My Journey through Menopause with Jill Covert

In this Podcast you will learn about my journey through Menopause. I started having symptoms of Menopause almost exactly one year ago.  Since then, it's been a wild ride filled with mood swings, joint pain and hot flashes (OMG the hot flashes). It has been hard to get used to these crazy changes happening in my body but it has also led to some moments of clarity and growth. 

I have learned to prioritize myself, to use herbs, make lifestyle changes, use yoga to support and calm my nervous system, and to use supportive relationships to improve my mood, symptoms and connection with others. 

Join me in this episode as you learn:

• the benefits of yoga; a breathing practice you might try to calm hot flashes
• benefits of connection with others
• how to get past the societal stereotypes to promote self care
• the benefits of being open about what's happening to those you love

You will hear the story of how this podcast came about and why and personal stories about my journey. Hopefully some of the experiences I have had sound familiar and will help you to feel not so alone in what you are experiencing.

Contact me to work with me, to ask questions, or just to connect. 

www.closdlotusyt.com or email me: closedlotusyt@gmail.com 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

The podcast finding balance in menopause. I'm your host, Joe Colbert, a social worker and yoga therapist, owner of yoga. I created this podcast for women in menopause who are interested in finding a holistic way of moving through menopause. Nothing's off the table, and all sorts of interventions will be discussed. Each episode, I'll have a new expert on the podcast who has experience working with or going through menopause. Sometimes both. When I started menopause, I had zero information and I'm gathering it from some of the most knowledgeable women I've met. We'll talk yoga, nutrition, hormones, supplements, emotional and physical transitions, and more. If you like the podcast and want to know other things I'm doing, visit my website, closelotusyt.com, and subscribe to my newsletter. Let's get into our episode. Hi, my name's Jill, and I'm the creator of Finding Balance in Menopause. I wanted to take a moment today to talk a little bit about my experience of menopause and how I came to offer this podcast. My purpose in creating it was really to give myself more information about what's available to help with menopause, what other women have experienced in their menopausal journeys, and to talk to experts about what might help through myself or other women to get through menopause. So I just want to start first with my story. I started menopause, perimenopause about a year ago, a year ago, year ago, April, so almost exactly a year ago. At the time, I had no idea what was happening. I had chosen to go off the birth control uh after my husband had gotten a vasectomy. And I knew we didn't want to expand our family any further. We have two daughters, and neither of us wanted any other kids. So we decided as a couple that I did need to get off the pill and that he would get a vasectomy. So I give him a lot of credit for that because it wasn't easy. And things have changed in his body, you know, with the vasectomy, but very small little subtle changes that um I wouldn't use that to deter anyone from getting a vasectomy. So if you are interested in getting more information about that, you can of course talk to have your doctor husband talk to a surgeon about that procedure. But after he got his vasectomy and we were cleared to have sex without birth control or any goalie per se, in the way, we decided um I went off the pill and it was so freeing. I was really happy, like, I don't have to take any more pills at night. It's so great. And then, oh my gosh, it just hit me like a freight train on a really fast-moving track. I all of a sudden was not getting a period. I was feeling really emotionally fragile, like I didn't know what was happening. I was irritable. I would be doing the dishes, and all of a sudden I would just feel this rage in my body. And I was like, what is that? I I've never experienced that before. So I immediately started panicking because I started just feeling feeling totally out of sorts in my body. And then the hot flashes started, and I thought, holy shit, I know exactly. I think I know what's going on. I think I'm in menopause now. And I just thought to myself, well, I'm really too young to be in menopause. This can't be right. So I eventually went, I went to see my doctor because I think it was my annual exam anyway. And we were talking, and she said, Well, the symptoms that you're describing sound a lot like menopause. And she said that she had experienced an early menopause herself, and that 47 was actually not early. And my mother had noted that she was in menopause in her 50s. I think probably there were a lot of signals that menopause was here before the actual menopause, but you know, a lot of women aren't really that connected to we're not connected to our bodies, so we might not many women might miss that if the signs aren't and the symptoms aren't really great, like mine were. So funny enough, she we were having this conversation. She had done a blood test because I had told her sort of what was going on, and she confirmed with the blood test that you know I was likely going through perimenopause because of the follicle stimulating hormone, and the levels of that were kind of um low, which indicated to her that I was likely in perimenopause. If you've listened to the other podcast, the other podcasts I've had up to this one, you'll know that that might not be the most efficient way of really determining someone's hormonal status with menopause. So I'm not using that as uh this is the best way, but this was just the indicator that she had provided me with that things were probably moving towards towards menopause. So she'd also done a vaginal exam and had said that my uterus was um trying to think of the word. Uh it was basically my uterus was getting old. I forget the word she used. But I was like, oh wow, so my uterus is drying up. I'm like getting old. This is just really crappy. So she did prescribe me uh vaginal cream, which has been a lifesaver, and sent me on my way to just sort of monitor things and see how that cream worked out. I would all was also struggling with high blood pressure, which came out of nowhere when I went off the pill, which also made it really a blessing that I did go off the pill because that would have been, you know, you don't want to be in high blood pressure, medicine or have high blood pressure and be on the birth control pill because you could have a stroke or a variety of medical things could happen. So here I am. I have perimenopause, I'm hot flashing, like nobody's business. I'm having joint pains, I'm not sleeping well because I'm just sweating at night, and I'm like lashing out at everybody. So I immediately thought, well, I need to get some solutions to this. I can't continue this way. So that's when I kind of started my quest of figuring out what to do about menopause and how to get through menopause. One of the things that my doctor had told me was that she didn't really want me going on the hormone replacement therapy because I had had that interuterine bleeding in between my periods. So that immediately made me say, Well, I'm on this vaginal cream, which um ended up working great, and I need to figure out something else to manage what's going on in the rest of my body. So I immediately started looking into yoga because yoga has really been my fallback, my guide, my way of kind of moving inward in my body as a yoga therapist, as a yoga teacher, as a woman who has practiced yoga in some sense of the word since she was um in college. So since I was like 19 years old, I've been practicing some kind of yoga. And I really turned there and I found that there wasn't a lot of options. There weren't a lot of yogis that were talking about menopause that were helping women to guide them their way through menopause. And that was really frustrating because I was like, what do I do from here? So I actually ended up finding two yoga therapists uh who are out of the States. So uh one's in the UK, Patrick Hovney, who is gonna be a guest on my podcast. I'm really excited to have a conversation with her about her book and um all things menopause and yoga. And then um I found another woman named Daly, who I think is maybe also British, but might be um might be Australian. I have to look up that. Oh no, she's Irish. Yes, Neme Dally's Irish. And I read her, I purchased and read her book as well. And they had some great tips on ways to modify your yoga practice for both relaxation and restorative restoration, as well as strength training, a flexibility, and all those things that we really lose as we get older. So it's so important that we change our practices, our yoga, our exercise, our general way of moving our bodies has to be addressed in menopause. If you push yourself, if you still try to run all those miles in a hot flash, or when you're feeling fatigued or exhausted, your body is going to respond to that and you're gonna just crash. And I say that from my own experience of pushing through, even just doing something, either exercise or taking a walk or doing yard work and just not allowing myself those breaks, those pauses to stop and really think about feel your body and say, okay, my body needs to take a 10-minute break, get a drink of water, have a snack, just cool down and take a pause. Because that in menopause is so important. And women who who don't do that really are going to end up um just getting burnt out. So I immediately started adjusting my practice. I started honoring my body's need to do more restorative postures, to do more slow-moving yoga, more stretching, more active stretching. So, as opposed to going into a posture and just letting my body be kind of just there in the posture, I do a lot more grounding through my feet, building up through my legs, into my butt, into, you know, positioning my pelvis, belly, and towards the spine, really being engaged and present in the posture. Whereas before I would have been there and functionally maybe perfect or or or what's expected in a yoga posture. But I wasn't necessarily grounding myself and feeling solid and completely fully engaged. And that's the thing I got from Neem Dali's book was really the need for that more active yoga. Um, active in the way of not moving faster, sweating more, but being more present and more aware of what your body's feeling in that posture, which the yoga therapy has prepared me for, anyways, because that's what we do in yoga therapy. We pay attention to what's happening in the body and how that presence in our body is then impacting us. So that was helpful. And then I also started to do more exercise. I had downloaded a program that was um, you know, a pay as you go, pay every month program online, and I hadn't really been great about doing it. And then I came into my perimenopause, and probably over the last, I would say, since September or so, I've really been much better at getting up, getting the kids off to school, and getting myself an exercise routine involving weights, some therabands, and some just, you know, movement and cardio. And that has really helped to feel like I'm doing something without really pushing myself to do a really heavy, impactful routine. Cause that right now would not suit me. I really need something small, um, short, and something that's going to be impactful. So the weights, cardio, some cardio, and the other um, just kind of moving and engaging as you move exercise has been really pop, really helpful. I also met with an herbalist, and I'm hoping she'll also be on this podcast at some point. Um, and she recommended a few different herb supplements that were helpful. I have heard that black kohosh is really helpful. I have not gotten in a pill form, and the the liquid is just awful. So um, if anyone wants to try that, I do suggest you go with a pill form. And any herbs that you that you try, you'll need to talk to your doctor or a health professional. So this herbalist that I worked with, um, she is also a physician's assistant. So she was very much aware of how to work with me with my blood pressure medication I'm now on, um, and any other medications that you might be on. So, and by no means prescribing black kohash for everyone because it might be contraindicated for some of you who have certain medications that you're on or other comorbidities. And then she also um suggested a couple of other medications or supplements for me that I have recently begun taking. So that's another great option um is to get on like an adaptogen medication or supplement that can help you to maybe boost mood or just start to feel like the transition is a little less chaotic in your body. Um, I've also started to change how I eat. So in Ayurveda, which is the nutrition of yoga essentially, um, it's an Indian thousands-year-old practice of nutrition they use in India and is also becoming fairly popular in the US as people are more familiar with yoga and certain types of diets and nutrition. And in that, in that way of eating and nutrition, they're really clear about eating within certain time frames of the day. So that's all based on your pront, your your Agni, your fire, and the types of things your body's doing internally at each part of the day. So between certain times before eight o'clock in the morning, your body is in a certain state that's really prime for digesting food. There's a lot of pitta, which is like the energy of the fire energy. And that really helps to digest and nutrient and process your food. So they suggest not eating between like 8 and 11:30, because during that time you've hopefully eaten a good breakfast with some of the things that my other guests have talked about, like protein, fruits and vegetables, excuse me, and gotten some of those other. Um, you've hopefully had a good breakfast so that you can go through until 11:30. What I found I was doing was eating like a piece of toast or grabbing some like a muffin or a scone or something that was not necessarily really even necessary at that time of day. I was just eating it because I'm like, oh, I I feel a little bit hungry. Like I could go for a scone or a muffin, you know. So I would just go and get that. And I was finding that then I wouldn't eat till like 12:30 because I had had that burst of carbohydrate around around you know, 10:30, 11. So, you know, really I found now that my prime eating for lunch is 11:30 to 1230. And you're with Ayurveda, you eat between 11:30 and 1 o'clock, is when your digestive fire is the hottest. So, you know, eating in those time frames and then again eating very few snacks in between the lunch time and the dinner time is also helpful because then you're not really eating all those snacks. But they do obviously give some space for if you know you don't have a big enough lunch and you're hungry, then of course you don't want to starve yourself. So, you know, there are some things that you could probably eat or a small snack that would help to sustain you till dinner. But for me, those things have helped to also get my weight under control, where I'm still not the weight I have been, but I don't feel like I'm getting any heavier than I was, which for me is really hard to swallow that weight gain because I've always been a certain size. I always prided myself on being able to wear the clothes I had worn in my 20s, in my 30s. And now here I am in my in my 40s, and I have to get like another size up, and I can't find things to wear in the morning, and it's just become really challenging to dress myself in the morning and still feel confident, um, meaning not resorting to sweatpants all the time. So those are just some tips that that have worked for me in finding a way to curb some of that weight gain. Although I do acknowledge that a lot of the weight gain that I've had in the other women experience is nothing, has nothing to do with what you're eating. Sometimes it just might be it's just your hormones and what your hormones are doing, and they're causing that whole system to be out of whack. Some other things I do for myself, I get regular acupuncture and I also get regular massages. So regular would mean once a month. I do both. I get a monthly massage and an acupuncture. And I feel like that's really helped me too. The massage was something I've been doing for the last several years, just recognizing that my body holds a lot of tension and that for me, it was really necessary to have that time to really work those knots out and address some of the stuff that's going on in my body. Um, and the woman I see has been really great and is also going through menopause. So, you know, ask a woman when you see her on if you're friends with a woman or you have a woman who's doing your hair, be like, oh, I'm in menopause. And they'll most likely say, Oh, yeah, so am I, or oh, my sister just was starting that process. Or, you know, there's always gonna be somebody that you run into because we're everywhere. I mean, women are are millions of people on our population. So of course, you're gonna have women who millions or thousands, hundreds of thousands, not millions of women who are gonna be experiencing menopause right now. So, I mean, the benefits of yoga are pretty unlimited. I mean, for me, yoga is a a place to work on calming your body to deal with some of the stress of the symptoms you might be experiencing. There are a number of techniques that you can use to change to use pranayama or breathing techniques that you can use to not only de stress, but also to cool your body. Um, there's one that you kind of make like a you put your tongue at the bottom of your mouth towards your bottom lip, and you make like you don't have to make a tunnel, but you just kind of like make it so the breath will come in through over the top of your tongue, and then you hold it, and then you exhale through the nose. So maybe you even try that now. You can like inhale through the mouth with your mouth kind of pursed a little bit and your tongue laying on the bottom, and just suck in and then hold it, and then let it out through your nose.

SPEAKER_01 20:19

And then try it again.

SPEAKER_00 20:29

And that would be something you would practice over and over again. Um, so that can be cooling. There's also a mantra that Petra Kovney uses that is something to the effect of um this is just a hot flash, it will come and go. Um let it be, or something like that. That's not as graceful as she says it, but um, yeah, so there's also you know that calming mantra of this is okay, this will pass, this is just here in the moment, which is also a great way to acknowledge your menopause that you know this is just a part of your uh a step in your life, in your transition, and it will pass. So a big part of menopause, managing menopause is stress, and stress really is the reason for those hot flashes. So if you're not certain about that, um, you know, you might have already picked up on that being a trend. I certainly did within a short period of time. That when I'm here by myself at my house all day doing work and all those things, my hot flashes are much less. As soon as my kids come home, my husband comes home, my hot flashes ramp up. And I think that's just the stress that we're used to carrying as women is accentuated as we're in perimenopause. And that leads me to my point of needing to slow down. And this is probably a pretty edgy subject for many of us because women are told that we have to always be doing for ourselves, always be doing for others, that we can't slow down, that we can't rest. And some women are probably really good at this. Um, I feel like a lot of women are not. Because we do have that self-expectation and then it, that societal expectation of always having to have a full-time job, raise the kids, have dinner on the table, take the kids to their sports events and their dance and all the other stuff they have going on, um, and take care of ourselves and um, you know, do yoga and have an exercise program. So I don't know about all of you, but that is not that is not the way most women's lives are. We have a, I mean, that is how our lives are, but it's very impractical to continue ongoing, especially when you're moving through menopause and perimenopause. And that's something that's probably been the most valuable lesson for me is that it's okay to say to your family, I have to step away from this because I'm overwhelmed. And I need to take a rest. I'm gonna go take a nap in the in like two, two, three o'clock in the afternoon, and to be okay with that. So for me, my family is okay with that in in a lot of ways, but they are okay with that because they know what what it's been like for me. And I think the more we try to hide what's happening, the more frustrated we're going to become. So I'm just all about being completely open about what the process is with my family. You can't hide some of it. They probably already know about it, anyways. When you're sitting at the table and your face turns bright red and sweat starts dripping down your face, they're gonna figure out that either you're having a heart attack or there's something else going on. So I'm just all about full disclosure with the family about what's happening. And I think this is also really revealing. If you tell your family, I'm specifically thinking of your partner. Um, if you tell your partner that you're going through this or that you need a break, and they deny that to you or make you feel bad for taking a break. Um, I feel like that is a real red flag and it's probably gonna be uh something that's gonna show up for you down the road because that is the only thing that's really gotten me through menopause has been the support of my husband and my kids. And that support sometimes just looks like hey, I need to step away from doing the dishes right now because I'm just totally overwhelmed, my body's hot flushing, and I just I really need to go lay down and just move and breathe. And then that that partner is willing to take over. That right there is the beauty of having that positive support in a marriage or a partnership, and not to say if you're that it's always easy for that partner, because there have been a lot of times where um I'll say, Well, my mood is just all over the place today. I'm really sorry. And his response has been, oh, great. So, you know, some days it it's not it's not always gonna be a perfect response. But then, you know, I'll say, Well, what do you mean great? Like it's not great in this body either. Like, I'm not loving where I'm at today. And then he'll say, Well, I don't mean it that way. I just mean I I get what you're experiencing, but it doesn't make doesn't make it easier for for them to handle it, which I think is definitely valid that we're not in this alone. The people who love us and the people who support us and care about us are also going through this. So I think that's also an important thing to know and recognize. And it is okay for women to sit around and do nothing, to just sit on the couch and look out the window, to you know, do things that in the moment feel like they're necessary for us. So just giving yourself that permission. And if it does become an issue with a partner, you know, there is therapy for to provide a space to talk about what's happening and to get on the same page. Yoga therapy is also another good option, and you know, yoga therapy as opposed to talk therapy really brings up and confronts the things that are right there that are happening in the in the moment. So in in winding things up, I just wanna let everyone listening know that this has definitely been a process for me. Where I was a year ago when all this started, and where I am now are not the same place. There are days that are really hard. There are days where I hot flash like 15 times. I'm not exaggerating, and I'm exhausted, my joints hurt, and I feel I feel moody. And on those days, I just need to give myself some grace. On the days that I feel really great, maybe I'm gonna have a period, maybe, you know, that time of the time we're in in perimenopause is very chaotic. There's a lot of rise and fall of hormones. And the days when my hormones are up there and I'm feeling good, I do a little bit more. I'm able to do maybe a more vigorous workout, maybe go for a longer walk. But there is still gonna be that need in my body to rest more. So I really just have to acknowledge that and accept that and provide more rest in my body. So if you're struggling with your symptoms, if you're feeling like you're totally out of control, there are a lot of things that can help support you. There's herbs, there's acupuncture, there's massage, there's nutrition, there are hormones that you can take. Um, I love Haley Sha, Dr. Haley Schaff and Dr. Ruth O'Doy did a great job of talking about um how you can one can use hormones either during perimenopause or post-menopause. And um, you know, you can just talk to your doctor, find a good doctor that you feel like listens to you, supports the decisions that you're making. When I went to my doctor and talked to her about my use of herbs and other things to try to manage my symptoms, she was really supportive of that, recognizing that, you know, whatever helps you to get through is going to be the best option. So I hope this has been helpful hearing my story, hearing some of the things that work for me. And I hope that you'll listen to my upcoming podcasts. I hope you enjoyed hearing about my journey through menopause. My goal is for you to leave these podcasts feeling informed and empowered to make the right choices for you, whatever they are. You don't have to do it alone, and there are experts to help you find your way. If you want to work with me to find your way through menopause using yoga, mindfulness, breathing, and other techniques. Contact me at closelotusyt at email.com or reach out through my website, www.closelotusyt.com. You can also find me on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Instagram. Look for reposting some short practices you can do in the upcoming weeks. Make sure you don't miss them by signing up for my mailing list, logging in onto my website, www.clotheslotusyt.com. See you next time.