Ep 1 What is an Unc???

Summary

In this inaugural episode, the hosts explore the transition from youth to maturity, discussing the responsibilities and expectations that come with aging. They emphasize the importance of love, accountability, and mentorship in shaping one's identity and legacy. The conversation highlights the need for emotional intelligence and the role of community in personal growth, ultimately calling for a more authentic and supportive approach to masculinity.

Takeaways

Transitioning from being the youngest to the elder statesman brings new responsibilities.

Maturation involves understanding and accepting one's role in leadership and mentorship.

Accountability is crucial for personal growth and should be embraced, not feared.

Experiences shape identity and provide valuable lessons for future generations.

Creating and preserving a legacy is essential for personal fulfillment and community impact.

Navigating modern masculinity requires understanding emotional intelligence and vulnerability.

Love is a powerful motivator that drives positive actions and relationships.

Teaching the next generation involves leading them to discover their own answers.

Emotional intelligence is key to connecting with others and understanding their needs.

Building a supportive community fosters growth and encourages shared experiences. 

00:00 Introduction and Setting the Stage

02:58 Transitioning from Youth to Maturity

05:48 The Role of Mentorship and Leadership

08:53 Understanding Legacy and Its Importance

11:56 Navigating Parenting and Generational Differences

14:50 The Need for Community and Support

17:43 Creating and Leaving a Legacy

20:49 The Importance of Intentionality in Life

23:52 Final Thoughts and Reflections

30:10 Intentional Growth and Legacy

32:24 Overcoming Hesitation and Embracing Opportunities

33:47 The Power of Vulnerability and Creativity

35:37 The Importance of Light and Positivity

37:23 Teaching Moments and the Butterfly Effect

38:51 Creating a Community of Mentorship

40:40 Authenticity and Accountability in Mentorship

43:13 The Role of Love in Personal Growth

46:21 Understanding and Expressing Love

49:17 Leading with Love in Mentorship

51:49 The Essence of Being an 'Unk'

Transcript

J Staff (00:08)
Man, you know, this is our first inaugural episode, so we're gonna just jump off into it. ⁓ Jump into it. So, you know, the title of our episode to, well, shoot, we'll come up with the title, but I don't know, man, but ⁓ what makes an unk an unk. But, you know, since we're doing the first inaugural episode, we should go around the horn and kind of just talk about kind of how we even got here. ⁓ You know.

for me, just kind of kicking it off, man. ⁓ I know I was telling, know, Joe, you ain't heard this story, but Jared is gonna, this is gonna be a rehash for Jared. It was, there was a young lady at my job, ⁓ you know, I'm thinking, you know, I'm being, you know, she'd be talking, we chatting it up, you know, you do the, ⁓ you look, you so nice. ⁓

You know, as soon as I dip, you know, I saw my eye. Well, you know, I gotta go. Thank you. You know, it's nice meeting you. She's like, all right, take it easy. Dab me up. I like, yeah. I was sitting there just like, like the Mr. Krabs meme, like, ⁓ shoot, an unk. Like, because, know, it for the longest as a millennial.

Joe From Work (01:18)
Yeah.

Hehehehehe

J Thomas (01:22)
No.

J Staff (01:30)
You've been I've been the youngest in the in the office. So you want one of the youngest. So this is the first time where. Shoot, I'm being acknowledged as the old head now, so she said now I'm like I had I had a double back and say, ⁓ like what do mean? You got the gray hair, you know, you know, you got the gray hair like you are now. I was like. But that's crazy, but that's that's crazy, but.

Joe From Work (01:32)
you

Mm-hmm.

You have to make sure.

J Thomas (01:55)
Duh-hah-hah.

J Staff (02:00)
You know, I mean, I think I, I think I was talking to Jerry about this for like three weeks. It hadn't been about three weeks. said, bruh, son, she just called me out, man. I don't know what to do with this. You know, but I mean, but it, but you, but you think about it. It's as far as like, but it started me to thinking about that transition from being the young buck in the office to the elder statesman.

Joe From Work (02:07)
Hmm.

J Thomas (02:07)
Yeah, dude. Yeah,

man. He's feeling some kind of way.

Joe From Work (02:14)
That's hilarious.

J Staff (02:30)
you know, to the older man and and what that means as far as like I mean, you know, when you do young bug, let's just let's just be real. You do young, but you out here just you just out here, you know, saying your priorities are a little different at the office, you know, but the priorities is a little different at the office. But but now, you know, as the elder statesman,

J Thomas (02:44)
Yeah.

Joe From Work (02:48)
⁓ Unfortunately, you're correct.

J Staff (02:59)
shoot, you gotta come in a little bit more, a little bit more professional, a little bit, not even professional, but just a little bit more mindful of, you know. It said, I think somebody said, foolishness don't look good on you when you're an old man, when you got like gray hair. It don't look good on you, so shoot.

Joe From Work (03:07)
Yeah, a little more put together, you know?

That's right. That's right.

It's no longer excused. You should know better.

J Staff (03:20)
Hey, hey, hey, like you got your hair in the cooking jar? You're 40, bro, come on. 40 years

old in the cooking jar, what are you doing? So man, it's one of those, like you get the Bible verse and like, you know, putting away the childish things, right? And what that means as far as being able to just know that

All right, that was good for them. That was good for 07, 08, 2010, 2012 me. But now, know, 2025, you're the elder statesman, you got the little gray hair now, you gotta do something. So I said all that to say that got me to thinking about like, all right, what's the next step for us? Like, how do we need to be better?

Joe From Work (04:02)
Hehehehehe

J Thomas (04:11)
Mm-hmm.

J Staff (04:14)
how is it that all the stuff that me and know, like Jared and I have these conversations and I you Jared have the conversations. How do we bring this together and put and and and share the the gold that we've been able to mine and and share with other people? So, that got me to thinking we should do this man and and you know, what what better way to do it than with my brothers, you know what saying? So, we have our, we have our

Joe From Work (04:39)
Hear hear.

J Staff (04:42)
our trips and now this is just an extension of our trips, man.

J Thomas (04:47)
Yeah, I think I agree. I like that first Corinthians quote, that first Corinthians verse, like childish you don't.

J Staff (04:53)
you brought the You brought

the address.

J Thomas (04:57)
Hey man, you know, yeah dude, like you got the...

Joe From Work (04:58)
I'm like that one story in that one book, you know the one.

J Thomas (05:00)
Okay, yeah, that first Quirinthians quote. Cause that's a pivotal moment I think in a lot of men's life that gets missed. And it gets missed in a lot of different areas. Like childish things doesn't always mean something that's obviously immature. You know what I mean? Like, okay, I'm gonna stop, you know, going to clubs or I'm gonna stop.

J Staff (05:00)
Yeah! Yeah!

J Thomas (05:25)
you know, maybe listening to a certain type of music or something like that. But it's more so even allowing yourself to mature in ways where you think differently, you make decisions differently. ⁓ You put more, you have more intention in life than like you were saying, just kind of floating. But I say, man, you know, when my eyes got open to this, this unk moniker was like probably around volunteering. Like I volunteered quite a bit when I was in my early

mid thirties and ⁓ you know, you get around enough young people, you slowly start to realize when ⁓ you don't understand words, they're saying that you don't understand slang. You know, the music that they listen to, you can't really tolerate anymore. Just doesn't move you. ⁓ And then, you know, they start calling you that. They start calling you. And yeah, and it was like we, we.

Joe From Work (06:08)
cat.

Yeah, life will definitely tell you.

J Thomas (06:23)
when we were that age, we call them OGs, but now it's sunk. So once you've kind of realized you've aged out of things and you have to know when you've aged out of things, sometimes we're not aware of it. Sometimes we age out of things and our body tells us that we're aged out of it. But it is like, it is a little bit of a jab, like what Jermaine was saying when someone else tells you you've aged out of something. I you little too old for that.

Joe From Work (06:25)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

You

Mm-hmm.

J Thomas (06:52)
⁓ but I mean, ultimately, I think I've always had a posture leadership and mentoring. And so like I've done that in various forums, starting all the way in high school through college. ⁓ and like you're saying, Jermaine in the professional realm, they're having mentees that are looking to level up in their career in one way or another. ⁓ so even up until now, mentees that I have, but that is, that is definitely one of the.

the ways in which I'm like, okay, yeah, I'm comfortable being an artist because it's something that I've, it's a posture I've always had, but ⁓ definitely something I'm leaning into now. Man, yeah, because I think eventually you gotta accept, you gotta accept certain things. And I don't think there's any good coming, there's any good that'll come out of fighting things that are inevitable. so being an aging, there's some inevitability to it. Aging is inevitable, but maturation isn't.

Joe From Work (07:24)
Hehehehe

J Staff (07:26)
comfortable.

You comfortable with it?

Joe From Work (07:33)
Hehehehehe

Mm-hmm.

J Staff (07:45)
Fight until the end, bruh.

Joe From Work (07:52)
Yeah, that's right.

J Thomas (07:52)
And I think those two

things need to go hand in hand if you want to be, you know, once we get into what makes an unk and the important things about it. But yeah, that's my story with it.

Joe From Work (08:07)
I like it, man. I definitely piggyback off of both of y'all said, especially something you said was pretty important, which is don't be painfully unaware of something. All right, you talk about being mature, like putting away childish things might mean taking responsibility for your actions. All right, it's always somebody else's fault to a kid. You know what mean? It ain't never they fault. And that's one of the things that a lot of people

J Thomas (08:18)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

Joe From Work (08:36)
who are way too old to be skirting responsibility do. And it's a big, big part of why I enjoy this position that I'm in. I used to think, these sort of OGs and unks, they can be made, life will kind of tell you, but I feel like I've always been this guy. I just didn't have the right tool set to be able to express myself in a way that would make people.

J Thomas (08:57)
Mm-hmm.

Joe From Work (09:04)
want to listen to me, you know, Jared to tell you, man, we'd be growing up and I'm like, my bike turns into a house with a family and I've got a wife and kid like I've just I wanted to be this dude since I was eight years old. You know what I mean? It's just that I hadn't had all the maybe seasoning that life can give you that allows your knowledge to turn into wisdom. You know, this is you know, I've always had a knack for storytelling.

J Thomas (09:05)
Mm-hmm.

You

J Staff (09:15)
you

Joe From Work (09:29)
I always had a knack for just kind of expressing myself in ways that people enjoy hearing. But what I was giving them was maybe things to make them laugh, things to make them cry, not things to make them think, which is what I can do now. You know, I can spark ideas in people that can better their lives, their wives lives, their children's lives, their coworkers lives. know, when I'm because when I speak now, I speak with an authority.

J Thomas (09:43)
⁓ huh. ⁓ huh.

Joe From Work (09:58)
that I feel life has granted me at this point. And so it's not so much that I had to transition. It's just that I had to know the right time to be able to be this guy. And I think that time is now. It definitely makes it easier when I go and buy us some beer. They're like, we don't need no ID. You're definitely fine. Or I'm talking to a young bucket work and they're like, yes, sir. yeah, thanks, Ms. Macklemore.

J Thomas (10:00)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Joe From Work (10:27)
You can call me Joe. It's totally fine. I play video games too. It's fine. know, try, know, you know, it's, so, you know, you see that or when somebody asks about somebody, cause this is what I hate the most. When somebody will say something like way back in 2002 and I'm like way back. That's, that's, not, that's not, that's not as far as I might want to hear. So those are the things, like you said, life will let you know when, when you're an unc, if you don't realize it yourself, it definitely will.

J Thomas (10:32)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Joe From Work (10:56)
But yeah, I just feel like I've always kind of been waiting for the opportunity to amass this sort of knowledge, amass this sort of confidence in myself, amass this sort of ⁓ experience in life, you know, because one of the things that I say help make me, just like what helps make everyone, are your experiences. And the more dramatic, harsh, difficulty experience on the other side of that, you're that much more strong.

J Thomas (11:10)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Joe From Work (11:25)
You know, you're that much more intelligent about a situation or about how you make decisions. And so I really like that I'm able to survive so many things to be able to share those.

J Thomas (11:26)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

J Staff (11:39)
Yeah, man, hey, I'll tell you everything we've all come at it from a different starting point and and even ⁓ You know some of us are kicking and screaming like myself Yeah, think Jared's a little more just like go with the flow like this is a part of life now and I'm in this part But Joe's like I've been here. I lived here even when I was seven and so

Joe From Work (11:56)
You

J Thomas (11:58)
AMM.

J Staff (12:06)
It's it I think it reflects the journeys of all the all types of men that you could still develop and get to the place where you need to be. Whether you get there voluntarily and you're being shown the way or you know or you've always been there and now you've got the confidence to share like the place math the place and and your and your confidence are matching.

J Thomas (12:11)
Mm-hmm.

J Staff (12:33)
I think it's even more important, and even shows highlights that it's important to have that tribe with you. It's important to have those group and community of guys with you that kind of pull you to the next step. which is why, heck, that's why this podcast is needed now, you know? And why we even thought about doing it, you know?

J Thomas (12:45)
Mm-hmm.

J Staff (12:56)
I just, what comes to mind is, you know, that first take episode with Michael Irving when he's like, the recipe's getting lost. We need to, nobody's cooking no more. And so, you know, even though it's so dramatic, you know, he's so voice-per-ous. It's him just reflecting on the fact that the traditions that we've had forever, something as simple as getting a lady's number at a young age.

J Thomas (13:13)
Okay.

J Staff (13:26)
is getting lost, know? Recipes are getting lost. Grandma's biscuits, you ain't gonna have them no more unless somebody hands down grandma's biscuits. So I think that what it ends up saying is that, you know, kind of the reason why we even needed this right now is because, you know, it's getting lost. The game is getting lost. The missions are getting lost.

Joe From Work (13:27)
It's gone, yeah, man.

Hehehehehe

J Thomas (13:51)
Mm-hmm.

J Staff (13:54)
And then also, man, there's just a vacuum of, know, you got on one hand, these he may he may woman haters. It's like, no, you know what? Make them pay. Make them do this. Make it. But, know, bruh, or you got these forever Peter Pan dudes, guys, gentlemen that

J Thomas (14:05)
Mm-hmm.

He-Man Woman haters.

J Staff (14:21)
they wanna do is just fly around and never even you know experience the maturation and the pains and joins that come with it. So, you know, I think I just got to a point where I wasn't getting fed. There's no, you know, there's there's a couple of podcasts where I listen to where there's some guys on there and they're talking but they're not like talking about like

J Thomas (14:28)
Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Joe From Work (14:37)
Hmm.

J Staff (14:48)
podcast. I'm gonna shout out shout out to in the conversation. It's a it's a great podcast. It's just two guys they talk and you know they talk about like some of their lives and everything and and they focus on like recapping like stories and media that they watch like VMF and all that stuff but every once in a while this dude named Ali Mohammed he would just he would slip up on some stuff and I'd be like yo I gotta write that down

J Thomas (14:52)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

J Staff (15:17)
I've got like ten quotes of his in a notepad that's just like, yep, I gotta remember that. but there's nothing like holistic where it's just dudes and they're just talking about like how to go through this journey of maturation and also hand it down for us and pass it on to the next generation of guys that, that, ⁓ you know, aren't there yet. So I guess, you know.

J Thomas (15:35)
Mm-hmm.

J Staff (15:45)
If you're getting, you know, know, serve shit sandwiches, you know, go in the kitchen, do some cooking yourself. So I don't know. I mean, I don't know how it, how it echoes on you. What, what do you think about it, Jay? Jay?

Joe From Work (15:52)
That's right, that's right.

J Thomas (15:59)
I mean, that's

perfect. Cause I think what you're talking about is, is the preservation of is creating legacy and the preservation of legacy. ⁓ they're like, have, there are all these different like archetypes of how to organize, ⁓ either people's personality types, behavioral types. ⁓ you know, I think the zeitgeist with a lot of personal development is

three steps to this, five keys to that. ⁓ And one that I heard back in the day during some leadership training was as a man, ⁓ you start as a learning man, young, learning, ⁓ being observant, absorbing information, watching people ⁓ older than you, figuring out how to do it. ⁓

Then you get into what was called the leading man. that's what it was. So leading man. And that's a portion of kind of where we are now. Where I've been for a minute is how, that we've got experiences, knowledge, things like that, how do we lead with that? How do we lead our families? How do we lead our marriages? How do we lead organizations, businesses, things like that? But continuing on from there as we age and mature, there's a, what was called the leaving man.

And the leaving man is someone that's obviously, you know, leaving something behind, leaving legacy. And when you start to contemplate deep and hard about what is the legacy you want to leave, we already have legacy. We've got children, got family, we've got organizations that we've been a part of that were impacting. ⁓ If you're doing any type of volunteering or anything like that, there's there's that type of legacy. There's that type of impact. But I think what you're touching on, Jermaine, is there is. ⁓

less and less of us willing to put in the work to not only create an honorable legacy, but to ensure we leave one. ⁓ There's less of us that are taking the legacies that were given to us or passed down to us and passing that down to our children. So filtering out all the crap, because there's a lot of crap to filter out. We all know that a lot of pain, a lot of trauma, a of, you're saying a lot of wrong

ways of thinking ⁓ that we've got to kind of filter out. There's a lot of generational issues, curses we've got to break. But outside of that, ⁓ we've got to ensure that we're taking the time to be intentional on creating a legacy and then leaving a legacy. And a lot of that has to do with, okay, what are the proper ways to express your masculinity, be a man? ⁓ What are the healthy ways?

Joe From Work (18:54)
especially in 2025,

big dog.

J Thomas (18:56)
Yeah, how to be married to a woman.

J Staff (19:01)
Yo, let me, I want you to get back to that, but one thing that comes to mind, I was listening to a Dave Ramsey episode and this dude called in and he was like, how do I lead my family? I'm a husband. And then I was like, well, when I make less than my wife and.

J Thomas (19:10)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

J Staff (19:23)
And they were like, okay, well, how much do you make? And he's like, well, I make $200,000 a year. We sit here, everybody's like, what? You slouch, get out of here. And they're like, well, how much does your wife make? She's like, three mil a year. And they're like, but the fact that this man had to call the radio show to understand how to be a man in his own house means the script is getting lost. It's getting lost.

Joe From Work (19:29)
you

J Thomas (19:42)
Yeah.

This script's getting lost. This

Joe From Work (19:52)
Yeah.

J Thomas (19:52)
script's getting lost. No, it's not.

J Staff (19:52)
The legacy isn't being passed down.

Or he probably tried with like, he started, you know, taking the advice that's out there now and then realized, shoot, that ain't gonna work in this household. Cause she go look at him like, you know, get your little self out here. But it's that legacy, like he was saying. I didn't mean to interrupt, but I thought that was just a, it was just hilarious story.

Joe From Work (20:06)
Yeah. Yeah. ⁓

J Thomas (20:16)
Yeah. No, no, no, that's good. That's good. Yeah.

Legacy is important. Like legacy is important, especially if you don't want to create a generational cursor issue in your family. So yeah, you might be so, yeah. No, no, that's not money legacy. Not, mean, typically money is generally secondary or tertiary to things that are actually important.

J Staff (20:32)
But it's not just money. It's not just money legacy.

J Thomas (20:45)
primary. And yeah, we live in the West. Yeah, we live in the United States. But I think if most people got a chance to take some time to visit other places, ⁓ realize how little money should matter. Now, yeah, money's got to matter from a survival perspective. Yeah, you got to be able to eat, put a roof over your head and close on your back. Outside of that, you got to be the one that's intentional in determining how much time you want to

sacrifice making money ⁓ to buy the things you want to buy if they're all that important and priorities to you and what you're willing to give up to get that. And that's a part of it's part of the maturation process as part of being a man, as part of being an aunt. But ⁓ yeah, I think what's important with what you're saying, Jermaine, and what we'll touch on and going forward and Joseph, you'll have a chance to touch on it is what I was thinking about was

⁓ creating a legacy and leaving a legacy.

Joe From Work (21:47)
Yeah, I think two of the most important things you said there were proper and honorable. Because trust me, we're all, everyone's leaving a legacy. Whether or not that legacy is honorable, eh, okay, you you have to be determined for a lot of folks. And that's something that is, we talk about having intention. That has to be part of everything that you do. It can't be, I'm gonna talk, I'm gonna talk this talk.

J Thomas (21:53)
Mm-hmm.

huh, huh, good point.

Mm-hmm.

Joe From Work (22:17)
on this podcast, but then, you know, as soon as, as soon as the camera go off, I'm some lazy bump. It can't be that, you know what I mean? It can't, it can't, I can't be doing it for the clicks and my life's falling apart. I can't be doing it for the clicks and then, you know, my Morgan, I'm bouncing. I can't really foreclose on my home. You know what I mean? Like the, the, the amount, think that's what's the reason why it's the perfect time right now. I think all, all, all of us here have realized

J Thomas (22:25)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah

Joe From Work (22:47)
where it is we are in life. We've all got children who are starting to get a little older and you're starting to see, ⁓ they're not learning the things that I learned from whoever it was that I learned it from. Now, it's our job to kind of filter, all right, I learned what I learned, but there was some, there was some shortcuts that were taken on me. There were some.

J Thomas (23:01)
Mm-hmm.

Joe From Work (23:13)
That was actually the wrong type of advice. And so we got to filter that to make sure it's it's in a way that's going to still be beneficial to this next generation, especially with the world that they're growing up in. Because as as you all well know, the way we were parented is frowned upon today.

J Thomas (23:16)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Joe From Work (23:31)
I don't necessarily agree with that. I think there's a lot of throwing the baby out with the bath water when it comes to how harsh dads need to be. Because let me tell you something, Boys need fathers, all right? You're not gonna get a young man with a father that's not kind of hard on a man. Boys need that. And a lot of what the world tells them right now is that no, you...

J Thomas (23:44)
Mm-hmm.

Joe From Work (23:57)
It doesn't have to be that way. can be easy. You can be soft and still be masculine. And I don't know.

I don't know the right way to approach it for everyone, but I know what works in my household for my children, you know? And, mm-hmm, that's right, that's right.

J Thomas (24:13)
Right. You got to know your kid. I think that's the struggle with parents. don't know their kids like that.

J Staff (24:19)
Mmm.

You gotta learn them. Learn your kids.

J Thomas (24:21)
they have. Yeah, you got to learn them. They have kids. Let them do their thing. Like, you know, part of the the harder, the harder part of homeschooling is learn knowing your kid well enough to know how they learn so you can teach them how they learn. That's the problem with schools. That's the problem with a lot of households is if you don't know the bent of your child.

Joe From Work (24:23)
That's

right.

That's right.

J Thomas (24:43)
You don't know how encourage them. You don't know how to discipline them. You don't know how to calm them down when they're angry or when they're, you know, lift them up when they're sad. You know, you don't know how to engage them. You don't know how to stimulate them. And then you're just, you're operating on a manual that you were given probably by your parents ⁓ that's severely outdated and more detrimental than being severely outdated. It's not the manual for your child.

Joe From Work (24:47)
Right. That's right.

Hehehehehe

Exactly, exactly.

J Thomas (25:13)
Like the manual for your child is being written every single day when they wake up. Yeah, it was bad news for you. So yeah, like you take the time to learn your kid, then you know, okay, here's how I have to put it. Like I don't have to discipline Julian the way that, you want to take that kid's name out. I don't have to discipline Julian the way I see other parents disciplining their kids.

Joe From Work (25:17)
That's right. I'm going to say that manual was barely for you. OK. Yeah. Yeah. ⁓

J Thomas (25:41)
assuming that they're disciplining their kids the way their kids need to be disciplined. I no idea. But yeah, but go ahead, Joe. I didn't mean to interrupt.

Joe From Work (25:45)
need to play it right exactly that that is a big assumption there but.

no, it's all good. That's a perfect segue. Cause that's the thing, right? You I've got, you know, kids of all ages, man. I've got a 13 year old, nine year old, five year old, one year old. there, yeah, man, baby girl just hit one. Yeah. I don't miss baby. No. And so it's like, yeah, you know, you definitely, when you learn,

J Staff (26:03)
one year old ⁓ man I forget I forget

J Thomas (26:13)
It's potent, it's potent.

Hehehehe

Joe From Work (26:20)
who your child is and who they're becoming and why they're becoming the person they're becoming. It does change how you have to interact with them. There's a whole level.

J Staff (26:32)
Hold on, wait, Hold on,

hold on. Before we get too deep, I gotta ask you. You about to go get that vasectomy, bro?

Joe From Work (26:39)
I didn't need to, all right, because when they yanked that last little girl out, I said, go ahead and grab them, floppy and tooth while you in there. you already running around up in there, go and pull them out, go and pull them out. Yeah, she already in there, they see section, she already cut up open. They're like, I was, I waited till she was already in a surgery. And I said, look, y'all are already there.

J Thomas (26:49)
You had her do it? Yeah. You need this podcast. No, you need this podcast, man.

J Staff (26:50)
⁓ yeah.

You're to be a gentleman, You're supposed to be a gentleman.

J Thomas (27:01)
No, dude, that causes

so many more issues for her later in life than it will for you if you didn't.

Joe From Work (27:10)
Well...

J Staff (27:12)
You're supposed to be a gentleman, sir. Okay? ⁓

J Thomas (27:13)
That's why we got the podcast. That's why we got the podcast.

Joe From Work (27:16)
Yeah, y'all. You know what? We should have had

this pod going last year. All right. Yeah, we should have had it last year. Yeah, well, that's true. That's true. Look.

J Thomas (27:18)
didn't have the podcast when he was doing that. But you ain't calling nobody either. Like, hey, man, we're gonna make a decision, man.

J Staff (27:21)
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, when you're ready

to do it, this is for the audience. When you're ready to do it, be a gentleman. All right, it's a 15 minute procedure. In, out, snip, snip, you're done.

J Thomas (27:32)
Yeah, John.

Joe From Work (27:33)
You're right.

Yeah, don't wait

till she's pregnant again. like, oh, okay, we gotta do something about this. All right, know, no, nope, yeah, no panic, no panic snipping. Yeah, yeah, you gotta make sure. Because in all honesty, right, that was the plan. And then your boy got sloppy and the plan changed. So, that was the plan. But that's okay, you know. It's one more thing.

J Staff (27:43)
You do something about it. a gentleman.

What man?

Joe From Work (28:06)
that I can use to educate others. ⁓ Because let me tell you, for all the fathers out there, if you feel that you are done, snip it up. Make sure you, yeah. Yeah, when there's enough legacy out there, definitely take care of that. But, know, the...

J Staff (28:11)
No! ⁓

J Thomas (28:11)
Yes.

J Staff (28:20)
when you've had enough legacy, when you've created enough legacy.

J Thomas (28:23)
Yep.

J Staff (28:35)
I didn't mean to interrupt you, man, but I had to.

Joe From Work (28:36)
you're good, man. just

wanted to just double back on the this is just the perfect time. You know, this is the only time I've been this age with successful friends of this age who have the longevity of their lives, the whole the stories of how we got here. You know, so I think this is the only time it could have happened. I don't think I could have done this 10 years ago. And I don't know that I'll be able to

do it in the same way 10, 15 years from now. You know what I mean? And so I feel like we all understood the assignment as soon as it was brought up. I really truly believe that the last retreat that we had in Portland was so much more than we initially thought it was going to be. I do believe that we sparked something in one another that built this, you know, because

J Thomas (29:27)
Mm-hmm.

Joe From Work (29:35)
We've talked before, but it was different. You know, I can't put my finger on what, cause we did the same thing we do. We always do where we get together. We chill. We talk about life, you know, and then we, and then we go back, you know, to where, to where we come from. We meet up somewhere nice and it, but it was different. It was so much more intentional. There was so much more purpose to bettering ourselves. And I think that that inspired, well, for I'll speak for myself.

J Thomas (29:39)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Joe From Work (30:05)
that inspired me to be like, well, man, you know what? Not only do I wanna be better for me, but there's people who might look to me for that sort of encouragement. And I wanna be able to make sure that every time they look over at me, I'm a shining example. I don't ever want to have somebody look at me and they'd be like, damn, thought Joe was, I thought he was gonna be able to handle that. I don't want that. Always, so it's not just for me, much like this podcast, right? It's not just for us.

J Thomas (30:15)
Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

and

Joe From Work (30:34)
I wanna make sure that people who need this can get to this. And I think that's a big part of the type of legacy that we would like to leave is lasting not only for us and our families, but for our extended family that can also benefit from things like this.

J Thomas (30:40)
Mm-hmm.

J Staff (30:54)
Yeah, yeah, no, I mean, it's so interesting that we all had the same kind of epiphany at the same similar times. And I think, man, I know when we started talking about it, that we were starting to roll the idea around, when I first talked to Jared about it, Jared was a little hesitant, but also I think you were a hesitant, right? I think you were a little hesitant.

Joe From Work (31:22)
Mm.

J Thomas (31:22)
You're talking

about the podcast? ⁓ yeah.

J Staff (31:24)
Yeah, initially.

Yeah, you're little hesitant, but you know what? Jared's a shy guy. You know what saying? He don't want a lot of attention. And, hey, and I'm here for it, but I know Joe, when Jared told you about this, he was like, give me a mic and let's go. I need to be on today.

J Thomas (31:28)
Mm-hmm.

Joe From Work (31:31)
You

J Thomas (31:31)
Am I?

Maybe.

Joe From Work (31:39)
Hehehehehe

J Thomas (31:44)
Let's go. Let's go.

Joe From Work (31:49)
You

J Thomas (31:50)
Cause we

brought it up when we were leaving Portland. We brought it up and we're like, yeah, we're going to do this. So Joseph be ready. And I don't think, I think maybe Jermaine was probably the only one that was like, yeah, we're actually going to do it. And in my head, I was like, yeah, we could do it. Maybe we will, maybe we don't. But I got to thinking, yeah.

J Staff (31:52)
Yeah.

Joe From Work (32:06)
Hehehehehe ⁓

J Staff (32:09)
No, I went home that weekend and was like,

we need to get IP, we need to get emails. I need to get my LLC together. I need to like, okay, well, what do we do about, how do we market and like, I mean, but that's just how my brain works. I mean, you guys know what we want to treat. It's like, what we're going to do next? What are we going to do? So, you know, my brain just ⁓ always goes to,

J Thomas (32:18)
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe From Work (32:18)
Yeah.

J Thomas (32:25)
Mm-hmm.

Joe From Work (32:38)
And I'm thankful

for it, by the way. All right. I really am.

J Staff (32:40)
But

Look, I've always, I've always, you know, vulnerable moment for you guys, but I've never thought I was really good at anything. Like I never thought I was ever really good and creative about anything. But I like to help people create. Like I like, I see so much, I see talent in everybody else. And I'm like, I want to help take my crazy noodle brain.

excuse me, and make them better. And I think that's always how I approach things. I don't see myself as like, well, I'm a master speaker. like, no, no, I know some real charismatic people. You know what saying? And I want to put them on to where it would give them a place to where we can talk. I may know how to facilitate a conversation maybe. But as far as charisma,

J Thomas (33:28)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

J Staff (33:41)
I know some charismatic brothers. And so, you know, what we need now is just putting it out to the world ⁓ in a positive format, in a positive way so that it can be consumed. And people, man, people will just want to just, I don't know, be better. I mean, there's so much just, there's so much, I can't even watch the news anymore, man. Like, I mean, real talk, man. I can't even.

J Thomas (33:43)
Mm-hmm.

Joe From Work (33:51)
Right, right.

Yes. Yes.

J Staff (34:09)
I can't even like enjoy my social media anymore. And man, we just need to be more light. More light, more light, more light, more light. That's all I'm saying. More salt, more light. the little part, you know, we're gonna, we're gonna be real. I mean, that's one element of, I think of being an artist.

Joe From Work (34:11)
There's a place for healing out there.

J Thomas (34:21)
Mm-hmm.

Joe From Work (34:25)
Yeah.

J Staff (34:33)
is being real. We're gonna be real. We're gonna we're gonna we might say some foolishness stuff but again we're on a journey and we're trying to we're we're we're we want we want our we want to give you our authentic story so that people know you ain't gotta be perfect to be an unc. You ain't gotta be perfect to be to mentor somebody. You ain't even gotta be perfect to to to to do what's right but

Joe From Work (34:42)
Right.

Hmm.

J Staff (35:02)
Every day just do a little bit more right. That's all we're saying. Hey, you ain't gotta read the whole book. Read a page. You ain't gotta start the whole business. Maybe just, you know, learn a new skill. You don't have to, you know, get a whole team to mentor. Just start with that little boy down the street that comes by and plays with your kids and teach him some good.

J Thomas (35:05)
Mm-hmm.

Joe From Work (35:11)
There you go.

J Thomas (35:16)
Mm-hmm.

Joe From Work (35:29)
Mm-hmm.

That's that's funny that you say that man my son today There's a kid that he's one grade below and he's going to he was going to a different middle school than then max was and so He came over today and max is out there and they were you know so I went out there to county and I keep an eye on him a little bit and this woman was running by and he was in the way and ⁓ when she

J Staff (35:32)
Yeah.

Joe From Work (35:56)
was trying to get by him. Like I guess he didn't see, you he's behind her. But when she was going by him, he didn't say anything to her. He just kind of moved out of the way. And I was like, Hey man, whenever you're in somebody's way, you always say, excuse me. I was like, especially if it's a woman. All right. And I was like, he was like, well, I never have to say, excuse me anywhere else. I said, well, you have to do it here. So I said, I always want to see you doing that, you know? So it's funny that you mentioned that. that, mean, that's sometimes it's as easy as that. Sometimes it's just,

J Thomas (36:11)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

J Staff (36:17)
Yeah,

I know.

Joe From Work (36:25)
a little nudge where he felt heard or seen or at least felt that somebody was trying to help him. And that might be all it takes for him to want to seek that in whoever it is in his father and whoever it is in his life, you know? And it's funny because we don't really think about, and I don't think about those as like real teachable moments, but I guess it could be, you know?

J Thomas (36:34)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

J Staff (36:48)
take that moment and apply the butterfly effect of that one boy learns to say excuse me to every woman and now every woman he meets he treats with just a little bit more respect and that shows the world to treat women with respect and thus creates a cycle. Yeah, exactly.

Joe From Work (37:01)
a little bit more right

Mm-hmm next time his mom rolls through and he's like, excuse me mom. She's like, ⁓ Look at mr. Manners and then he likes that response

J Thomas (37:15)
Yeah.

Joe From Work (37:15)
and all of a sudden Right, right. Yeah, you're right

J Staff (37:16)
He likes that response.

And all of a sudden he's telling his boys, no man, don't disrespect. And then, you you prevent him slapping up on some girl. Cause he's like, I'm going to respect women because I know I need to say, excuse me. Like we don't know how things can, for the good or for bad. Like, so even for the bad.

Joe From Work (37:22)
Hehehehe

Right, right.

J Staff (37:46)
and we're not gonna mention the, you know, we're not gonna mention a lot of politics, but there's a politician now that's very famous. And I didn't know this, but even back in 2008, this politician was on a very famous ⁓ evangelical TV show. And I didn't even know that. Like, you know, I've been in the Christian church spaces in a while, for a long while.

But even then, like, I didn't even know that he was on TV like that. And the fact that those little moments, and now you extrapolate to now, you know, the whole Christian community is kind of, you know, a certain segment of it is captured. And by this, by, by this, you know, famous person. And so for the bad, can be.

Joe From Work (38:21)
Yeah.

Right.

J Staff (38:43)
or for the good it can be, where it's you teaching this kid or, he's, now he's a, you know, a politician out here advocating for women's rights. It can happen. It can happen. And we wanna just be, we wanna put that good out more and more every day. And so.

Joe From Work (39:00)
Right.

Yeah.

J Staff (39:10)
Um, but I mean, but I know I think I had mentioned just a few minutes ago, like what it means to be an on this podcast is not only for the young bucks so that we teach them, but it's to create that community for the other onks so that they know they're not alone. And. You know, they can, they can, they can have somebody to call me. We're going to put the number out, you know, um, in the beginning of the park and the podcast and at the end, but,

J Thomas (39:26)
Mm-hmm.

Joe From Work (39:27)
That's right.

J Staff (39:39)
You what makes an unk is you gotta be real, man. You have to be real, you have to be authentic. You have to want to bring your whole self to bear. Like, we don't need, like, I mean, you kind of vaguely mentioned this, Joe, as far as like being perfect or, you know, or being held accountable. And that's what we want, like.

J Thomas (40:03)
Mm-hmm.

Joe From Work (40:05)
Yeah.

J Staff (40:06)
We want to hold people

accountable. We want to break the stigma of that word as being a negative. It's not a negative. Accountability isn't negative. you don't, you, learning doesn't come from wins, they come from losses. So in order to progress and learn, you have to take a few L's, but it's what you do with that and that accountability.

Joe From Work (40:13)
Mm-hmm.

That's right.

J Staff (40:35)
helps turn those losses into learnings. And so we want to encourage everybody, you gotta be real. If you're an unk or a young buck trying to be an unk, you gotta be real. And then also you gotta be ready to mentor. You gotta be ready to pass it on. Ain't no gatekeeping here. We don't do that. Ain't no gatekeeping. Look, if we got a good idea, we gonna share it.

Joe From Work (40:55)
Yeah, yeah, exactly. But no gatekeeping, man. What's the point? What's the point, man?

J Thomas (40:59)
What's

the point?

J Staff (41:05)
I mean, know like, shoot, you know, we're all, we've all been doing different things and we're in different places in our careers. And man, we're gonna share the tools. We're gonna share the play. We're gonna share the mission. No gatekeeping. If you need to learn how to set up an LLC.

We're gonna break it down in one episode maybe. If that's what the people need. If we wanna learn how to talk to a little, get a phone number or something like that. We're gonna teach you how to run that mission here. But all in all, whether it's business or it's relationship, we want a mentor. And we want...

every commitment and every will, every art that joins us on this journey to be a mentor and to share the, share the wisdom. And so, ⁓ I mean, but you can't have any of that without having love. You've got to come with love, come from a place of love, come from a, come from, you know, a loving heart.

J Thomas (42:10)
Mm-hmm.

J Staff (42:17)
And I know as guys, it's a little, you said love, you cried, you know? Like, man, as an old man, I probably cried more in the last two or three years than I did in my whole life, Like, look, don't let a good Disney movie come on. And it be about fathers or something like that? Oh, no. Right, exactly.

Joe From Work (42:30)
⁓ yeah man, it's-

Hehehehehe

J Thomas (42:39)
Mufasa... no...

Joe From Work (42:40)
Dude, let me tell you, it doesn't

even need to be that. I was watching a UFC fight in Brazil, okay? Two unknown Brazilian fighters, they're fighting. There's Americans in the crowd that are booing because it's not exciting. But they're in Brazil and they love their countrymen so much. They started chanting, we love red, we love blue, for the, know, the above corners. That made me cry, bro.

J Staff (42:46)
Yes! yep. My father was there.

Joe From Work (43:07)
I was like, that sort of togetherness for their countrymen, like, no, don't boo these men, they're trying their best out here. And we love them for that. I was like, you know, this show, right? This show, right? You know? See, I've learned to embrace all my, cause let me break it down like this. I used to think that being like happy and jovial all the time, like, I don't need to feel those feelings all the time. But what I realized is your feelings,

J Staff (43:07)
BLEH!

J Thomas (43:14)
Mm-hmm.

J Staff (43:16)
I'm

Joe From Work (43:36)
are all part of the same thing, kind of how your hand is, Where this might be fear or embarrassment or shame, happiness, sadness, but it's all part of your hand. And so how I look trying to pick up something, but I'm not using happiness, it ain't gonna work. And it's like, I had to realize, no, I have to experience, because a lot of people try to avoid shame, embarrassment, hurt. People don't like feeling those feelings.

J Thomas (43:56)
Mm-hmm.

Joe From Work (44:06)
and they do everything they can to try to avoid those physical, let me tell you something. Again, you're not about to be picking up nothing without all your fingers. It doesn't work without those emotions. You're not gonna learn nothing if you don't experience that, figure out why. That's a good thing that you're feeling that. If you're feeling bad about something, guess what? You probably should be. The emotions are raw. They're involuntary. If somebody tells a joke that's funny to you, you're gonna laugh. You're not gonna be able to not do that.

J Thomas (44:26)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

J Staff (44:35)
Yeah.

Joe From Work (44:36)
And nobody would tell you, don't you take happiness from that. How stupid does that sound? And so why would anybody say don't feel anger about a certain thing or don't feel shame about a certain thing or don't feel sadness about a certain thing? We have to learn as men to embrace our feelings, You were talking about coming from a place of love. You gotta have a mindset of love before you can even feel that. I think it comes easier for us, obviously, because we're married, we have children. I think those things,

kind of increase our capacity for love a bit, you know, and it's easier to express it, but not for everyone, you know? And there are men out there who are in our same situation, but still don't feel that love. And that's another thing, man. Don't always think you got to seek that love from the outside, man. Love yourself, because I'm gonna tell you something. If you don't love yourself, it's gonna be hard pressed for you to let somebody in to love you. And it's...

J Thomas (45:08)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

J Staff (45:27)
mmm mmm

J Thomas (45:32)
Mm-hmm.

Joe From Work (45:35)
There's so many bad teachers of love out there, Whether that's what we saw our parents doing, maybe we didn't have the, maybe we had just bad relationships, but there are so many harsh, bad lessons of love out there. And we really have to.

J Thomas (45:38)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Joe From Work (45:52)
take our time in understanding what love is to me, right? How I like to be loved. And if I'm trying to love somebody else, how are they receiving my love? Cause I could think that I'm showing you all the love I want, but that's because I'm loving you the way I like to be loved. And it might not feel the same, you know? And so being cognizant of that, man, I really like what you said there, man, about love. That is definitely a very strong trait, I think.

J Thomas (45:57)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Joe From Work (46:21)
you know, and somebody in our position at UNK should have, you know, not to interrupt, but.

J Staff (46:25)
You gotta have it, No, no, no, you're good. Hey, and we're gonna even stop saying not to interrupt, because we interrupt all the time with each other, Hey,

J Thomas (46:25)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

J Staff (46:35)
and in a couple episodes, we're gonna have the bourbon. Bourbon, when we drink, well, I know, it's gonna be tequila for Jared. We're gonna be sitting here, so we will be doing a lot of interrupting, but today we're doing this nice and stoke, hold sober, because, you know, we start off on the good foot, so.

J Thomas (46:42)
Yeah, man.

Joe From Work (46:45)
Yeah.

J Thomas (46:48)
Hmm.

Joe From Work (46:51)
nice intro,

you know, people need to get to know who we are, what we're about, what we're, what we're trying to bring to the table. Yeah. You know, I, I definitely think those, those traits are important, you know, owning your mistakes, you know, and admitting your faults, working on those faults. Cause it's one thing to be like, yeah, I don't do this well. And then it stops right there. You know, I don't like people who they're quick. Yeah. They're quick to tell you that the mistake they made, but they don't do anything else. It's like,

J Thomas (46:58)
Mm-hmm.

J Staff (46:59)
Yeah.

J Thomas (47:13)
I I'm not going to do it well, ever. Never going to be good at it. well.

J Staff (47:15)
You

Joe From Work (47:20)
Well, no, that's not helping at all. You know, I also think they kind of listening to annoying who it is that you're speaking to is very important. You know, you got to understand the mindset of a 20 year old versus a 30 year old versus a 50 year old. Very different early should be, in my opinion, you know, and most times when you come across those age groups, you are going to find differences in the way they think about certain things. And that sort of mentoring.

gets a little tough because.

In that space there, you don't want to give answers. You don't want to force an answer on anybody. You want to lead them to a place where they can figure out that answer for themselves. Because it is going to be different. A lot of us view the same picture completely different way. Do remember those optical illusions where it's like, no, it's two women. No, it's two dolphins. But that's kind of life a little bit, where we could be looking at the same thing.

but I see something vastly different than you do. And that might be okay, because maybe you need to get something different from that painting than I need to get. So I would rather not tell you what to look at, but I do wanna lead you to a art gallery so that you can see these paintings and get something from it that you can build off of, you know? And I think that's very important because like on one hand, right, my ego wants to say, I helped you. I gave you this information and it helped you and you're better for it. And now I feel.

J Staff (48:24)
you

J Thomas (48:46)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. ⁓

Joe From Work (48:51)
but that's not what it's

about, man. You can't have selfish motivations when it comes to this sort of stuff. Because that'll always just end poorly, I think. You need to come again, man. I'm telling you, Jermaine said it best, dude. It's gotta come from a place of love. Because love, I think, is the most authentic feeling we feel, man. I think it's more authentic than anger. I think it's more authentic than anything that we feel because love...

Our lexicon is too limited to express what that is, but we know it's real and it's palpable. We understand. I think that that's the best starting place that you can have is that love. Cause I think it's the most authentic place to start. Everybody knows what love is. Even if you've never had it, you still know what it is because you ain't had it. Like that's how powerful love is, Is that you can know what it is without ever experiencing it.

J Thomas (49:40)
Mm-hmm.

Joe From Work (49:48)
Now you're probably worse because of that, but hey, that's why we're here. All right. You know, it's, it's, it's all love all the time. It's a, that's, I say that kind of like, you know, I watch a lot of streams and it's funny. I'm, unking all those streams. Cause you know, it's, it's young folks watching these games and all this, on Twitch and stuff like that. And I'm just, I'm just drove from work. what's up? Yeah. I'm, unking there, but I be, drop that knowledge no matter where I am, you know? And it's funny how

J Thomas (49:52)
That's why we do.

Mm-hmm.

Joe From Work (50:20)
Receptive they are it it really tells me that there's a need for this Because you know we're watching let's say some stream play call of duty. Oh, it's fine. Okay. You got that kill But then all of a sudden an offshoot conversation I start about how to love your wife better is more interesting in the in the chat log than what's going on on the screen and That tells me a lot about what people are seeking out here, man. They want connection

J Thomas (50:42)
Mm-hmm.

Joe From Work (50:48)
They want to feel like they're part of a community and we can offer that here, you know? And I think we can offer it in such a positive, with positive messaging and with positive information and with positive ways of looking at life and thinking that can really, I don't know, it just, makes me feel good thinking of the possibilities of that. I really like.

J Staff (51:12)
was gonna hand it over to you, Jared. I'm saying like, what, you know, we've got the listening, we've got love, we've got being real, we've got the mentoring.

J Thomas (51:20)
Man, yeah, I think all of that

flows. mean, it's a whole big package. I think starting with love at the core of it ⁓ is essential. because if love is the driver, love is the motivation, it's everyone's best interest in mind. The only reason we're doing this is to help grow other people. People want to be in a better place than they are in right now.

whatever, however that looks, whatever that is, and they're seeking it. And that's what Joseph's talking about. They're seeking something. And ⁓ what would be the point of us going through and having the experiences we have going through what we've gone through, being blessed the way we've been blessed if we didn't use it to bless other people. So if we're called to be vessels, we got to pour into other people in some way, shape or form. And kind of like you were talking, Jermaine, when you brought up ⁓

J Staff (52:17)
Mm-hmm. ⁓

J Thomas (52:19)
just kind of in your comings and goings, you can be a light, you can be a blessing, you can

give a word of wisdom. ⁓ You can offer some correction to a little kid. those things, those things remind me of the parable of the sewers. ⁓

I used to know where that was. Matthew, middle of Matthew somewhere. Yeah. Matthew. I want to say.

Joe From Work (52:40)
See it ain't so easy.

J Staff (52:41)
Yeah.

J Thomas (52:48)
13, something like that. But in the parable of the sower is you're the sower. And so the parable of the sower is the main person in that sowing the seed is just sowing seeds. So he's just scattering seeds. He's just scattering seeds. He doesn't know exactly where they're going. He's not putting one seed here, putting one seed here. He's just scattering seeds. And so there you go, 13, 1.

J Staff (53:08)
Matthew 13 one.

Also founded Mark four but you know, I mean, Jim and I Jim and I help me out here.

J Thomas (53:16)
It's synoptic. Okay, yeah,

hey, look, we got to learn that AI one of these days. But yeah, you know, that's, think that's the purpose of all of this. That's the purpose of us getting together. That was the purpose of the trips that we've been taking, ⁓ the purpose of wanting to take this to another level. ⁓ That's been...

Joe From Work (53:22)
⁓

J Staff (53:23)
Hey, hey.

J Thomas (53:40)
I don't, you know, honestly, don't know personally, I don't know any other way to operate. I have no, I have no other way of operating. Like, like I tell you every time I come to Houston Joseph and I call you up, I'm like, Hey, let's get together. That's love, man. That's not, that's like, I know this brother don't drive. Every time Sam asked me, was like, she was like, has Joseph ever come to the house? I was like, I think the last time Joseph was at the house was like senior year high school. When you came to that like graduation party that

Joe From Work (53:46)
Hmm.

Hehehehehe

J Thomas (54:10)
I was like every other time I've had, I've had to go to him. But that's love. That's because of the relationship we built. That's like, know, Jermaine, we haven't, I think when we talked on video chat and you were like, I think this is the first time we've ever video chatted out of all the times that we've talked and stuff like that. But, you know, love, love being the driver.

can drive you to do the most things, good and bad. Fear, like you mentioned, Joseph, can drive you to do a lot of things, but not as much as love can. Greed, ⁓ envy, jealousy, those are vices, but like you're talking about happiness, ⁓ peace, those things can drive you to do a lot of things, but they're not all encompassing, like love. Love can...

Joe From Work (54:42)
Hmm.

J Thomas (55:08)
drive you to create. Love can drive you to destroy. Love can create life and love can destroy life. And I don't want to get, I don't want to wax too poetical, but I think you guys touch. don't even want to go into my own stuff just because like it doesn't, it doesn't touch as deeply as love. Yeah. They're characteristics of a nonk that you should or need to have.

⁓ Like you said, just of the introspection, ⁓ having an accountability for oneself, discipline, being on a constant journey to learn, ⁓ prioritizing certain things over your self, your self desires, motivations, emotions, things like that. ⁓ Being able to reflect on self.

And I think that's why self-mastery is such a large component of this. Part of self-mastery, probably one of the first things of self-mastery is what you mentioned Joseph, was just loving yourself. Love yourself, you can posture yourself to be able to master yourself. And you don't see self-discipline as something that's negative. You see self-discipline as another way to love oneself. ⁓

Joe From Work (56:12)
you

J Staff (56:34)
Mm.

J Thomas (56:37)
That's

also how you know if discipline is coming from love, that's how you know someone loves you when they're disciplining you. They're correcting you. ⁓ yeah, correcting you. is we don't care. You don't care. Yeah, sure. Go do that. No big deal. But, you know, go do this. Go do that. Yeah, I don't care. But discipline shows concern. It shows the person sees something in you.

Joe From Work (56:47)
Hey, real talk, real talk. Cause if I didn't care, I wouldn't care.

J Staff (56:51)
I wouldn't care.

J Thomas (57:05)
that's more than what you might see in yourself. so, ⁓ I mean, honestly, I think we could probably end on that component. If there is a component that you have to have to be an unc, as we call it, and be genuine in who we are and who we're trying to be and be genuine and authentic and how we're trying to move and impact people's lives, it's gotta come from love. Simple as that.

J Staff (57:35)
Cool. I think it's good to leave it off on that. we call it, you know, man, this has been the best one yet, man. We went deep with this. So, ⁓ you know, for the audience, if you want to go deeper with us, if you want to talk about love a little bit more, let's reach out to at sowhereyouworkat.com.

J Thomas (57:48)
Yep.

J Staff (58:05)
or any of our Instagram handles, which will be somewhere on here. And we are going to reach out and we answer all emails, personal responses to personal emails. And yeah, we just continue doing this.

Joe From Work (58:11)
Somewhere on there.

J Thomas (58:11)
Put it in the comments. Just remember to like and subscribe.

Joe From Work (58:16)
Yeah, I-

Yeah, I would actually like to

know if there's other qualities that the people out there think that an unk should have. And I definitely think that should be a nice discussion in the comments. else do y'all think needs to be applied to your own personal regimen to be a successful unk in the way that we're talking about?

J Staff (58:48)
I Hit us in the comments, hit us in the emails. We might have to. We might have to. We might have to. I have to. I have to change the domain name. hey, we've talked about that. We might have to.

J Thomas (58:48)
Yeah. I think we might have to change that. where you work at, man, I think we have to change that. We got to get something a little more on theme. Trying to make the connection.

Yeah, we did,

There was just too much, man. There was just so much going on. Yeah, we had it. Yeah. Yeah.

J Staff (59:08)
Yep, yep, yep, Hey, watch, I'll put that in the notes to check. But for now,

that'll be the email. We'll get a change here in the next couple of weeks. We'll get it taken care of. The admin will admin. So.

J Thomas (59:26)
gonna

go ahead.

J Staff (59:28)
All right, brothers, and I love y'all.