Matt P - Change

In this episode, I’m joined by Matt Peale.

Matt is a sports performance coach, author, and someone who spends his life helping people understand the connection between movement, posture, pain, performance, and wellbeing.

What surprised me about this conversation is how quickly it stopped being about fitness.

We started talking about posture, movement, and physical health, but underneath it was really about awareness. The way we carry ourselves. The stories we tell ourselves. The habits we repeat without ever questioning where they came from.

Matt talks about how something as simple as posture affects confidence, energy, breathing, relationships, and the way we move through the world. Not because posture is some magical fix, but because nothing exists in isolation. The body affects the mind. The mind affects the body. Everything is connected.

That led us into a much bigger conversation about identity and the things we attach ourselves to. Politics. Sport. Success. Failure. Recovery. The way human beings constantly look for something outside themselves to belong to, defend, and build a sense of self around.

One of the parts I enjoyed most was talking about unconscious behaviour. The stories we tell ourselves. The things we believe without questioning. The way we create experiences in our lives and then act surprised when the same patterns keep showing up.

Matt speaks openly about relationships, fatherhood, divorce, pressure, self talk, and the role the subconscious plays in shaping our lives. Not from a place of having it all figured out, but from someone willing to look honestly at where he still gets caught in his own thinking.

We also spoke about golf, which on the surface sounds ridiculous. Getting angry over a little white ball. But underneath it sits something most of us know well. Perfectionism. Expectation. Self judgement. The need to get things right.

Different environment. Same human being.

What landed for me was how often we try to solve problems externally when the real work is internal. Whether it is our posture, our relationships, our reactions, or the stories we tell ourselves, the common denominator keeps showing up.

Us.

The statement Matt leaves for the next guest is this:

For things to change, you have to change. For things to get better, you have to get better.

It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist
Hosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME

No tips.
No fixing.
Just real conversations.

Matt Peale can be found at: https://www.mattpeale.com/

WEBSITE

INSTAGRAM 

BOOK SALES: SHOPIFY

GROUPS/COURSES: PATREON

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

I'm Chad Taylor, psychotherapist, author of It's You, Oh Fuck, It's Me. No tips, no fixing, just real conversations. So today I've got Matt Peel with me. So Matt, who the fuck are you?

SPEAKER_01 0:19

My name is Matt Peel. I'm who the fuck am I? I live in the New Orleans, Louisiana area. I'm a fitness professional, also an author. I wrote the book The Athlete in the Game of Life back in 2020. I'm also a sports performance coach and work with people to help them overcome postural imbalances as they sit as we're kind of doing here today, all day in front of screens, and then try to exercise and get out there and do the things that they enjoy and uh got to overcome their their chronic pain and their imbalances so that they can have happier lives and go out and figure out who the fuck they are too.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

Well said. And I think posture, just on that thing right there, posture is a big thing that I struggle with myself. So people like you who are studying this field and trying to help people, I think is so necessary because I think it gets it posture is everything. How people relate to you in the world, how you relate to yourself. I know for me I was a really overweight kid, and I think I got picked on a lot, so I almost have this bit of a hunch where from what I can gather is I was trying to hide my overweight stomach, and that led me to hunch over and hide it, and then that's now really fucked my posture.

SPEAKER_01 1:41

Right. We judge someone as they walk up, how are they standing? Do they that's also a sign of self-confidence? You know, is someone kind of standing up tall? Are they are they hunched over a little bit more? Um, all these this nonverbal communication that is given as soon as you see someone. That's part of a first impression. And then even I think it's part of just ongoing impressions, as even though that might be smiling and having a good time and you're good friends with them, but if they're yeah, they don't have good posture, it just sends a different kind of signal to you than someone who stands up tall and maybe they're unhappy, but stand up tall, it seems like hey, this guy goes or this lady's got his shit together or her shit together just because of how they stand in and present themselves.

SPEAKER_00 2:30

Yeah, and I think it's something that we don't learn, a bit like a lot of the stuff that I talk about in my book, egocentricity and understanding patterns and common denominators in relationships. I think we really don't talk about. I don't think I'd ever until it got to a point where I was unhappy with my hunching as an adult, I don't think I was ever really taught. Stand up straight, it's a sign of confidence. It's how you feel about yourself. It's not really talked about.

SPEAKER_01 2:57

You're right. It's not. But it also can lead to a number of health problems with like tension headaches, migraine headaches, um, fatigue. Because even as you're hunched over, what do you can do when you're compressing your diaphragm? Which then means you don't can't breathe as well as if you're stand-up tall and your diaphragm can contract and expand as normal. So some people think, well, man, I'm just tired all the time. And you may be, but at the same time, if your posture is bad and you are hunched over, leaning over, compressing that all the time, you're not getting all the air you can into your body. And so you are going to feel fatigued and you are gonna be tired, and you might not even realize that's part of the cause.

SPEAKER_00 3:39

Yeah, and fatigued and tired leads to what we're talking about here: relationships and mental health and anxiety and happiness. It's all so interconnected. It's everything mind, body, emotional, physical, spiritual, really, it's all so connected, and I think we miss a lot of this stuff. We just think we'll go see this therapist, he's got a five-step program, we'll go and see him for five sessions, and then we leave, and then we're all okay, and we don't holistically deal, you know. I've been I go to a chiropractor pretty regularly, and a lot of people are you know, a lot of people like to judge them or they love them, right? A bit like everything in the world. And just after this, I've got you, and then I've got another one, and then I go for my weekly massage, which is for an hour and a half, which Debbie, if you're listening to this, you changed my life on a weekly basis because it's these things that we don't have the time, a lot of the time, to take care of, and then we wonder why we're having unhappy relationships and we hate our boss and we're too tired to go for a walk, because it it all interlinks. Because I guess for me, you're probably not someone that I'd normally have on the show, but I love to be curious and understand how that's my goal is to be open-minded. So I love to hear people like you where what can I learn from this guy and not think, oh, that doesn't apply to me. So for anyone listening, thinking I was coming on here because I was gonna hear listen about relationships at all interlinks, right?

SPEAKER_01 5:15

Yeah, 100% interlinks because where does movement starts in the brain? Thinking starts in the brain. The brain is where all of our life starts. Yes, physically, of course, we need our heart, we need our lungs, we need everything else working together, kidneys, liver. But again, it's the nerve impulses that come from your brain that go down your spinal cord, then out to your peripheral nervous system that makes you lift your hand, makes you walk, makes you be able to eat, and then figure out how am I gonna pick up this cell phone that is now dominating my my entire life. Everything it is all connected to the brain. And if we're not addressing things in the brain, then that helps with our movement patterns and then helps with our endorphins and then how we relate to people and our posture and all that, um we're missing out. You know, it's and that's why you have people like you. You have people like me who kind of specialize in one area, but from a holistic standpoint, like you're saying, right? It's it is all interconnected. You can't just say, well, I only work on the body, because that's not true. I'm working on the brain while I'm working on the body with people.

SPEAKER_00 6:25

A hundred percent. And the same for me, even though I'm working on the mind, a lot of the time it is really about if you meditate, if you sit up straight, if you try and go for a walk in the morning, walking meditations, it doesn't really matter what it is. So it's just so good to have you on here. For anyone out there, I was on Matt's podcast, it was so much fun. The Americans have got such a I love their energy in Australia where we're more we love to beat people down for some reason more than build them up, but I think you guys are good at from what I experience and it might be different. You guys are good at really bigging people up. We're in Australia for some reason. We love to push the other person down to make ourselves feel better. For any Australians out there thinking, fuck you, Chad, saying that, making us look bad, prove me wrong. I did a funny skid of an Instagram reel the other day about the fuel restrictions, and I probably got equally as much, it's had like, I don't know, 18,000 likes and a thousand comments, right? Probably my most too bad it's not about my book, right? But the amount of hate coming towards me is like, and even a friend of mine who he got on there and said, like if they only knew, and that's what I sort of laugh, because I'm not gonna defend myself, and this is the thing, if we only knew, right? If we only were curious to the other person, if we become cute more curious and more compassionate, the world would change. True.

SPEAKER_01 7:53

You're 100% correct, and it's yeah, I don't know a whole lot about Australian culture, like what you're saying. Um, I honestly here in America, we we do our fair share of beating people down, but it's interesting that you talk about that, the the differences of the the ones you've interact with, like myself and whoever else has been on your podcast, or maybe patients or clients, friends, that we we do tend to build other people up. So that's a positive because you know what we hear through you know our media is everybody hates Americans, fucking ugly Americans. And yes, we can be ugly when we travel because we think everything should be like it is at home, but it's not. Uh that's just an interesting perspective that you brought up that I didn't even know about, real less.

SPEAKER_00 8:38

And I think not that we're having a history lesson here, people, and I did say this to another client that was on. I think we can sometimes misconstrue passion with arrogance, right? Where I think a lot of Americans are passionate, and I'm not trying to give you a history lesson about your own country, but I think my experience is Americans are very passionate, and I think that can be taken as arrogance or it can be taken as righteousness where I because I'm pretty passionate in my own life. I think people misconstrue me sometimes and take it the wrong way that I feel like I'm righteous when it's I get so engrossed in the passion about whatever I'm talking about, and that's part of the addict in me, and I think that gets misconstrued in the head that it's aggression or that it's arrogance or that it's righteousness. So I think if people would just be open-minded, the problem in Australia is we'd see at the moment, if somebody said American, we'd see the little orange man with the round head, right, in it. That would be the first image most people would go to because that's what's going on in the world. Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:39

Trust me, we we we probably didn't think the same thing.

SPEAKER_00 9:42

And again, I don't know the guy, so I try not to have too much of a comment, right? I know that, and we're not going to get political here because I don't know enough about politics to have a comment, right? I get that if there's war going on, it's shit. And surely in 2026 we could stop fucking killing each other and and really all in the name of money and power. But I don't know enough about it to have too much comments. So that's why when people want to talk about it, I say I don't I'm not informed enough. The Dalai Lama said, He who changes the world changes himself first. And that's how I try and work on myself and with others that if I want the world to change, will I change? And then hopefully then if I change and the next person that interacts with me maybe is a bit changed. And it's not because of me, it's because I'm radiating, like you said to me, I think, or somebody else said, we've got this six-foot energy radius around us. All of us have got a almost a six-foot energy radius, and then there's also like a this sort of vortex that goes up and down and around, and I'm moving my hands here, and no one can see that. All these things are scientific, but we like to believe that these aren't happening. So I guess coming back to where we are, who do you have an ideal cli like have say with your practice or what you do? Is it is it only in person or do you work with people on Zoom or I have a couple people on Zoom, but mostly it's um in person.

SPEAKER_01 11:08

You know, that's where I I I I thrive more. You know, I'm I guess I would say old school with I'll be 51 here next month and recording uh here in the middle of April. So on May 25th, I turn 51. And I have a marketing degree. I didn't go to school for fitness. I went to school and have a marketing degree and did outside sales. So fitness is just another version of outside sales. And that type of sales was you know, business to business, going into businesses, say, hey, my name is Matt Peel. I work with 123 XYZ, you know, trying to send an appointment. I've had to learn how to interact, and that's where I know how to sell. I can sell in person. I fucking suck selling over the internet and trying to sell services online, which is I know what everybody's a lot of going for, but I'm an in-person dude, man. So work with me. If you standing here across from me, yes, I'm a lot more effective that way than I am trying to portray what I do on Instagram or Facebook or whatever it is. Um so yeah, I'm I'm I'm an in-person as much as I possibly can. Because same thing, how can I direct you? How can I position you? I can't do it online. I can look at your camera like we're right now and say, okay, well, stand up a little this way or shift a little bit that way. You know, how do you feel? But it's if I'm right there with you, then I can walk around you. I can see things I can't see just from one viewpoint at a time, unless you're turning around constantly.

SPEAKER_00 12:47

Yeah. I love that. And I think everything's better in person. Everything in the world is better in person, right?

SPEAKER_01 12:58

Yeah, absolutely it is. Absolutely it is, and that's why we still take trips and vacations, right? I can post some video of the French Quarter and you can look at it and go, ooh, that's nice. But until you're there to truly hear it and smell it and experience that, and same thing with with you and and your beaches down in Australia, right? I can look at them on YouTube or you can send me a video from your phone, but until I'm there using all five senses, right, you don't get the full full effect.

SPEAKER_00 13:27

And that's how we experience the world through our senses. I think people don't even understand that word sense, sensation. We have a sensation of the world, and that's how we process that experience. So where can people find you? I try and do this at the start in case people get sick of hearing my voice. I try and do this at the start rather than leave it at the end so that if people shut it off, they've already got your details to find you. Where can people find you?

SPEAKER_01 13:54

You can go to my website, mattpeelp e a l e dot com. You can find me on Instagram or uh follow you, which is Matt Peel C E S. Uh Matt Peel on X. You can connect with me on LinkedIn. My Facebook is Athlete in the Game of Life, and then I also have a TikTok called Strengthen at your desk.

SPEAKER_00 14:15

Perfect. And I'll put some of those main ones in the show notes for anyone that wants to scroll and have a look if you want to contact Matt. And what area of America do you work in? I live in the New Orleans, Louisiana area. Cool. The water boy.

SPEAKER_01 14:32

A little bit, a little bit. That's that's actually further west, about two hours, is where that stance comes in from. But yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:41

For anyone that hasn't seen that movie, it's pretty epic. It is it is very epic, you're right. So what do I do on this podcast? The last guest leaves a statement, a question, or something for the next guest to be hit with. So I'm I'm gonna give it to you. Creating memories are the gateway to happiness. What happens for you when you hear that?

SPEAKER_01 15:08

Creating memories are the gateways of happiness.

SPEAKER_00 15:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:12

I think that brings up uh happiness in me as memories that I have of traveling, for example. I I love to travel whenever possible, and creating experiences. And and I've one of the things for like as gifts, sometimes I ask people, do you want an object you know, a coffee mug as you know you're you're drinking out of, or would you rather have an experience? Like, would you want to go see a concert? Do you want to go to dinner? Do you want to go to a festival? And now at my point, you know, that's I'm not rolling in dough, but I can buy what I need. So I would always opt for an experience, which is now a memory, which then brings happiness.

SPEAKER_00 15:55

I love that. And on the same with my kids, it's not so much the gifts, I call it appearances or experiences, because I've got two girls. You know, do you want something for your appearance? In other words, a t-shirt or a pair of Nikes or whatever you want, like whatever's going to bring you happiness in the moment, or do you want an experience? Do you want to go exactly that? My daughter just turned 15 and we I bought tickets to Tame Impala for her, which is a bit of a double it's a double gift for me, because I get to go and enjoy that experience with her. We went and saw Tyler the Creator, which is like a dude that I would probably never never listen to. It's not my jam, but the concert was fucking epic. We had fireworks indoors and it was a pretty it was a pretty intense concert. So exactly what you're saying. It's it's a gateway to happiness, right? Creating memories is all we've ever got. And I'm gonna ask you that right now. When you hear that, what's one of the most memorable things that when when I say that, if I was to ask you to hit me with one or two of the most memorable things you can remember, what would they be?

SPEAKER_01 17:03

I'll just go recently from Friday. Here in in New Orleans, we have French Quarter Festival, which is a huge free festival with music and food all over the French Quarter, mostly local New Orleans area, Louisiana artists. And going down there on a Friday afternoon at say 3 o'clock, 2:30 when most people are still at work, but even able to get out of my work and go experience it on a sunny, beautiful day for us, you know, around 80 degrees with you know a buddy I've known since high school, you know, 30 almost over 30 years, we've we've known each other, right? That's a great experience for me. It's something I look forward to actually every year. It's an annual uh one for me. So that's one I love doing every year.

SPEAKER_00 17:47

Yeah, and I love hearing that because even that word happiness, when that person left you that last time, that word happiness, if we look at the Latin sort of where that word happiness comes from, it almost translates to be present as the moment is happening. So, in other words, the the happiness is happening in the moment. It is as we as the experience happens, not happiness will be when I pay my mortgage off, or happiness will be when I get the car that I want, or happiness will be when I get the partner I want or the job I want. The happiness is happening all the time around us, but we've just got to be able to be free of our thinking to come back to being present in the moment. So I love and an annual event, like probably not that big of a deal to people who haven't experienced it, but that's the thing with memories, they don't necessarily have to be uh a big glamorous thing, they're just they're ours, right? Right, right, absolutely. So I'm gonna ask you what from my book or what from the name of my book stood out for you do you think?

SPEAKER_01 18:56

The name, of course, everyone talks about that, you know, the the the the name number one right there. Um but to be able to have really from you, I think it shows how much passion you have about what you're talking about and what you do for a living, to be able to say, hey, you know what? Fuck it, I'm gonna put this on the name of a book, right? And put it out there and openly promote it and have no qualms saying the title, it's you, oh fuck, it's me, and not be like as we would say maybe here in America, like too Puritan or or too I I can't uh I I can't get into that. Yeah. So that just shows I think for you, your your courage, and that you're you're a firm believer in what you do. And and that's that's impressive, not a lot of people are.

SPEAKER_00 19:47

So yeah, and I love to hear that. Not because it's about me, but I love to hear what it means for you, and then I'm gonna I'm gonna put you on the spot. Where are some examples in your life recently, or when you think it was the other person and it was you I mean, maybe right now.

SPEAKER_01 20:03

As we talked about as I'm again navigating, you know, uh a change potentially in in my relationship. Um and yeah, looking at me, where what could I have done differently? Of course, right? That was one thing we talked about when you were on my show. And I I go to a counselor once a month and figure out what is it with me? What is there any what can I do? Uh I can only control me, I can pray and I can have belief and I can picture things in my mind. And there's the science out there of, you know, if what you can hold an uh an image in your head and then have the faith and whatever your your spirituality is to it, that miracles do happen, and you can overcome whatever adversity that is there if you firmly believe it and hold on to it. And and then the end, that's all you can do is just is this for yourself and uh have the faith that somehow things will essentially work out for you.

SPEAKER_00 20:59

Yeah, and the have you got some examples for any of us people or you where we think we can hide behind awareness, where we almost hide behind, especially as us as being men, right? It can be almost this um through history it's almost there's a there's a role that we all play, right? And I think like where where do you see in the world these days where we can almost hide behind our identity or our awareness?

SPEAKER_01 21:27

I I think I I think politics is a big place that people hide behind and and try to perceive or or make people perceive what they are by some by political beliefs, which may or may not necessarily be correct about a person, but that that's where people will tend to I I think hide behind is various political beliefs that they have. There's a variety of subjects you can talk about on there, but I definitely think political beliefs are are kind of a hiding place that people Would put up a front to um for what they really are truly feeling.

SPEAKER_00 22:06

Yeah, and I love to hear that because it is a thing at the moment more than ever. And I don't know if it's an age thing for me, but I think 20 years ago, I didn't really give a fuck about politics. I didn't and I still don't really. But I think more now, I don't know if it's social media or what's going on in the world or what it is, but I think it's more prevalent right now that people want to come in and pay me for a session and they want to talk about the little orange man, right? Like, or the big orange man, whatever you want to call it. I want to talk about Trump and the ways of the world, and I'm almost trying to bring it back to them of, hey, do you really want to spend your session and your money talking about something that not saying we don't have control over, because I think we all have a level of control, but the only control we have over is how we react to a certain situation.

SPEAKER_01 22:54

Yeah, and that that's you're they're yeah, talk about a human being that is on the other side of the planet that they don't have a relationship with, that they're probably never gonna have a relationship with. You know, and and how why is that such a blooming light or dark path in your life there in Australia? You got a lot of shit going on right there, I'm sure, you know, for this process right there in front of you in your own house, more than what this the orange man is doing on the other side of the planet, you know.

SPEAKER_00 23:27

Yeah, and and even being an athlete, right? And in your field, I'm not overly athletic. And I I have had couples come in and their weeks, so how their week goes as a couple is determined upon whether the football team won on the weekend or not. We become so identified and just with what you do, and I'm guessing Super Bowl and things like that, right? People are punching each other out over a certain jersey or a certain like we identify with things. I think we feel safe when we identify with a group or a collective because it allows us to avoid our own shit.

SPEAKER_01 24:07

Oh, I agreed. It's yeah, sports, right? Sports is passion, right? People are passionate about what whatever team, whatever sport that you are. And so, yes, you go to that group and you you find a commonality in that group of like, and you also find the commonality of dislike for for the other group, for the other team. Hey, I'm just as guilty. I fully admit it. I am a New Orleans Saints fan. I do not like the Atlanta Falcons. No problems. I will own it for the rest of my life. They don't like us. Cool, but that's what makes some of the fun. But again, when you take it in context, right? I don't hate you as a person, like truly hate you as a person because you're an Atlanta Falcons fan. We'll have that rivalry, that way to kind of you know chide with each other. But at the end of the day, no, man, that that's not gonna make a difference whether you're a true friend or not a true friend.

SPEAKER_00 24:58

Yeah, and I love to hear that because I think we do get caught up in our own thinking sometimes, and it can become we can make things really personal that aren't personal. Right. You know, and I and even that, like, do you have kids? Are you your father, or do you have kids? Or I do. He's he's 24.

SPEAKER_01 25:16

He's uh on his own, living on his own, got a college degree, and has a job and working away. So but yeah, I do.

SPEAKER_00 25:23

Okay, that's exciting. And how has he followed in your footsteps or has he become his own man? Like no, he's become his own man, different from his mother.

SPEAKER_01 25:32

Uh, you know, her and I are divorced, but we get along very, very well. Uh different from her, different from me. For example, he's her, she's a big sports fan. I'm a big sports fan. He hates sports. So where did that come from? Um, but yeah, he's definitely his own man, and we let him do his thing, and he has he lives in Los Angeles area, I'm in New Orleans area, she lives over in um eastern Florida. So he's out there doing his thing.

SPEAKER_00 26:05

Yeah, good on him, and and I love because I think a lot of us men, we grow up almost seeking the love from our fathers and trying to become who they want us to be to seek out that love rather than who we are, and I see that a lot in therapy practice. And also vice versa, that sometimes we can carry that on into our adulthood where say a father is really pushing his son to be a good football player because for him it's an extension of who he is, and he doesn't even realise what's happening. Yeah, so there's a lot of that. There's a lot of that, and it comes back to the same topic about and I'm gonna ask you this but what do you think unconsciousness costs us in our relationships, whether it's professional friends, intimate partnerships, like what does unconsciousness cost us, do you think, in our relationships?

SPEAKER_01 26:57

I think our subconscious plays a massive role in our relationships that we don't even know until you study behavior. I mean, I I also study behavior with with books that I read and and and the audio books and things that I listen to. Yeah, our subconscious is huge. And you know, it doesn't subconscious doesn't know if it's been good or bad, truth or a lie. It's whatever you're telling that the subconscious is going to believe. So whatever you've been telling yourself, your subconscious, it's going to believe that and then try to make that happen for you. You know, good or bad, it's pushing you in that direction, it's forming your beliefs. So we have to pay attention to what are we feeding our brains, which also goes back to physically too, like, oh man, I fucking suck at golf. I'm fucking terrible. So you go out there and that's a self-fulfilling prophecy, right? You smash your clubs. Look, I've been saying this because I'm actually saying it about myself. So what are you yeah, yeah. I'd say it about myself, right? So it's what are you telling yourself about it? If I told myself, hey man, I'm good at golf, you know, who cares if I just screw that shot up completely, I I'll get another one. All right, but no, I and I'm here's my own therapy session, and I get it. Like, no fuck man, this whole's done. Like it's done. It's this round is done, and I'm already off my game, right? So it's what do you what are you feeding yourself? What are you telling yourself? Um, I think again, your subconscious will believe we'll believe whatever it is. You know, is the orange man really orange or is he really you know purple? Whatever your subconscious mind tells it, that's didn't you're gonna look at him and say, nope, that motherfucker's purple. No, he's orange. No, he's purple, right?

SPEAKER_00 28:41

And my mind's going right now too. Maybe he's actually a sweet potato. Maybe, who knows? Because over here you get purple sweet potatoes and orange ones. Right. Maybe he's not human, maybe he's a sweet potato. Maybe so. But I'm just gonna quickly push you on that golf thing for a bit, right? Like just only because this is part of what I do here. It's a bit challenging. That what does it look like if you're playing around the golf with some friends and you're starting to lose your shit? How's that? How's that for the whole dynamic? Do you think?

SPEAKER_01 29:14

Well, I think all of the ones I play with, we all end up losing our shit when we're playing golf. One way or another, we all lose our shit in some way or another, some more than others. Um, and I truly mean I put more pressure on myself than is necessary. And I know I do, and how can I fix that? I don't know. I gotta sit there and talk with you for the next 45 years and figure that shit out. But yeah, it's it's uh, you know, what do we place on ourselves? Pressure, are we relaxed? Can we let things roll off our back? Um it all varies, you know.

SPEAKER_00 29:49

And do you think there's a bit of fun in all of you losing your shit too, though, just for people out there, so it's not all doesn't all look bad? Like, is there does there come some humor from losing your shit, or it's actually just losing your shit?

SPEAKER_01 29:59

No, there there does. There comes humor from it. At the end, there there comes humor from it. Because you know, we'll all say, oh fellas, we all life sucks right now for everybody. The whole force of life sucks.

SPEAKER_00 30:13

Isn't it funny? Fuck my life because I haven't got this little white ball into the hole in the right amount of strokes. Fuck my life. That's correct. And that's what we do in relationships, right? I think we project onto the other person how we want them to treat us, and if they don't give us everything they want, or we make it about us. And this is this thing I said to someone the other day in therapy. I said, even that word when we take something personally, like that's so narcissistic and selfish that you say something and I make it about me. Right. It's hard. You know, it's it's hard. Life is hard. Life is hard. The Buddha said that two two and a half thousand years ago. Yeah. The first noble truth was life is suffering. But then the second no and we've been stopped there, it's like, well, fuck, what are we bothering doing? And then the second noble truth of Buddhism being where we suffer is in our thinking. This is my translation, by the way. It actually translates to life is dukkha, which means unsatisfactoriness. So life is unsatisfactory, in other words, and then it goes on to say that we suffer in our thinking. So change of thinking, change our experience. Like I can see why getting ex sometimes when I'm in the car and I'm getting angry at another driver, part of me is almost loving, like I'm laughing. As I don't yell at them internally, but I might be saying something under my breath, or and sometimes my partner thinks I'm really serious, but part of it is I'm like, fucking, look at this old person. They should have a taxi if they can't do the fucking speed limit. They should just get a taxi. But there's part of me that's almost there's a bit of fun in that, right? That I think gets again misconstrued. Yeah. That's really coming back to consciousness. Alright, so we're pretty much at the end here. One sentence, question, statement, not really teaching, but something for the next guest.

SPEAKER_01 32:07

All right, I'll use a quote from Jim Roan. How's that?

SPEAKER_00 32:11

Perfect.

SPEAKER_01 32:11

Jim Jim Rohn is a um was a philosopher, professional development guy, man. One of the things he said, he says, for things to change, you have to change. For things to get better, you have to get better. I love that.

SPEAKER_00 32:24

Thanks, Matt. We're gonna leave it there.