear burning says it could be cancer. Yeah, that that could be stage four cancer. Yeah. It's used to be determined. So they they got it all covered so they don't get sued. Yeah. Yeah. But I thought that was just an interesting medical um well it's event this week. It's like this weird, man. I had Gemini do something on me this week where I was talking about medical stuff and procedures that I've had.

SPEAKER_03 19:20

Ooh.

SPEAKER_04 19:21

And I was just like, give me the options, and it wouldn't do it. It was going in circles. It was like, uh, seek medical advice. I'm like, yeah, but what is the procedure? I'm just asking the procedure, and it finally answered me.

SPEAKER_02 19:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 19:33

But it didn't, it was doing everything it could to steer me away from asking the question, which it's because of people like this. Yeah, because people like this suing.

SPEAKER_03 19:42

Well, it's also chat UPC won't do political. Was the final procedure go to uh Vietnam and ask them for the uh transplant?

SPEAKER_04 19:52

First, go to Salamanca and ask about their teacher robot, and then then we'll go visit Vietnam and see what their procedures are. Well, and that's also uh when I do like resolutions and stuff, or I'm making images or doing responses. Yeah chat GPT, if you don't word it very, very precisely, it won't answer certain political questions because it doesn't want to be considered biased. Oh yeah. But then Grok will just spit it out with no hesitation.

SPEAKER_03 20:24

Oh, I mean now Gemini's, you know. You can take an iconic photo, but if it has like a dictator or something like it, and you just want to make something funny for a friend, it will refuse these will refuse to do it. You know, it's too controversial and things like that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 20:42

Hitler and Trump are my favorite images I try to make, and they won't let me do either one.

SPEAKER_03 20:47

Right, right. Well, I mean, I I I had one recently where I I wanted to put somebody's face on Mussolini and it wouldn't do it. So I had to put them next to Mussolini.

unknown 20:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 20:58

Oh, yeah, it's a beautiful photo, by the way. It's pretty awesome. That'll be released soon. Yes. That's what Darren's right. You sue everyone. This is why they don't have play b bins and uh McDonald's anymore.

SPEAKER_03 21:15

And you I mean, thank thank God none of us monkeys have any uh real assets to our name because we would probably be sued up and down, you know. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:28

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 21:29

When when they do this transcripts from us, we're just gonna steal our bad thoughts. Is that what you want? Yeah. You know what solves this is like the local AI solves a lot of this. You build your own models, you keep it on a device that's not connected to the connection, and you got local AI. And you just do imports every now and then, and you're just like, yeah, go ahead, try and censor me. You'd think with these large language models, they should have an offline version. Doesn't China have a bunch of Wild West versions of AI? They do. You can already do this now. You can do this with a PC in your own home, and you can have you can build up your own models, and you can even model them after other models and after people.

SPEAKER_01 22:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:16

And you can have it sit in their local right there in your living room, and they're working on building better ones that are distributed. That's the future. Total distributed ones. So like we could all be sharing AI models that have nothing to do with the data center or the cloud. Zip Nada. Oh, beautiful. Yeah, that's that's the next decentralized revolution of AI.

SPEAKER_01 22:39

Yeah, no more.

SPEAKER_04 22:42

Uh speaking of um online platforms, eBay reaches fifty five million dollar settlement with Massachusetts couple that was terrorized in a stocking scandal. Does anyone well I guess Most people do still use eBay. I do eBay seems like money off of eBay. She makes bank. They sent her to Vegas. She was a high earner and they sent her to Vegas at their convention. Oh yeah. Oh my God. eBay does have a niche market. You can get a lot of uh custom uh stuff on auctioning, finding old things.

SPEAKER_03 23:29

You know, people that have niche um like antique things that they want or niche sports things they want. That's eBay's the way to go.

SPEAKER_04 23:40

Who was what? Somebody from eBay was stalking the person? Well, yeah, so speaking of niche markets, Ina and David Steiner, who who run e-commerce bites from their home, started receiving online threats and upsetting deliveries, including a bloody pig mask, live spiders, and a book on surviving the death of a spouse. Dang. That sounds like it sounds like kids in the neighborhood pranking on 'em. This is a high neighborhood that you grow up in. I mean, come on. Theoretically.

SPEAKER_03 24:30

I want to visit Mike's Mike's old neighborhood, you know. As long as I'm wearing a flat jacket. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 24:38

It's Halloween. It's Halloween every day there. This is this is why Mike. This is why Mike had to leave Connecticut. There were a couple stalking incidents. Uh it says pornographic magazines addressed to David Steiner were purposefully sent to their neighbors. So this is a very ingenious uh stalker using this eBay platform. I'm still not sure why eBay should be uh fine $55 million.

SPEAKER_03 25:17

Well, there are a couple libertarians I think we should try this with.

SPEAKER_04 25:26

These are some great ideas. Especially we're not gonna get to we'll just start using Amazon to uh we we we have our own little stock list. It says we have we had to fight a hard uh battle, and it's hard to believe it's now over, but I'm very happy we can finally live in peace. Law enforcement was able to trace a rental van that follow followed David Steiner one day back to an eBay employee. Oh and the Department of Justice, oh, this is getting deep. Wow, Department of Justice charged seven eBay executives with cyber stalking. Some even went to prison. Holy job. Man, yeah, this was a high level. Why did why why did they target them? That's the question. It does say uh there was a quote, I want to see ashes. Federal prosecutors say leaders at the company were enraged by a couple's newsletter and critical comments were posted online. Take her down, I want to see ashes as long as it takes, wherever it takes. Former Chief Communications Offer uh Officer Steve Weimer wrote. And the signers told 60 minutes, they started sleeping in separate rooms, so if someone broke in, at least one of them could call the police. It felt like corporate terrorism because we were being terrorized and it was very calculated and vicious. The couple will receive 48.7 million, including two million from Wenig. eBay will give six million to various charities, and Wenig will donate one million to a First Amendment charity in Steiner's name. This sounds look past the money, look past the roaches and the spiders, and tell me it says about the times you live in. So then so this was a big corporate plan.

SPEAKER_03 27:35

This sounds like something that would be uh like a special movie on oxygen channel.

SPEAKER_04 27:41

Yeah, kind of like the my o minority report. Yeah. Yeah. So these guys are up to no good. They're yeah, high-level eBay execs.

SPEAKER_01 27:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 27:51

Yeah, not good. Not good at all. Well, I mean, dead cockroaches, spiders, a bloody pig mask.

SPEAKER_03 28:00

I mean, I mean, what what was her I mean, what was her ultimate goal here? I mean terror. Terror. I mean, why? I mean, how how would they financially or how would they benefit? What's their benefit on the on the terror?

SPEAKER_04 28:17

You know what I'm thinking? Well, I'm thinking a lot of this has to do with out there in the West. They don't have Alabama barbecue. Oh, so they just wound tight. Yeah. Yeah, they're wound up. Yep. Yeah, but what did they say about Eevee that was so bad that the execs went after them like that? That's what I want to know. Yeah, there's a trillion blogs online. Well, what the hell could they possibly have said?

SPEAKER_01 28:42

Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 28:43

Yeah, I mean, see. This will have to be a follow-up next week. We're gonna have to look up these signers and figure out what happened.

SPEAKER_03 28:51

Well, that's it. And then all of a sudden Randy is gonna get these magazines sent to his house.

SPEAKER_04 28:59

These are some pretty ingenious ideas. I love the idea of sending porno mags to all your neighbors, but with your name.

SPEAKER_03 29:15

Thanks for getting my magazine, Timmy.

SPEAKER_04 29:18

I think Will might be extremely free.

SPEAKER_03 29:26

I'd be one of those people they'd try to terrorize, but it wouldn't work because I'd be like, hey, think it's free magazines, right? Thank you for the fire. They try to ruin my reputation and find out I don't have one.

SPEAKER_04 29:46

Well, speaking of people with questionable reputations. I'm on board. A boy, a five-year-old boy urinated in his pants, and the teacher burned his private parts with a hot knife in India. Oh, oh, you oh boy. What kind of torture? I know. I think this uh, yeah, the the teachers in New York have sex robots, and in India they uh they deal with things more of a mafia mic style when they don't like what you do. Oh my god. They get the knife out. Man, this it's a long flight from India to Vietnam.

SPEAKER_03 30:34

Oh yeah, I I I have a I just have this strange feeling that's a very important thing. India just was not in the right uh I don't know, right employment?

SPEAKER_04 30:45

No, it sounds like a bar it sounds like an Indian bar mitzvah and a circumcision. Yeah. He did a little uh uh unofficial circumcision, yeah. State punishment to me. Did this lady get uh you know there ramifications for this, or do they just, oh good job, we'll give you a raise? Like what is it? Uh well it says police in Varanasai have registered a case against the teacher, the principal and management of a private school after a five-year-old nursery student was burned with a heated knife. The incident took place, yeah, in a private school, a fancy school. According to the complaint, the child what the chain we're changing we're gonna give instead of giving them rollers to beat the kids, we're giving them knives to cut them. In Singapore, they beat them with canes, in India they uh they they heat up the knife.

SPEAKER_02 31:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 31:48

According to the complaint, the child, son of Kisari Kumar, asked the teacher, identified as pre-Keshwaha, for permission to use the bathroom. When permission was refused, the child urinated in his pants. The teacher allegedly took the child into another room, heated a knife, and burned his private parts. The complaint states the child was also beaten and wanted to not make the same mistake again. So the family was uh left shocked, and the child returned home with his burning injuries.

SPEAKER_03 32:27

And the police were involved. I do want to uh reach out to the Jewish community that might be uh listening to us and apologize for getting a brist mixed up with a bar mitza.

SPEAKER_01 32:38

We we do know the difference.

SPEAKER_03 32:40

So if you're a burrow out there, we'll we'll have you in the uh in the correct ceremony.

SPEAKER_04 32:48

We're gonna we're gonna pretty good on the uh friend everybody thing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 32:53

Well I will say he gets very disappointed that there's no foreskin getting whacked.

SPEAKER_04 33:06

I will say in New York City, uh Jewish rabbis have gotten trouble for very similar activities. Ah let's say I won't go into further detail. I don't want any losses, but uh yeah. There's been known to uh to have some questionable ultra-orthodox practices. Just look it up if you're interested. But speaking of suffering injuries, Darren and I get the Hoff isn't here, so we got to. Darren has also been stalked and threatened by the I I'll I'll let him fill in the story another time, but yeah. Darren has been the victim of a few crazy women, including uh ones following him around parties, but but we'll get into that another day. Uh smelt my fingers. Darren is a magnet for wacko woman. But Idaho unicyclist suffers injury during Guinness World Record attempts. An Idaho man with his sights on the Guinness World Record for juggling flaming torches while riding a unicycle had a hair-raising close call in his quest for glory. Wow. Uh hair hair singing, at least. David Rush, who holds several world records for juggling and unicycling, decided to combine the unique skills in an attempt to break another world record, topping 37 successful torch catches from the seat from the seat of a unicycle. Wow. Unfortunately, he charged headlong into the effort, brimming with unearned confidence, he wrote, and he quickly learned the high price of his hubris and paid for it with his eyebrows. When he underestimated he underestimated the physics of wind's effects and flaming kerosene torches. He found out within 30 seconds his eyebrows were instant casualties. The hair on the back of his hands was scorched down to the skin, and the garage filled with heavy stomach-turning stench of singed keratin. This does sound like uh this sounds like a world record Will would have. He's got some questionable things. He quickly found out that not all fire behaves the same way under centrifugal forces. So after his painful trial and error, he finally settled on kerosene for its predictable burn characteristics. But uh, as he started the routine, he did not build enough muscle memory and almost melted his face off.

SPEAKER_03 36:22

So if he if he wanted hair removal, he should have just looked up one of Darren's happy ending salons.

SPEAKER_04 36:30

Oh incriminate me on any of this. No, don't pull Darren into this yet. We know we're on the list, Darren. I don't want to offend anybody that has the power of authority, that's for sure. God forbid. It's enough we keep talking about feeding the geese. I know. I know. We've been tracking that too. They uh hey, Darren, the geese are gonna sue you next. Well, we we did. I send Darren a draft resolution because Surfside uh they have uh they've taken it from feeding specific types of birds to feeding any type of wildlife. They can throw you in jail for 30 days and fine you like a half thousand dollars. So on your own property. Yeah, I I know Ory County's kind of on indefinite hiatus right now, but probably pissed them off so much. They're pissed them off so much you said, well, you know what, we're gonna make it all the birds. Yeah. See I I like us now. We could have could you do a Guinness World Record involving torches and birds? Would that be a that'd probably be immediate animal cruelty? Yeah, I'm not in on that. You're in on your own. Yeah, that no scorching uh birds alive or anything. But it did say scorched but undeterred, Rush has begun begun practicing more torch activities to see if he can uh break another record by Halloween. So what is the deal with these Guinness World Record people? That is for the last 20 years, it's like there's people whose whole career is to break obscure world records and and endanger themselves and possibly others. So I saw the one with the longest fingernails, the lady with the longest fingernails, she was in Heathrow in London in the airport. She was walking with her daughter. And I mean it was a sight to see. These fingernails, they wrapped around like in circles, and she had no uh polish on them, so they were this horrific yellow-black color. Well, yeah, because the the uh the nails probably die off. Yeah, yeah. They don't get blood flow. Oh my gosh. Yeah, this was a very weird industry. But it it does. I thought that was in line with the monkey show. Scorching the eyebrows off. Well, I know when we went to Masters, we we could have had a few hairs scorched off. Oh, because there might have been some girls with cooties in there.

SPEAKER_03 39:26

Well, if there were, they probably would have been buried into your shorts because you had the couple of old girls sitting on your lap really hard. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 39:35

Really hard doing money extraction tactics. I guess you wouldn't have to laser your pubes off. You could just get lap dances from the uh the Colombian ladies that uh half molested us in there. Oh yeah. But speaking of uh younger women, elderly Florida man faces charges after alleged sugar baby dispute ends in a car ramming gun threat. Hey, I I moved out of Clearwater a while ago, so this one is not on me. Every time Will tried to get sugar babies in Clearwater, he just ends up getting robbed. That's right. Very dangerous sound there. It says a man from the villages allegedly rammed a Tinder date's car causing a crash and pointing a rifle at the 22-year-old's face. This is a very Florida man story. Crazy old people. You know, that's right.

SPEAKER_03 40:46

Which has rampant FTDs in Florida, by the way. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 40:54

The 67-year-old man, 67 and 22. That's quite the age gap. Yeah. Uh that's about a 45-year age gap. Uh the 67-year-old man searched for a sugar baby, ended with him pointing a rifle at a 20-year-old and ramming a car into a telephone pole, according to his arrest report. Yeah. This is a great date. Yeah, the when you bring them out to uh to eat and give them money, and then they don't do anything. This is what this is the flip side of what happens with these sugar babies.

SPEAKER_03 41:29

That's right.

SPEAKER_04 41:29

Uh David Allen O'Brien. Oh, we got an Irish guy. We can do the Irish tropes now. I know. Crazy Ash Irish. The villages is a sprawling retirement community in Central Florida. But a man who resides there was arrested Tuesday on charges of aggravated assault and allegedly chasing down a 21-year-old woman who had paid in a sugar daddy arrangement and rammed her car with his truck. Randy, she's trying to find his pot of gold. I know. Lucky charms.

SPEAKER_01 42:11

He's magically delicious.

SPEAKER_04 42:15

He had uh he had a couple different little lucky charms in uh in this interaction. She wouldn't touch Lucky Lady. This is Malarkey. She won't touch my charms. Kiss McLean. Who can we offend next? Who can we offend next? That's right. We'll go through the all the British Isles. That's right. We'll deal with Darren's people. It's it says the arrest report details how O'Brien met the woman on Tinder and told her she he was looking for a sugar baby, a romantic arrangement involving older men spending lavishly on younger women. The pair agreed to meet in July, and the and he would give the woman a thousand dollars each visit, dinner, and I would love to shop for you, according to the affidavit. The woman showed up to a dinner with three friends waiting in the car. See, this is younger girls, they don't know how to how to do this, they screw this up. When she arrived, O'Brien gave the woman 200 and took her shopping for lingerie. Then they went to dinner where he gave her another 600. Afterward, they went back to his home where she began to feel uncomfortable and contacted her friends to come pick her up.

SPEAKER_03 43:40

Oh, like when she was supposed to pay out her portion of this arrangement. Yeah, then she wanted to take the money and run, yeah. I'm starting to sympathize with the uh the old dude.

SPEAKER_04 43:56

Yeah, this is his whole freaking monthly retirement. He gives this young 22-year-old, and she just uh basically robbed him.

unknown 44:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 44:04

Uh the defendant stated in the message the defendant stated he wanted to massage the woman's feet, and she was on the phone the entire time. The defendant advised the woman when she went to the bathroom when she came out, uh, she started to call an Uber to pick her up. O'Brien then told the woman she should give the money back because that was not the agreement. I'm agreeing with Will on this so far. The report adds, she got into her friend's car, at which point O'Brien allegedly began chasing them with his truck. See, I I am starting to this is like a a visual anti justice type of thing here.

SPEAKER_02 44:48

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 44:48

She basically just robbed him for a thousand bucks and disrespected him in every way possible. What do you expect when a seventy year old guy is is offering to pay you money to hang out with him?

SPEAKER_03 44:59

Yeah, i she should be just uh have her face splattered all over the place. Yeah. This ho is going to uh rob you blind.

SPEAKER_04 45:16

As me and Will have experienced. When the four friends reached a traffic circle, O'Brien rammed their car with his truck, forcing them to crash into a telephone pole. Yeah, this is awesome, according to the affidavit. When the f uh when they began to fled, the uh three of them fled, but when the fourth, the twenty a twenty-two-year-old male attempted to leave, he was met by O'Brien pointing a gun in his face. The defendant pointed his rifle at him and told him to get on the ground or he would kill him. Yeah, this is was this like the Charles Bronson of River Baby uh story?

SPEAKER_03 46:01

I'm from the villages. You don't mess with us.

SPEAKER_01 46:06

Go ahead. This guy probably couldn't even.

SPEAKER_04 46:11

So I I guess this does prove Irish people can be a little uh unstable, but I but I think I overall agree with him.

SPEAKER_03 46:22

Well, if you don't and you think that the uh sugar baby should have uh just been able to leave with that money, give us a comment and let us know.

SPEAKER_04 46:31

Let us know in the binding agreement of what goes and what doesn't. I mean, really, if you didn't have the binding agreement, what's the point of all this? Me, you know, we don't know.

SPEAKER_01 46:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 46:40

Well, it's like when you go in a restaurant. You you go in, you order something, it's like an implicit agreement. Yeah. I don't know. These people are weird, it could be anything. Some of these people will pay you to just yell at them. You know what I mean? He could have been one of those guys. I'm gonna give you a thousand dollars and I'm gonna kick you out to somewhere fancy so you can embarrass me in public. You know? Where do I sign up for that one? Well, it's called footage. I forgot I'm married. You gotta give me money and I'm gonna kick you in the balls and scream with you. They love that kind of stuff, man. They're weird. He's into feet and toes. I mean, who knows? Yeah. Yeah. Here's the thing younger girls, they think you have to, before you start giving money, you have to do a pre-meeting. See if she's gonna pull this kind of shit. And if not, you you don't give them any money.

SPEAKER_01 47:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 47:44

That's how this works. He I think he's just trying to dip into the sugar baby market and uh they're a little too streetwise for him.

SPEAKER_03 47:51

So that could be. Yeah. Or maybe or perhaps they did have an explicit uh agreement where everything was you know on the table, but she was trying to figure out how to get out from, you know, get the money and go. It's hard to say, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 48:09

Um you think he was uh drunk in line with his uh Irish ancestors? Could that have been an influence? Oh no doubt, no doubt. I think alcohol was involved. Yeah. You know what would have helped clarify all of this is flock cameras. I know.

SPEAKER_03 48:28

Oh, which by the way, if uh you're listening to Microphone Monkeys and you enjoy this episode, you may want to tune in to Conversations with the Hoff, where they're going to talk about get the flock out of here with flock cameras. All right, go on. Uh yeah, yeah. Jennifer and uh a cast of characters. Yep.

SPEAKER_04 48:48

Yeah, Jennifer is like the uh the queen of flock activism in uh South Carolina, and she's really spearheaded this issue in the LP.

SPEAKER_03 48:58

And I guess a couple of other people were gonna be guests on there too, yeah. Oh, very cool.

SPEAKER_04 49:04

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that yeah, I I noticed uh I posted some pictures. I was in surf side checking units, and I went down Main Street, or uh not Main Street, uh Melody Street. It's a side street going from King's Highway to the to uh Ocean Boulevard. Uh-huh. And there were two freaking flock cameras pointing each way on this little side street. Wow. When when are we gonna get signs? I I want to do some sort of we will draw a huge like penis picture going up with middle fingers, or but we need to do some field activism on this flock thing. Well, I mean uh and and when and when are they putting these cameras up in the middle of the night when nobody's driving? They have to be. There's over 80 in Ory County. There's like 30 in Conway. Yeah. And just in the city of Conway. And all of this is. You are. They're like contracting out with the city government, the city police. Your taxes are buying taxes. Is it the police or is it the the government itself? You'd probably both. Both. I wouldn't know the uh exact, but they're even trying to do it where they contract out and pay for them, but put them on private property, so they make them harder to take down. And they scan your vehicle, your license plate. Yeah, I posted a story on the uh a few of the South Carolina groups yesterday. There was a lady who was accused of doing uh uh porch pirate stealing packages. And they went to the wrong woman, but they used flock cameras and said, we can identify every single place you were for like hours, and we know 100%. And he pulled out pictures that said flock on the bottom.

SPEAKER_01 50:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 50:52

Because they're flocked like snapshots of the car and arrested her. Yeah. And it ended up it wasn't even her. Yeah. Yeah, I remember that story. Well, it was a woman. Yeah, they got the sex right. Yeah. On that G E. Yeah. Uh you know, we're all guilty, and it's only a matter of time before we're caught.

SPEAKER_03 51:14

Well, the other thing too is is Clock admitted that uh their software can be updated to um facial recognition.

SPEAKER_04 51:25

Oh yeah. Oh, I don't know. Now we're going into Chinese facial recognition.

SPEAKER_03 51:30

Yeah, that's exactly where this comes from. This is exactly where it comes from.

SPEAKER_04 51:35

Yeah. And uh, and I wrote the resolution for Lee, and they have them all through Polly's Island, all through Merle's Inlet, all through the city of Georgetown. There's like nowhere you could go in the Grand Strand where you're not being tracked with these law cameras.

SPEAKER_03 51:49

I y uh a few years ago, I was raising the alarm and nobody was listening when they had the uh presentations coming in for smart cities, and I said, do not, do not pass this. Do not let your municipi and of course all of them did. Myrtle beach led the way and uh to be a stupid city where you have all this technology brought in. And every place that's had a smart city um passage has uh absolutely gone to uh the toilet. It really has, uh with liberties and with taxes and uh with problems, because they they have these uh instances where they screw up and it costs the taxpayers uh millions of dollars trying to uh get that lawsuit you know taken off the books and everything else.

SPEAKER_04 52:40

So this is well and if anyone wants to if anyone wants to look in the US at least, if you go to maps.dflock.org, that's the one I use to write the Orion Georgetown resolutions, yeah, you can count and they light up the whole East Coast is just covered in block cameras.

SPEAKER_03 53:00

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 53:01

It's insane. You cannot go anywhere, you have no due process, and they're basically without any warrant, any probable cause, without anything.

SPEAKER_03 53:10

Right.

SPEAKER_04 53:10

They're 100% tracking you like it's China.

SPEAKER_03 53:13

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 53:14

Or North Korea.

SPEAKER_03 53:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 53:16

It's crazy. And I do agree with Aaron, though, that uh a blonde woman would be the prime suspect for stealing shopping packages. So the police might not have been completely wrong.

SPEAKER_01 53:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 53:32

Yeah, we're looking for a blonde woman named Karen. Now we've now we're upsetting the blonde. This is a good episode of just pissing everybody off. And the leaders of HOAs, yeah. Listen, we we know women be shopping. So when they bring it to the next level, it's when they go full porch pirates.

SPEAKER_03 53:54

Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 53:55

Exactly. But I thought that was uh, you know, quite quite the interesting little story. I know we only have a few minutes left, but I had two more that I found from the you know highly reputable source of Reddit. Non-biased.

SPEAKER_01 54:13

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 54:14

Non-biased concert goer says man urinated on his family at Morgan Wallen show in Baltimore.

SPEAKER_03 54:23

Morgan Wallen?

SPEAKER_04 54:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 54:25

I I think that's part of the that's part of the experience package. Well, this was in Baltimore, too.

SPEAKER_04 54:33

Yeah. Little extra spice added to it. It says a family is in shock after a man allegedly urinated on multiple people, including an eight-year-old, during a Morgan Wallen concert uh Saturday in Baltimore. A series of videos about the incident have gone viral, racking up more than a million views. Uh nothing better to do. Well that was he picked up by a flock camera? He might have been. Well, see, Morgan Wallen, you have country music, you have drunk people, probably a lot of Irish, I will say. Yeah, the Irish again, yeah. At Morgan Wallen country music uh festival, there's probably a lot of drunk Irish, even in Baltimore. There have to be. That's one of those old cities like Philadelphia. I'm sure there's a bunch of Irish that immigrated there 300 years ago.

SPEAKER_02 55:36

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 55:37

There have to be. Uh who would go to country concerts without drunk Irish people? That's true. Yeah, that's what I would like to know. Um this I don't think is stereotyping on Irish. Oh, sure, sure. It is it is commonly known. Not all Irish are drunk, it's just a vast majority.

SPEAKER_01 56:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 56:02

So and that's what makes up the country music market. But going back to this uh lovely story, after Wallen took the stage, Revelding said he and his wife felt something dripping on their legs. When they looked behind them, they said another man who they did not know was that the water was a very good thing. I want you to continue.

SPEAKER_03 56:26

Guys, I want you to continue uh to uh record, and um I I've got to go and uh I've got an emergency that's going on in the home, so just continue talking, all right?

SPEAKER_04 56:38

All right, well, we'll go for it. Well oh now there's no uh supervisor. Watch out. It's got a leak coming through the ceiling on that. He has a 22-year-old knocking on the door. He has to handle it real quick. Hey, I said it costs 2,000, not 1,000. Give me that 3,000 back. Bama's around the corner. I want my barbecue. Now, imagine if you're at a Morgan Wallen concert and you feel, you know, warm liquid going down your legs. And you look behind you and there's sorry about that. I'm back.

SPEAKER_03 57:18

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_04 57:19

Oh, okay. Did you did did you tell the 22-year-old to give the 600 back?

SPEAKER_03 57:25

Yeah. Don't I wish? No, my my um my sister was texting or calling um while we were trying to uh broadcast. My evidently my mother had a t a tumble and couldn't get a hold of my father. He's deaf as a bandicoot. Oh and so uh and I am just like maybe nine feet away from her, but the door is closed. I didn't know anything was going on, so and I have the cans on my ears, so uh yeah. So um uh dangerous combination. Yeah, yeah. Uh yeah, and this is this has been pretty much my my life uh here lately. But I I gotta say, my parents are in their 90s, they do great. Uh they do absolutely great, but um yeah, but uh things, issues like that come up.

SPEAKER_04 58:12

This is why life alert exists. Uh yeah, to get the necklace. Wait until the robots come. Ah, there we go. Well, and I know we have like two minutes left. Uh the this man, the the husband and wife felt warm liquid going down their legs and looked behind them and saw a man urinating on them. And then his two nieces were with him at the same time, including an eight-year-old girl who was urinated upon. Wow. As well. Gravelding said he tried to push the man away, and his family told him to stop. And he's just saying, Okay, it's okay, brother, as he was peeing on them.

SPEAKER_01 58:53

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 58:53

So Maryland uh Transportation Authority police uh got involved and uh dealt with him, and he was charged, he was charged with indecent exposure as a misdemeanor offense, uh, and put because of public urination, I guess, is not a crime. So he was on those dumb drugs, wasn't he? Yeah, I think he was on the uh the Irish whiskey. The dumb drugs smart city.

SPEAKER_01 59:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 59:25

There was another iPhone legal. I mean, it's legal to be on the dumb drugs. Yeah. How you behave is not. Right. How you behave. American Indians and Irish need their Irish whiskey. So just to check all the boxes off today. Exactly. There was another iPhone fertility story, but I think we're coming to a hard stop here.

SPEAKER_03 59:49

We are, we are unfortunately. Save that for next week. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 59:57

Well, that went good. All my websites were down, and we found some Reddit stories. Absolutely. In another podcast.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:04

Well, folks, this has been another fabulous episode of Microphone Monkeys. Tune in every Thursday as we have a drop, and we're now having a special episode coming up on Fridays. So uh join us for more Microphone Monkeys.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:18

And uh say goodbye and the same.