Rejected, Broken... Then Unstoppable with Chava Lowy

In this powerful episode, Tamara sits down with bridal makeup artist, entrepreneur, and content
creator Chava Lowy for an honest conversation about resilience, rejection, and finding purpose.
After being isolated from her classmates, rejected by schools, and struggling with severe acne as a teenager, Chava shares how those painful experiences shaped her confidence instead of breaking it. She opens up about building a successful makeup business at a young age,learning to trust herself, healing from childhood wounds, and why your greatest setbacks canbecome the foundation of your biggest success. Whether you've ever felt overlooked,misunderstood, or like you weren't enough, this episode is a reminder that your story isn't over and your hardest seasons may be preparing you for something far greater.

Follow Tamara on Instagram @Talk2Tamara, subscribe on your favorite podcast platform for new episodes on relationships and personal growth. Watch new episodes on Youtube and visit my website for coaching and 1:1 support.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

It had a period where I stayed home from school because I couldn't face people, and those three days, like I literally just did my makeup like over and over at different looks, and it just like I was calm. Like it was the only place where I was just able to like feel and be and just tap into what was happening to me instead of just shutting down and crying. I was just able to like be calm and I felt good. I felt confident. I looked in the mirror and I'm like, this is gonna be okay. Like, and that's when I realized that this really does something for me. Like it makes me feel empowered and strong and good about myself.

SPEAKER_00 0:34

This episode is sponsored by Extensions by Emmy. Anyone who knows me knows that I am obsessed with my hair. So I went to Extensions by Emmy and I bought a halo. Now the halo is the most amazing thing because it does not damage your hair at all. Um, it is a natural look for every day. It's made by a professional hairstylist and extension specialist. It's super easy to use. You literally just put it on your head and it's amazing. It's so comfortable. You don't even feel like you have it on your head. And it comes in many different colors. I am blonde. It is very hard to get a blonde that matches. But when I went to Emmy, she looked at my hair, she matched my hair, and now I have fullness, and it is just so easy. You put it on, anyone can do it. Um, and I really, really highly recommend that you go to extensions by Emmy. She is on Instagram at Emmy Brower or Styles by Emmy. And she is so helpful, she's so easy to accommodate you. She has um, she's just so she's just so great. Um, and I was so happy with my experience. So thank you, Emmy, for giving me an easy, easy thing that I can just throw on my head and I can have luscious, beautiful hair. It doesn't damage my hair. Other extensions that that I've tried are tapons and beads, and they all cause damage to the hair. The halo does not cause damage at all. You put it on, it takes two seconds, and instantly you have voluminous, shiny, amazing, amazing hair. So I really recommend you guys go to extensions by Emmy and thank you so much for sponsoring this episode. Enjoy. Hi, and welcome back. So today we have a very special guest, Java Louis. She is a bridal makeup artist, an entrepreneur, a content creator. Her story is what happens when rejection becomes fueled to defeat. On the outside, it looks like a success story, but behind it are years of rejection, isolation, and moments that left her questioning her worth. Today, she's sharing how those experiences shaped her, strengthened her, and ultimately led her to build a life that she never imagined possible. So, Java, thank you so much for being here today. Thanks so much. I'm so excited. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to share. Yeah, yeah, I'm really excited. And I think that this episode in particular will really resonate with our younger audiences because it talks a lot about growing up in high school and even before high school and all the challenges that you have overcome. So there's a version of this kind of story where we skip straight to the happy ending, right? Because it's easier and it feels good. But I think that what's fair to you, Java, is to talk about the girl who actually lived through it before anyone knew how it would turn out. So, Java, I want to meet her first. So I want you to tell me what it was like the first day of junior high. We're gonna go back to that.

SPEAKER_01 3:51

Awesome. Okay. So it goes back, I guess, like even the whole summer before junior high. I was like super nervous, super anxious. I kind of always knew that like I had a little feeling that the school had it out for me, they weren't really on my side. Um, and I remember just like the night before school talking to my father and like telling him I'm so anxious. I just have a feeling something bad's gonna happen. Also, because once you enter junior high, you go from like having a bunch of teachers, not just like one, like you're split up with teachers. So I just, I don't know, I was nervous. It was something new, it was a new territory. And he said, He's like, Don't worry, it's gonna be fine. Like he would play me music, like everything's gonna be good. And eventually I fell asleep that night and woke up very early the next day, and we had like a carpool, I remember, and everyone was like saying, like, I'm excited, I'm nervous. I went in the car, and I was just like, I'm nervous, like, I don't know about you guys. And also the mother was like, It's gonna be good, it's gonna be good. So we got to school, and how they did it was they wrote like the class lists on the door, and then like you see your class and you go in. Um, so we all went up like excitingly, and we got to the door, and my name's like one of the first names. So I knew I should have been like right at the top. And I saw all my friends, but I didn't see my name, and I'm like, where is my name? And it wasn't there. I was like, it's probably like down the list, flipping, like, no, nowhere. Um, also at that point, like my friends had already ran into the class. Like, it's very hard, I feel like, for a sixth grader to really like tap in and like take a step back and be like, wait, like her name's not on the list. They were just excited, they were in their own bubble, like they went inside. And I remember just like, oh gosh. So I went to the office and I'm like, is this a mistake? Like, where's my name? And they were like, no, it's not a mistake. Like, you are being put into a new class for the next three years, and that was it. And they were like, okay, like go to class now. They dismissed it. Um, I remember going into class, literally, like crying, bawling, shaking, and I didn't even have a choice, like I had to sit there. They said go to class. I I was scared, like I wasn't gonna talk back to them. And I remember the teacher just felt like so helpless for me because she couldn't do anything. And the whole day I was just so alone. We didn't have phones, I couldn't call my mother, like it was just a really, really hard day. And the day wrapped up, and my sister, that was the first time I was seeing my sister. She came on the bus and she was like, How was your first day of school? She knew I was nervous, and I just like broke down, like hysterically crying. And I told her that they switched me out of my class that I've been in for eight years and put me into a whole new class where I wasn't familiar with anyone. Um, and not only that, that just the staff was just so not like like they didn't feel for me. I felt like I was so alone. I didn't even feel any sympathy, any remorse. It was just like, this is your new reality here. Um and I remember she was like, Don't worry, mom and dad are gonna take care of it. Like by tomorrow you'll be back in your class. And I got home and my mother was like, So, how was your day? And I couldn't speak again. Like I was just so distraught. And my sister actually like told my mom what happened and broke it down to her. And I remember like that was the first time I ever saw my father cry. Like he just cried with me. And he also for my parents, it was like kind of like a reminder, like, yep, like here we go again. Like they also kind of like knew something might happen, but they had to be strong for me. And they were just so sad for me. Um and the next day my mother tried to I didn't go to school. For the next three days, my mother's like, You're not going until we get you back into your class. My mother called the office, they're like, sorry, like this is it. We don't have any, like, this is just her new reality for the next three years. We tried like switching schools even at a point, they weren't taking new applicants, and for the next three years I kind of just had to accept my fate, stay in this class. And I still like went to my old class for recess for lunch, but it wasn't the same. I was an outsider now, and it was really, really hard.

SPEAKER_00 7:50

Wow. Wow. So what happened from that, from that point? Like, what did that do to your confidence?

SPEAKER_01 7:59

It kind of was just like it just like made me feel like my thoughts were all right from the beginning. Like, I'm not enough. Um a troublemaker, I'm a leader, what they would call me. Like all these things that were built up from years ahead. It was like, okay, again, like why me? I constantly had that question growing up. Like, why is it me? I'm not doing anything that the other kids are not doing. Like, what what did I do? And it just it put me in like years of just constantly questioning myself and like beating myself up. Like, what am I doing wrong? Where am I going wrong? And how can I like move forward from this? But I just felt like I was in such a rut because it kept happening over and over. And every time I would try and, you know, move forward, another thing knocked me down. Another mother would snitch on me, another mother would send something in of me, and it just it was a constant cycle.

SPEAKER_00 8:47

Do you think that they had it out for you? And like why do you think that is?

SPEAKER_01 8:51

So ever since I could remember, I always struggled academically. Like academically, and school is not my strong point. And I think because of that, I definitely had ADD, and maybe I would talk in class, and you know, I don't think I was anything more than like a normal sixth grader talking in class. Like, I also think in terms like from the mothers' point of views, the mothers that like would tell on me and send things in to me musically is like innocent, like innocent videos. I think that maybe because I come from a family of older siblings, I was just like naturally more mature, more exposed, and all my friends were like the youngest in their family. And I think probably from the parents' point of view, they wanted to shelter their kids and just like kind of like put them in a box and keep them away from me because I was like mature. But as a kid you don't realize that, and it's really painful to keep like just being knocked down.

SPEAKER_00 9:45

Yeah. So looking back now, how do you understand what happened to you as a kid?

SPEAKER_01 9:54

Emotionally, you're saying? Yeah. I think that it happened first of all for a reason. Because I think if I would have been like everyone else and just like had it easy and no like challenges, I would have probably not been as self-aware as I am today and worked on. Um but build character. I remember my father always would say, What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Like after each incident, he would just keep saying it and eventually was just like, Okay, it's killing me. No, I did not believe it, but now I do, and I still remind him till this day. Um, and I think that it really happened to just build character. Like I think, you know, God knew I needed that, a push to tap into myself and work on myself. And I don't know if I would have, if not for everything I've been through growing up.

SPEAKER_00 10:41

Yeah. So after sixth grade to eighth grade, what happened from that from that point forward when you were applying to high school?

SPEAKER_01 10:48

Yeah, so high school came around. Um, I applied to a bunch of places. I just wanted like a fresh, clean slate. I was like, this is my chance at a new start. Um and one interview in specific stood out to me. I went and beforehand, all the girls in my class were saying, like, oh, it's good, you know, like they might ask a few questions about like your social media and stuff, but like it's fine, whatever. I went into the interview, I was excited, I'm like, okay, like I'm gonna kill this. And she looks at me and she said, like, hi, whatever, and then she's like, Do you have so like first thing? Do you have social media? I'm like, yeah. Do you have Netflix? Yeah. Do you have musically at the time? Yeah. Um, do you have Instagram? Yes. And like literally just the entire thing was about like such surface level things. Not one question was asked about myself, you know, what are my interests? What are my hobbies? What makes me happy? What do I want to gain from high school? Like, nothing. And I just remember walking out, like, what is wrong with me? Like, why does everyone just like not give me a chance and not let me be me? And what's crazy is that like they had it out for me so badly, but in eighth grade, I was the run running teen CRM in my house. I came up with the idea on my own. I I got speakers that would come once a month, and people from all different schools, modern schools, yeshiva schools, in the middle schools, and got everyone together, and like I was so spiritual, I craved connections so deeply, and I just I wasn't seen for me.

SPEAKER_00 12:22

Yeah, yeah. How did you handle that as a kid? Yeah. And even the fact that you stayed religious, you know. Um like I don't talk about it often, but I went through a very similar kind of high school experience that like we won't have we don't need to get into. But I think the fact that I even came out religious from kind of hearing, you know, we as kids, we really internalize it and we we think that this is how all Jews like should like act, right? It only matters about our exterior, it only mat it doesn't matter if we're a good person or anything like that. So how did you even, you know, be able to take that and harness it and actually stay religious and stay in the school system with everything that was going on?

SPEAKER_01 13:11

I definitely struggled. It wasn't always like a straight path. I had my questions, I like had my expirations, but I think just like what kept me was my spirituality, and I always tried to tap into that. I would always listen to Sheerim and like even if I was struggling in the Sneas area or with Davening or whatever it was, like I made sure to tap into that spiritual side of myself. Um but I yeah, I think just like I what fuels me is doing work and learning about myself and understanding myself, and I think that that honestly fueled me. Like just self-introspection, learning more and understanding things and just putting pieces together that didn't make sense to me growing up.

SPEAKER_00 13:54

Right. But as a kid, that's really hard to understand that, right? Like you have to be a certain level of maturity to really tap into that, as opposed to just being like, you know what, I don't really care about religion, I don't care about the school system. Like I'm just gonna I'm just gonna do my own thing and rebel kind of a like against it. It's really interesting that you were able to do that as like a kid, you know? That you were able to have that.

SPEAKER_01 14:19

Yeah, I wouldn't say it was like as a kid, it was more once I was in high school.

SPEAKER_00 14:23

Um You're still a kid in high school.

SPEAKER_01 14:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:27

So what happened after that? Like were you able to get into high schools?

SPEAKER_01 14:32

Yeah, so actually funny from that not funny, hurtful, but that's I guess what I covered that with. Yeah. Um, I remember all my friends were getting their acceptances and this specific I didn't get into any schools I applied to. Um, which again, like, didn't come as a shocker to me. I kind of had a feeling. But one of these the school that I had the interview with, I remember asking my mother, like, so did I get an acceptance letter? Like, all my friends got it. And she was like, No, like low-key didn't. Like she thought she thought I would for sure get in. And I remember she called the school and she's like, I'm just wondering why my daughter didn't get an acceptance letter. And they said, Because, well, she has social media, she has a phone, she has Netflix, TikTok, and my mother was like, Are you kidding me? Every single girl in that school has that. Right. And she was the only one that was honest. Like, this is what you're teaching kids to just lie and not be authentic. And like she was so hurt for me. And again, I was so hurt because like I was so real. I was the only one that was like telling the truth and just being myself, and I didn't get into school because of that. So they said that I can come if I like delete everything, like agree to not have a phone, not have any social media, and I was like, okay, this is that's not gonna work for me.

SPEAKER_00 15:51

So where did you go from there?

SPEAKER_01 15:53

So at that point I just was getting like no after no, and it was extremely hard because all my friends were getting yes after yes, and it was the talk of the school, where are you going? What are you doing? And it was like a month after ready, and I had no clue where I was going. Um, I didn't go to school for like three days again after everyone got their acceptances because I just couldn't face anyone, it was too painful. And I remember we were sitting in the kitchen, my parents and I just like what's gonna happen if one of these schools don't take you, like where are we gonna like what am I gonna do? And my parents thought of the school that I ended up going to and I was like, oh, I don't know, like I don't really have so many friends there. And they're like, just do it, just try, like apply. So I applied, I had an interview, it went great, and it was like the first feeling of like they cared, like they wanted to know about me. And literally the next day I got in, and it was just like such a sign from Hashem that, like, okay, like you're going there, like they want you, and from there I was so excited to go. I thrived there, it was an amazing, amazing place, amazing environment. And so much so that they asked me to start a makeup club because they knew that it was one of my hobbies and one of my interests. And at that time, only teachers did clubs, like this wasn't something they opened to the students, but they wanted to be there for me and be on my side and help me thrive, and it was just such an amazing feeling.

SPEAKER_00 17:20

So, why do you think that that that they were able to see you, right? Why do you think there was like a difference between that school and the school that you interviewed in that you really that you wanted to go to originally?

SPEAKER_01 17:32

I think that they didn't have like ulterior motives, like they just saw me as me and let me be me. They let me thrive in that environment and I didn't have to fake anything. I was just myself. And I think that they appreciated the authenticity. I made so many relationships with teachers till this day. Like they so many of them came to my wedding, my engagement party, and that was something I never thought was possible for myself. But they just they gave me a chance and saw me for me. Yeah, that's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 18:03

Um, so now I want to kind of shift into you talk about makeup as being like your passion, right? Um something that you've always done, even as a little kid, right? Like you were really, really little. Um and then you also talk about your acne journey that that you had. So can you tell us like a little bit about that?

SPEAKER_01 18:22

Yes. So at the time when I was applying to high schools, I started developing really bad acne. And slowly, slowly it got worse. And it was just like such a terrible combination because it was like I was so depressed from not getting accepted to any high school and facing my friends that all were like non-stop talking about it, excited. And not only was I dealing with that, but I was also dealing with such a major like self-image um issue. And as soon as it just like got so bad, I was like, I'm not I'm not walking out anymore. Like I need to actually learn how to cover it and you know, make this situation better for myself. So that's when I really started putting on makeup, and every single day I would not leave the house without literally a full beat of coverage on my skin. It was green, yellow. I don't even know what it was at the time. Like I didn't know what I was doing. But that's how I learned. And how old were you? I was eighth grade, so probably like 14 at the time.

SPEAKER_00 19:23

I'm not sure what eighth grade is, but so coupled that with you know not being with your friends in the same class, not getting accepted to high school, all the things going on for you. Um, and you just kind of like took this upon yourself. You're like, okay, I'm gonna learn how to cover my own makeup, as opposed to going in and just being like, why is this happening in my life? Why is this like you took it and you actually did something with it?

SPEAKER_01 19:46

Yeah, I remember the day I got like my last rejection from a high school. Again, like I had a period where I stayed home from school because I couldn't face people, and those three days, like I literally just did my makeup like over and over at different looks, and it just like I was calm, like it was the only place where I was just able to like feel and be and just tap into what was happening to me instead of just shutting down and crying. I was just able to like be calm and I felt good, I felt confident, I looked in the mirror and I'm like, this is gonna be okay. Like, and that's when I realized that this really does something for me. Like it makes me feel empowered and strong and good about myself.

unknown 20:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:26

And how did you build a business from because I remember like you were still in high school and you were doing makeup parties, and the school, even from from what I remember, they they allowed you to kind of like leave class to go to go do makeup events, which is crazy.

SPEAKER_01 20:43

Yeah. So I started in eighth grade officially, doing people, like people would have come for yearbook pictures, um, and then like my mom's friends, and slowly but surely I started an Instagram page and I did a lot of people for free, but eventually got to a point where like I was really getting booked up, and my school, like they were amazing. They were like, listen, like if you have a wedding, if you have a job, like just tell us before, like we'll accommodate you. And they really did. And I got to do like shoots in the city for models and weddings and varts, and it was just like a feeling I can't describe. Like, I was just like, Oh, like I'm amazing, I'm great, like I'm not what everyone told me I was. And eventually I took that, you know, confidence and really put a lot of effort into building up my brand and building up my company, and I'm still till today building it up, but like it just gave me a feeling I couldn't describe.

SPEAKER_00 21:34

Wow, that's incredible. So, what was it like? Uh just to talk more about your acne journey, like the fact that you had at 15 had to wear a full face of makeup. Number one, were you made fun of because of that?

SPEAKER_01 21:51

So, not directly to my face, but like definitely behind my back, people would look and like laugh and talk, and I definitely felt like tension. Because it was like a little bit scary to look at. Like I had cystic acne and bumps, and I also didn't really know in the beginning how to put on makeup. So like it was a little bit orange, a little bit green. Like I know that people for sure were looking, but no one said anything to me.

SPEAKER_00 22:15

No one said anything to you. But like you know, um, do you remember like a specific moment when you looked when you looked in the mirror and you were like horrified with what with what you saw and what that did to you?

SPEAKER_01 22:26

Yeah, I think the breaking point was when I was like, This is enough. I'm gonna go on Accutane. And I just was looking in the mirror, I couldn't even look at myself. I was so sad. It was all in the same period of like the whole high school situation. I think that also fueled it. Um, and also it was the night that I got my last rejection, and I was just like, What am I gonna do? Like, I can't do this anymore. I can't look at myself. If I don't even feel good inside, how can I ever like thrive on the outside and and blossom into something and become something? And I remember telling my mother, like, it's not an option, like I'm going on acne team, it's the only thing that's gonna help. I tried everything, and she agreed. She knew that it like meant a lot to me. She saw me suffering, and that's when I started it, and eventually it started clearing. It was still a long journey, and I still had acne for the beginning of high school, but it was all along that same timeline, which was really, really hard. Yeah, wow.

SPEAKER_00 23:26

And like it's pretty amazing that you were able to even leave your house, you know, that you weren't like, oh, I'm just gonna stay at home and I'm gonna, you know, not face, not face the world, you know, being rejected, then having the acne, all these things that could make a person feel depressed and can make a person, you know, not really want to hang out with their friends and not really want to be like social and out there in the world. But you did the opposite.

SPEAKER_01 23:51

Yeah, I will say that I did have a little bit of an advantage because it was COVID. So kind of got to hide. Yeah, but like, no, even like FaceTime, like I didn't want to FaceTime my friends, I didn't talk to my friends. I remember muting every single chat. People would text me, like, hey, are you okay? They knew I didn't get in, they knew I was struggling, and I didn't want to answer anyone. I I I went into isolation, like I did hide, even though it was COVID, like just even on texting basis, FaceTime basis, I yeah, I disappeared.

SPEAKER_00 24:19

Yeah. So can you go into um you mentioned to me about a letter that you wrote to a principal. Um, can you talk a little bit more about that?

SPEAKER_01 24:30

Yeah, sure. So it was a matchabis. I was in my apartment, married already, and I was just like, it was late. My husband was sleeping, and I was just in my feels, and I guess anytime like I'm trying to understand why I acted a certain way or like a certain behavior come up, I always like to like self-reflect and like draw back. And I guess for some reason that memory of my whole high school situation came up, and I was like just thinking to myself, like, I'm in so much pain from this still. Like, why is it fair that they just get to like not even like know how I'm feeling and not even know like what it did to me? So I decided I'm just gonna write my feelings down. Maybe I'll send it, maybe I won't. And I basically just relived the whole interview. And I was just sitting in my bed crying. And after I finished it, I'm like, you know, I'm gonna send it, and I'm not sending it for a response, I'm not sending it for a text back. I'm just I just want her to like understand, you know, understand where I'm holding now, where I was holding back then, what it did to me. And I sent it and I honestly felt amazing. You know, like sometimes you send things for like a hope that you're gonna get a response. Like, really, I really didn't do that. It was just to get it off my chest, and I did not get a response. It's a year later. Um, but it just felt great to just vent, and it felt like a part of me really like healed once I did that. I like let go of it.

SPEAKER_00 25:59

But did you feel like I mean you got married very, very young, right? Um, and you recently had a baby, so miles is up. Thank you. Um did you feel like you were able to fully heal from that, from that, you know, time and time in your life, or did you think like you took it into your marriage and you took it into places that you're like, oh, you need to kind of prove it to people. Like, look, I got married, look, I have a business.

SPEAKER_01 26:27

So I will say that I feel like naturally that does sometimes come up because it's like, you know, you push me down for so many years and like I'm doing so well. Like it's kind of like look at me. But I would take it like a step deeper than that and say that I've done so much work to really like go back to that childhood and my childhood self that now when I am like self-doubting myself or I'm feeling a lack of confidence and I'm like acting a certain way because of it, I'm able to really just like talk to myself and understand why I'm acting the way that I'm acting and what triggered the feeling that I'm feeling. And a lot of times it does lead back to not feeling good enough and not feeling confident. But at the same time, because of that, I worked so hard on my confidence. And like my entire high school was just me building that and building that and building connections also, which really helped me feel confident, also. It's like, you know, someone cares to be in my life and get to know me, and just like seminary also was amazing for me. I I loved it, I had the best year. I I really just grew and got to understand myself even more, and therefore, like I'm just able to really tap into that.

unknown 27:40

Right.

SPEAKER_00 27:41

You left high school early?

SPEAKER_01 27:43

Yeah, I graduated. Well, I didn't graduate, but I left school in 11th grade, and then I went to seminary because I wasn't really thriving academically in my school, even though I loved it and I was super spiritual. I always had I still do have like a constant crave for connection. My parents actually came up with it. They're like, why don't you go to seminary or early? Like I'm like Honestly, yeah. I'm like, that would be a sick idea. And my school wasn't so on board with it in the beginning because obviously they wanted me to finish, you know, school, but they knew that I had a career like waiting for me, and they knew that I was like mature and able and willing, and they helped me get in. And without them, I wouldn't have been able to go probably.

SPEAKER_00 28:24

Yeah. Um But was that hard again to leave your friends and to leave like your grade and you know, go again to a new a new environment and a new like new people?

SPEAKER_01 28:36

So unlike my high school interview, the seminar I ended up going to, um, Tomorrow's Vora, great place. I had an amazing interview where I felt so understood and so seen, and that made me so excited to go. I didn't go with a lot of friends because I was the year younger, but I was just so excited. I was so excited to go to Israel, be alone and independent, but also just like have this year for myself, like do everything that I need for myself, be a little selfish that year. And I ended up going home because of the war October 7th, which did set me back. Like that was very hard to go back and put myself back out there. Um, but I did it and it was the best year, really.

unknown 29:21

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 29:22

And now af now after having a baby, like are you gonna still be doing it full force in the with the wedding industry and all those like long hours and everything?

SPEAKER_01 29:32

So I made like a pact with myself that I'm only gonna do two to three weddings a week because it is very tiring and long full days, but I'm definitely still gonna keep at it and keep doing it and building up and does it still give you that like passion and totally totally like doesn't fade. No, like there's nothing like that feeling after I finish a job and I finish a family and they feel beautiful, and I'm just like, yes, like I did that. I was able to do that, I was able to partake in that.

SPEAKER_00 29:59

Yeah, that's amazing. If you could go back and speak to that 12-year-old girl, right, who you were, or the eighth grader that walked out of the interview, what would you tell her?

SPEAKER_01 30:10

I would tell her that I'm proud of her for going in with like an excitement, even though she's been knocked down so many times, and for just having the confidence to even walk in there to begin with and show up. And I would tell her that this doesn't define you, you know, you're gonna find your voice, you're gonna find your passion, and this is just gonna build you and make you stronger. It doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger.

SPEAKER_00 30:35

That's the famous line that your father says.

SPEAKER_01 30:38

And just to like be patient, you know, like I saw so many times in my childhood where things that I thought were like horrible and the worst thing that could ever happen turned out being really good. Like even with the whole high school situation, I was like, oh, why couldn't I get into this school? But the school that I wanted to go to wouldn't have been so amazing to me about my career and about graduating early and about a makeup club. They would never have done that. They would never have understood where I was coming from. And I just got to see like the light at the end of the tunnel. Not always do you get to, obviously, there's situations where you don't. I still don't understand why I was taken out of my class for eight years and put into a class alone. But just like there's light at the end of the tunnel, and it might not be today, tomorrow, but it will come.

SPEAKER_00 31:22

And I also think that um every person like shines at different times of their lives. You know, there are some people who high school may not be like their time to shine, but they'll be later on in life that there's time to shine, you know? Totally. Um, but when you're in it and when you're going through it, it feels like it's your entire life, right? It feels like there's never gonna be the end of that tunnel.

SPEAKER_01 31:46

Yeah, I remember just like feeling so jealous and like just thinking to myself, like, why does everyone else have it so easy? They get into whatever summer they want, they get into whatever high school they want, they get the best grades and they could focus and this and that, and like I spent so much time worrying and just being jealous, but eventually later on I blossomed and like I am something now, and I I am able to feel what it's like to be on the other side. Um I think that that's a big thing that also helped me heal was like that I did come out of it, you know.

SPEAKER_00 32:16

And why did you want to share your story here today?

SPEAKER_01 32:21

I think that there are so many people, kids, adults, that just feel so misunderstood and so beaten up from the system, whether it's a school system, a shirk system, a seminar, whatever whatever system it is, because there are systems in today's day and age. Um and people just lose so much hope. They just like they they can't believe that there will be like light at the end of the tunnel. And I lived it. I I really I didn't even like share everything, but like, you know, I've been through things and I believe that if you're eager and like willing to push through it and put in the hard work, like you'll get through it. And I just want people to be able to relate and like know that they're not alone and if they're struggling to find something that makes them feel good, like just keep trying, keep pushing. It will come eventually if you want it bad enough and hard enough.

unknown 33:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:16

What gave you the motivation to push?

SPEAKER_01 33:21

I think results, like seeing that it was paying off, meaning like after I did my first client, seeing a second client was coming back and a third, and then like eventually moving it to engagement parties and then weddings, like my first bride was a crazy feeling. I was like, wow, like I was in ninth grade when I did my first bride. That's insane. Like that's crazy. And that just gave me like the motivation to keep going, was like I'm doing something, it's becoming something. It's not like it wasn't like I wasn't getting results, you know?

SPEAKER_00 33:50

Yeah. But how did you develop the self-confidence that you were actually good at it? Because there are people who could be good at something and they'll do it, but they don't believe in themselves that they're actually good at it.

SPEAKER_01 34:01

Right. So I don't know why, but like when I was in the makeup space in my mind, like I was a legend, like I could do whatever I wanted. Like I don't know what part of my brain connected like that, but like it was your superpower. Yeah, like ever since I was a kid, I was three years old. I was going in my mother's makeup bag making videos, yay, it's like so. When I was in that step and stage, I was like, I could do this, and I had the confidence because I just felt like I had the um creative side to me, and I knew that I'm like ambitious if I want something I can get it, and I did.

SPEAKER_00 34:37

Do you think that you are a very ambitious person?

SPEAKER_01 34:41

Yes, I definitely wasn't always you know, like when you're constantly told that you're not enough and you're too you have too much ADD and too much ADHD, you kind of just like don't believe it. But once I got to a point where I found my passion, I found what I like to do, I became super ambitious and now I'm like overly ambitious. Um but yeah, I would say I'm definitely ambitious when I want something, I go after it. Right.

SPEAKER_00 35:08

So I actually find it interesting. Um, I would like to know how people can find their passion, right? How people, because not everybody, you know, can do makeup and not everybody can do hair. Like there are a lot of young girls that are struggling with that, you know, that they don't know like what their passion is.

SPEAKER_01 35:27

I feel like seeing what gives you the most happiness, whether that's like talking to someone, whether that's making food in your kitchen, like becoming a private chef, whether that's you know, whether you're like into fashion, maybe becoming a stylist, like usually people have like that one thing in their life that like they enjoy, if not more than one. But like usually someone has like that one thing, art, um, yeah, fashion, beauty, food, whatever it is. And I feel like if you tap into that and say, like, can I make a career out of this or can I go into something like this, that could really be like helpful. Right. Because if you go to a job where you're just like sitting at a desk nine to five, bored out of your mind, like you're not gonna get any meaning from that. You're gonna dread it every single day.

unknown 36:11

Right.

SPEAKER_00 36:12

Not to say that some people do like those types of jobs, yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 36:17

But yeah, people are good at like billing or whatever it is, like then that's good for them. But like, meaning like just see what keeps you going.

SPEAKER_00 36:24

What gives you the passion? Yeah, right. Could we talk um a little bit more about what did the actual writing that letter do for your for your healing? Like, how did that heal you by just being able to send it? Because like I'll say, like, for me, like I don't know if that healed me when I sent when I sent a letter, but I did it as kind of like a like I I want you to know like this is where I am. Like you were wrong about me, you know? So it's kind of like a stick it to them, um, more than a healing place, at least for me.

SPEAKER_01 37:00

I would say it was both. I definitely did want to show them like you know, I I did become something, I am something. But just like at that moment, I was like so emotional about it, and getting it off my chest and clicking send was like reassurance of I guess how far I've came and that let me like let go of it and just like this isn't the past, I'm married now, I'm furthering my career, and like that's it. Like eventually you just have to you can't live in victim mode your whole life.

SPEAKER_00 37:29

Right. You know, was there something that was going on in your life that like triggered all those feelings?

SPEAKER_01 37:35

Not like anything specific. I think I was just like in my feels, maybe like looking back at old pictures. I don't really remember what it was, but yeah, I'm saying I I think about it from time to time. Right. Yeah, it was pretty much like a constant thing in my childhood till like high school. So just that constant like cycle of being told on and being called the leader and the class clown, and I really like looking back, like I I really don't think I was anything more than like just your average girl talking in class. Like I didn't I wasn't anything crazy.

SPEAKER_00 38:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:12

Do you still think about it now? Um I think that it gives me fuel to like keep putting into my business and my brand. Like when I'm doubting myself, it's like okay, look where I started and look what I built, and now I'm gonna go even further to build higher. I think that's when it like plays a part.

SPEAKER_00 38:31

Yeah, that's amazing.

SPEAKER_01 38:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:34

Well, thank you so much for being here, Java. Do you want to tell our listeners where to find you?

SPEAKER_01 38:39

Yes, um, makeup by Java with two A's on Instagram because one A was taken. And yeah, you can find me there.

SPEAKER_00 38:46

Find you there and book her up. Yeah. When are you starting to take to take jobs again? July 28th is my first job. July 28th. Yes. Well, really, really exciting. Thank you so much. And I'm sure that our listeners are going to gain a lot from this. Thank you for having me. Thank you for coming. And thank you. And um, if you would like to find me, you can find me at at talk to Tamara on Instagram or at TamaraGestetner.com on my website. Thank you.