Episode 13: Why You Can't Stop Eating That: The Truth About Trigger Foods

We all have certain foods that are just so hard to stop eating. In this episode of Midlife Musings, we share honestly about our own trigger foods and why certain foods seem to have a completely different hold on us than others. Because it's not that we don’t have willpower or self-control, there’s way more to it than that. And the sooner we stop treating it like a personal flaw, the sooner we can change the behavior. 

In this episode, we cover:

• Why certain foods are specifically designed to be hard to stop eating
• Our personal trigger foods and how we manage them
• The difference between restriction and strategy — and why one works, and one doesn't
• Practical things you can start doing to get a better handle on your trigger foods without swearing them off forever

If this one hit close to home, share it with a friend who needs to hear it, and leave a review if this one resonated. It means the world to us and helps other midlife women find us. 

And make sure you're following Midlife Musings so you never miss an episode. New episodes drop every Monday. 

Connect With Us:

@marcinevin

@eats_by_dre_nutrition

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Okay, well we've been talking for forty-five minutes, so we thought maybe we should start recording.

SPEAKER_01 0:05

That would be a good idea. We've been chatting away, just but and you know, I always say, Oh, you should hit record right now, like mid-conversation, because they can be really good conversations that I want people to hear, but this was all business talk that I'm sure no one cares about. No, but it was it was good catching up. Catching up, absolutely. Yes. Well, we are back again on a Sunday. We said that we were gonna start recording during the week, and that didn't happen, but it did not happen.

SPEAKER_00 0:34

My life just kind of took some wild turns. So I was like, sorry, yeah, we're not doing that because nope. Life was just doing life things, right?

SPEAKER_01 0:43

Yeah, and it was a really busy week for me as well, so I think it all worked out. We had more time and space on our calendar today, and it's a rainy Sunday in Northern California. I don't know what it's like in southern, but it has been pouring since Friday, so it's kind of the perfect day.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

It started raining in the middle of the night last night, so yeah, it's a cozy Sunday morning afternoon. Um 1.45. 145 in the afternoon, yeah. And it's not raining at this moment, but yeah, it's wet out there and I'm happy to be inside.

SPEAKER_01 1:18

Yes, I am. I I've got a dog walk to do at around three o'clock, so I'm hoping that the weather holds out for that. It stopped raining a little bit, but we shall see.

SPEAKER_00 1:28

You still have to do your walk if it's raining.

SPEAKER_01 1:31

Uh I I'll probably like go and at least let the dog out in the backyard and just kind of have it run around because this is actually an in-person training client of mine, and she's gone for about six hours, and so I hate to have the dog left in the crate for that long. So I know that he just needs to get some energy out. So it's supposed to the report says that there will be a break from around two to six. So finger.

unknown 1:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:57

Um, but even like it was raining so hard yesterday afternoon that the power went out. Oh, yeah. I know I was having coffee with a friend, and we were at this coffee shop, and all of a sudden, yeah, everything uh went out.

SPEAKER_00 2:10

So we stayed, but of course, it's crazy because like it was hot Friday. Yes, down here, and even yesterday was um actually yesterday was really beautiful weather. Um, and then now it's just cloudy and rainy. I'm like, okay, Southern California, can you just stick to one thing for a little bit?

SPEAKER_01 2:31

Well, Monday through Thursday was beautiful, and then Friday it started to rain Saturday, Sunday, and then it's supposed to be nice again starting next week, but cold, like in the 60s, which actually I don't mind. So that's great walking weather. It is great walking weather. I always say, like, I'm a 75 with a slight blurries type of girl, but I'll take the 60s, absolutely. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 2:50

60 to 80 is kind of my range. 80, I'm gonna start probably sweating a little bit, but it's I can still tolerate it. And once we get into the 80s, it's it's it's just hot to me. I'm I run hot. I don't run hot, but I just do not like being hot. Yeah, I'm not a um how do I want to say this? Like when I sweat, it's not like cute and girly. Like, I'm like sweaty. Makeup melting, like, yeah, no, it's not cute on me. Yeah, no, I get it. All right, well, what are we diving into today? All right, so last week we talked about emotional eating. Emotional eating, thank you. I was like, I know it was about eating because this is like tying in, but I couldn't exactly remember. Um, so we want to talk about like how do we handle trigger foods because I think we should be real clear, and I know you are a big fan of being honest. Like, yes, we all have trigger foods, even us as nutrition coaches, we don't eat perfectly. In fact, we were just talking about how I love to eat, and I think people think I don't, or I think when they see someone who has more how do I say this the right way, control over their eating, it makes it seem like they don't enjoy it, and like, no, no, I really like to eat.

SPEAKER_01 4:12

Well, we were talking for probably 20 minutes about food before we got started. We we absolutely were. All right, so talking about trigger foods, the first thing I do want to say about this is how powerful your language is. And that is something, you know, I know that we all use language like this, but we really do need to be more conscious of it because our words can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. So if you say, that's my trigger food, I'm addicted to this, I have no control over that, then go figure it is going to be harder to maintain self-control around those types of foods. So again, I understand that's just kind of how we're wired to speak in that way. But I think if you can start becoming more aware of the language you use around those foods or like how you speak about them, about your behavior, then it can be helpful in starting to you know shift that a little bit because we know that belief is one of the most important foundations of you being able to change your identity. So actually becoming someone who believes that, yes, I can exhibit self-control or willpower around something that you know has been challenging for me in the past.

SPEAKER_00 5:29

Absolutely. And that's I I love that you say that because I often, you know, walk work with clients to like one, uncover some of those messages that they're giving themselves. How are you talking to yourself? Because I mean, if you believe you can't control yourself around something, then you will absolutely not be able to control yourself. I mean, you're literally telling your brain, hey, this is this is who I am, this is what I do. And your brain's like, Great, okay, let's do that. So, I mean, how we talk to ourselves. I I saw some like, you know, quote that was like, you will talk to yourself the most. So what you tell yourself is a hundred percent so important. And I think probably our audiences are very similar in that they're very hard on themselves, very critical. So, you know, that inner critic, I know mine's like super, super loud, especially like I'm an Enneagram one. That's like a hallmark of uh an Enneagram one is you know, just this really loud inner critic, and I have to constantly question her and think, is that real? Is that true? And I mean, I just think I went through life just believing all these non-true things about myself, so yeah, like how you speak to yourself is immensely important.

SPEAKER_01 6:46

Yeah, and I mean I'm an enneagram nine, but wing one, so I've got a lot of it in me as well.

SPEAKER_00 6:53

Yeah, man, and sometimes she is just a royal bitch, my inner critic. Like, what are you doing, girl?

SPEAKER_01 6:59

Like you're you're so mean. Yeah, I feel like being a nine wing one is like the worse you can be because I'm super hyper villigent and then also addict myself as well. Again, I've definitely gotten better, but yeah, my standards for myself are very high.

SPEAKER_00 7:15

So and you you have this tendency to like not want to be confrontational, right? So, you know, that I think that bleeds into also your self-talk.

SPEAKER_01 7:26

Oh, yeah, absolutely. That's what I was saying, like hyper-vigilant, always scanning. Is someone mad at me? Am I upsetting someone? I don't want someone to be upset with me. So then I stuff down, not with food, uh, but you know, I don't really speak my truth. And then I end up being, you know, upset or resentful, whatever the case may be. It's funny because I finally, after like two months, got back to my journal speak journaling practice where I do express this stuff in a very honest way without saying it to the person's actual face, but I say it in the journal, and it is incredibly cathartic. And I'm like, oh, why have I been not doing this? Yeah, because it's uncomfortable, that's why. But yeah, it's it's tough to be that type for sure. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 8:16

And I I think going along with the idea of like how you speak to yourself is also how you talk about food, and I think that's very much intermingled, right? So, like, I think it's very common for people to want to classify food as good and bad, healthy, unhealthy. And I get it, I understand what we're trying to do, but again, like your language matters like so much. Like, if you say X, let's say donuts, because I just love donuts, are bad. How can I ever eat that in a neutral way? You can't. I won't, yeah, exactly. Like, so if you want, so again, I I think I just did a podcast, my public podcast, maybe two episodes ago, about how to like feel normal around food.

SPEAKER_01 9:01

And it's like, well, then you need to stop moralizing food if you say sugar is bad, unless you think you can completely eliminate that for the rest of your life, spoiler alert, you cannot, every time you eat it, there's just no way you're gonna feel good about that or neutral, even just which is really what I want people to have more of a neutral experience with food, because absolutely and and what I what I try and say is instead of saying this is good, this is bad, this is healthy, this is unhealthy, this is clean, this is not, whatever label you want to put on it is and and don't get me wrong, I mean, I labeled food that way for a very long time, up until I found flexible dieting. So now I say you either classify it, I don't even want to say label, classify it as more or less nutrient dense, more or less calorie dense. And even like healthy foods can be very calorie dense. So it's like it's good for what? A good food for what? Weight loss for overall health. You know, there's it's like semantics at the end of the day, but yeah, just something to be really mindful of. I'm curious because, you know, let's just come right out and say it. Uh, our conversation before we started to record was about food, and it was, I was about to say unhealthy food, bad food, fast food. So, what most people would label as unhealthy. And you were saying that a couple of days ago you went to Burr uh McDonald's and I asked you what you got, and you're like, oh, a quarter pounder worth fries, and it was just like no big thing. You weren't like, oh gosh, like I can't believe I get that, you know, like it's just no, it is what it is. And then I move the hell on. But I am curious. So, honesty hour here, do you ever have those thoughts that creep in when you eat something like that, or when you have the donut that I know you get, you know, fairly often, sure. Those thoughts creep in of like, oh, I shouldn't be doing this, or oh, like so, yes.

SPEAKER_00 10:57

I mean, because I'm human, I will be honest that yeah, I think even though I've done immense amounts of work around how I relate to food, I had a mentor who was like, You don't have a relationship with food. How could you have a relationship with an inanimate object? That's that's labeling like you need to kind of question that. Like, are you in a relationship with your donut? You're not. Let me just tell you right now. She's like, it's more about how you relate to food. How are you, you know, how how does your behavior change around food, right? So, um, yeah, I mean, as a human, I don't think I'll ever get to a place where I'm completely neutral around food. It is a constant conversation. Um, and that's just because I have a brain that's wired to eat that type of food. I'm never gonna like out psychology that to the point where I never struggle. Um, but it's less and less for sure. And I can talk myself back much easier. Um, I also know like I it's like only like the conversation's only happening with me. So like I can be honest with myself to be like, Andrea, you've been having too many donuts. Like, quit your shit. Like it, you know, this kick is going on a little too long, or like it's starting to impede, like you're starting to have more cravings for it, right? And like that's just navigating being a human in a really mismatched world where your brain wants you to overeat because it thinks food scarcity is a thing, yet you live in this obesogenic environment where food is very easily overconsumed, it's high in calorie, it's pushing you towards obesity, and like there's that tension that's always gonna be there. So, yeah, I think people often will say, Well, that sounds hard, you know, to constantly kind of be like monitoring, but so is just allowing yourself to go with your intuition and eat whatever you want because you're gonna end up unhealthy, probably unhappy with your weight, body composition. So, like, it's that whole like, well, choose your hard. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 13:01

No, I agree completely, and I will say, you know, coming from where I had been in my, I would say early 20s, and that was the height of the clean eating era. And so I was reading Oxygen magazine, and this woman, Toscarino, yes, I had her book. Clean eating, it was the name of the book. Yes, right, that shit was drilled into my head. So no wonder why I had those thoughts. But again, once I found flexible dieting and realized all foods can fit, then that really helped to remodel, I guess, my not even relationship with food, but for lack of a better word. Um, and so that was really beneficial. But then I was just going down the rabbit hole of the paleo movement. And I started the paleo diet. I was on something called autoimmune paleo because I was trying to manage my autoimmune disease without medication. And you it's paleo on steroids, right? So very restrictive, very restrictive. And basically, I was eating protein, so meat, protein, not even eggs, that was off limits. Dairy was off limits, so meat and um fruit, vegetables, slosh. Like that was pretty much it. Coconut oil, that was the extent of my diet. Um, and again, it wasn't because oh, those foods are gonna make me fat, it was those foods are gonna trigger my autoimmune disease, and I never want to go back to the place that I was when I first had that psoriasis outbreak. Oh, go figure my second worst psoriasis flair was when I was on the autoimmune paleo. Of course it was. Ain't that about a bitch? So, but I I think now you were talking and I was starting to think about it for myself. Like, do I have those thoughts ever? And I really don't. And I think it's because I eat those foods so minimally. And if it was a regular part of my diet, I was eating fast food multiple times per week, I was eating highly processed foods every day, then yes, there probably would be a little bit more of that food noise, so to speak, like, ooh, this isn't really healthy. Because we do know at the end of the day, there are some foods that are healthier for you and foods that are, you know, unhealthy, right? Um, and yeah, so I think it's because the more unhealthy ones, even if they are not super calorie dense, I would never allow myself to eat those on a regular basis. So that thought doesn't even cross my mind because I know if I'm doing it so infrequently, it's really not gonna have any consequence. But I no longer think of it through the lens of is this food in isolation going to make me gain weight? Where that's how it was, you know, back when I was kind of at the height of my disordered eating and like really body image focused. I did get into the weeds also. So it's like I stopped following the autoimmune paleo diet. I still follow pretty much paleo because like I'm gluten and dairy free, but my repertoire of food, like the list is much longer at this point, which is really freeing. So I have a lot more flexibility. But then when I was dealing with some of my other health issues a couple of years ago, I was getting in the weeds about the blood sugar issue, which we talked about, and like neurotically tracking my blood sugar. And I still am in that headspace because like I want to keep it under control. So there are these times like, oh no, is this food going to spike my blood sugar? So that can be a little tricky for sure.

SPEAKER_00 16:50

Yeah. I think too, like you had said you asked me what we were talking about eating out because I was with my niece that whole day, and yeah, it wasn't a problem because like to me, it was one of these moments of like I was spending the whole day with her. I was watching her because the family was out and about and she couldn't go, so it was a long day, and I was like, you know what? I never get one-on-one time, you know, with one kid, and it was the end of the day, and I was like, okay, we're gonna go to McDonald's, and it's gonna, we're gonna play, and we're gonna have fries and nuggets and burgers, and like that was just a moment of like I wasn't going to McDonald's because I had a craving for McDonald's. It was like, I know she, of course, you know, all kids love fries and McDonald's and all that good stuff, and it was just like a moment to bond with her, and like obviously we do not do that hardly ever. And so it was just like this is fun, and I hope I don't, I don't know that she'll ever remember. She's barely gonna be two, but it was just a moment where we had fun. She was so excited. I will like have this burned image of her like running around like fries and nuggies, fries and nuggies is so cute, and we had so much fun. We ate there, we played, and this is where like food has so many different roles. Like at that moment, it wasn't about like eating bad or like it was just a moment to bond with my niece. And I don't I hope I'll have more moments like that, but like that was what it was more about, and we had fun, and yeah, like there's just a nuance that I think people don't want to have to deal with, and yeah, that's where like if food was just fuel, this would be so much easier, right? We would all just eat what we should eat, but that's not all that it is, and so it's messy.

SPEAKER_01 18:40

It's it's it's culture, it's connection, it's celebration, it's nostalgia. And speaking to your point, my most vivid memories from especially when I was a child, and you and I have both spoken, it was on one of the previous podcasts where we don't have a lot of very vivid child memories. No, ones that I do have all revolve around food. Yeah, whether it was with my dad, my mom, my grandmother, you know, friends. Like I can name probably 20 examples right now of burned in my brain memories that revolved around food. Absolutely. Yeah, and I was in those foods way more often and without even thought, because it it's interesting, right? This is so crazy to me. So in our house, my mom would not allow me to eat sugared cereal, white bread, or sugary gum. But I could drink Capri Sun, I could drink Coca-Cola, uh, we could go out and have fast food, like without even blinking an eye. So I'm like, where's the disconnect here? But I was eating, you know, that I was eating fast food. I mean, probably like maybe not once a week, but often enough, you know, and and snacky type food that yeah, now like I would never allow myself to have that on a regular basis. But I just didn't know the consequences back then.

SPEAKER_00 20:07

Yeah, you know, so it's so crazy that you brought up that book. I think it was my last podcast where I talked about basically I was like, stop eating healthy to lose weight, it's not helping you, you know. It because it's this whole thing that, yeah, it was like 15 years ago, and I couldn't remember the name of the book. I was like, I had a whole book that was like on clean eating, and it was what was her name again? It started the T. Oscarino. Yes. Um, and that was like my Bible. I was just like, okay, and I like followed the rules, and I get it, especially for a type A. We like really clear guidelines, we like black and white, it feels safe, but it just drives a lot of neuroses, as you mentioned, and there's a layer of truth in that because yeah, I mean, I like to think of food on a spectrum of like nutritious and non-nutritious. I know that's territory of like good or bad, but it's not. It's just like some food is just gonna provide more nutrients and others are not, and those foods you're likely getting something else out of it, like enjoyment or connection or culture or whatnot. And that's fine. Like that is how we use food. So I I I would love to simplify this to just eat these foods, but it doesn't work in reality, which I mean I know you probably experienced. Like when I tried to do that, it just created neuroses. I mean, I I did paleo, I was vegan, I was vegetarian, I did whole 30. I did a whole 30, and then because I didn't get the results I wanted, I did a whole 90. That's not even a thing. I just was like, well, longer would be better, right?

SPEAKER_01 21:41

I I had no idea. I also didn't know that you were a vegan. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 21:45

I was a vegetarian for a year, and then I went harder and went vegan, but that didn't last very long because it's really like what do you eat? I was starving. I I just there wasn't enough to eat.

SPEAKER_01 21:56

Yeah, yeah. I mean, the only way that I could see myself being A vegan is if I just ate tofu.

SPEAKER_00 22:04

Yeah, and that's just not very filling. I like tofu, but I don't know. I'm like, I always prior to any kind of dieting I did or diets, I would always tell people, Oh, I'm a meat and potatoes kind of girl. I I'm not a salad girl like in my 20s. No, I want meat and I want potatoes. Like I want a filling, satisfying meal. Like I like to eat and eat a lot. Like, not overly. It's just like I'm not the dainty girl that's like, oh, just give me a salad and a side. No, I want.

SPEAKER_01 22:36

I mean, I I will like I like salads, but I do often I do often eat a salad when I go out to eat. But again, because I'm gluten-free, like I can't have a burger, and there's just like a lot of options that aren't available to me because of my food restrictions and that. And again, it's not because like, oh, I'm afraid that these foods are gonna make me gain weight. It's more again for like my managing my own health purpose or issues. Um, but yes, that's just kind of how the cookie crumbles, pun intended. But I I enjoy them. Like I love a good cob salad, but I mean, talk about something that is incredibly calorie dense. Candy, yeah. Eggs and cheese and bacon and yeah, yeah. So anyway, well, we were talking about trigger foods, that was the topic and how we handled those. Again, we don't love that word, but the foods that we have a more difficult time controlling ourselves around. And it's interesting because you had mentioned trigger foods on last week's episode, and I was like, Oh, I didn't even know you had them. So what are the works?

SPEAKER_00 23:40

Oh god, okay. So off the battery start for sure. Um, candy corn. Oh, I no way. Are you a candy corn lover? Yes, girl, this is why we're friends.

SPEAKER_01 23:56

We well, we relate on so many things. I didn't know I didn't know the candy corn. I did know the cake donut with the sprinkles and the but I did not know the candy corn. And I'm actually more the candy pumpkin type.

SPEAKER_00 24:10

To me, they're the same. I'll eat either one. Well, they're not the same. They are.

SPEAKER_01 24:14

Look at the ingredients. No, from an ingredient perspective, not from a uh not even mouthfeel. I like the pumpkins because they're more dense.

SPEAKER_00 24:25

Yes, I will say, like if I had a choice, I had like the pumpkins because you're right, you just get more volume in a bite or whatever. Yes. Um, but yeah, I always say every Halloween, I talk about it on stories because it is a trigger food for me. Um, that thank God it only comes around once a year. If it was available all the time, oh dear God. I mean uh yeah, so like I try every year to moderate it and it's a messy process every year. I'm getting a little bit better, but I think honestly, for whatever reason, and I don't know, I've said this publicly, I don't know why it's such a trigger for me in terms of like I lose control really easily. I have no idea why. I mean, is it purely because it's just like pure sugar? So it just lights up my brain, like no other, I don't know, or like it that it is um seasonal, so like I know it will go away at some point. So maybe I fixate a little more on it, but like damn, every year it's just like and it seems like it's coming out earlier and early. I'm like, no, like do not come out.

SPEAKER_01 25:32

I saw it in August. Yes, like no, no, no. I'm curious because yeah, I love the Halloween candy corn, but have you had the kite that comes out for Easter? I don't know, it's different, it does not taste the same at all. It almost tastes like waxy, it's just yeah, it's not the same. So I love the pumpkins and talking about memories that are burned into your brain, I remember in college, I was in the sorority, and I don't know why I had the candy candy pumpkins in my room, but we were doing so. I didn't have like the actual bag, I had a paper bag with a certain amount of the candy pumpkins in there. All right, and I got up in the middle of the night and I ate the entire bag. All right, yeah, that's a trigger food. And I'm like, I it was just it was almost like this out of body experience of what the hell are you doing? But again, that was the time, that was the height of my disordered eating. Yeah, and so I think it was like I gotta get these out of the room, I have to eat them all now because I don't want them around. Think that that had something to do with it, but it was wild, so yeah, candy corn's certainly one of mine as well for sure.

SPEAKER_00 26:48

Ice cream, that's another one I really love ice cream. Thank god, like I got a creamy um about a year ago, and uh that has been a game changer because it allows me to have like the it feels like I'm having ice cream. I know it's not the same, but like I I have it so often now that my palate has changed to um expect ice cream to taste like that. Like basically the creamies I make are just almond milk, some protein powder, and a little cocoa powder, and that's it. There's no added sugar. Um, so it's it's tasty, but not like over the top, like the way like a candy corn is, or even just regular ice cream, which is loaded with sugar fat carbs, which we know that like combo is super deadly with your brain. So like I feel like the creamy I make is not very triggering, but it certainly fills that void of like wanting a little dessert after dinner, and like half a pint for the recipe I put together is like 200 calories, and that includes two Oreos crushed in it, like and it's gonna say 20 grams of protein too. So I'm like so. You do add the mix-ins.

SPEAKER_01 28:02

I only yeah, two Oreos, that's it. That's all I I've never had a creamy, so I am gonna have to come down and visit you, and you'll have to make me one. I am down to know what the hype is all about. I love frozen yogurt, that probably would be a trigger for me as well. And now Ninja has a frozen yogurt shop serve maker. I'm like, oh brother, I saw that and I was really tempted, but I'm like, I need another kitchen appliance, like I need a freaking in my head, I have nowhere to store this thing, so it wasn't really an option.

SPEAKER_00 28:35

But yeah, I don't really have room for the creamy either, but I was like, I don't care, I think it's just gonna be a good investment, and it has like I think it's again been a game changer because I do have a sweet tooth, and I don't know that I'll ever like not have one. I'm sure I I feel like I regulated it fairly well, but this helps a lot because it feels like a treat, but it's it's got a good amount of protein, it's very low sugar. Like I said, it's just almond milk and protein powder. Um and it just feeds that little need for a treat, and it's super tasty. And I feel like it actually has reduced my cravings for ice cream because it's not so triggering. Like I can walk away from the creamy. Whereas, like, if you gave me a pint of Ben and Jerry's, it would be it's hard for me to stop unless I dole it out and then put away. Yeah, the creamy does not like capture me like that, yet I still enjoy the taste.

SPEAKER_01 29:30

So I'm definitely not one of those people who can like have a couple of bites and be like, I'm satisfied. It it really does take again, people will look at me and they say, You have such strong willpower or such self-control. And one of the reasons is because I don't bring that shit into my house. And although I would say, you know, trigger food, almond butter, any type of nut butter, um, coconut butter is probably the worst for me. And I have been known back in the day to go through like how I'll say to myself, Oh, I'm only gonna have a spoonful, and then next thing you know, half the jar is gone. So, yeah, that's definitely happened. And now I have almond butter, tahini, sunflower butter, whatever it is, in my refrigerator at all times. And I really do not have an issue um overeating it. The only time that I did was oh, maybe like six months ago. I was going through a really weird kind of like emotional experience with a business coach. Like it was just anyway, it was this really messy situation that a bunch of other people were involved in, and I felt very emotionally dysregulated for a couple of weeks, and I noticed myself like scooping out and like putting on the sp the scale how much I was going to allow myself or like that fit into my macros for that meal, and then you know, continuing to have a little bit more, and that's when I realized I was like, nope, I'm gonna not buy this anymore until I am through the situation. And now that that's like you know, way behind me, I feel like I can trust myself more. But um yeah, so I guess that maybe I do have really good willpower and self-control, but it takes a lot mentally. I really have to kind of like talk myself off the proverbial ledge for sure.

SPEAKER_00 31:20

It's interesting. I just recently had an experience where I had bought like a big tub of nuts, like just it was like deluxe nuts, so it was like pecans and walnuts and almonds and peanuts, and um, and they were salted, roasted and salted, delicious. The way I just went through that tub so quickly because they're so delicious, versus when I have like bought usually I will buy them raw, so like not roasted and not salted, and I was like, okay, just that change completely changed my experience with it to the point where it was so hard, and I was like, Well, I cannot buy that again because that was like a constant going back to the cupboard, like there's a little more, just a little more. And like it's a testament, I think, to what processing can do to your brain. That like a walnut in its raw state, it has a very different impact on me than a roasted and salted, you know, one where I'm just like, give me all of the nuts.

SPEAKER_01 32:23

What's so crazy about that is I can't even eat raw almonds. Like I just do not enjoy them whatsoever. But to your point, if they are roasted, even if they're not salted, just the roasting itself does something else to it. But yeah, nuts are very, very difficult for me to control myself around as well. And I used to not like, I actually used to not like almonds or walnuts, and now I love both of them. So I can have raw walnuts and those will be hard for me to or control myself around. Pecans, I love, and freasing this is I I love things frozen. I love frozen fruits. I like I'll eat frozen vegetables, like I eat frozen green beans. It's like the most bizarre thing. Uh if you've ever put your nuts in the freezer, like that does something to it too. I don't know what it is. Um, more so like pecans and almonds, or excuse me, pecans and walnuts. Um in a good way, like it makes them more enjoyable. Yeah, for some reason it makes it more enjoyable. I don't know what it is, but yeah, it's like the roasting, the salting that just takes it to like the hyper palatability to another level. Um, but the and then macadamia nuts, those are probably the worst for me.

SPEAKER_00 33:32

Uh uh.

SPEAKER_01 33:32

Those are not my so I don't really love those, but and then the other food, and this is more recent, I would say in the past couple of years. Have you ever had those popcorners? Possibly. So they're they're trying, so they're like a very, very thin rice cake, but they're like in chip form and they're very thin.

SPEAKER_00 33:53

I've seen them, I have not had them.

SPEAKER_01 33:55

Okay, they are so good and they have different flavors, like you know, white cheddar, kettle corn. I prefer the original, like that's the plain version. And I saw Jordan Syat speaking out about this maybe a year ago, and he was like, These things are so dangerous because of the mouthfeel. So they're engineered in a way where they literally melt in your mouth, and so it's just it's so easy to keep eating them and be you it you don't get full. Because, like, you know, rice cakes, right? It's like basically air, and these are very much the same, but it's just like it's different, and like the way that yeah, the way they act in your mouth, it just makes them so easy to overeat. So there are stuff that I just don't buy, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:35

I and I think too, like, I think I did a long time ago post where I was like, if you're having trouble, it's likely this aisle, and it was just me videoing the snack aisle. Like, this stuff is just meant to be overconsumed, consumed mindlessly. It's been engineered, yeah, with mouthfeel, with crunch, a combo of like the fat, the salt, the sugar. Like, it's just hitting you from all kinds of angles. And I am like, you guys, they openly tell you you can't just have one. Like, once you pop, you can't stop. Like, this is and I'm not here to demonize big food manufacturers. They're obviously meant to make money, so they're gonna create a product that creates a lifelong customer, keeps you coming back, of course. So, like, we just have to be more vigilant, aware, yeah, like that we're we are being manipulated. Um, certainly you have your choice, and like I know so many well-respected people in our industry who are like, yeah, we try to pass regulation of like take it off the shelf or tax it, and people get mad. People want the choice to have those foods, so like the people have spoken. So now it leaves you with fine, manufacturers can continue to make this food, but now you have to learn how to navigate it. And that's where it's like, you can't have both. Like, if you want the ability or freedom to choose those foods, then you have to learn how to navigate how that's gonna work out for you, you know, how you're going to handle those foods, which yeah, for the most part, I keep stuff out of my house. I so I have a sweet tooth. I will sometimes buy candy, but I'll leave it in my car. And it's in my like that middle, I don't know what you call it, compartment. Because I won't won't see it, and it will be obviously out of the house. It's in the garage, so that's like an extra, I'm not gonna go outside to get candy. And a lot of times I'll have like a little, it'll be like the mini size, let's say Skittles. And I'll have like a little pack on the way to the gym, like, oh, this is my pre-workout, you know, and like I mean, honestly, it's acts the same. Sometimes I've had Gatorade, like, why can't it be Skittles? It can. So it's like a way to put it, it's a it's a fine line, right? Like, I I'm not trying to say that's the only utility for candy, but it's just a way that works for me that doesn't put me in a position of like struggling, and it feels a little productive at least, and I can enjoy it, you know. And again, then it's like out of sight, out of mind. Like I I never remember the candy is there, and every once I'm like, oh, I have some stars.

SPEAKER_01 37:11

And I think that is one of the best examples. If you because let's be honest, I mean, I'm single, I live alone because I can much more control what comes in and out of my house. But now that I've been doing all of this house sitting, I'm in other people's home. Yeah. So it's it's tough. So I was uh at a new house, not a new house, but somewhere that I've been many times before. But so last time we recorded, I was at one house, and then Monday through Friday I was at another, and they've got four kids and they eat very healthy, but there were still a lot of those like healthy, unhealthy foods, right? So oh, chocolate, like the Lily's chocolate chips, and she had white chocolate chips. White chocolate is my absolute favorite. Uh, it was in the freezer. Oh man, frozen chocolate chips, gosh. So, like it, I really did have to practice restraint. Like, no, you do not need that right now. And in the cabinets or in like the the pantry, the cupboards, all that, it was oh yeah, chips, tons of nuts, nut butters, like you name it, it was there. And it was nice because it wasn't out on the counter. Like I knew that it was there, but it was still inconvenient enough and out of sight enough where I wasn't really thinking about it. And I do bring most of my own food with me whenever I go places. So I don't get overly hungry. I'm eating the meals that I enjoy. So I'm like less tempted by that stuff. And I talked about this on my stories as well. It's like, you know, I have to be very purposeful and intentional because if not, then I am gonna go to somewhere else's or someone else's house and stay there. And if it's a weak moment, I'm too hungry, I don't have my own food, then I'm left to eat what is available, and that's not gonna be good. So yeah, I just had to bring or put what I brought front and center, yeah, or store the stuff that didn't go in the refrigerator at eye level in a cabinet where it wasn't with all the other hyper palatable stuff.

unknown 39:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:16

I if you know me in my actual day-to-day, you know I always have a bag of food with me.

SPEAKER_01 39:22

Like that is a I did not know this about you.

SPEAKER_00 39:25

Hallmark of me. I mean, when I sub, I'm bringing all my food. I don't, I don't go. I mean, and there was certainly a time in the beginning of my career of teaching. I I'm just horrified. I would just go to work without anything and just be like, I don't know, I'll figure it out, you know. And that just meant I was absolutely eating out all the time or eating cafeteria food, which that's that's a whole other episode about food for our kids. Um, yeah, and like now it's like I can't, I will be late before I go, let's say, subbing without my food because I know I'm gonna get hungry, I know there's sugar foods everywhere, and I want to be able to control and it's not that I I just want my food that I know makes me feel good, that's gonna keep me satiated and not have me starving. Also, it's really hard to like work when you're feeling lethargic because you haven't eaten and or when I go to my sister's and I'm gonna watch the kids, like we all know Andrea's gonna come with a bag of food. Uh because yeah, like a a household full of kids, like yeah, they eat healthy too. But of course the kids have all these little snacky foods too that are you know, they're fine, but like I find them super delicious and I want to overeat them. Um, and I don't know like if it's like I'm super active there or what, but like I'm always extra hungry. So yeah, like I bring lots of fruit to snack on, you know, deli meat, my protein oatmeal, like and it's always a joke of like, what did I leave behind because I bring so much?

SPEAKER_01 40:51

No, but you gotta come prepared, especially like if you know that you have a tendency to overeat in situations where there are those I'm gonna say hyper palatable foods, not triggered foods, available, then yeah, you gotta do what you gotta do. Uh absolutely. So I think that is one good suggestion is to if those if you do have to bring those foods in the house because you have kids or your partner wants them, or even it's because you want to bring them in the house, because there are times that you want to enjoy them in moderation, then put them somewhere where you cannot see them. They are not in your direct line of vision. You know, maybe you even have to go as far as putting them in like you were saying in the car, but like in the garage, I say in an opaque container up on a higher shelf or behind other things. That way, yeah, you can't see it. Um, so that can help. And then I would also say not to eat these foods in isolation. So when I say, well, this could go two ways in isolation, like by yourself. Sometimes just like the knowing that someone else is there, like you kind of want to be on better behavior. It can go either way. Like, I'm probably not gonna house an entire bottle bag of chips in front of somebody else. Right. Um now I know that there are a lot of people who connect in that way, so maybe you don't care. Um, but I told the story a while back, I think on this podcast where, and I'll never forget this. I was when I was married to my ex-husband, we were over at my house, and he was watching football in the family room, and our their family room basically attaches to the kitchen. It's like one big open room, and I was in the pantry, kind of like sneak eating. And he walked by to go to the bathroom, he's like, Oh, there you are, like sneak eating again or like secret eating. I was like, No, I'm not. He's like, Yeah, you do you do it all the time. But like, I didn't want someone, especially like my boyfriend or whoever he was, like fiance, husband, I don't know who he was at that point, like seeing me like eat in that way, you know, like eat because he was someone who like really did not snack. He kind of like just ate at mealtimes. And I was embarrassed almost that like I felt like I liked food more than he did. Like, you're the man, you should want food more than me. But so anyway, um, but yeah, maybe you don't eat it in isolation, you're eating it around other people, um, in a social setting, like that could help somewhat. And then don't eat it in isolation. More so what I meant by that is have it with something else. So you're not just eating it out of the bag because it's gonna be so much harder to control yourself. One, it's not gonna fill you up as much. So if you're having it as part of a meal, like at the end of a meal, and you've already had your protein, your fiber, your high-volume foods, then yeah, the likelihood of you overeating the hyperpalatable ones will be less.

SPEAKER_00 43:40

Yeah. I often like it's it's funny. I had um like a live call with my clients, and one of them asked me, Hey, like when you have donuts, because I'm pretty um transparent about the fact that I have those. I I mean, when I say regularly, it means like a couple times a month. It doesn't mean every day or every Saturday, like maybe two. twice a month. I don't know. Anyways, she was like, How do you how do you incorporate that? Like, how do you make that fit? You know, and I was like, oh, that's a great question. So like, yeah, to your point, I will still have a regular breakfast. Um, and it will be after breakfast that I will have it because I want to eat it when I'm mostly full so that I'm actually eating it to like enjoy it, but like I won't be basically triggered to eat more. I should be full after that having high break high protein, high fiber. And then I enjoy the the donut with my coffee and it just like you know it's a great end to my breakfast and then we move on and I'm not like insane. It also helps with blood sugar control obviously to not just get this huge hit. Not that I want people to get down these rabbit holes of like having to control every spike but yeah there's some truth to not having your blood sugar all over the place.

SPEAKER_01 44:57

But and I think it's less about the spike and it's more about the crash.

SPEAKER_00 45:02

Yeah because that's where you're gonna like want more to like bring you back up right.

SPEAKER_01 45:06

Exactly. And that's where it becomes this like vicious cycle or like the roller coaster.

SPEAKER_00 45:10

Yeah. I will say too I think in terms of like trigger foods like sometimes it's just an environment thing. Like we had candy out here for a long time and it I could tell I it would catch my eye on the table all the time and then it would immediately trigger a thought of like do I want that right now? Do I want it later? You know and I'm like it's just literally because I see it. So like can we just put that away because like I don't even really want it but I have this conversation every time I see it like is this the day? Do I want those peanut MMs? Like do I want them for dessert and like I don't even want it. It's just because I saw it. So there's that like where it's purely just your environment which I say take as much control as you can. Obviously not everybody can you know 100% control their environments.

SPEAKER_01 45:56

But the other piece I think is just learning how to regulate yourself because I do too you're bored you want to eat you're sad you want to eat you're happy you want to celebrate you're it's 9 p.m and you're like in between I'm sort of hungry you know so it's like learning how to sit with these uncomfortable feelings which I think we've had this conversation of like our generation is learning how to regulate and learning how to like sit with discomfort and naming that and that's a whole journey and I think that's a huge piece of trigger foods is it's likely something else that you need to deal with and absolutely yeah yeah and you know I was working in an office two days a week until fairly recently and there were two bowls of candy like in plain sight of my desk at all times and I was the one who was responsible for filling them. So one bowl was jelly beans which I don't even like so that wasn't an issue and then the other was like that fun size like the quintessential Halloween candy. So the Snickers the MMs um the Milky Ways but then they also had the almond joy which are my favorite and I could probably count on one hand in the year and a half that I worked there the number of times that like I actually had a piece of candy because one, I bring my own food when I'm there and like usually my own drinks as well. So maybe it was like one of my like caffeine beverages or my electrolytes and even like just having that sweet drink was enough. And then I knew okay like I always came to work after having just eaten so I was full and then I would have another meal like three hours after I got there. And in between I would drink stuff. So it's like I wasn't as triggered by the candy or I wasn't as tempted by the candy. But there were definitely times because I fucking hated being at that place where like maybe I did get a little bored or emotionally dysregulated and the candy was there. I'm like oh that would that sounds really good right now. But that's when I would ask myself like do you really need that? Do you really want it? No, it's not even that good. Like let's be honest I'd much rather spend my calories on something else. Yeah so it it's that self-talk and this can also be very helpful is setting the timer or just like practicing the pause and saying all right like I have the awareness that for whatever reason I want this candy right now or whatever food it may be and then just say I'm gonna walk away I'm gonna go do something else and if 10 20 minutes I still want it then I can have it full permission.

SPEAKER_00 48:34

I like the like is it a hell yeah or or not like because a lot of times I think I want something and then I ask myself is this like a hell yeah and I'm like not really so then I'm like yeah and like you I'm like I'd actually just rather spend my calories somewhere else like if I'd rather have ice cream or you know I don't know like I'll make that work rather than just this random candy because it's you know like these MM peanuts I was just like it's never a hell yeah for those like they're just not that good let's be honest. Yeah I mean I like them if you made me eat them I'd enjoy that but like I'm never gonna be like oh my god these are amazing now candy corn that this is where it's a slipper slip that's always a hell yeah except when it comes down to like well but does that really fit in my budget and like do I really need more right now like so this is again where I feel like people kind of get a little overwhelmed like it seems like a lot of work and I'm like yeah but that's because you are navigating a pretty complicated environment plus like your own mental like that that piece that you're bringing to the table like are you tired? Are you stressed out? Are you going through something right now? Is it just an environment thing?

SPEAKER_01 49:43

Like it is a lot I kind of have to I think just checking in with yourself like like like with everything it always starts with checking in with yourself like why am I having this urge? Like do I really want it or is it something else that I'm trying to fill a void for and then you can make a better decision. But I also don't want someone that like get to the point where like they can never bring these foods into the house because that's kind of a band-aid as well. So I think that you can start by practicing small and putting yourself into situations where you are only having that trigger food or the food that you feel like you have a hard time stopping at just like a few bites or whatever outside of the home. So maybe you go to the gas station and for me like they sell popcorners at the gas station. Okay, get a single serving size or you know whatever the case may be and then you eat those and you realize like it's gone I can't get any more.

SPEAKER_00 50:39

Right.

SPEAKER_01 50:40

So it builds that self-trust that I can be done with it and sit with that discomfort of wanting more and it's not going to kill me. I'm gonna move on and I'm gonna be okay.

SPEAKER_02 50:53

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 50:53

That's the hard part right is and I think you're you're right in that you just have to give yourself I don't want to say permission but accept that there will be disappointment. You know and like some foods are going to have a higher amount of disappointment like my candy corn versus like the MMs I could probably eat a handful and be done with it and walk away and not think about it anymore versus like candy corn where it's just gonna be like oh my God I want to eat this whole bag right now. So like yes like learning how to just be like I want more oh well like that is where we're at and that's not an emergency I'm not gonna die I think you told me last week like emotions only last like 90 seconds right and I did a little research and yeah it's like that's actually how long the emotion takes to like move through your body and so like if you're continuing to feel these emotions it's because you're ruminating you're you're keeping that emotion alive but it really only like physically moves through your body for 90 seconds. Yep. So yeah it's like okay it's gonna pass and it might be disappointing but yeah you're gonna be okay.

SPEAKER_01 52:07

You you will live we all live and the more you do it the more you're able to practice that and not go back to that old behavior the more I guess resilience you bring you build but also self-trust and that is a superpower in my experience. So yeah this takes time it takes practice patience and kindness with yourself you're never going to get it right the first time that is okay especially these hardwired patterns which we were talking about last week like they are they're rooted and it will yeah it'll take time that's just part of the process so go easy on yourself but allow yourself to be in situations where you are not trying to restrict because that is not telling you anything or that's not teaching you anything.

SPEAKER_00 52:53

No. I think you hit it on the the head there like I think at the beginning it might be helpful to remove trigger foods to just start the process of figuring out your triggers and then why and then starting to experiment with like okay can I handle you know a portion pack you know like do like a hundred calorie pack of popcorn or nuts or whatever and learning to sit with that disappointment when you know the package is done and then watching your own behavior like knowing it's in the house versus like okay and I that's just yeah a skill and I think also there's just going to be foods that may never you know be well tolerated by you or moderated um and I think that's the last piece is like I don't think you're any of us ever get to perfect moderation.

SPEAKER_01 53:40

It's always going to be a little sticky and messy and you know sometimes you may still eat the whole bag of chips like hi you're a human you know and sometimes you learn how to moderate yeah and all you can do is just you know have self-compassion for yourself and be willing to try again don't beat yourself up don't say like I'm a failure I'm never gonna get this this is always gonna be how it is that's simply not true. Like you can always change your behavior but yeah there are steps. So one talking about yourself in a more positive helpful way. So that is and maybe you don't get to the point you're like I am always in control of the food that I eat like I never it's like I am working to become someone who can stay in control around these foods. And then the more you tell yourself that and you back it up with the practice and the evidence like okay I was able to do it. Look at that I am reinforcing what I am telling myself then it will get easier and easier.

SPEAKER_00 54:40

So I also want to say you can create you know more I guess sturdiness within yourself by just putting a few things in place like I really love having clients create an eating schedule it doesn't mean they have to eat at these times but to like look at their schedule and realistically when can you have breakfast and lunch and dinner and do we want a snack and where's that going to go?

SPEAKER_01 55:02

And then sticking to that because your body just really loves routine and we know I'm sure you're gonna back me up on this that most women really don't eat a lot in the morning and part of that is being rushed and busy in the morning times but also I think there's this idea of like I'm just gonna skip breakfast to save calories most of us have like light lunches and then of course the afternoon comes around you're like starving plus it's a natural dip in your energy and that's you know why are you overeating at night well what did you eat I had 500 calories up until 6 p.m ding ding you know like so having a very routine schedule doesn't mean you know you have to be like to the to the tea but certainly putting yourself on a schedule with that and then also evening out like your meals like it just the moment I can have like someone get a substantial breakfast lunch and dinner all of a sudden they're like oh like a lot of my triggers went away and like yeah because you were just hungry it makes all the difference you nailed it absolutely and I try to instill that in my clients as well breakfast is my biggest meal of the day it's also when I look the most forward to it's also the one that I am the most disappointed when it's done. But yeah it really does set me up for success. And then every three to four hours on a consistent schedule I'm eating and rarely do I overeat rarely do I have those cravings it's just like your body thrives off of consistency. It really does. So just from like a hunger predictability standpoint like now you know I'm gonna be getting hungry around these times so I can be more prepared and then also because blood sugar is going to be more well managed as well and hunger.

SPEAKER_00 56:46

So you you brought up a good point of like self-trust and I think building a situation where self-trust is more easily going to happen is helpful. Instead of like throwing yourself into the deep end of like I'm gonna go shopping starving and then go down the snack aisle. That's dumb. Yeah. Right. But like if you can set yourself up with a routine eating schedule eating you know satisfying meals having enough protein and fiber coming in then it allows you to create that self-trust because you don't find yourself at the end of the day binging you know ice cream or chips or whatever it is or you know just going overboard because you've set yourself up actually to be more successful and then that yeah that self-trust is like oh I did do it I was able to moderate that or if I sort of indulge I can come back easily because you know I can just go back to my regular schedule right so one last thing before we wrap up um because I've only got a few minutes but and you can speak to this better than I can I just had clients who struggle uh who are teachers and the break room can be an absolute mindfield right because and I mean I would say like the break room whether it's a teacher you're a nurse I mean really anywhere but I find it to be like in a school setting to be like the most consistent I guess.

SPEAKER_01 58:12

So I was working with this client a while back and that was her downfall. She really enjoyed having that time with her coworkers. So she didn't want to avoid the break room but every time she went in there all bets were off and she had a hard time controlling herself. So it was like if you feel like you don't want to avoid it I don't want you to like that social connection is very important. But if you don't trust yourself around the foods that are there can you bring something of your own that you enjoy that is going to give you the same benefit but without the temptation.

SPEAKER_00 58:47

Yeah. Oh gosh that was like the biggest thing and the best thing I did was because if you're a teacher you have your own classroom um is I bought a mini fridge and microwave so that I could bring my own food and control my own food because it was a guarantee at some point during the week there was going to be donuts in my my favorite um or just treats in general. I mean one school I was at my first school it I remember when I started the first Friday of the month I think was like um Goody table day. So every month one grade level would provide the goodies. So that was once a month by the time I left there nine years later to transfer it was every Friday.

SPEAKER_02 59:33

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 59:34

I was like you guys I know like and I wasn't heavily into nutrition quite yet but I was moving that direction and I was just like I just how did we go from once a month to every Friday and so it was just like I can't like be in here every Friday you know because I'm gonna see it and so it was just like okay I have to take control where I can it still means I have to navigate that lounge because yeah I don't want to avoid it but I certainly was conscious like okay I'm gonna eat before I go into the lounge or have something to be eating already drinking um and you just have to be super proactive when your work environment is like that. I mean I know I have a client who she was like I just can't stop eating these candies at work and I was like okay well where are they and she's looking there in a jar on my desk and I was like girl get rid of that like put it away put it at least in like a drawer where you can't see it's because you're seeing it right like forget about it. So sometimes we make it harder for ourselves or we don't realize you know how triggered we are just by seeing or being in the presence of so absolutely yeah well I think this is really helpful some tangible takeaways that people can start applying ASAP. Yes and you know it's it's a journey it's something you'll probably always have to refine. That's just part of I think the human experience at this time in life where you know your your environment is just hard to navigate but I mean there's what there's things you can do but well and hopefully it was nice to hear that even nutrition coaches struggle with it too. So we're infallible in the end please don't send me candy corn and donuts don't send me popcorners. Yeah I'll love it too much. Yeah all right good stuff all right friend we'll talk next week all right bye