Midlife Musings
Unfiltered conversations about the real challenges of navigating midlife
Midlife Musings
Episode 16: Surviving May-cember
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Let’s be honest. May can be a lot. Between school events, kids' sports, the end-of-year busyness, and everything else life is throwing at you, it's no surprise that this is the time of year when most women start to let go of the goals they've been working towards.
In this episode, we're talking about how to keep taking care of yourself even when the month makes you want to shut down.
In this episode, we cover:
- What May-cember is and why it hits women so hard
- Why all-or-nothing thinking is the real enemy of consistency
- The power of establishing your minimums — the non-negotiables that keep you anchored when life gets full
- Thinking of your routine as a dial, not an on/off switch — and how turning it down is always better than turning it off
- Simple ways to protect your energy, your movement, and your nutrition even on your busiest weeks
- How to keep momentum going so you're not starting from scratch come June
If you found this one useful, share it with a friend who needs to hear it, and leave a review if this one resonated. It means the world to us and helps other midlife women find us.
Make sure you're following Midlife Musings so you never miss an episode. New ones drop every Monday.
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All right. So we've been chatting for a good amount of time. Thought maybe we should actually hit record.
SPEAKER_00We do this every week, Dre. Do we not? We do. And it was funny because I was telling you, no, you said it to me. We don't even have a topic. And I was like, no, we don't. I thought about reaching out to you to figure something out. And I'm like, nah, we'll just do it on the fly. We'll figure it out. Which is so ironic because you and I are definitely planners in many areas of our life. And then in others, we're just kind of fly by the seat of our pants, which is why I do not subscribe to the phrase, how you do one thing is how you do everything. I do not believe that is true at all. We only have capacity for so much to begin with. I'm sure there are people like that who are regimented in every single aspect of their life, but I don't think it's true across the board. And I don't think it needs to be in order for someone to be successful.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I mean, I agree that I think a lot of things, yes, I do as a type A, but like I can't do everything to the gnat's ass. Like, I mean, I have limited capacity. So yeah, there are just some things that are like they are not, that's not gonna get all the detail. That's not we're not gonna dotterize and cross our T's with that because I can't. So what are some of those things for you? That I don't cross while picking topics for this podcast.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01No, but I told you beforehand, that's not to sound like we don't plan this. It's because this needs to we want it to be more conversational and relaxed, and we usually have plenty to talk about, and it's just a matter of what do we feel like talking about.
SPEAKER_00Um to be fair, this is the first time where we've gotten on and did not have something. Usually we do. We even have a running list of topics. Yes. So it's not it's like planned, loosely planned.
SPEAKER_01Loosely planned. I was gonna say planned incompetence, but that's not what it is. It's just like we're just not dialed in, but like it's there's still a plan behind behind the scenes there.
SPEAKER_00Even my my content on Instagram that is not planned at all. It's pretty much fly by the seat of my pants. And I know that would make some people, creators, crawl out of their skin. So my former co-host on uh what was that episode of? I can't even remember the name of my former podcast. Um, but yeah, we or she was very regimented and a planner when it came to call she would schedule it like a month out. And I was like, oh my gosh, that just that makes me want to crawl out of my skin. But it's so interesting how everybody is different. But I'm certainly just, and that's not to say either that I never know what I'm gonna post. I have a notes app with probably, I don't know, 50 ideas at this point, but I don't always choose that for the day. Oftentimes it's just more what comes to my mind, and then I create it the day before and then post. And it works for me. It's worked for me for 12 years. Hey, if it works, it works. It can be a little stressful sometimes, but it works. I'm like, uh, I can count on one hand the number of times I have not posted in that long time.
SPEAKER_01So, you know, it's hard with content because I want it to be fresh, but at the same time, yeah, you don't want to stress yourself out like at the being at the last minute. So I loosely have the month planned, but it doesn't, it's more like these are the topics and I try to spread them out. Um and I've got like IG content, my podcast. We don't obviously plan ahead this like meticulously, and then I have a private podcast, so that's like a lot already. So I just want main like okay, I'm gonna talk about this topic, here's my hook or whatever. Um and then I actually fill that in like the week of.
SPEAKER_00So I don't know. Yeah, then I have Instagram content, email, and podcast, and same thing with email, it's not planned either.
SPEAKER_01So yeah, because you also want it fresh, like you know, sometimes things just actually a lot of times my content will come from actual conversations with clients or you know what's going on, and then a lot of times my month plan gets kind of rearranged because I'm like, oh, this is way more important or exactly, yeah.
SPEAKER_00And but you better believe that I'm planning my workouts, my nutrition, all of that. Oh yeah, yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_01So you know, I mean, I think that just makes us balanced humans to have.
SPEAKER_00Although I will say I'm going to Chicago next Thursday through Sunday, so it's a short trip, and I'm starting to think through what that's gonna look like. You know, how am I going to schedule my workouts in the beginning of the week? Am I gonna try to lift while I'm there? Although I probably won't because I looked at the hotel gym and the pickings are slim. Let's just say that. Yeah, it's like some cardio equipment and some dumbbells, and that's not really gonna do it. And I know that that's very much an all or nothing mentality, but I am not an all or nothing mentality type of person. And I would say if there was a client who was just getting started with me, who was, they were struggling with workout consistency, they wanted to keep the momentum going even while they were traveling. I would encourage them to, if they had the time and were able to, to do some sort of abbreviated workout. Yeah. But I have built such a solid foundation that me skipping the gym for a couple of days is not gonna do anything. And I'm also not gonna be so in my head that it's like, oh, well, I've completely abandoned my plan. So might as well just take the rest of the summer off. It's like, no, I'll get back to it on Monday. And I'm actually like, I'm in this group program, and it's really nice because he has options for three two days a week, three days, and four days. I'm on the four-day plan, but I can switch to the two-day plan or the three-day plan very seamlessly. So I'm probably gonna lift Monday and Tuesday, or excuse me, Monday and Wednesday, still get you know adequately similar volume and call it good.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00And I'm not like planning all my meals, like, yeah, I'll bring some stuff, but I'm just not not nearly as regimented as I used to be when it comes to this type of stuff, but we've earned the right to do that.
SPEAKER_01For sure. And I think your context matters. You're not in like a physique phase where you're trying to get, let's say, next level results. Like, I'm in the middle of a fat loss phase right now. So yeah, like I can't be like, I'm just gonna kind of wing it. If I was traveling, I'd have to either make the decision to take a diet break, meaning just go to maintenance to travel, or make it work, which might look like bringing food and a scale and whatnot. Like it so your context matters. And then yeah, I'm the same in terms of like I don't feel the need to go overboard when I travel. Like, I will loosely aim for enough protein, fruits and veggies. Um it depends. I don't always track a lot of times. I let myself let go of that to just be comfortable with not, and it's fine. Um the gym is usually, I mean, there was a time, but actually now I'm thinking about it. If I seek out a gym, it's usually because I'm in like when I was working with Aaron, like that was a priority. I'm paying for coaching, I was you know, actively working on my physique. So yeah, anytime I traveled, I was seeking out a gym and like can I get a week membership? Because that was the context of what I was doing. Now, like, nah, I mean, if there's a gym, yeah, like you said, um, I'll check it out and if I have time, but I don't need it. Um, I always encourage clients, just do something to keep the momentum because it can be very hard if you don't have like either an internal drive. Like I think you and I like really love the gym. So, like being away from the gym, I'm always like, but I want to get back. Um, if you don't have that for whatever reason, then it's probably more important to just keep that momentum because the start and stopping that's hard to you know to start again. Like that's a lot of energy versus just go to the gym and walk on the treadmill, fine.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. And that's what I was trying to say is like I don't have that issue at all. Like, this is just such an ingrained part of my lifestyle. I mean, I've been doing it for 25 years, yeah. Right. So, but that's the thing. I mean, up until I would say a couple of years ago, I was finding any way to get my lifts in when I was out of town. And it would be one thing if I traveled a lot for work, if I traveled often just for pleasure, but I really don't. This is the first trip that I've been on since September. And even when I was in Boston visiting a friend back then, I did train two days in her apartment gym. Uh, you know, it wasn't the best workout, but I think it's like, okay, we have the time, so I'm gonna keep it going. This, while it's like a trip, not really a vacation, I'm going to Chicago for my cousin's graduation. I know that time is limited. This is like a bucket list city for me to visit. So I also want to make the most of my time. And I'm gonna be with family, so I kind of have to work around their schedule, what they want to do. I was really excited because I was assuming that I was gonna have to go to the graduation ceremony, which you know, we know how long those take, especially at college run. I'm like, oh god, and they're just so boring. And then my mom said, Oh no, we weren't able to get tickets. I was like, hallelujah! Like, oh no, it's like, oh, too bad. Oh no, so sad. I was talking to her yesterday. I said, Can you give me an idea what the itinerary is gonna look like? So at least I can plan for what I'm gonna pack and all that. She's like, Oh, well, your cousin now thinks that she can get us tickets to the ceremony.
SPEAKER_02Oh, no, no.
SPEAKER_00Oh no, she's like, which means that we're gonna have to leave the hotel by eight and we're gonna have to take the train, and you know, I was like, Oh, geez, like there goes half of our day. Yeah, um, so yeah, I like and I know for sure that I'm gonna be getting my steps. My mother's gonna be dragging me to pretty much every museum in the city that she can. So that's not gonna be an issue, but we'll see when I get there. I will check out the gym and just uh if it looks good, then maybe I will. I'm uh I'm holding it loosely. Let's just do that. Yeah. Um but there was a time when I was so diligent about tracking my nutrition that I brought a fucking kabocha squash with me. And it got flagged through security and guy was like, never seen this before. Like, yeah, it's just a squash. Yeah. Um, I brought like potato peelers, food scales, like, you know, all that type of stuff and tracked very meticulously. But now what kind of what you said, and just based on how I eat already, I know that I'm gonna get enough protein. So that's not an option. Same thing with veggies and fiber. Uh, that's just what I gravitate towards. But am I gonna be running the numbers in my head and bringing my scale? No, I'm not, but also I'm in maintenance, so yeah, if I was in a deficit like you, it would look different. So yeah, it's all yeah, dependent on the situation. Speaking of, how's your deficit going?
SPEAKER_01It's going good. Um, this week was um not as productive because it was my birthday, and I definitely um I won't say uh indulge, but I definitely was out of the deficit for that day.
SPEAKER_00And my friends, your your birthday dinner looks not all that indulgent. It was like corn on the cob, rice, and well, I don't even know what the protein was. It was brisket, so fattier, yeah.
SPEAKER_01But yeah, like it wasn't like pizza and burgers, what well, I and what I didn't show though afterwards, I wasn't planning on this, but then I was like, it's my birthday. I did have ice cream afterwards. Um not creamy, but real ice cream, like real, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Mud pie mud pie. Oh my gosh, mud pie, not even ice cream, but like mud pie itself is my favorite dessert of all time. What type of mud pie ice cream was this? What brand?
SPEAKER_01Okay, so have you heard of Handles? It's an ice cream shop. Yeah. Their ice cream, I mean it's like handmade. Oh, so good. What's interesting, so there's one you know, by me here. Um, and then I I try to like connect with um local businesses, and I feel like it was the gal who used to do my hair, she was like, Oh, you should meet so-and-so. Um, she has this, she's an aesthetician, and I was like, Oh, that's amazing. And she's here in my town, um, and she's super young. So we met, and then she was like, Oh, my husband owns handles. And I was like, he owns handles, that's amazing. Okay, it's a franchise. So I feel even better about going there because I'm like, oh, I'm supporting someone I know, but so we got a pint of mud pie, which the base was coffee ice cream.
SPEAKER_00That's my favorite. I've been eating coffee. My grandma used to have coffee ice cream growing up when I was growing up, and I started eating it when I was like five years old. It's the best.
SPEAKER_01Okay, so coffee ice cream, go on coffee ice cream with Oreos and fudge. It was uh delightful. Um, it was I and I mean I had a decent like um uh what's it serving. Like I I didn't eat a whole pint, but I certainly had a good enough. But that definitely sent me over, and I was just like, I'm doing it. It's my birthday, it's my favorite. I asked for it and I just wasn't sure whether I'd have it that night or not. And I was just like, it's fine, it's one day, but yeah.
SPEAKER_00Oh, so I wouldn't be able to, I was gonna say, well, next time I come to visit, let's go get some mud pie ice cream, but I don't do dairy anyways, unfortunately. I mean, in a situation like that, I would allow myself to have it, but I definitely don't do gluten, so the Oreos would be a no-go, but oh what a well they've got plenty of other ice cream or ice or coffee-based ice creams, um, even I think just straight coffee ice cream, and it's so good. All right. Well, that sealed the deal. I am great. I am so what I call booked and busy through September with these pet sitting jobs. I was before we recorded, I had to go drop off my rent check. And I said to the girls, like, uh, how much would it be to break my lease? Because I'm thinking of breaking it and moving in with my mom for the next five months. Because I'm literally, I done the math, I will be here maybe five to ten days every single month through September. And that's not even with other jobs that might come up, or if maybe I go and you know visit a friend or something like that. So it's like, is it worth it to be throwing money away every month if I'm not even gonna be here? Yeah, I could save a lot. I could save a lot. We'll see.
SPEAKER_01But your mom, I assume, uh lives near you. Five minutes away.
SPEAKER_00Oh I know it's uh I got some thinking to do anyway. I don't know where I was going with that, but um coming to visit you. Oh yeah, but yeah, and you're booked tonight's cream. Okay, well then, and I saw that you were gonna you wanted to go to Chili's last night, but you went to I've never had Kava.
SPEAKER_01Is it so it is? I so I've heard about it, but they finally put one near me. So I was like, and it's by Chipotle, which we already know that I am obsessed. So I was like, oh, I want to try it, and uh it's real good. Uh it's a little overwhelming because it's very like build your own. I mean, they have pre-built meals, but you know, I'm sure you're like me, where I'm like, if I can, I want to choose it's like Chipotle, but Mediterranean.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yum.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Oh, you know what? Okay, that's wild that you say that because I'm going to Devil Wars Prada tonight with my mom. We're doing like an early Mother's Day celebration, and then she suggested going to Mendocino Farms. Have you been there? Yeah, I've never been. Um, so it's right next to the movie theater. And now that I'm thinking about it, there is a kava on the other side, but I've never been. I like kava better. Do you? Interesting. But I really love Mediterranean, so I don't know. I do too. All right, I'm gonna look at both. Well, it's Mother's Day, so she gets to decide. But she recently discovered Mendocino Farms and is obsessed with it. See so and I did go on the website and I was like, oh, that looks very good. So yeah, I'm all for it. I don't think you're gonna lose either way, but I just have a little bit of a ow.
SPEAKER_01Uh just hit myself. Uh, I like Mediterranean much better. So yeah.
SPEAKER_00All right. Well, good stuff. I'm glad you had a nice birthday and that things are going well, and now you can get back on the deficit track.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you know, and that's just you know, I think for me, where like we were just saying, it's easy to get back on track, and it was more like a decision, like, well, I want it and it's appropriate, and like the deadline I have for myself is just for me.
SPEAKER_00Like it's also easier to get back on it because this is a lifestyle for you and you enjoy eating well, you enjoy training and going for walks and all that. Although I do have to say, I apologize for sending you a Venmo for coffee and donuts.
SPEAKER_01No, I it will get used. Um, I'm just spreading it out. Yes.
SPEAKER_00So you're practicing delayed gratification. I love it. I am, yes.
SPEAKER_01So you know, and I think that's a good, like, so you obviously saw my story last night where I think people just need to hear, like, it's okay to like say no or delay. And um, what is it? There's like research that says like anything, like whether it's like a trip or it's always the anticipation of it that you where you're happiest. So is knowing I have that $15 is actually quite like like oh it's there. Like, do I want to use it today? Like, not today. Okay, we're waiting.
SPEAKER_00Like that's funny. I have a new client, and today's her birthday. And so I messaged her, I sent her a text earlier and just said, Happy birthday. Hope you had a good day celebrating. You know, what are you up to? And she said that she's also going to Double Wears Prada and then out to Mexican. It was like, oh, macrobs don't count on your birthday, right? It was funny because I uh I've been drinking these things called sparkling ice energy drinks. Okay. And oh my gosh, they're so good. They are less expensive and have way less caffeine than a monster or a Celsius and a Lani. And they're a little bit like, for lack of better word, cleaner ingredients. They're also, I think, 16 ounces, so you get way more. So they're just like better all around. And I posted on my stories, I said, drinking this now so that I don't spend $10 on a Diet Coke at the movie theater. Because I know how that's how much this and this client, same one, she messages me. She's like, I'm having the $10 Diet Coke. And so I sent her a Venmo and I said, Here you go, diet Coke on me for your birthday. Happy birthday. Enjoy every sip for me. Yes. Yeah, but anyway, um, all right, shall we get into it?
SPEAKER_01We shall.
SPEAKER_00So you introduced me to a term I have never heard before, which I'm surprised considering you are still technically in the education system.
SPEAKER_01I know, um, but it kind of makes sense. So um you introduced me to May Sember.
SPEAKER_00May Sember, which is basically December in May, because we know December has so much going on with the holidays and especially, and I'm talking more for women who have children. It's likely not going to be the same for us. And I'm sure for you, even though you sub, and maybe when you were well, I don't know, you tell me. I don't want to put words in your mouth. When you were a full-time teacher, were you having to do all of the extracurricular events at the end of the year or during the holidays?
SPEAKER_01So, yeah, like it's funny, I was doing some check-ins this morning, and um one of them, she's a teacher, and I was like, I know what what this time of year is like. They just got back from spring break two weeks ago, and from spring after spring break, it's really like downhill from there. This is where the year just really accelerates, like it goes by really fast because there's just so much to do. So, like they just started state testing, which is why I also kind of why we're um recording today. Um, I will be there for the next month to do state testing. Um, and then school closes, and that is just not a that's not just like, okay, bye, kids see you in September, like especially like what I did. I I had an eighth-grade homeroom. So closing out basically their time at the school I was at and getting them ready to go to high school, which means I have to get like their files ready. Most kids go to the same high school, but some don't, if they're, you know, depending on where they live. So like it's crazy with the paperwork. And then they get a promotion, which eighth grade teachers, homeroom teachers are required to participate in. So that's a night event. They usually have a dance. We are also involved. Well, it depends. Sometimes a PTA would take over that, but, anyways, to your point, yeah, like right now is like I'll see you in June type of thing. Like, that's what you tell your partners. Like, it's just craziness from this point to the end of the school year. It's just kind of like and go. So, yeah.
SPEAKER_00And then I think people are already starting to travel, so there's a lot of moving parts, and it definitely throws a wrench into your schedule. So that's what we want to talk about is how do you maintain that momentum, keep some semblance of consistency going, and even continue to make progress while you are in the thick of it. Because I know a lot of my clients or you know, women in general are like, I'm just trying to survive this month. And I don't think it has to be I'm just surviving. I do still think that there's a way that you can, whether it's maintain the progress or still continue to make it, it's doable if you set the intention and plan ahead. And that's really what it's gonna come down to is planning even more diligently. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I and I know I'm not the only one that says this. I'm sure you would agree too. I think this is the best time to sign up and start like with a coach because this is the make or break time. So like if I can get you going during this time, like it'll only get easier, you know, and it it pains me. I mean, it always happens that somebody, you know, comes into a season like this, whether it's now or December or any other time, and then they come to the conclusion of like, uh, I think I need to pause, you know, it's just too much right now. And I get it, like extenuating circumstances happen, but I just want to say, like, but you have to keep eating, like you have to keep living. So it's not that you need to let go of everything, like that's absolutely classic, all or nothing. You need to find what is your minimum effective dose. So, like, I think that's what we're gonna end up talking about is like, what's the hierarchy of what you can do, or even like worst day. Like, I like to plan from there. What's what can you do on your worst day? Great, that's the bottom. And then based on your bandwidth, you can move up or down. So, like, yeah, I always encourage people like the busier you are, the better, because it can only get easier. And if we can hold on, whether that's like you said, maintaining, um, or even just not going to the extreme of like, screw it, I'm gonna just do whatever the hell I want. That's a win for so many, because this is where people gain weight, right? This is where people just say, I'll come back to it in the fall. Now all of a sudden you're five pounds heavier, you feel worse, you're now you're being like um driven by guilt and shame. What if we just held on?
SPEAKER_00Like, I don't know. And again, you know, even whether it's this month or that it's the holidays or any type of stressful season, I do like to tell someone that even maintenance can be progress. I had a client who she's been with me now for it'll be a year in I think June. And, you know, it's kind of been one of those situations because we know progress is not linear. So she made some really good progress and then things plateaued a little bit, started making good progress again. And then now she is she works in a bar studio, so she teaches classes, but she also does the training. She's a mom of two, so very busy in that way. But now she's also going to school to start another career pretty soon. So she has been just so overwhelmed and stressed with, you know, not only the responsibilities of her current job, momhood, daily living, but now also adding schoolwork and homework and all that to you, studying assignments. And so, yeah, the past three weeks or so, she was I mean, I don't want to say surviving necessarily, but it was just we have to maintain and we've got to dial down the intensity of some of your routines. And she's very much type A perfectionist, wants to do everything at 100% to intensity, but I'm like, it's just it's not feasible.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So give yourself that permission and just accept, yeah, this is gonna be a maintenance season. And I think it's been two weeks since things have started to settle down. And oh, what do you know? Progress is starting to happen again. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So I think it's a good reminder to the results. Whether whether it's weight loss or weight gain, either extreme happens slowly over time. Um, and so pulling back a little bit is really not gonna derail that much. So, you know, let me give you the example of like I hurt my back a couple months ago, February, and that really derailed my training. I mean, it took me out initially for two weeks, then I slowly kind of was getting back into it, and I had to really rearrange my training. Um, and then I re-injured it um again, like a month after that, so end of March. It really wasn't till this last week that I have felt like I finally am back at like the intensity I want, although I really had to upend my training to just take out anything that was gonna be um aggravating my back. And I I haven't lost any progress, like especially like in terms of strength, right? I'm right back to where I was, and I basically took off a month if you look at all the time that I took out. Like I I didn't gain weight, I didn't lose anything. It just took a moment to like readjust, and now I'm back you know to where I was. So like things just happen so much slower than I think people realize, and that's a good thing, it's also a bad thing because it means it things take time, but you know, it's actually a great safety in that like you're not ruining anything when you go through seasons where like me are pulled out of the you know gym or life just is demanding. I mean, you'll be okay.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and going back to what I was saying earlier about building the foundation, that's why it's so much easier for us to whether it's maintain our results or to easily build that momentum, that in your case, muscle back, because we have built the foundation ahead of time. And it was five years ago I had surgery, which kept me out of the gym for six weeks, and that was the longest I had ever taken off. It was glorious to be honest with you. Like I really liked it. Yeah, I know there were some. You probably needed a break. Oh, I absolutely I'm like, when you've been doing this as long as I have, yeah, you need the break after a while, and you will look forward to it. So now I take one or two weeks off per year, and I just kind of like build that into my schedule where oh, maybe it's like I get up, I get sick or yes, I am going on a longer vacation. I don't want to deal with having to figure out the workout situation. So it always just works out well. But this was the first time that I had taken that long off, and I really wasn't anxious about it going in, which I know for a lot of women hearing that they'd be like, uh, how are you not crawling out of your skin? Yeah, yeah, uh, or worried that you were gaining the weight. And I knew because I'm gonna bounce right back. And okay, maybe I lose like a little bit of muscle, but there's that muscle memory, and it's gonna come right back on, which it did. And my physique actually looks better now than it did back then. So what do you know? And you and I both understand that it's not even so much the training. I mean, you can not not train for months and not lose muscle, like you've gotta do that to maintain. But when it comes to like actual body fat gain, it's all about nutrition anyway. So if you keep that dialed in, then you're fine. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I uh you reminded me of something, and now I lost my train of thought.
SPEAKER_00Shoot. I was gonna say one other thing too. Because this came up with a newer client recently. She reached out to me on Monday saying that she hurt herself in a workout and can't train for however long. And she's freaking out about it. And I said, Well, just so you know, it all comes down to nutrition. So if you keep that dialed in, which I mean it's gonna require that you be even more dialed than I would say, then you'll be good. But she also was worried because, well, working out is my stress relief, it's my outlet, and I'm afraid that if I don't have that, then I'm gonna turn to food. And I talk about this quite often. I've been making content around it for years at this point. I think we've even talked about it on the podcast, and it's probably warrants its own episode to begin with. But you need to have what I call a satisfaction or a pleasure cup, and it's not just one thing, but a variety of things, whether it's you know hobbies, interests that you do that keep you fulfilled outside of your workouts or food. Because if those workouts are taken away from you, whether you're sick, which they very well could be, you're sick, you're injured, you are you're screwed. Yeah, I'm sorry, you are like now you're just gonna revert to food and alcohol or you know, whatever your vice of choice is. Um, so it's imperative, especially I would say, in a weight loss phase, to um, yeah, have those varied outlets.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I mean, that's just like a safety net, right? You don't want to rely on just one avenue of um whatever that looks like for you. I I know a lot of people will look at it like, oh, that's my therapy or my outlet. Great. I mean, I'm not saying it's not, but like also that shouldn't be your only therapy, right? I mean, or like you're saying your only outlet. So we do, we want, you know, um a grab bag of things that we can, depending on where we're at, what what capacity we have that we can pull from. And it's very common to yes, be pulled out of the gym for sickness, injury, your kids life, vacation, whatever. So, like, yeah, you need a variety of ways. And I think it's just healthy, anyways, to have a variety of ways to just deal with stress or or whatnot. And if you're having resistance to that, maybe like that's a great place to just ask, like, why is that my only outlet? Like, can I find other ways, you know, to be able to deal with life?
SPEAKER_00Well, interestingly enough, now that I'm thinking about it, it's not even just that. And I think this would be more for me because I didn't always use exercise or food as a stress outlet. It was more my identity was wrapped up in my body and how I looked. So, God forbid you get sick. I mean, there was one thing, okay, I was out of the gym because I had elective cosmetic surgery, but like I knew I was gonna come back. But what if you got like a debilitating illness or injury, and now you really can't train and like, yeah, your body, how you look, that has been how you associate your self-worth, let's say, and that's taken away from you. That is very revealing, and it's gonna be unsettling as well. So we have gotten completely so let's uh let's bring it back. Let's bring it back. Okay.
SPEAKER_01I do remember what I was gonna say before, and that was uh, I think, especially for you and I, you know, one of the main goals is always lifestyle. Yes, people have goals, like physique goals, and I know you you want to work with someone that wants that little like that extra level, right? Um it still comes down to having a lifestyle that you can fall back on, that like when things change, right? Like you're just in a season of being super busy or you're sick, you're injured, whatever, that you have that foundation there. And I think sometimes it's revealing, right? When people don't want to adjust, that it's like, okay, but wait, what's your overall goal? Is it just getting the body of your dreams, or is it actually the health that comes along with it and then the lifestyle that helps support it, right? So, like it's this is where like maintenance is still a goal because you're gonna probably spend a lot more time there once you've achieved. Actually, even on the way, I mean, like, I have clients who've been with me for years because they understand like seasoning out, you know, their years, and like you do go through seasons of like pushing, you have seasons of maintenance and we work on other things. Um, we go through seasons of dieting, yes, and bulking and whatnot, right? And like it's just fun to see the long, the long term, right? So we'll bring that back to okay, well, what about when we have a May Sember where bandwidth is low because life is pulling us, you know, all kinds of crazy ways.
SPEAKER_00Um and let me say one thing because it's actually really pertinent to what my next five months are gonna look like where I'm away from home and out of my technical routine. That is why it has been so helpful for me to not only have had established these routines for so long, but we talk about this often when it comes to consistency and adherence, especially with the nutrition and having those repeatable meals that you enjoy. So I don't even have to think about it. Because I eat pretty much the same thing every day, even though I am going to be living at other people's houses, I am not relying on showing up and oh, I sure hope that they have food in the refrigerator that I can eat or that that pantry's well stocked. Like, no. So I make sure that I bring everything with me. And does it take more time and intention because I gotta pack up all my shit and cart around like from one place to the next? Yeah, it is a little bit of a pain in the ass. But at the same time, like once I'm there, it is just seamless. And it makes it actually easier to pack because I know exactly what I need to bring with me, what I need to pick up at the store, and then I'm good.
SPEAKER_01And I mean, honestly, like I know it's you're putting in the time up front, but you would probably put more time on the back end had you not, right? And now you're trying to like figure it out on the fly. Like, that's where like you just have to recognize, yes, it's a little annoying in the beginning, or I should say, in um beforehand when you're trying to plan, because that's me. Like, I think I've said this here where like I'm always the gal with the food bag. Like when I go subbing, I know people know it's me based on like my bag of food that I always have with me, or when I go to my sisters, it's like you're the bag lady, yes, because lady because I always have my backpack with my laptop, and then I have my food bag, yeah. Um, and then if it's a gym name, I have a gym bag, you know. So yes, I am absolutely a bag lady. I don't care, and I love bags, but um yeah, like I know people are like, but that's like a lot of work. And I'm like, how much work are you spending or time when you're doing it on the fly, though? Like, because I get to fly through my day and not have to worry, you know, I have it all either with me or planned. I have it uh intentions that allow me to just focus on other things, you know.
SPEAKER_00Like And I know that you not all of your clients actually track their macros. Um, mine do, I do, but why is it like pulling teeth to get people to pre-log their day? I mean, I think I think I know why because they think, oh, it's time consuming, it's overwhelming. I think there's also a little bit of perfectionism at play where if I pre-log and then the plan changes, oh, now I'm a failure because I can't follow it to a T, which you know that's not the goal. I say pre-logging is really more than anything. Like now you have that skeleton. So if something does change and now I can't have that meal, we're going out to eat, you've got to pivot. Well, at least you know this is what I allotted for, and I can fit whatever I'm gonna have instead into those numbers. Um, but yeah, last week, I think I maybe said this on the podcast, everything runs together at this point. Um, but I decided that I was gonna switch up my lunch one day and I had not pre-logged it. And so I was in a hurry. And I'm like, oh gosh, now I've got to track as I go and figure out like what are the numbers, you know, this and that. It was stressful as hell. And this is coming from someone who has tracked their macros for like 15 years. So for someone who is not, they're newer to this, then yeah, that's gonna be overwhelming. No wonder why you don't stay consistent with it or you know, you think it's so hard. But had I just known with certainty, okay, this is the numbers that I need, just put it on the scale and we're good to go. Move on with the day. Yeah, rather than taking the time to stop and now having to do it in the moment, yeah, and that's definitely not gonna happen fly in a May summer type of month.
SPEAKER_01No, no. And like again, I just think having like I already have my day pre-tracked. Will it go that way? Probably, but there is a chance that it might it that actually gives me more flexibility because I already have things laid out. So, like if I wanna add a donut or whatever, then okay, I can actually look at it in real time and be like, well, I could, you know, uh pull out some fat, let's say at dinner or whatnot, or maybe we don't have dessert tonight, or you know, whatever. Like it to me, it actually gives me more choices because I already have, like you said, the skeleton there. But I'll I'll say you've said this um the repeated meals, but I think too, just simple meals. Like I know people really want variety. And okay, we can build in some, but just there, it's like a give or take. The more variety, well, then the more work, the the more effort it's going to create. Um, and then also with simplicity, which is why I'm very I mean, if you see a lot of my meals, they're just like my birthday meals, like brisket, corn, and I feel like there was one other thing. Oh, rice. Yeah, like a lot of my meals are that way because they're simple to make, um, and then they're really simple to track. And so I just I don't want I'm willing to sacrifice a little bit of like the complexity um to just make it easier for myself. But also, you should use like spices and herbs and seasoning. That's where you're there's only so many so many ways you can make chicken, right? So like the flavor is gonna come from seasoning, but yeah, so simple, repeatable, like it's just once clients buy the into that and the pre-tracking, they're like, oh my god, it's so much easier. I'm like, I know, right?
SPEAKER_00Like, who would have thought it's like it's like we do this for a living or something?
SPEAKER_01You know, I mean it's funny. I was just doing um, I have a client who's just starting a fat loss phase, and I will like create a success guide for them. And I tell them, like, we're not bodybuilders, but we're gonna certainly steal some of their strategies because if we're looking at people who take their physique to, you know, an extreme, well, obviously, like success leaves clues. And I'm like, oftentimes they are sticking to very like single ingredient foods and like not a bunch of variety. And so I have a list of like, you know, like these six foods will take you a long way, just change up the flavoring. Um, use that to your advantage. I mean, look at if they're able to accomplish that, well, let's kind of steal some of that.
SPEAKER_00So yeah, and the reason why eating repeat mills is so easy for me isn't just because of the convenience and how it saves time and reduces decision decision fatigue, excuse me. It's because I actually enjoy what I eat and I I look forward to it. I am thinking about my breakfast when I go to bed because I like it that much. So if you find some ones that you enjoy, that yeah, it's not gonna be so hard.
SPEAKER_01No, people are like, How do you have your same oatmeal every day? And I'm like, because I like it.
SPEAKER_00I like it.
SPEAKER_01I really do like it. It's very like to me, like savory and it's not indulgent, but it feels like tasting.
SPEAKER_00But I think I think part of the issue too is not only do people feel like they need variety, I don't even think it's so much that is they need I mean, I guess novelty and variety is kind of one and the same, but they are bored in other areas of their life, their life is not fulfilling, and so they're seeking that gratific that satisfaction through food, which is going back to what we were saying earlier in the conversation. So if you have different outlets that bring you enjoyment, then it's gonna be easier for your eating to be a little more simplistic, but still making it something that you look forward to or that you can um, I mean, even I wouldn't say tolerate, but more than tolerate, like, oh yeah, this is good. I can eat like this for the rest of my life. Um and and then yeah, like every now and then you seek out that variety by going out to eat or yeah, switching up the the spices, the seasonings, however you want.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I I do want to offer like um kind of what I give my clients, which is like a hierarchy that they can kind of at all times scale up or down, because I just think that's part of life is being able to navigate. And so, like, if you're going into May Sumber um and you already know, then this can be really helpful. Um, and you know, I this can be adapted however you want, but like personally, this is you know what I have clients do, and that's like you have to have again that like um what's the minimum that you can do? And for me, I always encourage clients like the plants, you need to get in plants because 80 to 90 percent of Americans aren't eating enough, so like I already know coming in you weren't, and it's the first thing that people just kind of like they want to let go of. So it's like okay, even on your worst day, can you eat an apple? Can you eat a serving at every meal better? Can you have two servings? So, even there, like there's like scalability there, like so. Like to me, my encouragement is always like, even on your worst day, you're gonna get those plants in because that means we're gonna at least get full fuller right from filling types of food that are low in calorie, high volume, high fiber. Next level is protein. I don't actually have protein as the highest because. I think more people don't eat enough fruits and veggies than they do. Protein, and it's harder to obtain, I think, sometimes. But play devil's advocate.
SPEAKER_00Go ahead. Is it really? You can go to a gas station and get plenty of protein options these days.
SPEAKER_01Like um, I have a hard time finding lean options. A lot of times it's like really fatty, like beef jerky. I just find like there's gonna be fruit.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I think like I'm just thinking if I go to like my gas station, the the the beef jerky, they're spat-free. They've got the full power. Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm even seeing like Greek yogurt at gas stations these days. Hey, I mean, if you can do both Walmart, like any of those places, so it's just about I think the intention. Correct.
SPEAKER_01And sometimes it's the bandwidth.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Sometimes it's the bandwidth in terms of like people have an easier time being able to identify fruits and veggies versus like you know, protein can start to become complicated because it's not always just meat, you know, like there's protein bars and like protein cookies, and now we're having to evaluate macros to be like, that's actually a candy bar, but you know, uh, anyway, that's to me the hierarchy, like again, is your plants first, then protein, and then portions, and that would be like calories, right? And if you can just scale up and down on your best day, great, do it all, of course. Like, especially if we're in, let's say, a fat loss phase or we're in a dedicated phase where we're looking at that, great, then you need to be hitting all three, you know, uh, on a consistent basis. But like there might be days where you're just like, I'm barely hanging on, get some fruits and veggies in, right? And it just allows people to have something to do so they don't let go and go, forget it, I'm gonna start again next week, or you know, because that's really hard to again that inertia you're having to create every week, like that's why you're exhausted, that's why you feel like you're doing a lot, but not. Yeah, you know, so it just kind of kind of helps. And then, like, a lot of times what happens is clients will get in their fruits and veggies and be like, oh, I can do protein too. And they end up doing more than um they anticipated, so that's always great. That's great, that's a bonus.
SPEAKER_00So yeah, I call it the the BAMs or the bare ass minimums. So basically exactly what you were saying. And I feel it's really important to establish those firsthand, but also accept the acceptance piece is huge because when you can do that, then you take the guilt, the shame, I'm not doing it well enough off the table. It's like all right, this is actually part of the plan.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00At this point, so I like everything that you said about the protein or excuse me, the fruits and veggies, then the protein, then the portions, that alliteration, you know, I love it.
unknownYep.
SPEAKER_00Uh so maybe when it comes to movement, even if you can't get in a full workout, can you is one of your minimums? I go out for a walk. It doesn't have to be a 30-minute walk. It's I'm going out for as long as a walk as I have time available. Um, and then maybe one other kind of like nutrition-related, I would say just wellness is I'm going to get X amount of water so that I stay hydrated because that's really going to help with energy, mental clarity. I mean, people will say you're not hungry, you're thirsty. I don't really think that's the case, but um, you know, maybe sometimes it's mistaken. But yeah, we need don't be a dehydrated bitch. That's just not good. It's not doing you any favors, right? No, no. And then, so that's one is like, okay, what are my minimums? But then, and I actually wrote a post about this yesterday, so it's top of mind. It was like the May Sumber survival list or you know, essentials for women in this uh this month. And the other option can be just dialing down the intensity of what you are already doing. So if you really want to stay true to that routine, no, I want to get my walks in, I want to get my lifts in, I want to hit my targets, or I want to like keep eating in the way that makes me feel good. Okay, maybe you go from kind of like what I'm gonna be doing next week, four workouts down to two workouts. Maybe those workouts need to be abbreviated, where instead of doing the accessory work like your lateral raises and your biceps and triceps, I'm just doing the compound movements, or I'm only doing one hard set. So that's gonna cut the workout in half. Um if I usually get 10,000 steps per day, maybe it's 7,000 steps per day. If I don't want to trap all my macros to a T, I'm eating balanced meals, uh, you know, protein, fiber, carb source, whatever, um, at every meal. So they're like different ways that you can do it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So I like to say, because I think a lot of our clientele are moms, uh, they have children. If you don't, you might you're likely child adjacent like I am, or I have three littles who feel like um my secondary children. But as a parent, like you're not showing up a hundred percent every day and doing all the things like some days, it's the bare minimum. Like, you know, we're feeding the kids, we're keeping them safe, you know, and then there's days where like we're doing more, you know, like maybe we're we're creating little fun activities for them, we're taking them to the zoo or whatever. Like you, but you can't go at a hundred percent with your children every single day. Like, that's just impossible, right? I mean, and your kids don't require that you are a hundred percent present every single day, you know. I mean, you you just need to show up. Sometimes those bare minimums are actually good enough and it can be actually productive. I think like you were sort of saying, and like you felt better after taking time off. Like sometimes, yeah, we actually need to pull back a little bit, and either like the motivation kind of comes back when we take a break because all of a sudden you're like, oh, I missed it, right? Or you're able to fully recover, so like intensity can go up. Um, yeah. So I mean, I think in a lot of areas of life, we understand the nuance of dialing up and dialing back. I mean, I think you probably use this analogy too of like your health is a dial. Some days we're doing lots, and some days we're just making sure not to eat like an asshole, and that's okay.
SPEAKER_00And that and that is possible. Going back to what you said, you've still got to eat. So just even if you feel overwhelmed, try to slow down, breathe, and think through. Like, I am a smart individual. Yeah, I know how to make a good choice. I'm working with this coach, or even if you're not working with a coach, you know, there's enough information out there where yeah, logically, I know what to do. I know how to eat healthy. Maybe emotionally, it's not what I want to do in the moment. But think of your future self and also when you are fueling your body properly, when you are staying hydrated, when you are moving, when you are getting enough sleep, it's going to be so much easier to stay regulated and grounded and actually be able to handle these more stressful seasons with a bit more ease or grace rather than feeling like you're running around with the chicken like with your head cut off.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, for sure. Sometimes, yeah, like maybe that's the even the goal is just almost regulation, right? So that you can at least make the best choice because you know it's like sleep, like let's say lack of sleep isn't gonna necessarily cause you to gain weight, but it's certainly gonna put you in a position where you're gonna want to do all the behaviors that lead to it, right? So it's like, why are you making it harder for yourself? I mean, I get it. Sometimes you don't have a lot of control over that, but sometimes we do. Like if you're doom scrolling till midnight, um, yeah, you're gonna have to grow up and be like, this is making things harder.
SPEAKER_00And if you are sleep deprived, if you're not eating well, so now your blood sugar is on a roller coaster, or you've skipped meals and now you're hangry. Oh, what's gonna happen when Johnny comes home from school and he tells you at the last minute that, oh, I have to have, you know, this costume for theme day tomorrow. Now you're scrambling, you're probably gonna bite his head off, and then you're gonna feel bad. Like it just does you no favors in so many ways. There's one other thing that I want to give permission to the women out there that I think can really help. And it has nothing to do with how you eat or move or sleep, but it's allowing yourself to say no to certain things. I'm sure there's something on that calendar of yours that you really don't have to attend.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So put put the like the absolute yeses, the things that I definitely want to go to or that are required of me, and then look at everything else and say, even if I feel kind of bad, can I let this go? And let it be okay.
SPEAKER_01A hundred percent. And you know, if you have a partner, I think having that conversation of like, hey, either my bandwidth is low right now, I need extra help, or hey, I'm gonna pull back on X, Y, Z. Um, or just you know, asking for that support. I I, as women, I think we're just terrible at asking for help. I don't know, maybe that's a type A thing, but I think we also think we can do it all, and we want to, right? There's a lot of us are people pleasers as well, but um, I certainly did where I got my validation.
SPEAKER_00Like, look how much you can do. Yeah. Exactly. And then I'd be right.
SPEAKER_01So yeah, uh having that conversation and anticipating, I think, too, like you said, giving yourself that permission to say, like, it's still worthy of doing less. Because I think the alternative of not doing it at all, like that's more detrimental. And that's where like I try to ingrain like something is better than nothing because it's gonna keep your momentum, it's gonna keep inertia. Even if we've like when you go on a hike, right? Like, you don't anticipate you're gonna keep keep the same pace, especially if it's a rigorous hike. What gets you to the end is slowing your pace, taking breaks, maybe pulling off to the side to let your legs rest, catch your breath, right? But as long as you keep moving, you're gonna make it. You don't go like, oh well, I have to I have to take a break, so I'm gonna just go back to the car. What? No. You naturally just change your pace based on the terrain and take breaks when you need them, but like eyes forward, and okay, if it takes an hour and a half instead of you know an hour, fine. Like, does that mean you failed? Not at all. Like, no, so I don't know if that's a great analogy.
SPEAKER_00Uh, and also be willing to ask for help or outsource, lean on convenience. I mean, one of the reasons why it is easy for me to eat the way that I do, aside from the fact that I like it, is I don't chop shit. No, why? I'm not I'm not washing and peeling vegetables, I'm not chopping that type of stuff. Or I mean washing and peeling, I should say, fruit, vegetables, whatever it is. No, everything that I buy for the most part is pre-washed, pre-chopped, and I lean heavily on frozen. Uh, same thing with my protein sources. So eggs, liquid egg whites, canned tuna. Um, if I was not dairy intolerant, I would be doing cottage cheese, Greek yogurt. I use protein powder quite a bit. So I'm not like all of my meals take so they're so simple, but they don't take a lot of time to prepare because I am buying myself that time through the convenience option. Convenience foods are the best, especially if you're busy. Also, in a special season that I don't do this, but I've suggested it to many clients. Maybe you get a meal delivery service for the month. So there's like factor, there are some other ones. Target even has these amazing frozen meals right now. I don't remember the name of them off the top of my head, but they have, you know, like pasta, like they're all high protein. So, you know, pasta with chicken and broccoli, and I can't remember some of the other options, but I was looking at them, I was like, wow, 30 grams of protein and like pretty calorie-friendly as well. So that is something to lean on. And then again, asking for help. So whether that's from a friend, hey, I'm really overextended. Can you pick my kid up from school and drop him off or you know, take him to this practice? Because I think people naturally want to be helpers, and sure it's interesting. And I'm kind of getting off um, you know, pace with this too. But I listened to a podcast earlier in the week about the concept of meaning and how we talk about purpose a lot, and I think that's a very daunting task to find what your purpose is gonna be, whether it's with your career, you know, something else. But I think a lot of people they want to have meaning in their life and they want to feel like they are meaningful. And one of the ways that you do that is by being helpful to other people. So yeah, if someone asks me, hey, can you do XYZ? Like, yes, I mean if I have a bandwidth, absolutely. Yeah, and that makes me feel really good. Like I've taken my mom to last year, excuse me, yesterday we got pedicures, today we're going to the movie, then we're going to dinner, and I'm treating her to all of it. I gave her her Mother's Day gift earlier in the week, or excuse me, last week. And nothing brings me more joy than seeing someone else appreciative of what I have done for them. That gives me way more satisfaction than going and buying myself a new outfit. So I think that's just, you know, something to like keep in mind. That's been top of mind for me recently is that yeah, I think we feel bad because we don't want to put someone else out when really I think for most people actually enjoy it. Um, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. Yeah. I think you're giving somebody else the opportunity, right, to help and like feel good about that. It's like a win-win, you know, you get help and they get to feel like, oh, like she trusted me, you know, and like I was able to come through, you know. Yeah, I think certainly that's how you make a life worth living is being not of service to the you know, detriment of yourself. That's not what I'm saying. Sometimes I feel like that's what women hear. Um, but yeah, like some of that purpose is just feeling needed. Like that's a great feeling. And I know anytime somebody asks again, yeah, like you said, if I have the bandwidth, I'm happy to do it. I really am. Like it makes me feel good. Like, oh, I would love to make your life easier if I can.
SPEAKER_00Like, yes. And also, like in this situation, because I think there is that guilt component of, oh, I know how overwhelmed and stretched thin I am. I don't want to put that on another mom who was already in that same position. But maybe if that mom is already taking her kid to school or to practice, whatever the case may be, then it's really no sweat off of her back. Okay, maybe she's got to go five minutes out of her way to like, you know, pick the kid up or drop him off. But at the end of the day, I don't think it's a big deal. And also now you are giving that other person permission to ask for help. And I think as well, yeah. So many of us high achieving women, we need that. We need to understand, like, we don't have to do it all. We I wrote this in my uh caption yesterday. We are not octopuses, we don't have ARM. As much as that would be really great. Wouldn't that be so helpful? Yeah, but we don't. Uh, and then you know, if you have a partner, ask them for help as well. So, one of my clients, she is going into that really busy season because she is a teacher. So, for the next 30 days, and she not only does she teach in the classroom, she does more actually like leadership, she doesn't have a classroom, but uh she is doing a lot of the extracurriculars, she's coaching track, and so she's overextended. And her husband just finished tax season. So for a while, he was the one who was really busy. She was having to pick up more of the load at home, and now he has a bit more time and capacity. So I said, ask him for help because now he can give it to you. And it's always that ebb and flow. That's what relationships are about. It's it really should not be one-sided.
SPEAKER_01No, I heard I don't know who I heard this from, but this applies. Uh, they were talking in terms of marriage, but I think it applies to any significant relationship is that they're never 50-50. That's not possible. Like sometimes it's 80-20 because somebody's got a season that's gonna require more, so they can only give 20 and the other person picks up the slack, but it's constantly like a give and take, where like, but you also have the opportunity to take a little more, right? It's just you don't want it to completely be like always one-sided, but that's the reality is like, yeah, sometimes I'm asking more, and sometimes I'm the giver, right? And that that's a great dynamic to be able to do that. And I love that you said it does give the other person permission when you ask that they can ask, you know, and um, I don't know. I just know I am honored when somebody asks asks a favor of me because I'm like, oh yeah, I would love to help, and I yeah, I want to be a helper, so yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Uh what is that Mr. Rogers coat? Gosh, something always look for the helpers.
SPEAKER_01I don't know.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, and it feels really good to be one. It does. And also, I mean, I'm not in a relationship anymore, but this is a mistake that I used to make when I was in one is keeping score, whether that's whether that is in romantic partnerships or friendships, and I am in that season right now because I'm single, because I don't have kids, I have more time to do certain things. So I'm noticing that because of it, I'm often the one who has to go first, who has to say to my friend, Hey, do you want to get together? And I will be the one to come to you.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_00And I'm not saying like, I'm not, yeah, keeping tabs, like when is it gonna be her turn? Because it's just it is what it is. And if I want to maintain that friendship and not have resentment and animosity, then that's just what it's gonna be for right now.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's a season of life they're in, and you accept that. And yeah, I mean, I I think that that's yeah, really it it can be like you and I as single, uh like no children. Um, yeah, we have more bandwidth than the average, you know, 40-year-old woman right now. So like I'm happy to show up more for my family in particular right now, because I can. And I can take grandma to a doctor's appointment. I can watch the kids. If I mean that's also just a blessing of like owning my own business. I can make my own hours and yeah, like being able to show up in that way. And like, I know that sometimes I'm doing more, but like, but I'm in that season of life right now where I can, like well, we went all over the place with this one, but I think there were I think there were many good nuggets. Take the nuggets that you needed, right?
SPEAKER_00Absolutely, yes.
SPEAKER_01That was good.
SPEAKER_00I think we all need that conversation of reminders. And if you are in the I don't want to say the thick of May Summer because it's only May 2nd, but as you go into it, and this applies to the summer months as well, because those can be somewhat the same. Yeah, so I don't think for many people things are going to be slowing down. I mean, do they ever, but you know what we mean. Yeah, so hopefully this is helpful and Godspeed to you.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely, but I think too, it's it can still be productive, it just might look like a different productivity than what you want, but that's okay. Like it'll as long as you're staying the course, right? Just remember the the hike. Um stay the course rather than like I'm gonna go back to the car. That's what sets people back.
SPEAKER_00Like something is always better than nothing, always, yes, progress over perfection. All of those. You can stay the cliches all day, but they're there for a reason. Yep, they work, they mean something. So yeah, all right. Well, have a good rest of your weekend, my friend. And we will talk in a couple of days because we got to record early since I'll be gone. We yes, we do, and enjoy your movie.
SPEAKER_01I really want to know how how uh how it is. I will update you and the listeners on Tuesday. I'm I've heard good things. Awesome. I mean, come on now, it's gotta be good.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely. Did you read the book? I did not, I didn't even realize it was a book. Yeah, I didn't either. The book is, I mean, I feel like the Moby is never as good as the book, so I'm not gonna read the book just because you'll be disappointed.
SPEAKER_01All right, okay, we'll talk soon. Alrighty, bye.
SPEAKER_00Bye.