Ep20 Physical Health Is Mental Health: Real Talk on Vitality at 40

Chapters

0:00 Cold Open: I Thought I Mens Health

1:32 Welcome to Men's Health Month

1:47 Off the Couch, Onto the Domino Table

4:51 Back From the Studio: Push-ups & Vitality

5:34 The 20% Stat: Men and Movement

6:13 Facing Mortality + Discipline at Home

8:22 "Incremental Progress": The Focus Word

9:50 From "Pretty" to "Big Cute Boy"

11:51 Legacy Is the Push-Up

12:29 How Contagious It Is

13:35 Why I Needed a Locker Room

16:41 The Magic Number: 150 Minutes a Week

17:42 Where Black Men Land + What We Maintain

20:10 Train to Live, Not to Look

21:42 Nutrition Is the Other Half

25:08 What Maintenance Takes

28:13 Close: Back Next Week

Synopsis

Jay Staff opens Men's Health Month from the road — still in Austin, but off the couch and around a domino table, tiles clicking under the whole conversation. This is where the Unc Talk Podcast's men's-health arc begins: Jay, Joe, and Jared trading honest talk about bodies at 40 while they play. The thesis lands early and never leaves — you're not training to look good anymore, you're training to live.

The hard mirror is a number. Around one in five men report zero physical activity, and the uncs put themselves on the wrong side of it without flinching. Joe gets vulnerable about it: he went from the kid who played every sport, "feeling good, looking good," to what he calls "big cute boy" — and he misses being desirable, misses vitality. It isn't a flex or a complaint. It's a grown man saying the quiet part out loud at the table. And the crew doesn't dodge the part that stings — heart trouble hits Black men hard, and a sedentary life is one of the few levers they actually get to pull.

The reframe is small on purpose. The focus word for the year is "incremental." Ten push-ups in the closet while you pick out clothes; a set of squats while the microwave runs. The magic number turns out to be friendly — 150 minutes of moderate movement a week, the kind that cuts heart risk by 30 to 40%, and that's just a walk, a bike, a run. Better still, it's contagious: a wife who's disciplined with her food, kids who climb on the Peloton, a house where one person moving gets everybody moving.

The honest catch is that most of these men learned to train in a locker room, and doing it alone is the hard part — which is exactly why they're doing this on mic, together. Eat to fuel the work, move a little every day, and let the people around you pull you along. Recorded as the opener of a two-part men's-health conversation that picks back up next week, this one's for any uncle or father at 40 who's ready to train to live, not just to look.

Transcript

Joe from Work 0:00

Oh, so this whole taking care of myself is actually more than just doing some push-ups and set ups, bro. And that's what going on. That's what really that's what really was like eye-opening about it, you know, because I thought I knew about health and no, I knew about pushing weights around. I didn't know about health. It's the whole composition. It's the what I was gonna say is that difference in two pieces trying to ooh, nice. The difference in trying to work out for a type of of strength or a type of uh bulk or whatever, versus like, no, I'm trying to live. That's a whole different way of exercising that I'm doing.

He's Jared 0:49

Absolutely. It completely re-esh was incremental progress, incremental change. And that's what I took as okay, like I'm sitting here in my closet thinking about what I like may want to wear or something like that. I can just get down and do 10 push-ups. Yeah, yeah. Ah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? I can I can do that real quick. Yeah, yeah. Or, you know, I might throw something in the microwave for a minute or two. Okay, let me while my stuff is heating up, let me just get in, you know, something. And it's like finding those.

Joe from Work 1:17

It's not, it doesn't have to be okay, going to Hello again, and welcome to another episode of Uncle Talk Podcast. I'm your host, Jay Staff. We're in Men's Health Month, so we want to wish all uncles, fathers, and even some of the nephews out there happy men's health. Be sure to take care of yourself. Today we have another episode for you. We decided to do something different. We're still in Austin, but we decided to take a little break from the couch and go to the table and play some dominoes. So if you hear dominoes clinking on the counters, or even if you hear it called random 10, 15, or 20, I think there were a couple 25s in there. Just know that we're playing a cool game and we want you to jump in and enjoy it with us. So we look forward to you jumping into the episode with us. So let's just jump right in. Hey there, what do we got? Oh, that's that's gonna be Oh, you you roasted, man. So you know, this is a little different for us on the UncTalk here. We get to play, we get to play domino. I guess it's me, right? Let's say yes. Uh uh, there's nothing. We get to play a little domino, we get to have a little fun. Oh, what's going on? This is me? Yeah. We get people on counterclock. Yeah, I'm like, that's not right. But I'll I'll take the chance. You know, I'll take the chance. So look at look at these amateurs. Look at the amateurs. Oh, dang, bro. He don't got to bend the pen with me with yet. Oh. Okay, you know what I'm saying? It's the digital age, baby. With the official Untalk Notebook. Coming to stores near you. Uh first bit of merch.

He's Jared 3:30

I even like how it's written. It's not like even in a uh typeface or a font or something. Like I like uh turn turn it over. Yeah, it needs to it needs to be that. Yeah.

Joe from Work 3:45

The actual talk over there.

He's Jared 3:52

Yes.

J Staff 3:53

Oh man. Right, right, right, bruh.

Joe from Work 4:00

Oh my goodness. Oh man, oh man, let me. I'm gonna put it here so we can start the movie. Yeah, I need something to make sure you ain't put with anybody built in. Yeah, well, well, you know, we got video as of this, JJ. You know what? You show right, you show, right? You know, calm down. Oh man, here we go. See? We tend to get in, because that's what this is for future. Keep it in bus. Trying to try to get in. And I getting nothing on there, but it's all good, man. That's all good. I bet you I bet you for the first time. Yeah, you did, man. But man, listen, man. And uh in the studio. Uh, you said whenever you did the push-ups. Straight up, you still do.

He's Jared 4:55

I was feeling good, man. How many did you do with the rope? 10? Daddy's 60. Oh, that was me that got 10. I'm tripping. I'm tripping. I'm tripping. I got uh yeah, man, but it was, I mean, it didn't start off like that, obviously. Um, but um, yeah, it did just like feel nice. Um, just like vitality. Like if you haven't felt vitality in a while in a certain way, like it feels good again to, you know, come back, come back to it. Agreed.

Joe from Work 5:30

Well, it's good to make the time for it, because random statistic of the day, 20%, according to the CDC, 20% of men other than women. Uh report having zero physical activity. So women, you more feel feel more comfortable to like step out and be like, oh, I'm gonna get women working out with the gym. But it's funny you were saying that, oh, I'm gonna take my 10. It's funny you were saying, like, Sam was found time to work out, man. Yeah before you did.

He's Jared 6:04

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe from Work 6:06

That's not even spur, bro. Like, what was she doing, bro?

He's Jared 6:09

Yeah, I think um it was a lot to do with, like you were saying, facing facing mortality in certain ways. And then she's been, um, as far as like her diet is concerned, pretty disciplined about what she puts in her body, things like that. And then as you learn more and you age and you um you learn more about your your body, your system, and how you need to function and do things. Because not all advice and guidance and things like that is gived specifically towards you as a person. True. And so you've got to figure that out. So she was exploring that, and um, just by way of that, was um adding that gym component. Once we got back and settled, now she's always been kind of like the I want to be 60 years, you're 60 years old and you know, fine, and you know, them ladies looking like they're 20, 20 years younger than they actually are, and they're like 75, but they look like they're in their 40s. She wants to be that. And um shout out to that.

Joe from Work 7:13

Yeah, right. Hey, look, bruh, you're looking pretty rainy, bruh. He's looking rainy. Look, I've gotten a jar earlier, shoulders almost hit me in the face. I said, Oh, okay, it's like that, but you're calling you a bigger sharp motherfucker. It's it's not, you know what I'm saying? It looks like you might jump over the table. Yeah, I knew it a lot. Yeah, I knew it a lot. I like that. So, um, but uh, I appreciate that. You got that sleeper bill, they call it sleeper build. Uh but no, man. I mean, that's good to get in and try to.

He's Jared 7:45

But it's that piece about like um if you're like if you're trying to eat right, and then well, everyone in the house, like you gotta bring good food into the house. Right. And then it just helps with, especially if one person, two people trying to eat right, stuff like that. So then okay, she's going to the gym. All right. That means like the kids see her, so they kind of want to be doing some exercising. And the discipline side of it is like, all right, well, if somebody's doing it, and you know, I can do it too. But it was, I think um, when we were coming at, when we were at the end of last year, thinking about what are goals for next year, what are our like kind of our focus words for next year. Yours was incremental progress, incremental change. And that's what I took as okay, like I'm sitting here in my closet thinking about what I like, may want to wear or something like that. I can just get down and do 10 push-ups. Yeah, yeah. Ah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? I can I can do that real quick. Yeah, yeah. Or, you know, I might throw something in the microwave for a minute or two. Okay, let me, while my stuff is heating up, let me just get in, you know, something. And it's like finding those, it's not, it doesn't have to be, okay, going to the gym, because that takes a lot. That was also part of another kind of social development that we were trying to get going between some guys. But um, yeah, like doing just those things, okay. Let me just do some, or let me just do some squats real quick or something. That's a big one for me. And that's like that's all it takes. But then you do that over time, man. Yeah, you look up and you got a whole jumping jacks and squat thrust, doing something.

Joe from Work 9:16

You're like, oh, wait a minute, I'm I'm doing something. Or when you're doing it, you're like, oh, I can blow past the X amount that I normally get into. And you're like, wait a minute. Yeah. And I'm gonna be real real with y'all, dog. Y'all may not have had this same sort of type of journey where like, you know, I played sports all through high school and shit. Like, you know what I'm saying? So I'm I'm pretty built out of high school, you know. You know what I'm saying? Feeling good, I'm looking good. Now, I went from some like pretty sexy, you know, nice, nice, nice uh to, you know, thick cute boy. You know what I'm saying? And you know what I mean. I'm just a big cute boy, all right? I got my personality helps and all that sort of shit. But to remember what it was like to be there, I say fine, like to be desirable physically in that way. I do want that, okay? Because you were talking about that, oh, you know, because to say I want to be that fine six-year-old, I'm trying to be that fine 43-year-old now. I'm trying to trying to get to a point where, cause look, your wife's gonna love you, she gonna like you, she gonna want you, but I want her to won me. You know what I'm saying? I want I want her to be like, maybe the kids gotta stay out in the car about me. I you know what I'm saying? And I want to be able to do that with just a physical attraction. It might be on me again. Not with a wink, uh, it's actually on me. It's on me, go back. Nah, that's not true. That's me. You just put that. Oh, you just you just threes.

He's Jared 10:48

Yeah, you have no five and nothing.

Joe from Work 10:51

That's what we're doing right now.

He's Jared 10:55

Back to me.

Joe from Work 10:56

Yeah. That's what we're doing. Hey, I ain't got shit, dude. That's how we blame this till again. You know why? I'm trying to get my dominoes out, y'all. Let's try to get my dominoes out. We trying to, we I'm trying, I'm trying to be vulnerable. I don't feel safety no more. You know what I'm saying? You know what I mean? I let somebody in. I let somebody in. Um, not again. Not again. Somebody got the double one. Who back, man? Is it double one? All right, let's see what we got. Unless we listen to the double one. No, there's some more out there. You got to trust them. Yeah, I do. I'm just trying to see if there's something. You're not score, but you ain't gonna score on that. Yeah, you know. Uh but go ahead, yeah, yeah. Go get Well I mean, and you know, the the reason why I asked is because you know, this goes into legacy, man. Like, I mean, I'll get on the I feel you. It's the incremental, right? So it's that it's that push-up, doing that little push-up before you whatever, right? I think one thing that really caught my guard is caught me up to even doing something. Man, I get up in the morning, I have a little pellet on, right? And right, you know, I'm being there at work, you know, right. My little one comes in. What are you doing? Like, obviously, I'm doing something. Let me they pick out some ways and they just like throwing them around.

J Staff 12:23

Yeah, yeah.

Joe from Work 12:24

And you're like, oh, okay, I can see what you do there, you know what I'm saying? Like how contagious it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a that's a big one. It's it it gets real contagious as far as like uh. Yeah, that's what I'm like. One of the big ass ones was about to come out, all right? What's going on? Yeah, that is geez. Uh we'll do that 20 day right.

He's Jared 12:52

Ooh.

Joe from Work 13:01

But um, but yeah, man, and then I start started seeing them because I'm like, okay, well uh, you know, I don't know if y'all remember, I don't know if y'all had this, but I don't remember my parents working out until I was older. Oh, never. Like, and I and I hate, you know, but it you think about it, you're like, how much that contributes to your mindset on walking out. You know what I'm saying? I had older brothers, and everybody played sports, and that's where my uh ability to work out came from. But let me tell you also what it did. For a long time, I needed a almost a locker room environment. It was hard to work out by myself. I played sports all three, but you know, and just that's kind of the way, you know, throw on. I'll never forget that second MM album, boy. It's just like that that when I was just a little baby boy, I used to tell me crazy things getting it. It's it's that was yeah, but that really stunted after I got out of all of that, me working out on my own. Tell me, I really needed that motivation, somebody else there kind of knows that I'm trying to get it. But you know, I I really uh needed that. It took me a long time to kind of be able to do it by myself uh comfortably. No, don't cut it off. These are these are rough times, gentlemen. Rough times, bro. Oh, you don't like that guy? I didn't even get it. Hey. Hey, man. Nah, I'm bad, J. Fucker. Am I plugging everybody or do you have a bigger one? Yeah, I was like, even if I don't put the double one, it's still it don't matter. But that's fine. Well, I gotta watch two like man.

He's Jared 14:48

Uh just hold your man, I guess. All right, man.

Joe from Work 14:50

Yeah. Black man? Yeah.

He's Jared 14:52

I appreciate that.

Joe from Work 14:56

Appreciate that. Appreciate that. I wanted it. Like, oh man.

He's Jared 15:02

I wanted it, but more who's 16 sitting this game.

Joe from Work 15:09

He was a gentleman, dog. I put in this court, he was like, nah, I'm not good. Anyways, man. But yeah, that um you talk about that feeling good too, man. That's such a big part of wanting to do anything during the day. You know, like if you don't feel good, why the fuck you want to do something? So I mean, like, it's it's so much harder for me to do anything when I'm just like not feeling good. Well, I mean, but dude, but it's it's that sedentary life, man. I'm gonna get you, bro. Here's the thing. Yeah, are y'all on that hole like and that and this is what I get caught up in? Are y'all on that hole like, well, I gotta work out this much time, right? How much what time what do you say your average is? A weekly average, a daily average, or what?

He's Jared 16:00

Oh, bro. Oh, hold on. I'm just yeah, but I went out though.

Joe from Work 16:04

Oh do we do the how do we do a separate? Oh, this is just beating one of this beating.

He's Jared 16:09

We now know what it is, so we gotta kinda. We can rewatch, we're gonna rewatch.

Joe from Work 16:14

It's already in there. It's already in there. You see what I put down here? Yeah, it's already in there. Shitty hand, guys. Sorry. Gotta rewatch. Gotta rewatch that. Gotta rewatch that. I'm looking for that double star. Oh my god, I gotta do something out of this one. We're not gonna let you do it. Come on. But okay, so so the magic number is 150 minutes of modern activity per week. I see. That's 20 minutes a day. Reduces heart risk by 30 or 40 percent. That's a walk, that's a bike ride, man. Yep, yep. That's not much, man. And you realize, like, man, a little of it was a long way. So you're you're you have 10 minutes no push-ups. Now you were going ten for a double. All right, I'm gonna run. Because I had a nasty five, man. I'm about to just get the fives on everybody, like, yeah, yeah, oh, I'll take that. I was about to I was quiet. I was like, I said, we're good. We're good, we're good. Nice rewatch. Uh, I don't really want to wash again. But yeah, but you know, and and it's real bad for the for for blacks to dramatics. You know, we we'd be we'd be the worst.

He's Jared 17:53

The data behind it is, yeah, of course, generally more women are gonna have the leisure time, or rather the quote unquote leisure time to work out than say male, say the men. I'd say that, depending on the situation. Um the things also the difference between that that ain't it, man. I mean, but you don't you don't you I don't mean leisure time, but just let's say it's the man that's more likely to have in a relationship. This is how this is my perspective in a relationship. So uh they're more so gonna have um the time to do it than say the man.

Joe from Work 18:30

Oh, women.

He's Jared 18:31

The women. Because that's what it was, right? Yeah. 20%. And we're talking about time. We moved on from that. My bad.

Joe from Work 18:36

Yeah, no, no, no, no. No, but I'm saying, like, I I see what you're saying. So you think you think men have less less well perceived less time than what? Oh, you know what? That's true. Because we do it uh yeah, you know, that's like, but okay, if we go off like traditional segments of time, right? Man's gonna be outside what? Mowin the lawn, thinking, right? Exactly, washing dishes, clothing, but what other thing, I mean, but uh right, I was about to say, but I think it's pretty equal, man.

He's Jared 19:07

Like I would say, even outside of that, take just the natural, the natural um value system. So the thing that a man to a degree values in that woman, uh that woman has to maintain more so than the man. Okay.

Joe from Work 19:25

You know what I'm saying? You mean woman take a take a dude that's chubby other than a woman is more the Homer Simpson situation. That's kind of also I tell Sonny, I'm like, I preach that you give me the Peter Griffin, Homer Simpson.

He's Jared 19:40

Uh-huh. That that's to a degree, too. And so, like a woman, especially if she's if she's single at a certain age, yeah, that's something she's gotta continue to maintain at a high level. True. Because that is what is attracting. Versus a man, it's other things, it's income, that's ability to earn that, not necessarily their physical. That's a big part of it. But that's from like the physical side of it. Now, the health side of it is different, which is where we're coming from. Like we're at 40 now, and it's like you know, we need to focus on health from a longevity standpoint, not from a okay, I need to maintain my physical. Now therein lies the biggest difference in how I did you put five on the job? Yeah, just on the on the drop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.

Joe from Work 20:29

Who put I I dropped this one. And then I put this or something. I put the spinner. And then I put this. Okay, it's not going to be better. Now you and then you all right. But um, what I was gonna say is that difference in two pieces trying to ooh, nice. The difference in trying to work out for a type of of strength or a type of uh bulk or whatever, versus like, no, I'm trying to live. That's a whole different type of exercising that I'm doing. Absolutely. It completely reshaped uh oh, I ain't getting that because that's on you. Um fellas. I told you I didn't want to do that, but let me get 15 off of that. And I hope you're gonna go. I'm not busting off.

He's Jared 21:29

I'm not doing that.

Joe from Work 21:30

And also working out that just ain't enough. It's like, you know, you you do your nutrition is what's going to affect how your workouts even affect your body. Because it's gotta pull from something. That lactic acid's gotta be made so you know, and so it's like, no, I gotta actually feel my body right to even exercise how I want to, because I can exercise correctly, but feel my body wrong, and it doesn't have the same benefits. And it's like, oh, so this whole taking care of myself is actually more than. Just doing some push-ups and sit-ups, bro. And that's what I'm that's really that's what really was like eye-opening about it, you know, because I thought I knew about health, and no, I knew about pushing weights around. Yeah. I didn't know about health. It's the call composition. It's the you gotta get a little robe, bitch. Exactly. But you know, man, but that's the thing, though. Working out is actually easier than now that we're open.

He's Jared 22:30

Love open number. I'll take that same three-piece.

Joe from Work 22:33

Okay. China man six tank tank. Okay, second house, second house. We're building houses now, huh? We're building houses now, huh? Uh take a little look at that.

He's Jared 22:49

I can't do nothing with it after that.

Joe from Work 22:57

I'm gonna see how that feels, man. That looked pretty good. Let me grab it. Ouch. Let me grab it. Let me grab it. That looks pretty nice, actually. Oh my god. I like this. We out here just going today. Oh man. Oh man, we gotta hear we out here running around. I'll take it, man. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. But it's gonna slow down just a bit.

He's Jared 23:39

You get twice off of that round, didn't you?

Joe from Work 23:42

Yeah, the three B's and the. I needed it though. I'm gonna get stuck. You know, you know those situations where it's like, well, go take it down. It's about to get rough for your boy. Because they nobody gonna fucking let it out. And I'm gonna get mad over here. Well, what happened? I accidentally made a mistake. Because how many, how many, how many uh doubles are you supposed to have before you it's four, right?

He's Jared 24:08

You gotta put back at four.

Joe from Work 24:10

I had four. Amen. Well, hey, that's on you. I know that was on me. Because only put we only put back once. I know.

He's Jared 24:17

I think it's like after the second one, you gotta take what you get.

Joe from Work 24:19

So here's the deal, man. How sure am I that this is the one I don't want y'all to have? I mean, we're gonna find out. We're gonna find out. We ain't gonna do nothing about it. Come on. We can't do nothing about it. Let's find out. Let's find out. Let's find out.

He's Jared 24:34

I can't have nothing for it. Let's find out.

Joe from Work 24:36

You done?

He's Jared 24:36

Yeah, am I pulling? Yeah.

Joe from Work 24:38

But I still don't need that to be the one. I can still get fucked. I forgot that you had it. No? You got it? Uh at least knock you down. Okay. Okay. Okay.

He's Jared 24:54

Big Murta.

J Staff 24:55

Okay.

He's Jared 24:56

Um, all right. So we were talking exercise.

Joe from Work 25:00

Yeah. But yeah, but so like it's, you know, it's easier now because now you got like, all right, if you do like 120 minutes of zone two, which is based on like walking around to where, and then you do maybe an hour and like 30 minutes of like intense cardio where you max out, that's all you really need. And then really weights is a matter of like, you can do like 15 minutes of weights, like, and you're good. I ain't even bothered by the deadlifts, not even deadlifts. Do a couple rounds of squats where you pick up like max weight at one or two, cause to stimulate your muscles. You don't really need to do much. It's not like I got my kettlebell and I got like a nice kettlebell workout, you know, and it's uh still take 15. It's like I'm I'm I don't need strength training anymore. You know what I'm saying? Like that's that's not that's not at all practice, you just need to especially at this point too, because I'm also at like a a phase, right? I'm in a slimming down whatever phase. Once I get to whatever target weight, yada yada, the maintaining exercises are gonna be different than my you know weight loss exercises as well. So there's also a portion of that that I'm oh that's still out there too. Um there's a portion of that that I'm I'm uh at least also have to consider, you know, once the time comes. But the the biggest thing about it, you know, I I was I've always been a good starter, but again, you know, after you know, two weeks of especially burning myself out and and all that, it gets much harder to to uh stay on that sort of pace. Which is why for the first time that kind of incremental, but it's it's what's work. You know, and you know I can slowly build, slowly build my own. Like I'm looking at this one.

He's Jared 27:02

What change was that? What change was that?

Joe from Work 27:04

I like that shirt, bro.

He's Jared 27:06

I think that yeah, I noticed it.

Joe from Work 27:11

And then I think that he's still dominant. I think that's yeah, right. Yeah, yeah.

He's Jared 27:26

Right. What is that? 17? So 15, I'm good.

Joe from Work 27:31

15?

He's Jared 27:32

Yeah. I literally'm 20.

Joe from Work 27:35

I I realized too late that I had all the rest of the sixes. I was like, ah, fuck. I got greedy. I was gonna do that trick shot, bro. Because I had big six, big two, big four, and then big five.

He's Jared 27:52

Uh-huh.

Joe from Work 27:52

Oh, oh, yeah, yeah. So that big two wasn't gonna be no fucking favorite great. That was another exciting episode of Uncle Talk Podcast. Thank you for joining us. Again, remember to like and subscribe anywhere you get your podcast or wherever you see this video or listening to this podcast. We're gonna be back next week to continue the conversation on men's health. Can't wait to see you.