5 Subtle Masculine Behaviors That TURN HER ON | Relationship Dynamics Pt. III | 15.3

Most men have no idea why women suddenly lose interest, start pulling away, or friend-zone them.

In this episode, I reveal 5 subtle masculine behaviors that quietly turn high-quality women on — the kind of things she feels but can’t always explain.

You’ll also learn the 5 common mistakes that instantly turn her off:

• Neediness and seeking constant validation
• Complaining and victim talk
• Trash talking and negativity
• Arrogance, bragging, and trying too hard to impress
• Lack of initiative and leadership

These turn-offs are what keep most men in the bottom 95%. 

When you cut them out and replace them with calm, grounded, masculine traits, everything changes. You’ll naturally build real confidence with women, become more attractive without trying hard, and start attracting higher quality women who actually respect and desire you.

This isn’t about pickup lines or fake alpha behavior.
It’s about becoming the kind of man who naturally creates attraction through his presence, actions, and energy.

If you’re tired of mixed signals, rejection, or feeling like you’re doing everything “right” but still coming up short, this episode will show you exactly what’s been holding you back — and what to do instead.

Stop guessing. Start attracting.

Let’s make you the man women actually want. 

#AttractionSecrets #MasculineEnergy #DatingAdviceForMen #HighValueMan #StopBeingNeedy #MensMentalHealth #RelationshipAdvice #PodcastForMen #BadassComeback #breakuprecovery #divorcerecovery

Hosted by Chris Ryan - Professional Life Coach | B.A. Psychology

Breakup and divorce recovery coaching for men

For coaching inquiries and general questions, email: coachchrisryan@gmail.com

*The BCP is 100% self-funded and does not run ads.

Keywords: breakup recovery for men, divorce recovery for men, rebuilding identity after breakup, masculine qualities after divorce, feeling incomplete after breakup, reclaiming masculinity post-breakup, life after divorce for men, men's self-improvement after breakup, healing from heartbreak men, post-breakup identity crisis men, divorced men recovery, broken up men healing, men's mental health after relationship ends.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Let's go, boys. Welcome to part three of this series on relationship dynamics. Today we're talking about five subtle masculine things that you probably already do that turn women on. And also five things that turn her off. So if you are ready to deprogram your brain from whatever messed you up with women in the past and learn how a badass attracts women, you're listening to the right episode. Welcome to the Badass Comeback Podcast. You know, these days there's a lot of mixed signals that are coming from the internet about what women are attracted to and what turns them off. In one corner, you hear, oh, hot girls only date assholes. You can't score unless you have money, height, or looks, shit like that. In the other corner, you hear, happy wife, happy life, which is wrongly interpreted as just doing whatever she wants you to do. And then you have women straight up giving wrong advice about how to attract women that is screwing guys over left and right. There's just so much misinformation out there, but all it takes is one, learning how the masculine and feminine dynamic works, and two, unlocking those masculine traits within you. Then things will start to click. And that is part of my mission here on this podcast. I create content to support y'all who are fresh out of a divorce or breakup, but I also teach relationship dynamics to reach those of you who are ready to jump back into the dating scene. And yes, what I'm about to reveal to you guys today will help keep your next relationship fun, exciting, and happy for a long freaking time. So without further ado, let's kick it off. We're actually going to start with the five things that turn her off and how to avoid them, and then we'll go into the ones that make her wetter than a slip and slide. Okay, turn off number one, complaining. What is complaining? It's basically showing that you are unhappy about something that A, you cannot change, or B, you can change, but choose not to. For the things we can change but choose not to, it shows lack of initiative. It shows lack of confidence. It's a symptom of victim mentality. For the things we can't change, it shows an unwillingness to change ourselves to make it better. For example, which of the following statements about work shows more confidence? First statement my job sucks. My boss is a dick. He doesn't pay me what I'm worth. It's a drag going in every day, and the economy sucks, so I'm stuck here until the job market opens back up. Or this statement, number two. Yeah, I'm looking for a new job. And yeah, it's a challenge because the economy sucks right now, but I'm just not happy where I'm at, and I know I can make a lot more for my skill set. Plus, I want to be excited going into work every day. I just don't get that at this job. That second statement has a lot more emphasis on changing his situation. It shows effort. If you don't like something you can't change, maybe the answer is to find something better. And that second statement shows that. The first statement is just complaining with no solution and blaming outside factors like the economy for why he isn't getting a better job. I think you get the point here, guys. Here's how to apply it. When you feel yourself wanting to complain about something, keep your mouth shut. Now, if you can put a positive spin on it, go for it. Especially if, for example, your new date asks you if you like your job. Women don't like a guy who complains, at least, I guess without a solution that he's working towards. It shows a lack of confidence and motivation. It also just shows that he's negative and that if she stays with him, she could quite possibly become the next target of that negativity. All right, second thing that turns her off, neediness. Remember from last episode where we talked about how the feminine follows the masculine? When you are being needy, you are trying to follow her. Common examples of neediness are constant texting her for reassurance, instead of waiting for her to text back, always wanting to hang out with her, getting overly jealous or envious early on in the relationship, always asking where she is, what she's doing, always clearing your schedule to hang out with her, never saying no. The list goes on. Neediness shows that she has become the sole purpose of your life. Now, for some of you, it may seem like this is a good thing, as you're probably thinking that she's going to somehow fall in love with you the more you're in front of her. This does the opposite. What this tells her is that she's looking at a guy who doesn't have anything going on in his life, a guy who is desperate for female companionship. In a previous episode, I mentioned that girls pursue a dude who seems just out of her reach. When you're blowing up her phone, canceling your plans to hang out with her, and following her around like a little puppy, you're totally predictable. Contrary to what you might think, you are not showing reliability, you are putting yourself in the submissive role. And unless you want a woman who is domineering and wants to treat you like a doormat, cut out the needy shit. Now, how do we do this? Three quick things. Texting. You text her, she responds. You respond back, she responds back. It's a back and forth, like tennis. Wait for her to respond. Especially when you're first dating. Do not send a follow-up text. Oftentimes, women will test a guy by purposely not responding right away. Be patient. Wait. Number two, don't move your schedule for her if you guys are dating. In fact, there are only a few instances you should move your schedule when you guys get exclusive and married. You are your own man. You have goals, a mission, and a purpose. Stick to it. Girls, come and go. It's not worth it to move your important shit around for a little date where you might even wind up not even liking her. Figure out a time that works for you and her and plan things with her that way. And finally, number three, get rid of your jealousy. I know, easier said than done. For those of you who are overly jealous, this will come naturally once you start building up your confidence. You already are good enough for her. And if some other dude is in the picture somehow, honestly, I would just move on. No need to try and tear her away from him by trash talking him or trying to convince her he's no good for her. And this leads us into turnoff number three, trash talking other people, especially other guys she might be interested in. Don't fucking do it. Yeah, I know she's hot. I know you like her. You guys click, but if there's another guy that she's interested in, or her ex might be trying to come back or some shit, the solution is simple. Just don't feed into that conversation. If she starts talking about other guys, just let her say whatever it is and then change the subject. If you start saying shit like, well, you know your ex doesn't even have a job, I make six figures, or you know he doesn't treat you the way that you deserve to be treated. You need a guy who will treat you like a queen. What you're basically telling her is that you need to prove yourself to her. You might think it works, but it actually shows that you're not confident enough to just be yourself. You're pretty much putting yourself in the submissive role. And in all honesty, it's something girls do sometimes to try and quote, get the guy jealous, which will make them like her more. This actually has the opposite effect. Guys don't like a girl who brags about other guys who are barking up her tree. This is also a drama red flag. Maybe she's the type that gets excited when guys fight each other over her. Yuck. Toxic as fuck. And that's just one of many things that girls do wrong that turn guys off left and right. But reeling it back here, when you feel the urge to trash talk, just don't about any other dudes or anybody in general. And if she's talking about other dudes, change the subject. All right, turn off number four, lack of initiative. Not going for the phone number or the first date or asking her something like what you guys should do after the date. The feminine wants to be led. Take the initiative and set the plans with her. You can refer back to episode 15, the first one of this series, to copy and paste the way to show direction and dominance without being domineering or controlling. But this point also has to do with your own life. If you're not moving up in life in some way, you're just letting life take you where it wants to, you don't have direction. That's not a guy who is in touch with his masculinity. Masculinity builds, it improves, it helps other people, changes lives. Masculinity creates. You know, now that I think of it, a great formula is to be a guy who is working towards a big goal with cool side quests along the way. A man who is driven and accomplishing things is so fucking rare these days, boys, that if you can start writing your new badass chapter, finding a girl who takes all of your boxes will be so much easier than you think. Show that initiative in your own life. She needs to know that if she eventually leaves, she's also going to be leaving behind all the cool things you're building that she could have experienced with you. A guy who sits around all day working a shit job and complaining is not attractive. So show initiative. Go for the date. Demonstrate your confidence by being that guy who goes for what he wants. Which leads us into number five, arrogance and bragging. This also goes for flashing your money, name dropping, oversharing your wins, things like that. Sure, it took a lot of work to make that money or meet that person, but the moment you start bragging about it, you demonstrate weakness. It's basically just a need for other people to accept you. That is not the badass way. Badass confidence is unspoken and is instead demonstrated in how he carries himself and treats other people. Let her discover those cool things about you later on. If you show all of your cards right away, there's no fucking mystery anymore. So when you feel yourself wanting to prove to her how dope you are, stop. Don't say it. Instead, save it for when she asks you about it. Spend enough time with her and she'll eventually find all that out. To her, it will be like uncovering a secret awesome thing about you that not everyone knows about, and that makes you rare. And that about wraps it up for five turnoffs, guys. All five of those demonstrate low confidence. Confidence in yourself is the number one factor in feminine attraction to the masculine. Confidence indicates survivability. In other words, will you be able to handle life's bullshit? And will you be able to protect her from life's bullshit if she commits to you? Not only some kind of physical threat, but what about financials? She's not going to want to be with a guy who will sit around and complain if he gets laid off instead of immediately looking for work and setting in new job applications. What about life direction? The feminine does not want to lead the masculine and be his mommy throughout the rest of her life. What about social? She wants a guy who knows he is enough for her and won't try and manipulate her away from other dudes in her orbit. And so that wraps up five things that turn her off. Do the opposite of those five, and you will separate yourself from 95% of guys out there. All right, now for what you clicked on this episode for five subtle things you probably already do that turn her on. Number one, parallel parking. Wait, really? Apparently, yes. For some reason, a lot of girls like it. But think of it. When you stop in a busy street, throw it in reverse, put your hand on her headrest, look over your shoulder, and single-handedly, literally, spin that steering wheel, you're showing confidence and competence. Your car costs money. The other cars around you do as well. When you can whip the whip into a parking space in less than 10 seconds without hitting her arch nemesis, the curb, you're demonstrating your skills in a badass way. A way that is, yes, unspoken. But obviously, don't get cocky and go any faster than you're comfortable. Be smart. And yes, if parallel parking is not your forte, shit, go practice in an empty parking lot. And don't be a wuss and stare at your car's 360 camera while you're doing it. And don't even think about hitting the self-park button on those Teslas or whatever electric car does all the manly work for you. Do it the old school way. You will impress the hell out of her. Especially if her last date was a guy who used a self-park and tried to get her to admit that it was cool or high-tech or whatever. Boring. Other things you can do while driving, be relaxed. And you can practice this on your own. Sit back, hold the steering wheel lightly at 9-3 or one-handed. If you're the type of person who leans forward away from your seat back, or you're tense while you drive, maybe gripping the steering wheel, now is the time to find a more relaxed position. You may have to adjust your seat and your mirrors. And yes, guys, I am a life coach, not a driving instructor, but it's pretty common knowledge that being relaxed while you drive just makes you a better driver. And this will translate to how she sees you. Think of this from her perspective. She is a girl. Most likely you're bigger and stronger than she is. You are also operating a motor vehicle which already has its inherent risks. She's already taking your risk, going out with you in your car when she barely knows you. If you are relaxed while you're driving and can parallel park like a boss, energy transference happens. She will in turn feel relaxed as well. She sees that you're confident behind the wheel and in control of the car. And when she is relaxed with you, she will have more room to be turned on. If she is nervous around you, other than the first date jitters, of course, she will never get turned on. She will close off. And no amount of self-driving is going to help that. So learn to parallel park effectively if you suck at it and adopt a more relaxed driving position if you don't have one. All right, turn on number two, remembering details. This can be anything from what she picked to eat on a prior date, something she said, something about her, something about a place you guys went, etc. Remembering those small details and bringing them up when the moment strikes is a turn on. It shows that you are attentive to her. It shows her that you care enough about her to remember those little things. This makes her feel important. She doesn't want to feel like another notch in your bedpost or something meaningless like that. When you can bring up some little innocuous detail about something from the past, you will make her feel like a million bucks. Here's how you can work that in. Let's say that you've been on a few dates and you're taking her on a hike one morning. You go to the coffee shop before you pick her up. She gets in your car and then you say, Hey, I got you that half-calf peppermint mocha that you were talking about the other day. Or you're on the hike and you ask her about that book she was reading. Are you still reading that one book about the dragon and the princess? Last time you mentioned you weren't sure if you liked it enough to finish it. Whatever it is, be detailed when you bring it up. Now, obviously, don't just jam it into a conversation. Let it flow naturally. She's gonna feel special. I guarantee 97% of guys don't do this. To her, they're just typical dudes, unaware, don't show her that they care, and don't like her. But wait, what if those other dudes actually do like her? Well, like we talked about last week, the feminine is more emotionally engaged than we are. When you bring up even simple innocuous details about whatever, she is going to feel excited and happy. Those emotions will connect her to you more, and she's gonna think, oh, he does like me. Does it make sense? No. But this is just one of many ways to let her know that you like her without straight up saying, Hey, I really like you. Side note, guys, never tell her how much you like her. Unless she asks, of course. That's actually another turn off. Most likely she already knows that you like her because you are giving her your time and attention. Demonstrate your attentiveness by throwing a couple of those small things in every once in a while. Remember, we have to engage her emotions, and this is a great way to do it. Alright, turn on number three, taking off your shirt. Yes, another weird one for some reason. Reach behind, grab that collar, pull that shirt off over your head. I don't actually have a scientific explanation for this one, but it's another subtle turn on. Number four, roll up your sleeves. You know, ZZ Top was right. Every girl crazy bada, sharp dressed man. You would think that girls would be most attracted to a super jacked guy in a tank top with all of his muscles showing, but a guy in a well-tailored suit, or at least just well dressed, ranks higher. Why? It indicates that he's well put together. Roll up those sleeves. It indicates he's confident and not afraid to get his hands dirty. Yes, even if he is white-collar. Which, if you think about it, can be appealing to girls who like white-collar and girls who like blue collar. So, guys, roll up those sleeves. That is another subtle turn on for some reason. All right, turn on number five: being good with animals and kids. A guy who is good with kids hits the main reproductive circuit in a chick. I mean, obviously, if you're good with kids, it shows her you're going to be good with her kids if she has some with you. This hits her primal instincts hard. She is biologically designed to have kids. Kind of like the same concept of the main thing that attracts us to women. Most guys look for a woman who is healthy and fit. If she's fit and healthy, it indicates that our kids, if we have them with her, are also going to be fit and healthy, which makes sense because the biggest turn on for us guys is if she's hot. Being good with kids also indicates good aura. Kids are naturally really in touch with energy, which is why if you smile at a kid, they're most likely going to smile back. If you have good aura, animals will also be interested in you. If you can get a dog to obey basic commands when they first meet you, that's a great sign. Even cats. If you let cats come to you instead of you just running to them and the cat lets you pet them, that's also a really good sign. Your aura is basically your energy. And for some of you right now, your energy is probably at an all-time low. And I know that you're working towards improving it. Just remember that when you rebuild yourself after life fucks you over, you will emerge stronger and be at more peace than you were before. If your aura was like a six before your life turned to shit and now it's a three, keep rebuilding and you will get it up to an eight or possibly higher. So that wraps it up for our two lists today. Yes, the explanations in the second list were shorter, but the first list is more important. In order to learn, we must unlearn. It's basically on learning the incorrect societal programming. Once you can get rid of the old, in with the new. Regardless, everything that we talked about is designed to tune up your masculinity in your next relationship. Realistically, though, you should be tuning up your masculinity in your own life, especially for you single guys out there. The formula is really simple. Work on yourself, learn about relationship dynamics, implement those unlocked traits, and have a happy, healthy, and exciting long-term relationship when you're ready. As we have talked about in the previous two episodes, is this a guarantee that the woman you're dating will respond well to these things? Anything that we talked about? Of course not. There are women who will still just be the way they are, no matter how put together or masculine her dude is. But at least you'll know which ones to let go and which one to keep. This is how you go from settling to having choice. You guys will soon start realizing how most guys are screwing these easy things up. Contrary to what the internet says, you don't need to become something you're not, nor do you need to be a certain height or physique with a million dollars in the bank to find high quality women. Actually, if every guy out there knew how the masculine and feminine dynamic actually works, you would need all those extra superficial things to find good women. But you're in luck, my brother. Most guys have no clue about this shit and or they're not willing to learn. Guys, right now your competition out there is way less than you think. And the more you learn about this shit, you will have even less competition. The feminine is such a beautiful thing, but our society is diluting the masculine edge. As a result, women aren't as feminine as they used to be, mostly because men aren't as masculine as they used to be. But when you meet a chick who is all about it, she's eventually going to say something like, Something about you is different, but I don't know what it is. What that means is that she's dated guys who She thinks she should be attracted to, but when they don't know how to be the masculine badass she actually wants, she loses attraction and interest, and then he's just another guy she dated. You're different though, because not only are you rebuilding in the most badass way possible, you're learning how to keep your next chick attracted to you. It is 100% attainable, boys. Keep learning this shit. Your masculinity will unlock and everything will start to click. And yes, it is way easier being in a relationship with this dynamic at play than you think. Certainly easier than not knowing it all. And yes, there is a lot more to cover. And I hope you stay tuned for our next relationship dynamics episode, probably next month sometime. In the next few episodes, though, we're going to be dialing it back and talking about strategies and mindsets that will help you pull out of depression and post-breakup slump so you can get rolling on feeling better and kicking ass once again. All right, guys, thank you for being here with me today. I am so stoked for you guys learning this shit. You're going to exceed your own expectations. And do me a favor, once this stuff starts to click, teach other guys about it. We need more breakup and divorce coaches, more podcasters and authors teaching how to rebuild. And we need just more masculinity in general. This is how we give the world a badass comeback. Gentlemen, take care of yourselves, and I will see you next week. Thank you for joining me in another badass episode, brother. If you want to accelerate into this new chapter in your life and get a boost into your badass journey, sign up for a free 45-minute consultation for post-breakup or divorce coaching. All the info is in the episode description. Also, please remember to like and comment. And if you know anyone who could use this info in their badass journey, please share this episode with them. None of this will be possible without you guys, so thank you again, and I will see you in the next episode.