Special Episode The Big Island – Part I

What drives a man to leave everything familiar behind and fly across the ocean searching for something he can’t fully explain?

In this two-part episode of UNLOADED, Michael opens up about his journey to Hawai‘i’s Big Island—not just the physical trip, but the internal one that led him there. What started as a destination became something far deeper: reflection, surrender, clarity, and transformation.

Part I explores the weight that pushed him toward the island. The burnout, the internal pull for silence, presence, and reconnection. This is the conversation before the jump—the emotional and spiritual journey that brought him to the edge.

Part II begins the moment he steps toward the aircraft door. No hesitation. No panic. Just presence. Michael recounts the calm of freefall, the clarity that came in the sky above Hawai‘i, and the quiet moment afterward, sitting on the bumper of a jeep overlooking the sea with Maui visible on the horizon.

This isn’t just a story about skydiving.
 It’s about what happens when a man finally lets go.

The weight we carry. The truth we speak.
This is UNLOADED.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Well, I would like to welcome everyone back to our podcast Unloaded. This is one of your hosts, Michael Seahorn. And the other host, Shannon Morrow. And we're hoping everybody out there is doing well. Shannon, how you been? I've been well. Good. I've been gone for uh a week now. Just got back uh Monday. Actually, I take that back. Got back extremely late Saturday morning. We'll talk about that in a minute. Uh and then obviously back to the work week on on Monday.

SPEAKER_01 0:29

So here we are, man. Yeah. Things are feeling a little different, man. Yeah. How so? Well, just what we got working, cooking here now. Technology-wise, big upgrade. You're back from Hawaii. You're looking different. Just yeah, we're into spring now. I'm feeling different. We we're ready to level up here. Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_02 0:50

And I think that's a that's a good segue. So for our listeners out there, um, you'll have to go back uh two more, two, three episodes prior to today's episode, or I'm sorry, prior to this Wednesday's episode, um, and catch up. But uh had a couple rough weeks, decided on a very crisp moment that I was gonna take some time off and away. I felt like I needed a reset, some things I needed to figure out internally, so I decided to go back to the big island where uh my family and I lived for the better part of a year. And it's been uh we we actually looked, it's been about almost six years, man, before I've been back. Man. Too long. Too long, you know. Now, just for our audience sake out there, just a quick snapshot on the catch-up is. Um the weight I was feeling prior to leaving was pretty heavy, it was pretty intense. We actually talked about it live on an episode, so it's out there for everyone to listen to. Um behind closed doors, you know, Shannon knew that I was I was at at a moment in time where I needed to do some unloading somewhere.

SPEAKER_01 2:02

Right. Yeah, you can see it in Michael's eyes. You can't see it right now. I can see it, man. And the Michael that we did the previous recordings with, and here now back today, just kind of the before and after Mike. Ooh, he's he had more to unload than even he was aware of.

SPEAKER_02 2:19

Good point. And um well uh catch everyone up. So we flew out Sunday, last Sunday, two Sundays ago, we flew out. Um wife and I hopped on a plane, went up to uh RNO up here in Reno, flew down to San Diego, never been to San Diego Airport, maybe once, but a long time ago. And uh hung out there for a little bit, got on the good old plane and uh headed out to good old Hawaii. We landed in Kona uh Sunday, about uh three o'clock local time. So Hawaii is three hours behind our Pacific Standard Time. So I'll let our audience figure out where that on their on their on their time zones. But uh got there on Sunday, man, and I'm gonna be honest, it's when you fly in Kona, for those who have never been to uh Tekona or on the big island of Hawaii, they don't have traditional airports, it's still very old school Hawaii, and you just fly out of the tarmac and they roll up the stairs and you get out outside, right? And I already knew what to expect. I I was waiting for the muggy thickness of the air, the moisture, and the heat, you know. And without question, uh as soon as you walk out that door, man, it just welcomed back, you know, and it felt good. Yeah. It felt good. It just it just felt like I never left, you know. And um my wife will tell you I was you know, ear to ear smiles and just being back on the island and being back in that environment from you know where we found where I found so much peace for the first time in my life. You know, and um it was just good to be back.

SPEAKER_01 4:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:06

Uh quickly ran out, you know, got our bags, and you know, Hawaii I love because they're not in a hurry to do shit. Yeah. Okay, so you gotta be on island time, and that is a thing. Um, and island time just means they'll do it when they get to it. Yeah. All right, so you're not rushing nobody, right? And it's funny when you're I'm a big proponent of watching people, love people watching, you know, and when you're standing outside watching everyone around you, you can definitely tell the first timers. Uh right, because they're nervously moving around, they're like looking at the baggage carrier, and they're like, you know, you can just tell they're antsy. You know, they're on the pants are on fire, you know what I mean? And uh the local people and people who are familiar with that, you were just chilling. You're just hanging out, man. Relax. Bags will be here. So anyway, you got our bags, hit the uh rental car, and uh, I was starving by then. You know, airplane food and me, we don't we don't really see eye to eye sometimes, so I don't that's good. Unless I well now mind you, well when we uh win and if it's it's available, we like to try to fly the first class just because of my back issues, and it does give me more more room to move around and get up and stretch. So uh on this flight it was full. Never been on a flight to Hawaii that has not been fully packed. So we sat business class, which was nice, a little extra leg room, but still a little too tight for me. Uh we got the snack bags of I don't know, nuts or whatever. Uh I didn't eat any of them. But uh so we got the car and uh I looked at the the wife. I'm like, hey, you're hungry, I'm starving, man. So in Kona, if you're ever out there, there is a wonderful place, just go out to the main highway there, hang a right, shoot down the coast, and go to the first marina you come to. It's the only one down there, can't miss it. And they have a phenomenal little uh restaurant bar, it's outside, inside. So all of the restaurants, almost all of them in uh Kona, they're inside, outside. No walls indoors. You just either sit under an eave or an overhang of some sort or a porch. This marina's the same, it's all under a huge um, you know, just it's a basically a Lanae, a big porch, right? Good be back, and um just fish and chips are off the hook there. It's all fresh, locally caught and freshly cooked every day. Wow. So you can't get much more fresh. Yeah, and the cool thing too is they'll tell you who caught it. No way, yeah. So they'll tell you what local um caught it and who they bought it from. So look just a little thing. It's it's cool, you know. And I I forwent the beer right out of the gate just because I knew I was hot and I was a little dehydrated, so just focused on food and iced tea and water. So anyway, long story short, headed over to uh the east side of the island. It's a two-hour and 25-minute drive. People don't realize how big the big island is. Uh, from coast to coast, it is about a two and a half hour run. Uh, so we went over to Hilo, spent Sunday, Monday uh in Hilo, which is where we lived. We lived south of Hilo in a place called Kow, and uh we rented a little Airbnb and just got remote re-acclimated. No agenda. No, just whatever the hell we felt like. Um good thing is we know where we want to eat, so I don't have to think about it. Um did the quick Walmart run. There's a couple items we needed for the for the trip, but um it was a good time over there. Usually we used to uh past days and vacations, we'd stay on the east side of the island, come back the day before, we fly out. This time my wife wanted to do the opposite. So she wanted more time in Kona. So those are the listeners out there, the listening, the eastern side of uh the big island is very rainy. It's it's a little bit gloomier, but it's got a lot of sun, a lot more rain, a lot more moisture, uh very jungly. And um it's not everyone's cup of tea. There's not a lot of quote unquote sand beaches out there, because on the east side there's a lot of volcanic cliffs. Absolutely stunning sunrises on that side, obviously. And um just great mornings to sit out and watch the sun come up over the ocean. So we did that a couple mornings for sure, which was just a which was just a blast, man. Uh so we headed back on Tuesday uh to the Kona side on the west side of the island, and we stayed at the local resort that we always stay at, which was great. Doing a lot of renovations though, which is weird. So you got all these construction guys, man, just all over this resort, outside, inside, working and doing their things. So Tuesday um was my wife's birthday. So wanted to have a special dinner. We kind of knew where we wanted to go already. So Tuesday came and um I was feeling I think Tuesday I I started started settling a little bit more. You know, the newness of being back was wearing off quickly, and um I felt myself internally just coming down, getting on island time, definitely getting the hustle bustle feel out of you, if that makes any sense. Yeah, and um so we uh show up Tuesday, we check in, and just really just hung out Tuesday. We took the long way around, and what I mean by that is we we left Hilo, we went south, and we took the south highway all the way at the southern part of the island back up to the west. And we did that because you there's a couple hot spots down there that we love. One of them is a uh a famous uh bread bakery place, it's absolutely amazing down in South Point, and the Black Sand Beach, very famous black sand beach down in the Big Island, down there. It's in the south area as well, and always have turtles, and it's just a great place to stop. Very big tourist spot on the big island, but highly recommend that. So that's a very long drive because you're covering a large part of the island, the whole thing, and it's a little slower, it's windier, goes through the you know, jungle and goes through the volcanic national park. Great drive. So that took a little over three hours in total, three, three and a half hours. So we got in a kona pretty late. Uh grabbed some lunch real quick, checked in, and um the tower we stay at, and we have uh they have uh what's called a lagoon, and it's kind of a man-made little lagoon area that you can walk down to, and they put all these huge rocks out in the break, so the waves hit the the rocks and then the water comes over and then fills the lagoon. It's absolutely amazing. But not very deep, so kids can go in there, families can you know partake. That's my it's my hot spot for me. So I couldn't get in there fast enough. I've been I've been needing some ocean time for sure, and uh just floated around, man. But just let that natural seawater just soak into the skin. It's good for you, you know. So did that Tuesday, had a great dinner. Uh Tuesday night though, so let me rewind one sec. I set up, and I don't I don't know if we talked about this on my other podcast. I don't think we we did one of the other episodes um I set up a skydiving jump. I thought it was time to to do a jump, and I've always wanted to jump on the big island and I booked it before we left. And I was to jump at 9 a.m. on Wednesday morning. So Tuesday night when we got back to the hotel and um relaxed uh after some more um ocean time. I I I I started not feeling well. Oh no. And it goes back to some um preexisting uh stomach issues uh that I've uh dealt with for about part of probably a decade or two, somewhere in there. And I haven't had any issues with it, but shockingly.

SPEAKER_01 12:14

Until over there the night before your jump.

SPEAKER_02 12:17

Yes. Yeah. Good timing. Perfect timing. And uh my you know, my wife is concerned and she's like, hey, are you are you are you gonna jump tomorrow? And I told her in that moment, I said, I'm gonna wait till I wake up to make that decision. Uh had a rough night, man. Just I couldn't sleep. My stomach was literally killing me. Literally? I'll tell you what. If anyone's ever experienced some uh IBS times 10, uh I can tell you death sounds a lot better than the intestinal pain, right? Um but it was just super uncomfortable. I didn't get much sleep. Yeah, so I woke up at about 5 30 and uh felt like dog water, man. Just sorry, that that's from my children, by the way. That's good, man. Dog water. Uh that I learned that from my children. Felt like dog water, and uh I had to make the the call. Yeah, I just I wouldn't put someone else's life in jeopardy uh because if I had an issue up there at 10K uh or on the free fall, it's that's not fair to them. So I made the tough call, left them a message, knowing the island time thing that they weren't gonna get the message till later in the day. So I thought, well, I'll be preemptive, I'll email them as well. They seem pretty responsive. Email them at the same time, and uh I was disappointed. I was really looking forward to uh you know, it's it's it's been a huge thing I've wanted to do, and I just haven't had the uh uh ability to make it happen. So um I tried to eat a little bit of breakfast. We went out to breakfast and I just it wasn't there, man. We went downstairs in the uh they have a nice little lounge lobby outside, uh, same thing, uh in a Lanai, and um tried some oatmeal and just wasn't having it, man. Uh probably about five bites was good. Yeah, and it was just still not feeling 100, man, and uh we got done breakfast. And uh she's like, What do you want to do? And I'm like, I I'm just going in the ocean, man. I need some healing something's going on. So um she went up, got her things, came down, I was already in the water. They got a nice little sand area with with lounge, beach beach lounge chairs, and so she was doing her thing and I was just bobbing around like a bobber on the ocean, dude. Just you know, trying to um for me when I when I'm in those moments, um I try just to be very present because I feel like we have a tendency, I have a tendency to start to focusing on why you're not feeling good. That makes sense. Right. And I heard this great parable about we all have a thousand problems every single day until you get sick. And when you get sick, you have one problem. And the one problem is you're sick, right? And that's kind of where I felt like I was at in that moment is I was just so laser focused on being sick. And in my opinion, it just makes things compounded in my head, right? So being in the ocean, floating in the ocean really sets me free mentally because I don't think about anything but being present in the water. So bobbed around out there probably for a better part of a half hour, and um got out, laid on the beach lounger, man, put the towel over my face and drifted off into Never Never Land for a I don't know, probably about an hour.

SPEAKER_01 16:03

Yeah, you were tired, not sleeping the night before.

SPEAKER_02 16:06

Yeah, I was just wiped, man. Got up, went right back in the ocean again. And uh at some point we uh decided to go up to the room and um I was just wiped, dude. I had to take a nap. I I don't nap, I'm not a napper. Even on vacation, I don't do that. I told uh I told the wife I said I'm gonna take a nap. I just don't feel where I'm supposed to be at. So just like things happen, man. I I'm I fell asleep pretty good, and we were having this stupid issue with the uh air conditioner was leaking in the uh bathroom. We had a a repair guy come up day one to look at it, said don't worry, you're good, it's fixed. Roger that, thank you. And then shockingly, I wake up three hours later, um, and my wife's like she's like, I know you just woke up, but um, yeah, the water leaks not fixed, it's ten times worse. She's like, I'm just literally not gonna wake you up. And she's like, it's not my problem. They should have fixed it. So I walk in the bathroom, man, and right over the uh sink is a mandor in the ceiling, and there's water coming out from all four corners, dude. The counter's soaked, it's stripping everywhere. I I'm foggy headed, just right. So I I call down the front desk, and I I wish I could get the recording because I'm sure it sounded pretty funny. You know, I'm like half out of it. I'm like, dude, you need to send some up here. We got the thing, and she's like, Yeah, okay, sure. So I uh I go out on um the porch that we were on the uh third floor. I went out on the on the porch, it faces west, so it faces the ocean. Beautiful palm trees, you know, the whole thing. I'm just sitting there, man, like just trying to clear the fog. And um I hear the guy come in. I hear some rumbling and talking. You can't hear because the waves crashing into that that natural break, it's pretty loud. So um the wife comes out, she's like, Hey, uh, this guy was asking me some questions. So I went in and he's like, Hey, were you yada yada yada and this and that? And I'm like, Yeah, I was asleep, bro. Just can you get it fixed? Yeah, sure. He's all right, man, you good. Cleans everything up, fixes it, rolls out. Man, it wasn't. He he probably wasn't in the elevator leaking. You know, and I thought to myself, in the moment, I'm like, all I want to do is relax. I I don't want to deal with this, man. You know? So I call the front desk. I get a different person. He's like, Unacceptable. He said, We're moving your rooms right now. Oh, good. He said, Hang up the phone, I'll call you right back. Okay, thanks, man. Calls me back. Hey, I'm upgrading you. Uh we're gonna put you on the corner suite. What corner suites are great because it's a uh L-shaped suite on the corner of the building, so you have both sides. So where we were at, you would have the south side and you'd have the east side. So one huge wraparound porch. Does that make sense? Except you're not facing west anymore. Yeah, right. You're looking out west, so it'll be south. So you got south and west corner. Ah, okay. Right? Makes an L basically. Yeah. But that's your whole porch. So it's a it's a great upgrade, and it's just an amazing view. Room's bigger too, right? So we upgrade it's free. Unfortunately was on the fifth floor, so we had to pack everything up and log it up there.

SPEAKER_01 19:43

Oh poor guy.

SPEAKER_02 19:45

I know, and everyone's like, go F yourself right now, dude. A free upgrade.

SPEAKER_01 19:50

Not not to take away, you're feeling like dog water.

SPEAKER_02 19:53

Yeah, I just feel it was just a feeling like a shit day, man. Yeah. And I I think like we've talked about before on this podcast, sometimes those tests are gonna come whether you want them or not, and whether you're feeling good or not, those tests come, whether whatever the test may be. And for me that day it was just inconvenience, and I wasn't mentally my normal self, physically wasn't normal. So trying to self-regulate myself and not put those internal frustrations on the staff at the hotel, regardless of where we were at, isn't fair to them. And I was trying to make a conscious effort not to do that. You know what I mean? So uh Wednesday literally was just a resort day. I did not leave. Uh dinner, we went downstairs again at the restaurant and uh ate dinner. So late in the evening Wednesday, I get an email back from the from the skydiving uh group. And he's like, hey man, we hope you feel better. Not a big deal. Come by tomorrow morning, we'll rebook you, reschedule for you. We want you to jump. I was like, oh man, it's awesome. Appreciate that, right? So Thursday morning I wake up, still not 100. Probably sitting in the 80s. And um I was like, I feel good enough. I I feel mentally clear today. I feel a little bit more normal, had a little slight tinge of a headache. I'm sure that's from lack of coffee and caffeine, I'm sure. Um, so what I didn't catch on Wednesday night was they changed my jump time from 09 to 08. Oh now the trip from our resort all the way up to the northwest corner of the island uh in a place called Havih Hawaii, is the little town where we were jumping from, it was an hour 15 minute run. So we had to be out of the uh we had to be out of the hotel before seven to make jump time by eight. So no time for breakfast. Had no coffee, just just hydration and and fluid. And um it at the time I noticed it, it was like six, six. 6 15 in the morning. So I told I told the lady, hey, we gotta go stat, you know what I mean? So took the long hour and 20 minute drive up and um great drive up there. We actually talked about we've never been up to that portion of the island. It was never really anything up there. It's very remote up there and uh just something we've never done. So it was new to us. Beautiful drive. And it it uh turns into a very like grassland ranch look. Um it's just a completely different portion of the island. And uh so we get up there and um start feeling a little bit better for sure on the drive. Yeah, we get to the little airstrip that's up there, pull in the parking lot at back end park, and all I see is one little building over here on the left, which is very Hawaii style. It's just one building, probably one dude in there. I don't know. And over here on the right was a connex box. If people don't know what a connex box is, it's just a trailer, shipping cargo trailer sitting over here. And at the time we pulled in, uh the now that I know the instructor was loading up into the small Cessna aircraft with another person, and they were literally taking off for another jump right when we showed up. So I get to see that. So typical Big Island style, there's no signs, no, no information. You just gotta figure it out, dude. So we walked out the gate, walked down the grass uh uh towards the connex box, and I turned and looked in the connex box, and there's like two 20-something-year-old kids in there. I was like, hey, uh, I'm I'm here for my appointment. She said, Oh, yeah, it must be Michael. Like, yeah, nice young lady. And um checked me in, and uh she was kind of running a little front desk. I'll use air quotation uh air quotes for that, and then uh there was a young man back there, and I didn't get his name. Couldn't have been more than 25, 26, maybe, and he was packing shoots. So I was like, Man, there's a little young. Yeah, uh, okay. So I you know, I'm I'm obviously in my head I'm comparing this to the military, right? So we walk I walk out and I sit in the lounge chair, and uh my wife comes to sit down and she's like, Hey, you alright? I go, Yeah, I said, but uh there's just there's just two like 27-year-old kids in here. Like, is that who I'm jumping with? He's like, Oh, I don't know. Because when the guy left, he had a big helmet on. You couldn't see, I couldn't see his face. He's wearing a helmet, a skydiving helmet. She's like, Are you are you nervous? I said, I'm not nervous. I I think I had my own expectation on who might be there, right? So um uh we're still good. So we're I'm waiting now. Um and I I look up and watching the plane, they you know, we're jumping at 10,000 feet there uh that day, and I see him leave the aircraft and they float back down and lands. And I was like, okay, still not nervous, just being present. Um no anxiety or excitement, nothing, man. Just being present. Wow. I was really trying to mentally keep aware of that because I I wanted to know where I was at internally. So the instructor, he um gets his stuff together, comes over, and by now I'm standing over there by the connects, and uh he lifts his face mask, and I could see that he's a you know a man, probably in his uh I don't know, maybe mid-late 30s, early 40s maybe super cool dude, great energy. I I'm not gonna say his name out loud, but man, just a nice dude. And we chit-chatted about you know some of my background and if if I've ever tandem jumped, which I have not tandem jumped before, it's new to me. And um I said, excited and nervous? I'm like, no, man, I'm good. He just he he kind of looked at me, he's like, Okay, well, I guess we'll see, huh? Yeah, we'll see. So harnessed up, went over a couple things on what was getting ready to take place, and um aircraft was refueling. I asked the guy, I said, What did you do before this, man? He's like, Oh, I was in construction. I go, Wow, isn't there some irony here? I was like, I'm in construction as well. Uh so we talked about that a little bit, and he uh told me his story and hated his life working 60 plus hours every single week in the construction field wasn't his thing. And he went for a tandem jump one day, doesn't remember any of it. He was scared to death. Uh and um after that he went to skydiving, became a pilot. Uh he's a full-fledged skydiver, he's a tandem instructor. Wow, just that's what he does now, man.

SPEAKER_01 26:55

That's impressive, man. Talk about a big old change in one's life when you're not happy with what you're doing. It's it's a big leap of faith. It's kind of scary to make that big a change and trust that it's all gonna work out, but man, it it sure worked out as as it usually does. And I uh this is a tough, this is actually good timing because we're already reaching the end of this episode. And it's it's a perfect cliff to cliffhanger because we got you to Hawaii, we got you feeling better, we got you on the flight line there, you met your your jump instructor, and uh you're about to get in that airplane and go up to 10,000 feet. And I think this is just the right point to um hit that little pause button time out and say, ooh, tune in next week because there's gonna be a really good story about the skydiving.

SPEAKER_02 27:53

There definitely is, man. I agree with Shannon. It's it's a good good time to hit the pause button as we are approaching our 30-minute time limit. So it was a good timing for sure, man. Um with that, I just I just want to remind our listening audience out there. Um, we talked about it last episode. Um, if you're feeling in any way, shape, or form like you need help, man, there's people out there to help you. Um hit hit the number. We talked about the number, right? 988. 988, and it's free, and it's 24 hours a day. So uh if you're needing some help or need someone to talk to you, I highly encourage you to check that out and and see see where that takes you. Or, you know, like Shannon always says, man, book the one hour. It's uh it's a life changer.

SPEAKER_01 28:37

I don't always say that, but highly.

SPEAKER_02 28:40

We generally say something about you know, just try to book an appointment with someone, man. Get get 60 minutes in there and just unload on somebody, man, and see what they can do for you. Uh, but like always, I appreciate everybody out there that's listening to our podcast and supporting us, and it means the world to me. And we'll catch you guys uh next Wednesday. Are you people? I don't want to be guys, that's that's universal, right? It's funny. I always catch myself sometimes on that. Like, oh people, my humans, my human beings out there. Yeah, catch us on the flip side. Um, but this will this will end this week. Uh, hope everybody has a great week. Uh look forward to sharing with you the rest of my experience um in the next episode. So uh for Mike Seahorn, Shannon Mora, we will catch you uh next week.