Can't you just stop?
"Can't you just stop?"
I've been hearing this question my whole life. About food. About eating. About my body. About being too big or too loud. About everything.
I'm Mila, a woman from Eastern Europe in my 30s, and I'm addicted to food.
I'm joined by Babushka - my inner cynical critic, the voice that wants to feed me and then ask why I'm fat.
This is an experiment: if I give her a voice, if I expose her, will I still believe her?
This is recovery in real-time. Messy, honest, and still figuring it out.
New episodes every two weeks.
Can't you just stop?
Pilot Episode - Can't you just stop?
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"Can't you just stop?"
I remember hearing it first about food, when I was 7, stealing money to buy candy. Then at 14, standing on a scale in front of my whole class. Then when a boy cried because he had to dance with me.
The question started outside. Then it moved inside. It became Babushka - my inner critic who feeds me and then asks why I'm fat.
This is an experiment: if I give her a voice, if I expose her out loud, will I still believe her?
This is where it started. This is where the experiment begins.
If you've ever heard that question about food, your body, or anything you can't seem to control - maybe you will relate.
Content note: Discusses childhood body shame & food addiction.