Yeeted Rivalry

Got a Wet Leg? Sounds like a montage problem.

Liz + Nat Season 1 Episode 10

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0:00 | 57:02

Welcome back, Yeeters!

We are officially onto EPISODE TWO of Heated Rivalry. Kicking it off with the Wet Leg montage. Let's watch these idiots pretend not to like each other for two whole years and yap about it.


Fic Recs:

Liz - 

The MILF Theory (And Why the Internet Got It Wrong) by pucksandpower

https://archiveofourown.org/works/76676306

Nat - 

The Shopping List by wonderlessinviolet

https://archiveofourown.org/works/80813431




Text Us!

SPEAKER_02

Hello everyone. Welcome back. You have found us again. We are yeeted rivalry. Natalie is here and Liz is here. Say hi to Niza. Hello, everyone. Hi. How are you? Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. We are so excited to be here.

SPEAKER_04

Good evening, if you're listening to this in the evening.

SPEAKER_02

For us, it is Sunday, March 8th. So we are going to say happy birthday to Kit Connor, who plays Nick Nelson and Heartstopper, if you do not know.

SPEAKER_04

And I have worn my true rugby shirt in honor of Kit Connor's birthday.

unknown

Nice.

SPEAKER_04

Bless his bisexual representation heart.

SPEAKER_02

Poor baby, you shouldn't have had to do that, but no kidding.

SPEAKER_04

Ugh. Stop demanding things of people. No shit. We'll get to that one later. We will definitely be covering that. Don't start. Especially children. Okay. Thank you. Good night. Also, we have bracket, what did you call it before? Bracket. Bracket chat. I don't know. I don't know. You called it something cute. And I thought it was a good one. But for those of you who are invested in the bracket that we're doing for the vocal stems, we are making good progress. We are into the semifinals, the sweet 16, if you will. So keep your votes coming. And I and by all means keep, I understand that it's a struggle. I mean, yes, there have been some upsets. There have been some wicked upsets. Sorry, had to go full boston on that one. But you know, keep voting. And when the championship around comes, we will be releasing bracket two. So hopefully some other favorites have shown up in bracket two. And then we will have the ultimate contest between the two winners. So stick around. Yeah, maybe we can do this every March. Ooh. Any repeat winners. I love that. Yeah. Are you still are you still going to be talking to me next March? I hope so. I hope you're still talking to me next March. Aw, that was romantical.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, puppy. Puppy, I love you so much. Love me. I just want, I just want to be loved.

SPEAKER_04

All right. You goober. What was your most recent reheat?

SPEAKER_02

Oh my most recent reheat is I watched the entire show with my mother-in-law.

SPEAKER_04

The play by play. If anyone missed Natalie's updates of her mother-in-law's reaction.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, it wasn't a full play play-by-play, but it was but still.

SPEAKER_04

There was some there were some absolute gems in there of her reactions.

SPEAKER_02

She was great.

SPEAKER_04

Yes. Also, I need someone to shout out to me because my mother-in-law could never I oh I loved it.

SPEAKER_02

We watched the first three episodes uh the night before, and then in the morning she was just like, whenever you're ready to watch the other, oh my god, that's so cute. And I was like, Why is that a right now?

SPEAKER_04

Right now. Now works for me. Let's do this thing.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god, that's so sweet. So it was uh it was really lovely. I think my favorite part was uh um, I don't think I posted about this, but it was when uh David finds them in episode six. Spoiler alert. Don't want to ruin the show for anyone. But it happened and she was like, I thought you said I thought you said something like this wasn't gonna happen. And I just didn't say anything. Right, right. It's just like just there's like 10 minutes left in the episode. Yeah, just you're fine, it's gonna work it's gonna be fine. I do I think the only thing I said was it's romance. Remember, you're fine. You read it, you know it.

SPEAKER_04

Happily ever after.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, this is you're you're gonna be taken care of by my mother-in-law. Really quick before we get to your reheat.

SPEAKER_04

No, go.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, all the books.

SPEAKER_04

Oh my god. And I learned just before we started recording this that Natalie has read Heated Rivalry and the Long Game. She hasn't read the other books. And when I tell you the other ones are so good, I'm so excited.

SPEAKER_02

I know that um Irina was like always like live posting when she was reading like role model and stuff. So I'm very excited to uh to do that and be able to post about that.

SPEAKER_04

Be very careful when you say Irina's name. You know how she gets.

unknown

Irina. Good morning. How are you doing? Good morning, Irina.

SPEAKER_04

Oh well. I hope you're not cooking anything right now.

SPEAKER_02

I think she is. I hope she's learned by now not to cook while she's listening to us.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, just don't. Um, but I would like to know spoiler-free from anybody if you feel like Nat needs to be prepared for anything. I will say that mine of of the remaining ones that you have, I'm quite partial to role model because Harris. And I can't I can't wait for you to meet Harris and then all of a sudden stop calling me Boston Lizzie, and then you're just gonna call me Harris for like the rest of days.

SPEAKER_02

Nope. Not gonna happen.

SPEAKER_04

No, is is there a bug? Natalie is searching for something. Is something flying around?

SPEAKER_02

No, there was there was like a like a sound, but I guess it's gone now.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, I'm fine. All right, all right, and she's back. So my most recent reheat is this morning I had to rewatch the montage that we are going to cover because in the shower I was like, wait a minute, and something occurred to me, which we'll get to. So I did right before this. I have to rewatch the montage and see if I was on to something. I think I might be. Stay tuned. I know, suspense is building. I like that. Just for you, baby. Just for you.

SPEAKER_01

I like it. That's okay.

SPEAKER_04

All right, what do we got next? Are we ready to dive in? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Let's go. Let's do it.

SPEAKER_04

All right, baby. So the song choice. I mean Do we need a moment for the song choice?

SPEAKER_02

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_04

Oh because how many times have I played this song? How tired are my children of this song? I don't care. Nope.

SPEAKER_02

It really I love it too because I I knew of wet leg, uh, but I wasn't really like I had never really listened much to them. But my friend, that is the reason why I even watched the show at all. Shout out to you, Ariel. Nice to see you. Thank you. Um, she loves wet leg. She's a fucking huge fan of them. So when we were live texting while I was watching it, that started, and I was like, Oh my god, it's your favorite band. So I got I like got so excited for her that it was like her favorite song. And then I after listening to the song, I was just like, Oh, okay, this song is like absolutely excellent. Yeah, oh my god. And now it's like one of my main like rotations for the song.

SPEAKER_04

So it's getting like kind of anthem level notoriety. Yep, I feel like it comes on, like you know, they're a handful. I feel like at this point, any song comes on from the soundtrack and people are like, oh my god. But this one in particular, this one and I feel like my moon, my man are very like you just immediately get the visuals.

SPEAKER_02

Well, yeah, and the montages just, you know, they they're so close to everybody's heart, I feel like, because it's you know, we're we're cutting through a whole bunch of time.

SPEAKER_04

So I do love, I feel like the expert level time jump and covering a bunch of this time is there is a visual, and I need somebody to tell me who had it. I will try to look for it on threads, but someone did like an infographic of the time jumps and the scenes, and it was beautiful. I mean, aside from being very informative, as it should be, it was just lovely, like a nice like flow chart. And for those of us who are visual learners, it was very helpful. And I imagine that they would have to do that in production or something to map out what things were being covered. So the first, so all the calling cards of this, by the way, is it fucking called a calling card? Or am I just making that up?

unknown

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02

I feel like if you know, please tell us.

SPEAKER_04

Please tell me because I don't I'm making things up. Um, so they're all centered. This is one of my very important critical things I'm keeping track of. So they're all centered and it varies. Some of them are on black background, some of them have the actual scene. This first one is this first one, Montreal.

SPEAKER_02

Um running around the corner, fully like full-on, long sleeves, hizzle socks. Yeah, not wearing any fucking Reeboks. What are they?

SPEAKER_04

No, dude.

SPEAKER_02

Like new balances.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. I feel like he's wearing a hoodie.

SPEAKER_02

Hoodie full on, long shorts. They're like baggy shorts.

SPEAKER_04

But my favorite the headphones. The like over it just the security of the like being outside, noise canceling, the and it's I don't think you ever see him other than the gym scene from the first episode. Right. You don't really see him with earbuds, which is I feel like it look can be a sensory thing for some people because having things in your ears like a weird thing. But I just love that Pookie Bear is out for a run. Maybe it's just a warm-up, but he's got these like honking.

SPEAKER_02

They're not that big.

SPEAKER_04

They're big for running. I am sorry. I'm not a runner.

SPEAKER_02

For running, I guess, but you have to also think about what the time of the time it was. Like, sure, wasn't it around the time when like the like beats by Dre headphones were coming out? And like that thing was like where you were like you had you got like the cool over-ear headphones, and it was like the thing.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I feel like I feel like it was the equivalent of like carrying around a boom box back in the day. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

It's like I always try to remember that when I see something, and I'm just like, what the okay, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_04

It was it was 2011. Yeah, so we will accept it. But the the juxtaposition of him and his his headphones, and then you see Ilya running in front of the building that has now become well.

SPEAKER_02

First, you see him run through the trees, which I think is is cute because it's like he's between two trees and then runs out, and he just looks so cute. He's like, mmm, mm-hmm. I think it's funny because he likes his little pinkies out when he's running.

SPEAKER_04

It helps him balance. The pinkies are very important for balance.

SPEAKER_02

I think it to me, it shows how unserious he is about all of it.

SPEAKER_04

Completely.

SPEAKER_02

He's doing it, but he's not, he's yeah, he's yeah, very in.

SPEAKER_04

And like, what is like Shane is again, I will go back to he's listening to his affirmations, or he's, you know, Lord only knows he's not an EDM type. He's not what did they say in the book? Rachel said in the book, they either listen to um actually this is in role model. I think Harris mentions it. She talks about Harris interviewing other hockey players, and when they're asked what music they listen to to hype themselves up for games, it was either EDM rap or Mumford and Sons.

SPEAKER_02

What are the fucking odds that Connor was on as an hour?

SPEAKER_04

That was Mumford and Sons. Babe, you think they need a promise? Babe, that was the first thing I thought of was I was like, is Rachel a prophet? Does she or did they do it on purpose? Right. I know is somebody there on staff deep in the game changers world. We need to know who you are. Tell us. Reveal yourself. Yes, reveal yourself now. Uh so yes, so his unseriousness. But Ilya, what I mean, he's he's listening to like whatever the fuck he wants. He could be listening to an audiobook, but he, yeah, like you said, he's just out there like having a good time. He's like, Well, I have to go for an X mile run before I can do my other workout.

SPEAKER_02

So here we go. And I feel like it also is similar to what you said in the first when we were talking about the first episode when he ends up in the gym. I think a lot of it also has to do with getting away from his fucking dad and his family. 100%.

SPEAKER_04

So yeah, it's it's an escape.

SPEAKER_02

He doesn't care, but he's gotta do it.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, and he can finally be free. So it's like you see that in his run, and a lot of people talk online about how cute his run is and like the little jump over the puddle of We're not there yet. We're not oh, baby, baby. I know we're not don't I listen. The threats, did everyone see that? Did anyone no?

SPEAKER_02

It was so fast.

SPEAKER_04

No, she's very speedy. So also I like the comparison between just what they're wearing, you know, Shane being a little bit more buttoned up in Ilya. His outfit rarely changes. Sometimes he has a hat on. That's really the extent of it.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, the sleeveless, always the sleeveless, always the sleeveless.

SPEAKER_04

No complaints. No complaints whatsoever on the sleeveless. Yep. We get our first text exchange. Yep. Boing boing. So are you still mad about Vegas? And these little two, these two little idiots just grinning at their phones.

SPEAKER_02

I love that it shows Shane like slow down and look at his phone, and then it cuts to Ilya, who has stopped. Stopped. Full stop. Yes. He was like, you know what? I'm gonna text.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

This this baby.

SPEAKER_04

Absolutely. So here is my discovery of why I had to go back and watch this is the color of the text bubbles. Now everyone, stay with me. This is my disclaimer.

SPEAKER_02

The color of their their like names, like the respective. Okay.

SPEAKER_04

My disclaimer is could I be wrong? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02

Shut I can fucking spit it.

SPEAKER_04

Do I give a fuck? I do not. Spit it out. So Ilya's text bubble is or rather Lily's text bubble is pink.

unknown

Pink.

SPEAKER_04

Jane. Ladies and gentlemen, the hair splitter. And Shane or Jane's text bubble is green. I have decided that those are related to the color of the bi flag and the gay pride flag. This is true. Right? But they needed to contrast enough to make sense visually. Oh, we did forget. Don't interrupt my don't interrupt my breakthrough with your can of sorry, go, go. It's okay, fine. It's fine. So I think visually they needed the high contrast of two different colors. But the reason that Ilya was given the pink is the bi flag, and the reason that Shane was given the green is for the gay pride flag. I agree. Okay, well that was easy. Yeah. I was expecting. I don't know what I was expecting.

SPEAKER_02

I mean, my only argument would be that it doesn't look green to me. It looks blue.

SPEAKER_04

But well, but the to be fair, the gay pride flag is a series of like blues and greens.

SPEAKER_02

Well, that's what I was saying. It would it would work, it would work either way. So that's why that's why I wasn't gonna I I was not going to split hairs. I wasn't as you say. It is too late. Yeah. You have splitteth the hair. All right, grab your can, open it. We fucked it.

SPEAKER_04

Fine. All right. We fucked it. Sorry, everyone. Sorry.

SPEAKER_02

We got too we got too comfortable. We got too confident.

SPEAKER_04

We did. We did, and we forgot. That sounded really loud to me.

SPEAKER_02

I didn't hear it at all. I don't think anybody ever hears it.

SPEAKER_04

Me either, but the with the symbolism is important. So that's my theory on the text bubbles. And the suspension of the difference in time is just kind of accepted by the audience. Yeah. Like they wouldn't be out for a run in daylight at the same exact time getting these texts, but we're asked as the audience to just kind of suspend that understanding of time.

SPEAKER_02

I mean, it it's it could work still. How? Well, if you think about it, it's only like six hours, six or seven hours ahead.

SPEAKER_04

So if Montreal to Moscow? I mean real time research.

SPEAKER_02

What time is it in Moscow?

SPEAKER_04

Oh, nice.

SPEAKER_02

Right now it's six p.m. in Moscow. Okay. So like Ilya could be out for his evening run while Shane is out for his morning run and they're valid.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. Dirty, you dirty bird. I didn't even mean nude. I like it.

SPEAKER_04

I like it a lot. So okay. So I I stand corrected. It could be conceivably it is. I don't know why in my head I thought it would be a much bigger time difference.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Because sometimes I mean depending on what time it is, it is. Right. Right, exactly. But it's not, it couldn't be. But there's that like sweet spot.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, we know about sweet spots, babe.

SPEAKER_02

Well, it's like with Will and with Alexandra, like Will's in California. So Will's like Will's like staying up late and then about to go to bed, and they're like getting up and starting their day. Right. So they can have a conversation, but they're living different days.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Which is great.

SPEAKER_02

That's wild.

SPEAKER_04

So side story. Side story. I used to travel for a job. And back in, oh, actually it was 2011, which is where we are in the heated rivalry universe. I missed the entire June 8th. I did not experience because of time differences in the flights that I was on. Just lost the whole day. I lost an entire day. And once I figured that out, I was like, what does it all mean? I couldn't. It was the most I was like, this is my precious. But it's it, I'm telling you, it's, and it also brings me back to my other fandom. I wouldn't even call it fandom necessarily because I didn't participate, but in the West Wing, there's a really great episode. The West Wing. I know, I'm sorry, you're welcome. But people who watch the West Wing will understand. They're all trying to figure out where the president is and what time it is. And CJ, one of the characters, just goes, guys, there are clocks on the wall. And anytime I try to figure out a time change, I'm like, yeah, like you can just you can just look it up, honey. Honey, you're fine. Just believe it.

SPEAKER_02

I don't even have to type anything. I'd just be like, ah.

SPEAKER_04

Oh. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So anyway.

SPEAKER_04

Um, the text bubbles, Ilias.

SPEAKER_02

So mad about Vegas, and then not mad about anything, and the cute little head shake and smile when I love.

SPEAKER_04

I took a screenshot for you, and I'm gonna ask you to put it in the video of the pod because the little smiles that they give each other are precious. Also, do we really think that Shane's not mad?

SPEAKER_02

I don't think he's I don't think he's mad.

SPEAKER_04

You don't think that okay?

SPEAKER_02

No, I don't think he's mad. I think I think that this is the first time that he is feeling that conflicted feeling of jealousy but also pride.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. Say more.

SPEAKER_02

Well, like the way that he feels when he watches Ilya win the cup. I think that this is like the beginning of that. I think that I think that watching Ilya win the cup is when he's finally able to start identifying those feelings. Right. But I don't think that I don't think that he's mad that he lost. I think he's I think he's because he's competitive, I think he's like, fuck you, like it should have been me.

SPEAKER_04

It should have been me, bad. Well, no, but but I think the reason Ilya's asking is that he he's suspecting that Shane is mad that he kissed him, where somebody could see. Oh that was my interpretation of it. Oh like I thought you were talking about like him losing him when oh no.

SPEAKER_02

Him being mad at Ilya, thinking that Ilya like was jealous or like mad that he won or something. I follow. I follow. Okay. Yeah, but no, I think I think what you're saying makes more sense.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

But I is and that's why he walked away.

SPEAKER_04

Right. And in my head, I'm thinking, okay, it's like drunk Shane in the moment, definitely mad and had some like heightened emotional responses to it. But then maybe after the fact was like, thank fuck he kissed me. Because damn, that's all I got going for me right now.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, dude, that that makes so much more sense. I'm such an idiot.

SPEAKER_04

Um no, no, you're not, you're beautiful.

SPEAKER_02

You're perfect, but that makes so much more sense though that he would like respond that way and why Ilya would like smile and and like shake his head. So he's just like, okay, we're good. Right, we're good.

SPEAKER_04

So screenshots of the smiles forthcoming. So next we get fall 2011 and the hockey shot. I do have to mention briefly that, and I know it's been pointed out multiple times that the crowd shot because it's CGI. It is kind of fun to like pause it and find people repeated. Oh, yeah. I get such a kick out of it. Um, but I found in one screenshot I found the Same person, like three different times, but they're in like slightly different, like clapping, cheering poses. And I thoroughly enjoy it. Uh, the opposing team. Uh, so Shane makes the shot, and on the opposing team, you see you see a defender who was barely trying to say barely.

SPEAKER_02

If you actually start paying attention to the hockey, then we start getting into some trouble.

SPEAKER_04

But it's yeah, don't it's don't look too close. It's okay.

SPEAKER_02

We love you guys. You did the best you could. We love it. We love everything about it.

SPEAKER_04

But he does after Shane makes the shot, the guy just like half asleep, he just goes, Fuck. Stop. I want to see that. So great. And he's like barely exerting any effort, and he's like, What a bummer. Like, I can't believe he made that shot. I'm like, dude, you were not even like trying. It was that was such an easy shot. And I say that as somebody who can't even ice skate. Um, then you you get a shot of them sitting on their respective benches, and Shane looks over at Ilya.

SPEAKER_02

And he ain't looking at him.

SPEAKER_04

And he ain't looking, which I would have I would have guessed that it would be the reverse. So it's interesting, it's like after Shane scores, it's almost like he wants to like check in.

SPEAKER_02

Right? Like he wants a little like validation of like well, it's also um uh I learned this um more specifically from reading Amber Rose's um intimacy coordination breakdowns, but the the eye contact is you know a way of of communicating where they're both at. And that's always at this up to this point, that has been the way that they've started conversations is through eye contact.

SPEAKER_00

Right.

SPEAKER_02

And so for me, I feel like the fact that Ilya is not looking at him right now is him kind of trying to be like, you walked away, so I'm not gonna look at you right now. Like, you know, you made your choice, and we're texting and whatever, yeah. But you know, I'm he I think he to me, I feel like it's very like he looked at him when they were on the ice. Oh, yeah, but not trapped in it. Yeah, yeah. So he like he wants he wants to feel Shane looking at him, but he's not gonna give, he's not gonna give it back to him right now.

SPEAKER_04

Mm-hmm. Which is why I found it weird. I felt like it was like flip-flopped. Like I almost felt like as seriously as Shane takes hockey that he would try to stay in the moment, much like that initial face-off they had where Shane is like super focused on the work that he's doing and Ilya just can't stop looking at him. I just I would have assumed it would be reversed.

SPEAKER_02

Well, I for something that shows that Shane just can't, he can't help himself.

SPEAKER_04

I mean, who can blame him, right?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Honestly, who can blame him? Um, I forgot to mention during our first kind of text exchange at the beginning of the montage. Ilya is an emoji user. He's an emoji user. Shane. I know. Shane is not, Shane is not an emoji user because there is two. He has. Has he? Yeah. How many?

SPEAKER_02

Uh I mean I know at least one that I can think of right now in episode five.

SPEAKER_04

Well, later. That's but I mean, like up until this point, oh he like the comfort level of knowing somebody well enough to know kind of their interpretation of what their emoji is. But I just imagine him getting like the little kissy face with the heart from Ilya and being like, what does that mean? Was that a proposal? Where where does that kiss land? Seriously, like it's the interpretation that you need sometimes. Because how many times have you used an emoji and people are like, mmm, what? Not I mean, not very often. Seriously.

SPEAKER_02

I guess I guess you need to work on your emojis.

SPEAKER_04

My emoji game sucks. I have other strengths. It is not in the land of the emoji, but let this be a lesson to everyone. We need to pay attention to when Shane feels free enough to start using emojis.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. So we cut to the locker room after the game, and we get another text coming in from Lily. What's a girl to do on a lonely night in Montreal? Lily. You can see Shane look around. He's like, Did anybody see that? Nope. Okay. Nope. Throws that back up there. And then we get Ilya just like arm up fucking. Sir. We're getting left on red hard. But that's fine because you wouldn't look at him.

SPEAKER_04

So that was deserved. That was absolutely deserved. And it's I made notes here about how focused Iliad could not care less that other people are around. He doesn't care if somebody's coming and looking over his shoulder. He decided on this Jane and Lily thing. So he feels he's fine.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

But in this moment, it's he just needs contact with Shane. And I wrote to myself, please be thinking about me like I'm thinking about you.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

I think I shared a post where it was just like, I love you, or look at me, look at me, stop looking at me.

SPEAKER_04

Yes. And you just feel it in that moment. Like Shane can like compartmentalize it and he can put it back up in the cubby or on the shelf or whatever. And Ilya's just like, I need to know that you're in this moment with me in real time. Um and it's just like it's it's a little like heartbreaking. Like he's trying to put himself out there, even though it's definitely some chirping happening. Yeah. Um but he just he wants him to like be there and flirt with him. And Shane is a nervous little puppy. Yeah, he's just a baby boy. He's just a baby boy with soup in his belly.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

He is belly soups. Belly soups. So then we get winter.

SPEAKER_02

Yep, our next jump. So we go from summer 2011 to winter 2012. I learned through trying to figure out the timeline because I started getting distracted, like confused because I remember when I first watched it, it said summer 2011 and then it says winter 2012. And in my in my head, winter begins at the end of the year. So I was like, this is like the end of 2012, but it's not, it's the beginning of 2012.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, I see what you mean. Okay.

SPEAKER_02

Sorry. So it took me a second. Once I realized that, I was like, okay. Because at first I was like, this is way more time. Like, holy shit. But no, this is like maybe seven months. Right.

SPEAKER_04

So right. We're not like jumping years. Um, shout out to the airport shot and my low-key complaint. And I've said this to you, is that some of the cutest looks that we get from Shane and from Ilya are in like such short clips. And this is a perfect example, is Shane and his emotional support, you know, leather jacket, circle. Yeah, the hoodie and the so adorable, and we only get it for a short span of time. It's it's a crime.

SPEAKER_02

Do you think that that's Connor sitting behind him? I do not. I did look at that. Everyone says it is. And I mean, yeah, I don't. I just don't think so either. And I've seen people say that the guy standing behind him is like a priest. It's not, you guys, it's a dude wearing a collared shirt that's unbuttoned at the top, and he's wearing a white undershirt.

SPEAKER_04

It did give me clergy vibes.

SPEAKER_02

It's not.

SPEAKER_04

It's not, it's not. All right. I'm gonna have to. I promise you it's not. All right. I grew up Catholic, so I have I know, but it's not.

SPEAKER_02

I promise. Okay, all right. I'm gonna get I'm gonna get yelled at for that.

SPEAKER_04

But but it does, it does create a layer of kind of stress for Shane.

SPEAKER_02

I guess I just don't I just don't see Jacob bringing some sort of religious aspect into this like that. You know what I mean? Like and and and every choice that they made was intentional. And I just I just don't I just make that response. It makes no sense. It has no place in the story in any way. And if everything was intentional, yeah. And that because by saying that, that's saying that the every other like out like uh every other like costume choice that the costume designer made. Like if we're if we think that everything was was so specific, why would that why would that be kind of thrown away? Exactly. Why and why would she throw that in there? Right. For what for what reason? You're at the fucking airport. Where does a a priest fit into that? How many priests do you see at the fucking airport? Priests fly. I got priests not family. I'm not saying that they don't, but you know, it's just like I'm totally messing with you.

SPEAKER_04

No, oh god, second one. Good lord, she is threatening to punch me.

SPEAKER_02

So we get our first uh innuendo.

SPEAKER_04

Do you want to come while you're in Boston? Do you? Do you? I mean, I do. And I'm in Boston. I did. See? And we're fired. Uh and poor Shane just not getting the innuendo, you know, like, which is classic, right? Like that is peak neurodivergency of reading something literally and knowing, wait a minute, there's something a little off with this sentence structure. And you get Ilya, presumably at his house. It is just his house. He's in his kitchen. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

We also named like a fool. We get his first. I it's I don't know if it's his first, but we get uh an a little eyebrow raise where he's like and a little a little tongue, a little bit of a tongue out.

SPEAKER_04

You do. No, yeah. Not like out, but he like bites on it. I promise. But he's this this is kind of the the interaction that he wanted back in the locker room. Your cat is what?

SPEAKER_02

My cat started yelling at me. I was like, what is that sound?

SPEAKER_04

What is happening? Uh but yeah, Ilya is kind of reaching out, and in real time, he's getting some reaction. So you see him light up in a different way. You know, he's not begging for it as much anymore. He's got Shane on the hook.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, I see the tongue now.

SPEAKER_04

You see it.

SPEAKER_02

He got he goes, Yep.

SPEAKER_04

Baby boomy.

SPEAKER_02

You piece of shit. Stop that.

SPEAKER_04

You got it bad. Also, shout out to the French press that's on his countertop. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

It's a nice one.

SPEAKER_04

It's a really nice one. It's the only way to live, and that's really lovely for people who have the time.

SPEAKER_02

So he says use Google Translate, go back up. Okay, so it's in this moment when when Shane leans back and crosses his arms, that is when you can tell the most that it is not a priest that's standing behind him. You can clearly see the buttons unbuttoned and that it's just an undershirt. Got it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Evidence, evidence. Presented. Please pay attention to Natalie. Uh I should maybe I should take a screenshot of his. You should take a screenshot.

SPEAKER_02

Motherfuckers.

SPEAKER_04

My Mariafama. I know things. So then we switch to spring 2012, and we're seeing Shane watch the playoffs at home. And you get a and I have screenshots of this for you as well. You get a shot of his phone. And you see it.

SPEAKER_02

Did you hear that? Did you hear that?

SPEAKER_04

What?

SPEAKER_02

No. I burped, man.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, nice.

SPEAKER_02

It was a big one too. And you didn't hear it?

SPEAKER_04

I didn't hear it. You gotta burp every episode, babe.

SPEAKER_02

Uh I mean you saw it, but it was not there.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, it's fine. So Shane's Shane's phone, and you see that the last text message exchange was about the Google Translate. Do you want to come in Boston? So it's clearly demonstrating that there isn't a lot of in-between conversation casualness about it. It's very like pointed, I want to get some action kind of situation. But he's sitting there, and I love the um the television is right above the fireplace. And then later in this episode, the fire reappears between the two of them, but we'll get there.

SPEAKER_02

You're welcome. And the weird thing for the texting, and I guess the only thing that like is confusing to me is that Shane puts Lily in quotations. I felt like that was weird too. Do you want it to be a secret or no?

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Are we are we really doing this? Yes. I don't understand. Right. What is this?

SPEAKER_04

The quotation mark threw me for a loop because I was like, you of all people are like wanting to be very careful about this getting exposed. And weird choice. Weird choice just doesn't make any sense.

SPEAKER_02

Like why why'd you put her name in quotations? Oh, uh I I I make jokes that her name isn't really her name. What what sir?

SPEAKER_04

No, sir. Stop it. Yeah, don't do it. Uh oral fixation.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, wow, wow, wow, wow. Literally both just do that.

SPEAKER_04

Jesus Christ. Oh, what a mess. But the fact the fact that they are both doing it is such a beautiful choice that it's like it's becoming more real, it's becoming more tangible for both of them. Uh, this interaction, that it's not just these flirtations, it's I feel you all over, and I get tingly, and what the fuck is going on? Um, the fact that Ilias is, I mean, what else does he have access to? But the fact that it's his necklace is just lovely and such an emotional connection for him that it's like approaching, you know, we have the whole like who fell first and all that business, but it's very symbolic of love for him, that it's something that he carries with him, and here he is interacting with this person that he's starting or already really cares about.

SPEAKER_03

And he's like, I gotta chew it.

SPEAKER_01

Owen was just for you.

SPEAKER_04

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02

Getting these microphones, you are going to lose your shit when you hear what that sounds like.

SPEAKER_01

Oh no, holy hell, holy hell. Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_04

Well, I'm I'm a mess.

SPEAKER_02

Natalie is fine. Well, then we get one of my favorite text messages that gets sent in the whole thing when he says, Yeah. Well, Shane says, See you next year, asshole. And then Ilya says, Promise. I still want that asshole. And yes is proper grammar. He's like, it's proper grammar, but this sentence isn't.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, but this one that one was this one, not so much. Not so much at all. And then we get Shane doing the dot dot dot.

SPEAKER_02

And he says, I think we should, right?

SPEAKER_04

This is like such an I like this parallel between um this scene and Vegas when he deletes uh his text message in the elevator. Totally different vibe. But same thing. It's like he can't in this one, he can't keep up. And in the elevator leaving Vegas, it's like, oh, he's kept up. Like he just he that's a huge leap for him, huge vulnerability. And he's like, Oh, oh, now I can keep up, but my feelings have caught up to me. And so I liked that there if that's a parallel that was intentional, I liked that he deleted this text and was like and tossed his phone and he stops chewing on his drawstring. Like up until then, he's kind of like actively chewing on it in his mouth, and then once he kind of panics, he tosses the phone and just kind of stops.

SPEAKER_02

It's an omen for the tuna meltdown.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, the heartbreak. Oh, I don't want to talk about that scene at all. It makes my butt okay.

SPEAKER_02

If you're listening, um Shane says, I think that you should, and you guys tell us what you think he was gonna say.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, I like that. We gotta we gotta post that and get some responses because I I would love to.

SPEAKER_02

I want to post it and we'll say, I think that you should tell us what he said, what he would have said, right answers only. I don't want to do the wrong answers.

SPEAKER_04

No, the wrong answers has not been working.

SPEAKER_02

I want I want right answers only. Yeah, seriously. I need to know.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, so they're they're little grins when they're texting back and forth. Amazing. And then we move into fall 2012, and Shane is sitting in the hotel room with Hayden. Hayden is very clearly not playing a game to me. He's like reading something on his phone, and I like to think like reading a little parenting book that Jackie sent him.

SPEAKER_02

You know, he's or uh no, I guess it's still too early. I was gonna say, or he's like watching the like they have like a camera at their house.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, that's even cuter. Oh, yeah, it might be. I mean, conceivably, I guess they could have, but I just love that like Hayden is sitting there completely unassuming, whatever, and Shane wearing his signature long sleeves for security. Yeah, he's wearing long pants too. Is he? Yeah, yeah. And you see again a shot of Shane's phone where the last interaction was I want that asshole. And he gets the two eight two eight eight six beacon, which for those who don't know Boston, Beacon Beacon Street is a fairly like common name, not just in the city of Boston. It's kind of it's used all over the place. But yes, I shrieked. I will share with you actually the photo that my friend Sarah sent because when she watched the episode, she's like, I had she's an architect. She's like, I had to look it up. And so she she found it on Google Maps, and it's like a an old mill or something like that.

SPEAKER_02

That makes sense. You don't want to put an address where people are actually gonna like go where somebody lives.

SPEAKER_04

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02

Um but uh what's that? And he says, a place where you can get what you want, and he says, What do I want? You little you walked right into it, Shane. But it's not even about walking right into it. He knew that. He knew, but but like I don't think he knew he was gonna get a dick pick, but I think that no he he's he's baiting, but honey, things are escalating, yeah. But he's that's what I'm saying, he's baiting. So it's like bro, bro, you're you're wanting to you're wanting to like dip a toe in. So you can't act surprised.

SPEAKER_04

No, honey. Also, the theories around the dick pic. Did the actor who played Ilya get sign off on what was used? Do we give a shit? I mean, I don't give a shit, but I've just seen it discussed online. And I'm like, wait a minute. Assuming you give a shit, you're also assuming that it would fucking matter to anyone.

SPEAKER_02

I have it paused, so I'm looking directly at a dick right now, in case anyone's wondering.

SPEAKER_04

Alright. Her head is tilted for those of you listening and it doesn't look like a picture.

SPEAKER_02

It looks like a painting.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. It looks like a painting.

SPEAKER_02

Well, and I think because you only see it for like two seconds, I don't think this is actually a picture of somebody's dick.

SPEAKER_04

You think Ilya sent a picture of a painting of a dick?

SPEAKER_02

No, I think in the show it is supposed to be his dick, but I think that the picture that they actually use, I don't think that's an actual photo of somebody's dick. Oh, yeah, right. And I would agree. Yeah. Right. But I because at first I was like, what picture did they use? And now looking at it, I'm just like, it doesn't even look like a photo, especially because earlier we saw the video of Ilya on his phone and it was like perfect.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So why wouldn't why wouldn't the dick pic also be like that?

SPEAKER_04

Maybe he blurred it out to create anyway, anyway. Moving on, Shane gets flustered.

SPEAKER_02

And I also love that the music cuts out.

SPEAKER_04

Oh my god, so good. Like, Hayden's gonna know. What the but then it's great because Hayden exchanges like a little look and he was like, he's like, I don't care. And then Shane's little smile when he picks his phone back up. You're like, he knows that he has to delete that, but he's like, I'm just gonna look one more time.

SPEAKER_02

I love that Hayden's like you okay?

SPEAKER_04

Are you good?

SPEAKER_02

Are you good, my guy? And that's what Aiden's like panic delete, panic delete.

SPEAKER_04

I can't. I absolutely can't. Thanks. Thanks, Lily. That's that's a really great. Well done, Lily. Uh, then we get Shane rowing. I did see online I don't know anything about rowing. But I did say somebody on see somebody online was irritated that he didn't have proper form. I'm like, okay.

SPEAKER_02

Are we gonna talk really about proper form in rowing when you have all of the footage?

SPEAKER_04

That's valid. That's totally valid. Expecting. Yes, exactly. Like we're not we're not terribly focused on row, but he doesn't have earbuds in. He doesn't have headphones in.

SPEAKER_02

He's got eyes on the phone right between his legs, which is where Ilya belongs, by the way.

SPEAKER_04

Thank you very much. His address is not 2886 Beacon. It is right between Shane's legs. Thank you. Uh and then Ilya, you get is he on the bike? That's what I guessed. Yeah, he's on, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

He's on um, it's weird though. It's not like just an exercise bike, it's one of those ones where like oh that's okay.

SPEAKER_04

Because all I could think of was like old school Nordic track because he was like his shoulders were moving and his hands were moving, and I was like, What is you don't see the machinery, which is fine. And then you get him a back, a back of the head shot looking at um one of the commercials that Shane is in.

SPEAKER_02

He's everywhere, and we also get the uh the beautiful uh nine goals next week, why nine? One for each inch of the dick that you want, but we all know thanks to Rachel Reed, that Ilya is a liar.

unknown

Oh no.

SPEAKER_04

Is he perhaps expanding the truth?

SPEAKER_02

I believe so. Oh no, I believe what they call it is uh stretching the truth. Yep, yeah. That was my favorite though. Somebody posted about it and they were like, is it really nine inches? And she commented and she was like, Ilya is a liar. And I was like, that is the best thing I could have ever fucking seen in my whole fucking life.

SPEAKER_04

Like that's the entire response. That's that's literally that's all she said. Ilya is a liar. He's a liar. His liar liar told you that. Yep, absolutely. Uh and yeah, so the the fact that Ilya sees him in the commercial is very it just like Shane is always on his mind. Like he can escape texting him, thinking about him, and holy shit, I'm just trying to work out.

SPEAKER_02

And he's where his head is in ref in reference to 100% Shane's placement, not that he's done and he's moving.

SPEAKER_04

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. We we love some visual symbolism, people. We love it. We do. We are here for it.

SPEAKER_02

So then our next time jump was in 2013.

SPEAKER_04

2013.

SPEAKER_02

Yep, spring 2013.

SPEAKER_04

Shane fully geared up in hockey gear, ignores the text from Ilya.

SPEAKER_02

But just if Boston wins this round, I get to fuck you next fall deal.

SPEAKER_04

Mm-hmm. But then where does Shane end up? So in full gear, he ignores it. He's in the zone.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, he can't. He's like, can't do this.

SPEAKER_04

I can't, I can't face this right now. But when does he respond?

SPEAKER_02

Once he's back home in bed. He's got no shirt on. Now he can. Maybe he got nothing on the bottom. Maybe Ilya's gonna reply right now.

SPEAKER_04

I don't think I don't think it was that.

SPEAKER_02

I mean, then he says, what do I get if Montreal wins? And then Ilya says, same thing. Same thing. Same thing, baby. And I love that because I think that I think it's cute because Shane is so competitive. Um so it's like everybody wins. Yeah. No matter who wins, everybody wins.

SPEAKER_04

Everybody wins. We stand together at the top.

SPEAKER_02

We do.

SPEAKER_04

So to speak. All right. So that that's our montage. Yeah, we made it through the montage. We made it through the montage. So next episode we'll pick back up after the opening title. Yeah. I think we're ready.

SPEAKER_01

We made it. We made it. We've made it.

unknown

We've done it.

SPEAKER_02

So we can uh switch over to our fix for the week. The week. Do you want to go first? Since you have your laptop now and you can use your phone and you can read it yourself. Everybody has a laptop now.

SPEAKER_04

I have a laptop now. My computer was straight busted. And you're welcome. And so I was functioning primarily on my phone. And so now I can be a real participating member of this podcast instead of just free riding on Natalie's fame. And I can actually be helpful. And that includes being able to read my own little synopsis because I have two screens.

SPEAKER_01

Look at you go.

SPEAKER_04

I know it's so important.

SPEAKER_01

What is your fic? Let's hear it lay it on.

SPEAKER_04

All right. So my fic is, I'm bringing it up as we speak. Um, I won't read the whole description, but mine is called The MILF Theory and Why the Internet Got It Wrong. Okay. A plus title by Pucks and Power.

SPEAKER_02

Nice.

SPEAKER_04

Nice. I like that one. So the partial summary is in which Ilya's boyfriend's mother keeps adopting him, the internet keeps assuming the worst, and Shane Hollander is having the worst month of his entire life, at least until he does something that breaks hockey forever. Highly recommend. It's pretty it's a pretty brief, uh, it's not too bad. It's 13,000 words. So check it out.

SPEAKER_02

10,000 more than mine.

SPEAKER_04

Hey.

SPEAKER_02

All right, what's what's yours?

SPEAKER_04

What do you got?

SPEAKER_02

Uh mine is called The Shopping List, and it is by Wonderless in Violet. And the summary is Ilya is a menace, and Shane needs his shopping list to stay on task. Um, it was in response to somebody asking for a fic with Ilya wearing um his backwards cap, basically what he was wearing uh when he got picked up at the airport in Ottawa by Shane. So it's very hot.

SPEAKER_04

Love. I will be reading that as soon as we are finished here. Thank you very much and good night. Appreciate it. Appreciate you joining us. So check out the fix. Send us art, send us fix. We like we like a good recommendation.

SPEAKER_02

Um yeah, please tell us about the fix that you're reading that you're loving. Um, and then we also have a cool uh thing that we're working on. It's still a work in progress, but we're still a work in progress, yes. Yeah, give you a little a little update. So, Liz, go ahead. You have that.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, so the same artist that helped us with logos and with artwork for the pod. Um I spontaneously one night after taking a gummy wrote the version of Goodnight Loon to Goodnight Moon, which if you are a parent, even if you aren't a parent, you're probably familiar with the Goodnight Moon book.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, they do it on um uh CNN every New Year's. They write them. Yeah, they they write like a good night moon for like a whole year. Yeah, it's I had no idea. I didn't know it's like an actual book, it's fun.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, and in in Minnesota, there actually is in existence a because the loon is the state bird, the goodnight loon actually exists. So this artist has helped us out to format the poem and also create a hotel room image in the style of Goodnight Moon with some heated rivalry hidden gems. So our plan is to print postcards, posters, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

We're still working out those details.

SPEAKER_04

We're still working out the details, um, where 100% of the money is gonna go to charities, um, which we're trying to determine the specific ones and determine the process to try and make this as easy as possible for folks who are interested in having a little a fun little piece of original art um from somebody who appreciates the fandom and from us because we appreciate you.

SPEAKER_02

So be able to do some sort of like digital download also.

SPEAKER_04

Oh yeah, we might be yeah, we might be able to do that.

SPEAKER_02

People want to be able to like take it and print it themselves or whatever. So yeah, so yeah, that'll be fun. And we'll give you guys a little um sneak peek on that. We're gonna we'll close the episode with some stuff from there. So yeah. Oh all right. So next we got we're gonna move into the yeats.

SPEAKER_04

All right, what what are we yeeting out?

SPEAKER_02

Yeeting out, we're gonna go back to back to one we did not long ago. Um we're gonna go back to the demandums. Yeah, you know, like there's I think that I think that it's just it's it's really uh important that we understand that none of these people owe us anything. Nobody. Not Jacob, not Rachel, not any of the actors, nobody. And we are lucky that we are being bestowed so much content pretty much all the time. I mean, I feel like every single day I see somebody post saying, like, can one of them please take their fucking foot off my neck off of my neck? You know, and so that is the case. So just enjoy what we're getting. Like, don't demand things from people. Stop fucking tagging them in stuff.

unknown

Tagging, I can't.

SPEAKER_02

I mean, I understand, I understand that it in some situations it's innocent, and I, you know, I understand it. I'm not saying that, but like, man, some of y'all just really need to fucking act like slow your roll.

SPEAKER_04

Also, they're not uh reading your stuff.

SPEAKER_02

There's so many of us on threads, it's enjoy enjoy enjoy the community, be a part of it, you know.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, and that said, eat in eating in and eat in uh any any potential for like celebrating other people that are doing things within the fandom, but also eating in the patience because we're we're probably closing in on a content drought, and I will actively have to block people who are like, oh my god, I haven't had a new picture of them in over a month, and I don't know what to do. Well, honey, you need to take a walk and drink a glass of water.

SPEAKER_02

Try to remember when we weren't seeing Connor when he was finishing filming his project, you know. We didn't there's gonna be some of that, and that's okay. Um, but there we'll be fine. We are we will be we will be fed. We will be fed. There is many, there is many foods. So many foods for you. So many fandom foods. Nom nom nom. Munch, munch, munch if you want. Munch, munch, munch.

SPEAKER_04

Munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch. Jesus Christ. So all right, we gotta we gotta roll. So to end our episode this week, we are going to share the good night loon poem. Nat, are you ready? Yes. That Liz wrote.

SPEAKER_02

Liz wrote this. I didn't I had nothing to do with this. I get no credit other than I'm gonna read it and make it sound.

SPEAKER_04

That is true. Well, fine, but you're perfect and lovely, and I can't live without you. All right, are you starting or am I starting? You start it out. I'll start it. All right, are you people ready? Yep. Good night hockey stick and first draft pick.

SPEAKER_02

Good night, Shane Sox, and good night cox.

SPEAKER_04

Good night, Boston Bear, dragging a chair.

SPEAKER_02

Good night, Angry Kitten, acting smitten.

SPEAKER_04

Good night, Globelights and Terrace Fights.

SPEAKER_02

Good night, foot touches and stairwell blushes.

SPEAKER_04

Good night, moon, and good night loons.

SPEAKER_02

Good night, slutty glasses and perfect asses.

SPEAKER_04

Good night boring and open mouth snoring. Love that one.

SPEAKER_02

Good night things and Olympic rings.

SPEAKER_04

Oh no. Good night cottage and goodnight frotage. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Good night smoothies, good night ale.

SPEAKER_04

Good night hotel rooms everywhere.

SPEAKER_02

Good night, moon.

SPEAKER_04

And good night.

SPEAKER_02

Good night loons.

SPEAKER_04

That was just for you all.

SPEAKER_02

Good night loons.

SPEAKER_04

Well done. Good night, Nat. Good night, Loon.