1: First Episode! Dog Season

The very first episode of the NPZ Horoscope show. A radio show-style version of the NPZ Horoscope Substacks.

Transcript

Speaker 0:00

Hello, my dears, and welcome to the very first episode of the new Pinniped Zodiac Horoscope Podcast. Or uh yeah, we're just gonna call it like the NPZ show. This is the first audio thing I've done um maybe ever that wasn't scripted beforehand. So it's gonna be a little bit of a different vibe than what I usually do. Um, and remains to be seen if I will continue not scripting it, because I usually do like to have my things kind of written out in advance, but um we're gonna give it a try. We're gonna give it a shot, we'll see. Um, it obviously is still edited, as you can tell from stuff like this. I thought this would be an easier way to kind of knock through the NPZ um questions that you guys have written in, which I love, I love the NPZ questions, don't get me wrong, but I to script it in advance I felt was um just not the vibe. I think it's kind of nice to answer those things a little more organically, and also to save the substack for essays. Um, and also I don't have anything like this. Like, I don't do any live streams really, and I haven't toured in a hot minute, and I don't fucking show my face on the internet anymore, and I don't make TikToks and shit. So I thought it would be nice to do something that's a little bit more um social or whatever, perhaps parasocial. You know, there's really nowhere. I really have fucking scrubbed my spirit off of the internet. Perhaps it's a good idea to reintroduce some level of personality to my internet image. So without further ado, let me, I'm gonna read your guys' questions and do the do the horoscope. Woo!

Speaker 1:54

Okay, this message is from Static, who is sign the woman, but has chosen the first man. Yeah, my whole deal with the woman being the sign for the first person is because I'm really interested in this idea of like um human beings thinking in the first person as being like a fundamental line that we draw between ourselves and our environment. And I think that from the very minuscule amount of like Jung psychology type shit that I've gotten into recently, um, there's a case to be made that the first person is "male" because like he kind of sees well, I actually am talking out my ass, so I'm not even gonna fucking say that. But my point is you could make like a very woo-woo, you know, symbols drifting in the dreamscape claim about women being kind of coded as the environment and as the home and the hearth or whatever, um, and masculine energy being coded as the first person and um the ego. But I just thought it was neat for the NPZ to draw attention to that and kind of flip that and have the woman sign be like centered around the like dramatic tension of being being an entity with an ego and a sense of self and an identity against a backdrop, even if you are a woman and coded as the backdrop itself in the environment. You know what I mean? Does this make any fucking sense? I feel like you know, I can expand on this if you want. I guess it's also worth saying at this point in the show, um, that the NPZ is supposed to be like an opportunity to think and speak in symbols that you're not sure about the meaning of, because I think that that's fun and good and cool in a creative context. And I want to have a playground like that for myself, and I thought that you know, maybe you guys would fucking like that. So I this that's what this is, that's why I did this. Um, and also because I'm insane and I can't I can't allude to lore and not have thought it through at all, which perhaps is a me problem. But like when I was doing the water dogs thing, I wanted there to be kind of like the vibe of there being a science behind it, and I couldn't in good conscience play with that aesthetic and then not have anything to back it up. So I made a whole zodiac. So I made a whole zodiac. Yeah, that's what I did. That's normal because I couldn't just make a fun album cover pretending that there was lore. So I just made a whole story about it. Anyway, I'm gonna leave this alone and return to it later. Because this is you know what? This is the show. This is unscripted. You you wanted to fucking hear unscripted. Well, now I can't finish a thought. So oh my god. Okay.

Speaker 5:09

Um, Static writes, They/them, mid-late July. I'm unsure why I'm doing this, compelled, I suppose. I'm young enough, about to start college. What I actually want to ask is what the woman does to fill in the incessant gaping hole in that is in her chest. Perhaps metaphorically, perhaps physically, that strange bridge between both, the psychosomatic spiritual bridge. You have friends, you connect, you try over and over, and you want to reach out, um, you want to do things. You're running, running, running, but running will never take the place of flight. What does the first woman do? Holy shit. Let me hold on, let me spend a little time with this and read that again. Perhaps metaphorically, perhaps physically, that strange bridge between both. The psychosomatic spiritual bridge. Okay, I kind of have an answer to this, but let's look at your chart first, let me think. I'm gonna draw one real quick. Just because I happen to know it, because I'm crazy and I believe my own bullshit. Okay. Perfect. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. You are right here. Perfect. Okay. Alright. Right. The first person has to do with um ego and identity against a tapestry of stories about yourself. You're not just living against an environment that is distinct from you, you're also living amongst stories about you that kind of confuse and tamper with your first person account of what is happening to you and about you and with you. Um, okay. And then your complement is the dog. Your neighbors would be seal and machine. Badass combo, word. Okay. Cool. Question is what do you do about the void, essentially? Um, so true, many such cases. Your primary sign would advise you to um make peace with the fact that there are things about your experience and about your identity that you will never be able to confidently communicate to the social world, which is telling you stories about yourself. So there's things that you're gonna experience and things that you're gonna go through that it's not that you can't tell anyone, it's that you can never be sure that they will get it the way that you get it. And in that way, I think the gap you're talking about can never be bridged. You know, I would just say the good news is that you shouldn't want it to be bridged. It's actually important that we are discrete entities that are not enmeshed with each other. It's it's like there's a loneliness to the fact that you are your own person, but it's also like a gift. Um, and if you think about it, you wouldn't really want it any other way. So that's that's the woman's advice um as a sign. Um your complement, the dog, has to do with how do I put this? The dog has to do with a sense of justice, not like high-minded fancy justice, but just like natural justice. Like, how do we treat each other? What feels fair in the body? Um, and I guess that could be an answer to your question. Because you mentioned here you have friends, you connect, you try over and over. Well, that's how you fill the void. And like, is it filled permanently? No, but there's a sense of community that you create and that you get from um maintaining a basic order in your social life, you know, you just you do good enough enough times in a row, and I think in hindsight, you jump gaps. That's a that's a dog answer. Your neighbors, I always try to give balanced advice with the neighbors. I like to think of them as kind of yeah, like balancing each other out. So you have machine and seal. So seal, I always say, is the queen of good enough, which is something I struggle with in my personal life with. Um, and machine is all about looking at your situation from a more neutral perspective. So I guess one way we could read this for you, for a machine to be good or bad, or you know, full or empty, that's those terms are subjective. So you have to define what you mean in order to work towards what you want. So part of what's going on with your question here is it's very abstract, which is kind of the point. I guess you're kind of you're going like a weird Myth of Sisyphus-core direction here, and talking about a feeling that you know there are some there's an abstract void to the self that is never filled, and that's probably true, but that's different from having practical goals and practical voids that can be practically filled, and so I think you know, your neighbors in the NPZ are offering advice that you pick your battles, basically. You pick your battles, you define your terms, and you fill a void and jump a gap in a certain way today. And maybe tomorrow you pick different battles and you try to win them. And there are like great infinite forces that are out of our control, but there's also like normal, stable forces in reality that are in our control, practically. Like, sure, nothing's in your control in a broad spiritual sense, you know, perhaps, but but if you if you cross the room and you pick up a cup, you know, if you set your mind to do that, you'll probably do it. You know, the sun's probably gonna come up tomorrow. I think defining what your goals are today and pursuing them is a good place to start. Your longitudinal and latitudinal signs um are kind of reality and unreality, which I guess is kind of the central tension of your question. You know, what do you do about that feeling? Um uh you nothing. You you don't you don't do anything about that feeling. That tension is like the tension that holds the world together, I fear. Um, the tension between what is and what is not, and like what can be and what cannot be. Uh unfortunately, that is the universe. Um so I wouldn't fuck with that personally. I would let that be. Um, I don't know if you have the ability to fuck with that. I think maybe you do not, but even if you did, I would not advise raging against it. I actually think that tension belongs there.

Speaker 11:57

Okay, great. Next question. To ground a stressy not seal by Pix. Awesome. Okay. Hello Penny. I'm Pix. She/her, turning 20 in two days. Congrats. Which would make me a not seal, I believe. Do you have any advice to feel more grounded? Lately, I have found myself feeling disconnected from myself as and as if I am functioning in three, maybe more, pieces of a person. I would blame it on the semi-recent new job, but the feeling only hit me these past few weeks. I don't know, I feel like a rotting old computer, but not in a depressed way, if that makes sense. Yeah, that makes sense. All I can say is I'm really resonating with the work from infinity frequencies, and can only describe how I'm feeling with the album's exit simulation and between two worlds. I don't know, maybe I've been listening to too much Ambient and Vaporwave lately. lol happens. Looking forward to hearing back. Okay, give me one second, I'm gonna quickly Google these albums. Okay, I have um encountered the albums. Uh distressing. No, not distressing. Um, but but yeah, um, that is quite a vibe. Um, okay, cool. So your question is, how do you feel more grounded? You feel stressed? It sounds like you're feeling kind of like hazed and avoidant, which happens, no worries. Um okay, great. Let's check your chart. Let's look, let's look. So the unseal is all about unknowable things, unreality, you know, the world not for us, which is a a term that I got somewhere. I didn't make that up. The world the world not for us. Horror. In the dust of this planet is where I ripped the term the world not for us. Um, in case you're curious. And I haven't made it far enough into that book, frankly, to be speaking on it. But um, uh whatever. The world not for us, it's like an interesting, of course, my limited understanding. Always take what I say with a grain of salt. Um, but the world not for us is like an interesting take on why horror works and like cosmic horror and this idea of horror and fear having to do with a sense that there is a world not for humans, like that we're kind of out of place or something like that, which is I really like when I think about the unseal, because that's the whole thing, right? Is like, like, what is she? What is the unseal? She's like a representative of either disorder or an order that is not fathomable to us as human beings or whatever. Um, okay, cool. But also importantly, the unseal is not a monster. She is a monster in like a in a certain sense, but she's not a monster in a moral pejorative sense. Important to the unseal is that we don't know how she feels about how she is perceived by us. That's one of the unknowns. I feel a kinship and a tenderness towards the unseal. So, first and foremost, how to feel more grounded. The unseal's advice is always to make peace with the unknown and to make peace with things that are fundamentally outside of your scope and beyond your grasp. To get, once again, like totally Myth of Sisyphus- core about it again. There's the absurd in the abstract outside of yourself, but it can be even harder to make peace with the absurd within. Like, there's um parts of yourself that are also unfathomable and unknowable and unquantifiable. And that I think is an important thing to welcome with open arms as well, especially when you're feeling kind of fucked up and ungrounded, because the the deeper you dig for certainty within yourself, the more you're going to find uncertainty. And the best way to make your life more tranquil in that way, I would argue, is to embrace that uncertainty and to stop digging, you know. Um that's tough because that's kind of unseal advice. Make peace with uncertainty. It's also kind of seal advice, it's kind of your complement sign as well. Because as the queen of good enough, this is the thing that they kind of unite on, the seal and the the not seal. They unite on knowing when to call it, frankly. And like letting there be lines between things and boundaries between things that you were like maybe not privy to. It's okay. Your complement specifically is all about practical boundaries. You're feeling like fucked up and ungrounded. But are you doing the bare minimum you need in order to keep your life more or less on track, you know? And just do that. Like, just do that. Just do okay and and let the rest kind of fade. You know what I mean? That's maybe not how you want to live forever, but when you're feeling ungrounded and fractured, it's totally acceptable and in fact a great marker of success to just do what you gotta do first. You know? Are you doing are you are you maintaining your most basic commitments to yourself and others? And if you are, great. That's actually all that's required of you right now, you know? That's seal advice. Your uh neighbors, seven and one, um, dog and spirit angel. Interesting combo, really weird combo, actually. Uh, clashing, actually. Like, because dog is so dog-like seal is very practical. The dog is all about where you feel basic justice and obligation in the body, checking in, you know, are you comfortable with who you are interacting with and the way that you're interacting with them? Is there any sensation in your body or spirit of like, you know, unjust, fucked up authority in the present moment? And just like paying attention to that and being like, you know, am I treating other people more or less fairly? Am I being treated more or less fairly? Like, think about a dog. Like, think about how dogs respond to sinister and abusive behavior versus how dogs respond to consistent and dependable behavior, you know. Um, angel spirit is like totally not on this earth, like totally another spirit angel was like kind of as a sign, um, a way for me to conceptualize a lot of my more idealistic feelings and proclivities, particularly those that are like beautiful and striking, but ultimately unsustainable. I guess to balance these two things, maybe the lesson is like, yeah, try to find a middle ground and sit in the middle between really big, beautiful ideals that you have about how everything should be and like what you should do with your life, you know? Um, what do you believe in? Like, what do you stand for? And then on the other hand, like, how have you treated yourself and others today? Are you able to like close your eyes and check in your body? Does your stomach hurt? Are your shoulders really tense? Like, are you able to square these two things into a livable middle ground? What do you think ought to be? And like, who do you think you ought to be? And then, like, what do you owe your body now, today, right now? Um, and how can you kind of make peace with these two things? Your latitudinal and longitudinal mirror signs. So double down on dog, really check in with your body, which I actually think makes sense and is like beautiful and true. So thanks, NPZ. I actually agree with that. Like when you're feeling ungrounded and shaky and sad, and just not like, you know, I guess you said you're not depressed, but like I kind of know what you mean. Like rotting like old computer, but not in a depressed way. You just feel out of touch, you feel like out of step, is what I'm hearing. Um, and I think dog is a really good headspace and sign to return to when you're feeling fucked up and out of step. Because what's cool about the dog is that not only is she like classic man's best friend, but she's also kind of like a blast from the past, evolutionarily speaking. It's like it's good to think about basic, basic stuff that you can always return to. Are you are you drinking water? Are you eating food in a normal enough way? Are you are you going for a walk? You might need floor time. You might need to get on the floor and lay on your back on a hard floor. You might need that. That wouldn't be weird. Like people think that's weird today. It's normal and okay to just do shit um when you feel fucked up and strange. It's okay to like regulate your your nervous system in ways that are like maybe seem silly. You know, you're not hurting anyone by having floor time, right? You know, it's okay to like do a stretch. This is dog advice. This is the dog head space. And then your uh latitude, flatitude, no, mirror is woman. Give a little thought to if you're letting your first person account of your life be clouded and fucked with by um stories about yourself. You know, just and again, you don't need to we don't need to eradicate the stories about ourselves, we don't need to try to convince anyone to see us differently, but just be aware are you letting your first person experience be clouded by secondary accounts of your experience? Because maybe that contributes to you feeling kind of ungrounded and rotting computer like. Good luck and thanks for the um ambient music recommendations.

Speaker 22:11

Okay. We've got Meta noia. Says, Hi, birthday is February 21st, so I believe I'm a mermaid. Let me actually just get um my document up and make sure that's true. Yes, you are correct. You are a mermaid. Great, perfect. I wanted to ask, are there certain colors associated with each sign? Your work has been a massive help to me. *mumble mumble* Wish me luck. Okay, thank you. Good luck. Um, yeah, there are colors for each sign. On Honey's website, I think if you do enough digging on machine page, you can get the vibe doc for internal use and see more aesthetic descriptions. Also, I know for a while we were putting out like cards with each of the science aesthetics on Instagram. And I think we're actually we haven't finished that out yet, but you know, I prefer to have them all in one place, which is why we have the internal vibe dock. Mermaid aesthetic is turquoise and indigo waves, scales glittering in the sun, royalty far from home, whimsical detachment, heavy meditation, fishnets and tridents, places that aren't places and places that are ethereal, sober, addictive, perpetually exotic, forever from somewhere else, somewhere beyond niads, live in love in a context of uncertainty. And don't we all? But that's of course the point of the NPZ, so you can't take that too far. Anyway, um, yeah, so you know, mermaids for me, very purple, blue, purple, green, blue, ocean colors. But there's something to the Niad that is um amenable to a childlike perspective. I kind of am thinking of like rainbow fish, children's books, like there's something about the mermaid that is not just aquatic, but like a child's perspective of aquatic colors. Like, think about what made you feel happy and awestruck about mermaids in the sea when you were little. That's kind of the colors that we're going for with mermaid. I'm also just gonna look down the list real fast and just tell you what I had in mind for the colors. So, number one, dog, for lack of a better term, like horse girl colors, like like pink and brown kind of situation. You have to understand, I divined many aspects of the NPZ while I was interacting with uh the companion species manifesto. So a lot of my like dog thoughts are colored by that. Two, we have our ocean colors. Um, three, spirit uh ghost. Spirit ghost is like whites and blues. Um, you could you could make a compelling case for it, also including like you know, a blue screen of death blue or like a black perhaps, like a nice kind of cyber spacey. I also see like a cyber green involved in the ghost for the seal. I think I put that the seal is also kind of horse girl colors, like natural colors, very much like grays, browns, uh blues and whites kind of things. You know, like a like a seal, like what you would expect. For no reason at all, I also just feel like a nice jammy purple belongs on that list. Um, and like perhaps like a nice jammy blue. I just I just think so. I don't have a good reason. Um five, the woman, is very much like red. Also, when I think of the woman, I just think of kind of like technicolor because of the whole thing about a tapestry of stories. You know what I mean? I also for some reason I'm really seeing gold with the woman. I think because there's something about gold and like the kind of forefrontness of it as a metal and as a valuable, and that speaks to me with regard to like the ego. Six, we have the machine. That's very green to me, and it's green because I like to think of the machine as being a cool middle ground symbolically between technology and nature. So I like for the machine to be represented with like you know, obviously the green of science and technology and like computers, hacker or whatever, but also obviously foliage and like symbiosis and ecosystems and shit. Seven, spirit, angel. Once again, we have our blues, our sky colors, our gossamers. I really see a flash of red in this kind of sin eater style. Um, very much in the lineage of sin eater. And then unseal, I see as being very much like void black, but then also like flashes of yellow. I don't know why. I like it to be kind of jarring bright colors in the dark.

Speaker 26:46

Um, okay, cool. That's an L, so Yalda. Um, hello NPZ. Just briefly to start with, I'm an enormous fan of the NPZ water dogs. Oh, thank you. Great. Yay, okay. I'm glad that those are like nice things, so I'm not just gonna like read complements to myself um on the show because I think that's but thank you. Um my question is this I've recently begun work on improving myself and my self-image after a lot of introspection. What insights can the NPZ provide into what I should do next? What is the most important thing to focus on? What is most important to focus on in the coming months? I was born on the 28th of June, and you have identified yourself as a seal. Let's just check the doc and see if that's correct. Yep, absolutely. All of June is in there, actually. Thanks, and good tides. Okay, so you are a seal. Uh good luck on your quest for self-improvement. That sounds cool. You know, as we've covered, seal is about good enough, which in the context of your journey for kind of self-improvement and self-image, I think is uh very apt, like feels correct. Because when you are trying to make changes to your identity, it is important to have a kind of intuitive sense of boundaries. You don't want to be doing so much work on yourself that you're like picking yourself apart and becoming kind of ironically narcissistic um and miserable. But you also don't wanna, you don't wanna pretend like you don't have any influence or control over yourself and your behavior, because of course you do. This is kind of like the central problem of the human experience as I see it. And so many people have written about this in so many ways from so many perspectives that it's like it's gonna sound trite no matter how I say it, but you know, whatever. Like the whole thing of being a person is basically that, like, there are things we have control over and can understand, and there are things we don't have control over and can't understand. And we can't know for sure where the boundary is between those two categories. I mean, it's even in that famous prayer, right? Like, uh, serenity to accept the things I can't change, courage to change the things I can, wisdom to know the difference, right? And the reason that we are constantly praying for such things and struggling with it is because we don't in advance know the difference. Frequently, you find out what you can change and what you can't change by trying to change shit, and you know, it's also fucked up because it's kind of like an inductive reasoning situation where like you don't know you can't know anything for sure. And yet you gotta just continue and prevail with the information that you have. And if you keep digging into anything, you'll find gaps. This is a long-winded way of saying this is what the seal is all about. This is a this that whole thing of like living in reality, even though um you don't have maybe like the models to explain reality that you would prefer, like you would like to be more sure about shit, but you're not. That's what the seal is all about. So, to tie this back to your question and your quest for self-improvement, I think your sign would advise you to accept imprecision and to kind of come at your journey from a place of curiosity and openness to stumbling and to kind of vibe it out as you go, but to not try too hard to have a perfect plan, you know. This seal is all about good enough. Good luck on your journey, don't pick yourself and your life apart, you know. Uh stick with practical goals and reasonable measures for how you'll call it when you've achieved that goal and you're ready to move on. And then your complement, obviously the unseal, is all about the flip side of this, which is that there's some things you can't know and there's some things you can't improve, and it's um a mark of health and maturity to be able to accept that. And then neighbors three and five, that is spirit, ghost, and woman. Cool combo, very cool. So the spirit ghost is all about consciousness from the ground up. Um, it's all about how you build yourself and your identity out of low-level things, for lack of a better term. So, like you have your environment and you have your body, and depending on how you want to draw the pyramid, you could swap those two things, but whatever. From from the perspective of your experience, I guess body goes on the bottom because like you only experience your environment through your body. You could flip it if you wanted to, and say, like, there's a model of the self where you can't exist without the prerequisites for your body. But the point is, like, you know, you want to change yourself, you want to change your life. Okay, start low. Look at your environment, look at your body, look at your relationship with your environment and with your body. Are there steps you can take there to make those things better and happier and healthier? And then, like, from there, you start stacking things up. And then the woman, the first person, as we've talked a lot about in this episode, is all about the self as a first person experience against a backdrop of other people's perceptions of you that are like not your own. So I guess if you were to put these things together, the advice for your self-improvement journey would be to look to your environment for cues about how to improve yourself and your life, but to not discount your internal experience in favor of looking to your environment. And then your latitude, flatitude, mirror is one the dog, and your longitude mirror is five, the woman. So we're doubling down on advice about listening to your inner voice. And to be clear, you know, as someone with uh mental illness with OCD, people are talking about listening to your inner voice like that's a clear thing. It's not. You have to, that's like a skill and something you have to decide how you interpret, what is your inner voice to you. I would say an underrated um skill mentally that I I like and would recommend is like listening to your inner voice in a non-verbal way. You don't need to like have a conversation with yourself and your mind. When I say like listen to your inner voice, I mean like check in with how you feel physically on the inside of your body. Like, does your tummy hurt? Is your chest feeling tight? And like pay attention to how you see the world. Not necessarily like the chatter that's going on in your brain, but just like when you look at things in your environment, try to make an effort to be present and to like, you know, pay some attention to what it means for you to be present, if that makes um sense. And I guess just in the context context of your question, the dog is important to this because the dog has to do with how you fit into your social order. As you think about how you want to behave and how you want to be, um, take stock of how other people behave and be, and how their behavior and their being makes you feel in your body. Like, when other people do things, think to yourself, what about that made me feel that way? You know, don't go crazy, don't spiral, but like let's say you're having like a conversation with a friend and you say, uh, I was planning to see this movie later, and they say something um kind of flippant and off-putting that makes you feel like your thing was stupid. Just be like, huh. I don't f I don't fucking care for that, you know. You don't have to do anything about it, you don't have to tell them, but it's good to just like think to yourself, like, I didn't like that. And then maybe, maybe when you have some time you can reflect and be like, I don't really want to act like that. Like, I don't want to really talk to people. I want to try to make an effort to talk to people in a way that makes them feel, um, like respected and like they're excited to share things with me. And what this person said made me feel kind of like bummed out and shut down, and I didn't care for that. It felt like they were trying to dunk on me, and that made the dog part of me feel dunked on, and I didn't fucking care for that, you know. That's good, that's good to like keep track of. And then on the flip side, like maybe, you know, you'll be walking down the street with your friends, and you'll realize that their body language, like they're taking care to not leave you out of the group, and you'll you'll feel like, you know, warm and fuzzy, and you'll be like, I like that. I like that this person made an effort to make me feel included, you know. They positioned themselves in a way where I didn't have to hang out on the fringe of the group, they like made room for me physically, and that that was nice. I liked that. I want to be someone who makes room for people in the group, you know. I think that's like a good morally neutral way to go about self-improvement without making yourself feel crazy and bummed out. And that is um that is how I would speak for the NPZ on this topic.

Speaker 35:53

Abby, she/her. Hello NPZ, I'm finishing high school next year. I want to go to college, have a nice job, and a family. It feels like a good plan, but I'm still scared of growing up, of not achieving any of these things, and ending up alone. I'm scared because I don't know what the future holds for me, and even though I'm almost an adult, I still feel like a confused kid. You're finishing high school next year. You're almost an adult? Okay. First of all, finishing high school, you're only an adult legally. You're not it's spiritually, you will still feel like a kid. That's totally normal. Anyway, um any advice on how to not freak out about growing up in the future? Love your work, Penny. Oh, thank you. Um, okay, cool. So you're the spirit angel. Let's start there. Um, your sign, spirit angel, is all about big, overwhelming ideas and inspiration and the tension between those big feelings and dreams that like feel divine and outside the self, and the fact that in order to make them real, you have to bring them down to earth and contaminate them and kind of like fuck them up a little bit. Because perfection doesn't exist in reality. So as you pursue it, you change it, and it's like hard to follow your dreams if you can't make peace with that. I would argue it's impossible to follow your dreams if you can't make peace with that. So you have you want to go to college, have a nice job and a family, it feels like a good plan, but you're scared of growing up, you're scared of not achieving these things, you're scared of ending up alone. This is actually like this fits really well with your sign because you have these big dreams for the future, and your your anxiety about them is making it tough for you to conceive of practical steps to reach your dreams. Because your dreams feel so big and perfect and scary that it doesn't really square with your day-to-day. So I guess there's kind of two sides of this advice from the Spirit Angel. Um cracking my jaw because all my bones crack because I'm a creature. Um so the first bit of advice here is yeah, to make peace with the process of bringing your big abstract ideals into reality. But this is gonna be a bummer, but also kind of beautiful, so have faith. Um, the second bit of advice is that you're not gonna learn this the first time. You're going to go through this process of having big dreams that are divine and trying to reach them and not realizing that you actually need to bring them down to earth. This is like a thing that I think we all go through again and again. Like the NPZ would preach this. Like, I can tell you that perfection doesn't exist in reality, and that you are going to have to contaminate your divine virtues in order to make them real, and you can hear it, but you're gonna just have to learn it through experience, and it's gonna be hard, but it's like it's a good kind of hard because that's like life. You're gonna, you're gonna figure it out. Like, it's not like you have to work on figuring it out. You're going to, and it's gonna suck, and that's okay, that's beautiful. You have this vision for your future, it's not gonna happen exactly the way you envision it, it never does, and that's that's not because you're gonna do anything wrong. That's like perfect. Like, that's the real version of perfect, is that it's not gonna happen the way you think it is. So I guess there's like there's angel advice for you, which is to uh make peace with contaminating the divine, but then there's like meta advice, which is it's okay that you're not gonna believe this the first like however many times it happens to you. It's okay that you're not gonna take the advice right away. And that's not a comment on you. I don't, you know, I'm sure, I'm sure you're very receptive to divine advice. It doesn't matter, because this is like the human experience. You're not gonna I f best I can tell as a uh 25-year-old with very little time on this earth under my belt, is that you just keep learning the same shit again and again. Like that's that's what you do, that's what it is to be a person, best I can tell. Maybe it changes drastically in the next few quarters of my life, but as far as I can tell, that's what happens. So that's that's your two levels of advice from the angel. Let me sip my uh soda real quick. Fuck yeah. Okay. Um radical. Complement, spirit ghost, once again, consciousness from the ground up. This is kind of the antidote to your quandary, your issue here. You're having all this anxiety, how do you make your dreams real? Well, start low. What can you do today to make the life that you want more accessible? You can always start low. You can always start. Are you taking care of your body? Are you taking care of your environment? Are you taking care of your most basic obligations to yourself and others? That's a surefire way to always stay, like quote unquote, on track, because far as the NPZ can tell, there's no dream you have for yourself where those things aren't gonna be included. So you can always start there. Your neighbors, machine, and unseal, badass combo. Cool. Machine always gives more or less the same advice, it's just a matter of like practicing how you apply it. But think about your dreams for yourself, think about your goals, put them into parameters that you can kind of understand, and then think about it from a perspective that is like morally and identity neutral. If if you weren't yourself, what would you recommend to a person in your situation? You know? If you thought about your dreams from a mechanical perspective, like take some of the heat out of it, take some of the first person anxiety out of it. What would make your goals more likely? And then that's balanced against the unsealed, which is that there are things that you can't fathom, let alone control, and we'd all be happier to make peace with that. I do like that actually. That is a good, like, balanced set of advice from the NPZ. Like, think through your goals in a practical way, and also accept that there are magical forces in the machine that we fundamentally can't conceive of, and you just gotta you we take those, you know. And then your mirrors are two and six, so doubling down on the machine, focus on the things we have some influence over. And the mermaid, we haven't seen the mermaid a lot today. That's interesting. Mermaid advice is always to sit in the middle, make peace with the grey, you know, classic ERP wisdom. Um, in your case, particularly, I think, yeah, I think this is important too, and this also squares with what we were talking about with the ghost. Like, there's all these big decisions before you, um, some of which you have a lot of control over, others you don't. Some decisions you won't have control over, but someday you will. But if you think of your life as like all these branching nodes before you, or I guess that's not really how that works, but like branches um with nodes on the end, you know, you wanna you have all these choices and there's all these different points that you could arrive at depending on the choices, you know. Remember that that's that's always gonna be true. That will literally never not be the case. You will always be between two worlds because that's how that's how we live. That's like how you go through life. You always have options until until your very last moment you have all these choices before you. So you have to take some time to make the experience of sitting between two choices pleasant because you'll always live there. You'll always live between at least two options. To borrow the metaphor that I think we talked about in the early days of the NPZ, you know, the mermaid lives on a rock in the sun between the land and the sea. She needs to make that rock a comfortable home, or she's not gonna be happy in life because you're always In a way, you're always on a rock between the sand and the sea. There's like a myth in anxiety world that if you could just make a choice, then it would all be okay. That's not true. There will always be choices you haven't made yet. There will always be things you're not sure about. You have to make a home for yourself in being unsure. That's that is like how you make it all bearable. Not by making the choice quickly, but by making peace with not always making the choice, you know? Or not always having the answer or whatever you want to say. And also, finishing high school next year. You're so you're so young. So many of my listeners, you guys are so young. Like good things are gonna happen to you that you can't even fathom yet. So don't don't stress too much about the growing up of it all. Um, okay, great. You know what? I'm just gonna do all the ones in my inbox because you know, this'll be a long episode. It's fine. It'll be fun.

Speaker 45:02

Pixie Mai. Cool. My birthday is August 23rd. I don't know why I'm mumbling it, like you guys don't want to hear the question. Sorry. My birthday is August 23rd. I'm 16 and I'm the system/ machine. I go by she/they pronouns. For my question. I have this friend, and she used to be really nice, but she doesn't really hang out with me that much anymore. Is there anything I can do to get her to talk to me? Okay, interesting. That's just my knuckles cracking because I'm a monster. Okay, let's check your chart. So, as the machine, we try to take the heat and the first person anxiety out of our situation. So you try to think about your situation from a neutral perspective outside of yourself or anyone else. So if you weren't yourself, how could you make your chosen outcome more likely? If you weren't you and she weren't her, and you just thought, like, how could a person in such a situation make it likely that another person playing this other role in the situation would talk to the first person? Like, you know, you can you can think about it that way and come up with a way to make this conversation that you want to have more likely. Um, and that might be where you want to leave it. If if all you want is to get a conversation with this um kind of friend, that's a reasonable way to take the NPZ advice and go about it. But it's also worth remembering that you define the quote unquote good outcome of the machine like simulation. So, like, is it really true that you just want her to talk to you? Or is there something else identifiable that you want? Do you want a specific conversation? Do you want to ask specific questions? Is it really just that you're missing her company? Like, try to get a little more specific with yourself about what your goals are, and that'll make it easier for you to make it more likely that you achieve them. Your complement is to the mermaid. We we just talked about the mermaid. Mermaid, as always, gives the advice to sit in the middle, you know, before you embark on whatever journey you're going to embark on to achieve this goal in this particular relationship. Um, try to make peace with the fact that you don't know if it'll work or not and you don't know for sure what's best. Like, like when you pick a goal for your machine analysis of the situation. You can't know in advance what the right goal is. You just you do the best with what you've got. So try to make some peace with your uncertainty in the situation. And also the mermaid always has this kind of backup advice that she offers as an NPZ sign, which is that anxiety, vulnerability, being caught between worlds, these are sources of shame. But what the mermaid kind of realizes as part of her story and her journey is that that shame actually makes her more social and more relatable, not less. Which I think is like a beautiful and true message in a lot of aspects of life. That like you think that feeling out of place makes it harder for you to connect with other people, but in fact it makes it easier because most people are very familiar with the feeling of feeling out of place and respond to that kind of empathetic connection. Okay, great. And then we have your neighbors, woman and spirit angel. That's interesting. I wonder what the woman has to say about your situation. I guess the way that I would read this balance here is to start with the spirit angel. So the spirit angel, all about these big ideals, notions of perfection that kind of like hover in the ether that we can't really access from reality without changing them. And then on the other hand, we have the first person, where we're talking about your kind of intuition and your inner voice and your first person experience against a backdrop of basically like bullshit, like other stories that are clouding your ability to hear your inner voice. But what do they have to say about you? You know what? The way that I would read this balance is I would say, like, I would say that this is your neighbors here, your neighboring signs are the message that I would read here is like to exercise extreme caution about like stories and the narratives around this situation. Like, I think that this combo of spirit angel and woman are kind of warning you not to create a whole story about yourself or this friend that you've had. And kind of paired with your complement, I would say that your whole chart here warns against being uncomfortable with not knowing and trying to decide on a story about what's going on. Because the truth is you don't know for sure what's going on in this other person's mind and life, and you don't know for sure what's best and like what should happen. But it sounds like you miss her and you would like to talk to her, either about what happened or just in general, because you miss her company, and that's enough. Like that's enough to proceed. Like it's enough to try to connect and to bridge this gap without creating a whole narrative about why you guys stopped talking or why you should. Maybe that's what it is. Maybe this chart is kind of like a warning against a moral read of what's going on here. And I kind of I want to stand with that actually because one of your mirrors here is the dog. So this is a tough one. This is a tough one because you have a really practical question and the NPZ is so abstract. But I think that what you're getting here, the message that you're getting from the Zodiac this time, is to trust your gut and speak from the heart and do your best not to spiral or project about the situation. If you choose to have a conversation with this girl and if she chooses to talk to you, like if you guys end up talking again, try to keep the conversation and the interactions centered around what you want in the moment and not trying to figure out the past or the future, if that makes sense. You don't need to hash everything out, you don't need to figure everything out. You just, if you're gonna continue to have each other in each other's lives, do it in the moment and center it around a shared present desire for connection. That's how I would read this. But but yeah, I'm curious how this will go. So, you know, if you listen to this, keep me posted. And any of you, yeah, if if any of you want to do like an update on your situation, just you know, send an email back into the NPZ Gmail and um make sure to let me know that I can read it on the show if you want it to appear on the show.

Speaker 52:02

Okay, last one. Hey, I'm a nerve clump and I am 16. My pronouns are she/her, and I am a machine. I recently got a girlfriend, she is a seal. God knows if that matters. And I love her endlessly, but she has been doing worse ever since we got together. This type of high school drama is confusing, so sorry if it doesn't make sense. I'll try to simplify this as much as possible. Okay, I'm locking in. Uh, partially because of my actions, our friend group split, and now so now my girlfriend lost her friends and hangs out with me and my friend J. They are a spirit angel. Again, I don't know if that matters. Okay, we'll come back to that if it matters. The thing is, she has a lot of fights with J, and there's always tension between them. And honestly, even though I have known J for a while, they've hurt me to a point where I kind of dislike them sometimes too. Though I still don't want to cut them off. Okay, just to recap, you have this girlfriend, you love her very much, your friend group split up, your girlfriend's friends are no longer really in the gang. She hangs out with you and your friend J, but there's a little bit of weird beef with J and your girlfriend's fighting with J all the time. Okay. I have been trying to look for solutions, but I'm at a loss. All I ever think about is how awful and cruel I am, how I ruined my girlfriend's life and destroyed the friend group. How I am awful for still being friends with J, even though I dislike them. I need to be strong, clean up the mess I made, but my guilt and sorrow is making it really hard. I want to be there for my girlfriend, but every time she tells me about how she feels and how much her life is worsened, I feel this flood of guilt and I say some stupid, unhelpful shit, overly apologizing, telling her she should be mad at me or yell at me, weird stuff like that, which I know is shitty of me. Always self-pity has worn her down. Does the NPZ have any advice for me here how I should think about this, how I should solve this? Thanks a bunch in advance. Hope this is understandable. Okay. First and foremost, NPZ aside, I have to say, as the resident 25-year-old in this cyberspace, high school shit sucks and it's all gonna blow over. Like, I do just have to say, as you're grown up in this moment, that um a lot of this is like gonna turn out to not be so big a deal in less time than you think. And you might be sick of people telling you that. And I know that like just because it's gonna be okay later doesn't mean that it doesn't matter now. Um, and I know that our relationships as youths affect us and are important, not trying to discount any of that. But I do just feel like every time I get a message from like a high schooler being like, my life is fucking falling apart. I fucked it all up. I I do just have to say, like, you didn't fuck it all up. You're a kid, you guys are kids. It's okay, you know. Um, okay. But let's consult your chart. Let's see. And I also I do understand what you're saying here, where it's like you're feeling overwhelmed by guilt, and you're feeling that your guilt is causing you to behave in a way that is also not in line with how you would like to be acting. That happens, and I think it is good to recognize that. Because regardless of whether or not your actions are actually you might be acting normal and fine. It doesn't matter because what still is a problem is that you are not acting the way you want to because you're being kind of coerced by your own guilt, and that's a that's a problem worth solving regardless of the rest of it. Just because it's important to develop um some level of agency in the face of discomfort. Speaking from experience. Speaking from experience with OCD. Anyway, okay, let's look at your chart. Man, being 16 is so hard. It's so hard to be a teenager. It really is. It's so crazy. Okay, alright. You're a machine, you're right here on the NPZ. Okay, so we've covered this already, but machine wisdom is to think about your situation. Think about it as if it were kind of a model or a simulation, define your goals, and think about how if you weren't carrying the baggage and the weight of being yourself in the situation, if you were thinking about it more neutrally, how would you make your goals more likely to occur? So, in your situation, I think it would be really helpful for you to identify what your goals actually are. Like, maybe take some time and journal and write what do you want? You have this girlfriend you love, that's great, that rules, you know. Um, you've got some drama going on in your friend group, but like, what do you want? What are your goals? Or do you want to foster your relationships? Do you want to have as many friends as possible, or do you want to have like really ride or die friends, even at the exclusion perhaps, of volume of friends? Do you want to be really social and popular, or do you want to kind of whittle down your friend group to a group that you really feel comfortable around and focus on other things? Are you concerned about school? Are you concerned about your family? Are you concerned about your mental health? Are you concerned about your physical health? Like, what in your life is really important to you? And how much time and energy do you really realistically have? And how does the rest of this fit into that? Like, um, and with your girlfriend, I mean, what are your goals with your girlfriend? Like, what do you want out of the relationship that you're in? What what would it look like if it were really perfect? Like, do you want it to be basically the way that it is, but you just don't like that you're feeling so guilty? Or are there changes you're hoping to make to the relationship? With your friendships, I think it's also important to spend a little time and think about what your goals actually are. Like, and and to really put guilt aside. The way that the machine works, there's no room for guilt in the simulation. There's no room for guilt or shame in the model, except insofar as they are static, unchangeable effects on your behavior. Like, here's the role that guilt and shame can play in the machine account of your situation. You can say, a character in the machine account of my situation is burdened by guilt, and it causes them to behave less socially and more reserved when they are experiencing that emotion. That is like a true neutral fact. What you can't say at all in the machine account of the situation is this person deserves to feel guilty. That's not, that doesn't exist in machine world. So for the purpose of this exercise, you leave that out. It doesn't matter if you did anything wrong or if you deserve to feel bad. Like, that's not information in this particular um perspective. Um, so so like what do you want? You might say like what you want is like for everyone to get along and for you to be a good person. And that might be true, but if if you say that, I would challenge you to think about if what you actually want is to be free from feelings of um misery and anxiety, which is weirdly a more achievable goal, I would argue, or at least like healthier in the long run. Because you can't make everyone like you, and that isn't a definable or serious goal. You can't make anyone like you. You can make it more likely that people will like you, but some of the people that you're hanging out with in high school might be not very nice, and that's why they're not being very friendly to you. So I don't even know if you want to assign that as your goal. You know what I mean? Some people kind of suck. Um, or maybe, you know, maybe look, I don't know the drama in your friend group, and high school is a mess, and no one is acting their best in high school. No one's acting their best in college. Rarely are people acting their best, actually, now that I think about it. Um, but you're saying because of your actions, your friend group split. Now your girlfriend lost her friend, hangs out with you and your friend J. Hmm. Alright, well, we'll get to that with the rest of your chart. But for the machine analysis, let's just I feel that your your claim here that your actions are the cause of all of this angst is doing a lot of heavy lifting and putting a lot of weight on your situation. And per your sign, it's important to at least set that aside for a moment and conceive of what your goals are, regardless of that feeling of guilt. Because you might feel guilty and maybe you maybe you did do something that you regret and would like to not repeat or would like to make some kind of amends for in the future. But the fact that you did something that you're not happy with doesn't change the principles of the machine, which is that you're one person with some amount of agency, and you have things that you want, and you have limited but present control over how you act to make your goals more likely. Like those principles of how the machine, the spiritual machine works, um, the system works. That's true, regardless of whether or not you did something nasty at some point and are sad about it. You know what I mean? So try to separate those things. It's really easy in anxiety world to slip into this thing of like, I did something bad, so I never deserve to get what I want. And you can spend a lot of time waffling on whether or not that's true. But more important than whether or not it's true is that it's irrelevant. Um it's irrelevant whether or not you deserve to pursue your goals, because in reality, you have dreams and you have some amount of agency to make them more likely to come true. Regardless of whether, you know, I deserve to suffer. Like, okay, but you know, it's like it's like if I'm uh if I am like thirsty right now and I would like a glass of water. Like maybe I did something really bad in my life where like I don't deserve to get what I want. But realistically, I can stand up and cross the room and go to the sink and get myself a glass of water, you know. And if I think about the world from a machine perspective, I'm probably going to be a kinder person to myself and to my community if I'm not thirsty and wrathful. So so if my stated goals are to not be thirsty and wrathful, and also to be a kind member of my community, it just makes sense mechanically for me to get out of my chair and cross the room and get myself a glass of water. And sitting and thinking, like, oh, I deserve to suffer is just like not really conducive to that. You know what I mean? That's why it's important to have your goals thought about to some degree, because um, be a perfect person isn't really a goal in machine world. Treat my girlfriend nicely is a goal. That's something that you could break down into quantifiable steps. And also like get a glass of water is a goal. That's that's a tangible idea. Be perfect, not really tangible, unless you break it down into tangible steps, and then you have to define what that means to you. So that's what anyway, sorry, that's like kind of a tangent, but that's where I would start. Um and then your complement, mermaid, once again, sitting in the middle, making peace with uncertainty, um, making a home for yourself on the rock in the sun between two equally enticing and equally difficult options. You know, the mysteries of the universe, what else is new? Your neighbors, five and seven. I think I think the last person, or maybe the one one before that we talked through, also had the same neighbors. And it is a challenging combo, five and seven. Because five is so anti-idealistic, and seven is so idealistic, Angel is so all about perfect visions and desires and like images of the divine that haunt you. And then five is so about the opposite of that. Five is so about your inner voice and your first person experience, regardless of what other people are seeing in you. And I think, I mean, that's if you're curious, that's what you're that's your balance. That's what your neighbors are recommending to you, is finding a balance between those two things. Which I think is I don't know if I see that as like tangible advice for you. I do see it as like kind of a microcosm of what you're going through in your nightmare of high school drama. You are. That just is where you are. You are trapped between perfect ideals of how you should be behaving and a first-person account of your experience that is like not perfectly articulable to anyone else. Um, your mirrors, seven and three, the twin spirits. And I think the person we talked to before is also mirrored by the twin spirits, and I forgot to talk about it. But once again, um, advice about consciousness and divinity, just urging you to pay attention to how you construct yourself and your life, and to try to do so responsibly and with some level of self-compassion. You know, you're having a lot of thoughts and questions in your situation about what you should do in this nightmare drama? What's the perfect stance to take? You know, consider asking yourself other questions like are you drinking water? Are you eating in a normal way? Are you moving your body? Or are you rotting? Are you are you going on walks? You know, how what's your environment like? Is it is it okay, or is it like not so okay? Because your higher consciousness is made up of these other levels. So there's that. But now, just because I'm curious, let's take a look and see what your friend's charts look like. Oh, your girlfriend is a seal, queen of good enough. Interesting, interesting. Machine and seal combo. Okay. And then this other person, J, is a spirit angel. That's interesting. Volatile. A volatile combo. You know, and I again this is kind of like astrology nonsense, so like I don't wanna speak too much to this situation because obviously I don't know these people and I I don't want to weigh in specifically, but I will say, just based on the signs that you've given me for your girlfriend and also your guys' friend J, there are mirrors, which is interesting. And here's some here's some just interesting things about the charts that you've given me. Which, once again, the point of the NPZ is to kind of let chance give you some symbols to work with so you can think things through. It's not I'm not trying to tell you what's true, I'm just trying to give you some fun perspectives to think about so that you can get some fresh takes on what you're going through. But this is kind of amusing to me just looking at this because you say J is a spirit angel, your girlfriend's a seal. Um, yeah, they're mirrors of each other, but in your chart, you have no relation to the seal. Whereas the spirit angel, J's sign, is both a neighbor to you and a mirror. So your chart is like very tied up in J's sign, but the seal, your girlfriend's sign, if I'm reading this correctly, is one of the only two signs you have no relation to. It's interesting. It's like there's some NPZ distance between you and your girlfriend's position. Um, whereas there's a lot of NPZ familiarity between you and this person, J. Very, very interesting to me. And then also interesting that, like, you know, the spirit angel is once again, like so so steeped in perfectionism, so volatile, so idealistic, so obsessed with divinity. Um, and such a tragedy in herself, the angel, because she loves things, she loves her divine values so much that she can't participate in them. And in order to participate in them, she has to learn how to be more humble in that way. And then the seal is so practical. The seal is all about good enough. The seal is all about like accepting the gray areas of nature, and also about like, you know, the seal and the woman are both described by other people, but the woman is kind of making peace with that, whereas the seal is kind of ambivalent. The seal doesn't need to make peace with being described because she's just, she's, she's just a creature. She's cool with it. She's not bothered by that in the first place, so there's really nothing to overcome. I actually feel like the seal is maybe one of the only signs in the entire zodiac who doesn't have kind of an arc or a story about how she's making peace with herself, except for maybe the unseal. These are like the only two signs that are kind of naturally neutral about their their own identities. I don't know. Strange. Strange to think about. Um, okay. But just to go back to your actual question and like look at it with my normal brain and not my NPZ brain. Well, I guess this is still my NPZ brain, but there's a lot of moralizing and guilt and um a sense that you have to do something about all of this. But you've also identified here that your floods of guilt is uh causing you to act in ways that you're not happy with in your relationship. So I think I think any sign in the NPZ cautions us against tying ourselves in knots. And your complement is the mermaid. So I think it m maybe there's some degree of like letting go of making a decision. Like maybe there maybe you just don't actually need to do anything for a while. You're thinking of all these choices. Do you deserve to be happier? Do you deserve to suffer? Should you do something about J? Should you not? You know, there's all these things you should do, but you're too much of a coward. Maybe you're not. Maybe it's not actually obvious what the right thing to do is, you know? Maybe that's not information that's available to you right now, and it's totally fine and normal to just wait until you feel confident about how to proceed. Sometimes it's okay to do nothing, you know? And when you're doing nothing, you're actually doing something. Like you can decide to not decide about a lot of this and to just hang out with people that are important to you, you know? I would say that that's NPZ adjacent advice. But anyway. Yeah, actually, you know what? How should I solve this? You have in your email here, how should I solve this? Maybe you can't solve this, maybe there's nothing to solve. And I don't know that, right? I don't know, I don't know your deal. But I do think that before you can decide how to solve this, you should try trying to make peace with the idea that maybe there is nothing to solve. Because if you're feeling anxious and hazed and guilty and freaked out, um, and you're scrambling to solve things, you're not making decisions with your whole self. You're kind of like trying to scramble and avoid feeling icky. Whereas if you just like if you made some peace with the possibility that there's nothing to solve and let some of the anxiety move through you on its own, maybe later you would return to some of these questions um with a little more clarity and a little less urgency, you know, and also you wouldn't be feeling so terrible, which is like also a nice aside. Because it sucks to feel terrible. It sucks to feel terrible and it makes us feel rushed, and we make weird decisions, and later we look back and we go, why did I do that? Why did I act like that? You know? That's that's my advice. And obviously, I I you know I don't want any of you to um feel profound cosmic shame and suffering. That's like my personal stance, is that I I would be really surprised if you guys were doing things where it's like you really deserve to be like crime and punishment style wallowing in your regret. I would be really shocked um if you guys did something where that's warranted. I'm I kind of don't know what such a thing would be. But important to the NPZ and to the mermaid and the machine specifically is that no one can let you off the hook for your guilt. You have to make peace with your own anxiety, um, regardless of what other people think about your actions, you know. Anyway, that's kind of a tangent.

Speaker 1:13:11

But okay, that's the last one in this batch. I am going to come back to this, edit it, put it out there, and then and then we'll see. We'll see if you guys like it and if you want me to start doing this show. I'm thinking I could do this as often as like well, I don't even know. But I was gonna say maybe like monthly. Um, and right now. Oh shit, yeah. What season is it now? February 3rd when I'm recording this. Oh, so it's still dog season. Perfect, yeah. So it's the first season of the month (I meant year). Dog season, a good time to think about how justice and injustice feel in the body, and a good time to think about your friends and how you're treating them and how they're treating you, and if you're, you know, honoring your animal body. Are you if you were your own pet, would you be being a good pet owner? How can you improve that? You know what I mean? Dog season. Woof woof, am I right? Um, great. Okay. Thanks for listening. Talk soon. Bye.