Ep 11 John Wick Or James Bond

We start with a high-stakes movie debate that turns into a real talk on strategy, tradeoffs, and what makes someone truly dangerous. The energy shifts into everyday leadership as we break down car maintenance basics, teaching kids practical skills, and the self-care habits that keep us steady as men and fathers. 
• Picking protection teams through John Wick, James Bond, and the super-spies logic 
• Why you never want certain people hunting you 
• How neglected oil changes and fluids kill cars 
• The old green truck story and learning by doing 
• Passing down car basics to sons and daughters 
• Using “YouTube University” to build DIY confidence 
• Car wash routines as quiet time and mental reset 
• Noticing sounds, vibrations, and warning signs early 
• Self-care for men as physical, mental, spiritual, relational health 
• Building intentional friendships that challenge and support you 
• Gym, journaling, goals, prayer, and community as stabilizers 
• Cutting DoorDash, cooking healthier, and getting honest about habits 
Like and subscribe on all platforms. 
Check them out on Facebook, Black Homeschool Group of Fort Worth. 

Transcript

Welcome And What We Cover

SPEAKER_04 0:00

Welcome to the Unk Talk Podcast where we seek to inspire uncles and empower nephews. It's your favorite host, Jermaine. This week we're taking it easy and just having fun. We debate who's better, John Wick or James Bond, and discuss car maintenance. And then we also get into my old green truck that I had in university. Stay tuned for that. We hope you enjoy the conversation. And remember, like and subscribe on all platforms. Let's jump right into the conversation.

Two Teams Hunt You Scenario

SPEAKER_04 0:33

Man. Dude. Anyways. Alright, let me hit you up with the the controversial take here. Alright. We're coming out the gay hot. We're coming out the gay hot, bro. We're coming out the gate. Okay. Here we go. It's choose two groups of people to hunt you. Okay. So if you can't see, this is.

SPEAKER_00 1:01

Go back to you shrink it.

SPEAKER_04 1:03

At the max.

SPEAKER_00 1:04

Oh, oh, it's still vertical.

SPEAKER_04 1:07

Yeah. Yeah. So if you can't see. Yeah. So in this corner, it's Liam Neesome, John Wick, then Zelda Washington, and Jack Bauer. So Jack Bauer, Brian Mills, John Wick, and then Robert McCall, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:29

Equalizer, right? Then you got in this group, you've got Marky Mark as like the sniper dude. You've got Taylor Rack, but that's uh the Thor guy.

SPEAKER_02 1:42

But he did uh Yeah, those movies are kind of fun, man.

SPEAKER_04 1:46

You got Mike Manning, you know, the the Washington Down people, and then you have um Michael B. Jordan, John Kelly. Then up here, you've got basically the um the rock reacher. Um then this one is uh White Girls. Is that Terry Cruz? Oh that's Terry Cruz, yeah, yeah. Yep. And then on the last one, you got all the super spies. Jason Borde, Ethan Hutt, James Bond, and then Derek Taylor or E.

SPEAKER_02 2:32

This is easy.

SPEAKER_04 2:33

So you gotta have two of them to save you and two of them to hunt you down.

SPEAKER_02 2:38

This is easy. This is easy. I'll go. This is easy? Okay. This is easy. This is easy. Clearly, clearly, you're gonna have John Wick and the crew with you. All right. Yeah. You're definitely you're gonna have them. And then you gotta have James Bond with you. What are you talking about? Yes. What are you talking about? That's easy. Those bums in the bottom left corner, they're they're done quickly. Okay. They're out of here quick. All right. And if I'm looking at the top left, it's really only the two on the right. Okay. Reacher and Michael Jack. Look, The Rock, buddy, I love you. I mean, I love you, Dai. You, you know, you're a good, you're a way better actor than I thought you would ever be. I uh I enjoy your movies. The attitude era, the raw era. I mean, come on, bro.

SPEAKER_00 3:30

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:31

Stone Cold.

SPEAKER_03 3:32

You hold it.

SPEAKER_02 3:33

You were such an awesome part of my childhood there. But, dude, every one of your characters is getting explosive. You can't rock bottom James Bond. What are you doing? Get out of here, dude. No, no, no. That's that one was a it at first it was like, oh shit. Then it was like, oh no, no, no. You just showed me, I don't even care who was else on the team. James Bond and John Wick. Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 3:54

Yeah, y'all with me. Just those two. Yeah, y'all with me, bro. I might even take those two versus the rest of the field. Alright, like.

SPEAKER_00 4:04

Come on, man. Because the bottom left was mostly just military. Like it's just mostly like tactical, you know, tactical warfare kind of stuff. So, I mean, you know, maybe they're good at hunting, but again, you know. James Bond.

unknown 4:19

Ah.

SPEAKER_00 4:21

John Wick.

SPEAKER_04 4:23

John Wick? You're not gonna what?

SPEAKER_02 4:26

Good close contact. No, he's saying, like, you're not gonna fuck with like you're not gonna.

SPEAKER_04 4:29

Oh, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_02 4:30

Yeah, yeah, like none of those dudes are even gonna bro. And then like, I mean, you know, I didn't give credit to Jason Bourne. He'll he'd whoop everybody ass too. But it's just, boy, that that was a that Bond team was sick, alright? That Bond team was sick, man. Anyway.

SPEAKER_04 4:49

Look, look, look, I had a little bit of of the dilemma on this. Because I wanted to rock Michael J. White, that group, but then I was like, alright, I'm gonna take the super spies as well. So I'm gonna take James.

SPEAKER_02 5:11

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_04 5:11

I'm gonna do both. I need my clandestine services, and then I need some people to kick some doors down.

SPEAKER_02 5:18

Maybe if Michael J. White will spawn.

SPEAKER_04 5:21

Oh, oh, right, right, right. I need I need somebody to do both. You need both. So you need your like, all right, we need to go kick this door down group. But then you also need the hey, we're gonna send him in that room and he's gonna blast everybody.

SPEAKER_02 5:42

I know. I I'll tell you this, man. I wouldn't want John Wick hunting me, dog. That's that's that's that's gonna be a problem, dude. His group hunting you. The bottom left group hunting you, I think, is fine. The bottom right group, but okay, okay, well, hold on. Let me let me all right. Top right had had Mon and Born. I'm just going to enter Elva and Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_04 6:11

I'm gonna pull it back up because this is let's see if I can. I'm gonna see if I can if I can zoom it in a little bit on what we're looking at. Alright.

SPEAKER_02 6:30

Man, it's my brain, it's just an if-then statement in my brain, though. Because it's like, if John Wick's hunting you, don't pick that team. Like, I can't have him hunting me, I can't have Bond hunting me. I can't I can't do it. I just feel like I feel like they would they would dominate. But I I like I like that you had the top right and the bottom, the top right, though. Because I'm like, all right. If I'm looking at Bond versus John Wick, okay. Mm-hmm. Let's see if I can let's see if I can do that. That is uh that is a that's a Dinsel's what, like 65? Well, let's let's we're still using movie magic. We're still this is this is movie magic version of all these guys. Okay. Okay. You can see that a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 7:31

They're all fucking just the old squad.

SPEAKER_04 7:33

Oh no. And that was that was what I was saying. I need I need the Jason Bourne, Ethan Hunt, James Bond tracking you, right? Like protecting me being the anti-like trackers, and then I need some motherfuckers that can kick down a door and do some kung fu. Like, because your logic is sound. Your logic is sound. I'll take him over John Wick. He's gonna, he's gonna, he's gonna kill John Wick. Like, these two, like, you know what I'm saying? Both of them are coming from the stuff.

SPEAKER_02 8:10

No, what what character, what movie is this John Falcon Chapman from? I don't know what movie that's from. Man. It doesn't really matter. It doesn't matter because I even if I watch the whole movie, I'm gonna be like John Wick damn near a superhero, y'all. All right. Come on, man. Like, we've seen these he's a boogeyman, Dag. I wish I could remember the word now.

SPEAKER_03 8:38

Yeah, like Papa Gazale. It's John.

SPEAKER_02 8:44

I like your squad, dude. I I I like your squad because I'm gonna be honest with you. That top right, man, that is a that's a nasty ass squad, bro. That top right.

SPEAKER_04 8:59

Falcon rising. Oh, former U.S. Marine Special Operations, suffering, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay, okay. He's still nice.

SPEAKER_02 9:08

It's funny. They're all they're all about to say, they're all the same character there. Uh at the top left, they're they're all really kind of those ex-military. Yep. Yep, yep, yep.

SPEAKER_04 9:20

So you know what, man? Like all of these dudes down here. Bums. Bums.

SPEAKER_03 9:27

Yeah, that bottom left needed some help.

SPEAKER_04 9:29

I don't know why they're respectfully. Respectfully to Michael B. Jordan. Respectfully to Michael B. Jordan. Because in that movie that he was in, he got beat up way too much. Like, he took way too much damage. I forget what movie it is. It's like the Netflix. Um what is it?

SPEAKER_02 9:47

Michael B. Amazon Prime. I can't remember the the name of it, but uh B. Jordan. But I'll tell you also, man, um Denzel's character. I know he's looking like Denzel right now in that picture.

SPEAKER_03 10:02

But in the in those movies, in those movies, he's turned clothes on. Yeah, I don't know why they in those movies he's he's legit, though.

SPEAKER_02 10:13

You know what I'm saying? You know, those movies, he's got the you know, 10 seconds, you know, he's he's he's almost supernatural as well in his movies.

SPEAKER_04 10:21

But I but I've got that with Jason Bourne, though. But I'm you're not wrong, you're not wrong. And and I've got a younger body. Yeah, well, but and I've got younger too. Because now I can just like he's gonna walk in the room. And and shit. Ethan Hunt dodged a freaking nuclear war. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:43

I'm like, if anybody's actually a superhero in these series, it's that movie.

SPEAKER_04 10:49

If anybody's a superhero, it's the Ethan Hunt character.

SPEAKER_03 10:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:55

Because he's gonna walk up looking like Liam Meeson and do the face reveal and shit. Exactly. Because like it's funny, I'm looking at the and I'm like, I just I got thrilled by John Wick, man, because he's just so amazing in those movies, Doug. But like, Mr. 24 over there, I'm honestly not even sure why you own this poster, brother. Like, well, dude, we forget, dude. Jack Bauer. Was he legit like that? I I'm I'm speaking. Jack Bauer was legit via non-experience with with his show, man.

SPEAKER_04 11:25

I well let me let me let me put it this way. I got through three seasons in in like three days. And that was a good one.

SPEAKER_02 11:34

Um blacklist on here, man. But um missing. Well, uh, I like your list, man. I'm I'm uh yeah, all of them could be gone. Every single one of them. You first, Marky Mark, okay? You first, uh well, he's the sniper. He was a sniper. I don't give a shit. Yeah, I know, and it was alright, you know. But you know, he's come on, man. Stop, Marky Mark. I don't even understand. That's not the type of movie for you. I don't I don't like him in that role. It's kind of like the I don't want to get into it, man. But like the guy who plays Hawkeye. Um yeah. Um I can't remember his name, man. I I would I would like to give him a shout out. I want to just talk about him like he's above because he's not. He's a really good actor. I just don't like him in the superhero role. He he don't he don't do it. He don't vibe. But like in Arrival, perfect. It was it was it was it was perfect, you know?

SPEAKER_04 12:40

Well, they they darkened about it. It's like uh Black Widow, too.

SPEAKER_02 12:44

Like they kind of nerfed up Black Widow too.

SPEAKER_03 12:47

Yeah, it it's those are those are characters that just versus like the Hulk. Like, yeah, like don't be in these movies.

SPEAKER_02 12:58

I know you're canon, but yeah, in the comics, I'm gonna make you say again. Jarmie Renner. Jeremy Renner, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. He got into that really bad wreck uh a few years back, man. He got messed up. Yeah. Dude, I but he's good now.

SPEAKER_04 13:15

Thank thank God for that, man. Yeah. But yeah, man. I I saw that, I was like, this is difficult, but I think absolutely You may have sold me, man. You know, but I may have sold me. One side I need the clandestine, like, walk in the room, shoot everybody, and then I need like one side to be the door kickers or the defensive door kickers to be with. Because one team is staying with me. Like, I'm gonna mix this up. I'm gonna I'm gonna keep the rock and Michael Jai with me, and then I'm gonna keep Ethan Hunt with me, because he's got fairy dust and sprinkles on him. He never dies. And then I'm gonna send the other guys to go kill the guys that are hunting me. Like, I'm gonna send the rock out, I'm gonna send Reacher out.

SPEAKER_02 14:07

Like, yeah. Man, I didn't think I was gonna like that Jack Reacher show, man. And then it was like, you know, you know, Sunny went to watch it. I'm like, yeah, mate.

SPEAKER_03 14:21

He's kinda funny too.

SPEAKER_02 14:23

You know, you look at each other and say, oh, you know, I I I really I really liked it, man. I I didn't think I was going to. It's a fun show, it's a good

Car Maintenance And The Green Truck

SPEAKER_02 14:32

show.

SPEAKER_04 14:32

Well, then it's hey, I got a question for y'all. Um I I had a um uh I had a colleague of mine um talk to me, and it was a lady friend, and they were talking to me about how they um like blew up cars, basically. Like they just ran down cars, like didn't get oil changes. Okay, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Didn't change fluids, drive them into the dirt, right? And then I remembered that this this young lady also like had dudes that they were she was dating as well, like, and and was like married to dudes, like throughout that time period. These cards were blowing up, and so um so now my question is this how well okay so my question to them was like, well, like if if you had like dudes around you, like how is it that your cars were blowing up? Like, didn't anybody like change your oil or change your tire, change your brakes? Like, nah, nobody did. And I was like, how are you guys transferring that information to your sons? Because all of us have sons here. And I'm pretty sure, like me, I haven't changed a tire and no, no, no, no, I've changed a tire. I haven't changed a tire and changed oil in a long time. Like since my 20s, right? I mean, I mean, you you know, my my green truck, uh Jerry. Shout out to to Big Green. I had a Nissan Dotson 96 d A S-E-N. Bruh, I'll find a picture of it, maybe put it up, but dude, it maybe in post or something. But um, um, and it was manual too. It was stick shift, it was a little bench seat, like that's it. It was a bench seat. That's it. It's literally a bench seat, the shifter, a steering wheel, and maybe AC if you treated it right. Like, that was it. Hand crank windows, bro. Like, this was before all the tech. Oh shaking the whole damn desk. Bruh. And and like on that car, I learned how to chain my own oil. I learned how to like chain my brakes, I learned how to um, you know, check my fluids, like right, work on your car a little bit. You you learned the bait. I heck, I changed the alternator on that car. Like, my dad was just like, put it up and just figure it out. And and that was one of those, one of those events where it gave me the confidence to just do that kind of stuff, right? To know that like if I took the bolts off, I can put them back on. That kind of confidence versus just looking at it like I mean you look at cars and you're like, oh my gosh, what do I start now? You know? So what are y'all doing now to like pass that on? Like, pass on the basic knowledge of like maintaining a car.

SPEAKER_02 18:07

Well, if y'all don't mind me starting, um, uh in indirectly, I guess, is is how I'm giving that to him. Because as a dude who doesn't, I don't mess with cars like that, bro. You know, I uh I grew up with computers, alright. Like I that's I don't I don't I don't mess with cars. All my brothers, my dad, they're they're car guys. They can fix anything. I they're like good enough that I can call them and be like, it's making this sort of noise. And they're like, oh no, you need to all right, reach inside, you're gonna fill for you.

SPEAKER_00 18:44

You know, they really wasn't Thomas fixing up his he had a car, yeah, a car he a project car he was fixing up.

SPEAKER_02 18:50

Yeah, I thought so. Yeah, exactly, man. So it's they're really gearheads, man. And so

Teaching Kids With DIY Mindset

SPEAKER_02 18:55

there's a little bit of that that I can rely on, but the the indirectly that I'm talking about is anytime we need to fix anything, make anything, we always just, hey, let's look this up, you know, YouTube university, whatever it is. So we you know built bird houses, or we've done we so we've done just other projects using that method. So I guess my assumption is if it comes to that, that is the same method we would use for you know, figuring out all that, you know, that that stuff. You know, those those three things you mentioned are the three things I can do, dude. I can change the tire, I can change my oil, I can change the brake pads, bro. That that's right, I can jack the car up and get those things done. That's about it. Everything else, you know, we're going and I'm I'm trusting somebody else sitting, you know, fucking me over on price and yada yada yada, but you know, you deal with that when you do. But um, that's that's that's my take on it, man, because uh not only do I not work on it so they can kind of like see me doing it, which is the traditional way that that's normally done. Um, you know, it's funny, you know, my dad had me out there when he was doing all that stuff on the car, too. I'm sitting there trying to chase butterflies and just do everything else but look at what he's doing, you know. I'm just I use his uh you know the little bitches you lay on uh to go under the car with the wheels. He's as a big ass skateboard, man. I wasn't trying to learn though. Right, right. You know, but uh you know, but my bad, because now I gotta go to somebody every time there's something, though, which that's a bit of a drawback because while my brother can buy one set of tools that can then fix all those problems, it it fucking pays for itself uh, you know, after after a few uh breakdowns or whatever, you know, which is which is a cool skill to have, man. I'll tell you that. It's a really cool skill to have. Um, you know, so I don't have that to pass to them, but the how to obtain information properly and then apply it to life, I give them that and hopefully we'll use that for those uh eventualities when they when they get here. Yeah, what about you, Jay?

SPEAKER_04 20:57

Well, I mean your your your son's a little younger, so you're early on in this journey.

SPEAKER_00 21:03

Yeah, we've um I mean just pointing around. Yeah, I mean I've taken point in a room both of them.

SPEAKER_05 21:10

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 21:13

I've showed both of them. We've got a we still drive our 07 for uh Chevy Child Razor. I drive that one. And um I've point it just kind of showed them what different components of it are. Um and with with the homeschool group, we have the intention on having like a session where we have the kids um a car pointing different things out, like you said, showing them how to change a tire. I don't know if that'll change in the future. Right, right. When it comes to those airless engine vehicles, cars, you know, there may or may not be value in that in in intimate that intricate detail of understanding how internal combustion engine. Works.

SPEAKER_04 22:01

But I think unless you're gonna be a mechanic.

SPEAKER_00 22:06

To Jose's point, though, as long as they have that spirit of okay, if something's broken, I can try to figure out how to fix it myself. That I usually do um around the house. And so anything around the house for the most part, I'm gonna try to fix it first, unless it's just totally over my head and then I'm calling somebody, um, or I just don't feel like doing it. But it's you know, anything using it as an opportunity to teach ultimately. But um with cars specifically, you know, maybe Julian went or Reagan hasn't necessarily shown any kind of interest in cars um outside. Like she was interested in brands and she'd be able to rattle off brands and models and stuff like that, make some models that she's we're driving. So now there is a portion of car maintenance that she needs to learn, like the things we're talking about, um, transmission, oil, fluids, tires, and and we go I take away with me like Joseph Santa when we go to the tire boob and get stuff done. But um that that that do-it-yourself is that came with oil changes and transmission. I think that was more than when cars were a little bit more like uh ubiquitous, like easier to work with.

SPEAKER_02 23:28

Now cars are just so yeah, that's true too.

SPEAKER_00 23:32

Yeah, so specifically different to makes and models and stuff like that. Some of it is uniform, but and it's still pretty easy, I guess, if you wanted to do it yourself. But it's it's similar to car washes. Like I wash my car myself just for the exercise, but I mean most people would just want subscriptions at the car wash and they just go, you know,

Car Washing As Quiet Time

SPEAKER_00 23:53

you know, just pay for whatever you feel like children.

SPEAKER_02 23:57

That's my subscription to the car wash.

SPEAKER_04 23:59

That's a subscription.

SPEAKER_02 24:04

It's fun the first few times, and then it turned into work. Like, wait a minute. This is no longer a joyous occasion. Like, yeah, I know. Welcome to my world, buddy. I thought it was fun too.

SPEAKER_04 24:13

Look, man, what you gotta do is you get your cigar. Okay, first and foremost, you get your cigar. That's everything, Jermaine. You get you get right, exactly. And you get your favorite drink of choice. My drink for that is a Bloody Mary or a ranch water. One of the two works. Savory, hydrates you, that kind of thing. And then you just like you send everybody inside, and then you're out there by yourself. Best best quiet time you'll have. I'm telling you. It's the it's it's almost like being on the toilet. Like, but it's even better because you're outside, nobody's bothering you.

SPEAKER_00 24:51

You can't speak too much of a toilet because then your legs start getting up. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 24:59

It's time to get up with the tingle. It's a tingle time.

SPEAKER_04 25:01

Time to get up. All right. Yeah. At least outside you're kind of moving around. You get you put your podcast in, or you just kind of, you know, smoking cigar. And by the end of it, you're half drunk. But that's okay. That's okay. And your car is half clean. But you got like also half sober, it's fine. Evens out. You got you got 30 minutes, 45 minutes, and just straight quiet time. I used to wonder why the OGs' cars, why they always be at the car wash. That's why. They was getting away from everybody. They was getting away. The OGs, they was like, you know what? My car is gonna be clean, and I get my quiet time. Go out there, they play their old tunes, got their cigar. And just be there. Just be chilling at the car wash. Why are you hand washing, bruh? Why you hand drying? Come on. Like, like, we got a dryer here. Nope. Time. Extra time. Man. But no, I just had to think about that because, you know, I mean, I I fortunately, unfortunately have a son that's he's into cars.

Kids Cars Awareness And Emergencies

SPEAKER_04 26:07

So like, so like I'm not gonna really have to worry about that with him as far as like like here, he comes down and he's like, Dad, you see that C17? I was like, that that Corvette over there? Yeah, I see that. No, man. It's the C7 Corvette Special Edition Sing Ray. That there's only a few of them made, man. Like, I didn't know that, bro. But well, hey, Jared's met my son. He knows. He's he's a my son is a car guy.

SPEAKER_05 26:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 26:43

I'm I'm a person that loves cars. I'm a guy that loves cars. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. My son is going to be a car guy.

SPEAKER_02 26:52

That's hilarious.

SPEAKER_04 26:55

You know, so I just, but at the same time, um, you know, I want to teach my girls too. We just I want to teach my I want to teach them like, hey, what's what's good? You know, like what's what's like if you hear that rattling sound, don't ignore it.

SPEAKER_00 27:15

Yes, you know, I think that's the most important thing is the um is teaching them the car, the car ownership part of it, maintaining a vehicle, and then making sure that they can get out of an emergency situation. So, like you're saying, if they if they get a flat tire on the side of the road, they can get out, change it, boom, boom, boom. And then just basic stuff so they're not getting taken advantage of at a mechanic shop. Well, mechanic shops aren't really like that anymore. At least I I don't think they are. Maybe they have some prices.

SPEAKER_02 27:48

I guess it probably I'm about to say, I guess it could depend on where you go.

SPEAKER_00 27:51

That's true. Depends on where you go. But just kind of the basics so they don't get taken advantage of and stuff like that. But yeah, that awareness thing, like getting the feel for something. Like there are times they even ask my wife, I'll get in the car and I'm like, hey, do you feel this like this vibrating over here? Right, right. Do you hear this rattling? Like, you know, do you feel this when you break? Do you feel this when you accelerate? Asking a lot of questions, especially in the vehicle that I don't that I don't drive very much. Um, when did how long has this been going? Right. Exactly. A three-day sound, or is this a three-week sound?

SPEAKER_05 28:28

Right.

SPEAKER_00 28:28

What's happening?

SPEAKER_02 28:31

Oh, I don't know. Just falls apart around you.

SPEAKER_04 28:34

You just doing this, and you're like, wait, how long has I been doing that? Oh, three weeks? Like, you ain't said nothing in three weeks.

SPEAKER_00 28:45

Do you have another one of those uh those takes? Do you have another one of those? The thing we just did on the with the the groups. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:57

Oh man, I was gonna I was gonna hit up one more.

Good Dad Tribe Clip Reaction

SPEAKER_04 29:00

There's a there's another podcast.

SPEAKER_01 29:01

Maybe what's really missing is in the taking care of everybody else.

SPEAKER_04 29:06

Uh the we want to shout out the uh the good dad tribe uh tonight. They they they had some content up. Um I figure we get a listen. It's a little long take, but we can we can listen to it and then we'll we'll we'll comment and then um we'll go back into it. So let's see what they got. All right, let's see what they've yeah. Shout out to the good dad tribe. They're they're a local group out here in Dallas. This um I believe they're in Dallas. Yeah, they're in Dallas. And you know, they just kind of you know doing like us where they're just kind of sitting up and having conversations. Um, but they had an interesting conversation I thought was cool to jump in on. Let's see what we can hear about.

SPEAKER_01 29:52

Listen, is in the taking care of everybody else, we have to remind ourselves that you are a person too. You're not just dad, you're not just boss, you're not just husband, but I can I can go to zero and take care of you.

SPEAKER_06 30:11

The most important thing to me right now is the gym and my mental health, because both those things are requirements for me to be good to my job is a lack of point into yourself.

SPEAKER_01 30:28

If you can turn that around, maybe that is the solution because we know when we hustling or when we working like that, we know we're working to a detriment. You feel it in your body, you feel your mind leaving, like you say, the conversation you and Derek have. So maybe what's really missing, and that's powerful. Maybe what's really missing is in the taking care of everybody else, we have to remind ourselves that you are a person too. You're not just dad, you're not just boss, you're not just husband, but I can't I can't go to zero and take care of you. And wait till the world hears that you try to take care of you.

SPEAKER_00 31:03

Did it repeat? I think it repeated.

SPEAKER_04 31:06

Yeah, I think well, well, you know how well some people do, they do the they put the end at the beginning

Self Care For Men Who Lead

SPEAKER_04 31:12

and loop it. That's all it is. But the point of it was you know, is that self-care for men, you know? And well, there was a couple points that that they pointed out that I was wanting to get y'all's feedback on. Is one was um self-care, you know, and taking care of your and and taking care of your mentals, your physical one dude. The the guy on there, I I can't remember the gentleman's name, but he was like, I gotta go to the gym and I gotta go, I think he said he gotta go to therapy or something like that. Like he's gotta do two things in order to be able to show up, you know? And you know, it it comes back to you know, part of what we're doing here, right? Where we're making giving that space for men to say, let them know, like, hey, it's okay for you guys to for you guys to take care of yourself, but how are you guys taking care of yourself? You know, and this is gonna lead into our next season. So how are you guys taking care of your your yourself so you can be a hundred percent?

SPEAKER_00 32:24

Yeah, I mean that's a necessity, especially as you get older and just kind of more gets added to your life. And if you if you're you know you're lucky or fortunate enough or whatever, blessed enough or whatever, you you hit big milestones like getting married or having children, um, even more gets put on you, even more weight gets put on you. And if you're of someone that wants to step up into those roles, because yeah, you can get married, yeah, you can have kids and just continue doing the same thing you've been doing. But um if you want to be effective and impactful and a value add on those roles, then yeah, necessitate some self-care. Um it even goes back to what we talk about knowing that self. And so the things that you have to do individually aren't the things that another guy has to do. So you've got to figure out what it is you specifically need to re-energize, uh re-energize or decompress, or um, you know, if you're at a point where you gotta get your self-worth and self-esteem back up, how do you do that? Those aren't the same for everybody. Some people are uh are good doing volunteer work, some people are good going to therapy, some people are good journaling, some people have other creative outlets that give them that balance, that yin to their yang that they need in order to be the person that they need to be, an effective father, effective husband, or just uh, you know, maybe you're a manager boss at your job or something like that. Um, you're leading people, and you've got to show up in many different ways. Maybe your profession is a high stress profession, um, medical or something like that, or even military. The the muscles that have to be strong in all of those places the mental muscle, the psychological muscle, the physical muscle, the spiritual muscle, all of those muscles need to be strong, and all those muscles need to be worked out. And um, back in the day, Jermaine, we used to we were talking, and I would I would I remember kind of saying one thing to you about um how well you you were doing like in your like you say in Mr. Peter job, and then we're talking about uh about life simplic life simplification. And I remember saying something like it was like three parts, just three parts to life, um focusing on like your career, which you know we're strong in, um the relational areas of the life, so social life, relational, your relationships, people you're in, uh kids, family, all that kind of stuff. And there's the spiritual side of it, so you can even throw in um you know mental health and stuff like that. But it was it was very it was like three things. And I think we have a tendency to do is overcomplicate and add more to life than what needs to be there. Add more to life to where you can't are not able to function as efficiently and live as efficiently um as you need to be able to, because so much just gets added to life that you don't necessarily need. Um but the guy was just like, you know, what's important now, getting a physical workout, getting my, I think what did he say is his is therapy. So his mental health, physical health, and his mental health. And then I'd also throw in there some spiritual health too, um, to focus on. And then um relation relational health, because we're relational beings, and so I think uh being intentional about your relational health is good too. So it's not so much good for a man to be alone, says that in the Bible. Not so good, not good for man to be alone. It's good for men to connect, it's good for humans to connect, um, good to have other people in your life. Not a lot, not too many. Have the right ones, have healthy ones, have the ones that have the ones that have the ones that breathe life into you. Very important that build you up, that sharpen you, um, that push you. Have those people in your life. And so that's not that many. That's spiritual. What is that? Physical, he said. Um, it's therapy, so that's mental. There's a relational in there, and then I don't know, maybe one more that we said. And that's all you really have to kind of focus on.

SPEAKER_02 36:59

Just manage that, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:00

Yeah, that just shouldn't. I'm not saying live a small life, not saying that at all. Um strive to live an uncomplicated one. Yeah. And being healthy in those areas helps you live an uncomplicated one. Yeah, yeah.

Intentional Friendships And Accountability

SPEAKER_04 37:17

I'll tell you, one thing that that has enriched my life, this is gonna be one of those flower moments. I love to look, you gotta give people your flowers when they're when they're around, man. You know, one of the most enriching relationships that I've had has been me and yours relationship, Jared, as far as like the enrichment mentally. I know, right? Hey, Joseph, you're gonna you'll get there. You'll get there. You'll get there. You've already made a big impact in a short amount of time, so don't worry about it. You'll get there. But you know, as far as like having that that that competitive ally, right? Like like we compete, but not really against each other, but we hold each other accountable to be better than we were yesterday. So, you know, having that partnership has been tremendous for me to be to for me to become the person that I am. And you know, quite frankly, like it, it's it's helped me, it's helped settle me to be um, you know, more than probably what I probably would have been without the relationship. And so, man, that's that's what you really want. Oh, I appreciate it. Uh we can kiss later, you know. Um, but it but at the end of the day, you know, those and and it hasn't been without intention. The relationship. It's been intentional. It's it's it's no different than us meeting here every Wednesday, Wednesday night, to just, you know, now we're just we're shooting the shit, but this has been intentional and we're creating something, right? And the same thing with friendships. You have to be intentional, you have to you have to be vulnerable enough. And vulnerable just is is just code word for letting people in your business, you know? You have to let it let it let people in your business enough to be able to see those inside parts of you and say, hey, look, I know you think this is cool, but right there, you can work on it. You can be a little better in that regard. Or is this serving you? Asking you the question, hey, does this element of your life serve you anymore? Um so uh I you know I I can I can wax on poetically about this all night because Joe response.

SPEAKER_00 40:04

Hmm? I was saying Joe, did you you I don't think you responded to that one?

SPEAKER_02 40:09

Oh no, no, no, no. Those are beautiful answers,

Journaling Goals And Community Health

SPEAKER_02 40:12

man. I'll uh I'll actually answer the question though, okay, about what I've been doing to answer the question.

SPEAKER_00 40:22

I'll answer the question. Um been hitting the gym. Definitely hitting the gym. We want to get in there. It's not an everyday thing. It's enough to get my heart rate up, it's enough to get me moving, keep me flexible, keep me strong. Um mental health, been journaling, still journal. Um from a relational health standpoint, you know, we've been growing the homeschool group. And so those men I've been meeting with. Shout out to Tribe. Yeah, the Tribe. Uh check them out on Facebook, Black Homeschool Group of Fort Worth. Uh but meeting with those guys, um, having breakfast with them, going to the gym with them, meeting them at different events. They saw the Super Mario Brothers movie this uh this afternoon. I've got a few other things going on. We've got the career fair that's coming up, but that's social health, so it's good to have other you know connections and see other healthy families, healthy marriages and things like that. And just kind of helps you surround yourself with people you can, you know, bounce ideas off of and bounce thoughts off of, and you see another dad and how he interacts with his kids, and it gives you ideas on you know what you can do, or you see another husband showing affection to his wife, and you kind of think, oh, okay, well, you know, that just it just gives you other images, positive images to see. Um on the spiritual health side, um still praying. I could read a lot more, um, but haven't been deep in my word like I used to, but having more one-off conversations with God, one-off conversations. So, like before I went and talked to my talk to my neighbor the hour or so and have a conversation with him, I had to just say a quick prayer. And so I think um I'd say those are definitely um the ways that I've been trying to stay healthy. We've had our goals for the year. I don't know if y'all still have y'alls. We still got our goals. So setting goals uh helps you uh just continue to feel aspirational and uh feel achievement and so and feel like you're making progress. And so that's another healthy thing, healthy um habit to have. So to answer the question, those are the three main things. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 42:57

Alright, now Mr. Joe, you've had some you've got some life-changing stuff. You've been you were you're adjusting some life stuff. So what do you what you got going

Diet Changes And Family Support

SPEAKER_04 43:07

on? What what's what's you know?

SPEAKER_00 43:09

How are you keeping it healthy?

SPEAKER_04 43:10

How you keeping it healthy?

SPEAKER_00 43:11

You're losing weight too, man.

SPEAKER_02 43:15

Yeah, man. I've uh it's uh I I've really been focused on on health, man. You know, I was letting it get a little bit out of hand. I already got a very comfortable in my lifestyle, very comfortable with the ease of access of just anything I want. There's no one telling me no. I just, you know, give me everything. And then it was like, uh I mean you can do this, but you got about 10 minutes left on the blank. You know, you know, so I was like, all right, so I stopped that my you know, my diet was a big problem, you know, big problem today. So I just I stopped all the DoorDash, all that crap. I just cooked. But then when I cooked, I had to cook right, cook healthy. Because, you know, for you know, weeks now. It's eggs, some spinach, some berries, you know, just trying to just mix it up with different silver, you know, things like that. Chicken. And it's like uh it helps, you know, I had to get used to being hungry. You know, but there's there was there was physical health, but there was a lot of mental um constraints I was putting on myself that, you know, kept me in that behavior pattern. And I had to kind of break out of that. And so there was a mental component to it there that uh you know was was tough. But that's why I love the family man, you know, because they'll they'll really they'll really support you when they know you're trying to do something man. It's really kind of cool. Kids are very cruel but they're very honest and I really like the fact that they're very honest man because you know Jerry with some of progress they'll let you know when it's oh wow you know you're looking okay and you can believe that you know what I'm saying if I ask you know I ask wifey she she'll tell me yeah no matter what it looked like you know what I'm saying so uh that's been real real nice you know uh on the relational side man I'm gonna tell you dude I I've I have a lot of friends I ext you know I have a lot of extensions a lot of different different things and we just had a nice karaoke night um a week back so it was really great to see all the old faces mixing with the new you know faces from this season of my life and it was really really awesome we had a really good time so that was a real good boost in that whatever that energy level is for for that thing for the the social aspect of that was really cool. Obviously meeting every Wednesday with y'all is you know that that's probably where my my spiritual growth is is really coming from is uh the talks that we have on here you know before during and after um that's really been helpful helpful helpful helpful in my life man dealing with some of that karaoke energy um here's the thing about that for the third I will never need to save any of that energy because it is infinite all right it is it is infinite there is a there it'll it'll never I mean it might it's it's like a star it might burn out in a couple billion years but I gotta I got a good reserve yeah on that I'll save my voice that's what I'll do I'll just gotta I'll just whisper from that one this is actually the ASMR um get your tea sweet tea untuck ASMR coming out uh couple weeks gotta branch out baby you know but um sure those are really the things man I'll tell you for my mental bro like because I'm a I'm a gamer man and it's really cool to be able to share that shit with the fam bro like it's cool to get on like the shit by my kids like you know and then we do our thing and then my homies and we do our thing and wifey and I but we play this farming simulator game but I I love it. It's the greatest thing ever but I love bonding with something that we all can be you know into because when you're trying to bond on things that are not interesting it's just it's

Gaming Bonding Ramen And Shoutouts

SPEAKER_02 47:30

harder to do that. You know what I mean? So that that's been that's been real fun.

SPEAKER_04 47:35

So yeah man those those are things I've been doing to stay healthy in every sense of the word I guess to to get the best me out of me you know because I'll tell you this it was me who was holding me back I'll I'll tell you that much I didn't I didn't uh want to admit that for a lot of years boy but it was me holding me back putting all the little excuses up of why it's okay to do this or why I can't do this and uh I didn't want that to catch up to me more than it already had you know what I mean your biggest enemy is yourself man that's your biggest enemy yeah yeah that's your biggest op your biggest your biggest saboteur is yourself bruh man also shout out to ramen I didn't realize it spikes your blood sugar so much had a bowl of it today my blood sugar was crazy I had to like so no more ramen for me just the broth yeah okay okay the egg noodle or the rice noodle that's a good question I think it was the egg I think it was the egg noodle egg nood and I told him I was like throw a little extra cabbage in there just so that you know I get a little more roughage nope it didn't do shit man it was like public service announcement all right I came back and the broth was really good like uh it's that place down the street from Johnny's chicken and waffles shout out to Johnny's chicken and waffles I'm about to say it's not like you should have been eating there look that that's not look that you're good though that's our place I know it is man the waffles are delicious the waffles I don't know what they're doing they're putting magic in them but they're like the best waffles I've had period like sh like shout out to Johnny's chicken and waffles in Fort Worth um cool people um cool people working there too cool people the other I man we'll we may do a live event there I think that'll be cool do something live you know maybe maybe what we'll do is we'll tag team with one of the uh the other podcasts and maybe do like a group you know live event there dude I think that'd be awesome so okay get those dads up that we just